Original subtitles

- Hell, no.

- Ahh!

- [screaming]

[eerie music]

- You know who it is.

It's Flip, the dark prince of pranking.

And I've been summoned here

from your collective nightmares--

- [screams]

--to take ordinary people,

people who have it coming to them,

and drop them into frightening scenarios of my own creation.

Next up, the holy trinity of horror: exorcisms--

- I call upon the power of the Bible.

--possessed dolls--

- I got a surprise for you.

- You're like giant jigsaw.

--and mind control.

- You good, dude? - [groans]

- Praise be.

- Ahh!

- All right, y'all,

let's do better by being badder.

- Ahh! - Ahh!

This is "Scare Tactics."

[eerie music]

* *

Have you ever had one of those friends who used to be cool

and fun and then one day decided

to get their act together, and now they're a total bore?

Lace does.

- You haven't been able to, like, do crazy things that we

used to go and do together.

- Her friend Beth can't find the time

to hang out with her bestie anymore because she's

just so busy being so perfect.

But Lace figured she could get Beth out of the house

if she gave her an undeniably perfect excuse--

volunteering at a local military hospital.

And guess what.

Miss Perfect jumped at the opportunity.

It won't be the last jump of the day for Beth, either.

[chuckles]

- [breathing heavily]

[growls]

* *

[indistinct chatter]

- Hello.

- How are you?

- We're supposed to be doing that time for the troops--

- Some pizza, maybe. - Time for troops?

both: Time for troops! - OK.

Um--

If you all just want to take a seat right here.

Thank you again so much.

Not everybody is willing to do this.

- Very happy to do it for all the troops.

- Thank you so much.

Take a seat, and I'll be right back.

I'm so sorry. - OK.

- I got to burp.

[burps] Sorry.

- [indistinct].

- [laughs]

Can't take you anywhere.

They should not have let us talk to any troops.

- I'm feeling gassy.

- Um, thank you so much.

I can take you right over here.

- Sure.

* *

- [whispering] Yeah, you can come in.

If you want to just take a seat.

Thank you.

Just one second.

* *

Private Regan, you have some visitors.

* *

OK.

* *

Some nice ladies came to visit you, all right?

* *

- Hi.

* *

- Are you feeling all right?

* *

- Well, Private Regan, I'm Beth.

- Yeah, my name's Lace.

* *

- I'm glad you're here.

- Oh, good.

- Yeah.

Do you know when you'll get to go home?

- They don't really know what's wrong.

* *

- I got to be real with you, though.

Those lima beans look terrible.

- [chuckles]

* *

- I don't know what happens next.

* *

[phone rattles] - Oh.

[scoffs]

- Sorry, just a minute.

Can I leave you for two seconds?

- Sure. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. - Are you sure?

OK. All right.

I have to answer this real quick,

and I'll be right back.

* *

- So Regan, what--what do you do?

What do you like to do?

- I'm an outdoor person.

You?

- Not that.

Not that at all.

- What do you do?

- Gosh.

Well, I'm a mom.

Can you tell me a little bit more about you?

* *

- Yes.

Yes.

I don't know.

Sometimes.

* *

You're very pretty.

- Oh, thank you.

- Sometimes at night, I see stuff in here.

Doors open, close.

- What do you mean?

- Things move around.

When I close my eyes, things are

in one place and then another.

- Yeah, that's scary.

- Have you ever felt like you were someone else?

* *

- Well, I feel crazy sometimes.

Absolutely.

I think that's kind of part of hormones and being a woman.

[door clatters]

Hi. - Hello.

How are you feeling?

How's she been?

- Oh, she's lovely.

- Has she said anything?

- Yeah, many things.

- She hasn't spoken to us in two weeks.

* *

What did she say?

- She said she--

honestly, she said she sees some things sometimes at night,

that they move around.

- Thank you.

That's concerning. - Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Hasn't told us anything about that.

Do you want to tell me about the things you see?

[knock at door]

- Hey, you're visiting with Private Regan?

- Yeah.

- It's very nice of you.

My name is Chaplain Bingham.

[machine beeping]

Private,

how are you doing today?

- I don't want them here.

- What?

- Get them away.

- Regan, we're trying to help you.

- Now! Go!

- Regan.

- Go!

- What is happening? - [grunting]

- Oh, my god. - Oh, my god!

Oh, my god.

- [screams]

- What is this?

- We call upon the power of the Bible.

Regan, no!

Regan!

- [screaming]

- Ahh! Ahh!

Ahh! - Stay with us, private!

Please, accept the Lord. - [screaming]

- Accept the Lord! - Oh, no. No, no, no!

- [screaming]

- The thing is, you're on "Scare Tactics."

- Yeah! - This isn't real.

- [laughs] [applause]

You're OK. - You're fine.

[laughter] - You're fine.

- Come on in.

- Sorry. - That is not--

did you do this? - Yes.

- [screams]

[laughter]

I hate you so much!

- I know. I know. I'm sorry.

- All your vitals look normal.

- I feel so much better.

- Get some rest, hon.

You're going to be all right now.

* *

[eerie carnival music]

* *

[indistinct whispering]

* *

- Can I be real with you for a second?

You weirdos, even you adults,

can't seem to stop playing games.

You love getting a prize.

Like this dude, Kris.

He loves prizes.

He loves horror movies, too.

And he thinks of himself as fearless.

His friend Angelique has never seen

him startle or lose his cool.

But I think I can help her out with that.

[chuckles]

* *

[upbeat music]

* *

- I want to try to win the money.

What we gonna win?

both: Oh!

Oh, my god.

- [laughs]

* *

- Dang, you did-- - That's crazy, man.

I ain't never won nothing like this before.

- Whoa, look at this.

Got some tickets.

* *

- And then whatever this is.

- That's awesome. We'll redeem this for you.

- Oh-ho-ho-ho!

- This one is really, really fun.

- Yeah!

- [laughs] - I'm just still in shock.

- This is my friend Anne,

and she's gonna send you guys

on a little scavenger hunt.

- OK.

- There you go.

Take her.

- You're like a giant jigsaw right here.

- OK.

- Hello.

[dramatic musical sting]

- Hello.

- Congratulations.

What's your name?

- [laughs] Kris.

- I've got a surprise for you, Kris.

- Oh, my gosh.

Why is it talking?

- It's at my birthday party.

Will you take me?

- OK.

- [cackling]

Now follow the music to my birthday party.

- Your birthday party?

- I have a prize for you.

- This must be the prize right here.

- You going to go first?

- Nah, you the guy.

You the guy.

Trying to party.

Ooh, it's hot up in here.

- [laughs] It's all mine.

* *

- Will you open my gift?

- OK.

- All right, you do the honors.

- Hold the little buddy.

Let's see.

Make sure it ain't no bomb.

[laughter]

Been watching too many movies.

- Right.

It's that designer box?

- It's a Chanel box.

[bouncy music]

- For my birthday this year, I wish for you--

- What the hell?

- To die!

[both screaming]

[both screaming]

- [cackling]

- You're on "Scare Tactics."

Oh, my god.

Yo!

How you doing?

- Good, buddy. How are you? - Oh, my goodness.

Oh, snap.

[applause]

[laughter]

- You literally picked this up and tried to shoot me.

[laughter]

- Happy birthday.

Here's the thing.

I've seen all the entertainment out there.

I can't get it out of my head.

It mostly sucks, but you know what doesn't?

The WWE.

Up next.

- How sweet it is!

- Let's see what happens when WWE superstars get

scared for real.

- The world-famous tag team The New Day have been teasing

their boy, the American Nightmare Cody Rhodes,

saying that the champ doesn't know how to have fun anymore.

So Cody decided to set them straight

and make The New Day tap out with fear.

- Now I have the opportunity to prank The New Day,

and I am dying to see what happens here.

- So I created a fake reality show called "Thrill Ride."

- Get ready for "Thrill Ride."

- Contestants compete for $1 million

by conquering their fears or something.

- [grunts]

- It's not the most sophisticated concept,

but these reality shows never are.

- [shouting]

- So Cody asked New Day to help choose which

contestants will make it to the next round

of this fake-ass show.

They think their job is to make sure the competitors are

tough enough to face their fears,

but they're about to witness Cody's most

explosive finishing move yet.

[loud explosion]

[eerie music]

* *

[doorbell rings]

- Yeah.

[funky music]

* *

- Ah!

OK, OK, OK, OK.

- Yeah, yeah. Thanks for having us.

- Of course.

We couldn't do "Thrill Ride" without you,

so thanks for being here.

- All right, we're rolling on the floor.

Rolling, rolling.

Rolling on the floor.

- I wonder what music they'll put on this.

[vocalizing]

- There he is. - Yeah.

Hello.

- Here we go!

- [barks]

- My name is Don.

I'm from Illinois.

I think I'd crush it on "Thrill Ride."

Personally, when things get difficult,

I don't like to give up.

That's how I met my wife.

Kind of with confidence.

- Wow.

- And then she met someone else, so--

- Oh, wow. - Oh, no.

- Whoa.

- We got divorced, and it's been difficult.

We share custody of a cat.

- Oh.

- That's really tough.

- So no children?

No human children? - No, no, no.

- OK, just the custody of the cat.

- Just the cat. - Got it.

- I hate to put you on the spot,

but I did notice still with the wedding band.

- Yeah.

- It's "Thrill Ride."

New experiences.

I would take that ring off.

I'd leave it right here on this table.

* *

Step one. - Wow, look at that.

- Step one. Step one.

Here we go! Here we go!

Congrats. You're OK.

How's it going? - Hello.

- Good, good.

I'm nervous to meet you guys, but--

- Meeting The New Day is a bit of a...thrill.

[chuckles]

Got it.

Use it.

- * You can't hide *

* From the thrill ride *

- * Thrill ride *

- OK, so the next girl, she's, like, super nervous.

- OK.

- So just do what you guys can to, like, pump her up.

- Sweet.

Got you.

This is the worst part for me is the wait.

I'm nervous now.

- Suspense. - Bated breath.

* *

- She looks really nervous.

- She is nervous.

- Yeah!

- Here we go. - Here we go.

Come on in.

Welcome, welcome! - Come on in.

Hello.

- Hello. - How's it going?

- How are you?

- [sighs] Good.

- Good.

- My name is Josie.

- Josie, you seem a little nervous.

- Yeah. - I am.

I'm--I'm pretty nervous. - It's OK.

- Yeah, it's all right. We get nervous.

You know what we do when we get nervous

when we do stuff like this?

I like to stand up, and we just shake it out.

There you go.

There you go!

Yeah!

- Here we go.

- Tell us about yourself.

- When I was a kid, I was bullied a lot.

And I'm here because I'm more powerful

than I give myself credit for.

- So sorry to hear that you were bullied,

but it's such a brave thing for you

to put yourself out here.

- The only time I've ever tried to stand up for myself,

I got blamed for a lot of stuff that--

- Can you talk a little bit about what you were blamed for?

- I was in second grade, and there was this one boy

that--he had it out for me.

And I decided that I had finally had enough, you know?

And I was going to say something to him about it.

And he got really-- he got really sick.

He said that his head was hurt.

He went to the hospital,

and he passed away.

And a lot of people said that it was my fault.

- Yeah, i-it doesn't sound to me like it was your fault.

- I didn't do anything.

Like all I did was look at him.

I didn't even say anything.

- I feel like this is a great first step,

but I don't know how to put it.

I'm just concerned that "Thrill Ride"

may not be for you.

- Whoa.

* *

- Maybe I'm the only one.

Maybe I'm speaking out of turn.

- Oh, well, I don't know.

I mean, I think it's a huge step for you to be here.

You know what I mean?

Under all these lights and have to talk about the hard things

that you've been through.

I don't know.

I feel like it could be a good step for you,

you know what I mean, to get to where you want to be.

And again, I think it's really--

I think it's amazing that--

- Hey. You all right?

- --you've gone out of your way to take this step--

- Are you OK?

- --towards being here.

- Can we hold for a second?

- Yeah, I'm fine. - You good, dude?

Give me one second-- - Yeah.

- Ah. - Josie.

[high-pitched ringing]

- You good, dude?

- Ah.

- Hey. You all right? - Can we hold for a second?

- Yeah, I'm fine. Give me just one second.

- Yeah. Andy, let's hold for a second.

- You good, dude? - Yeah.

Can I just take-- - Are you OK?

Yeah. - Josie.

Josie, are you all right?

- OK, can I step over here?

- Please.

You OK?

- I'm--yeah, I'm fine.

- OK.

We lost you for a second, huh? - [chuckles]

- Whew. - Yeah.

- Mm-hmm.

- OK, well, yeah, this is something

that you were nervous coming down,

but now that you're standing here,

you seem like you're loosening up a little bit.

- Mm-hmm.

- I think it's a really, really big step, so--

- Thank you. - He said he's okay.

- Thanks.

You guys--you guys are making me feel

like I can really do this.

- There we go. [laughter]

- Apology--apologies.

Just--I don't know if you guys are feeling the same energy

that I'm feeling here.

I don't like this.

I don't know if this is--

or "Thrill Ride" in particular is a good fit.

Clearly, there's some problems.

You have some problems.

- OK. - Cody--

- The argument isn't going to help.

- Sorry, guys. - I, uh--

I just--I don't--

I don't feel confident that putting you on "Thrill Ride"

is the right thing.

- It is the right thing.

I'm--I'm ready now!

[high-pitched ringing]

- You OK?

- Calm. - I'm very sorry.

- What's the problem?

- This is a very freaky situation.

- What did you call me?

- I'm--I'm not dealing with this freak

right here and right now.

This is--

- OK, well, it's not nice to be like that.

- Do not

call me freak!

[loud explosion] - What the [bleep]?

What the [bleep]? - Oh, my god.

No! No! No! No! - No!

- Oh, my god.

- [screaming]

- No, no, no, no!

- [screaming]

[high-pitched ringing]

[eerie music]

* *

- [exhales] I'm good.

I'm good.

Big E, Xavier Woods, Kofi Kingston,

my friends at The New Day,

this show is not called "Thrill Ride."

You guys actually are on "Scare Tactics."

[laughter, applause] - Hey!

- Throw you in the pool!

[laughter] - Oh, my god.

- Come on, man.

Let's give it up.

- I love "Scare Tactics."

- Oh, my gosh.

- You weren't supposed to get me.

- Once this dies down, I'm going to freak out

that we're on the show.

[laughter]

- But the part was not to be the victim.

- I might be a little older, but I still got it.

You know?

- Yeah. Yeah.

He might need to be in a suit now.

- Very concerned about calling you a freak,

because these are three of the nicest human beings

you'll ever meet.

And I was waiting for one of them to rip me to shreds.

- It's the death stare that got me.

- Yeah.

- That's a lot. - Oh, man.

- Well done. Well done. - Thank you.

- Yeah.

- Thanks. - Thank you.

- Oh, my god. - [barks]