All language subtitles for Nathan For You S01E07 The Claw of Shame.DVDRip.HI.en.COMCNTL

Good evening.

We're coming to you from
the historic Elysian Park

in Los Angeles, California.

Now, every week on my show, I
challenge people to take big risks.

But some have been critical
that I never take risks myself.

Well, tonight, that's
all gonna change.

Over the past month,
I've been learning

how to pick the lock on
these police-grade handcuffs.

"Why?" You ask.

Because tonight I'm
gonna take a bigger risk

than anyone has ever
taken on television before.

In just a few moments,
I'm going to be handcuffed

to this solid steel frame,

and I'll have exactly 90
seconds to free myself

before the claw
on this robotic arm

undoes my pants,

exposing me to an
audience of children.

If that happens, an LAPD officer

is standing by to arrest
me for indecent exposure.

We've all seen escape
artists risk death before.

But tonight, I'm going to
risk something even worse...

Becoming a registered
sex offender for life.

And what you're going to
see tonight is 100% real.

Welcome to Nathan For You.

This is "The Claw of Shame."

Now, you know this
is controversial, right?

- What do I gain by doing this?
- Nothing.

If he's gonna escape,
if he's gonna go to jail...

I might not even attempt
it. He's taking a big risk.

If you've seen my show before,

you know I usually focus
on helping small businesses

by bringing them big ideas.

But tonight's episode is
going to be a bit different.

Right now, you're seeing
my final practice run,

my last chance to get the escape right
before risking life as a sex offender.

But to get to this point,

it took months of
planning and preparation.

Firstly, I am not
an escape artist.

And though I have some experience
doing magic as a teenager...

There's nothing
in the bag, right?

- Yeah.
- (GIGGLES)

Bag is completely empty.
You can see right through it.

I quit performing years ago and
have never done an escape before.

So I booked a training session
with escape master Mark Paskell

so I could learn how to pick
the locks on a pair of cuffs.

How do I escape from handcuffs?

- A shim.
- Oh.

If you have a shim, you can...

- Is that a hair clip?
- This is a hair clip.

But it's adapted a little
bit. You get in there...

(CLICK) And push.

- Right.
- Then you can get out.

Even after he taught me, it took
me over 30 minutes to pick the lock.

I had a lot of work ahead of me
to get my time down to 90 seconds.

And after some practicing, I
told Mark my idea for the escape,

to have two stagehands
pulling down my pants with ropes,

exposing me to the public.

And since Mark was
clearly an expert on this stuff,

I was hoping to have him as
an official adviser on the escape.

I mean, what do you think?

Mmm, I don't know. It's
moving a little bit out of my field.

I guess I could say you're
a consultant on the escape.

(EXHALES)

Mmm, I don't know. I'll
have to get back to you.

Would you want that?

I'll have to get back to
you on that, think on it.

We'll just credit you as a
consultant on the escape.

- I appreciate that.
- It's no big deal.

- We'll just give it to you.
- Appreciate that...

- It's as good as done.
- I appreciate it, but what I'm saying is,

- I will get back to you.
- You'll get back to me about the credit?

- Yeah.
- Well, we'll just put it in anyways.

Just, we'll put it in
the credits of the show.

I never heard back from Mark, but
at least I knew how to pick handcuffs.

What I didn't know was
the legal requirement

for becoming a sex offender.

So I found an actual
California judge

that would agree to advise
me on the escape on camera,

the Honorable Anthony Filosa.

So if I don't escape
in 90 seconds,

I'll be exposed to some people.

What are "some people"?

Just, like, adults or something?

- I don't know.
- Children? Adults?

Is children better?

Interesting question.
Both could be offended.

More likely children, insofar
as that it's offensive, period.

So you're saying it's
better to use children?

I don't really think it's
my place to suggest it.

- Okay. Sure.
- All right?

Yeah, I really don't.

I took the judge's suggestion that
I should expose myself to children,

and on top of that, he was a
treasure trove of information

on how to become a sex offender.

There would have to be the
element of willfulness proven.

So would it help if,
right before I did it,

I said, "I'm doing this on
purpose to expose myself"?

Well, you just abandon
any precaution.

"You know, folks, something could
happen, you know, and if it does, so what?"

Something like that.

So it's like, you know, if this
goes wrong, I don't really care.

- Too bad, 'cause I...
- Too bad.

- I'm gonna...
- Too bad, I...

I'm gonna get off. It's
gonna make me horny.

Well, whatever.

The most troubling thing I
learned from him, though,

was that if anyone helped
me pull my pants down,

they could go to jail, too.

That person is as
guilty as you are.

- So I can't have any helpers.
- Right.

I didn't want to put anyone
at risk besides myself.

So if no human could do it,

I was gonna have to use a robot.

And the search took months, with
everyone from U.S. Defense companies

to NASA telling us the technology
didn't exist to have a robot

pull down someone's pants.
But I didn't give up, and eventually,

I found a company
that said they could do it.

So this is it.

This is a Kuka-robotics KR 15-2.

After John showed me the robot,

I explained to him specifically
what I needed it to do.

Then, once the pants are down,

I want it to come up here, hook
onto the boxers, and pull those down.

John suggested making
custom-designed pants

with loops that would make it
easier for the robot to remove them,

so I hired a tailor to make the
pants to John's specifications.

And over the week they were being made,
he informally became my practice partner.

I borrowed a pair
of his underwear

so we could pull down my pants
all the way without seeing my penis.

Ninety.

The pants being taken off
was definitely distracting,

but I was getting closer
to my 90-second goal.

Time, time, stop
it. What do I got?

Okay, 150.

And after getting an
hour or so of training in,

the completed pants were
packaged up and delivered to Reel FX

so the robot could
begin being programmed.

In the meantime, I
wanted to find out

the real consequences of
going to prison as a sex offender,

so I met up with Jimmy Murphy,
who's served over 11 years

for a variety of violent crimes.

I'll tell you this.

In there, it's the last thing
you want to be. It's the lowest.

What would happen
to me in there?

Well, you know, you'd
probably, uh, go...

Go to your cell, and you'd find a
couple of Snickers bars on your pillow.

- Oh, wow.
- And then...

So this doesn't
sound that bad at all.

No, you'd go in there, and
you'd say, "Oh, wow, what a gift."

You know, and you'd eat the stuff. Well,
someone's gonna come and say, "Hey.

"What happened to my chocolate?"

And you're gonna go,
"Oh, I, uh, I ate that."

And then they're gonna go,
"Well, you need to pay for that."

Yeah, how? I don't
have any money.

Well, then you might find your head
bouncing off somebody's belt buckle.

I don't want to do that.

No, of course you don't.

'Cause there's a lot
of belt buckles in there.

- Really?
- Oh, yeah, you'll grow tired.

They allow you to
wear belts in prison?

- No, it's a...
- So how would it work?

- They just give you the buckle?
- Well, no, I, uh...

- So there's no belt buckle.
- No, not really. I meant...

So my head wouldn't be
bouncing around any belt buckles.

In other words, you'd have
a (BLEEP) in your mouth.

I mean, it probably
wouldn't bounce, too,

because I would stop
when I got to the balls

before I got in.

I don't know how you do it.

Well, that's how I would.

There's nothing wrong with a
man giving another man oral sex

but I didn't want to do it and
visualizing it, made me question

if this entire stunt
was actually worth it.

My concerns were heightened
when I returned to Reel FX

to find the robot
acting unpredictably.

(CLANG)

To make matters
worse, I found out

that the robot whose precision
would determine my fate

- ran on Windows 95.
- It's as good...

You've gotta be kidding me. My
parents threw out their computer

that ran Windows 95,
like, seven years ago

because Minesweeper
wasn't working properly.

It's okay. 'Cause
what happens...

Honestly, like, my life, like...
This is moving within an...

- Right.
- Millimeters of my body.

I was mainly concerned
because on the day of the escape,

John would have to step
away from the controls

and let the program
run automatically.

But he assured me
the software would work.

So the robot was
transported to Elysian Park,

where a crew of over 50 people
worked for two straight days

to prepare for
tonight's historic stunt.

NARRATOR: Tonight, Nathan
Fielder risks the ultimate shame,

facing a heartless
robot that's only mission

is to expose his private parts.

This might be the most
dangerous stunt ever imagined.

- ANNOUNCER: Children watching...
- (CHILD SCREAMS)

- LAPD present...
- (SIREN WAILS)

And all in the dark of night.

You know, I've been
put on Earth for a reason,

and I believe this
is God's plan for me.

NARRATOR: The world is watching.

Will he inspire millions and
honor his home country of Canada

or end up behind bars
and risk deportation?

Never before attempted
in the history of television...

I mean, this is a
Comedy Central show.

I mean, this is... It's
crazy what we're doing.

NARRATOR: Will he
escape, or won't he?

Nathan Fielder takes on...

The Claw of Shame.

We're just moments
away from the escape.

And tonight, I
cannot risk failure.

But one thing I've learned
over the years is that

you can't be afraid of failing.

In fact, on my show,
when I help businesses,

I fail all the time.

And I'm normally shy
to show those moments,

but tonight, I'm going
to make an exception.

So let's take a look now at
some of my greatest failures.

One of my least popular ideas

was for a completely
germ-free hot dog stand.

At outdoor food carts,
it's easy for germs

to transfer from
money to your food,

so to completely eliminate this,
I designed a hands-free method

to apply condiments
to the wiener.

Also, there would be a second employee
whose only job is to handle the money.

- What are you doing with the wallet?
- We're doing a germ-free experience,

- so you don't handle your own money.
- Oh, really?

But people were a bit annoyed
with the money handling part.

- Can I have my wallet back?
- And the hands-free onion dispenser

proved to be
problematic as well.

So you have to...
One up, one down.

When it hits the table,
the onions will fall.

And drop it. Keep dropping
it. Up and down, drop it.

Fast.

Oops.

- Oh.
- Ugh.

This is not gonna work.
It's not gonna work.

That's nothing to do with the contraption.
If you drop a hot dog, you drop a hot dog.

The public just wasn't ready for
the germ-free hot dog experience,

so I laid the concept to rest.

Next, I had an idea for a tearless way
to tell a child that their pet has died,

to be an up-sell service
for an animal hospital.

The concept was to make a
video of the pet while it's still alive,

telling the child it's
in animal heaven now.

I hired the only voice actor

that responded to my
Craigslist ad to be the dog.

But when we showed
it to the owner's child...

(GENTLE HARP MUSIC PLAYING)

(IN HEAVY FOREIGN
ACCENT) Oh, it's me, Madi.

I'm in heaven now.

So sorry I died.

I miss you so much.

I'm happy here, so
I'm not coming home.

- No, she doesn't.
- No.

What... Aw.

It's okay.

He hated his dog's voice.
Another flubbed idea.

And lastly, my favorite ideas
don't just help with business.

They're good for the
community as well.

So I approached a bar
with an innovative way

to stop drunks from
getting behind the wheel.

The concept was to have a street
magician stationed outside the bar,

performing a magic trick that allows him
to secretly test the blood alcohol levels

of patrons as they leave.

And with my background in
magic, I offered to test it out.

For my final trick, I'm
going to need your keys.

- My keys?
- Yes.

Great. Give the wand a blow.

Okay, a little bit
harder, right into the top.

Okay, and you are
over the legal limit.

- Okay.
- Blood alcohol.

- So your keys are gone.
- Oh!

And I cannot give
them back to you.

- Okay.
- Sorry.

But that's when I realized
the flaw in my idea.

If I held on to his
keys and he took a cab,

the guy couldn't get
into his apartment.

- Could I get my keys, please?
- I can't, because you're drunk.

Please give me my keys.

And the only solution at that
point was to drive him home.

You live far.

I know I do.

Also, once I got him home,

I realized I couldn't
just give him his keys

until he was asleep, or else
he might go out and drive again.

You need to see me sleeping?

I need to see you fall asleep
before I leave your keys,

or else you might take
them and go out again.

You don't brush your
teeth before bed?

Usually not. I usually brush
my teeth in the morning.

- Really?
- Yep. I know it's kind of gross,

but nobody else is really paying
attention to the way my breath smells.

So I had to put him to bed and
make sure he went to sleep...

And if that looking
glass gets broke

Mama's gonna
get you a billy goat

Before I left his keys.

So, as you can see, even the
greatest minds fail sometimes.

Ohh!

But failing tonight
is not an option.

Besides the risk to me,
there are ten innocent children

participating in tonight's event,
and I don't take that lightly.

So earlier today, I
spoke with their parents

to assure them they had
nothing to worry about.

Hey, guys. How's everyone doing?

- Great, thank you.
- Good.

So, before we begin, I just
wanted to give you some assurance.

Uh, we're gonna be blurring all
your faces, so you don't have to worry

about, you know,
co-workers being like,

"Why did you let your
kid do that for $100?"

You know, or questions like that from,
you know, the community or anything.

You don't have to
worry about that.

Okay, great. Wish me luck.

Okay.

So I now have on the
custom-made pants

that the robot will be removing.

Um, you know, we're gonna give these kids
a bit of a bathroom break before I begin,

but when we return,
it will be the escape.

All right, so we're
about ready to begin.

Everyone has been cleared
out of the escape area

Besides the necessary people.

Officer Billy Smalling is here,

obviously the children,
and Judge Anthony Filosa

to do some final checks.

I'm now going to
hand over the reins

to Matt "Money" Smith,
national sportscaster,

who'll be calling the event.
Matt, thanks for doing this.

Well, thanks for
having me, Nathan.

And do you have
any questions for me?

Well, I think the obvious
one is, are you doing this?

- You know, for the show and stuff.
- Yeah.

Well, I just get the
sense that perhaps...

I mean, you know this
is controversial, right?

Yeah, yeah. Yeah.

- Okay. Good luck.
- All right.

- All right.
- Thanks, Matt.

And with that, the escape
is just moments away,

so let's learn a little more
about Nathan Fielder.

Nathan was born in 1983,

the only son of two
Canadian civil servants,

Eric and Deborah.

Which brings us to tonight.

And we are minutes
away from the big escape,

and right now, it looks
like Nathan is having

some final words with the
Honorable Judge Filosa,

so let's listen in.

So does everything look
good in terms of the setup

for an indecent
exposure conviction if I...

If I fail tonight to escape?

Uh, apparently it does. Um...

Good. That's all I needed
to know. Thank you.

And, Officer Smalling...

MATT: And now Nathan's
stepping over to Officer Smalling,

and he is going to go ahead
and inspect those handcuffs

and make sure they
are up to standard.

Double-locked... (CLEARS THROAT)

Smith & Wesson police handcuffs,

just like we were issued
in the police academy.

Okay, great, and
here is the key.

MATT: Well, everything
seems to be in order,

and now Nathan is
stepping over to a laptop,

where his mom and dad
are standing by via Skype.

And they don't know what
Nathan has planned tonight.

- Hi, guys.
- But he wanted

to hear their voices before
stepping to the stage.

I don't know if you can hear me,

But, uh, I'm about to
do something very risky,

um, so the next
time I talk to you

might be behind
bulletproof glass.

- Oh, wow.
- Why?

I can't really get into it
right now. I don't have time.

But I just want to say
that I love you guys.

And, you know,
wish me luck, okay?

Well, Nathan, what are
you... What are you...

What's going on?

You guys? Can you hear me?

Hello?

MATT: Well, apparently a lack
of an Internet connection up here.

Don't know whether or not
they heard that message.

But heartfelt, nonetheless.

And it's time now for Nathan
to make his way to the stage.

You know, you
wonder what's going on

in Nathan's mind right now and if
any amount of preparation is enough...

- All right.
- For the pressure

that he's facing here tonight.

Nathan now making
his way into position.

You can see Officer
Smalling locking him

into that loop, and that
is a solid steel frame.

Put this around my wrist.

MATT: Certainly an adorable
group of kids brought in tonight.

Certainly hope the
night doesn't end

with them seeing a man
expose himself to them.

Well, now that Nathan's locked in,
the crew gonna do one last look-over,

so we'll step away for a commercial,
and when we return, the escape.

All right, we're back, and
this is it. The stage is set.

Nathan has 90 seconds to free himself
from those cuffs and hit that red button

to his right.

The button is a kill switch. It
is the only thing that can stop

the programmed
motion of the robot

from taking off Nathan's
pants in front of these kids.

And now he will deliver the
line given to him by Judge Filosa.

"Something might happen
here, and if it does, so what?"

And with that, he has
established willful intent.

So if he exposes
himself tonight,

in the eyes of the law, it will
not be considered an accident.

Ready!

WOMAN: Go!

MATT: And the 90-second clock
has started. There's they robot.

Nathan appears as though
he's pulled a pick from his hair.

And that's what he's working
on those handcuffs with.

But we are 80 seconds away
from a lifetime of scorn for Nathan.

Now the robot going to
that... That fly. The fly is down.

And while he's working
on the handcuffs,

the robot continues
to work on the pants.

Loop on the button now
undone. We're under 60 seconds.

And the robot is
almost halfway home.

You see him. He's exposed
the fifth loop on the underpants.

The kids are laughing but I
can assure you, Nathan is not.

Under 50 seconds, and
he's dropped the pick.

Did it catch...

It looks like it's caught on his clothing,
and now he's trying to retrieve it,

and he's got it. Got it with
his... What a close call,

as he retrieves the
pick with his tongue.

Had that fallen to the ground,
it would have been all over.

Next is going to be
those loop on his right hip.

This is getting tight here.

The robot now has
both pant legs down,

is about to secure the
loop on the underpants,

and Nathan's still working on those
cuffs. We are just 20 seconds away.

Nathan working those handcuffs.

It looks like, with the pants down, the
robot's going for that underwear loop.

Nathan has not broken free.
We're under ten seconds.

The robot is pulling down.

We have just a couple of seconds
left. Oh, no, we are seeing pubic hair.

(BUZZER) But he has escaped.

Nathan Fielder has
managed to escape

and save himself from
a lifetime of shame.

There's the replay.

The moment where he
was able to pick the cuffs,

hit the button just in time.

And you can see
the relief on his face.

Well, there you see it.
He took on great risk,

and now this, his reward.

Congratulations from
the judge and officer.

- Good job.
- Thank you.

Um, so the robot

pulled his pants down.

But he won. (GIGGLES) So...

It was really funny. I really
wanted his pants to fall down

'cause it's hilarious.

I would have been
sort of offended

if his underwear fell down,

but not that much.

He pressed the button,
and then it didn't fall down.

I was like, "Yes!"

I was like, "Hallelujah."

Okay, before you guys...
Before you guys leave,

remember to always take
big risks and believe in yourself

and follow your
dreams, just like I did.

I dre... Well, yeah, I
did. It was a dream of...

(LAUGHING AND CLAMORING)

You kind of talked
over my speech.

- Okay. Fine.
- Let's go. Let's go.

I made so many
new friends up there.

However, I think
about you all the time.

Good bye. I love you.

I wish I could do more for you.