All language subtitles for Nathan For You S01E03 Clothing Store Restaurant.DVDRip.HI.en.COMCNTL

Well, not to be too forward,

but I would love to
be included in your will.

I don't know.

My name is Nathan Fielder,

and I graduated from one of
Canada's top business schools

with really good grades.

Now, I'm using my knowledge

to help struggling
small business owners

make it in this
competitive world.

This is Nathan For You.

Fashion is a
multi-billion-dollar industry,

but sadly, our obsession
with clothing often means

that people will go
as far as stealing

just to get their hands
on that hot new style.

And no one knows this
better than Gabrielle Romero,

manager of Hardwear Clothing
in Larchmont Village, California.

Oftentimes when shoplifting,
they come in teams.

Usually more than one person,
usually about three people.

NATHAN: It's the real dark
side of running a clothing store,

but often in business,
a negative like this

can actually be
turned into a positive.

And that's why I'm here.

What are some of the
tricks people do to steal stuff?

- Um, definitely, they travel in packs.
- Sorry, you were looking at my hat.

- Oh, it's okay.
- Oh, okay. Is it...

Is it okay... Is it weird, or...

- No. Your hat?
- I don't normally wear...

No, it looks good.

- This type of hat.
- I like it.

- Oh, it's okay. I don't have to wear it.
- Okay.

- All right.
- Better?

Sorry, yeah. So what were
you saying about shoplifting?

I don't remember. It happens.

But maybe shoplifting
isn't such a bad thing.

You see, in fashion, good-looking
people are trendsetters.

So rather than trying
to stop all shoplifters,

Hardwear can benefit by
letting attractive thieves go free,

because if attractive
people wear it,

their less attractive
friends will come and buy it.

The plan, allow attractive
people to shoplift.

Oh!

Okay.

What do you think?

So we just wait for an
attractive person to come in?

Do I have to think they're
attractive? Who's the judge?

Well, that's what
we have to decide.

Okay. Okay.

I needed to prove to
Gabrielle that this would work,

so first, I had
her and her staff

each come up with a list of
traits that they find attractive.

Then later, I compiled all
the traits into a master list.

Now, I needed someone to
enforce it, so I hired a security guard.

- Simon?
- Hi, good to meet you.

- Thanks for coming out.
- Okay.

So we're doing this thing here

where we're allowing
people to shoplift one item,

but only if they're attractive.

- Okay.
- So the staff and I

came up with a list
of, uh, some traits

- that qualify a person as attractive.
- Right.

So, basically, if someone
meets all these traits,

you know, they're allowed to shoplift.
Otherwise, you have to stop them.

- Okay.
- Okay.

You know, obviously, things
like "big penis" just apply to men.

Right.

With everything in place,

we were ready to open
our doors to customers.

The normal traffic
was coming in,

but I realized that people
were missing the sign out front.

So just to be safe, I
went up to each person

and told them
about the promotion.

We're doing a special
promotion today

where attractive people
are allowed to steal one item.

To shoplift one item.

You work here?

- I'm representing the business.
- Why would you tell me to steal something?

- It's a special promotion.
- Okay.

It was working great, as several
women were shoplifting items.

But according to Simon,

the first few women
just didn't make the cut.

She didn't pay for the item.

It was strange because
these women were attractive.

But then I began to suspect
that our security guard

only cared about one thing.

- Have a good day.
- Thank you, you too.

What did you think of her?

She was, uh, she
was rather pretty.

- What did you like about her the most?
- Uh, her figure.

She had, you know,
a pretty good build.

- Oh. Do you like that?
- Yes.

Wait, what do you like?

Um, you know, the way her...

The way her chest was.

Is that what you were
looking at the most?

Um, yeah. And also she was...

Her face was sort of pretty,

but, you know, not,
like, totally pretty.

- The part you liked was...
- Yeah.

- It was... Yeah.
- Yeah.

Big boobs wasn't on the list. And
clearly, Simon had an obsession.

And after stopping several more
attractive women with modest chests...

You have to... You have
to pay for all your items.

- Okay.
- I had to intervene.

Let's say there's no list.
You just see her on the street.

What do you think of her?

She is somewhat pretty,
but she could be prettier.

And what would
make her prettier?

Uh, to let her hair
down and, you know...

- Maybe smile...
- And what was that?

You did that after. To let
her hair down and what?

"And, you know..."

I had to take Simon aside.

So you're saying double-D
breasts are essential for you?

It's gotta be... It's
gotta be substantial.

All right.

All right, well, stick to
the list then, for now.

All right, I'll
stick to the list.

- Thanks.
- Yeah.

With Simon back on track, we
had a lot of women shoplifting.

But that doesn't mean anything

unless their friends are
actually coming in to buy the stuff.

So, to be sure this
was happening,

a week later, I used the phone
number on the appearance release

to contact one of the most
attractive shoplifters of the day

to get proof that
the concept worked.

Hi, Natalie. Uh,

You shoplifted an item
from Hardwear, uh, last week.

Is that correct?

Yes, yes, you're allowed.
You're not in trouble.

After some convincing,
she agreed to meet with me.

I knew that if it didn't work with
her, it wouldn't work with anyone.

Who are those guys?

Oh, my friends. My fiancé
and the guy I'm staying with.

Oh, okay. Thanks for coming out.

So what was it
that you shoplifted?

A little black dress, short
in the front, long in the back,

with a white skull on it.

- Okay.
- Yeah.

Has any of your
friends seen you in it?

Yeah, these guys
have, but none of my...

- Any girls?
- No.

- No girls.
- No, no girls.

(SIGHS) All right, well,

you have to convince a friend
to buy something from there.

Oh, (STUTTERS)
Nobody said that to me.

Well, you kind of
have to. You know, I...

I'd hate to show the police
that footage of you stealing.

Okay, well, I can try,

and if she doesn't
want to buy anything,

I'll give you the dress back.

Hey, Julie, how are you?

- I'm a nice guy.
- I've gotta show you

this really cute little outfit.

Natalie's friend agreed
to meet her at Hardwear.

But just to guarantee it
would work, before she arrived,

I gave her a hidden earpiece
so I could tell her what to say.

Hot dog.

- Got it.
- What'd I say?

- Hot dog.
- All right, good.

- Hi.
- Hi, how are you?

Mwah. Good, thanks.

Do you like it?

- Yeah, I love it.
- Nice.

GABRIELLE: Hi, ladies.

Hello.

Ask her if she
likes wearing skulls.

Do you like skulls?

- Yeah, I love skulls.
- You do?

- Yeah.
- Everyone's wearing skulls.

Everyone's wearing skulls.

We must find something
with skulls on it for you.

These were all designed
by Geraldo Rivera.

These were all designed
by Geraldo Rivera.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, they're beautiful.

Mmm, that's beautiful.

Make her buy the shirt.

I think you should buy it now.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

GABRIELLE: $79.33.

And with those
few little words...

Thank you so much.

The strength of my
concept was undeniable.

GABRIELLE: See
you later. Thank you.

And later that day, I
paid Gabrielle a visit

to accept my
well-deserved praise.

How's business?

Uh, business is good.

- Good.
- Yeah.

So, just wondering,
has anyone, uh, come in

because of an item their
friend shoplifted or anything?

Yeah, actually, one
girl did come back.

- Really?
- Yeah, she brought a friend.

- Oh, my God. Huh.
- Yeah, yeah.

Her friend bought a top.

- So it worked.
- I mean, it's just one.

- Huh.
- But it's not guaranteed

- to continually work.
- Huh.

But it did work.

Yeah, it worked with
the one, like I said.

- Huh.
- But it just seems like

kind of a risk, more than...

- Hmm.
- Mmm-hmm.

Huh.

- All right, um...
- It was nice meeting you.

- Good luck...
- Thank you.

- With your business, Gabrielle.
- Thank you.

- I wish you the best of luck.
- Thank you.

- Okay.
- See you later.

Whoop.

From doing this show, one of the
most common questions I get is,

"How do you come
up with your ideas?"

The answer is
simple... Research.

When I want to get a
sneak peek at a business,

I'll often go ahead
of time in disguise.

This allows me to take a quick
look at how the place is run

and helps me come up with ideas.

But if I want to
observe a business

for a longer period of time
without arousing suspicion,

I'll use The Librarian's Quest.

Designed to look like a
boring '80s arcade game,

the body has been
completely gutted out

and rebuilt to fit a
man of my proportions.

To get inside the business,

I have my crew say they're a moving
company whose truck broke down.

Hey, do you mind if we just
keep this here for a few minutes?

Our truck broke down.

More often than not, store employees
will agree to let them leave the game,

allowing me to secretly
observe how the business is run

when they think
no one is watching.

Because I'm often in
there for long stretches,

the game's power cord
is conveniently a straw,

which enables my crew
to discreetly drop off drinks

to keep me hydrated.

And with an exorbitant
price and boring moves,

I can also feel safe that
no one will try to play it.

Then, when I've seen enough, my
crew comes back and retrieves me.

- Thanks again.
- WOMAN: Oh, no problem.

- Bye.
- Thanks.

It may seem like a long
way to go just for research,

but it was this exact
method that helped me

come up with my
idea for Billy's Deli.

Smack-dab in the middle
of Glendale, California,

restaurateur Gloria Pike is sick
and tired of her diner being empty.

The economy or something
affecting a little bit...

But little bit, kind of slow.

Prior to my visit, I used the
arcade game to observe Billy's Deli.

Surprisingly, I saw nothing
wrong with the business or the food.

(SLURPING)

But after being in there for
so long, I really had to go pee,

and it was only once I
tried to use the bathroom

at some of the
neighboring businesses...

Hey, do you guys have
a bathroom I could use?

That I realized there was a
huge opportunity for Billy's.

So while I was hiding in the arcade
game, I noticed that you guys have a strict

"Bathrooms for
customers only" policy.

- Mmm-hmm.
- And for that,

I congratulate you.

- Thank you.
- Congratulations...

on losing money.

Losing money?

The plan, an "anyone can
use our bathroom" policy.

In an area where bathrooms are
scarce, Billy's has an opportunity

to attract a slew of bathroom-goers
that can then be converted to customers.

Once they use the bathroom,
then we sell them on eating here.

Mmm-hmm.

You guys could become
the neighborhood toilet.

Yeah, I guess it's good idea.

And where better
to market to them

than where we have their
complete, undivided attention?

We put together a short
commercial featuring Gloria,

and once it was done, I
installed motion-activated monitors

in every bathroom
stall and urinal at Billy's.

With the ad in place, it was
time to start spreading the word

that Billy's bathrooms
were for everyone.

The window signs would
work great for passers-by,

but I also wanted to spread awareness
to other businesses in the area.

So if you have any customers
that need to use the bathroom,

you can send them to
Billy's down the block.

Oh, okay.

Now I was ready
to convince people

who came for the
bathroom to stay for the food.

Hi, there. Are you here
to use the bathroom?

- Oh, to eat? Okay.
- Yeah.

Are you here to
use the bathroom?

Here to eat.

- Three?
- Yes.

For the bathroom or for a table?

Okay, um, yeah,
she can help you.

At first, it was looking like
my signs weren't working,

but then the bathroom
crowd started to arrive.

Hi.

- For the restroom?
- Yeah.

Yes, it's right at the
back. Thank you so much.

- Okay.
- They were about to see our commercial,

and I wanted to show
Gloria their reactions.

So it's not entirely legal,

but we set up a couple hidden
cameras inside the bathroom.

I'll just need to get
people to sign a release

consenting to the use of
the footage once they get out,

which I don't foresee
being an issue.

GLORIA: Hello, how are you?

Welcome to Billy's.
Please enjoy this message.

- (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
- You may not be a customer,

but at Billy's, you're still
welcome to use the bathroom.

And while you're
doing your thing,

I'd like to talk to you
a bit about our thing...

Making delicious food.

Just look at these fine dishes. You
can almost smell the quality food,

made from the finest
ingredients available,

like our famous pastrami
sandwich, fresh Cobb salad,

or our rich homemade chili.

Mmm-mmm, look at that chili.

People come from all over
the world to eat at Billy's.

So why not stick
around for a minute?

You'll be glad you did.

Billy's Deli, your
neighborhood toilet.

Now I needed to see if
the commercial did its job.

Are you hungry?

Uh, a little bit.

- So we have a full menu.
- Yeah.

You can look at that.

Also, uh, we need
you to sign, uh,

if you would, an
appearance release.

We were filming you in the
bathroom with a hidden camera...

- Oh, really?
- To show the customer experience.

Which part of me
was being filmed?

Just you watching the video.

Oh, okay, because I'm using the restroom.
So I'm wondering what part of it...

- Yeah, your private parts won't be shown.
- Oh, okay.

You should have told me that you
guys are going to film. You didn't.

Now you're gonna
have to delete this thing.

And I don't care whatever you
want to use. Do you understand that?

The important thing
is, I just want to know...

That's the important
thing for me.

What are you gonna eat
today at Billy's, because...

And it's a... You're playing really
a dangerous game right now.

Okay, I'm sorry.

We were filming you while
you were using the bathroom.

Oh, okay.

So we need to,
uh, get you to sign

this release, so we can use
the footage on national television.

- Oh.
- If that's okay with you.

- Sure.
- Is that okay?

- Okay, yeah, sure.
- Okay, thanks so much.

I mean, it basically says
we can do anything we want

with the footage and
use it for anything.

- Oh, okay, right.
- Okay.

For the most part, The
in-bathroom filming wasn't a problem,

and people were happy
to sign the release.

And I was so excited to
show Gloria my results.

This man,

you can see him in the bathroom.

- Mmm-hmm.
- Now look over there.

- Uh-huh.
- He's eating.

GLORIA: Oh, yeah.

- See this man here?
- This man, mmm-hmm.

- He's at the urinal.
- Mmm-hmm.

He's right there.

- Uh-huh.
- He's eating a meal.

- Yes, mmm-hmm.
- Pretty amazing.

- Uh-huh, that's good.
- My idea was a success.

Everything good?
Up to your standards?

Good.

And seeing that smile on Gloria's
face made it all worth it for me.

Well, how do you
feel about everything?

I mean, we've worked together
so much this week, right?

- Uh-huh, yes.
- And in a way,

you probably see me as a son.

I mean, we're
kind of like family.

I'm like your son.

- Yes, it's like that.
- Yeah, that's right.

- Yes.
- Yes.

Well, not to be too forward,

but I would love to
be included in your will.

I don't know.

- You think it's a possibility that you...
- Um...

Your daughter? Of course,
she has to come first.

She is starting. She's young.

- Maybe? You'll think about it?
- Yeah, yes.

Okay, I'll give you
some time to think.

- I don't want to pressure you.
- Okay.

- I'm very excited.
- Okay.

- I mean, I might be the new owner.
- I know.

I was so excited, and I
couldn't wait to find out

if I'd be included
in Gloria's will.

Earlier tonight, I showed you
how I research businesses,

a process that involves a
lot of waiting and watching.

It can be kind of tedious, so I'd
been thinking of getting someone

to help me out, and I
recently met someone

who basically watches
businesses for a living.

So I called Simon into my office

to see if he'd be willing
to take on a second job.

I'm looking for someone to help out
with some of the researching tasks...

- Oh, okay.
- Of my show.

- Do you think that's your skill set?
- Uh, yes.

Now, I do know you have a vice.

- Mmm-hmm.
- Right?

Yeah.

Women with...

With, uh, (STUTTERS)
Large chests, yeah.

- I mean, you love that.
- Right.

I mean, how much?

Um, just... I would
say that I dream about it

or think about it, you know,
like, almost every day of the week.

What do you think about?

I just think about, like,
fondling or touching. Yeah.

So if I'm gonna
give you this job,

I need to know that
that's not going to be...

You're not gonna let
yourself get distracted by that.

No, I won't.

- Okay, great.
- Okay. Cool.

- Let's do it.
- Thanks, Nathan.

Thanks, Simon.

I told Simon that I wanted him
to covertly research a business

I was planning on
helping for my show.

All right, let's lock it up.

What Simon didn't know
is that this was a test.

- (BLEEP)
- Oh, you okay?

- Sorry.
- I'm all right.

I had a local convenience
store owner in on it,

so I could observe Simon
and see what he would do.

Observe the business.

Look for any problems
or anything that you see.

- Right.
- You got it?

- I got it.
- Okay, thank you.

Simon thought I was just
dropping him off and leaving,

but really, I had a plan to
covertly re-enter the store

and watch my test unfold.

I never really use it because
the arcade is more comfortable,

but this custom-made cigar store
Indian has a hollowed-out interior

just big enough to fit my body.

(DRAMATIC SPAGHETTI
WESTERN MUSIC PLAYING)

After 30 minutes in the arcade,
he seemed to be doing great.

But I wanted to test Simon's
focus with a true distraction,

a pair of his
coveted double D's.

I couldn't blame
Simon for taking a peek.

But I was pleased he
quickly got back to his duties

without blowing his
cover or masturbating.

But I had one
more test in store.

I needed to know that
Simon wouldn't blow his cover

even in the face of death.

I had one more test
of Simon's loyalty,

a life-or-death scenario planned
out with a professional actor.

The Librarian's Quest? I been
looking for one of those things.

- Oh, you have?
- How much you want for it?

Well, could I have it?

Yeah? (CHUCKLES)

You know, it's a
little big for my car,

so I might have
to cut it in half.

Do you happen to have a saw?

There you go.

(LAUGHING) Yeah.

- That'll work. Thanks.
- You're welcome.

Geez.

Time to cut this baby in half.

Uh-huh.

(BLADE WHIRRING)

(SAW GRINDING)

(WHISTLE BLOWS)

(WHISTLING CONTINUES)

Thank you.

Thank you.

- Thank you, Don.
- (CHUCKLES) Yeah, my pleasure, man.

All right, thanks.
All right, Simon?

- Yeah.
- How you doing in there?

- I'm okay.
- All right.

- That was a test, and you passed.
- Okay.

Simon did amazing.

Any other man under that
circumstance would've blown his cover.

You're probably
nervous right now.

- Oh.
- You probably need a hug.

- Yeah.
- You okay?

(STUTTERING) It was a little...

It was a little nerve-wracking,
but yeah, I'm okay.

- Well, you did great, man.
- Okay.

- Congrats.
- Cool. Yeah.

All right.

I was truly impressed by Simon,

and it felt good knowing I
had someone I could count on.

Unfortunately, I couldn't
say the same for Gloria,

as she chose not to
include me in her will.

But unlike Gloria, I never
forget to reward those

that help me out.

Because you were so great,

I have a surprise for you.

- Oh.
- Yeah.

Okay.

- I want to introduce you to someone.
- Okay.

But you have to promise
me to be a gentleman.

- Okay.
- Okay?

Yes.

Trisha.

- Hi.
- Hi.

(GIGGLES)

- How are you?
- Good. Good.

- Hi, nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you, too.

- (GIGGLES)
- Very nice to meet you.

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

Wow.

Hey.

Okay.

I was so happy for Simon.

But while I was watching
him connect with Trisha,

I couldn't help but feel jealous

because I wanted that same
connection in my own life.

Oh, well. More
businesses next week.

Most of the girls I've been
with haven't been that large.

Have you ever talked about asking
them to get implants or anything?

If we were watching TV and
there was a TV commercial,

like, for implants, I would say,
"Hey, look at that," you know.

"That looks pretty good."

- And did they ever do it?
- No.