All language subtitles for Mapp & Lucia Season 2, Episode 5 « Au Reservoir » (itv 1986 UK) (ENG SUB ENG).en

(gentle music)

(crowd chattering)

- Name please?

- The mayor of Tilling.

- Sorry ma'am but

no such name here,

and Miss Braceley has
given strict instructions.

- Pilsen, G Mister and Misses.

- Oh oh oh yeah, oh yes sir, that's right.

- Not at all, thank you so much.

(crowd clapping)

(tapping)

(intense orchestral music)

(singing in a foreign language)

- How will I remember

Cortese playing a tourist at Rissam.

Tragic splendor.

- I thought you called
it hideous modern stuff.

- I think he took it a shade faster.

That was when he caught us out

with our Italian wasn't it?

- Shh.

(singing in a foreign language)

-[Woman] Thank you.

- Shh.

- Your grace.

(singing in a foreign language)

(crowd clapping)

- Please, allow us to
introduce ourselves your grace

we are old friends of Olga's.

- Oh yes.

How nice.

- The mayor of Tilling.

- Oh yes.

How nice.

- A few years ago my

husband and I heard our beloved Olga

skim through part of the opera.

- Really, how nice.

- With Senor Cortese at the piano.

- Oh.

- At my house in Rissam.

- How nice.

Almost

edible.

(woman laughing)

(singing in a foreign language)

(man shouting)

(crowd clapping)

- Brava, brava!

Brava!

- But Georgie beard what does it mean?

At least your Lucia
hasn't divorced you yet.

(both laughing)

Did you like the opera?

I thought I sang superbly, Vincenzo.

- Ah, Senora Braceley

welcome back.

- I bet you've given us a lousy table.

- Senora for you the best in the room.

- What rot, lead on Vincenzo.

How I love being in
stuffy old London again.

Come on Georgie I'm dying for a drink.

Hello.

Thank you.

(crowd clapping)

Hello Peter lovely to see you

come on Georgie this way.

(woman laughing)

Georgie next to me.

Georgie, there darling yes.

You sit there darling.

I've ordered lunch like it or lump it.

Cortese can't lunch but
he may join us later.

- Oh that is good news.

(woman laughing)

Did you see that mocava nearly hit him?

- Oh I did.

(both laughing)

- Cenzo, vino vino.

And where's mine?

- Oh, a risk.

(both laughing)

- That's better that's bitter.

My doctor warned me

either give up drinking beer

or give up singing I refuse to do either.

We won't wait for the Duchess of Sheffield

she'll probably arrive for tea time.

- Very well Senora.

- Did she stare at your beard Georgie?

I bet she did, she's obsessed with beards.

I expect Freud has an explanation.

- Thank you.

- Come on, tuck in.

(laughing)

Oh Georgie.

- Oh Olga.

- There was a time you know

when I thought that Georgie was after me.

(laughing)

- Pinch of salt you
take everything she says

with a pinch of salt.

- I'm off to Rissam at the weekend

you and Georgie must join me.

- Oh oh.

- Too sweet are you but

impossible I'm afraid.

Bar of business on Monday.

- Oh too bad you'll
come won't you Georgie?

Oh we'll have a wonderful time

I'd adore to see you there again.

-[Georgie] So excited.

- Open your mouth, close your eyes

and see what heaven will send you.

(laughing)

Here you are.

- Yes, why, I'm not late am I?

- Not more than usual darling.

Anyhow you've got the right day.

You know Lucia and Georgie don't you?

(laughing)

- No, I don't think I do.

- Come on you were all
together in my box last night.

- Really?

Really?

How interesting.

(all laughing)

- The mayor of Tilling.

- The Duchess of Sheffield.

(speaking in a foreign language)

-[Olga] Well we've more or less finished

I suppose you want to start.

- Oh rather.

I say,

dress crab, black coffee,

lots of it.

- It is already prepared your grace.

- Good.

- Cortese's looking in.

- Of course.

Last night.

-[Olga] Yes.

- Oh Olga, you were in
full flow weren't you?

- I bet you were asleep.

- What nonsense.

Only when I listen to music

total oblivion seizes my.

- Asleep.

- Carried away, I don't know whether

I'm on my head or my heels.

- If you were carried away dear

you'd be on your back.

(all laughing)

Maestro.

(yelling in a foreign language)

- The Duchess of Sheffield.

There is the crab and black coffee

as usual eh?

(speaking in a foreign language)

Good.

Ah and this is,

no no no don't tell me no

this is the lady at the prism

who first heard my humble
efforts of Lacrazia.

Senora--

- Pull up a chair Cortese
and stop being charming.

- Oh, Mister--

- Oh my name is Pilsen.

- He's the mayor of Tilling.

- Well actually he's not.

- What's the matter with her?

Sit down darling.

(speaking in a foreign language)

- Cheers upon cheers for my singing.

- Anybody can sing my music.

(speaking in a foreign language)

- You and Dorothea must
drive down for the weekend,

Georgie's coming.

- Georgie?

- Next to me Georgie Pilsen.

- He's the mayor of Tilling.

- We were just good friends

but we did everything together.

And then when I was on my world tour

he slipped the leash

and married that enchanting
lady sitting there.

- Pinch of salt.

- Where do you want it?

(speaking in a foreign language)

- Georgie, the time, our train.

Super two.

- Oh must you?

- Yes a poor

hard work mayor has to get back

to the call of duty.

- Oh bye bye sorry you
can't make the weekend.

I shall have to make due with Georgie.

- Quite.

-[Cortese] Goodbye.

- Arrivederci, maestro.

-[Cortese] Arrivederci.

- Goodbye your grace.

- Fishy.

- Your grace it's been a pleasure.

Goodbye.

- What a dear little beard.

- Ciao.

- Why do we have to leave so early

I was enjoying myself.

- Yes dear I could see that.

- Well now we'll just be kicking our heels

at the station won't we?

- You forget that we
have to pick up Foljambe

and our luggage at the hotel.

- You forget we've already arranged

to meet Foljambe with
the luggage at Victoria.

- Oh, Georgie,

how stupid of me.

Hmm.

I suppose we can't go back in.

- Of course we can't.

- Please Georgie,

Georgie,

forgive me.

- Oh of course.

- I tell you what,

as a penance, I shall put
off my council meeting

on Monday, and go with
you to Rissam after all.

- Oh, good.

(calm orchestral music)

(singing in a foreign language)

Uno memento.

(singing in a foreign language)

Oh morning Foljambe.

- Good morning sir.

There's a picture this morning sir

that'll make you jump.

- Oh The Alley, thank you.

- Middle page.

- Middle page.

- Oh what'll happen?

- Oh.

Well who knows?

- I'll draw your bath sir.

- That was quick.

-[Grosvenor] No, it's Grosvenor sir.

Your worship thought you might like to see

the picture, page, and the time sir.

And could you spare the Daily Mirror

if it's got it in?

- Oh yes of course.

I can't quite reach your

wicking about.

-[Grosvenor] Sorry sir.

- This way, there we are, got that thanks.

Here's The Daily Mirror.

-[Grosvenor] Oh thank you sir.

- Thank you Grosvenor.

(man humming)

- Oh matre,

monstrous isn't it?

I'm horrified.

- Horrified?

- I shall write to Elizabeth
extending my sympathy.

I never have thought it of Irene.

- Oh no no no don't bother, don't bother.

Gary hasn't been backed
up like this for years

to be the centerpiece of the
picture of the year, wonderful.

- What a red letter day.

Queen Irene suddenly becoming worldwide

into a humble little man is equally so.

Benji I heard it's in
the Daily Telegraph too

pop in and get a copy.

- Righto.

- Diva Sweet what a red
letter day, nose pop?

- I say nothing like it.

The Royal Academy and the opera house,

and the Duchess of Sheffield there too.

- Oh, our visit to the opera house

reported in the newspapers as well was it?

The Duchess was late, I was
rather cross I'm afraid.

- Mercy considered all hope

I hope you told her so.

- What was the opera like?

- Superb, a little modern
for my classical tastes

but a very very great work.

- And then you all went out to supper.

- Oh no no no no no, music
takes too much out of me

just back to the hotel and

so to bed as peep's has it.

- Anything exciting yesterday?

- Oh dear Olga insisted that we take

luncheon with her at the Carlton.

Cortese was there, oh I
must explain he was the

composer Italian with

all the charm and
vivaciousness of the south.

- So you had a good chat
to him in Italian dear?

- Alas no.

- What a shame.

- The Duchess turned up late.

A positive obsession with her

but fortunately in time for a little chat

before we had to rush off for our train.

- Good morning to the toast of Tilling.

- The toast is surely to quaint Irene.

- Happens to talk to me
today queen of my heart.

- Happens to talk to any of us dear.

- Oh yes indeed.

- My dear how wonderful

in all the newspapers.

- You always knew I was a
clever little thing didn't you?

- Yes dear but still

the Royal Academy,

all of us a wee bit surprised perhaps.

- But malto solicitations.

- Malto balto capitano,
you were always most kind

about my work.

- Oh stop it.

- Not plus but kind.

- We were wondering weren't we Georgie

whether you would be
able to what's the word

execute a portrait of me?

- Were we?

- You mean in Merrill finery and biblows?

- Something symbolic.

Of course I won't be able
to sit for you immediately.

- Well hell you don't
have to sit for me at all

if it's something symbolic you want

I know you off by heart,
I can see it already.

Oodle too.

(laughing)

- You have my Nerro box
labeled housing, Hagrid?

- Yes ma'am.

- Then, it's Miss
Braceley's house in Rissam.

- The people who've got your house Lucia

have made a swimming bath in the garden,

and they have lovely
mixed bathing parties.

- Oh, I wish I'd brought my bathing suit.

- What a desecration.

In my peach alley?

- Yes.

- Well, one must expect one's traces

to be removed by the hand of time.

Everyone I talk to is so eager

to hear about my Nerro duties

that I've learned nothing
about what is going on here.

What else Olga?

- Yes I suppose it must be tremendous

the work.

- Oh, yes,

I think we might call it tremendous

mightn't we Georgie?

- Overwhelming, incessant.

- I'm not overwhelmed by it dear.

- Aren't you well there we are.

I'm going to enjoy myself
I'll tell you that.

Oh Olga let's go and have tea tomorrow

with Daisy Quantam,

oh you'll love her.

They say she's a new French maid

who's an atheist.

(both laughing)

Such fun.

- I'd love to but I can't.

- Oh why not?

- I have a wonderful surprise for you.

- What?

- Cortese and his wife
are coming down tomorrow

for the weekend.

- Bellisima,

how you spoil us.

Oh, yeah yes, I realize I sure

miss my friend Cortese and his wife.

What can I do?

- Georgie.

This will never do.

- I thought I captured it rather well.

- No, no Lucia tells
me she will start back

to Tilling this afternoon.

- Oh Lucia why?

If we leave Alley tomorrow

it will be heaps of time
for your council meeting.

- There's no reason why
you should go Georgie.

We artists need to take our time.

- Well I'll stay if
you don't mind Luciano.

- I shall have to take
room though with you,

and the roles of course.

- Huh, off you go then
don't worry I can manage.

- Put in a cloud.

- Oh, perfect.

(calm music)

(car horn beeping)

- Ah!

What is this I see?

(speaking in a foreign language)

- Alas my lad Cortese.

Oh Dorothea.

This is Mister and Misses Pilsen,

you met Cortese, this
is his wife Dorothea.

- Hello Mister and Misses Pilsen.

- Call me star.

- Oh no, no telling allowed please.

- But you're English then?

- As the roast beef of old England.

- She is also the cousin of Poppy

the Duchess of Catlary.

I am ordered by madame
only to speak the English.

Don't speak a word of Italian.

What am I here?

- You haven't.

- I have, the first act of.

(speaking in a foreign language)

- Oh you darling man,

we'll have a go at it
tonight after dinner.

- And such an aria for you.

Oh you will jump for joy.

I jump, you jumped,

they jumpino.

- All loaded madam, quite ready.

- Thank you, Hagrid.

No that's quite good.

You jump in.

- Goodbye Georgie.

Telephone me if anything exciting happens.

Okay dear.

You must come and visit us at Tilling

any time just a telephone message.

-[Olga] Maybe I'll hold you to that.

- Goodbye Mister and Misses Cortese.

-[Dorothea] Goodbye, bye!

Goodbye, goodbye.

- Have a good journey!

Jumping!

(all laughing)

(calm operatic music)

(telephone ringing)

- Oh Dorothea dear you answer it.

-[Dorothea] My pleasure.

- Your aria, it has come
out as smooth as burro.

- Cortese no Italian.

- Oh, scuzzi.

Ah!

Sorry.

(all laughing)

As smooth as margarine.

Yeah da da da.

(calm operatic music)

Ah bellisima.

- Cousin Poppy holding on.

- Oh what on earth can she want?

- Dress crab and black coffee.

(all laughing)

- Will we go to her
awful old castle tomorrow

to dine and stay the night?

- What about Georgie.

- Oh she said she knows
the mayor of Tilling

and of course he must come too.

Such a sweet little girl.

- Just the mayor of Tilling

I'm not the mayor of Tilling

she hasn't got the beard.

- Don't quiver Georgie,
of course she means you.

Tell her yes Dorothea dear

we'll all troop over.

- But I can't possibly
Lucia's expecting me.

- Oh you are in peck.

I also in peck.

- You're coming with us Georgie

ring Lucia in the morning and tell her so

just like that.

Well that's settled.

(calm operatic music)

(both laughing)

- You're all what dear?

- Everybody's invited

with a special invitation
to the mayor of Tilling.

- Dear Poppy, what a shame.

- I shall miss you.

- What a shame, how will
you be getting back Georgie?

- I shan't be coming back.

- What was that dear?

Not a very good line.

- I shan't be coming back until tomorrow.

Olga has insisted that I
join her and the Corteses

at Poppy's.

- Hold on, of course I'll

let you go to Sheffield castle.

What fun, give my love

and my sincere regrets

to Poppy.

- Yes, thank you, thank you.

- Back again dear worship cousin is it?

- Delicious, dear how pleased
they all were to see me.

I got back last night to be
ready for my duties today.

- But no Mr. Georgie hmm?

- No no, I insisted that he stayed.

The Duchess of Sheffield

invited us all over to
dine and stay the night.

Such short notice.

And impossible for me of course.

Ah, Foljambe,

I've changed my mind I'm driving down

to Sheffield castle right away

to join Mr. Pilsen.

You'll be coming, it's your
turn for a little outing.

- Oh thank you madam.

- Will you tell Grosvenor

to pack for me just

overnight and a suitable evening gown.

Oh, and tell Cadman of course.

- Very good madam.

(telephone ringing)

- No Grosvenor, no, don't answer it.

-[Grosvenor] Very good madam.

(calm music)

(car rumbling)

- I would've expected
some other motor cars.

- Madam, if it's a gathering of some sort.

- Wait here a moment.

- Yes ma'am.

-[Man] Good afternoon madam.

- I believe I am expected,

the mayor of Tilling.

- Ah yes, he is expected.

But,

I will just have to make inquiries because

well I was told that

excuse me a moment madam.

- Is anything the matter?

- Her grace is not at all well.

- Oh, I'm sorry to hear that,

have none of the other guests arrived?

- No madam, her grace
has been forced to cancel

any projected festivities.

Just a moment madam.

(gate creaking)

Follow me madam.

Your grace,

the mayor of Tilling your grace.

- No it isn't Mayberry,

don't be so silly.

The mayor of Tilling's a man

he's got a beard.

- Such a stupid misunderstanding but I am

verily the self seen mayor.

- Well anyway I've caused some rabble,

so I've called the whole thing off.

I can't be doing with
people this afternoon.

Fools are so fatiguing.

That dressed crab must've been tinned.

- You poor dear, but I understood

from your butler that
you would like to receive

the mayor of Tilling.

- Oh yes oh rather.

(laughing)

Dear little bean coke of a man.

Such a sweet little beard.

Oh please, please.

I feel so dreadfully ill.

- I quite understand.

I wouldn't dream of intruding.

- Oh well now you're here

I suppose you may as
well have a cup of tea.

Mayberry.

- Your grace?

- Pour a little,

pour misses cup of tea.

- Oh very good your grace.

- You know,

your grace,

I want you to promise me this

if ever you are passing through Tilling

please propose yourself to
stay in my lord's house.

That is my humble little residence

for a night or so

we are a close little community

but by no means unsophisticated.

My husband an old friend of Olga's,

the Mapflints and the Wyses,

perhaps you play bridge?

- Too much.

- Your grace.

- Berto,

that female,

gone?

- Going your grace.

- Good.

(footsteps tapping)

- Cadman!

- Lucia.

- I'll just have a meal
at the Amber Near Arms

and then we'll drive back to Tilling.

- Very good ma'am.

(calm music)

(car rumbling)

(operatic music)

- Oh.

That was beautiful.

- Thank you.

- What a delightful surprise.

(laughing)

No doubt, you are equally
surprised to see me.

- It's the most wonderful
muddle that ever happened,

Georgie, explain at once.

- Well you see you challenge like this.

- Yes?

- Well, Poppy was taken ill you see.

- Yes.

- So she rang me up and put us off.

- I gathered so.

And?

- Well I telephoned here
but there was no answer

was there?

- And since you'd invited
me to stay here any time.

- We came back expecting to find you here

but you weren't.

(both laughing)

- A comedy of errors, nothing more.

Well I had hoped to surprise you,

I went to see Poppy after all.

I spent a delicious
hour or two with her but

quickly saw she was not up to entertaining

so I left, she seemed a bit brighter.

But to come home and hear Olga Braceley

singing that lovely prayer from Lucrezzia.

(Olga coughing)

Have I said something amusing?

- Oh of course not.

- It's just that

Hubert's Cradle Song metric.

- Don't forget,

I was outside the house.

(Olga coughing)

- I will never believe it.

- I'm sure I shan't.

- Well,

we all know that Worship
drove off yesterday

to spend the night in Sheffield.

- No dear Sheffield castle
it's quite near Rissam.

- Near Rissam that can't be right.

- Why not Lead's castle's in Kent.

- Anyhow, I was walking up the street

last evening about half
passed six passed an hour.

- I expect you were nosing out some

false scent as usual.

Oh but go on.

- Well, a motor drew up

laden with luggage

and guess who got out.

- Stanley Baldric.

- No, Georgie.

-[Woman] So?

- And a very handsome woman

who oh so common.

- Go on.

- She looked around and yelled

Georgino hardino.

- She didn't.

- She did.

- No.

- Screeched, I don't say much my voice.

- And then?

- I was rooted to the spot

it doesn't have to root anybody

the party was rootie too.

I said nothing because it is so wicked

to breathe any breath of scandal

until one has one's facts, but

they went into Mallard's

then the luggage, then
the front door shut, bang.

And Worship miles away.

- Good gracious.

-[Woman] Hello Susan.

- Good day.

Have seen her?

- Who?

- The prima donna that Lucia and Georgie

went to house seeing in London.

What's her name?

Ilga Brieslet.

- Do you mean Olga Braceley?

- Yes that's right.

- Are you sure?

- Positive.

Everything nice for once.

- Such a screeching voice
didn't you say Mapp?

- Who?

Oh yes frightful went
right through my head

like a railway whistle why?

- Olga Braceley, prima donna.

Must've lost her voice.

So sad.

Glad to tell you who she is.

(all laughing)

- Major, your turn.

- Oh come on Major, bravo!

Grab some wine, grab some wine.

- Rather a dead time of the year.

- Complete!

It's because of this.

Finished year one.

Symbolic.

Lucia, for mayoral robes and chain

and three cornered hat sitting at a piano.

A pack of cards and a
paint box on the lid.

Oh and your bicycle's in there too.

- It's for clash.

- That's too deep for the
parent sees king of my heart.

- Most interesting.

- Top ho.

- I don't understand why
she's got the bicycle.

(bell ringing)

- I shall offer it

to the consulate to hang
behind the mayoral chair.

Elizabeth dear you are

chairman of the Arts Committee aren't you?

- Can't wait to put it to them.

- Dinner.

-[Georgie] Olga's truly
wonderful isn't she?

She enjoys herself by getting enjoyment

by the people.

Doesn't hurt the world small.

She's taking it with Latuke.

-[Lucia] Latuke?

-[Georgie] Yes.

-[Lucia] How nice.

-[Georgie] Oh yes yes indeed

she's there every week.

I found some wonderful sick
tapets for the crossing.

- Did the dear thing mention if she was

expecting me as well?

- Well I really can't remember but

she knows from before
how busy you always are

you know counting city that sort of thing.

But course I shall go.

- Of course.

- Oh dear Olga.

- Well they've gone.

- Who?

- Georgie and Olga Braceley of course.

To Latuke, his infatuation
is evidently increasing.

I don't believe for a moment

he'll come back at the end of the week.

- That would be too humiliating for Lucia.

- Forgive me dear, what
exactly is this pastry?

- Sardine toplet.

- Oh, I don't want to suggest
that anything is wrong.

- I should hope not they're
one of my specialties.

- No no dear, I was referring to Lucia.

If I were she I shouldn't like Georgie

going off with that woman

any more than if you and Benjy

went away to Latuke together.

- I shouldn't like that either.

(sniffing)

- We come to our last
business ladies and gentlemen,

the report of the Arts Committee
on the offer to the council

of Miss Kohl's portrait of the mayor.

- Thank you Worship.

As chairman of the Arts Committee

it is my duty to report

that we cannot recommend the council

to accept the mayor's most generous offer.

We feel it doesn't do her justice.

- Those in favor of accepting the findings

of the committee?

Unanimous, I think.

Any other business.

The meeting is closed.

- Thank you Worship.

Ready for duty.

So generous about the last one.

(telephone ringing)

(knocking on door)

- The telephone for you madam.

It's the Duchess of Sheffield.

- Oh.

Your grace.

- Hello is that Misses--

- How nice to hear from you.

Are you feeling better?

- It's just I've missed my boat to Latuke

and you were good enough to suggest

I should propose myself.

- My dear,

so glad you took me at my word.

- Whatever it is you're talking about,

it's just to dine and sleep you know

so that I can catch the early boat

tomorrow morning.

- Delighted Duchess.

- Right, then I shall be with you

within an hour and a half or so, goodbye.

Oh, never mind.

I say, don't touch that luggage please.

(sighing)

- Grosvenor?

- Yes madam?

- Grosvenor, you've just got time

to run down to Bellingham's

and bring back some dressed crab.

- Dressed crab madam?

- Yes, the Duchess of
Sheffield is coming for supper

and to spend the night.

- Oh madam.

- Yes, yes.

Go on, hurry hurry.

- Yes well I'm off.

I mean there's no point in my sitting here

talking half the night is there

if I want to get the early morning boat?

I should like to be called
at 5:15 tomorrow please.

- So lonely for you Worship

without Mr. Georgie.

- Oh he'll be back on Saturday.

And such a pleasant surprise last night.

Who do you think telephoned me?

- Tell me dear.

- The Duchess of Sheffield.

(laughing)

Dear vague thing,

she'd missed her boat

and can't bear hotels.

- What did she want?

- Oh to stay the night at Mallard's house

of course simply no time to get up

and party, didn't even dress just a

pleasant quiet evening.

She went off early this morning.

- How Worship's conscience will allow her

to tell such whoppers is her
concern not mine thank God.

What I deplore is that you should think me

idiotic enough to believe her.

- I expect she's upset about her portrait.

- Much better to live
down that sort of thing.

- Yes.

But what's the good in telling lies

which no one can believe?

At least when you and
I tell lies Elizabeth

we do it in the hope,

sorry dear.

(sighing)

(knocking on door)

- Ms. Kohls ma'am.

- Darling I'm so sorry about it.

- Don't be Irene,

it's a joy to have it here.

The council are all goths and vandals

and maps.

- Oh that?

No I mean about the septic Duchess.

Why on earth did you do it?

- Do what exactly?

- Say she'd stayed the night here.

- Because she did.

- No dear don't go on saying it.

So futile.

- This is preposterous,

we had dressed crab for dinner.

She went to bed early

she slept in the best bedroom

she snored, we breakfasted
at half passed six.

- Darling we won't talk about it anymore.

Whenever you want me, I shall come to you.

Just send for me.

- I shall want you

when you beg my pardon
for calling me a liar.

- Just send for me.

- Telegram for you madam.

(paper crinkling)

- No Grosvenor.

Mr. Georgie

won't be home till Monday.

- Very good madam.

(man laughing)

(people chattering)

-[Man] Thank you madam.

- Where is Mr. Georgie yet Worship?

- No, he's enjoying himself so much

at Latuke I insisted
he stay until tomorrow.

- Must be lonely without him.

- Lonely?

I don't know the meaning of the word.

How could I be lonely
with my work and my music?

So many loyal and loving friends

around me like yourself, dear Elizabeth.

And still the deserted wife,

you see my Georgie

can't tear himself away
from the sirens of Latuke.

(man sneezing)

Mr. Wyse,

you've got a bad cold.

Your sister the Contessa to Farialoni

would never have allowed you out.

Susan, new Royce, new tricycle?

On Shanks' pony?

You mustn't overdo it at your age.

Diva, did I tell you what I thought

of your sardine tartlets?

Another time perhaps.

Irene, was it not a lovely sermon,

all about thinking evil of one's friends?

Good morning Major Benjy,

you must get Mr. Wyse to try your

favorite recipe for a cold,

a tumbler full of whiskey is it not

every two hours, with a
little hot water to taste?

Au revoir, go ons.

(man sneezing)

- Oh little chap.

How utterly poisonous of them all.

Well I'm glad you gave it
to them hot after church.

We'll do something stunning now and

wipe that Cheshire Cat
grin off Mapp's face.

- Oh Georgie.

- And it made you cry.

Oh what a shame.

And how very unlike you.

They didn't believe Poppy stayed here?

Of course she did.

- It's lovely to have you back.

- Oh it's lovely to be back.

- But you've had a wonderful time.

- Well it is all perhaps
sitting matter of fact.

You see,

Poppy kept sitting up close against me

and staring at my beard.

And then she kept trying to hold my hand

under the table at dinner.

She trod on my foot

and kept smiling at me most oddly

it was really too tall of her.

- Oh Gino how dare she?

Did she try?

- No.

And yesterday if you didn't
mind offer the peach,

she wanted to go peddling with me.

Yes, and I was quite firm about it

I said I would go inland at once

if she went after that.

- Quite right.

But it's all over now.

- Well I'm not so sure

she and Olga want to stay here

for a couple of nights on their way back.

- Georgie.

- What?

- It's Providence.

- What is?

- It'll kill that scandal
that she didn't stay here.

Oh, what a score.

- Now Lucia I couldn't
stop her if she came.

She makes me feel very jumpy.

- Well if you're nervous
you can sleep in my room.

Just while she's here of course.

- Well wouldn't Foljambe think that odd?

- Then lock your door,

you must send her a telegram immediately

and we'll ask everyone
to meet her at dinner

the Wyses, the Padre,

Godiva Irene and the Matflints.

I don't want to leave
Elizabeth a leg to stand on.

Same place, Duchess.

- Really, how amusing.

I remember your kindness of the other day.

- Not kindness your grace,

as mayor of Tilling, my duty.

- Mr. Wyse, never heard of him.

Well whatever it was,

you gave me and Melan a bed for the night.

Oh yes and breakfast, I say,

whatever time was that?

- 6:30 your grace.

- Good gracious, what a lark.

(laughing)

Oh.

What a little pleasure.

You know,

some fool was telling me

that you were mayor of Tilling.

(all laughing)

- Oh dear Poppy.

(tense music)

-[Poppy] We shall have a
lovely drive up with the stars.

- So glad you were able to come

to my little reception.

-[Poppy] Simply lovely loved everything.

- Swing high.

- Do be quick.

- Coming.

- Au revoir!

- Au revoir sweet one.

One of these days.

Oh come on!

(calm music)