Original subtitles

You must remember this

A kiss is still a kiss

A sigh is just a sigh

The fundamental things apply

As time goes by.

- Morning, Mum. - Oh, I thought you'd have gone!

- Nice weekend? - Yes.

Yes, it was.

- And how was...? - Any more coffee in the pot?

- Yeah, I'll get you one. - No, I'll get it.

How was Aunt Penny?

Much as usual. Depressing. She asked after you.

"How's poor Judith?"

"Poor LITTLE Judith", actually.

Did Uncle Stephen get a word in edgeways?

Just the one!

- What about Lionel? - What ABOUT Lionel?

Why do you say it like that?

All I said was, "What about Lionel?"

No, you said, "What ABOUT Lionel?"

- Not at the office? - I've a meeting at ten.

When I started there, I was at my desk at 8 am.

Working by gaslight.

Candle-light, actually! One candle only, of course!

So, what ABOUT Lionel?

Oh, not again! What about Lionel?

Well, did he have a nice weekend?

- Bet he didn't. - Well, he did, actually.

Oh? I was expecting you back last night.

We were having such a nice time, we decided to stay.

I see!

So we did!

It's a funny sort of place to have a nice time -Aunt Penny's.

- Where's the meeting? - Fitzroy Square.

Shouldn't you be on your way?

Yes, I suppose I should.

I'm glad you had a nice time.

Well, I'm glad... you're glad I had a nice time!

I'll see you later!

- Morning, boss. - Morning, Sandy.

Post. Mostly routine. Mostly downright dull.

- Any cheques? - Some.

Then it's not all that dull.

- Nice weekend? - Yes, thank you.

- I'm glad. - Good.

No, I mean I'm really glad! I like Lionel!

- You've been talking to Judith! - Yes.

She said that you and Lionel had gone away for the weekend.

That's all.

Well, we did NOT go away for the weekend.

- Judith made it up? - No.

- You're not making sense. - I am.

Lionel and I spent a few days with my sister-in-law.

We did not "go away for the weekend".

- What's the difference? - Oh, Sandy!

You're so touchy!

My private life is my business!

Okay!

- I'm glad. - What about?

Well, that after all these years you've got a private life!

Sandy!

Oh, someone's at the door.

- Good morning. - Well, good morning!

- Is Jean free? - Oh, for you...?

It's your P.L.

- Oh, hello, Lionel. - Hello.

I'll close the door, shall I?

- Hello, Lionel. - Hello.

- What's a P.L.? - I don't know.

Oh, yes, I do. Private Life.

Oh. Rather impertinent.

Impertinent?

- Nosey, then. - Yes, I'd accept nosey.

Judy's as bad. "Nice weekend? How's Lionel?"

- And you said? - I said you were fine.

- You know what I mean. - I said nothing.

It's flattering being the objects of youthful curiosity at our time of life.

I'm fed up with it!

And I don't like the "our time of life" much either!

As Alistair says,

"If pressed on personal matters, smile mischievously and say "Hey!"""

- Not us! - No.

YES?

Don't snarl! It's Atwells on the phone.

MISTER Atwell, actually.

- Tell him I'll ring him back. - Okay.

- When? - Oh, soon.

Sorry, I'm rather rushed today.

I just wanted Penny's phone number. I think I've left my watch there.

- I'll phone her. - If you're too busy...

Don't push it!

I still can't get used to seeing you as an executive woman.

Look silly if I was a junior nurse, wouldn't it?

- Free for lunch? - Yeah, fine.

Ah, Penny?

It's Jean.

..I'm fine, thank you.

Yes, he's fine too.

It was a lovely weekend. Thank you very much.

Oh, a kleptomaniac, I think.

Lionel thinks he left his watch at the cottage.

..Would you?

Oh, yes, all right. Okay, bye.

She's going to ring back.

- Kleptomaniac? - You're treating one.

To Penny, you're a psychiatrist.

Mm. Why?

You didn't want to talk about the book.

- But why a psychiatrist? - I'll see one and ask!

I'll be off.

- See you for lunch. - Yeah, fine.

Oh, I'd like a chat about something.

- What about? - Em...

Us taking a holiday together.

Ooh!

- Cheerio, Sandy. - Bye.

You're not into spritzers, are you?

I'm not into diluted wine, nor am I into this suit.

You look the biz!

Mutton dressed as lamb.

A waitress gave you a look.

Couldn't believe her eyes.

It was admiration!

She has poor eyesight!

You don't think this'll help sell a book?

You'd be surprised.

Not since knowing you.

- I'll take that as a compliment. - Thought so.

Do you know what that suit says?

Yes. "Take me off."

Wrong. It says, "Hold up. Coffee planters can be cool dudes!"

Is this to do with the "hey" business?

Right!

Speaking of which... How shall I put this?

- Carefully, I hope. - No, hold it for tonight.

- Am I giving a pop concert tonight? - Dinner! You, me, Jean, Judy.

Before we go over the top with the book.

You're always going over the top.

We're using "over the top" in a different sense.

Ye-es.

You and Jean are still on for tonight?

Yes. I'd forgotten. Sorry. You're seeing a lot of Judith.

We, er... hang out.

What exactly does that mean?

Hey, hey!

She looked at you again.

Couldn't believe what she saw last time!

No...

Pop round to the house and I'll make an omelette.

In about 20 minutes? Fine.

Penny? No, she hasn't phoned. Bye.

Remember we're having dinner with Alistair tonight.

How could I forget?

Deep down, he's very sweet.

I just wish he was intelligible!

He can be!

Sandwiches for the workers.

What about the queen bee?

She's popping home for lunch.

- With Lionel. - Oh?

We got tired of sandwiches in the park!

- I didn't say anything! - Cosier at home.

You two are getting very tiresome.

She's getting rattled.

She is NOT!

- They're going on holiday. - Are they?

I'll get it. Noble soul.

Good afternoon, Type For You.

Oh, hello, Aunt Penny. No, she just left.

You've found Lionel's watch. I didn't know he'd left it.

Yes. Right.

Under where?

Under their bed?

No, no, Aunt Penny, I'm on my lunch-break.

You just chatter away as much as you want to!

This is rather good.

Oh, we have a domestic side, we executive women.

More comfortable than the park benches as well.

We should do this every day.

You think so? What about my executive side?

Sorry. I forgot!

It's not a hobby!

Don't get prickly.

Work isn't something I do in my spare time!

Too many men have made that assumption.

- What men? - Oh, men.

- Men you've known? - Not necessarily.

You must've known them all to know they made the assumption.

Well...

- I'm not asking for figures. - You're not getting figures!

- Anyway, you mentioned a holiday. - Ah. Right.

- I've been offered a cruise. - What on?

A ship.

I mean, who offered you the cruise?

It's odd.

- You know the lecture circuit I'm on? - "My Life I n Kenya".

- A chap on the circuit... - "My Life In Clapham"?

- Be quiet! - Sorry!

Well, he somehow got himself a cruise.

Six days of luxury for three talks.

Said it was a doddle.

He thinks, if he recommends me to the Line,

- it'd be the Mediterranean. - Well, well!

- I knew there must be some perks! - Have a nice time

You could come too! He took his wife.

- I'm not your wife. - That's all right.

Nobody seems to bother. We could put down "companion".

No! Rich old ladies have companions!

- Does it matter what you're called? - Yes.

- I can't put "old sweetheart"! - What about "nurse"?

No, no, no. Look, we'll just put you down as your name.

What do you say to the captain?

- Why should I say anything to him? - You're the celebrity speaker!

- How are you going to introduce me? - "This is my friend..."

"Jean Pargetter, who is sharing my cabin!"

No!

He'd know it.

Why the concern about the captain?

It's the other people nudging each other and saying,

"She's not a new model, is she?" I'm tired of it.

I see. Well, you make a compelling case for not wanting to come.

- I'm sorry, Lionel. - It was free as well.

- What was all that for? - To prevent myself from hitting you!

Ask me why? Go on!

- Why? - I'd be a freebie!

A hanger-on. "Is she included?" "Oh, sure, chuck her in!"

- That's not the way I think of it. - I'm going back to work!

What if I ask for separate cabins?

I wonder if they'd stretch to that.

Taxi!

Nice lunch?

One more personal question this afternoon, and you're out.

That goes for you too!

So much for love in the afternoon.

They should stick to sandwiches!

Ah.

I'd like to see your commander-in-chief.

She's out.

Do you expect me to believe that?

- Yes, I DO as a matter of fact! - Well, I don't.

- I'd like to talk to your mother. - She's out.

- Do you expect me to believe that? - He said that to me!

- Well, do you? - Yes.

Huh!

- A cup of coffee? - No, thanks.

- A wine gum? - No, thanks.

I'm waiting for you to produce your mother.

Biologically impossible.

Not funny.

- Neither is being called a liar. - Right.

Jean just went out?

I have days like this.

I don't suppose you know where she's gone.

Yes.

- Are you going to tell me? - No.

Look, we don't know. She just went.

- Rather early, isn't it? - That's up to her.

We had a bit of a disagreement. I suppose she told you.

No.

Then why are you taking sides?

Oh, I see. All girls together.

- What if I called you a boy? - I'd say your mind had snapped.

Exactly!

- She likes Mum. - Oh. So I gathered.

- This misunderstanding... - Look, I don't want to know!

- Perhaps I put it badly. - What?

I told her that I could possibly get a lecture job on a ship

and she could come along free.

I think I'll go.

- Four hundred. - Three.

Four.

Three and a half.

Mr Atwell, if you want girls on a regular basis...

Girls on a regular basis! There's quite a double meaning there!

Is there really If you want SECRETARIES on a regular basis,

we're talking of regular salaries.

Are you sure you wouldn't like a drink?

Yes.

- Afraid it might go to the head? - Yes, something like that.

Such an attractive little lady. Such a strong will.

It's four.

- Look, dear... - Don't call me "dear".

Sorry.

Just a term of endearment.

- Mr Atwell... - Cyril.

Mr Atwell, we have no need of endearments.

We're talking business.

- Three and a half. - Four.

- I've got a time-share. - Really?

Marbella. Through-lounge, all ethnic-tiled,

microwave, sun deck, use of pool.

Maria comes every day. She's very good despite the limp.

- Is this relevant? - Think about it.

I have, fast. Four.

You misunderstand me. I wasn't inviting YOU.

Oh.

No, I thought perhaps you and Hubby might...

I don't have a hubby.

Poor woman.

I'm not a poor woman, I'm a businessman... woman!

That's all?

You make it sound as if it should have black edges round it.

- It explains a lot. - It doesn't. Four!

- Three and three-quarters. - Four.

You're a tough lady.

Not a rascal or a rogue?

- I'm not with you. - No, never mind!

- You little business ladies... - Four.

Four.

Li, Li, Li...

I hate being called Li, let alone Li, Li, Li!

What did I do or say that was so terrible?

You admitted you were on a freebie!

- I said perk. - Same thing, different generation.

Perks are fine,

but never tell your lady that SHE's on a freebie.

It's not flattering.

- It's honest. - Li,

we are talking man-woman, not about honesty.

I'm out of touch with women.

What about the romance with Jean early in the century?

- Middle of the century! - So it was.

Oh, that was... Well, understanding each other didn't come into it.

- It must've been something! - It was.

Then there was no relationship that required me to understand women.

Your wife?

She didn't want to be understood.

It would've been an intrusion.

- Jean IS coming tonight? - She WAS,

but in the prevailing climate, she may not support this book business.

Actually, that may not be entirely a bad thing.

It's the Three Graces rolled into two women!

That makes us one and a half women each!

- Lionel. - Hello. Hello, Judith.

- Sandy's forgiven you. - What for?

- All I said was... - Oh, one of those!

- Shall we take in some bubbles? - Judith.

Excuse me.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

- Mm, cheers. - Cheers.

Thank you.

- What do you think? - Oh, it's Lionel.

- I like it. - I feel a twerp!

Lionel, it's the biz! A friend fixed us up!

Another perk

Shall we order?

Actually, I've put ordering on hold.

Let's do the stuff first then mungus.

Sorry, I only understood every other word.

Alistair wants to talk about the book first, then eat.

Judy can interpret!

Sorry. I try to keep up with the young fellows.

Right, we have ignition. We publish in a week.

Then, hopefully, Lionel will be in the public eye.

- In this suit! - Which they will love.

Part of the image.

If the public gets interested in an author,

they get interested in the book.

If only you'd published Shakespeare...

- I'm serious. - So is Judy!

Look, we don't want to suggest that

My Life In Kenya is simply the story of a coffee planter.

- But it is. - WE know that, mate,

but we want to hint that that guy didn't JUST plant coffee.

- We're back to the "hey, hey" thing! - Right!

Look, if you want to persist with this ridiculous fiction...

He sells books!

- But what's it to do with me now? - To believe the "then",

we have to believe that the "now" is still half-way "then".

Judy?

You've got to appear a bit of an old dog.

Hardly!

That's where you come in.

Do I follow him around saying, "He's an old dog!"?

You're one hell of a lady but, for the sake of the book,

I don't want you to follow him around at all.

- Oh... I see. - Alistair!

I'm not talking people.

- I'm talking business. - I know the difference!

What?

Being seen with a mature lady doesn't fit the "old dog" image.

I see.

- No offence. - It's business.

In that case, bugger business!

But for her, I'd have packed the bloody thing in!

She encouraged me and even persuaded me

that your mad ideas actually made sense!

But this one doesn't, Alistair.

If Jean has the will, or the stamina, or the time

to help me sell this book, I'll feel gratitude.

You'd better get used to it.

Oh, and I'll feel something else as well, and that's proud.

Right, may we see a menu, please?

Not fancy coming on somewhere?

We'd be asleep by the time we got there!

Then we'd go inside and fall asleep again!

See you for the book launch then?

With my walking frame

I'll wear the suit.

- You like it? - No. I'll just wear it.

Good. See you.

'Night, Mum. Goodnight, you.

Oh, by the way, Aunt Penny phoned. She found Lionel's watch.

It was under your bed apparently.

'Night.

Are you dropping off?

Too many late nights.

Have you had many recently?

Just tonight.

- Quite a speech you made tonight. - I just said what I thought.

That's why it was quite a speech.

I'm sorry I was so ratty about the cruise.

Probably won't come off.

If it does, I'm your shipmate!

I was offered a time-share in Marbella this afternoon.

Oh, yes?

No, I don't get those offers now! He wanted me to bring the hubby.

- Hubby? - He was that kind of chap.

He referred to women as "little ladies".

Which hospital's he in?

I hit him where it really hurt - in his wallet!

- You used to get "those offers"? - Yes.

- Did you...? - Mind your own business!

Right.

No, I didn't.

It was the woman alone in business.

- It's called sexual harassment now. - Gosh, you're moving with the times!

I heard it from the town crier!

What was it called then?

Putting up with it.

When David died, he didn't leave much money, and there was Judith.

I just started here. Me and a telephone and a typewriter.

It's in a museum now!

- But you made it? - Yes.

The highest compliment that a male client thinks he can pay me is,

"My God, you're as tough as a man!"

If we hadn't lost touch...

would you have wanted to go into business then?

Would you have wanted me to?

In the light of this conversation, that's a leading question!

I know.

- No, I wouldn't. - No, I thought not.

- Would you have wanted to? - THAT's a leading question!

- It was my turn! - All right, then. No.

I would've cooked for us and our 15 children

and become a Mother Earth figure!

Don't tell anyone!

- Oh! - Oh!

What are we going to do about that smirk on Judy's face?

Questions will be asked.

- Not in The House? - I hope not.

Any idea what to say?

I have.

Alistair talks a lot of twaddle but he has one handy phrase...

- Hey, hey! - Hey, hey!

You must remember this

A kiss is still a kiss

A sigh is just a sigh

The fundamental things apply

As time goes by

And when two lovers woo

They still say "I love you"

On that you can rely

The world will always welcome lovers

As time goes by.