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You must remember this
A kiss is still a kiss
A sigh is just a sigh
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by.
Good Lord. Joseph Locke's on CD.
We saw him at the Hackney Empire.
So we did. What did he sing?
Something military, I expect. He generally sang military things.
Nothing of Johnny Ray's here.
- Do you like him? - No!
Why are looking, then?
There was one song he used to sing, Walking My Baby Back Home.
- Doesn't sound like your cup of tea. - It wasn't.
When I was called up, everyone at the camp was singing it.
..Walking out late Walking my baby back home.
- Sssh! - I'm finished.
- Dreadful lyrics. - Why did you all sing it then?
It seemed romantic.
You know, walking one's baby back home.
I remember. How did it go...?
We started to pet,
and that's when I'd get powder on my vest...
Quite evocative. We did wear powder.
The vest bit worried me until I found out it meant waistcoat.
I wondered why he was walking his baby home in his vest.
You only ever walked me back to the Nurses' Home.
I was the envy of the Battalion, going out with a nurse.
Really?
Something to do with the fact that nurses knew about anatomy.
Gave them an erotic mystery.
- Did you believe that? - I suppose I must have done.
- Is that why you picked me up? - You weren't in uniform.
And I didn't pick you up. I asked the way to Curzon Street.
We went out four times before you kissed me.
Then we clashed noses and you bumped your head.
- Pretty smooth, wasn't I? - I actually thought you were.
Funny, isn't it? When you look back...
What are you doing?
- Don't look at me. - Why not?
There's someone I don't want to see. She's in blue.
- I can't... - Don't look at me!
- Well, I can't. - I swear she was there.
She's behind us.
Would she recognise you from behind?
- Right, sidle out quietly. - Sidle?!
Yes, quick, sideways!
When we get to the door, run for it.
- What do we do then? - Split up and make contact in Prague
- Please! - Oh, all right.
Now! Now!
- Stop! You're shoplifting. - Jean!
Oh... oh, Penny.
- Jean, how lovely to see you! - How lovely to see you.
It's lovely to see you. Fancy bumping into you like that.
Fancy.
- And lovely to meet you, Leslie. - Lionel.
Awful at names. I'm only up in town for a day-bit of shopping.
I did try to let you know I was coming, but you must have been out.
What a pretty little garden. Do you have a garden, Leslie?
I live in a flat. I mow the window box on occasion.
You poor man!
Now, what about you two? How long have you known each other?
- Ah, well... - Just a few months.
I've got strawberries in the fridge.
- Oh, scrummy. - Give me a hand, Lionel?
- Yes, if you want me to. - No, no, no, don't steal him.
Well, I'll give him back. Shan't be a moment.
What d'you mean, a few months?
- I don't want her to know. - Why not?
I was married to her brother.
- I didn't tell him about us. - Didn't you?
- Did you tell your wife? - I shouldn't think so.
- Well. - She never asked.
She was the least curious person I've ever met.
- So, don't let anything slip. - I'm not very good at deception.
You deceived me into thinking you wanted directions to Curzon Street.
Why all that nonsense in the shop? She goes on a bit, but she's nice.
She is, but she's made it her mission to feel sorry for me.
"Poor Jean this. Poor Jean that."
- I don't think of you as "Poor Jean." - Nor do I. But I can't budge her.
- Sometimes it's "Poor brave Jean." - That's worse.
Ah, ah... Would you get some dishes, please?
This fiction about only having known each other for a few months.
- Where did we meet? - I don't know.
It might be better if we told the same story.
- Those are soup plates! - Well, they're dishes.
Look, just make it up as you go along.
- If in doubt, change the subject. - Huh.
The cream's in the fridge.
There!
- One more thing. - Napkins?
- No. - We should - cream tends to dribble.
I didn't mean napkins. If she asks us for the weekend, we can't go.
That suits me fine. I hate staying in other people's houses.
You never know which door is the loo.
Why are you so sure she'll ask us?
- She always does. - Sugar!
- So just say no, hmm? - Uh-huh.
Any more than an hour of being "Poor Jean" is unbearable.
Napkins?
Oh, they're in the... Never mind, here.
Come on.
You'll have to divide those in the autumn or they'll take over.
Where did you two meet, by the way?
..On the dodgems at a fairground.
- How bizarre! - Yes, that's what I thought.
- Where's Judith, by the way? - Out somewhere.
- Oh, good. How is she? - Very well.
Oh, I AM glad. Poor Judith.
- I smashed into her. - Who?
Jean - on the dodgems.
Mint takes over, too...
Listen, why don't you come to the cottage for the weekend?
Stephen and I would love to have you.
- Ah, well... - Please, do come.
- Well, the thing is... - Thank you. We'd love to.
I always stack from the back.
- Do you? - It makes sense, doesn't it?
Then, you don't have to rearrange it.
Have you done a thesis on it
Common sense.
It's my dishwasher. I'll stack it how I like!
- Suit yourself. - I will.
- I only said, "Why?" - You said, "Wh-h-hy?"
I didn't say that. And if I did, it was excusable.
"Come for the weekend", she said.
- "We'd love to", you said. - I know.
I was about to make a plausible excuse.
- What? - I hadn't got that far.
- Maybe it wasn't plausible at all. - Don't start on me.
- I'm not. - Yes, you are.
You feel guilty so you turn your fire on someone else.
- You make me sound like a battleship. - An irrational battleship.
- I know... Oh, I feel such a fool. - Why did you say yes?
Well, apart from Judith, she's all the family I've got.
She was very kind to me when David died.
She's well-intentioned.
Look, if you want my opinion...
- Which I do. - You did the right thing.
Putting yourself out for others isn't a bad thing to do.
- YOU don't. - I'm not saying I do.
You never complained about having to go.
You didn't give me time.
It may not be so bad.
I hope not.
- But you don't want to go. - No.
No... Well, I'll phone
and say you've gone on a Polar expedition.
- A bit transparent. - Totally.
- It's not as though you need me. - No. Except I do.
Do you?
With a chap in tow, I'm less of the, "Poor Jean".
So I'm a token chap, then? A trophy?
If I wanted a trophy, I'd take someone 20 years younger!
- Who? - Well, I...
- Hmmm? - Well, somebody!
You haven't got anybody 20 years younger,
so you'll just have to make do with me.
- Thanks - I hope we can sustain this fiction.
I told you, I'm not good at deception.
I thought you did very well about smashing into me at the dodgems.
I'm so glad for Jean.
She's been so brave since David died,
but inside she's been crying.
She struck me as being very together.
What's together?
I'll tell you what together is. Putting on a front - being cheerful.
She'll never find another David. What d'you think of Lionel?
- Lionel? - I like him.
- Well... - In an odd sort of a way.
I don't mean he's odd, but fancy meeting on the dodgems.
I wonder what Jean was doing there?
I don't see her as a dodgem sort of person.
Nor Lionel, actually.
- Where did we meet? I've forgotten. - We met at a dinner...
What does Lionel do? Have you asked him?
- No. - Why not?
Well, I...
I expect it will come up. We mustn't be too inquisitive.
I mean, she's got someone at last.
So just let the conversation take its course.
Yes, I usually do.
Lunch is nearly ready! Just the glasses...
What on earth are you doing?
If I get up in the night, I just feel for the plaster.
You can't go sticking Elastoplast on people's houses.
It's only a bit. I'm not papering the walls with it.
Suppose someone sees it?
Would you accuse a guest of doing that?
- Well, no. - Well, leave it, then.
It's either that or me blundering into the wrong room.
Look, I don't want to talk about the book.
Are you two all right?
- Just coming! - Why?
Well, it's the same boring old road, isn't it?
I say what the book's called and they say, "Do tell us about it."
- So I do and I bore them to death. - Oh, all right, let's go down.
- I can see that plaster from here! - Only because you know it's there!
Poor Jean. All those awful years with Judith a child.
I don't use the word struggle lightly, but it must have been.
Yes, it wasn't much fun in the workhouse
- It's the truth. - Lionel knows all this.
Do you?
We talk a lot, Jean and I. We go way back after all.
I thought you'd only known each other a few months.
We have.
Er, it seems like way back now. After all these months.
I see.
- Dodgems, you say? - Yes.
I can't imagine what you were doing on the dodgems in the first place.
Oh, well... driving around.
- What a desperate thing to do. - I was not desperate.
Going to a fair alone at your age.
- Did you need to be with people? - No!
- She was with a crowd. - A dozen of us!
- You lost touch with the old crowd. - This was a new crowd!
- I'm only interested. - Sorry.
You had so much going for you...
- More coffee? - A kind husband.
A lovely man, Lionel.
So much to look forward to and then...
Lionel's a psychiatrist.
Really? How fascinating.
- Absolutely fascinating. - Oh, it's just a job.
- Seeing into the human psyche. - That's where the word comes from.
- I know. - I'm in medicine, too.
Stephen, you're only a dentist.
Listen, I respect professional confidentiality-of course I do -
but have you been able to help Jean?
I hoped I could, but no.
Funny place for a psychiatrist to go - to a fair.
He's an observer of human nature.
- Aren't you? - Non-stop.
- Fascinating. Would you like a nap? - Not particularly, no.
- Jean? Do you nap in the afternoon? - No, I work in the afternoon.
We were going to look at the garden.
Yes, we were.
- Go on, we'll wash up. - Oh.
I stack the dishwasher from the back.
- Is it significant? - No,
it means you're a very rational person.
- A psychiatrist! - It was all I could think of.
- Why? - You didn't want to discuss the book.
Nobody even asked me.
You suddenly announced it out of the blue.
I wanted to change the subject.
Couldn't you have thrown a chair through the window
- She goes on and on. - Does it matter?
Yes, it does.
It reminds me of what bloody awful years they were after David died.
- I did love him. - You said that.
Not in the same way as I loved you. But I did love him.
We'll have to change the subject.
To friendship and psychiatry
- Your inventions. - Sorry.
At least I don't have to prove it.
If you said I was a fire-eater, she'd have asked to see it!
- As if I'd have said that. - As if you would
We better go back. And no more lies.
Yes, we'll stick with two.
- What a beautiful evening. - Yes. I'm glad I came home.
- Home? - I don't know why I said that.
I meant, it's nice to be AT home - in England.
Forgive me for saying so,
but you and Jean seem to be somewhat ill at ease.
Do we?
You've known each other for a good deal longer than just a few months.
We knew each other a long time ago. Before she met David.
How did you know?
Well, that dodgem thing never really passed muster.
One doesn't need to be a Sherlock Holmes to notice things.
An odd look...
- Does Penny know? - Good heavens, no.
Bless her heart, she only talks - she never looks or listens.
Jean never told her husband.
More than a passing friendship then?
Quite a lot more.
- I shan't say anything, of course. - Thanks.
No, we'll just talk about something else.
Like my being a psychiatrist?
- Good idea. Fascinating subject. - Yes, it must be...
..to the layman, I mean.
Been in psychiatry a while, have you?
Oh, yes, several years.
But sometimes it only seems like a couple of hours.
Perhaps Lionel will tell us about his work.
Does Stephen talk shop?
I don't encourage him to. Who wants to talk about teeth?
- I like Lionel. - So do I.
Poor Jean.
- Now why "poor Jean" again? - I mean, meeting him so late in life.
I was fond of David, but I'd have liked you to have met someone...
- After a decent interval? - Yes.
Well, now I have met Lionel.
But so late.
You've said that once. We're not exactly in our dotage.
No, of course not -
and companionship can be a wonderful thing in its own way.
Poor Jean.
Penny, my relationship with Lionel
goes a long way beyond companionship.
Good gracious, does it?
Of course.
- You mean...? - Yes, of course.
You didn't say!
It's not the kind of thing you mention right away.
- I think it's wonderful. - Good.
- You didn't say. - We've done that one.
But I put you in separate rooms.
Oh... oh, no.
- That's fine, that's all right. - No, no, it isn't fine!
Look, I'll change things round upstairs. It won't take a jiff!
- I think it was 1954. - I think you're right.
I know the track was Iffley Road, Oxford.
Funny name for a road.
Yes...
How did we get on to Roger Bannister anyway?
I'm not sure.
Sorry, it must be the country air.
Good Lord, is that the time?
- I'm ready for bed. - So am I.
I'm not! I'm not tired at all!
- Shall I make more coffee? - No, no.
I know, let's play Trivial Pursuits.
..It's one o'clock!
Oh, is it? Everybody tired?
Oh, all right. I'm off, then. Goodnight, everybody!
Lionel, you're a psychiatrist. Is she under some sort of strain?
- Goodnight. - Goodnight, Lionel.
Psssst! Lionel!
- What? - Ssshh! Ssshh!
We're in here!
What do you mean, "We're in here"?
- We're in here. - Why?
Penny changed things round.
- Did she? - We ARE guests.
I know we're guests,
- but WHY did she change them? - I don't know.
- I better have a word. - No!
It was me!
I see.
Don't smile.
It wasn't intentional.
- I didn't intend this to happen. - But it was your fault?
Yes.
- What did you say to Penny? - I told her we slept together.
We did, 38 years ago.
Now! You know what I mean!
You worry me.
Are you starting to lie or the sake of it?
Of course not.
- Then why the latest? - "Poor Jean"!
Not again!
"Companionship can be a wonderful thing." Bloody cheek!
You're like a moth to a flame.
- She insulted you, too. - How?
- You're the "companion". - But I don't rise to the bait.
You weren't there to rise to the bait!
I'd have shrugged it off.
- ..Well, I didn't. - No.
- So, here we are. - Yes.
In a non-companionable sense.
Supposedly.
- Supposedly. - Yes.
They're washing up.
When they come up, I'll sneak back to my old room.
- You don't know who'll be in there. - They not taking in paying guests!
They've given us THEIR room. One of them might be in there.
- Well, I'm not sleeping on the floor. - No-one asked you
- to sleep on the floor. - Good.
- I'll sleep on the chair. - No.
Oh, all right.
What are you doing?
You'll need a blanket.
I'm not sleeping in the chair, either.
Look, you got us into this mess, thanks to another lie.
The other two stories were bad enough.
What are we going to do?
We're going to act like grown-ups. It is a bed made for two people.
True.
It's a cupboard.
Why are you suddenly so interested in cupboards?
- I need to change into my pyjamas. - Oh, I'll hide my eyes.
I realise now why you tore up here. Where are my pyjamas?
Well, I... Look, under your pillow, neatly folded. Just like a hotel.
I wish it were.
I'd feel quite differently about it if it were.
- Oh... - Oh. Sorry.
- Everything all right? - Yes, fine...
Oh, these? Yes, I was cleaning my teeth
and I thought I'd change into my pyjamas at the same time.
Oh, I see.
What's that?
What's what?
That!
- It's a piece of Elastoplast! - Good God. So it is. Goodnight.
- Stephen found the Elastoplast. - Oh.
I think I know which rooms NOT to go into now, anyway.
Good.
- Well... - One small step for man
- Hear My Song, Violetta. - Pardon?
Joseph Locke at the Hackney Empire. It wasn't military at all.
Probably sang something military before it.
Probably.
We're on the wrong side.
What?
Well, I slept on that side, you slept on this side.
- Does it matter now? - Probably not.
- There. That's better, isn't it? - Yes, it is, actually.
- If I move suddenly in the night... - Yes?
- It'll be cramp. - Oh.
I sometimes get cramp in bed.
Well, I'll try and remember.
- It's funny this, isn't it? - Under the circumstances, yes.
I'm sorry.
Oh, don't be sorry. It's rather nice.
- Yes, it is, actually. - Companionship.
- It's not a NASTY word. - No, not nasty. A bit patronising.
- That's what I said. - You were defending your honour.
- Are you sure that's the right word? - Yes, in an inverted sort of way.
Do we look smug in the morning?
Not particularly. We have slept together before.
Except that Penny doesn't know it was thirty-eight years ago.
It seems like yesterday.
No, it doesn't.
No, it doesn't.
- Lights out? - Lights out.
Old habits.
Old habits.
Hello again.
Hello again.
You must remember this
A kiss is still a kiss
A sigh is just a sigh
The fundamental things apply
As time goes by.
And when two lovers woo
They still say "I love you"
On that you can rely
The world will always welcome lovers
As time goes by.
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