All language subtitles for The Magician 2005 AMZN WEB-DL H264 DDP2 0 SNAKE

I was just going
through the side door,

and wait inside the garage
behind one of the cars,

there's another car in the
garage there, we just wait there.

And when he comes in,

just wait for him to get out of the car.

And then I'm gonna give him the good news.

Well,

he's probably gonna come.

He lives in this place here,

just on the corner here,

in this hotel here.

So he's either gonna come-

I mean, he normally comes
just down this alley way.

But he could come up here,

or here,

or he could even come up this way.

So I'm gonna keep my eye out,

but basically what ever way he comes,

I'm just gonna grab him
and chuck him in the car.

Have you been
following for a while?

Yeah.

'Bout a week.

Here he comes.

Alright.

I'm not gonna grab him now though,

Okay.

I'm gonna grab him on the way back.

Okay...

Here he comes, here.

Just try-

Be careful with the camera on him,

Okay.

you know what I'm
saying about the camera?

That's him there.

He's going out for a stroll.

Any one need to piss?

Did ya get that?

Here's the boy,

surgical gloves at the chemist.

But you got to get 'em
in big packs of one.

Cost you about six bucks.

But now you can get packs
of 24 for about five bucks.

Which is good.

It's a bit cheaper.

Is that him?

Yeah that's him.

Alright, let's go.

Yeah.

Let's go.

Out of the car mate,

let's go.

Now.

Tony?

Freddy wants to have a word or two.

See the car over there?

Get in the fucking car over there.

The gold car.

Let's go, let's fuckin' go.

Get in the fuckin' car.

You fuckin' around?

Get in the fuckin' car.

Your gonna fuckin' move
now, I got a gun on you.

Get in the fuckin' car.

I like cuffs,

put 'em on.

Alright, on the floor, now.

On the fuckin' floor now.

Max? Get in the fuckin' car.

Get your fucking head down
you fuckin' shit stink.

What did I say about keeping
your fuckin' head in here?

I have to fuckin' tell you again, cunt,

And I'll fuckin' do you,

alright?

And you fuckin' move
when I tell you to move,

alright?

Right?

Yeah.

Hey dude,

Hey man.

Good morn.

This is Max,

Max, Ben.

Hey Ben.

What's with the camera?

Oh just a,

making a documentary.

I'm a film student.

About what?

About Ray.

Your making a documentary on,

about you?

Why?

Well, you know, we're kind of,

kind of neighbors.

Sit down too.

I'm gonna get a drink,

you want a drink?

Um, I'm still on...

Yeah, you want a drink?

Yeah.

Just a coke?

Yeah.

You know I'll get ya' a chair too.

Thanks.

So how long have you known Ben for?

Jesus,

bout three years.

Three or four.

Good mates?

Oh we used to be.

Yeah, we used to be pretty good mates,

but

Eh, he's got on-

He's got on the smack a bit in the last

good eighteen months or so,

so,

he's gone down hill a bit.

But

yeah, I mean I'll see him occasionally,

and you know...

You know, I'm tellin' you.

What would the drug
squad want to set you up?

I don't know.

Maybe you know, some-

Maybe you know fuckin'

fuckin' berg ya know?

Someones house fuckin' years ago.

And-

What that got to do
with the fuckin' drug squad?

Like you know, it's one of-

I don't know,

a relation or

friend of a friend, of a friend

and it's found out that it was-

Look mate, just
tell me if ya been-

Look's like you have
been telling the cops.

If you have,

tell me, and I can help ya.

If your gonna bullshit me,

there's nothing I can fuckin' do for you.

I haven't-

Have you been taking to-

Listen,

look at me.

Have you been talking to the cops?

Look at me, eh?

Yes or no?

Not in the context
that your talking about.

I haven't been-

I haven't been you know,

fuckin' interviewed by them.

And I'm not the informant.

You know, I'm not telling
them shit about anyone.

But you have
been talking to the cops.

Couple of dudes.

Right.

- But not like that.
- It's a free system-

I can't see how
this has gotten back to you.

Just-

Dude.

Just listen right,

I told ya' it would get back to you,

right?

He's gonna go on an fuckin' brain school.

Ya' know?

Really, I can't-

I can't imagine that he says,

'cause I said to em' here-

Listen, listen-

Let's just cut the shit.

Cut the small talk,

come on.

Freddy said to me,

'get rid of him.'

You know?

Do we have to
have that fuckin' camera on

when your talking about this shit man,

Come on?

Ya wanna just?

Okay.

No offense mate,

you seem like a nice guy...

We're talkin'-

we're talking some heavy stuff here,

ya' know?

It's fine.

Don't worry, don't worry a bit.

I'm just regretting
saying a few things,

of anything I've said.

He will edit it out.

Yeah.

Don't worry a bit.

Don't worry about the camera,

ya know.

Were you mad he
was a drug dealer? Or...

Yeah he was actually dealing for Freddy.

Alright.

He was dealing smack for Freddy.

And a,

and he started using and a,

that's it yeah...

And so then the
friendship falling apart

a little bit? Or,

Oh, yeah.

Or just, you lost touch?

Yeah we kinda just don't-

we sort of move in
different circles a bit now,

so we just see each other that much.

Um,

but yeah we still get on alright.

But,

I mean he's changed a bit
from what he used to be.

Which is kind of sad.

And that's the way it goes.

What about if I
go and and speak to Freddy

and sort it out?

No.

Don't you fuckin'-

I'll do some Berg's for ya.

There's fuckin' punks
settled on-

He might be into it.

You can do as many berg's as you want,

but don't go to the cops.

Wide screen television.

Forget it,

forget it...

I want to hear better,

don't fuckin' about
wide screen televisions.

Right?

What I want hear is,

now this is juvenile as fuck-

Get into the house through the roof.

Take of the

the tiles in the roof,

get in through the roof,

there's a man hole in the roof.

Here's $350.

$350.

That will get you at Melbourne.

Nah, I don't feel-

I don't want your money man.

Just fuckin' take it, alright?

At least this way

I've done all I can, alright?

Okay,

you get to Sidney.

- Nah, No.
- You get to Sydney,

Nah, no, no. Nah, nah, nah,

- Sit down, sit down.
- Let's go mate.

- Nah, sit down.
- No.

You get to Sidney,

Dude, sit down. Sit down.

If you need more money,
give me a call. Right?

Ray. Sit down man.

That's it for now,

and I'm not gonna talk to you again.

Alright, I'm gonna try my best. Alright.

Sit down. Sit down.

Alright, nah.

Let's go mate.

Turn, better turn off.

Turn the camera off.

Before becoming a hit man,

what did you do?

I was in the army.

In the army,

for a long time?

Eight years.

Eight years?

Was that like the only other job you did?

Or did you something else
before getting into the army?

Oh I did a bit of sort of
kitchen aid sort of stuff,

before I went into the army.

Sort of bummed around a bit,

did a bit of short of part time stuff.

then basically went into the army.

And what did you-

Did you quit the army.

Nah, I got discharged.

You got discharged?

Any particular reason?

Like-

Oh, I just

had a bit of a problem with

with a guy and...

Ya know?

Like a superior, or...?

Yeah, yeah.

Bit of a personality clash.

Okay.

Let's go.

What's up Ray?

I have ta' do that.

Out in the boot then.

On ya get.

Dude,

I don't mean any disrespect,

but I suffer from claustrophobia.

Yeah, your gonna suffer
from somethin' else

if you don't fuckin' get in there.

Put the light on him, will ya.

Don't be shy on me.

Get your fat ass in the fuckin' car.

You want to sit in the front?

Yeah.

What about, Guns of Navarone?

You seen that?

Yeah,

Guns of Navarone - Yeah.

It's a classic.

- Yeah.
- Good film, good film.

Dirty Dozen?

Dirty fucking classic.

Oh yeah it's classic,

but it's not really a war movie.

It's more-

that's an actors movie.

Well it's a war movie though.

The perform-

yeah but the performances
of the actors are there,

their fuckin' brilliant.

Yeah, quite eh,

fuckin' good actors, right.

You couldn't do that now though.

He couldn't make a fuckin' movie

with that many good actors in it.

That's true,

I mean,

If you'd make it now

it would cost you to
produce only you know,

to get the actors.

Yeah.

Fucking.

hundreds and hundreds of millions,

Yeah.

just for the actor.

I mean,

you had Aldrich,

Charlie Bronson,

ya had Jim Brown,

I mean,

fuckin' bleedin' actors.

Ay, Clint Eastwood.

Yeah?

What about him?

Well he was good in it.

Yeah, brilliant he is.

He's a good actor.

He's a brilliant actor but

he wasn't in Dirty Dozen.

He was mate,

in the fuckin' Dirty Dozen.

He fuckin' wasn't mate.

He was fuckin' so.

Come on, come on,

I mean you must make
mistake, I don't know.

I'm not mistaken.

I've seen the movie,

yeah, a couple of weeks ago.

Clint Eastwood definitely
isn't in the Dirty Dozen.

He is mate, he shoots
a guy with a silencer.

No, no, no.

He goes in this room,

there's a guy sitting at the radio

and he goes in,

he's got a Nazi uniform on,

and he goes in with a silencer
and he shoots the guy.

Yeah I know who you talking about,

that's not Clint Eastwood.

No.

Can't quite remember
the name of the actor,

but that's definitely not

Clint Eastwood.

I bet ya' fuckin'
hundred bucks mate,

it was Clint Eastwood.

Fuck you,

I'll bet you a thousand bucks.

You got a thousand bucks?

Of course man.

Yeah sure.

Yeah.

Yeah, alright, okay.

What's up?

Nothing.

So what did you-

Who's in the Dirty Dozen?

The movie?

No the musical.

Have you seen the movie?

Yeah.

The Dirty Dozen?

Yep. Right.

Who was in it?

Donald Sutherland?

Lee Marvin?

Clint Eastwood?

Was he?

Clint Eastwood?

Yeah.

No, no.

He was in

Where Eagles Dare with Richard Burton.

But he definitely wasn't
in The Dirty Dozen-

Mate?

Alright, there ya are.

I'm not paying up.

He doesn't know what the
fuck he's talking about.

We'll get it on video.

So why did you him then?

Do you wanna get in the boot with him?

Not particularly.

Then will you shut the fuck up.

And get in the fuckin' car.

Fuck that light hurts, ya know.

Yeah, but we need it.

The whole thing
about disposing the bodies,

because after all,

I mean, what's important is
that you don't get caught.

But then, sooner or later

the bodies get found.

Not if I'm doing it.

So you make sure that-

Yeah.

That they just disappear.

Yeah.

You got no body, you got no cops.

I mean,

the cops have got no body,

all they've got is a missing person.

Yeah, so there-

So their not gonna come
round asking questions,

and ya know,

so,

No evidence.

Yeah, yeah.

Just put one over here.

Over here.

Over here.

There.

Stand there.

Fast, move.

Alright.

Over there mate,

go over by the car.

Start digging.

It's eighty grand, cash.

It's all fuckin' small bills.

What the hell you doing
with eighty grand, cash?

Oh, let's just call it
a bit of a nest egg.

A nest egg,

and where is it,

where's this money?

Just out of Bathurst.

Yeah, where?

On a,

me old mans property, up there.

Where abouts on the property?

It's marked, but it's not easily-

You can't just walk around
there and get it because um,

anyone would dig it up.

Come on man,

I got a daughter.

Just fuckin' dig,

I don't give a shit about your daughter.

Anybody got any chewey on them?

Max?

You got any chew?

Let me see.

Eh?

Maybe.

Yeah?

Yep.

Yeah?

Not that sugar free,
fuckin' poofter chew is it?

Nah.

What is it?

PK,

it'll have to do.

Juicy Fruit's the preferred.

What are you doing?

What's this shit?

What's that? What do you call that,

you call that digging?

No, I'm brea-

What's that?

I'm breaking
the shit off the edges.

Your breaking the shit off the edges?

You break the shit off the edges

we'll be here till fuckin' Christmas.

Dig the hole.

Put your foot on top of the spade, right,

push into the ground.

That's how you dig a fuckin' hole.

But the dirt's too hard.

The dirt's too hard is it?

It's pretty hard.

If I spit the chewy out-

With eighty grand you could buy

eighty million packs-

Eh, eh, I'm fuckin' talking here.

Do ya mind.

Just dig the fuckin' hole.

If I spit the chewy out,

and then have a cigarette,

then there's only one chewy left.

Yeah.

Is it alright if I have that chewy?

Yeah.

I just don't want to take
your last chewy that's all.

You can have it.

No worries.

I don't want to fuckin' have it now.

Well you can buy-

What is that, every fuckin'
times do I have to tell ya

to stop jabbing the shovel
in the fuckin' ground.

Put your foot on the top of the shovel.

Now, put your foot on-

That's it,

now push.

That's what I want you to do.

If I see you again,
jabbin' the fuckin' shovel

in the ground like that,

I'm gonna shoot you in the fuckin' head

and dig the fuckin' hole myself.

Alright.

Alright?

Fuckin' handle this.

I mean,

what does it take for me
to fuckin' prove to you

that I will fuckin' disappear,

I guarantee you, disappear.

I'm not fuckin'.

Fuck.

Ray, eighty grand
is a lot of money after all.

Eighty grand is
a lot of money after all.

You might think
of retiring yourself.

Even if you don't fuckin'

I'll not fuck an eighty grand mate.

Past it up against the wall,

what ever.

Fuck it's still a significant
lump sum of money.

And not many people can say,

yeah I got eighty grand fuckin'
cash sitting in my pocket,

or whatever.

And like I fuckin' say,

I guarantee disappear.

I'm fuckin' gone,

I'm out of here,

I'm fuckin' 'poof'.

And you'll never,

no one will ever hear me,

see me,

or smell me ever again.

And in fact, what if we get there,

at least fuckin',

at least see that the money exists,

and that has got to be some kind of token

that I will fuckin' go.

If I'm not bull-shitting
about the fuckin' money,

then I'm not bull-shitting
about fuckin' disappearing.

It's not like

it's really any fuckin'
major fuckin' trial

or tribulation to fuckin'-

You to fuckin' to stop this now.

All you're doing is
postponing the inevitable

rather than fuckin'-

Put she shovel down.

Bull shit.

Stay in the fuckin' hole.

Sit down.

Come on man, you
don't have to do this.

Just sit down.

The money,

it's there.

Sit the-

Don't pick that fuckin' shovel up.

Sit down.

If I was gonna shoot ya,
I just fuckin' shoot ya.

Alright?

Just sit down.

Don't you worry about it.

You just fuckin' sit down.

Fuckin' take a break.

Relax, take it easy.

Max, could I
grab a smoke off you mate?

That be alright?

Yeah sure. No prob.

Eh, eh, excuse me.

Your not fuckin' smoking,

it's not a fuckin' smoke out break.

You stay there,

you move,

they'll be fuckin' trouble.

Now,

just kick that light on.

Oh fuck it.

Get in.

Not in there,

in the boot.

Not the boot again.

Don't start this shit,

just get in the fuckin' boot.

But I went the
last eight hours in there.

I'll fuckin' die.

I'm claustrophobic for fucks sake.

Alright, would you prefer the hole or

they boot.

But listen,

what's the problem with
him sitting in the back?

Have you smelled him?

Well he pissed himself.

I'm claustrophobic.

Yeah, well your not sitting in the car

fuckin' stink-afy my car up?

Look mate,

it's not even your car.

You stole it.

So what's your point?

So, what do you care?

I've got to sit in it.

I got to drive eight
hours up to Bathhurst,

I'm not driving that far with
this guy stinking or piss.

Well, I'll take me jocks off.

And what are you gonna wear in the car?

Nothing.

Your not fucking sitting in there

with your fuckin' dick hanging out.

Why don't you
give him your underpants.

Give him your underpants, pal.

I'm not giving him mine.

Okay.

I'll do it.

Hold the camera.

Hold the camera.

Yeah, by the legs,

right good.

Thanks man.

No worries.

I appreciate this.

Tony, how long have
you been dealing drugs?

Since I was about 15.

So about eight years.

Are you 23 now?

Yeah.

And what sort of
drugs are you dealing with?

These days, just ickies.

But it all started with
pot, when I was about 15.

There was a market there.

A market there, where?

In school.

In school.

Yeah.

Lot of kids smoking pot at school,

ya know?

So, I was happy to provide
them with what they required.

Yeah I'm living comfortably now,

that's for sure.

How much do you make in a year?

About,

I'd say I probably clear
a hundred grad a year.

Geeze, it's not bad.

Nah, it's not good either.

It's no biggie, ya know?

It's not like I'm some big boss,

drug dealing crime lord or anything.

I'm small fry.

So is your daughter
living with your wife?

Yeah.

Ya know, I see her like

once a month.

And maybe a couple of night-

Like a weekend a month,

and then maybe a couple of
nights through the week,

here and there.

Depending on how Michelle feels.

So, what does your wife do?

How does she support
herself and her daughter?

She's on the Dole at the moment.

So do you pass on money to them?

Oh fuckin' yeah.

I might be a drug dealer,
but I'm not a scum bag.

Nah, I look after my daughter.

I love her with every bit my heart.

When your breaking into it.

Yeah.

Eh.

Yeah?

What they get?

Everything.

TV, stereo,

VCR,

DVD player.

Did you tell the other cops?

Yes I did,

but you know...

And I actually,

I actually even know who did the job.

But,

the cops can't do anything
because there's no,

you know?

There's no evidence.

Who do you think did it?

Who do I think,

I'm sure that it's this guy Edna is gotta-

He's a junkie, that I used to live with

in Carlton years ago.

Yeah.

I mean the guys been in jail,

you know for robbery,

so, you know.

Yeah.

And but apart from all that,

after I spoke to the cops I,

I went to wrong place,

and you know?

He denied it but,

he denied it in a way that that,

'Yes, I fucked you mate'.

Ya know?

You can't do anything,

so...

So that's who ya know?

And where's he live, this guy?

Brunswick.

Well...

I'm so pissed off.

What about we go around there and

I'll have a chat to him.

So what you gonna do?

I'm just gonna have a word to him.

See what he says.

What if he denies it?

What if he-

I'll sort him out.

What do you mean sort him out?

Well ya know how I sort out things.

Yeah?

Well...

Look, listen,

I don't really feel comfortable with this.

Could you,

could you just go and talk to him?

Well I can talk to him,

but I mean you spoke to him,

he's denied it to you.

He's probably just pretty
much gonna deny it to me,

so I mean...

You know I can talk to him,

but I don't think that's
gonna get me very far.

Yes, but,

could you just do me this favor,

just go and talk without
using any violence,

and see you know,

and see what happens.

Okay. Alright, yeah,

see what happens,

but what happens if he denies it?

What do I-

Well, we'll think about it later.

Just go,

and without you know,

without even thinking of hitting him.

Just try to

talk and convince him.

Can you do that?

I know,

I mean it's a favor I'm asking you.

I know what your methods are,

but you know...

Could you do that?

Man, fuck off.

What about the drug-

your drug issue?

What is your position?

Do you think it should be legalized?

What do you think?

Well I think if ya',

probably three quarters of your-

three quarters of your crime at the moment

is probably drug related.

So, if you get rid of drugs,

you'd basically, three
quarters of your crime

your gonna wipe out over night, so...

You know?

From a public point of view,
it's probably a good idea.

I mean, they've had this
war on drugs for the last

what?

20 years or so?

And I don't see that they've
actually stopped anybody.

I mean, everyone is still taking them.

All people are taking them every day.

I mean you can't-

You can't stop people doing
something they want to do.

You know, if they want to go and

If I want to go and do drugs or,

ya know, shoot up, nobody's gonna stop me.

You know what I mean?

Johnny here thinks he's gonna
stop me from doing drugs,

I mean he's fuckin', ya know,

It ain't gonna happen.

You want to just go through there?

Yeah, okay.

Just watch that pole will ya mate.

Yeah.

You know,

it's oh, you know, legalize it.

Um, and a lot less people
are gonna die of

But don't you
think that free access

to such a dangerous substances

would have a very bad impact
on the public's health.

Well the only people that are gonna-

Like heroin freaks for example,

the only person who's gonna take heroin's

a fuckin' idiot on the first place.

So, you know...

All it's gonna do is
thin out the dick heads.

You know what I mean?

I mean like,

as far I'm concerned,

if your stupid enough to take heroin,

your a fuckin' idiot,

and you deserve to fuckin' die anyways.

So...

Happy?

What did he say?

Well, what do you think he said?

Now look,

let's go then.

Just-

Nah mate, I'm not going anywhere.

I'm gonna sort this fuckin' prick out.

Alright.

Look, listen,

I don't feel comfortable with that.

Yeah, well that's a bit
late for that now man.

Hold on.

Hang on, hang on, hang on.

Listen, listen, listen.

Okay,

I understand I'm not gonna stop you.

Well ya' can't.

Well,

but could you please use the least,

the least amount of violence necessary?

Can you do that?

Can you try to use the least-

I'll try to use the least
amount amount of violence

necessary.

- Okay?
- Yes, yes.

Are you cool with that?

I'm cool with that. Yeah.

Thanks, I really appreciate that.

Okay, can I go now.

Yeah.

Okay.

Oh no...

Jesus Christ.

That fuckin' prick.

Your CD player,

your DVD player,

Yeah.

he's gotten rid of those.

What do you reckon they
would have cost ya'?

If you bought them now?

About at least a grand?

A grand?

Alright.

You owe him two grand, alright?

What day is it today?

Today, Wednesday.

Okay, you got till next Wednesday,

that's a week.

Right,

to come up with two grand.

You know where he lives,

Right?

If you don't come up with
the two grand in a week

I'll be coming back here.

Alright?

And you know what's gonna happen.

Right, okay,

now apologize.

Man I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry.

It's okay?

Happy with that?

Yeah, it's alright.

Happy? Yeah?

Yeah.

Alright, piss off.

A week.

Happy chappy?

So, that's your
least amount of violence?

But that seemed the maximum.

You say you have children?

Yep.

How many?

One?

Boy or girl?

Girl.

How old is she?

She's seven.

Seven.

Yeah.

Do you see her?

I used to see her.

I used to see her a fair bit but,

my ex-wife she moved up to Queensland.

She's remarried so...

Yeah, it's kinda-

Makes it hard, yeah.

Yeah I mean,

I'd like to see her, but...

I feel like I'm kind of

like a hanger on to-

You know, I'm out of the loop.

You know what I mean?

They got the little family going and

I go up there and I feel
like that guy, yeah,

I feel like,

You know...

You still in good
relations with your ex-wife?

Yeah, look,

you know,

pretty good.

I mean I don't talk to her that much,

but yeah, I mean-

Yeah, there's not hate-

Nah, there's not hate
or anything like that.

You know, just-

What do you want?

Just get us a hamburger.

But what do you want on it?

Just get us a plain one.

Alright.

But onions.

You get extra sauce too,

like you know those little sauce packets?

Little plastic ones?

Like tomato sauce you mean?

Yeah. Tomato sauce.

Don't put tomato sauce on it.

Yeah.

I don't put that much, just a little.

Little packet.

No worries.

Anything to drink?

Just get us a Big M, ice coffee.

Alright.

Yeah, you want sugar in it?

Do I want sugar in it?

Yeah?

Nah, it comes with sugar in it.

It's a Big M, it's a flavored milk thing.

Oh that's

They put it in already so,
yeah, don't worry about it.

So they got sugar in it already.

Tony?

Something to drink?

Something to eat?

Yes please.

What do you want?

What do they got?

Hamburgers and stuff, I don't know.

They have souvlakis?

I reckon.

If they got souvlaki,
I'll have a chicken souvlaki please.

Chicken Souvlaki.

But if they don't have chicken,

I'll just have a hamburger with the lot.

A hamburger with the lot.

Yeah.

Alright, something to drink?

Yeah just a coke please.

Just a coke, good.

Ray, could you hold the
camera for me please?

And, just make sure it doesn't
fall off the dash. Yeah.

Alright, yeah.

I'm good.

Max?

Yep?

Can you ask them to
put extra garlic sauce

on there please?

On the souvlaki.

On the souvlaki?

Yep.

No worries.

But if they don't have garlic sauce,

Yeah.

I'll just have the hamburger instead.

Just get him
the fucking hamburger.

You married?

Why do you want to know?

I don't know. I'm just
making conversation.

Any kids?

If you could have any car,

like in the world,

what would it be?

Porsche.

Like new one, or one
of the old classics?

Turbo, four wheel,

lightest one at least.

Lightest turbo.

Cool.

What about you?

Oh mate, I've got this
beautiful Commodore,

and it's not in the best
condition but I love it.

What sort?

VK.

Yeah, but...

You know, if money was no option,
I would I wouldn't buy some

shmee car Ferrari or anything,

I just do her up.

What is it, what's the Commodore?

VK.

A VK, you'd rather have a
VK Commodore than a Ferrari?

Yeah, yeah for sure.

I'm not-

I mean, I'm not a big
rough head sort of car man,

so...

Or anything ya' know.

Simple pleasures.

So if somebody gave you a choice,

they gave you a $500,000
Ferrari and a VK Commodore,

you'd take the VK Commodore?

Not any VK Commodore,
I'd take my VK Commodore.

You'd take your VK
Commodore over a Ferrari.

If I had the cost of the Ferrari in cash

to be able to spend on,

on the Commodore, that's a-

How are you gonna spend 500
grand on a fuckin' Commodore?

I wouldn't have to,

but you know like-

Probably cost me to have it
completely shmeaking as new,

kinda thing,

probably 10, 20 grand or something.

You know, get it all done,

by the people in the know.

Do a bit me-self but...

Have you been to the Mardi Gras?

The gay Mardi Gras?

Yeah well, is there
any non gay Mardi Gras?

Yeah.

And have you been?

They gay Mardi Gras?

Yeah.

No.

Why not?

I mean if you been to
Sydney? It's one of the-

Why would I want to go
to the gay Mardi Gras for?

Because it's
fun, lot's of people go.

Yeah?

Lot's of people go.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But why would I go?

Am I lot's of people?

What are you trying to say?

You trying to say I'm a poof?

No. No.

Then why you asking me if
I'm going to Mardi Gras for?

Have you been to Mardi Gras?

Well I've never
been to Sydney but-

Well why haven't you
been to the Mardi Gras?

There's a Mardi Gras
down here in Melbourne.

Is there?

Yeah, St. Kilda has one.

Have you been there?

No.

- How come?
- I didn't know.

You didn't know, why not?

That's not good enough.

Well, it didn't
come to it you know.

And nobody told me.

I don't know.

But you know, probably
because I don't

If you'd have known would you have gone?

Probably would have.

Okay.

Yeah.

I mean-

'Cause your a poof.

No.

So your against-

Have you got something
against homosexuals?

Oh look, I don't think I've
got anything against them.

I mean it's not my cup
of tea, but you know.

What ever blows your whistle.

Is that right?

Yeah.

Because you know,

your a very attractive man, you know.

Your a very beautiful man.

Fascinating man.

Charming at times.

Yeah, keep going.

Yeah, I mean you,

ya' know?

I definitely think you should go.

Yeah?

Yeah?

Well maybe we'll go together.

Hey,

What's going on?

Nothing.

What are you doing?

Going home.

What are you doing here?

I live here.

What are you doing in Melbourne?

What did I say to you
last time I spoke to you?

I went to Sydney for a
couple of weeks, alright.

Things didn't work out.

Let's go.

Where?

We are gonna go for a little drive,

Fuck.

Let's go.

You pick a state. Alright?

Why are we going for a drive?

We're gonna go, I'm gonna drive ya'

to where ever the fuck
you want to go, alright.

Where do you wanna go?

Dude, you know-

If I come with you,

just tell me that nothing
bad is gonna happen.

Nothing bad is gonna happen

as long as you do what
I fuckin' tell to do.

If I was gonna whack ya' mate,

you'd be fuckin' dead already, right?

I would have done ya in the
fuckin' alley back there.

Alright?

You can pick the fuckin' state.

Where do you want to go?

Well pick one,

'cause we got to fuckin' drive some.

So, where do you want to go?

To Queensland.

What ever is easier for you.

What ever is easier for me?

How 'bout I fuckin' shoot
you right here in the alley,

that's easy for me.

That good for you?

Okay, he's gay,

he's kicking around Hollywood
and that sort of shit.

He doesn't want to be gay

because he feels like it
will damage his career.

'Cause at the time he was

being young and gay, was,

you know?

Gayness was still pretty 'ed upon.

His fuckin' all these blokes,

left, right, an center.

You like this, man?

Well, it sounds to
me like a pile of bullshit.

It is, it's like a pile of bullshit too.

Yeah, we'll just keep listening.

Till this makes a bit more sense.

That's what,

how many people in Hollywood
you think are gay then?

Is everybody gay in Hollywood?

Most, well

a fair proportion.

Well if he's gay,

I want to be gay too.

Think being gay-

Made you get, yeah,

the same women-

Women he gets.

I wish I could get
the kind of women he gets.

I want to be gay.

I want to be gay too.

Man look at the fuckin' puppets.

You can be gay but there's not much porn

because he's got these,

relatively attractive women
hanging off his shoulder,

but it's all a fuckin' sham.

So he's not having sex with them?

No.

There's

That sounds a bit-

Hang on, does
he have his own kids?

I know, I know,

listen,

because even the women he marries...

Yeah?

They're gay too.

They're, I mean according
to Tony's theory-

No, I didn't say everyone
in Hollywood is gay,

and I certainly didn't
say all women are gay.

But there's a lot of gay men.

It's a pretty fuckin' gay
profession if you think about it.

Through fuckin' history
there's been a lot of gay

poofter fuckin' blokes actors.

My balls ain't
hanging out are they?

Can you do one arm?

Fuck that now.

I'm gonna jump in the shower, right.

Okay.

Keep an eye on him, alright?

Max?

What?

Do you reckon-

Do you reckon he's gonna let me go?

No.

I can't guarantee anything.

I think he's gonna let you go.

I mean, I'll have a word with him.

But I'm pretty sure your gonna make it.

Your gonna make it up with this.

But of course,

I can't guarantee.

So,

what if-

What if you let me go now,

right now, while he's in there.

No, can't do that.

But he won't-

He's not going to do anything to you.

No.

Your not a criminal.

No.

That Ray guy in there,

if I let you go he's not
going to be a happy chappy.

And that is the last thing I want to see.

Ray not being a happy chappy.

You know what I mean?

So, don't ask me again.

Sure.

Having a chat are you guys?

Are you doing fine down there?

Okay.

So what the camera cost you?

Well, around about

5 thousand.

What the fuck you doing?

Well I'm getting to bed.

What you taking
your pants off for?

Well I can't
sleep with my pants on.

Well you'll not
fucking sleep next to me

with your fuckin' cock hanging out, pal.

What do you mean?

What do I mean?

I mean your not sleeping next to me

with your fuckin' bare ass.

Well I'm not
gonna fuck you up the ass

if that's the wor-

Yeah, well I don't want
to take any fuckin' chances,

alright.

Come on.

No.

How long have we known each other?

Not fuckin' enough
for you to sleep next to me

fuckin' naked.

I don't mean to interrupt here,

but I don't think it would matter

how long I might have know someone.

A bloke I'd feel pretty weird

about sleeping with if he was naked.

Look pal,

I gave you my undies.

So shut the fuck up.

I appreciate that.

I indebted to you for that.

So,

You sleep however you want.

Good.

No, you sleep with
your fuckin' pants on.

Right?

Or you could sleep on the couch.

Alright?

On the couch.

Yeah,

if you want to sleep with no pants on-

Yeah, but,

I mean there's no other blankets.

That's not my problem.

Just sleep with your fuckin' pants on.

What's the big deal?

I got my pants on.

But I'm not used to.

Come on.

Not used to what?

To sleep with my pants on.

Well your just gonna
have to get used to it.

Right?

You big poofter.

So Ben,

do you follow footy?

Yeah.

Who do you barrack for?

North Melbourne.

North Melbourne.

Isn't it the team where that
guy fucked his mate's wife?

What's his name? What's his name?

Wayne Carey.

Wayne Carey, that's him.

That's him.

So he's the captain and he
fucks vice captain's wife.

You know, not very smart.

He must be really nice guy.

Oh you know, fuckin' wasn't
the smartest thing to do,

but everyone makes mistakes Max.

Well-

It's not a fuckin' mistake mate.

Sticking your fuckin' dick
in your best mates wife,

that ain't a mistake.

Yeah it is. Its a mistake-

How is that a mistake?

'Cause you know,

it's like a life mistake.

Fuckin' life mistake.

Like you make life mistakes?

But a mistake is more like,

if you go to school or
you misspell a word,

that's a mistake.

Yeah, that's a mistake.

Somebody asks you to spell
cat, and you spell it c.o.t.

That's a mistake.

But sticking you dick
in your best mates wife

it's not a mistake.

Unless it was dark when he fucked her.

So it was the
wrong decision then.

Which is I guess-

'Cause I mean Carey
knew what he was doing

was wrong,

he knew that it wasn't his wife.

He knew who's wife it was.

He knew he was wrong.

But he did it anyway.

So that's not a mistake.

Mistake is when you don't know

it's wrong when your doing it.

Well I reckon he
deserves a second chance.

He's already had a second chance.

This is the second time he's
pulled some shit like this.

He's bloody went to court
a couple of years ago

for feeling up a chicks tits.

What's wrong with that?

What's wrong with-

What's wrong with what?

Feeling up a chicks tits?

Just feeling the titties.

Look if she's
happy for you to do it

then that's great.

But she wasn't.

How do you know
she just wasn't lying

like

Look you have to
go by what the court says.

I mean the court says,

you know, they heard all the evidence

and they said, yep.

You know.

Don't believe everything read.

Oh look you, I mean-

I mean I think your just biased.

I mean your a North Melbourne supporter

so of course everything Wayne Carey does-

Nah.

I mean you think the
sun shines out his ass.

The great outdoors.

That's it mate.

So I'm supposed to
take a shit out there?

Well you can do it
in the road if you like?

No. What am I supposed
to do to wipe my ass?

Thanks.

Pitiful.

I ain't showing you fuckin' cock.

I wouldn't.

So Ray,

how much would it take for you

to eat a bowl of shit?

A bowl of shit?

Yeah.

Let's say they

presented you with

the offer.

You know, money for eating a bowl of shit.

How big is the bowl?

Just a cereal bowl.

Normal bowl.

Who's shit?

It's shit though, does it matter?

Well it matters mate.

What's the difference in-

Shit is shit.

Shit ain't shit.

Big difference between my
shit and somebody else's shit.

Well, what's the difference?

Well it's my shit.

I don't want to eat somebody
else's fuckin' shit.

Okay, okay.

Let's say it's your shit then.

Yeah.

How much would it
take for you to eat it?

Hundred grand.

Hundred grand?

That's for a bowl of your shit.

How 'bout my shit?

Half a mil.

Half a mil.

So about five times.

Why, why?

What's the-I mean,

my shit is definitely is
going to be better than yours,

since I eat a lot better.

Yeah, but it's your shit.

Yeah?

So it doesn't matter how good you eat.

It's never gonna be better than my shit.

Well,

well let's leave it like that.

So how much to eat my shit, for you?

I wouldn't.

You wouldn't eat my shit,

for any money in the world?

Well I wouldn't eat your shit,

I wouldn't eat my shit.

I just really-

You know, I'm not into shit.

Yeah, well I'm not big on shit either.

Fucking hell.

I mean I won't do it for free.

Where's your jacket?

Wipe my ass with it.

Fuck.

You know, let's go.

I don't get it.

Did he suffer?

Oh, I don't
think he did, but still-

Eh, there ya' go mate.

That's why I did it.

He didn't suffer.

If somebody had to do it,

somebody else who didn't
give a shit about him,

he would have fuckin' suffered.

Right?

Understand?

I understand yes,

but I don't understand how you can-

I mean-

Still, you killed him.

I mean,

you killed your friend.

He had to go, right?

Somebody was gonna do it, right?

If not me, somebody else, right?

That somebody else, right,

would have made him suffer.

He would have known it was coming.

He would have been pissing his pants,

and crying his fuckin' eyes out.

Right.

And if that's the way he's gonna go,

I didn't want him to fuckin' go like that.

Now, at least this way he
didn't fuckin' suffer. Alright.

Turn it off me.

You gonna let him go?

See how we go.

What does it depend on?

I mean, I think

he's been honest and I
don't think he's gonna,

you know,

fuck around.

I think the money's there and
everything will go smooth.

What do you think?

We'll yeah, I mean,
if the money's there.

I'll make up my mind then, I guess.

If he doesn't, you know?

If he shows his face back
there in Melbourne again,

you know, that's not good for me.

I don't think he will.

Yeah, but that's the thing.

I mean, there's no guarantee.

I mean, if he ends up in jail.

He goes to Queensland
and ends up in jail...

You know I don't-

You know,

I don't think it's such a
good idea to let him go.

Alright.

Before you say anything,

I know it's not 80 cash.

I didn't know what else to tell you,

I thought,

if I told you that it was cash
you would be more inclined

to take me up on the offer.

But that is half a key
of pure, uncut coke.

And you'll easily get

a hundred grand for it.

What am I supposed to do with it?

Do I look like a fuckin' drug dealer?

Well, er, but no.

But you know drug dealers.

Or I know drug dealers,

I've got contacts.

And if I-

I mean I can talk to them and say look,

I got this half a key, pure, 80 grand.

They'll snaffle it up,

because it's worth so much more than that.

Well not heaps, heaps more.

But it's cheap.

And so their guaranteed to buy it.

I guarantee you can-

you can off load in 24 hours.

And if I had said to you, 'I
got a bag of coke up there.'

I don't think you would have-

Ray?

Do you understand or forgive me?

Do you understand where I'm coming from?

'Cause I mean, if you were
in the same situation,

your gonna say what yo-

I'm not bullshitting.

That's like a powdered cash.

80 thousand dollars in
powdered cash right there.

Ray?

Let's go.

Take off.

Hold on.

Take off.

What, fuckin' go?

Piss off.

Know what piss off means?

Come on, he told you to go, go.

Thanks Ray.

Just fuckin' go.

Thanks Max.

Go, go.

I won't forget this.

Hope to fuck you don't.

Go on, disappear.

Got the ugliest
pair of fuckin' underpants

I've ever seen in my life.

What do you mean?

Their mine.

That is if you
are watching that means-

Right, yeah I get you.

Like what Pauline Hanson did.

Where she said you know,

if your watching this, I'm dead.

Sort of thing.

Kind of thing, yes.

Alright.

Like I'm dead.

When people see this, I'm dead already.

Yes. Yes.

But they don't know.

So you have to tell them.

I mean, they might know.

It depends how you die, you know?

Yeah alright.

If you not die
some spectacular way,

Yeah.

and you get
you know, to be famous.

Which would be good
because then I would make

a little bit of money out of this.

If you actually became famous.

Yeah, well-

Yeah, but your gonna be fucked.

Am I?

Well, this comes out,

people see me killing people,

and you were there,

I mean, that makes you an accessory.

Well I'll figure
a way not to, you know.

I'll just get the money.

You'll just get the money.

I don't care about fame.

Head off to South America with it.

Yes.

Yeah, alright.

So I'm just saying, I'm dead, that's it.

Yep.

Like if you are, you know?

If your watching this that means that

and you know.

Yeah, I'm dead, bla, bla, bla.

And you know,
be kind of dead serious.

Serious?

But humorous.

Okay.

Yep, you want me to look there?

Or at you.

Yeah, nah-

There?

Camera, camera lens.

But your no Marlon Brando.

That's what you're trying to do now.

Nah, that's cool, that's cool.

Yeah? Alright.

So you just tell me when to-

Any time.

Right now? Yeah?

Yeah.

Roll? Okay.

The rit-

It's okay, it's okay.

Just got to think
about what I'm gonna say.

Alright, okay.

You rolling?

Yep.

Alright.

So the reason that um-

I agreed-

I mean, I decided I was gonna-

Fuckin' man its tough.

How's it going?

When I agreed to make this documentary,

I agreed on one condition.

The condition-

The condition was-

that the public would only
get to see this film if

I was dead.

After I was dead.

So if your seeing this now,

basically means that,

you know.

I'm no longer with us, sort of thing.

So,

Yeah, I hope you, you know...

Enjoy the,

enjoy the show.

How was that?

Max, what are you doing?

I'm gonna
catch the tram, up here.

Yeah.

What about you?

I go on a train, alright.

Alright, well,

well we-

You know, I'll give you a
call, you give me a call and-

Yeah, yeah.

Definitely mate.

And

well thanks very much.

Has been like, great.

Of course mate.

See you soon.

Alright, keep in touch.

Alright, sure.

Pretty good.

Fucking leapt over.

Well.