All language subtitles for Poppas House s01e01 Pilot.eng

Hey, Dad.

Boy.

Hey, Pop,

I need a favor.

Son, can I at least get
a sip of tea

before you start
asking me for favors?

Yeah.

Hey, yeah. You do
your thing, man.

Sip it up.

(cartoonish voice):
Can you hear this? (slurps)

Can you pick the kids
up from school today?

I have a meeting
with an ad agency

to direct some spots.

I thought you told Nina

that you were gonna stop
chasing that directing dream.

I said I was going to.

I didn't put a
hard clock on it.

Oh, so you lied
to your wife?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
(chuckles) Never.

Our entire relationship
is built on complete trust.

I'm merely protecting her
in case I don't get the job,

that way I don't have to see

that disappointed look
in her eyes.

Oh, your mom had that look.

It was her only look.

So, what does the
foam roller king

think about you taking meetings
on a work day?

Well, you know, I just tell
J.J. I'm on a sales run,

I go in and crush my meetings,
back to work, no harm, no foul.

Well, there is a foul.

You're stealing time
from your boss.

Look, Dad.

I know you guys go way--

(high-pitched moaning)

(moaning)

You good?

Yeah, I'm good, I'm good.

Look, I know
you guys go way back,

but I can't stand working
for that dude.

It's like having
a human hemorrhoid

for a father-in-law.

This is true, but
J.J. loaned you money

to buy that
house next door.

And he gave you a job
so you can pay him back.

That's a contract.

Well, I could pay him
back a lot quicker

if you bought a couple
hundred of these bad b-- Nope.

They don't nothing for me.

Look, I paid
for your film school, son.

That's it.
Now I support you emotionally.

Dad, you know
that George Clooney once gave

15 of his best friends
a million dollars each?

(blows raspberry)
That's nothing.

I once gave an enemy
five million dollars.

Really? Who?

Your mother. In the divorce.

She told me it was three.

That's 'cause she didn't want
to pay for film school.

(scoffs)
She's the worst.

(laughs)
That's my mother.

? Poppa's ?

? House ?

? Yeah. ?

NINA:
Kids, get in the car.

Seatbelts on,
I'll be there in a minute.

TREY:
Bye, Dad. Bye-bye.

Damon, I've been thinking.

Uh-oh.

If you took that management
position Daddy's offering

and I planned
a few more events,

we could afford to send
our kids to private school.

Private school is
overrated and overpriced.

Babe, if you took
that promotion,

we could afford Buckingham.

Yeah, but that promotion
would leave me no time

for doing what I love.

Directing short films?

No. Kissing my short wife.

(chuckles)
Don't call me short.

My sweetie petite-y?
Mm, no.

My little
Halfrican American?

How about Tiny Bit?

'Cause that's all
you're gonna get

if you keep joking
about my height.

Mm.
(horn honks)

Oh, right, we have kids.
Yes. Oh. Right.

Hey. Don't forget to pick
them up from school.

Have I ever forgotten?

They were fine.

("Across 110th Street"
by Bobby Womack playing)

? Across 110th Street ?

? A woman trying
to catch a trick... ?

All right, New York City,

we're gonna bring it on home
with a few phone calls.

Poppa's house, what's poppin'?

MALE CALLER:
Yo, man,

why you only play that
old-school Civil Rights music?

How come you don't rock with
none of that new school rap?

Because I don't know who any
of these new school rappers are.

They're all named "baby."

You got Lil Baby, Da Baby,

Yung Baby, NewBorn Baby.

These men need to grow up
and get some real names.

Till then, I plays what I play,
playa, ya dig?

You don't like it, kick rocks.

Poppa's house, holla at ya boy.

FEMALE CALLER:
Is this the Poppa?

The one and only, never lonely.

Right. Why do you reduce

every conversation you have
with a woman to sex?

Oh, it's not me.

It's my dang-a-lang.

(chuckles)
There you go again.

Another reflexively
asinine comment.

First of all, my ass
ain't a nine, it's a ten.

And secondly,
I thought we wasn't

talking about sex, honey dip.

It's "Doctor."

(gasps) Oh... Doctor?
Like doctor-doctor?

So, if someone's having
a heart attack on a plane,

you raise your hand?

No, not that kind of doctor.

Then not really a doctor,
nah-mean?

I have a PhD in psychology

and I know men like you.

Really? Could you put one
of them on the phone?

'Cause I'm bored
talking with you.

You're probably sitting there
with your goofy baseball cap

cocked to the side,
in your manopause cardigan,

thinking that your scruffy beard
makes you look cool,

but it really just makes you
look like a ghetto Poppa Smurf.

Ha. You couldn't be
more wrong about me.

New York, that's my time,
I'm Audi.

? Oh, oh... ?

There he is,
Big Poppa Fulton!

Allen. What's our system?

I need to knock.
And then what do I say?

Go away.
And then what do you do?

I go away.

So why are you in my studio?

Corporate has some ideas.

(groans)

Mm, mm, mm.

Why are they messing
with my number one show?

Number two show.

We've taken a hit with
our female demographic.

So corporate thinks
it might be cool

to add a female
presence in studio.

Sorry, but a woman would
change the entire culture.

Entire?

It's just you.
That's right. I'm the culture.

And you guys keep
trying to change that.

See, I like sitting
in my studio,

playing my kind of music,

eating boiled eggs,
drinking coffee

while I fart it
up in there.

That's my happy
place, Allen.

Hello.

Dr. Ivy Reed.

Nice hat.

So, the call was coming
from inside the house?

You've probably heard

Dr. Reed's podcast,
Just Like a Woman.

Or maybe not.

I don't do podcasts.

Here's the hierarchy:
you got movies,

TV, recording artists,

radio personality,

mime,

organ grinder monkey,

podcasts.

Listen, I'm here
to bring the fun

to get us back
to number one

'cause if I don't,
son, you're done.

Your rhyme is wack,
that's a fact.

Me and you together,
I ain't having that.

So don't get comfortable
and try to unpack,

'cause Ray Charles said it best,
"Hit the road, Jack."

Make that go away.

? ?

Man, I hope your day
went better than mine.

You know, they tried to jam me
with a female cohost?

What? Who comes
to "Poppa's House"

for the female
perspective? Right?

I mean, I don't pick up Cosmo
to see if the Knicks won.

They didn't, by the way.

Yeah, they never do.

Oh, hey, uh, Dad...

Uh...

Uh, that ad agency
loved my ideas.

Awesome.
Yeah.

There was one, um,
slight problem, though.

What's that?

Well, the meeting,
it went long,

and I-I kind of missed

a very important sales pitch
to a top foam roller client.

Ooh, J.J. must have
went cray-cray

when he heard about
your day-day.

Cray-cray like Kanye-ye.

He fired me.

Are you serious?

And what did Nina say?

Well, I haven't
told her yet.

Junior, I'm gonna kill you.

? ?

So I say we need money
for private school,

and you get fired.

Well, context missing,
but correct.

Babe, I had a meeting
with a top ad agency.

Why didn't you tell me?

We don't lie
in this relationship.

We're supposed to tell
each other everything.

This job could pay
for private school.

Daddy gave you a job offer

that would have paid
for private school,

and you threw it away.

He said that's the third meeting
you've missed in two months.

Those are just the
ones he knows about.

Babe, this is my calling.
I know it. I'm so close.

But you have been "so close"
for so long, Damon.

You're 35, babe.
With a family.

Babe, I need you
to believe in me.

I do believe in you.

But I also want
the best for our kids.

Maybe now's not
the time for dreaming.

Well, then you shouldn't
be so damn dreamy.

Sorry, it was cuter
when you had a job.

Thank God you're still alive.

I thought I'd come back
to a chalk outline.

She's like a reverse Hulk.

She gets angry,
she gets smaller.

Why can't she understand
how much directing means to me?

Son, don't put this
all on her. Sit down.

Let me tell you a story.

When I first
started out in radio,

I was working
at the station mailroom.

Okay? My big break came
when the night DJ got sick.

I sat in for a month.
I got rave reviews.

'Cause you're the man.

Yeah, I thought I was.

I quit my mailroom job.

And then the DJ recovered
and came back to work.

And I was out of two jobs.

I mean,
things got bad, son.

So bad that we were
eating rice and beans every day.

You had to wear
my T-shirts as diapers.

You owe me a Public Enemy one.

And I felt like
a complete failure.

Because I let my dream
become my family's nightmare.

So I ended up taking a job
on a sanitation truck

in the middle of winter
just to provide for us.

And that's why your fingers
smelled like that?

I never knew that, D.

Yeah, well,
here's what I learned.

A man's got to do
what a man's got to do

until he can do
what he wants to do.

You're right, Pop.

So how do I get my job back?

I don't know,
I guess we'll invite

the human hemorrhoid over here,

we'll, um, open up a nice,
expensive bottle of wine,

couple of glasses,
he'll say yes to anything.

He's just like his daughter.

? ?

Allen, when I said,

"Make this go away," you heard,

"Get her a chair
and a microphone."

I couldn't sell it upstairs.
Corporate.

What's with the candle?

Oh, had to light it.

It smelled like someone had sex
with a boiled egg in here.

Where is my lava lamp?

Oh, had to make room
for the monitors.

Monitors? For what?

And why are these cameras
in here?

For the streaming video.

Corporate loves how they do it
on Dr. Reed's pod.

Yeah, well,
we're not doing cameras.

Do they intimidate you?

Me? Intimidated? (laughs)

Hey, is my head
really that small?

Like a baby pigeon.

I'm not doing cameras,
I'm sorry.

You have to.
You've got a contract.

Contracts were made
to be broken. I quit.

Poppa. Poppa, come back.

Listen, I refuse to
let them change my show.

I'd rather retire,
kick back, relax,

spend up all that
inheritance money

you think you gonna get.

Hey, what happened
with your ad agency?

Uh, haven't heard anything yet.

And no news is bad news
in show business.

(doorbell rings)
Well, here's some good news:

we gonna try and get you
that job that you hate back.

Remember, don't make this about
your stupid rivalry with Daddy.

Hey, if he don't start none,
there won't be none.

How about,
even if he does start some,

there'll still be none?

J.J. What up?

My portfolio.

That's "what up," Mr. DJ.
And you?

Oh, it's all good in my hood.

I wouldn't complain
even if I should.

Oh.

You're still rhyming?

At your age?

How quaint.

Nice coat.
Yeah, it's cashmere.

Don't let it rub up
against any of your stuff.

You'd better pick that up before
I drop you like I did in '78.

Oh, why you bring up '78?

Huh? What about the beatdown

in summer '82?
No.

That don't count,
you had a growth spurt.

Yeah, you should try one.

All right, all right, all right,

daddies, daddies, daddies.

All right, Golden Girls,
we get it, you have history.

Why don't we all sit?

Yes, let's all-- all right.

Let's all sit down.

Oh, right, yes.
Ooh, you sit over there.

Still mad at me. All right.
Yeah.

Well,

here we are.

NINA:
So,

Junior, what's on your mind?

I'll just have a glass of red.

Yeah, not that.

Right, no, yes.

Um...

Dad? Can I call you "Dad"?

No.
Okay.

Mr. Jackson, there is no denying
how much the world

has benefitted
from your brilliant invention.

You started selling

your foam rollers
out of your trunk

and you grew it into...

My empire.

I was gonna say "business,"
but sure.

And I would like to apologize
for missing that meeting.

If you give me
my job back,

I promise you,

this will never, ever
happen again.

Yeah, look, Junior, I-I know
it may not seem like it,

but I don't like you.

I-I mean,

you're a very creative
people person

and a great
communicator

and, uh...

Oh, man, my daughter
is making me say all this stuff.

Daddy.
No, I'm sorry, princess,

but I told you
I couldn't fake it.

Now, listen, Junior,
you're just wasting your time

with that silly directing dream.

Now, if you want to work
for my company,

I'm gonna need you
on the management track,

12 hours a day,
shoulder-to-shoulder with me.

So,

are you all in
or are you all out?

Hey, foam is where the heart is.

"Foam is where the heart..."

(chuckles)
See what I did there?

It's like "home,"
but it's like, "nah, foam."

That's my next catalogue title
right there.

Well done, son.
I think... Thank you.

...you're finally growing up.
POPPA: Mm.

Growing up.
Ain't it great?

Yeah, you should
try it sometime.

See? Why'd you...

Guys, guys...
Give it to me.

So, now that I got the
job that I hate back,

what are we gonna do
about the job that you love?

You know, I'm not sure
I love it anymore.

What? Look, Dad, forget about

corporate and the cameras
and Dr. Reed.

What made you fall in love
with radio in the first place?

It was about community.

I'd play a song
by Bill Withers or Al Green

and then I'd talk
about the memories

it brought up for me
growing up in New York.

Mm.
And then the listeners would call in

and they'd share
their memories.

And that's what it became,
like, this beautiful

shared experience.

Couldn't it still be that?

No, because it's not about

the listener anymore.

Corporate is chasing data
and demographics,

and in the process,

they're killing everything
that's good and real.

I can't do the cameras, son.

They make me nervous
and insecure.

'Cause of your little head?

Is it really that small?

Look, Dad, if you want
to relax on camera,

I tell my actors
these three things, all right?

Quiet hands, always smile

and never look in the camera.

That's it? Nothing else?
That's it.

Well, let Dr. Reed know
whose house she's in.

What do you mean?

Whose house is Dr. Reed in?

(softly):
My house?

Get up. Say it.
Poppa's house. Say it.

She in Poppa house.

Whose house is Dr. Reed in?

She in my house.

She in your house

and she's trespassing.
That's right.

That's right.
The living legend.

Six-time
Marconi Radio Award winner.

Seven-time.
Seven-time

Marconi Radio Award winner.

The Master of the Mic.

The King of the Commute.

The Adonis of Audio.

The MJ of the Airwaves.

Ooh! I like that.
Yeah.

Give me that LeBron.

(rhythmic grunting)

Hairline.
Hairline.

Okay.

It's love action time.

Right here in the living room?

Therapist said we got to
when there's unresolved anger.

Okay, let's do it.

(grunts)

I'm sorry I didn't tell
you about the meeting.

I'm sorry
if I made you feel

you couldn't share
everything with me.

You know,

it's so painful
when they say no.

I didn't want you
to feel that again.

That's why I'm here, silly.

For better or for worse.

I love you,
and I believe in you.

I know, it's just...

my dream can't be
my family's nightmare.

Well, my dream
is that my children

grow up with a happy father.

I know you're a great director,

and everyone else
is gonna know it soon, too.

So we need to make time
for your dream.

Happy spouse, happy house.

I love you, sweetie petite-y.

(laughs)
Give me a kiss.

Give me-- mm, mm, mwah.

You ready for that Tiny Bit,
Mr. Love Action?

Ooh, I'll give you
some love action.

Mm.
About two-and-a-half minute.

? ?

? Come here, sister ?

? Papa's in the swing ?

? He ain't too hip ?

? About that new breed, babe ?

? He ain't no drag ?

? Papa's got
a brand-new bag... ?

So, you're here to
honor your contract?

Allen, what's our system?

Have a great show.

(whistling)

Did you dye your beard?

No.

I woke up like this.

And we're on.

Hey, New York City,
what's crack-a-lackin'?

It's your boy Big Poppa,

still a little crowded
up in here

with, uh, Dr. Ivy Reed
overstaying her welcome

to the party
she was not invited to.

You're right, I wasn't invited.

I was begged.
"Please come save this show."

And yet, you were available.

Because I had just finished
writing my best-selling book.

What's it called,
No, Not that Kind of Doctor?

It's called
Tiny Head, Tiny Mind.

You're such a hater.

Yeah, and you know
what I hate most?

That my idol has become
a cantankerous cynic.

Idol? Me?

That's all you heard?

I used to listen to you
every morning in college,

and back then, you were always
so uplifting, positive and fun.

You got me through some
really tough times and then,

you got a divorce and you
changed into this curmudgeon.

And I refuse to let
you go out like that.

So, I'm here to give back
some of what you gave me.

What's that?

Motivation.
To fight for what you love.

(sniffles, exhales)

Okay, New York,
let's take a call.

Poppa's house,
what's good in your hood?

CALLER:
Hey, if I wanted to listen

to an old married couple bicker,

I'd talk to my wife.

Play some damn music.

You got it, my man.

Can I choose the song?
No.

("Respect" by Aretha Franklin
playing)

? Your rhymes is wack, though
you're cute in the front ?

? And you might be stacked ?

? But check this out ?

? You ain't working with me. ?

(laughter)

They do nothing for me.

You just orgasmed.

Yeah, I finished and I'm done.

I don't want to see it anymore.

Ah. Ah...

(laughing)

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