Original subtitles

GOSSIP GIRL HERE-- YOUR ONE AND ONLY SOURCE

INTO THE SCANDALOUS LIVES OF MANHATTAN'S ELITE.

YOU ARE RUNNING MY BUSINESS

LIKE YOU'RE STILL THE MEANEST GIRL IN HIGH SCHOOL.

I NEED TO USE MY POWER TO FORM THE FASHIONISTAS OF THE FUTURE,

WITH A LINE FOR HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS

INSPIRED BY MY CONSTANCE UNIFORM.

I'M SORRY I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING WHEN YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME.

(Serena) ALL I WANTED WAS A FRESH START.

THAT'S WHAT I WANT.

WELL, WE HAD TO COME TO SOME KIND OF AGREEMENT,

OR WE NEVER WOULD'VE LEFT THAT HOTEL ROOM IN MONTE CARLO.

IT WON'T BE MUCH LONGER, I PROMISE.

WE'RE HAPPY TO EXTEND

"THE SPECTATOR'S" LINE OF CREDIT.

ARE YOU SURE WANNA COSIGN ON THIS LOAN?

SEND ME THE DOCUMENTS TO SIGN IN THE MORNING.

WHEN IVY WAS IN THE APARTMENT, SHE SAID BART WALKED IN

WITH AN ENVELOPE HE HELD ON TO RATHER TIGHTLY.

(Chuck) Is there anything missing?

THAT PAINTING OF THE RAINBOW WOMAN IS GONE.

IN THAT FILM, THE HEAD OF THE DRUG CARTEL

STORED HIS ILLEGAL ACCOUNT INFORMATION

IN THE BACK OF A PAINTING.

(amplified voice) SOLD FOR $1.1 MILLION.

THAT PIECE IS A CRITICAL COMPONENT

OF MY CAMPAIGN AGAINST BART.

IF I TOPPLE HIM, LILY WON'T BE FAR BEHIND.

(Ivy) I'LL SELL YOU THE PAINTING.

WHERE THE HELL IS THAT ENVELOPE?

SOMEONE TOOK IT OFF.

THEN THEY'VE GOT THE EVIDENCE!

AND WHO AM I?

THAT'S A SECRET I'LL NEVER TELL.

YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME.

X.O.X.O., GOSSIP GIRL.

-- Captions by VITA --

(barking)

(barking continues)

(Gossip Girl) DESPERATE TIMES CALL FOR DESPERATE MEASURES.

(growling)

AND EVEN THE MOST DISCIPLINED PEOPLE

CAN RESORT TO DESTRUCTION...

(elevator bell dings, doors open)

(footsteps approach)

(barking continues)

FUNNY, I DIDN'T ASK FOR TURNDOWN SERVICE.

BUT DID YOU FIND WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR?

(Fire in the Hamptons' "Humanimal" playing)

WHILE OTHERS TRY TO REBUILD BRIDGES

USING MORE INTIMATE TACTICS.

(Dan and Serena laugh)

WOW, THIS IS AMAZING.

REALLY. AND I'M NOT JUST TALKING ABOUT THIS ESPRESSO.

(chuckles) I WISH WE COULD JUST STAY LIKE THIS FOREVER.

ME, TOO.

THE ONLY THING MISSING IS FRESH AIR.

ARE YOU--DO YOU THINK MAYBE TODAY THAT WE COULD, UH...

ACTUALLY GO OUTSIDE?

COME ON. YOU KNOW THAT WE CAN'T BE SEEN TOGETHER IN PUBLIC

UNTIL WE'RE SURE THAT THIS IS ABSOLUTELY REAL.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, BUT I'M PRETTY SURE.

I CAN'T THINK OF ANY REASON TO HOLD BACK.

WELL, HERE'S A BIG ONE.

ALL OF OUR FRIENDS ARE FURIOUS AT US.

IF WE WANNA BE A COUPLE IN THE REAL WORLD,

WE NEED TO GO OUT AND MAKE AMENDS.

OKAY, WHERE DO WE START?

I'LL START WITH BLAIR, AND YOU START WITH NATE.

AND THEN AFTERWARDS, BRUNCH AND A MOVIE ON ME. I PROMISE.

**

(chuckles) OKAY.

* I'M NOT HUMAN

YEAH, MY, UH, SUITE NEEDS TIDYING.

COULD YOU PLEASE SEND THE MAID SERVICE?

ON SECOND THOUGHT, SEND ALL THE MAIDS YOU HAVE.

(cell phone beeps)

WHERE IS IT? IN THE SAFE?

I SEE YOU CHANGED THE COMBINATION.

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE SO IMPORTANT THAT YOU MISPLACED IT?

YOUR VIAGRA?

CUT THE CRAP, CHUCK.

THERE'S THE RICHARD PHILLIPS. IT USED TO HAVE A BACKING.

I KNOW YOU HAVE IT.

YOU MEAN THE PAPERS THAT HOLD THE PROOF

TO YOUR ILLEGAL OIL ACTIVITIES?

PAPERS?

YOU DON'T HAVE IT.

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR.

(elevator bell dings, doors open)

OH, SORRY TO INTERRUPT THIS RIVETING OEDIPAL SHOWDOWN,

BUT I THINK I HAVE WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR.

MR. BOYER! MR. BOYER!

COULD I SPEAK WITH YOU, PLEASE?

OH, UH... (chuckles)

THIS IS COMPLETELY INAPPROPRIATE, MR. ARCHIBALD.

I'M ON PERSONAL TIME.

I APOLOGIZE FOR THE INTRUSION,

BUT YOU WON'T RETURN ANY OF MY PHONE CALLS.

ALL RIGHT, I'LL BE BRIEF, I PROMISE.

LOOK, YOUR CREDIT LINE WAS DUE LAST WEEK.

NOW IF YOU CAN'T COME UP WITH THE FUNDS,

I DON'T SEE HOW I CAN ASSIST YOU.

MR. BOYER, THIS PAPER MEANS EVERYTHING TO ME.

I'VE PUT ALL MY PERSONAL ASSETS INTO IT, ALL RIGHT?

YOU KNOW HOW PEOPLE ALWAYS TELL YOU TO BET ON YOURSELF?

WELL, THAT'S WHAT I DID, AND I JUST--

I NEED SOMEONE ELSE TO BET ON ME, TOO.

LOOK, I RESPECT YOUR PASSION, BUT I'M AFRAID IN THIS ECONOMY,

PEOPLE AREN'T WILLING TO TAKE A BET.

"THE SPECTATOR" IS NOT A RISK. IT WON'T FAIL BECAUSE IT CAN'T.

IT'S EVERYTHING I'VE GOT, MR. BOYER.

NOW IF YOU COULD JUST GET ME A LITTLE MORE TIME...

NO PROMISES,

BUT I'LL TALK TO THE LENDER.

OH! THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

I PROMISE YOU WON'T REGRET IT.

YEAH.

(exhales)

(whispers) YES.

JUST THINK, DOROTA.

I STARTED OFF DRESSING THE MINIONS,

AND NOW I'LL BE DRESSING THE MASSES.

MISS BLAIR HAS COME LONG WAY.

ALL GROWN UP WITH HER--HER OWN BARNEYS CO-OP POP-UP SHOP.

NOW THE GIFT BAGS MUST BE PERFECT.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

BLAIR, I KNOW THAT I'VE DONE SOME HORRIBLE THINGS,

BUT I AM SO SORRY, AND I'VE COME TO MAKE AMENDS.

AMENDS WOULD IMPLY THAT THERE'S SOMETHING TO BE MENDED.

WHAT YOU DID CAN NEVER BE FIXED.

YOU'VE SWORN THAT OUR FRIENDSHIP IS BEYOND REPAIR IN THE PAST,

BUT WE'VE ALWAYS GOTTEN THROUGH IT.

WELL, THIS TIME IS DIFFERENT.

YOU SEDUCED DAN ON THE BAR AT THE CAMPBELL APARTMENT--

THE VERY SAME SPOT YOU DEFLOWERED MY FIRST BOYFRIEND.

I WOULD NEVER BE THAT CRUEL TO YOU... ON PURPOSE.

I WON'T ACCEPT LOSING YOU.

SO... I'M JUST GONNA SIT HERE UNTIL YOU USE HOW SORRY I AM

AND HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU.

SUIT YOURSELF.

SIT THERE, QUIETLY, LIKE A MANNEQUIN.

THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE BEST AT ANYWAY.

AND WHAT ARE YOU BEST AT, BLAIR?

YOUR NEW JUNIOR LINE?

AND WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THE KATNISS EVERDEEN GENERATION

IS GOING TO CARE ABOUT BLAIR WALDORF'S PLEATED SKIRTS?

YOU'RE NOT A TEENAGER ANYMORE.

SO? DESIGNERS DON'T HAVE TO BE TEENAGERS

IN ORDER TO INFLUENCE THEM. IN--IN FACT, NO ONE--

IS TALKING TO YOU!

JUST BE QUIET.

THE WORLD ALREADY HAS STELLA AND PHOEBE

AND THE MULLEAVY SISTERS

BLAIR'S TOO OLD TO BE THE QUEEN BEE

AND NOT ESTABLISHED ENOUGH TO BE A FASHION STAR.

SHE'S STUCK IN THE MIDDLE.

AND WHAT COULD BE LESS COOL THAN BEING A TWEEN?

WELL, I GUESS WE'LL HAVE TO SEE TONIGHT.

I COULD TELL BY THE FRENZY AT THE AUCTION

THERE HAD TO BE MORE AT STAKE THAN JUST ART.

AND THEN I FOUND THE MICROFILM IN THE PAINTING.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THOSE NUMBERS MEAN,

BUT THEY OBVIOUSLY MEAN A LOT TO YOU.

NAME YOUR PRICE.

WHATEVER HE SAYS, I'LL DOUBLE IT.

I DON'T WANT MONEY.

WHAT DO YOU WANT, THEN?

LILY.

LAST YEAR, LILY DID EVERYTHING IN HER POWER

TO HURT ME AND LEAVE ME WITH NOTHING.

NO FRIENDS, NO FAMILY, NO HOME.

I WANT LILY TO KNOW HOW THAT FEELS.

THAT'S MY PRICE.

SURELY THERE MUST BE SOMETHING ELSE.

ALL I WANT IS FOR LILY TO BE LEFT WITH NO ONE AND NOTHING.

NOW WHICHEVER ONE OF YOU MAKES THAT HAPPEN FIRST

CAN HAVE THE MICROFILM.

I'LL BE WAITING TO HEAR YOUR PLANS.

AND BE CREATIVE.

(Sky Ferreira's "Red Lips" playing)

* RED LIPS

* YOU'RE TEN A PENNY

* CHEAP SHOT

* SPREADING YOUR LEGS FOR THE BOYS *

* WATCH OUT

* 'CAUSE SOMEONE WILL BEAT YOU THE SAME *

(giggles)

(sighs)

IT WENT PERFECTLY!

YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN BART AND CHUCK SQUIRM!

OH! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE LILY GET CAUGHT IN THEIR CROSS FIRE.

YOU REALLY PLAYED THIS OUT MASTERFULLY.

I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.

* YOUR NAME, TOO BAD

I AM JUST GLAD THIS IS ALMOST OVER.

I MISSED YOU SO MUCH, IT HURT.

* BIG GIRL

BUT SOMETIMES

THE PARTNER IS MORE SHOCKING THAN THE CRIME ITSELF.

* WHAT A SHOCK

OKAY, WHAT IF NELLY IS RIGHT?

WHAT IF MY LINE GETS LOST BECAUSE I'M NOT IN HIGH SCHOOL

OR THAT MY DAD'S NOT A BEATLE?

MISS BLAIR, TAKE DEEP BREATHS.

(inhales deeply)

HEY, B., YOU MAY NOT BE THE QUEEN BEE ANYMORE,

BUT SAGE IS.

IF YOU GET HER ON YOUR SIDE, ALL THE OTHER GIRLS WILL FOLLOW.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SAGE WOULD DO EITHER OF US A FAVOR?

SHE WOULDN'T,

BUT SHE'D DO ANYTHING TO KEEP ME AND STEVEN APART.

YOU ARE APART.

WELL, MAYBE WE MAKE IT LOOK LIKE WE'RE GETTING BACK TOGETHER.

I HAVE A PHOTO ON MY PHONE.

IT'S NOT A SEX TAPE, BUT IT IS A KISS.

MAYBE WE DATE STAMP IT TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE IT WAS TAKEN TODAY.

AND SEND TO "GOSSIP GIRL" TO TRICK MISS SAGE.

(scoffs) BUT ALL SAGE WOULD HAVE TO DO

IS ASK HER DAD IF IT'S TRUE.

IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE THAT HE WOULD COVER OUR RELATIONSHIP.

HE KNOWS THAT SAGE HATES US BEING TOGETHER.

SO SAGE SEES THE BLAST AND COMES TO ME FOR HELP,

JUST LIKE WHEN SHE THOUGHT STEVEN WAS PROPOSING,

WHICH GIVES ME LEVERAGE TO ASK FOR HER SUPPORT.

I'LL ADMIT,

IT'S NOT A TERRIBLE PLAN.

OF COURSE, I NEED PHOTO APPROVAL.

LET ME FIND IT.

(clicking)

ACCEPTABLE.

NOW GO. NO ONE CAN SUSPECT WE'RE CONSPIRING.

OF COURSE NOT.

YOU KNOW, I-I PLAYED HEDDA GABLER IN HIGH SCHOOL,

BUT ACTING LIKE I'M INTO RUFUS WHEN I'M REALLY IN LOVE WITH YOU

IS THE HARDEST ROLE OF MY LIFE.

YOU DESERVE AN OSCAR, DARLING.

BUT TAKE SOLACE IN KNOWING THAT YOU SERVE A HIGHER CAUSE.

GIVING LILY HER COMEUPPANCE?

THOUGH I-I STILL WISH WE HAD TAKEN THE MONEY AND RUN,

LIKE I WANTED TO.

SO DO I, BUT THIS IS WHAT LOLA WANTED.

AND LILY DESERVES TO PAY FOR THE WAY SHE TREATED YOU.

I OWE LOLA FOR A LOT MORE THAN JUST THE MONEY.

I MEAN, IF SHE HADN'T ASKED YOU

TO HELP TRANSFER THE FUNDS TO ME,

I WOULD'VE NEVER MET THE REAL YOU.

EVEN THOUGH IT WAS AWFUL TO TEAR MYSELF AWAY FROM YOU,

YOUR PLAN WAS BRILLIANT.

WELL, NOW YOU HAVE ACCESS TO LILY'S SECRETS

AND INFLUENCE TO TURN RUFUS AGAINST HER.

BUT IF I EAT ANOTHER WAFFLE, I'LL PUKE.

(laughs)

(sighs) NOW THAT OUR PLAN'S ALMOST DONE,

CAN'T I PLEASE STOP THIS CHARADE?

NOT YET. NOT YET, NO.

I MEAN, THE--THE MICROFILM MAY BE OUR GOLDEN TICKET,

BUT WE STILL HAVE TO SEE IF CHUCK OR BART ARE WILLING

TO SACRIFICE LILY FOR IT.

COME ON. LET ME BUY YOU LUNCH.

HMM.

AND THIS WAY,

YOU DON'T HAVE TO SUBSIST ON WAFFLES ALONE.

I KNOW A SMALL, OUT-OF-THE-WAY PLACE.

I'LL PULL THE CAR AROUND, OKAY?

SOUNDS WONDERFUL.

MM.

MMM.

(door opens)

(door closes)

(sighs)

OH, THANK GOD. I'VE BEEN SICK WITH WORRY.

DID YOU FIND THE MICROFILM AT CHARLES'?

NO, BECAUSE CHUCK DOESN'T HAVE IT. IVY DOES.

WHAT? HOW?

She found it in the lining of the painting

BEFORE SHE SOLD IT TO CHUCK THE NIGHT OF THE AUCTION.

I AM SO SORRY, BART.

W-what does she want for it?

YOU.

She will give the records to me or Chuck

IN EXCHANGE FOR DESTROYING YOUR LIFE.

WITH IVY, I'M NOT SURPRISED.

Of course, I would never do anything to harm you,

BUT I WORRY CHUCK WILL TAKE HER UP ON HER OFFER.

OH, CHARLES WOULD NEVER ACTIVELY HURT ME.

DON'T BE NAIVE, LILY.

IF CHUCK GETS A HOLD OF THE MICROFILM,

HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT.

LET ME CALL RUFUS.

MAYBE HE'LL BE REASONABLE AND HELP ME GET IT BACK

BEFORE ANYONE GETS HURT.

DO WHAT YOU CAN.

IN THE MEANTIME, I'LL WORK ON CHUCK.

(beep)

YOU'RE NOT SERIOUSLY THINKING ABOUT TAKING IVY'S DEAL,

ARE YOU?

I MAY HAVE NO CHOICE.

(elevator bell dings)

I ASKED LILY FOR HELP BEFORE. SHE REFUSED.

HEY. SORRY TO INTERRUPT.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I CAME TO APOLOGIZE.

I'VE BEEN DOING SOME SOUL-SEARCHING.

(scoffs) THAT IMPLIES YOU HAVE A SOUL.

(chuckles) THAT'S FUNNY, COMING FROM YOU.

THAT'S HILARIOUS. I MEAN, WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT

CHUCK BASS TURNS OUT TO BE THE GOOD GUY

AND HUMPHREY THE VILLAIN?

WELL, I-I-I REALLY WANNA TURN THAT AROUND.

I'M SORRY ABOUT WHAT I WROTE ABOUT ALL OF YOU.

I'M HERE TO MAKE AMENDS.

HMM.

WELL, IF YOU REALLY MEAN THAT...

YOU JUST GAVE ME AN IDEA.

(door closes)

(cell phone beeps)

WELL, IF IT ISN'T GYPSY ROSE LEE...

WITHOUT THE TALENT.

I HAVE NO NEED FOR STRIPPERS OR SEX TAPES AT MY POP-UP SHOP,

SO PLEASE RUN ALONG.

YOU SHOULD BE THANKING ME.

THAT TAPE GOT YOU EXACTLY WHAT YOU WANTED.

AND DID IT GET YOU WHAT YOU WANTED?

YEAH, IT DID. MY DAD AND SERENA SPLIT UP,

WHICH IS HOW I WANT THEM TO STAY.

I SAW THE "GOSSIP GIRL" BLAST.

HAS SERENA SAID ANYTHING TO YOU

ABOUT GETTING BACK TOGETHER WITH MY FATHER?

SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND. SHE TELLS ME EVERYTHING.

SO IT'S TRUE.

OF COURSE, THE MINUTE I GO TO MY MOM'S,

HE GOES CRAWLING BACK TO HER.

HE SWORE TO ME THAT THINGS WERE OVER BETWEEN THEM.

I MIGHT BE WILLING TO GIVE YOU SOME GUIDANCE.

THAT IS, IF YOU DO SOMETHING FOR ME.

NAME IT.

YOU'RE THE QUEEN OF CONSTANCE,

AND I KNOW THERE'S A SECRET SOCIETY MADE OF THE MONARCHS

OF THE FIVE MOST POWERFUL PRIVATE SCHOOLS IN MANHATTAN.

I KNOW BECAUSE I CREATED IT.

SO?

I WANT A MEETING

WITH THE HEADS OF THE FIVE FAMILIES.

MAKE IT QUICK, LILY.

I KNOW YOU HATE ME, RUFUS.

YOU MADE THAT ABUNDANTLY CLEAR

WHEN YOU HELPED IVY ENACT HER REVENGE AT THE AUCTION.

GET TO THE POINT.

IVY'S DONE SOMETHING NOW THAT GOES FAR BEYOND HURTING ME.

IT ENDANGERS MY FAMILY, MY CHILDREN.

THEY USED TO BE YOUR FAMILY, TOO.

W-WHAT KIND OF DANGER ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

IVY'S IN POSSESSION OF SOME BUSINESS RECORDS.

THEY'RE SIMPLE DOCUMENTS.

THEY MEAN NOTHING TO ANYONE OUTSIDE OF OUR FAMILY,

BUT THEY HAVE THE POWER TO DESTROY US.

PLEASE FIND IT IN YOUR HEART TO BE THE BIGGER PERSON.

GET THEM BACK FOR ME.

IF YOU HAD NOTHING TO HIDE,

THEN NO ONE COULD USE THIS EVIDENCE AGAINST YOU.

LILY, I'M SORRY. YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW.

I'M NOT GETTING INVOLVED.

WELL, THANK YOU FOR THE LOVELY LUNCH.

MY PLEASURE.

WE'RE ALMOST AT THE FINISH LINE, MY LOVE.

YEAH.

(cell phone alert chimes)

(sighs) AND IT LOOKS LIKE CHUCK WILL BE THE WINNER.

HE WANTS ME TO MEET HIM NOW TO TELL ME HIS PLAN.

CALL WHEN YOU CAN.

YEAH.

HEY.

I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE HERE, BUT GET OUT

BEFORE SECURITY THROWS YOU OUT.

THAT'S NOT A NICE WAY TO GREET YOUR PARTNER.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU ARE INDEBTED TO ME,

AND I'M HERE TO COLLECT.

SO UNLESS TO WANNA LOSE EVERYTHING,

YOU'RE GONNA HELP ME DEFEAT CHUCK.

BUCK UP. IT'S GONNA BE FUN.

BETRAYAL IS A BITTER PILL TO SWALLOW,

BUT NOTHING'S WORSE

THAN HAVING BLACKMAIL SHOVED DOWN YOUR THROAT.

(Sage) DONS NIGHTINGALE, BREARLEY, CHAPIN, AND SPENCE,

LET US NOW HAVE THIS MEETING COMMENCE.

DON CONSTANCE, WHY IS SHE HERE?

I'M HERE, NIGHTINGALE,

BECAUSE NOT ONLY WAS I THE QUEEN OF CONSTANCE,

BUT I ALSO INVENTED THIS COUNCIL.

SO AS REGINA EMERITA,

IT IS MY ROYAL PREROGATIVE TO COMMAND YOU TO ATTEND

MY POP-UP EVENT TONIGHT AND BE FANS.

SAGE, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BROUGHT HER HERE.

THIS ISN'T AN ALUMNI EVENT.

DON BREARLEY IS RIGHT. IT'S A CLEAR BREACH OF SECURITY.

(lowered voice) INVOKE THE ORDER OF THE SECRETS.

ORDER OF THE WHAT?

CODIFIED BLACKMAIL.

IF THEY DON'T DO WHAT YOU SAY, YOU SPILL THEIR SECRETS.

LOOK, THE RULES SAY I'M ENTITLED TO ASK THE COUNCIL FOR ONE FAVOR

DURING MY REIGN. THIS IS IT.

AND IF YOU REFUSE, SHE'LL HAVE NO CHOICE

BUT TO REVEAL YOUR AFFAIR WITH YOUR DRAMA TEACHER.

YOUR LATIN TEACHER?

YOUR FATHER'S BUSINESS PARTNER.

WHAT? THAT'S HOW WE DID IT IN MY DAY.

WE'LL GRANT DON CONSTANCE HER ONE REQUEST,

AND RECONVENE AT THE POP-UP EVENT.

THE ATTIRE IS FESTIVE COCKTAIL!

WHEN DID THE QUEENS START CALLING THEMSELVES "DON"?

WELL, EVERYONE LOVES A CROWN, BUT WHEN IT COMES TO POWER,

THE MOB TOTALLY TRUMPS THE MONARCHY.

YOU COSIGNED MY CREDIT LINE?

I NEVER ASKED YOU TO DO THAT.

INGRATITUDE DOESN'T BECOME YOU, NATHANIEL.

YOU HAVE PUT SO MUCH WORK INTO "THE SPECTATOR."

IT WOULD BE A SHAME TO LOSE IT ALL NOW.

I'M NOT GONNA BETRAY MY BEST FRIEND.

MY LOAN WILL BE IN DEFAULT. I'LL FILE FOR BANKRUPTCY.

AND AS FOR "THE SPECTATOR," YOU CAN TAKE IT.

YOUR LOYALTY IS VERY TOUCHING,

BUT I'M AFRAID YOUR ACTIONS HAVE MORE SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES.

YOU COULDN'T RESIST FAKING THE NUMBERS.

MUST BE...

AN ARCHIBALD GENE.

SO YOU HAVE A CHOICE.

EITHER YOU CAN TELL ME CHUCK'S PLAN TO WIN OVER IVY,

OR YOU CAN GO TO PRISON

AND DRAG YOUR MOTHER AND GRANDFATHER

THROUGH A PUBLIC DISGRACE

EVEN MORE SENSATIONAL THAN THAT OF YOUR FATHER'S.

WHAT'S IT GONNA BE?

I USUALLY FROWN UPON NEGOTIATING WITH TERRORISTS,

BUT STAMPING OUT MY FATHER'S FREEDOM

HAS BECOME MY LIFE'S MISSION.

WHAT'S YOUR PLAN TO DESTROY LILY?

SIMPLY PLAY THE POWERFUL CARD WE'VE BEEN DEALT.

THE MICROFILM'S ENOUGH TO PUT HER AWAY, TOO,

AS LONG AS SHE APPEARS TO BE BART'S ACCOMPLICE.

YOU MEAN PLANT IT ON HER.

PRECISELY.

YOU GIVE ME THE FILM, I'LL DO THE DIRTY WORK,

THEN TIP OFF THE FEDS.

OKAY.

BUT IT HAS TO HAPPEN IN PUBLIC.

I WANT PRISON PLUS HUMILIATION.

NOT A PROBLEM.

BRING THE FILM TO BLAIR'S EVENT TONIGHT,

AND I'LL TAKE CARE OF THE REST.

DONE.

(door closes)

DAN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

OH. HEY, DAD.

I'M JUST, UH, JUST PICKING UP SOME OF MY STUFF HERE.

BUT I'M--I'M MAINLY HERE TO SEE YOU.

I HURT YOU.

I-I JEOPARDIZED OUR RELATIONSHIP,

WHICH MEANS MORE TO ME THAN ANYTHING.

I'M--I'M HERE TO MAKE AMENDS WITH YOU AND IVY.

I'M HAPPY YOU WANNA MAKE AMENDS, SON,

BUT I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY AS WELL.

IT LOOKS LIKE YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT IVY.

I WAS A FOOL FOR TRUSTING HER.

HONEY, I'M HOME!

I'LL TAKE THAT AS MY CUE.

UH... (chuckles)

WHAT'S GOING ON?

YOU TELL ME.

I SAW YOU PUTTING SOMEONE IN A TOWN CAR TODAY,

KISSING HIM GOOD-BYE.

I OPENED MY HEART TO YOU.

I OPENED MY HOME.

I BELIEVED YOU WHEN YOU SAID YOU WERE PROTECTING ME FROM LILY.

(scoffs) AT LEAST HAVE THE DECENCY TO TELL ME

WHAT WAS TRUE AND WHAT WERE LIES.

IT WAS ALL TRUE.

I MEAN, LILY WAS HORRIBLE TO YOU,

LIKE SHE IS TO EVERYONE.

AND WHAT ABOUT US?

THERE WAS SOMEONE ELSE BEFORE YOU.

AND I THOUGHT IT WAS OVER, BUT I RAN INTO HIM LAST WEEK

AND REALIZED IT WASN'T.

I'M SORRY, RUFUS.

PACK YOUR BAGS AND GET OUT.

HURRY, HURRY, HURRY! LET'S GET TO THE POP-UP!

SERENA, YOUR SCHEME IS UNFOLDING ON SCHEDULE.

I EXCEPT TO SEE YOU AT MY EVENT TONIGHT FOR THE DENOUEMENT.

AND...

I WON'T MIND IF YOU'RE NOT MUTE.

(Dorota) LET'S MOVE!

I SUPPOSE I COULD USE A FRIEND THERE WITH ME

TO CELEBRATE MY SUCCESS.

(Antennas Up's "Pretenders" playing)

(Dorota) COME ON, COME ON, COME ON, COME ON!

**

(sighs)

DON BREARLEY, I JUST SAW MY DAD, WHO IS MISERABLE WITH HEARTACHE.

IF HE IS REALLY BACK WITH SERENA AND LYING TO ME,

HE WOULDN'T BE BLUBBERING LIKE A BABY.

WE'VE BEEN PLAYED.

I'LL SEE YOU AT THE POP-UP PARTY BUT THE PLAN HAS CHANGED.

**

(beep)

HEY, MAN, I DID WHAT YOU ASKED. I SEARCHED THE LOFT AND NO LUCK.

BUT I SAW IVY ON THE WAY OUT

AND SPOTTED THE ENVELOPE IN HER BAG.

DID YOU GET IT?

NO, I COULDN'T.

THERE WAS NO WAY. THEY WOULD'VE SEEN ME.

I UNDERSTAND, WHICH IS WHY I HAVE A BACKUP PLAN.

IVY WILL BRING THE MICROFILM TO BLAIR'S EVENT TONIGHT.

THE FEDS WILL BE THERE.

I CONVINCED HER I'D PLANT IT ON LILY.

LILY'S GOING TO BLAIR'S JUNIOR LINE DEBUT?

NO, BUT IVY DOESN'T KNOW THAT.

I'D NEVER HURT LILY.

I'M SORRY I COULDN'T BE MORE HELPFUL.

Thanks for trying, Humphrey.

THE IMPORTANT THING IS,

I GOT TO IVY BEFORE MY FATHER DID.

(whimpers)

(cell phone rings)

(ring)

(ring)

(ring)

(ring, beep)

(chuckles)

BART.

YOU'RE TOO LATE.

I ALREADY STRUCK A DEAL WITH--

Chuck.

A takedown at Blair's fashion party.

BUT IN ACTUALITY, HE LURED YOU TO THE EMPIRE TO DISTRACT YOU

while Dan searched the loft.

HOLD ON A SEC.

(lowered voice) IF HE WAS TRYING TO STEAL THE MICROFILM,

HE DIDN'T SUCCEED.

Chuck has no intention of having Lily arrested.

He was planning on screwing you over all along.

(door closes) AND WHY SHOULD I BELIEVE YOU?

Because I have someone here

WHO CAN CONFIRM EVERYTHING I'M SAYING IS TRUE.

ISN'T THAT RIGHT, NATE?

(sighs)

It's true.

LUCKILY, I HAVE AN OFFER FOR YOU.

HI. DO YOU LIKE THE BEADS?

(speaks indistinctly)

(speaks indistinctly)

(Katy Tiz's "Famous" playing)

* NOT EVEN 30 SECONDS

* YOU'RE ASKING LOADS OF QUESTIONS *

* YOU'RE KILLING THE CONNECTION *

* OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH

* WE'RE KISSING IN THE LIMO

* YOU PASS OVER YOUR DEMO

* TRY TO PLAY ME LIKE NINTENDO

* OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH

* DON'T ACT LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW WHO I AM *

THE DONS. THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE.

NOW... START FAWNING. LOUDLY.

AND I KNOW THAT YOU DON'T HAVE A LIMIT ON YOUR CREDIT CARDS...

(singsongy) SO BUY, BUY, BUY!

SORRY, BLAIR. I CALLED OFF THE FAVOR.

WHAT?

I KNOW YOU DUPED ME ABOUT MY DAD AND SERENA.

I ONLY BROUGHT THE DONS HERE TO BE DETRACTORS.

AND IF WE SAY THE CLOTHES SUCK, IT'S LAW.

COME ON, GIRLS. AND REMEMBER, PLASTIC STAYS IN POCKETS.

WAIT. WAIT, DONS.

DONS?

BLAIR.

I MUST ADMIT,

I'M IMPRESSED THE HIGH SCHOOL CROWD SHOWED UP.

WE'LL JUST HAVE TO SEE WHETHER THEY LOVE OR HATE THE LINE.

I'LL GO GET QUOTES FROM THEM FOR "W.W.D."

OH! WAIT. YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU SIMPLY MUST SEE MY ACCESSORIES.

THEY'RE IN THE CORNER. THE FAR CORNER.

THIS WAY.

* 'CAUSE I'M FAMOUS

YOU SURE HE DIDN'T SEE IT WAS ME?

IF RUFUS HAD SEEN YOU, HE WOULD'VE SAID SO.

THIS COULDN'T BE BETTER.

NOW I DON'T HAVE TO INVENT A REASON TO BREAK UP WITH HIM.

THIS "BREAKUP" MUSTN'T UNDO ALL THE WORK YOU DID

TO POISON RUFUS AGAINST LILY.

I MEAN, OUR EFFORTS ARE FOR NOTHING

IF RUFUS TAKES HER BACK THE MINUTE SHE HITS ROCK BOTTOM.

HE WON'T TAKE HER BACK.

WELL, THEN WE'RE AT THE END OF OUR ROAD.

MM, IT'S ALL RIDING ON YOUR MEETING WITH BART.

I'LL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES.

(Dirty Radio's "Dancing Alone" playing)

IT'S BEEN AN HOUR. WHERE IS SHE?

HER PHONE IS STILL OFF.

THIS ISN'T A GAME, MR. BASS. YOU SAID YOU HAD HARD EVIDENCE.

DON'T WASTE OUR TIME AGAIN.

**

CHUCK. OH, YOU'RE HERE.

THINGS ARE GOING HORRIBLY.

GIRLS TODAY ARE OUT OF CONTROL.

THEY'RE LIKE TINY LITTLE VULTURES.

THEN BLAIR WALDORF WOULD BE

THE FALCON WHO DIVES IN AND DEVOURS THEM ALL.

PLEASE. COMPARED TO THEM, I'M LIKE A TURTLEDOVE.

WELL, AT LEAST NELLY'S DISTRACTED TALKING TO D.V.F.

I NEED TO FIND SERENA AND FORCE HER TO FIX THINGS WITH SAGE.

THE LINE LOOKS BEAUTIFUL.

I'M SURE IT'S GOING TO BE A HUGE SUCCESS.

UNLESS I CAN DO SOME DAMAGE CONTROL,

THERE'S NO CHANCE OF THAT.

SPEAKING OF, I NEED TO DO SOME DAMAGE CONTROL MYSELF.

WELL, GOOD LUCK.

IT'S MY FAITH IN YOU THAT'S FIRING ME UP TO FIX THIS MESS.

**

DID YOU BRING IT?

YES.

I'LL SHOW YOU MINE IF YOU SHOW ME YOURS FIRST.

I'M DIVORCING LILY. HERE ARE THE PAPERS.

YOU MAY LEAK THEM TO WHOMEVER YOU CHOOSE.

(scoffs)

THAT'S HARDLY ENOUGH.

LILY'S BEEN DIVORCED FOUR, FIVES TIMES ALREADY.

WHO CAN KEEP COUNT?

I WANT HER HUMILIATED.

WHAT DID YOU HAVE IN MIND?

(inhales deeply)

TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES.

EXCUSE ME?

YOU HEARD ME. STRIP.

(Niki Watkins' "Get Wild" playing)

I SHOULD HAVE EXPECTED THE TYPICAL SERENA SABOTAGE--

PRETENDING TO BE MY FRIEND

AND THEN SENDING IN THOSE MINI MAFIOSAS

TO BLOW UP MY POP-UP SHOP.

SAGE KNOWS YOU'RE NOT BACK WITH STEVEN.

I WONDER WHO TOLD HER.

WELL, IT WASN'T ME, I SWEAR.

BLAIR, I JUST WANNA HELP.

IF I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE YOU, AND IF YOU REALLY WANNA HELP,

THEN COME UP WITH A NEW SCHEME

BEFORE THOSE TEENAGE GOOMBAS RUIN EVERYTHING.

(man) MISS WALDORF, MAY I TAKE A PICTURE?

(camera shutter clicks)

LOOK, I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT, BUT YOU DON'T NEED A SCHEME.

YOUR LINE IS SPECTACULAR AND IT SPEAKS FOR ITSELF.

AND THERE'S NOTHING THAT SAGE OR ANYONE CAN DO TO CHANGE THAT.

IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO START TRUSTING YOURSELF

AND ACCEPTING THE FACT THAT YOU ARE OBSCENELY TALENTED.

(sighs)

YOU REALLY MEAN THAT?

YES. B., YOUR CLOTHES ARE BEAUTIFUL AND ORIGINAL,

LIKE YOU.

DON'T TAKE MY WORD FOR IT. LOOK AROUND.

**

HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

THIS IS THE LAST SIZE 2, AND I LIKED IT FIRST.

(Nightingale) SORRY. ALL'S FAIR IN SHOPPING AND WAR.

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?!

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE HATING ON EVERYTHING.

BUT WE LOVE IT,

AND DEVOTION TO GREAT CLOTHES TRUMPS FIVE FAMILY LOYALTY.

UH, HI. EXCUSE ME.

DO YOU MIND IF I QUOTE YOU?

OH, MY GOSH.

THEY LIKE ME.

THEY REALLY LIKE ME!

**

* GET WILD

NATHANIEL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

IT'S NOT LIKE YOU TO BE PARTYING ALONE.

(chuckles) WELL, THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO BE--ALONE...

AND UNCONSCIOUS. (clears throat)

BELIEVE ME, WHATEVER PROBLEMS YOU'VE GOT AT "THE SPECTATOR"

CANNOT COMPARE TO MY DAY FROM HELL.

SO IF YOU DON'T MIND, I'D LIKE TO JOIN YOU.

CHUCK...

IT WAS, UH, IT WAS ALL MY FAULT.

WHAT WAS?

THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD DO.

HE CORNERED ME.

"HE" WHO?

MY FATHER?

YOU TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED. WHAT DID HE DO?

WHAT DID HE MAKE YOU DO?

WHAT...

TELL ME.

BEFORE WE DO THIS...

THE MICROFILM.

OH. NO, WE'RE NOT ACTUALLY GOING TO HAVE SEX. (chuckles)

I JUST WANNA TAKE A COUPLE SNAPSHOTS

TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE WE DID.

ALL THAT MATTERS

IS THAT LILY BELIEVES SHE LOST TWO HUSBANDS TO ME.

I'M FINE BEING YOUR ELIOT SPITZER SCANDAL,

BUT I'M A PAY-FOR-PLAY KINDA GUY.

THE MICROFILM FIRST.

(Gossling's "Heart Killer" playing)

IVY. (whispers) OH, GOD.

DON'T DO THIS.

MY FATHER WILL SCREW YOU, THEN SCREW YOU OVER.

IT'S NOT TOO LATE TO DO THE RIGHT THING.

BEHIND THE CURVE AS ALWAYS, CHUCK.

IT I TOO LATE.

WHAT IS THIS, SOME KIND OF JOKE?

* I WANNA SEE HURT, I WANNA SEE HURT *

WHAT IN THE WORLD ARE YOU DOING HERE?

* WATCHING YOU DROWN

I KNOW I SAID I WOULDN'T HELP YOU, BUT I CHANGED MY MIND.

* WATCHING YOU DROWN

I HAVE WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR.

THEY SAY NOTHING INSPIRES FORGIVENESS

QUITE LIKE REVENGE.

THE MICROFILM WAS IN THAT ENVELOPE, I SWEAR.

IF YOU DON'T FIND IT AND HAND IT OVER--

ALL THE TORTURE YOU WISHED ON LILY,

IT'LL SEEM LIKE CHILD'S PLAY.

MY FATHER'S THREATS AREN'T IDLE. NEITHER ARE MINE.

THERE'S ONLY ONE PERSON WHO KNEW I HAD IT,

WHO MIGHT KNOW WHERE IT IS.

THANKS.

SINCE WHEN DID YOU START SPIKING YOUR CHAMOMILE?

OH, IT'S BEEN A ROUGH DAY.

HOPE THIS MAKES THINGS A BIT BETTER.

(teacup clinks)

YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

THANK YOU, RUFUS.

WHAT MADE YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND?

IVY'S NOT WHO I THOUGHT SHE WAS.

I KNOW. I SHOULD'VE BEEN TIPPED OFF

BY THE WHOLE "PRETENDING TO BE YOUR NIECE" THING.

WELL, YOU ALWAYS BELIEVE THE BEST IN PEOPLE.

IT'S YOUR VIRTUE AND YOUR DOWNFALL.

I STILL SEE THE BEST IN YOU, LIL.

AFTER EVERYTHING THAT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH,

IT'S PROBABLY SAFE TO SAY THAT WE WON'T BE TOGETHER AGAIN.

BUT WE WERE FAMILY FOR A LONG TIME,

AND THAT MEANS SOMETHING.

I'D REALLY LIKE PEACE BETWEEN US.

(elevator bell dings, doors open)

DAD, HEY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

YOU INSPIRED ME TO MAKE SOME AMENDS OF MY OWN, SON.

ARE YOU GETTING BACK TOGETHER WITH LILY? W--

NO, I'M JUST RETURNING SOMETHING OF LILY'S THAT IVY STOLE.

WHY IS THIS PERSON TAKING SO LONG GETTING BACK TO YOU?

I... I DON'T KNOW.

(cell phone alert chimes)

(beep)

WHERE YOU GOING?

DOES BLAIR NEED YOU TO COME OVER TO KILL A SPIDER?

I'M NOT WASTING ANY MORE TIME.

SO YOU'RE GIVING UP? WHAT A SHOCKER.

YOU'RE RIGHT. YOU KNOW ME SO WELL.

MY PATIENCE IS WEARING THIN.

YOU BETTER MAKE THIS PERSON APPEAR FAST.

(beep)

(Haley Reinhardt and B.o.B.'s "Oh My!" playing)

* YEAH

* WHOA, WHOA, WHOA

* WHOA

WE ALMOST SOLD OUT.

(laughs) I FEEL LIKE I'M DREAMING.

UH-OH. 2 GIRLS WRESTLING FOR LAST 3-BUTTON VEST.

I GO ACT AS REFEREE.

* I'M BURNING UP INSIDE

I HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN THAT I HAD

THE MOST BRILLIANT, TALENTED BEST FRIEND,

BUT NOW THE WHOLE WORLD GETS TO KNOW, TOO.

THANK YOU.

I'M SORRY FOR ACCUSING YOU OF TURNING SAGE AGAINST ME.

NO, I'M SORRY FOR EVERYTHING.

I DON'T THINK I WAS EVER ABLE TO GET OVER HOW HURT I WAS

THAT YOU WERE DATING DAN, WHICH IS WHY I ACTED SO BADLY.

I GET IT. IF YOU'D HAVE DATED CHUCK,

I WOULD'VE SCRATCHED YOUR EYES OUT.

(indistinct conversations)

* OH, OH, OH, OH MY!

I'VE REALLY MISSED YOU.

I MISSED YOU, TOO, B.

YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED,

AND TONIGHT'S SUCCESS IS-- IS JUST THE BEGINNING.

WELL, THIS LINE WAS INSPIRED BY BOTH OF US,

RULING CONSTANCE TOGETHER.

THIS IS YOUR SUCCESS, TOO.

I JUST HOPE THAT THIS NIGHT LEADS TO...

THE OTHER THING I'VE ALWAYS WANTED--

TO BE WITH CHUCK.

HE LOVES YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

YOU'LL FIND YOUR GREAT LOVE, TOO.

UM, I SHOULD PROBABLY GET GOING.

BUT BREAKFAST TOMORROW MORNING? SARABETH'S?

YES. 9:00 A.M. SHARP.

CONGRATULATIONS, B.

THANK YOU.

* OH MY!

LILY, PLEASE!

DON'T PROTECT HIM.

WHY WOULDN'T I PROTECT MY HUSBAND?

HE'S THE ONLY ONE THAT PROTECTS ME.

NO, THAT'S NOT TRUE.

YOU'RE THE ONE WILLING TO GO TO ANY LENGTHS,

AND I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF IT.

I KNOW YOU WANNA BELIEVE HE IS A CHANGED MAN,

THAT HE IS A GOOD MAN.

AND I WANTED TO BELIEVE THAT, TOO, SO BADLY.

BUT THE TRUTH IS, IS HE IS A RUTHLESS CRIMINAL.

IF YOU DESTROY THAT EVIDENCE,

THERE IS NOTHING TO STOP HIM FROM HURTING ANYONE,

INCLUDING YOU.

THAT'S RIDICULOUS, CHARLES.

HE WOULD NEVER HURT ME.

SINCE HIS RETURN, HE HAS DONE NOTHING BUT PROVE HIS LOVE.

YOU ONCE TOLD ME MY FATHER WAS INCAPABLE OF LOVE.

THAT IS THE TRUTH.

I JUST SAW HIM IN A HOTEL ROOM, HALF-NAKED,

WITH IVY.

THAT LIE...

IS BENEATH EVEN YOU, CHARLES.

I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU OR ANYONE ELSE

THREATEN OUR FAMILY EVER AGAIN.

DON'T!

ASHES TO ASHES. DUST TO DUST.

EVEN THE BEST-LAID PLANS CAN GO BUST.

(door opens and closes)

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

I'VE BEEN CALLING FOR AN HOUR.

I JUST GOT YOUR MESSAGES.

ARE YOU--

OKAY? NO! I'M NOT OKAY!

OUR PLAN FAILED.

OKAY, RUFUS MUST'VE TAKEN THE MICROFILM FROM MY PURSE

AND GIVEN IT TO LILY.

I WAS WITH BART WHEN SHE CALLED HIM

TO TELL HIM THAT SHE DESTROYED IT.

SO LILY'S... STILL WITH BART?

YES.

AND NOW THAT HE KNOWS I'M AFTER LILY,

HE'S THREATENED TO DESTROY ME.

(whispers) LOOK, HE'S SCARY, WILLIAM. HE'LL DO IT.

CALM DOWN FOR A SECOND.

I CAN'T!

CAN'T YOU SEE THAT WITHOUT THE MICROFILM,

WE CAN'T FIGHT BACK?

I KNOW THAT I-I PROMISED LOLA THAT WE'D DO EVERYTHING WE COULD

TO DESTROY LILY.

BUT... WE'VE DONE EVERYTHING THAT WE COULD.

YOU'RE RIGHT. I SUPPOSE WE SHOULD...

LEAVE AND REGROUP FOR NOW.

I KNOW THAT WE DIDN'T GET LILY, BUT...

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS THAT WE HAVE EACH OTHER.

OF COURSE.

(cell phone rings)

(beep)

(sighs) HELLO?

(Bart) So Chuck's little game is over, Nathaniel.

IN SPITE OF YOU TIPPING HIM OFF, HE LOST.

OF COURSE, ONCE A LOSER, ALWAYS A LOSER.

(slurring) WHY DON'T YOU GO GIVE YOUR... (hiccups)

S-STIRRING LITTLE VICTORY SPEECH TO SOMEONE WHO CARES?

OH, YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT. NO ONE DOES.

You're just lucky that Lily destroyed the microfilm

AND BOUGHT YOU A REPRIEVE.

I OWN YOU, AND YOU BETTER START ACTING LIKE IT.

What, you gonna call the police?

ALL RIGHT, FINE. JUST DO IT. HAVE ME ARRESTED.

Oh, you're of more use to me out of jail...

FOR THE MOMENT.

YOU OWE ME.

Sober up

AND GET READY TO PAY THE PRICE.

(beep)

(scoffs)

(beep)

(indistinct conversations)

THERE YOU ARE.

THE LINE WAS A GIGANTIC SUCCESS.

EVEN THE MANNEQUINS WERE STRIPPED NAKED.

AND NOW WE ARE HAVING A FETE AT THE ATELIER TO CELEBRATE,

SO OF COURSE I NEED YOU BY MY SIDE.

AND WHY HAVEN'T YOU BEEN ANSWERING YOUR PHONE?

I'M HAPPY FOR YOU, BLAIR.

FORGET ME.

CHUCK?

WHAT HAPPENED?

WHAT I SHOULD'VE ALWAYS EXPECTED.

THE ONLY PARENT WHO EVER LOVED ME,

THE MOTHER WHO CHOSE ME AS A SON,

ABANDONED ME.

(mouths word)

I FINALLY HAD THE EVIDENCE TO VANQUISH MY FATHER.

SHE DESTROYED IT TO PROTECT HIM.

WE'LL FIND NEW EVIDENCE.

WE'LL FIND ANOTHER WAY.

THERE IS NO OTHER WAY.

THIS WAS IT. IT'S OVER.

WELL, EVEN IF WE CAN'T PUT BART BEHIND BARS,

WE'LL STILL BE TOGETHER.

STOP... LYING TO YOURSELF.

WE MADE A PACT.

YOU FULFILLED YOUR SIDE. I FAILED AT MINE.

WE CAN' BE TOGETHER.

CHUCK...

PLEASE.

GO.

JUST GO.

HEY.

HEY.

SO I FINALLY MADE AMENDS WITH BLAIR,

AND WE'RE IN A REALLY GOOD PLACE AND I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER.

HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

I HATE TO COMPETE,

BUT I MADE AMENDS WITH CHUCK, NATE, AND MY DAD.

WOW. I'M IMPRESSED.

YEAH, ALL RIGHT.

SO NOW THAT WE'VE KNOCKED DOWN OUR LAST OBSTACLES,

ARE WE FINALLY READY TO DO THIS?

WELL, DO YOU REMEMBER THAT WE SAID

IF WE EVER JUMPED INTO A RELATIONSHIP AGAIN THAT

THAT WOULD BE IT?

THAT WE WOULD ONLY GET ONE MORE CHANCE?

ARE YOU SURE THAT

I'M THE ONE PERSON YOU WANNA BE WITH?

ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT BLAIR?

SERENA, YES, I'M SURE YOU ARE THE ONE.

BUT WHETHER OR NOT I'VE ADMITTED IT TO MYSELF,

YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THE ONE.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

YEAH, I'M SURE.

(Chromatics' "Kill For Love" playing)

WAIT. HOLD ON.

I THOUGHT THE WHOLE POINT OF THIS WAS TO GO PUBLIC.

UH, WHAT--WHAT HAPPENED TO GETTING FRESH AIR?

I MEAN, SHOULDN'T WE GO OUT AND GET A DRINK OR SOMETHING?

SUDDENLY, I'M OKAY WITH BEING A SHUT-IN.

* EVERYBODY'S GOT A SECRET TO HIDE *

LET ME AT LEAST GET CHAMPAGNE SO WE CAN CELEBRATE.

* EVERYONE IS SLIPPING BACKWARDS *

SOMETIMES THE LIGHT IS SO DAZZLING

IT'S ALL YOU CAN SEE.

* I DRANK THE WATER AND I FELT ALL RIGHT *

OTHER TIMES, DARK CLOUDS DEVOUR YOU,

AND IT SEEMS THE SKIES WILL NEVER CLEAR.

* IN MY MIND I WAS WAITING FOR CHANGE *

* I CAN'T REMEMBER IF I LIKE WHAT I SAID *

OH!

(all cheering)

* IT WENT STRAIGHT TO MY HEAD

BUT WHEN THE SUN BEAMS WHILE THE RAIN FALLS,

IT CAN BRING A BITTERSWEET RAINBOW.

* TOP OF MY HEAD

* BUT I KILLED FOR LOVE

(cell phone rings)

(ring)

(lowered voice) I ONLY HAVE A MINUTE.

HUMPHREY, GOING ROGUE IS NOT PART OF OUR AGREEMENT.

WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?

I'M WRITING THE SERENA CHAPTER.

WHAT?

(beep)

SO WATCH OUT.

JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOU'RE DANCING OFF INTO THE SUNSET,

A LIGHTNING BOLT MAY STRIKE YOU DOWN.

X.O.X.O., GOSSIP GIRL.