All language subtitles for Gossip.Girl.S06E06.WEBRip.x264-ION10

GOSSIP GIRL HERE--
YOUR ONE AND ONLY SOURCE

INTO THE SCANDALOUS LIVES
OF MANHATTAN'S ELITE.

CAN WE PLEASE TURN IT OFF?

YOU MANIPULATED ME
INTO THINKING THAT IT WAS OVER

SO I WOULD CHEAT ON HER,

And I can't marry someone
who always has another sex tape

OR SURPRISE SCHEME UP
THEIR SLEEVE.

YOU WANNA GRAB A BURGER?

SO BART WAS USING THE HORSES
TO HIDE THE MONEY

HE WAS BUYING
ILLEGAL OIL WITH?

HE DID IT SO HE COULD AVOID
FEDERAL PRISON.

LOLA RETURNED IT TO ME.

THAT'S CAROL'S PORTION
OF CeCe's ESTATE.

I NEVER THOUGHT I'D BE GRATEFUL
TO CeCe RHODES.

MISS ELEANOR CALL.
SHE SAW PHOTOS OF COTILLION.

SHE SAY SHE COME HOME
TO FIX DECORUM DISASTER.

AND WHO AM I?

THAT'S A SECRET
I'LL NEVER TELL.

YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME.

X.O.X.O., GOSSIP GIRL.

-- Captions by VITA --

(Gossip Girl) THEY SAY
THE EARLY BIRD GETS THE WORM.

INSPIRING MOTIVATION...
IF YOU'RE THE BIRD.

THE WORM, HOWEVER, HAS NO IDEA

WHEN HER FUTURE
WILL BE PLUCKED AWAY

BY THE NEXT AIRBORNE ATTACKER.

MY MOTHER'S PLANE LANDED
45 MINUTES AGO.

LOOK, ALIVE, PEOPLE!

SHE WAS SO FURIOUS THAT MY
COTILLION DRESS WAS ASSOCIATED

WITH SERENA'S
SICKENING SEX TAPE.

EVERYTHING MUST BE PERFECT.

AND "PERFECT" DOES NOT INCLUDE
TABLOID CONTRABAND.

HAND IT OVER.

(White Arrows' "Little Birds"
playing)

GET THIS OUT OF MY SIGHT.

MY MOTHER CANNOT SEE
THAT REVENGE SMUT.

ON SECOND THOUGHT,
YOU GO WITH IT.

HOW DARE HUMPHREY WRITE THAT
I AM CONNIVING, MANIPULATIVE,

AND STUCK IN HIGH SCHOOL?

I AM NOT ALL SCHEME
AND NO SUBSTANCE.

HELL HAVE NO FURY
LIKE A LONELY BOY SCORNED.

WELL, HE DOESN'T MATTER.

WHEN MY MOTHER SEES
THE DRESS ORDERS,

SHE WILL BE SO BUSY
SINGING MY PRAISES

THAT SHE WON'T HAVE TIME
TO PAY ATTENTION TO--

PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT,
BLAIR?

WHAT DON'T YOU WANT ME
PAYING ATTENTION TO?

MOTHER! WELCOME HOME!

WHAT IS THIS, "DOWNTON ABBEY"?

EVERYONE, BACK TO WORK!

(employees murmuring)

(sighs) DOROTA, WHEN DID YOU
BECOME A SEAMSTRESS?

GET MY BAGS,

TAKE THEM BACK TO THE HOUSE
AND START KEEPING IT.

THIS IS NOT FOOLING ANYONE.

YOU. OFFICE. NOW.

(door slides closed)

I KNOW YOU'RE UPSET,
MOTHER,

BUT MY COTILLION DRESS
HAS ALREADY BEEN ORDERED

BY THE THREE B's--

BARNEYS, BERGDORF'S,

AND THE LESSER BUT STILL
RELEVANT BLOOMINGDALE'S.

I ACHIEVED YOUR GOAL.

AT THE COST
OF MY COMPANY'S REPUTATION.

A FEW SALES DO NOT MAKE UP

FOR A RUNWAY STRIP SHOW
AND SEX TAPES,

AND BANDAGE DRESSES
WITHOUT THE--THE BANDAGES.

WELL, I ADMIT
A SHIFT IN MARKETING STRATEGY

MAY BE CALLED FOR.

NO, THE--THE ISSUE GOES DEEPER
THAN THAT, BLAIR. IT'S YOU.

YOU AND YOUR--
YOUR SPLIT PERSONALITY.

WELL, YOU MUST BE REFERRING
TO MY ABILITY TO MULTITASK.

I AM REFERRING
TO YOUR DARK AND SCHEMING

AND, FRANKLY,
SEXUALLY INAPPROPRIATE SIDE.

I LIKE TO THINK OF MYSELF
AS OPEN-MINDED?

FOR AS LONG AS
I CAN REMEMBER,

YOU HAVE STRUGGLED
BETWEEN YOUR TWO NATURES.

I KNOW THAT YOU ARE
A BEAUTIFUL, INTELLIGENT,

AMBITIOUS YOUNG BUSINESSWOMAN.

BUT IF YOU WANT
TO CONTINUE TO RUN

MY MULTIMILLION-DOLLAR
CORPORATION,

THE DEVIANT HALF HAS TO GO.

FOR GOOD!

I UNDERSTAND.

THERE WON'T BE AN ISSUE.

MY GRACE KELLY CAN DEFEAT
MY GRACE JONES,

NO PROBLEM.

UH-HUH.

WELL, HONESTLY, I'VE--
I'VE SLEPT SO MUCH BETTER

SINCE YOU FOUND OUT

THAT LOLA RETURNED THE MONEY
FROM CeCe's ESTATE TO ME.

I'M REALLY SORRY I KEPT THAT
A SECRET FROM YOU.

I'M JUST GLAD
EVERYTHING'S OUT IN THE OPEN

AND YOU HAD THE MONEY
TO SAVE THE GALLERY

IN TIME FOR TONIGHT'S OPENING.

I'M SO EXCITED
IT'S FINALLY HAPPENING.

ARE THERE
ANY LAST-MINUTE DETAILS

YOU WANT ME TO TAKE CARE OF?

WELL, WE NEED TO GIVE
THE CATERER A FINAL HEAD COUNT.

(stool scrapes floor)

DO YOU REMEMBER
HOW MANY R.S.V.P.s WE HAD?

I NEVER CHECKED, BUT...

I'M SURE EVERYONE'S COMING.

UH...

WHAT'S WRONG?

WELL, THIS CAN'T BE RIGHT.

THEY'RE ALL REGRETS.

WHAT HAPPENED TO
YOUR ART WORLD CONNECTIONS?

NO "ART FORUM" EDITOR.

(taps keys)

NO MAJOR COLLECTORS.
HEY, EVEN BEX SAID "NO."

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?

(elevator bell dings)

YOU SURFING
THE EMPIRE CCTV AGAIN?

WHAT, IS OLIVIA MUNN
STAYING HERE?

WRONG PLACE.

THIS IS THE SECURITY FOOTAGE

FROM THE VAN DER WOODSEN
BUILDING.

HOW'D YOU GET YOUR HANDS
ON THAT?

WELL, VANYA CAN'T BE BRIBED,
BUT THE NIGHT DOORMAN

WAS REMARKABLY OPEN
TO A CASH PAYMENT.

SO WHAT ARE
YOU LOOKING FOR?

WHEN IVY
WAS IN THE APARTMENT,

SHE SAID BART WALKED IN

WITH AN ENVELOPE
HE HELD ON TO RATHER TIGHTLY.

I WAS HOPING TO SEE

A RETURN ADDRESS
OR SOME DISTINGUISHING MARKS.

DID YOU FIND ANYTHING?

INDEED.

THE ENVELOPE HAD THE SEAL

OF THE FIRST INTERNATIONAL BANK
OF SUDAN.

THE FINANCIAL RECORDS
FROM HIS ILLEGAL OIL TRADE?

I ASSUME SO, BUT BART CLOSED
ALL THE ACCOUNTS THAT MORNING.

AND HE'S NOT ABOUT TO SHOW YOU
WHAT'S IN THE ENVELOPE

OR TELL YOU WHERE IT IS.

HE WON'T,
BUT SOMEONE ELSE MIGHT.

BRUCE CAPLAN DROPPED
THE ENVELOPE OFF

TO BART THAT MORNING.

THE BASS BUSINESS MANAGER?

HE WON'T SPILL
ANY OF BART'S SECRETS TO YOU.

HE WON'T, BUT IF THE HEAD
OF "THE SPECTATOR" WERE

TO ASK FOR BUSINESS MANAGEMENT
ADVICE...

HE MIGHT ACCIDENTALLY
LET SOMETHING SLIP.

ESPECIALLY IF IT'S THE KIND
OF MEETING THAT LOOSENS LIPS.

OKAY.

YEAH. THANK YOU.

WELL, I FIGURED OUT WHY
NO ONE'S COMING TO OUR OPENING.

TURNS OUT THERE'S A HUGE BENEFIT
TONIGHT AT THE CONRAD

FOR THE ART PRODUCTION FUND.
GUESS WHO'S HOSTING.

LILY.

SHE MUST'VE FIGURED OUT

WHEN YOU WERE PLANNING ON
OPENING YOUR GALLERY,

SCHEDULED HER OWN BENEFIT
TO SABOTAGE YOU.

WELL, IT'S NOT JUST ME
SHE'S SABOTAGING.

IT'S MY ARTISTS, TOO.

THIS GROUP SHOW
WAS A BIG DEAL TO THEM.

HOW AM I GONNA EXPLAIN
THAT NO ONE'S COMING

BECAUSE OF
MY VINDICTIVE EX-WIFE?

WELL, EVERYONE WOULD STILL COME
IF HER EVENT WAS CANCELED.

OH, SHE'S NOT GONNA CANCEL
A HUGE BENEFIT FOR ME.

SHE WON'T EVEN TAKE MY CALL.

I'M NOT CALLING HER.

I'M CALLING
THE ART PRODUCTION FUND.

I FEEL LIKE DONATING
SOME MONEY.

GOOD MORNING, DANIEL.

GOOD MORNING.

THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME STAY
IN ERIC'S ROOM.

CAN I MAKE YOU AND BART
A CUP?

OH, NO. I'M GOOD, THANKS.
AND BART IS OUT OF TOWN.

I'M ON MY WAY TO VIA QUADRONNO
TO MEET THE GIRLS

BEFORE MY BENEFIT MEETING.

HOW'S THAT GOING,
BY THE WAY?

I FORGOT HOW MUCH
I ENJOY THROWING A PARTY

WITHOUT HAVING MY HUSBAND
STANDING OVER MY SHOULDER,

JUDGING ME.

I MEAN RUFUS, OF COURSE,

NOT BART.

FORGIVE ME, DANIEL.

YOU CAN NEVER OFFEND ME
WITH THE TRUTH.

NONFAT CAPPUCCINO,
EXTRA FOAM, NO SUGAR.

YOU REMEMBERED.

YEAH, WELL,
IT'S BEEN A WHILE,

ALMOST AS LONG
AS SINCE WE WOKE UP

IN THE SAME APARTMENT
TOGETHER.

UNLESS YOU COUNT THE WALDORFS'.
REMEMBER?

(taps tablet)

I CERTAINLY FORGOT
THIS WAS COMING OUT TODAY.

YEAH. WE'VE BOTH BURNED
A LOT OF BRIDGES THIS YEAR.

BUT AT LEAST WE HAVE
EACH OTHER.

AND I COULDN'T BE MORE GRATEFUL
FOR YOU LETTING ME CAMP OUT,

BUT I-I DON'T WANT
TO OVERSTAY MY WELCOME.

I FINALLY GOT MY FIRST PAYCHECK
FOR "VANITY FAIR,"

SO I THINK IT'S TIME FOR ME
TO FIND MY OWN PLACE

AND LET YOU GET BACK
TO YOUR LIFE.

YEAH. I MEAN, WE CAN'T HIDE OUT
HERE FOREVER. (chuckles)

(chuckles)

BUT, HEY, IF YOU--IF YOU NEED
TO FIND A NEW PLACE,

I-I KNOW SOMEONE
WHO KNOWS EVERYONE,

WHO HAS TERRIFIC INSTINCTS
FOR REAL ESTATE,

AND WHO HAPPENS TO HAVE
AN AFTERNOON FREE

TO LOOK AT APARTMENTS
WITH YOU.

WHO?

OH. RIGHT.
YEAH, THAT'S YOU. OKAY.

SO DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
WHAT NEIGHBORHOOD YOU WANT?

I CAN'T GET FAR ENOUGH AWAY
FROM MY DAD RIGHT NOW,

SO BROOKLYN'S OUT.

SO UPPER EAST SIDE?

I WAS--I WAS THINKING LOWER.

(laughs)

WHAT'S FUNNY ABOUT THAT?

OH, I KNOW YOU LIKE THE IDEA

OF SAYING YOU LIVE IN
AN L.E.S. WALK-UP,

BUT WE BOTH KNOW YOU
WELL ENOUGH TO KNOW

YOU SECRETLY LONG FOR
A CONDO IN THE WEST VILLAGE.

FINE.
A DOORMAN WOULD BE NICE,

BUT I'LL JUST LIE ABOUT
HOW MUCH RENT I PAY.

OKAY, LET'S TAKE A CAB
TO WEST FOURTH THEN.

NO, WE GOT A RIDE.

YOU BOUGHT A VESPA?

(chuckles) THAT'S RIGHT.

I FORGOT HOW MUCH
YOU LIKE VESPAS.

BUT I GOT SO USED TO DRIVING ONE
AROUND ITALY THIS SUMMER

THAT I DECIDED
I COULDN'T LIVE WITHOUT.

HERE. HOP ON.

(men) SERENA! SERENA!

(man)
HEY, I LOVED THAT SEX TAPE!

SERENA, SERENA, OVER HERE!

NO.

TURN AROUND
AND GIVE ME A SMILE, SERENA.

WHEN'S THE SEQUEL?
TALK TO US.

SPOTTED--
S. AND D. GETTING COZY AGAIN.

EVEN I HAVE TO ADMIT THEY SURE
LOOK CUTE ON THAT SCOOTER.

(engine rumbling)

(turns off engine)

OH, MY GOSH.
THAT WAS AMAZING!

YOU WERE--
YOU WERE LIKE JASON BOURNE,

RIDING UP ON THE SIDEWALK.

YOU KNOW, THAT SEX TAPE--
I KNEW IT WENT VIRAL,

BUT I DIDN'T EXPECT THAT.

WELL, GIVEN THE MEDIA CIRCUS,

MAYBE TODAY'S NOT THE DAY
TO BE SEARCHING FOR APARTMENTS.

NOBODY WANTS A TENANT
TRAILED BY TMZ.

(camera shutter clicks)

THAT'S GREAT.

ALL RIGHT, WE SHOULD PROBABLY
GET OFF THE STREETS.

YEAH. I COULD USE A DRINK.

YOU KNOW WHAT?
I KNOW A PLACE

WHERE NO ONE WILL THINK
TO LOOK FOR US.

PERFECT.

(engine revs)

(cork pops)

THANK YOU.

SO, BRUCE, IS THERE
ANYTHING ELSE I CAN GET YOU?

WOW. CRYSTAL AND CRISTAL
IS MY FAVORITE COMBINATION.

BUT MAYBE WE'D BETTER GET

TO THAT URGENT BUSINESS MATTER
YOU MENTIONED.

WELL, THERE ARE CERTAIN THINGS
ABOUT "THE SPECTATOR" FINANCES

I WOULD LIKE
TO REMAIN CONFIDENTIAL.

I WONDER IF YOU COULD
ADVISE ME

ON THE SAFEST WAY
TO KEEP THOSE HIDDEN.

STORING CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION
IS... A SPECIALTY OF MINE.

BUT I LIKE TO WORK ON
A CLIENT-BY-CLIENT BASIS.

COULD YOU GIVE ME
SOME EXAMPLES?

I'M SORRY. UH, MY CLIENTS DEPEND
ON MY DISCRETION.

BESIDES, I DON'T WANT
TO TALK ABOUT THAT NOW.

(chuckles)

SEND ME YOUR BOOKS.
I'LL MAKE A RECOMMENDATION.

IN THE MEANTIME,

I... WOULD LIKE TO TAKE
THE REST OF THIS... MEETING...

ELSEWHERE.

(giggling)

DON'T FORGET YOUR JACKET.

OH.

(elevator bell dings)

THANKS.

(woman giggles)

WHY DID YOU LET HIM LEAVE
WITHOUT GETTING THE INFORMATION?

HE WASN'T GONNA
GIVE IT TO ME,

SO I FIGURED
I'D JUST TAKE IT.

(elevator bell dings,
doors open)

I WILL ADMIT
YOU HAVE TAKEN STEPS.

LIKE THE--THE PEONIES
WERE AN ELEGANT ADDITION

TO THE HANDWRITTEN APOLOGIES
YOU SENT

TO EACH OF THE BOARD MEMBERS
OF THE COTILLION.

AND POPPY DID SEEM TOUCHED
BY MY DONATION

TO HER CHARITY
FOR CHILDREN WHO CAN'T SMILE.

SOUND LIKE MISS BLAIR SHOW
GREAT GRACE AND DIGNITY.

YES, THAT'S RIGHT, DOROTA.

MY MOTHER HAS SHOWN ME
THE ERRORS OF MY WAY.

SO NOW YOU CAN
RETURN TO PARIS,

REASSURED THAT YOUR COMPANY'S
ON THE STRAIGHT AND NARROW.

LET'S NOT GET AHEAD
OF OURSELVES.

I SAID STEPS,

AS IN THE FIRST OF MANY
ON THE ROAD TO RECOVERY.

WELL, I HAVE ALREADY ADMITTED

THAT I AM POWERLESS
OVER MY SCHEMING

AND THAT MY LIFE HAS
BECOME UNMANAGEABLE.

WHAT ELSE IS THERE?

AMENDS
TO THE FASHION COMMUNITY

WHICH INFORMS THE MASSES.

HELLO, BLAIR.

I HAD DOROTA PREPARE
A LIGHT LUNCH.

I'LL LET YOU GIRLS... CHAT.

HOW COULD SOMEONE WHO HIDES
EVERYTHING FOR EVERYONE ELSE

PICK HIS BIRTHDAY
FOR HIS PASSWORD? (laughs)

I UNDERESTIMATED YOU,
NATHANIEL.

WELL, YOU'RE NOT
THE FIRST PERSON TO SAY THAT,

BUT THERE'S NOTHING UNDER
THE INTERNATIONAL BANK OF SUDAN.

THEN PULL UP MY FATHER.

BRUCE SAID
HE HAD DIFFERENT METHODS

FOR HIDING INFORMATION
FOR DIFFERENT CLIENTS.

MAYBE THERE'S A RECORD OF IT.

THERE'S NOTHING HERE
BUT ADDRESSES AND PHONE NUMBERS.

THEN LOOK AT THE CALENDAR

THE MORNING HE DROPPED OFF
THE ENVELOPE.

MAYBE THERE'S A CLUE
TO WHERE HE WENT.

WAIT. THERE'S AN ENTRY HERE
FROM THE MORNING.

IT SAYS "BASS TRAFFIC."

(indistinct conversations)

(glasses clatter)

(man) I'M SORRY. WE'RE NOT OPEN
TO THE PUBLIC JUST YET.

OH, WE HAVE AN APPOINTMENT.

RUFUS HUMPHREY. HI.

THIS IS IVY DICKENS.

BENEDICT TATE.

I'M DOING P.R.
FOR TONIGHT'S EVENT.

SO PLEASE, HOW CAN I BE
OF ASSISTANCE?

WE WOULD LIKE TO PURCHASE
ALL OF THE ARTWORK.

I APPRECIATE YOUR ENTHUSIASM,

BUT TONIGHT'S SILENT AUCTION
IS EXPECTED TO RAISE

HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS
OF DOLLARS. (chuckles)

HOW MANY HUNDREDS?

5?

7?

YOU KNOW, 8 HAS ALWAYS BEEN
A LUCKY NUMBER FOR ME.

SO NOW YOU CAN, UH, CANCEL
YOUR EXPENSIVE PARTY

AND SEND EVERYONE HOME.

I'M--I'M SORRY. I THINK
THERE'S BEEN A MISUNDERSTANDING.

I AM HAPPY TO DELIVER
ALL THE ARTWORK TO YOU

AFTER THE EVENT, BUT IT'S
TOO LATE AN HOUR TO CANCEL.

AND, WELL... (chuckles)

WE NEED SOMETHING
ON THE WALLS.

THEN I HAVE AN IDEA THAT MAY
HELP YOU RAISE EVEN MORE MONEY.

(All Wrong and the Plans
Change's "Deals" playing)

**

WHEN WE CAME HERE
ON OUR FIRST DATE,

YOU DIDN'T KNOW
HOW TO HOLD THE CUE.

DID YOU SPEND THE LAST FIVE
YEARS TAKING BILLIARD LESSONS?

I COULD ALWAYS PLAY.

YOU HUSTLED ME.

WELL, NO. I-I JUST WANTED
TO MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER

AFTER YOUR EPIC
FRENCH ORDERING FAILURE.

OR MAYBE YOU WERE LOOKING
FOR AN EXCUSE

FOR ME TO PUT MY ARMS
AROUND YOU.

A GIRL NEVER REVEALS
HER SECRETS.

(cell phone alert chimes)

UNLESS YOU'RE GOSSIP GIRL.

SPOTTED--TWO OLD FLAMES
SLUMMING IT ON MEMORY LANE.

WHO DOESN'T LOVE A SEQUEL?

DID SHE GIVE
OUR EXACT LOCATION?

YEAH, WHICH MEANS
OUR MOB OF NEW FRIENDS

ARE PROBABLY ALREADY
CAMPED OUTSIDE.

WE'RE JUST FUELING THEIR FIRE
BY BEING TOGETHER.

WHY DON'T I GO OUT FRONT
WITH THE VESPA?

I'LL DISTRACT 'EM, AND YOU JUST
SNEAK OUT BACK AND GRAB A TAXI.

WELL, WE DON'T HAVE TO GO
RIGHT NOW.

I'M JUST ABOUT TO WIN.

PLEASE. LET'S--LET'S NOT MAKE
MY HUMILIATION OFFICIAL.

AND THE SOONER WE GET
OUT OF HERE, THE BETTER.

**

THIS WAS NICE, THOUGH.
I'LL MISS IT.

MM.

**

TRAFFIC.

TRAFFIC JAM.

TRAFFIC LIGHT. MAYBE THEY HAD
A MEETING IN A CAR.

OR IT'S
BART'S OIL TRAFFICKING

OR SOMETHING ELSE
HE'S ILLEGALLY SELLING.

LIKE A NUCLEAR BOMB
IN A BRIEFCASE.

YOU WATCH TOO MANY MOVIES.

SO DOES BRUCE.

WAIT. THAT'S IT.

THE MOVIE "TRAFFIC"
IS RIGHT HERE.

I REMEMBER IN THAT FILM,
THE HEAD OF THE DRUG CARTEL

STORED HIS ILLEGAL
ACCOUNT INFORMATION

IN THE BACK OF A PAINTING.

WHAT, YOU THINK
THAT'S WHERE BART HID

WHATEVER
WAS IN THE ENVELOPE?

WELL,
THERE'S A LOT OF PAINTINGS

IN THE VAN DER WOODSEN
APARTMENT.

I'M JUST, UNFORTUNATELY,
STILL BANNED FROM THE BUILDING.

I GUESS I'LL HAVE TO
PAY THEM A VISIT.

SO I CALLED AND I CALLED
AND I CALLED AND I CALLED,

AND THEN I JUST NEVER
HEARD FROM HIM AGAIN.

IS THAT THE END
OF THE STORY?

MM-HMM.

WOW. YOU REALLY ARE
SO... ENTERTAINING.

SO WHEN MY MOTHER RETURNS,

TELL HER THAT I APOLOGIZED
AND THAT WE'RE BEST FRIENDS.

I'M SORRY, BLAIR. THIS WAS FUN,
BUT I WON'T DO THAT

BECAUSE IT'S NOT THE TRUTH.

YES, IT IS.

NO, IT'S NOT.

YES, IT IS.

NO, IT'S NOT.

(whispers) YES, IT IS.

NO, IT'S NOT.

I HAVE BEEN CORDIAL TO YOU
FOR THE LAST... 52 MINUTES.

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA

THE PSYCHOLOGICAL TORTURE
THAT I HAVE ENDURED

BEING NICE TO YOU?

I SHOULD HAVE JUST SKIPPED AHEAD
TO THIS FROM THE START.

IT THAT ME AS MRS. MINGOTT
IN A FAT SUIT?

THAT WAS EMBARRASSING.

AGREED, WHICH IS WHY
YOU DON'T WANT THIS

BOUNCING
AROUND THE BLOGOSPHERE.

NO ONE WANTS TO TAKE
FASHION ADVICE FROM HER.

MOTHER!

LADIES,
HOW ARE WE GETTING ALONG?

FAMOUSLY.

BLAIR JUST TRIED
TO BLACKMAIL ME.

I'M SORRY, ELEANOR. I TRIED.

THIS IS ALL NELLY'S FAULT.

SHE WAS CLEARLY LYING BECAUSE
SHE'S ALWAYS BEEN JEALOUS OF ME.

THE ONLY THING CLEAR

IS THAT DANIEL HUMPHREY
WAS RIGHT ABOUT YOU.

YOU READ THAT DRECK?

ON THE PLANE.

AND HIS--HIS CENTRAL THESIS
IS CORRECT.

YOU ARE RUNNING MY BUSINESS

LIKE YOU'RE STILL
THE MEANEST GIRL IN HIGH SCHOOL.

I AM TRYING.

RELAPSE IS PART
OF RECOVERY.

PLEASE, JUST GIVE ME
ONE MORE CHANCE.

I'M SORRY, BLAIR. IT'S OVER.
I CAN'T.

I HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE
BUT TO DEMOTE YOU

AND TAKE BACK THE PRESIDENCY
OF WALDORF DESIGNS,

EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY.

WATCH OUT, B.

THEY SAY YOU'RE ONLY AS GOOD
AS THE COMPANY YOU KEEP,

AND RIGHT NOW
YOU'RE NOT KEEPING ANY.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

WHY ARE YOU TAKING DOWN
THE PAINTINGS FOR MY EVENT?

I THINK YOU MEAN OUR EVENT.

SINCE EVERYONE IN THE ART WORLD
IS COMING HERE TONIGHT

INSTEAD OF MY GALLERY OPENING,

I DECIDED
TO HAVE MY OPENING HERE.

THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS.
I'M GONNA TALK TO BENEDICT

AND HAVE HIM REINSTALL MY ART
IMMEDIATELY.

WELL, THAT WOULD BE DIFFICULT
SINCE WE OWN IT ALL NOW.

LILY, WELCOME.

I SEE YOU'VE MET
OUR NEW EVENT CO-SPONSORS.

I HAVE,

AND I'M NOT THRILLED THAT
MY CAREFULLY CURATED PIECES

ARE BEING REPLACED WITHOUT
EVEN SO MUCH AS A PHONE CALL.

OH.

WELL, I'M SORRY.

I NEVER IMAGINED
THAT YOU'D OBJECT

TO RAISING MORE MONEY
FOR SUCH A WORTHWHILE CAUSE.

LILY, RUFUS AND IVY
HAVE HELPED A.P.F.

BREAK FUND-RAISING RECORDS.

CERTAINLY,
SHARING YOUR HOSTING DUTIES

IS A-A SMALL PRICE TO PAY.

OF COURSE,

WHICH IS WHY YOU'VE INSPIRED ME

TO MAKE MY OWN
ADDITIONAL DONATION,

WHICH I AM SURE WILL BREAK
THEIR RECORD.

(vehicles passing, horn honks)

(door opens)

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE,
HUMPH-FREAK!

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT A MESS
YOUR ARTICLE HAS MADE?

NO, BUT I'M GUESSING
YOU'RE GONNA TELL ME

EVEN IF I KEEP WALKING.

MY MOTHER DEMOTED ME, THANKS TO
YOUR DISPARAGING DRIVEL.

RIGHT, AND I'M SURE IT HAD
NOTHING TO DO

WITH
YOUR WORK-RELATED BEHAVIOR.

FIX THIS,

OR WHEN I'M DONE WITH YOU,
YOU WON'T EVEN HAVE

GEORGINA SPARKS' COUCH
IN BROOKLYN.

I WILL FLY VANESSA BACK

FROM WHATEVER THIRD-WORLD
COUNTRY SHE'S IN IF I HAVE TO.

DO YOU HEAR YOURSELF?

YOU'RE TRYING TO BULLY ME

INTO RETRACTING AN ARTICLE
ABOUT YOU BEING A BULLY.

NO.

I'M PROVING TO MY MOTHER
THAT I AM

THE MATURE, POLITE,
PROFESSIONAL WOMAN

WHO SHOULD BE RUNNING
WALDORF DESIGNS.

BLAIR, YOU TRACKED ME DOWN
WITH YOUR "SPOTTED" MAP

AND THREATENED ME
WITH THE RETURN OF VANESSA.

YOU ARE NOT MATURE, POLITE,
OR PROFESSIONAL,

AND EVEN YOUR OWN MOTHER
KNOWS IT.

(beep)

NELLY?

DO YOU THINK YOU COULD MEET ME
AT LILY'S BENEFIT TONIGHT?

THERE'S SOMETHING I THINK
YOU WOULD WANT TO HEAR.

AND YOU'RE SURE
THERE'S NOTHING?

THERE'S NOTHING
IN ANY OF THIS ART.

It could be subtle.

Tape on the backing
or rip in the seam.

NO, THERE'S NOTHING.

AND THE BACK OF ARTWORK
IS REALLY BORING.

(door closes)

HOLD ON ONE SECOND.

Someone's coming.

NATE? WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I AM JUST WRITING
A STORY ON LILY'S ARTWORK

FOR "THE SPECTATOR."

Oh, for the A.P.F. benefit
tonight?

YEAH. EXACTLY.

WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?

UH, JUST REREADING
AN OLD SHORT STORY.

HEY, IS EVERYBODY A WRITER
THESE DAYS?

IT--NO, IT'S DAN'S.

WOW. AREN'T YOU GETTING ENOUGH
OF HIM IN "VANITY FAIR"?

IT'S THE ONE
FROM "THE NEW YORKER."

YOU KNOW, THE STORY ABOUT
THE FIRST TIME HE SAW ME

AT THAT PARTY.

DO NOT TELL ME IN SOME
TWISTED TURN OF EVENTS THAT

THAT SEX TAPE
MADE YOU MISS HIM.

NO, IT'S JUST...

WE SPENT SOME TIME TOGETHER,

AND... I DON'T KNOW. IT--
IT BROUGHT UP SOME OLD MEMORIES.

SERENA, YOU'RE
REALLY VULNERABLE RIGHT NOW

AFTER STEVEN BROKE UP
WITH YOU.

IT'S TOO SOON TO HAVE
REAL FEELINGS FOR DAN.

BUT WHAT IF THOSE FEELINGS
NEVER REALLY WENT AWAY?

THAT HIGH SCHOOL KID
YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH--

THAT'S NOT WHO HE IS ANYMORE,
OKAY?

HE ALMOST COST ME
"THE SPECTATOR"

TO SELL HIS SERIAL.

AND HE EXPLOITED ALL OF US
IN THOSE CHAPTERS.

I KNOW. YOU'RE RIGHT.
(elevator bell dings)

I MEAN, HE HAS BECOME
A SELFISH EGOMANIAC WHO WILL...

SERENA--

DESTROY HIS FRIENDS
FOR--FOR MONEY AND ATTENTION,

FOR FAME AND--

AHEM.

I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU LIKE
CHOCOLATE-COVERED STRAWBERRIES.

DAN, WAIT.

HEY, LISTEN,
I BETTER GET GOING.

WAIT. WHAT ABOUT THE AUCTION
SERENA MENTIONED?

Look around.
Is there anything missing?

THAT PAINTING OF
THE RAINBOW WOMAN IS GONE.

OH.

MY RICHARD PHILLIPS
HAS ARRIVED.

LILY, ARE YOU SURE?

YOU KNOW, IT'S ONE
OF MY FAVORITE PIECES

IN MY COLLECTION,
BUT IT IS FOR A GOOD CAUSE.

AND I'VE ALREADY SENT BART
AN E-MAIL,

AND I KNOW HE WILL AGREE.

THIS IS INCREDIBLY GENEROUS.

IN FACT, WE'RE GONNA HAVE
A LIVE AUCTION

JUST FOR THIS SPECIAL PIECE.

I KNOW SHE WILL BE
THE STAR OF THE SHOW.

THIS WORK OF ART
APPEARS TO BE A WORK OF BART.

LET THE BIDDING BEGIN.

(My Fiction's "Trophy Kids"
playing)

THIS IS SPENCER SWEENEY,
PATRICK McMULLAN,

AND FAB FIVE FREDDY.

* GIVE ME SUNSHINE

* AND DANCING

(bangs gavel)

(amplified voice) GOOD EVENING,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

AND WELCOME TO
THE ART PRODUCTION FUND BENEFIT.

FIRST, I'D LIKE TO SAY
A SPECIAL THANKS

TO RUFUS HUMPHREY
AND IVY DICKENS

FOR THEIR TREMENDOUS
CONTRIBUTION TONIGHT.

(applause)

CAREFUL, LILY.

YOU PAID A LOT OF MONEY
TO FILL THOSE WORRY LINES.

LISTEN,
YOU VILE LITTLE INTERLOPER,

YOU AND RUFUS MAY HAVE RUBBED
YOUR LAST TWO NICKELS TOGETHER

TO REPLACE MY ART,

BUT THE ONLY PEOPLE
THAT YOU'RE MAKING FOOLS OF

ARE YOURSELVES.

BUT TONIGHT, FOLKS,

THE CENTERPIECE OF THIS EVENT

WILL BE A SPECIAL LIVE AUCTION

OF RICHARD PHILLIPS'
"SPECTRUM"...

(audience murmurs)

COURTESY OF LILIAN BASS'
PERSONAL COLLECTION.

BIDDING WILL BEGIN SHORTLY.

AS I WAS SAYING,
YOU CAN PRETEND TO BE LOLA,

YOU CAN PRETEND TO BE SERENA,

BUT YOU WILL NEVER BE ME.

I DON'T WANT TO BE YOU.
I WANT TO BE BETTER.

RUFUS ALREADY THINKS I AM.

**

I ALWAYS LIKED
THAT PAINTING.

**

I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU TWO FOUND
EACH OTHER.

BLAIR.

NELLY WAS JUST TELLING ME
YOU INVITED HER HERE

TO MEET WITH HER.

I HOPE IT IS TO MAKE
AN OFFICIAL APOLOGY.

THAT I'D LOVE TO HEAR.

I'M NOT HERE TO APOLOGIZE
TO NELLY, MOTHER.

I'M HERE TO APOLOGIZE
TO YOU.

THEN WHAT AM I DOING HERE?

SHUTTING UP AND WRITING ABOUT IT
SO YOU CAN PUBLICLY RESTORE

WALDORF DESIGNS'
PRISTINE REPUTATION.

BLAIR, WHAT IS THIS ABOUT?

UNDOING ALL THE DAMAGE
MY DARK SIDE HAS DONE.

I'M A BAD SEED, MOTHER,

SO SEND ME AWAY TO
THE VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED.

**

NO ONE EXPECTS MIRACLES,
DARLING.

IT'S BEEN PART OF YOU
FOR 20-SOMETHING YEARS.

IT'S NOT GOING
TO GO AWAY OVERNIGHT.

JUST MAYBE SOMETIME
BEFORE I DIE.

Y-YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

THE REAL GRACE KELLY
HAD TALENT.

YOU HAVE TALENT.

EVEN THAT GOTH PRINCESS
JENNY HUMPHREY HAD TALENT.

BUT I DON'T.
IT'S ALL JUST PRETENSE.

WELL, YOUR RECORD
OF ACHIEVEMENTS PROVE OTHERWISE.

EVERYTHING I HAVE

WAS FROM SCHEMING AND LYING

AND WORKING THE ANGLES.

I DON'T HAVE WHAT IT TAKES.

YOU ARE MOZART.

I'M SALIERI.

NO MATTER HOW HARD I WORK,
I WILL NEVER BE YOU,

AND I THINK IT WAS
JUST MY DARK SIDE

TRYING TO HIDE THAT.

SO...

EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY,

I RESIGN
FROM WALDORF DESIGNS.

(horns honking)

DID YOU REACH ANYONE
FROM A.P.F.?

I FINALLY GOT AHOLD
OF AN ASSISTANT,

BUT SHE SAID THEY'RE
ONLY TAKING BIDS IN PERSON.

How far away are you?

AT LEAST TEN BLOCKS.

IS THERE NO WAY AROUND THIS,
LIKE ON THE SIDEWALK?

(horns continue honking)

(My Fiction's "Knives & Bombs"
playing)

(indistinct conversations)

I LIKE THAT YOUR ARTISTS REFLECT

THE SAME
SOCIALLY RELEVANT PROJECTS

WE COMMISSION
AT ART PRODUCTION FUND.

AND I LIKE THAT YOU CAN SEE
THE STREET ART INFLUENCE.

I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT THE '80s
BUT THE '40s--

DUBUFFET, POLLACK,
RAY JOHNSON.

YEAH, WHEN ARTISTS WERE
THE STARS OF NEW YORK

INSTEAD OF CELEBUTANTES.

(laughs) YES.

EXCUSE ME. CAN I SPEAK TO YOU
FOR A MOMENT?

WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU,
LILY?

ARE YOU INTERESTED
IN ONE OF MY PFAHLER PIECES

TO REPLACE YOUR PHILLIPS?

NO, THANK YOU,

AND I THINK YOU'VE MADE
YOUR POINT HERE, RUFUS.

THIS IS A BENEFIT TO RAISE MONEY
FOR A GOOD CAUSE,

AND I WON'T HAVE
YOUR LITTLE FREELOADER

MAKING A MOCKERY OF IT

BY BIDDING ON THINGS
SHE CAN'T AFFORD.

IVY CAN AFFORD
ANY PAINTING SHE WANTS.

AND WITH WHAT MONEY?
I KNOW IT'S NOT YOURS.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

IT'S CeCe's.

(bangs gavel)

(amplified voice)
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,

IF WE ARE READY TO BEGIN,

I WOULD LIKE TO START
THE BIDDING

FOR THE RICHARD PHILLIPS

AT $500,000.

(guests murmuring)

$500,000.

I HAVE $500,000.

LOLA GAVE IT BACK TO HER

WHEN SHE FOUND OUT YOUR MOTHER
WANTED IVY TO HAVE IT.

$500,000. GOING ONCE?

$500,000.
DO I HAVE $520,000?

$520,000.

SHE MAY HAVE BEEN ABLE
TO CON LOLA

OUT OF HALF
MY MOTHER'S ESTATE,

BUT SHE'LL NEVER GET
ANYTHING OF MINE.

DO I HAVE $540,000?
GOING ONCE?

$540,000.

$560,000.

$560,000. DO I HAVE $570,000?

(Ivy) $570,000.

$570,000. $570,000.
DO I HAVE $580,000?

$580,000.

$580,000. DO I HAVE $600,000?

$750,000.

$750,000.

(guests murmuring)

(Serena) I KNOW IT SOUNDED BAD,
BUT YOU HEARD IT OUT OF CONTEXT.

IN WHAT CONTEXT CAN
"SELFISH EGOMANIAC" BE POSITIVE?

I WAS TELLING NATE WHAT
A GOOD TIME I HAD WITH YOU,

BUT TH--

YEAH, I HEARD
THE "BUT" PART.

BUT THAT IT'S CONFUSING
FOR ME

BECAUSE I HAVE SPENT
THE PAST FEW MONTHS HATING YOU.

I TOLD YOU I LOVED YOU,

AND THEN YOU REJECTED ME
FOR MY BEST FRIEND.

YOU'VE REJECTED ME FOR NEARLY
EVERYONE ON THE UPPER EAST SIDE.

CAN YOU BLAME ME
FOR HAVING DOUBTS?

YOU HAD MORE THAN DOUBTS.

YOU TOLD ME YOU NEVER
WANTED TO SEE ME AGAIN.

YOU MEAN, AFTER YOU USED ME
TO MAKE A SEX TAPE

TO DESTROY ME
AND YOUR BEST FRIEND?

I'M NOT THE BAD GUY HERE.

YOU WANT EVERYONE TO BELIEVE

YOU'RE POOR, SWEET
DAN HUMPHREY FROM BROOKLYN,

BUT YOU SENT THAT VIDEO OF CHUCK
AND BLAIR INTO "GOSSIP GIRL"

TO TRY TO RUIN HER WEDDING,
AND THEN YOU PINNED IT ON ME.

YEAH, I DIDN'T WANT BLAIR
TO MARRY THE WRONG MAN.

AND IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'VE NEVER
USED "GOSSIP GIRL"

TO FURTHER YOUR OWN AGENDA.

OH, WAIT. OH, WAIT. YOU WERE
GOSSIP GIRL FOR A SECOND.

ONLY TO RESTORE BALANCE AFTER
GEORGINA'S REIGN OF TERROR--

WHO--WHO IS NOW PARTNERING WITH
YOU TO ATTACK AND HUMILIATE

EVERYONE THAT WE CARE ABOUT
IN YOUR EXPOSÉS?

WHICH LEADS US
BACK TO YOUR REASON

FOR CALLING ME
A SELFISH EGOMANIAC.

YOU'RE RIGHT.
NOW I--NOW I UNDERSTAND.

GOOD. I'M GLAD.

I WAS BEING SARCASTIC,
SERENA.

SO WAS I.

NO, YOU WEREN'T.

YES, I WAS.

LOOK--LOOK, OB--

OBVIOUSLY, TOO MUCH HAS HAPPENED
OVER THE PAST FIVE YEARS.

NO MATTER WHO WE ARE TODAY,

WE CAN'T UNDO THE THINGS
WE'VE DONE IN THE PAST,

SO IT'S PROBABLY BEST

WE JUST MOVE ON
WITHOUT EACH OTHER.

WHICH I WILL DO THE SECOND
WE GET OUT OF THIS ELEVATOR.

(clank, bell rings,
elevator powers down)

$880,000. I HAVE $880,000.
DO I HEAR $900,000?

$900,000.

$900,000.
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?

$920,000.

I'D ASK YOU THE SAME THING.

BIDDING ON AN ITEM
YOU PUT UP FOR AUCTION?

I CHANGED MY MIND WHEN
THIS GYPSY TRASH WANTED IT.

SHE WILL NOT HAVE ANYTHING
NEAR AND DEAR TO MY HEART.

(Benedict) $940,000 ONCE?

$940,000.

$960,000.

I ASSURE YOU I WON'T LET HER WIN
IF YOU STOP BIDDING.

AND WHY SHOULD I TRUST YOU?

I KNOW YOU TEAMED UP
WITH THIS CHARLATAN

TO CAUSE PROBLEMS
WITH YOUR FATHER AND ME.

THIS PAINTING MEANS MORE TO ME
THAN ANYTHING.

$980,000.

WHAT DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DOING?

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE
ON THE SAME SIDE.

SO YOU ARE STILL ALIGNED
WITH HER?

I'M ON NOBODY'S SIDE
BUT MY OWN.

(Benedict) $1 MILLION,
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

(Chuck, Lily, and Ivy
arguing indistinctly)

$1.1 MILLION.

DO I HEAR 1.2?

GOING ONCE. GOING TWICE.

(bangs gavel)

SOLD FOR $1.1 MILLION

TO THE MAN IN FRONT.

CONGRATULATIONS.

(cheers and applause)

REVENGE IS SWEET,

ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU HAVE
A SUGAR MAMA.

(cell phone alert chimes)

UNFORTUNATELY,

NOT ALL FAMILIES APPRECIATE
JUST DESSERTS.

(Tara Simmons)
* SO MUCH BLAME

* WITH OUR HEART

I JUST WANTED TO
CONGRATULATE YOU AND APOLOGIZE.

I ADMIT THAT
I WAS OUT OF LINE

WITH SOME OF THE THINGS
THAT I SAID EARLIER.

AND YOU OBVIOUSLY
WANT SOMETHING NOW.

WELL, I KNOW HOW IMPORTANT
IT WAS FOR YOU TO PROVE

THAT YOU COULD
BEST ME PUBLICLY.

AND NOW THAT YOU'VE ACHIEVED
WHAT YOU WANTED,

I WOULD LOVE
TO BUY MY PAINTING BACK.

WELL, IF YOU WANTED IT SO MUCH,
WHY'D YOU PUT IT UP FOR AUCTION?

I HAD NO IDEA HOW MUCH IT MEANT
TO ME TILL IT WAS GONE.

AND LET'S FACE IT, RUFUS.

DO YOU REALLY WANT
THAT HANGING IN YOUR LOFT,

REMINDING YOU OF ME?

I DON'T.

WE'LL GIVE IT TO A MUSEUM--

ONE FAR AWAY FROM MANHATTAN

WHERE YOU WON'T EVEN
BE ABLE TO VISIT.

SURELY THERE'S A PRICE
THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR MIND.

NO.

YOU CAN'T BUY US OFF
THE WAY YOU DO EVERYONE ELSE.

WE DON'T WANT YOUR MONEY.

WHAT IS IT YOU WANT THEN?

TO MAKE YOU FEEL
THE WAY YOU'VE MADE US FEEL--

HUMILIATED AND POWERLESS

AND LIKE YOU'RE WORTH
NOTHING.

SO IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,

I'M GOING TO MAKE SURE
THEY'RE PACKING UP OUR PAINTING.

* NOW PLEASE BE GONE

* OH, OH, OH, OH

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

**

AND YOU REMAIN A KEPT MAN.

I NEVER THOUGHT
I WOULD SAY THIS, LIL,

BUT I THINK IVY'S RIGHT.

YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF.

**

MAYBE YOU SHOULD
TRY VANYA AGAIN.

IT'S BEEN, LIKE,
47 SECONDS SINCE I CALLED.

AND UNLIKE LAST TIME
WE WERE STUCK HERE,

I REMEMBERED
TO USE YOUR NAME.

OH, IF WE'RE RECREATING THAT,

YOU SHOULD PROBABLY TRY TO CRAWL
OUT OF THE CEILING ANY MOMENT.

(chuckles)

I ADMIT THAT WAS NOT
ONE OF MY BETTER IDEAS.

WHY--WHY WERE YOU SO MAD
ABOUT IT, THEN?

BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT YOU
TO GET HURT.

I'M SURE YOU WANT ME TO
HIT THE FLOOR RIGHT NOW.

THROW ME DOWN
THE ELEVATOR SHAFT.

(chuckles)

OR, HELL, YOU KNOW,
YOU COULD JUST

TRICK ME INTO
MAKING ANOTHER SEX TAPE.

IT'S THE PEOPLE YOU KNOW BEST
THAT YOU CAN HURT THE MOST.

I'M SORRY...

I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING
WHEN YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME.

IT--IT WAS EASIER TO FOCUS
ON MY ANGER AT BLAIR

THAN FACE THE POSSIBILITY
OF GETTING WHAT I ALWAYS WANTED

AND...

AND--AND LOSING IT AGAIN.

WHAT YOU ALWAYS WANTED?

YOU KNOW, I HAD...

A REALLY GREAT TIME
WITH YOU TODAY.

I HAD TO BELIEVE
THAT YOU WERE TERRIBLE

IN ORDER TO PROTECT MYSELF.

WELL, YOU KNOW, I COULD ACTUALLY
BE TERRIBLE IF YOU PREFER.

(chuckles) NO. NO, THANK YOU.
I'M GOOD.

I-I MUCH PREFER YOU THIS WAY.

YEAH, THE FEELING'S MUTUAL.

I WILL TRY VANYA AGAIN.

(elevator powers up)

WELL...

I GUESS THAT'S MY CUE.

OR YOU COULD COME UP

AND HAVE SOME
CHOCOLATE-COVERED STRAWBERRIES

BEFORE YOU FACE
THE PAPARAZZI.

YEAH. THAT SOUNDS NICE.

(pushes button)

(elevator whirring)

(siren wailing in distance)

(sighs)

IF YOU'VE COME FOR A FOLLOW-UP
INTERVIEW, I HAVE NO COMMENT.

ACTUALLY, I CAME TO SAY THANKS
FOR THE EXCLUSIVE...

AND MAYBE TO GLOAT A LITTLE.

HOW DID YOU KNOW
WHERE TO FIND ME?

THE MET STEPS?

WHERE ELSE WOULD YOU GO
TO MAKE YOURSELF FEEL BETTER?

MY MOTHER ALWAYS SAID
YOU'D PEAKED IN HIGH SCHOOL.

YOU MEAN WHEN NO ONE ELSE SPOKE
TO YOU BESIDES YOUR MOTHER?

YOU CAN MAKE FUN
OF HOW UNPOPULAR I USED TO BE,

BUT THE PERSON NO ONE CARES
ABOUT ANYMORE IS YOU.

THEN WHY ARE YOU STILL SITTING
BELOW ME ON THE STEPS?

HABIT. LIKE A HEADBAND.

JUST A REMNANT FROM WHEN
YOU WERE A TASTEMAKER.

AND ALL EVERY GIRL AT CONSTANCE
WANTED WAS TO BE JUST LIKE ME.

LUCKY FOR ALL OF US,
LIKE THE ECO-CLOTHING TREND,

THOSE DAYS ARE GONE.

YOU OBVIOUSLY DON'T SHOP
IN BROOKLYN.

BUT THANK YOU, NELLY.

YOUR MISINFORMATION
HAS BEEN INVALUABLE.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
YOU WON'T LOOK GOOD IN HEMP.

BUT YOU WILL,
WHILE YOU EAT CROW.

I JUST HOPE
IT'S NOT TOO LATE.

THANK YOU SO MUCH

FOR LETTING US USE YOUR PAINTING
IN THE AUCTION.

UM, TODD DiCIURCIO,

THIS IS CHUCK BASS.

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL PAINTING.
EXCUSE US.

GREAT WORK TONIGHT.

NO THANKS TO YOU.

I THOUGHT WE WERE ON
THE SAME TEAM.

WE ARE, WHICH IS WHY YOU SHOULD
SELL ME THAT PAINTING.

LILY ALREADY TRIED THAT.

I HOPE YOU TURNED HER DOWN.

THAT PIECE IS
A CRITICAL COMPONENT

OF MY CAMPAIGN AGAINST BART.

AS YOU KNOW, IF I TOPPLE HIM,
LILY WON'T BE FAR BEHIND.

WHAT'S A QUEEN
WITHOUT HER KING?

I'LL SELL YOU
THE PAINTING...

FOR DOUBLE WHAT I PAID.

THAT'S A PRICE
I'M WILLING TO PAY.

(chuckles) ALL RIGHT,
I'LL HAVE IT DELIVERED.

PLEASURE DOING BUSINESS
WITH YOU.

SPOTTED--IVY MOONLIGHTING
AS A GALLERINA.

BETTER HOPE THIS MASTERPIECE
ISN'T A FORGERY.

IS IT WEIRD TO SAY I'M--
I'M GLAD WE GOT IN THAT FIGHT?

NO, NO. NO, NOT AT ALL.
I AM, TOO.

THAT STORAGE UNIT I KEPT
PACKED FULL OF OLD RESENTMENTS

WAS GETTING PRETTY FULL.

(laughs)

YOU KNOW, I-I FEEL LIKE I DID

WHEN I FIRST CAME BACK TO
THE CITY FROM BOARDING SCHOOL,

WHEN ALL I WANTED
WAS A FRESH START.

WELL, YOU HAVE ONE NOW,
AT LEAST WITH ME.

(chuckles)

(Lemonade's "Vivid" playing)

I, UH, SHOULD PROBABLY TAKE OFF.
IT'S GETTING PRETTY LATE.

OH, DID YOU EVER FIND
A PLACE?

TECHNICALLY, NO. BUT, I MEAN,
I GOT THAT CHECK NOW, SO...

MM.

I CAN AFFORD A HOTEL ROOM.
I DON'T WANT TO IMPOSE TOO MUCH.

NO, YOU'RE--
YOU'RE NOT IMPOSING AT ALL.

ARE YOU SURE?
I MEAN, JUST THIS MORNING,

YOU WERE SAYING YOU THOUGHT
IT MIGHT RUIN OUR FRIENDSHIP.

WELL, I THINK IF WE COULD GET
THROUGH THE LAST FIVE YEARS,

THEN WE COULD GET THROUGH
A FEW MORE NIGHTS. (chuckles)

SO... Y-YOU CAN STAY.

OR YOU DON'T HAVE TO.

YOU CAN GO, TOO.

OR YOU CAN STAY.
WHATEVER YOU WANT.

* ALL OF MY LOVE

THAT'S WHAT I WANT.

* ALL OF MY LIFE

(slurps)

(footsteps approach)

I MADE A MISTAKE.

MANY. WHO HASN'T?

YOU'LL HAVE TO BE
MORE SPECIFIC, DEAR.

WHEN I QUIT EARLIER.

I THOUGHT THAT I WAS
USING MY DARK SIDE

TO HIDE THE FACT
THAT I HAVE NO TALENT.

I WASN'T THE ONE WHO SAID
YOU DIDN'T HAVE TALENT, BLAIR.

NO, BUT YOU TOLD ME
TO SQUASH MY DARK SIDE,

WHICH IS MY TALENT.
IT'S MY INSPIRATION.

YOU CAN'T BLACKMAIL YOUR WAY
THROUGH BUSINESS.

WELL, I AGREE, BUT...

I'M NOT TALKING
ABOUT MY MANAGEMENT STYLE,

WHICH I ADMIT NEEDS HELP TO STAY
ON THE STRAIGHT AND NARROW.

I'M TALKING ABOUT MY DESIGNS.

OH,
WHERE IS THIS COMING FROM?

HIGH SCHOOL.

MY GRACE KELLY
DID HAVE TALENT.

SHE GOT ME STRAIGHT A's
AND THE PERFECT BOYFRIEND.

BUT IT WAS MY GRACE JONES

THAT HAD EVERYONE WANTING
TO DRESS LIKE ME,

NOT BECAUSE THEY ADMIRED
MY HARD WORK

BUT BECAUSE THEY WERE
FASCINATED BY MY FEROCITY.

YOU DID INSTILL FEAR
IN THE HEARTS OF MANY.

I NEED TO STOP TRYING
TO BE YOU AND USE MY POWER

TO FORM THE FASHIONISTAS
OF THE FUTURE...

WITH A LINE
FOR HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS,

INSPIRED BY
MY CONSTANCE UNIFORM.

I'M NOT SURE PEOPLE
WANT TO WEAR UNIFORMS

IF THEY'RE NOT IN SCHOOL.

THESE WON'T BE THE UNIFORMS
THEY HAVE TO WEAR.

THEY'LL BE THE UNIFORMS
THEY BEG TO WEAR--

ONES THEY SEE
ON THE GIRLS THEY WANT TO BE.

THEY OWN THIS TOWN.

UNIFORMS?

WELL, THEY DO REPRESENT
POWER AND AUTHORITY

AND INSTILL
A SENSE OF BELONGING.

AND THE GIRLS I DRESS
WON'T FOLLOW TRENDS.

THEY WILL SET THEM,

JUST LIKE I DID.

YOU ALWAYS WERE
VERY INFLUENTIAL.

PLEASE.

GIVE ME ONE MORE CHANCE
TO PROVE IT.

(clink)

(men speak indistinctly)

SO WHAT DO YOU EXPECT
TO FIND?

THE FINANCIAL RECORDS
OF BART'S OIL DEAL.

WHICH, WHEN I FINALLY
HAND OVER TO THE FBI,

WILL ENSURE HE SPENDS
THE REST OF HIS DAYS

PLAYING PINOCHLE
WITH BERNIE MADOFF.

THANK YOU.

WELL, I GUESS IT'S NOT TIME

TO BREAK OUT THE HANDCUFFS
JUST YET.

WHERE THE HELL
IS THAT ENVELOPE?

MAYBE "TRAFFIC" MEANT
SOMETHING ELSE

OR WE GOT
THE WRONG PAINTING.

NO. NO. LILY WAS TOO DETERMINED
TO GET THIS ONE.

AND THE PHILLIPS IN MY BEDROOM
HAS A BACKING ON IT.

THEN SOMEONE TOOK IT OFF.

THEN THEY'VE GOT
THE EVIDENCE!

(MNDR's "Stay" playing)

REMEMBER THAT SILVER BULLET
WE WERE LOOKING FOR?

I FOUND IT.

(chuckles)

YOU KNOW, I REALLY THINK
IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO COME BACK.

THE SOONER, THE BETTER.

I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH LONGER
I CAN KEEP DOING THIS.

(door opens)

(whispers) I GOTTA GO.

(beep)

ONE PEPPERONI PIZZA,
EXTRA CHEESE TO GO

WITH A BOTTLE
OF DOM PERIGNON--

AN UNEXPECTED
YET BRILLIANT COMBINATION,

JUST LIKE US.

THE BEATLES SANG,

"LIVING IS EASY
WITH EYES CLOSED."

BART, I AM SO SORRY.
I HAD NO IDEA

THAT'S WHERE YOU HID THE RECORDS
OF YOUR OIL DEALS.

BUT EVEN WITH OUR EYES OPEN,

WE ALL STILL HAVE BLIND SPOTS.

* BLOOD IS ON MY HANDS

* ON MY HANDS

* OH, STAY

* WISH I COULD STAY IN LOVE
WITH YOU *

**

* RIGHT HERE
WHEN WE COULD SAY SOMETHING *

* STAY

OR MAYBE WE'RE JUST LOOKING
IN THE WRONG PLACE.

SO THIS WILL BE AIMED
AT THE 12-TO-25 SET.

MARC JACOBS HAS "MARC BY"...

MM-HMM.

AND WALDORF DESIGNS
WILL HAVE "B."

OH, I JUST LOVE THAT.

YEAH!

BUT WHEN WE FINALLY DO
SEE THE LIGHT,

IT'S STRAWBERRY FIELDS
FOREVER.

* STAY

* WISH I COULD STAY IN LOVE
WITH YOU *

**

WAIT A SECOND.

ARE YOU SURE?

* WISH I COULD STAY IN LOVE

X.O.X.O., GOSSIP GIRL.

* WELL, RIGHT NOW
WE CAN STAY FROZEN *