All language subtitles for Gossip.Girl.S06E02.WEBRip.x264-ION10

GOSSIP GIRL HERE--
YOUR ONE AND ONLY SOURCE

INTO THE SCANDALOUS LIVES
OF MANHATTAN'S ELITE.

I NEED YOUR PASSION
FOR SOCIAL UPHEAVAL

TO HELP ME WRITE THE BOOK
ABOUT THE UPPER EAST SIDE.

DON'T JUST STAND THERE.
START TYPING.

REAL NAMES THIS TIME. NO HOLDING
BACK. EVERYONE GETS EXPOSED.

I HAVE DECIDED TO RETIRE.

THAT'S WHY I WANT YOU
TO TAKE OVER MY COMPANY.

I DIDN'T REALIZE
HOW MUCH I MISSED IT,

BUT NOW THAT I'M BACK
AND I'M WITH YOU,

NEW YORK HAS NEVER SEEMED
MORE PERFECT.

I THINK IT'S REALLY BRAVE,

YOU DECIDING TO RUN
"THE SPECTATOR" ON YOUR OWN.

NO INVESTORS, NO PARTNERS.

WAIT. ARE YOU HERE
TO FREAK ME OUT

OR WRITE A PAPER
ON--ON MY PAPER?

YOU FATHER GAVE IT TO ME
TO KEEP QUIET.

FOR THAT AMOUNT OF MONEY, YOU
MUST KNOW A HELL OF A SECRET.

I SWEAR I DON'T KNOW
WHAT IT IS,

BUT I'M WILLING
TO STICK AROUND TO FIND OUT.

SORRY FOR DROPPING IN
AFTER HOURS,

BUT I WAS WALKING BY, AND I SAW
THAT YOUR OFFICE LIGHT WAS ON.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE
A DRINK WITH ME?

AND WHO AM I?

THAT'S A SECRET
I'LL NEVER TELL.

YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME.

X.O.X.O., GOSSIP GIRL.

-- Captions by VITA --

(Gossip Girl) UP AND AT 'EM,
UPPER EAST SIDERS.

(cell phone ringing)

IT'S IMPORTANT
TO START YOUR DAY RIGHT.

(Ladyhawke) * I'M ON A HIGH

* AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHY

* I'M GONNA SHIN MYSELF
BEFORE... *

SEEMS LIKE
YOU WERE ALREADY UP.

YEAH.

THANKS TO YOU,
I'VE BEEN UP ALL WEEK.

(chuckles)

* YOU'D BETTER SEAL IT TIGHT
BEFORE THE MEMORIES GO BAD *

(alarm beeping)

**

(mutters) FIVE MORE MINUTES.

MM. WE MIGHT NEED
A LITTLE LONGER.

**

* I SAW YOU DANCING

THERE'S NOTHING WORSE

THAN WAKING UP
ON THE WRONG SIDE OF THE BED...

* LIKE ME

* FOR A GIRL LIKE ME

I THOUGHT WE AGREED YOU'D
STOP WATCHING ME SLEEP.

I LIED. I'M LETTING YOU
STAY HERE FOR FREE.

THERE HAS TO BE
SOMETHING IN IT FOR ME.

* I, I, I, I-I-I-I-I

EXCEPT MAYBE WAKING UP ALONE.

* YOU'LL NEVER KNOW WHY

DOROTA!

* BETWEEN THE DEVIL

WHY DID YOU LET ME SLEEP?!

IT'S "W.W.D." DAY!

WE HAVE TO TAKE
THE FASHION WORLD BY STORM.

FIRST, IT'S BREAKFAST,

THEN SHOWER,

THEN TO THE ATELIER.

I CAN HARDLY WAIT
TO SEE WHAT TODAY BRINGS.

(cell phone rings)

(beeps)

(typing)

I'M BOOKED ON THE 7:00 FLIGHT
TO DUBAI.

PLEASE,
JUST A LITTLE MORE TIME.

WE'VE SPENT ALL WEEK
POURING OVER THE NOTES

OF EVERY MEETING
I INTERPRETED FOR BART.

THERE'S NOTHING, CHUCK.

LOOK, I KNOW THE REASON
MY FATHER FAKED HIS DEATH

HAS SOMETHING TO DO
WITH THIS HOTEL DEAL.

IT HAS TO BE HERE.

WE LOOKED. IT'S NOT.

THEN WHY WOULD HE LIE
ABOUT BEING IN DUBAI?

WHY WOULD ALL THE NEGOTIATIONS
HAPPEN COMPLETELY OFF THE BOOKS?

WHY WOULD HE PAY YOU
$10 MILLION

NOT TO ASK
ANY OF THESE QUESTIONS?

IF HE'S HIDING SOMETHING,
I DON'T KNOW WHAT.

I'M SORRY. I NEED TO GET HOME
TO MY FIANCÉ.

THERE'S NOTHING MORE
I CAN DO.

YOU COULD COME TO BRUNCH.

WITH BART?
THAT SOUNDS DANGEROUS.

YOU WON'T HAVE TO SAY A WORD.

JUST SMILE WHILE I DROP A FEW
NAMES TO SEE HOW HE REACTS.

THEN YOU CAN
TAKE YOUR MONEY AND GO.

YOU KNOW, I WAS A VERY PUNCTUAL
PERSON BEFORE I MET YOU.

WELL, ANY WAY I CAN CONVINCE YOU
TO BE FASHIONABLY LATE

TO MY GALA TONIGHT?

I KNOW YOU HAVE THE CROWDRISE
EVENT, BUT MAYBE AFTER?

NAH, I'D LOVE TO, BUT THIS
THING'S BEEN BOOKED FOR MONTHS,

AND WHO KNOWS HOW LONG
IT'LL GO?

I DON'T WANT TO SAY "MAYBE"
AND THEN DISAPPOINT YOU.

HOW COULD YOU DISAPPOINT ME
WHEN YOU DID SO MUCH WORK

TO GET ME ON THE BOARD
IN THE FIRST PLACE?

I KNOW WHAT A BIG DEAL
THE CENTRAL PARK CONSERVANCY IS.

WHEN MY MOM WAS FINALLY ASKED
TO HOST,

SHE MADE IT SEEM LIKE

IT WAS MORE IMPORTANT
THAN BEING THE MAYOR.

WELL, NOW THAT YOU'RE HOSTING,
IT DEFINITELY IS.

(chuckles)

TONIGHT MARKS THE START
OF A WHOLE NEW ERA.

SERENA TAKES MANHATTAN.

OHH. AN ADULT MANHATTAN.

I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER
TO LEAVE MY OLD LIFE BEHIND.

WELL, JUST DON'T LEAVE ME,
EVEN IF I CAN'T MAKE IT TONIGHT.

MMM.

THE RENOVATION IS COMPLETE.

FABRIC IS
ALL FROM SWATCHES YOU CHOOSE.

YOUR MOTHER'S VINTAGE DESIGNS
ON DISPLAY.

AND THIS AREA CAN BE SHOWROOM
OR WAITING ROOM,

PARTIES OR MEETINGS.

FORM FOLLOWS FUNCTION.

AND IN HERE...

MISS BLAIR'S PRIVATE OFFICE.

(doors thud)

(gasps)

THIS... IS... DIVINE.

THIS IS...

SO ME.

OH!

THIS "WOMEN'S WEAR DAILY"
ARTICLE COULD MAKE OR BREAK ME

AS THE NEW HEAD OF WALDORF.

AND THE ATELIER IS
THE PERFECT BACKDROP.

ALL THESE YEARS
OF FOLDING MY SWEATERS

AND FLUFFING MY PILLOWS
HAS REALLY PAID OFF.

YOU'VE DEVELOPED TASTE!

YES. (chuckles)

OH. MISS BLAIR'S
NEW SAMPLES LOOKS LOVELY.

AND I GLAD OFFICE IS
UP TO SNUFF.

BUT I-I WORRY
IF "W.W.D." WILL ASK,

"WHERE ARE THE DESIGNERS,
SEAMSTRESSES, AND MODELS?"

IT IS UNFORTUNATE THAT
MY MOTHER'S PARIS TEAM

DECLINED TO FOLLOW ME BACK
TO NEW YORK, BUT...

NOT TO WORRY.

WHILE YOU WERE
PAINT AND PAPERING,

I CAME UP WITH A PLAN.

HELLO, LADIES!

GET READY TO ASSUME YOUR ROLES.

GO GET DRESSED FOR SUCCESS.

YOUR SOFA MIGHT BE CHIC,

BUT MY NECK IS NOT HAPPY
WITH THIS KINK.

WOULD YOU PREFER THE KINK

OF WATCHING YOUR FATHER DO IT
WITH FAKE CHARLIE AGAIN?

NO, I DID NOT WATCH. I GOT
THE HELL OUT BEFORE THEY SAW ME.

THE IMAGE IS STILL BURNT
RIGHT HERE.

TO THINK THAT I USED TO
CONSIDER BROOKLYN

A MORAL HIGH GROUND.

NOW THAT MY FATHER'S
FALLEN OFF HIS PEDESTAL,

I'M FREE OF SUCH DELUSIONS.

YOUR LOSS OF FAITH IN HUMANITY
TURNS ME ON,

AS DOES THE FACT
THAT YOUR BOOK WAS REJECTED

BY SIMON & SHUSTER AND YOU WERE
DROPPED BY YOUR AGENT.

I STILL DON'T GET
WHY THEY DIDN'T WANT IT.

THEY SENT ME TO ITALY TO WRITE
"INSIDE PART TWO,"

AND THIS TIME I DELIVERED
A REAL STORY WITH REAL NAMES.

RAW, HARD FACTS.

PLEASE SAY "RAW" AND "HARD"
AGAIN.

WHO CARES ABOUT ALESSANDRA
AND THE ENTIRE LIT SET?

THEY'RE JUST BOOK NERDS.

REVENGE IS A DISH
BEST SERVED SERIALIZED,

ONE DELICIOUS CHAPTER
AT A TIME.

ONCE WE FIND THE RIGHT MAGAZINE,
AND EVERYONE STARTS TALKING,

THEN THE BOOK OFFERS
WILL COME IN.

THEN THE MOVIE,
AND THEN THE BROADWAY MUSICAL.

CHECK YOUR CALENDAR. WE HAVE
MEETINGS ALL AFTERNOON.

YEAH, WELL,
I GOT AN ERRAND TO RUN.

I'LL SEE YA AT "VANITY FAIR."

CAN'T WAIT TO START
BURNING BRIDGES TOGETHER.

WELL, THANK YOU FOR ACCEPTING

OUR INVITATION FOR BRUNCH,
CHARLES.

YOU KNOW
HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO ME

THAT WE MAKE AN EFFORT
AS A FAMILY.

OF COURSE. AND I DO WANT
YOU BOTH TO GET TO KNOW AMIRA.

DID I MENTION SHE SPEAKS
SEVEN LANGUAGES, INCLUDING BODY?

NUMEROUS TIMES.
MICRO-EXPRESSIONS, VOCAL SHIFTS.

WE GET IT.
SHE'S "THE MENTALIST."

(chuckles)

EAT A CREPE.

SO HOW DID YOU TWO GET TOGETHER?

IT'S A TALE AS OLD AS TIME.

BOY MEETS GIRL,

GIRL FALLS FOR BOY AND SHARES
HER DEEPEST AND DARKEST SECRETS.

(chuckles)
CHUCK EXAGGERATES.

UM, WE BOTH FOUND OURSELVES
ADMIRING THE FISHTANK

AT OSSIANO.

A CLASSIC MEET-CUTE
AND QUITE ORDINARY, I'M AFRAID.

AMIRA WAS ATTENDING A BUSINESS
DINNER WITH KHALID AL-SALEH.

YOU MUST KNOW HIM, FATHER.

HE'S BIG
IN MIDDLE EAST REAL ESTATE.

HE'S DEVELOPED A FEW HOTELS.

DOESN'T RING A BELL.

REALLY? BECAUSE AMIRA SAYS
HE KNEW YOU.

I DOUBT VERY MUCH THAT AMIRA
DISCUSSES HER WORK WITH YOU.

SHE SEEMS LIKE
AN INTELLIGENT WOMAN

WHO UNDERSTANDS
THAT HER LIVELIHOOD,

IF NOT HER LIFE ITSELF,
DEPENDS ON HER DISCRETION.

IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME, I SHOULD
CONFIRM MY FLIGHT FOR TONIGHT.

YOU CERTAINLY SCARED HER OFF.

YEAH, I THINK I'M DONE ALSO.

I HAVE A MEETING
WITH BRUCE KAPLAN

TO FIND OUT IF BASS INDUSTRIES

IS FINALLY BOUNCING BACK
AFTER YOUR REIGN.

CHARLES, I KNOW YOU'RE UPSET

THAT YOUR FATHER TOOK
HIS COMPANY BACK,

BUT GIVE HIM A CHANCE.

HE DID RISK HIS LIFE
TO SAVE YOURS.

AND HE'S NOT THE MAN
HE USED TO BE.

YES, 7:00.

THAT'S RIGHT. PERFECT.

THANK YOU.

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK
YOU'RE DOING?

I PAID YOU A LOT OF MONEY
TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY.

I'M SORRY. CHUCK INSISTED
THAT I COME HERE TODAY.

WELL, I INSIST YOU GO.

OUR WEEKEND TOGETHER
HAS COST ME ENOUGH.

DON'T MAKE ME WARN YOU AGAIN.

CHUCK,
I THINK IT'S TIME TO GO.

WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO BE?

I'M TORN BETWEEN NURSE
AND CAFETERIA WORKER.

YOU ARE A SEAMSTRESS,

WHOM I WILL PUBLICLY SHAME
WITH MY ARTISTIC TEMPERAMENT.

AND, KATI, YOU ARE
A CRAZED FAN,

BEGGING TO BORROW
A LIMITED EDITION.

DOROTA!

WHEN THE REPORTER ARRIVES,

YOU WILL WHEEL OUT THE DRESSES
WITH A GRAND FLOURISH.

REACTION TO CLOTHES
IS WHAT REALLY COUNTS.

IF ARTICLE IS NEGATIVE,

COULD POISON PERCEPTION
OF WHOLE LINE

AND JEOPARDIZE FUTURE
OF WALDORF DESIGNS.

(scoffs)

(sighs) KATI, START
YOUR ADULATION RIGHT NOW.

O.M.G. NELLY YUKI.

(Jessica) GREAT! (chuckles)
MAYBE SHE KNOWS HOW TO SEW.

SHE LOST HER STATUS AS A MINION
WHEN SHE STOLE MY SPOT AT YALE.

SHE KNOWS BETTER THAN TO BEG
FOR REINSTATEMENT.

HI, BLAIR.

"HI"?

NO "HI." GO!

BEFORE THE "WOMEN'S WEAR DAILY"
REPORTER SHOWS UP

AND THINKS THAT I CONSORT WITH
FAKE DIOR-CARRYING WANNABES.

ACTUALLY, THIS BAG WAS
A PERSONAL GIFT FROM RAF

AFTER I WROTE AN ARTICLE
ON HIM.

AFTER YOU...

UH-HUH. THAT'S RIGHT, BLAIR.

I'M THE "WOMEN'S WEAR DAILY"
REPORTER.

(chuckles)

THANKS FOR PICKING UP
MY CHECK IN PERSON.

IT MEANS A LOT FOR
"THE SPECTATOR" TO SPONSOR

THE SAME EVENT
AS "THE TIMES."

WELL, I'M GLAD YOU WANNA
BE INVOLVED.

JUST DO ME A FAVOR
AND PLEASE DON'T INVITE BLAIR.

HAVE YOU EVEN TOLD HER
THAT YOU'RE BACK YET?

THIS IS A LONG TIME
FOR YOU TO BE MAD AT BLAIR

JUST FOR BEING BLAIR.

I'M NOT MAD. I'M MATURING.

WE'RE JUST NATURALLY
GROWING APART.

YOU KNOW,
BEING WITH STEVEN

HAS REALLY HELPED ME
TO UNDERSTAND WHO I WANNA BE.

I HOPE YOU FIND
SOMEONE LIKE THAT, TOO.

YOU NEVER KNOW.
I MIGHT HAVE.

WHAT?! WAIT. WHO?!

I MET A GIRL.
HER NAME'S SAGE.

SHE'S
A COLUMBIA JOURNALISM STUDENT.

SHE'S FUNNY. SHE'S SMART.
I JUST...

BUT IT'S ALL VERY NEW,
SO I-I CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT.

WHOA! SHY SMILE,
RELUCTANT EYE CONTACT?

I THINK I'VE SEEN ENOUGH.
YOU REALLY LIKE HER.

KEEP THE CHANGE.
YOU'RE GONNA LOVE THIS PLACE.

WHAT, YOU CAN'T EVEN
LOOK AT ME?

NO, NO, NO.
I'M NOT NOT LOOKING AT YOU.

I'M LOOKING AT HER...
WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND.

(speaks inaudibly)

IT REALLY IS
SO GOOD TO SEE YOU.

YOU SAID THAT ALREADY.

(whispers) TWICE.

(normal voice) BLAIR, PLEASE.

PLEASE LET ME WEAR
ONE OF YOUR EXCLUSIVE DESIGNS.

(Kati whispers) YOU'RE SUPPOSED
TO BE THE SEAMSTRESS.

(whispers) OH.

GO HELP DOROTA MAKE TEA,
BOTH OF YOU.

WELCOME BACK, NELLY!

I SEE NOTHING'S CHANGED
AROUND HERE SINCE HIGH SCHOOL.

EXCEPT YOU.

YOU LOOK SO PRESENTABLE.

YES.
ONCE I GOT INTO YALE,

I REALIZED I DIDN'T HAVE
TO DRESS LIKE YOU ANYMORE.

SO LET'S SEE YOUR LINE.

IT'S NOT HERE.

SHIPPING SNAFU
EN ROUTE FROM PARIS.

YOU'RE LYING.

IF I WERE, IT WOULD ONLY BE

TO PROTECT WALDORF DESIGNS
FROM YOUR BIASED OPINION OF ME,

WHICH IS BASED ON NOTHING
BUT GOOD, CLEAN HIGH SCHOOL FUN.

I STILL HAVE NIGHT TERRORS ABOUT
NAIRTINIS AND YOGURT BOMBS.

SOMETIMES I WAKE UP
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT

SHOUTING,
"TIGHTS ARE NOT PANTS!"

BUT I AM NOT BIASED.
I PLAY FAIR.

THAT'S WHY I GOT INTO YALE,
AND YOU DIDN'T.

OH. DID I MENTION
I GRADUATED EARLY?

SEND ANOTHER REPORTER.

IT'S MY STORY.
AND LOOK ON THE BRIGHT SIDE.

NO MATTER WHAT I WRITE,

READERS CAN SEE THE PICTURES
OF YOUR COLLECTION

NEXT TO POPPY LIFTON'S
AND DECIDE FOR THEMSELVES.

POPPY?
THAT PONZI-SCHEMING FAUXCIALITE?

THE ONLY DESIGNING SHE IS DOING
IS WITH POPSICLE STICKS

IN THE ARTS AND CRAFTS ROOM
OF A WOMEN'S PRISON.

SHE'S A THIEF.

BLAIR, THAT WAS
SO FOUR YEARS AGO.

MY ARTICLE IS CALLED
"SOCIETY GOES SARTORIAL,"

AND IT PROFILES TWO DESIGNERS,
YOU AND HER.

WE'RE NOT PHOTOGRAPHING ANYTHING
UNTIL TOMORROW,

SO YOU HAVE UNTIL THEN TO DECIDE
IF YOU WANNA BE INCLUDED.

STOP EAVESDROPPING
AND GET IN HERE!

I NEED RECON ON POPPY LIFTON'S
COLLECTION NOW.

(Sage) Hey, it's me.
Leave a message.

(beep)

HEY, SAGE, IT'S NATE.

LISTEN, I'VE HAD
A LOT OF FUN THIS WEEK.

BUY YOU KNOW WHAT? I'M DONE.
HAVE A NICE LIFE.

WHY DID YOU JUST DO THAT?

IT'S TOO CRAZY
OF A COINCIDENCE

THAT YOUR SAGE AND MY STEVEN
ARE SEEING EACH OTHER.

WELL, WE COULD HAVE
COMPLETELY THE WRONG IDEA.

I DOUBT IT.
I'VE HAD WAY TOO MANY GIRLS

TALK ME BACK INTO RELATIONSHIPS
I WANTED OUT OF.

JUST LIKE YOU RUN AWAY

FROM TOO MANY GUYS YOU DIDN'T
WANT TO CONFRONT WITH THE TRUTH.

I MEAN, MAYBE IT'S TIME

WE START DOING THINGS
A LITTLE BIT DIFFERENTLY.

YOU'RE RIGHT.

WE'VE JUST MADE TERRIBLE
RELATIONSHIP CHOICES.

OR AS PATTI STANGER WOULD SAY,
OUR PICKERS ARE BROKEN.

ARE YOU REALLY QUOTING
THE MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER?

AS IF YOU DON'T WATCH IT.

AH. IT'S TRUE.

IF I REALLY WANNA BE MATURE,

I SHOULD JUST CALMLY
ASK STEVEN TO EXPLAIN.

(speaks inaudibly)

ON THE PHONE.

GOOD LUCK WITH THAT.

ALL RIGHT, I'VE GOTTA
GET BACK TO THE OFFICE.

BUT, UH,
I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT.

(elevator bell dings)

(speaking indistinctly)

(elevator doors close)

SORRY. I'LL HAVE TO
CALL YOU BACK.

(beep)

DID YOU HAVE AN AFFAIR
WITH AMIRA?

I...

SPENT A WEEKEND WITH HER.

YEARS AGO,

AFTER I SUSPECTED
YOU HAD BEEN WITH RUFUS.

(sighs)

BUT I APOLOGIZE.
THAT'S NO EXCUSE.

NO. HOWEVER, IT EXPLAINS WHY
SHE'S EXTORTING MONEY FROM YOU.

YOU OVERHEARD US TALKING.

IT SEEMED A SMALL PRICE
TO ENSURE THAT MY OLD BEHAVIOR

DIDN'T GET IN THE WAY
OF OUR NEW RELATIONSHIP.

WELL, THANK YOU.
I APPRECIATE YOUR HONESTY.

UM, I CAN'T IMAGINE
HOW CHARLES WILL FEEL

WHEN HE FINDS OUT ABOUT
HIS GIRLFRIEND'S AGENDA.

I SUSPECT THAT'S WHY
HE'S BROUGHT HER HERE.

(cell phone rings)

ONE SECOND.

(clears throat)

(ring, beep)

SERENA. HI.

Hi.

I DIDN'T EXPECT
TO HEAR FROM YOU TODAY.

How is the party planning?

UH, GOOD, I THINK.
(chuckles)

Is everything okay?

UH, ARE YOU SEEING
SOMEONE ELSE?

Um, it's--it's okay
if you are,

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, WE NEVER
REALLY DEFINED THINGS

OVER THE SUMMER.

WELL, WE DIDN'T HAVE TO
DEFINE THINGS. (chuckles)

WE MOVED IN TOGETHER.

I KNOW, BUT, YOU KNOW,
THAT WAS IN THE COUNTRY.

AND, YOU KNOW, MAYBE YOU HAVE
SOMETHING GOING ON HERE

that's a little complicated.

I mean, I would understand
if you do,

BUT--BUT JUST PLEASE
TELL ME THE TRUTH.

I'M NOT SEEING ANYONE ELSE.

BUT I HAVE TO GET BACK TO MY
MEETING, SO I'LL CALL YOU LATER.

(beep)

NATE. THANKS FOR CALLING, MAN.

SERENA'S INTERVENTION
WASN'T EXACTLY CONDUCIVE

TO CATCHING UP.

TRUE, BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU WERE
UP TO THIS SUMMER.

WELL, ARE YOU REFERRING TO MY
ACQUIRED TASTE FOR A TUSCAN RED

OR--OR GEORGINA
CRACKING THE WHIP?

YOU DIDN'T REALLY LET HER,
DID YOU?

OH, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
IT WAS A FIGURE OF SPEECH.

NO, I MEANT SHE WAS BEING A
SLAVE DRIVER ABOUT MY NEW BOOK.

THAT'S ACTUALLY WHAT I WANNA
TALK TO YOU ABOUT.

I WANNA PUBLISH IT
IN "THE SPECTATOR."

YOU--DO YOU KNOW
WHAT IT'S ABOUT?

SERIALIZED CHARACTER STUDIES OF
PEOPLE ON THE UPPER EAST SIDE.

YEAH, USING REAL NAMES.

I GET IT, ALL RIGHT,
BUT I REALLY NEED IT

AFTER I GAVE UP
MY "WHO IS GOSSIP GIRL?" EXPOSÉ.

I DON'T KNOW.

MIXING BUSINESS AND FRIENDSHIP
DIDN'T WORK SO WELL

WITH THE FILM RIGHTS
TO "INSIDE."

ALL RIGHT, FIRST OF ALL,
THAT WAS SERENA. THIS IS ME.

SECOND, "THE SPECTATOR" HAS
AN ENTIRE PRINT ARM NOW.

I CAN PUBLISH IT
ON MULTIPLE PLATFORMS.

THIS COULD BE
A DEFINING MOMENT FOR US.

LOOK, NATE, I'M FLATTERED,

BUT I'M LETTING GEORGINA
HANDLE THE BUSINESS SIDE.

SO IF YOU--
IF YOU REALLY WANT IN,

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO
CALL HER.

(sighs) ALL RIGHT.

(cell phone rings)

(ring, beep)

WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE

THE "BEFORE" PICTURES
OF PEOPLE WHO NEED BOTOX?

YOU CAN'T BE WORRIED

THAT POPPY'S COLLECTION
IS BETTER THAN MINE.

ACTUALLY, IT'S PRETTY MUCH
THE SAME.

W-WHAT DO YOU MEAN
"THE SAME"?

LIKE, THE SAME... QUALITY?

THE SAME STYLE?

THE SAME, BLAIR.

(sighs)

SHE'S USING THAT EXACT...
(whispers) FABRIC.

NELLY! SHE SET ME UP!

UGH!

IF I'M IN HER ARTICLE,

SHE WILL WRITE THAT
I COPIED POPPY.

BUT THEN IF I'M NOT,

SHE WILL SHOWCASE
POPPY'S COLLECTION ALONE,

AND THEN EVERYONE WILL ASSUME
THAT I AM THE PLAGIARIST!

YOU'RE SCREWED!

SORRY.

NELLY GOT INTO YALE
BY PLAYING CLEAN,

BUT NO ONE DOES DIRTY
BETTER THAN BLAIR WALDORF.

THOSE DRESSES WILL NEVER
BE PHOTOGRAPHED.

(cell phone rings)

HELLO, LILY.

CHARLES, YOUR FATHER TOLD ME
WHAT YOU DID THIS MORNING,

AND I'M NOT PLEASED ABOUT IT.

ARE YOU REFERRING TO THE FACT
I DIDN'T FINISH MY EGGS

OR THAT I FORGOT TO SAY GOOD-BYE
WHEN I LEFT?

YOU BROUGHT AMIRA TO OUR HOME
TO EXTORT MONEY FROM BART

AND TO WREAK HAVOC
ON OUR RELATIONSHIP.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT MY FATHER'S
TOLD YOU, BUT LET ME ASSURE YOU,

AMIRA'S PRESENCE
HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.

WELL,
SINCE THEY SLEPT TOGETHER,

it has everything to do
with me.

(footsteps approach)

I'M SORRY, LILY.
I HAD NO IDEA.

I HAVE TO GO.

Wait.

WHEN WERE YOU PLANNING
TO TELL ME

YOU HAD AN AFFAIR
WITH MY FATHER?

POOR CHUCK.

EVERYONE KNOWS THE FIRST PLACE
TO CHECK FOR SECRETS

IS UNDER THE BED.

OR IN IT.

(David Byrne and St. Vincent's
"Who" playing)

IT'S TERRIFIC, EXACTLY WHAT
"THE NATION" LIKES--

LITERATE
BUT A LITTLE LICENTIOUS.

IT WILL ROCK THE UPPER EAST SIDE

AND MAKE WAVES
WAY BEYOND NEW YORK.

GENIUS. IT'LL BE LIKE WHEN
PEOPLE FIRST READ DOMINICK.

I TOLD YOU.
HE'S THE SECOND COMING.

AND THIRD AND FOURTH
IF HE LETS YOU STAY THE NIGHT.

(chuckles)

OF COURSE, WE'LL HAVE TO
FACT-CHECK IT.

THAT COULD TAKE A WHILE.

BEN'S REALLY GOOD FRIENDS
WITH THE BASSES,

SO THERE WOULD
HAVE TO BE SOME CUTS,

AND I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT
THEIR TIME IN TENNIS CAMP.

BUT WE JUST CAN'T OPEN OURSELVES
TO A BIRO-SIZED LIBEL SUIT.

MAYBE LOSE THE LAST NAMES?

WHAT IS THE POINT
OF PUBLISHING AN EXPOSÉ

IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO EXPOSE
EVERYTHING?

WHO CARES?

THEY'RE WILLING TO PAY FOR
THE VERSION THAT WORKS FOR THEM.

IT'LL GET US BOTH
OUT OF BROOKLYN.

NO, BUT THEN I'M COMPROMISING
MY INTEGRITY AGAIN.

WHAT HAPPENED TO TELLING
THE TRUTH ABOUT THESE PEOPLE?

SAVE YOUR PASSION
FOR YOUR POETRY,

WHICH YOU CAN WRITE
AS MUCH AS YOU WANT

ONCE THIS MAKES YOU
RICH AND FAMOUS.

WELL, I-I DID THE SOFT PEDAL
WITH "INSIDE,"

AND MY LIFE STAYED
REMARKABLY THE SAME.

(cell phone rings)

WHY IS THE HANDSOME, VACANT ONE
CALLING ME?

IF YOU'RE REFERRING TO NATE,
HE HAS A SURPRISINGLY HIGH I.Q.

BUT HE--HE WANTS THE BOOK
FOR "THE SPECTATOR."

(scoffs) OKAY, NO.

WE'RE PLAYING WITH
THE BIG BOYS ON THIS ONE.

SO STOP MOPING
AND GO FIND YOURSELF A SUIT

YOU CAN WEAR
TO A BIDDING WAR.

YOU SNEAK UP
THE FIRE ESCAPE HERE

AND SMASH
POPPY'S SHOWROOM WINDOW.

WHY CAN'T KATI'S EX-BOYFRIEND
WHO SHOWED US POPPY'S SAMPLES

JUST LET US IN?

(scoffs) SO IT LOOKS LIKE
A RANDOM ROBBERY,

NOT A SOCIALITE STEALING
SAMPLES.

WEAR THOSE.

(cell phone alert chimes)

(Kati gasps)

THAT'S MY EX.
WE HAVE A PROBLEM.

HE TOLD YOU HE'S GAY, JUST LIKE
EVERYONE ELSE YOU SLEPT WITH.

DISCUSS IT
WITH YOUR THERAPIST.

NO, BLAIR.

HE SAYS POPPY HAS DECIDED

TO HAVE "W.W.D." PHOTOGRAPH
HER COLLECTION

AT THE CENTRAL PARK CONSERVANCY
GALA.

DAMN IT! THAT IS
THE PERFECT BACKDROP!

NOT TO MENTION, THE CLOTHES WILL
BE SEEN BY ALL THE RIGHT WOMEN.

WE NEED TO GET THERE FIRST
AND INTERCEPT.

THAT MIGHT BE HARDER
THAN YOU THINK.

WHY? I CAN GET AN INVITATION
TO ANYTHING.

SERENA'S THE HOSTESS.

SERENA'S BACK?

I DIDN'T... KNOW.

I MEAN... (scoffs)
OF COURSE I KNEW.

IT'S JUST, THE CENTRAL PARK
CONSERVANCY IS...

IT'S THE BIG LEAGUES, YEAH.

(singsongy) WELL,
SERENA'S NEW BOYFRIEND...

(normal voice)
GOT HER ON THE BOARD.

WELL...

GOOD FOR SERENA.

JUST SO HAPPENS THAT I KNOW
SOMEONE ELSE WHO CAN HELP US.

BART AND I WERE ONLY TOGETHER
FOR ONE WEEKEND.

I DIDN'T MENTION IT
BECAUSE YOU WERE INVESTIGATING

HIS BUSINESS,
NOT HIS PERSONAL LIFE.

I WAS LOOKING FOR HIS SECRETS.
YOU COUNT.

BUT THEN PERHAPS
HE SIMPLY PAID

TO HIDE OUR AFFAIR
FROM YOUR STEPMOTHER.

MY FATHER WOULD NEVER SPEND THAT
KIND OF MONEY ON A RELATIONSHIP.

THERE MUST BE SOMETHING ELSE
CONNECTED TO THAT WEEKEND.

I CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT,

AND I CAN'T RISK STAYING
TO FIND OUT.

THEN YOU LEAVE
WITHOUT YOUR MONEY.

CHUCK, DON'T DO THIS.

THAT MONEY BELONGS TO ME
AND MY FAMILY.

AND IT'S IN MY SAFE,
AND I WON'T OPEN IT

UNTIL YOU TELL ME EVERYTHING
THAT HAPPENED THAT WEEKEND.

IT'S NOTHING.

USE YOUR MEMORY.

USE YOUR E-MAILS.
USE YOUR CREDIT CARD BILLS.

I WANNA KNOW EVERY PERSON
YOU SAW, EVERY PLACE YOU WENT.

THE SOONER YOU WRITE IT ALL
DOWN, THE SOONER YOU CAN LEAVE.

(cell phone alert chimes)

NOW I HAVE TO GO
AND HELP A FRIEND,

BUT I WILL BE BACK.

(elevator bell dings,
doors open)

SERENA.

YOU MUST BE EXCITED
ABOUT YOUR BIG NIGHT.

WHERE'S STEVEN?
I'M DYING TO MEET HIM.

OH, WELL, HE'S NOT COMING,

WHICH IS GOOD, SINCE I JUST
FOUND OUT HE'S CHEATING ON ME.

OH, I'M SO SORRY, DARLING.

(cell phone alert chimes)

(sighs)

IT'S STEVEN.

HE JUST CANCELED HIS MEETING
SO THAT HE CAN COME TONIGHT.

HOW--HOW AM I SUPPOSED
TO FACE HIM?

WITH A SMILE.

TONIGHT IS YOUR ENTRÉE
INTO ADULT SOCIETY.

YOU CAN'T LET HIM
JEOPARDIZE THAT.

SO I'M JUST SUPPOSED TO
STAND THERE AND ACT LIKE

I DON'T KNOW HE WAS
WITH SOMEONE ELSE?

WELL, THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE

BETWEEN BEING A GROWNUP
AND IN HIGH SCHOOL.

NOW YOU'D BETTER
GO GET DRESSED.

IT'S BAD FORM FOR A HOSTESS
TO BE LATE TO HER OWN GALA.

(sighs) I JUST HOPE
THERE ARE NO MORE SURPRISES.

(cell phone rings)

(ring)

(sighs)

(ring, beep)

Hello.

FINALLY. I'VE BEEN TRYING YOU
ALL AFTERNOON.

I KNOW.

I DIDN'T ANSWER. I THOUGHT
THE MESSAGE WAS PRETTY CLEAR.

WOW,
I DIDN'T HAVE YOU FIGURED

FOR THE VOICE MAIL BREAKUP
DOUCHE.

WHAT CHANGED SINCE
I LEFT YOUR BED THIS MORNING?

UH, I FOUND OUT YOU LIED.

I DIDN'T LIE EXACTLY.

You know what? I'm coming over
right now to explain.

NO WAY. I'VE BEEN MANIPULATED
BY THAT SENTENCE BEFORE.

LISTEN, I'M BUSY
AT "THE SPECTATOR,"

AND I'M ALREADY LATE
FOR THE CONSERVANCY GALA.

(sighs)

FORGET THE JEANS.
I NEED A DRESS FOR TONIGHT.

LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S
GETTING DRESSED TO KILL--

OR AT LEAST
FOR A HELL OF A FIGHT.

(Crystal Fighters'
"Champion Sound" playing)

* REJOICE I COULD,
REJOICE I COULD *

* COULD TAKE A CHOICE,
THE CHOICE I TOOK *

* TO TAKE THE CHOICES
OUT OF YOUR HANDS *

* AND PUT 'EM IN MY HANDS

HI. GOOD TO SEE YOU.

* I GOT THE BAG, GOT THE BOOKS

HEY.

AH! OSKAR, HELLO!

HOW ARE YOU?

GOOD, THANKS. DO YOU WANT
TO TAKE A PICTURE?

SURE.

I LOVED YOUR PRODUCTION
OF "AS YOU LIKE IT."

WELL, THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

HOPE TO SEE YOU
DOWN AT THE PUBLIC SOON.

ME, TOO. (chuckles)
TAKE CARE.

YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL.

OH. YOU MADE IT.

I KNOW HOW MUCH
IT MEANT TO YOU.

YEAH. IT DID.

* IT'S NOT THAT FAR AWAY,
ANY DAY NOW *

* LET'S HOPE THAT SOMEDAY

GEORGINA, WHAT ARE WE DOING
HERE? WE WEREN'T EVEN INVITED.

DID NOT HAVING
A FORMAL INVITE

EVER STOP NORMAN MAILER
FROM SHOWING UP?

THE MOST POWERFUL PUBLISHERS
IN THE WORLD

ARE OPENING THEIR POCKETS
FOR PHILANTHROPY.

WE JUST
HAVE TO TAKE ADVANTAGE.

YEAH, EXCEPT THEY DON'T WANT
MY MATERIAL

UNLESS I CUT AND PASTE
AND MAKE EVERYONE LOOK PRETTY.

(sighs) ONCE I GET YOU
YOUR FIRST BIG DEAL,

THEN YOU CAN GO ALL
HUNTER S. THOMPSON ON ME.

STOP WHINING
AND START WORKING THE ROOM.

I HAVE TO GO FIND GRAYDON
AND TELL HIM HE HAS COMPETITION

FOR MY PROTÉGE'S EXPOSÉ.

YOU TWO ARE ADORABLE.

THE TISCHES
HAVE SOME NEW COMPETITION

FOR THE CUTEST
CHARITABLE COUPLE.

NAH, THIS ONE'S ALL SERENA.

WE'D LOVE YOU TO INTRODUCE HER
AS OUR NEWEST BOARD MEMBER.

THEN SERENA CAN PRESENT
THE CHECK TO THE PARK.

SOUNDS GREAT.

HEY, I WANTED TO ASK YOU,
ARE YOU STILL SEEING...

IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME...

SO "THE SPECTATOR" IS EXPLORING
ALL KINDS OF NEW DEMOGRAPHICS.

EXCUSE ME.
I'M SORRY TO INTERRUPT.

I NEED TO SPEAK WITH NATE.
THANKS.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

THAT WAS THE HEAD OF MEDIA
FOR JOHNSON & JOHNSON.

I THOUGHT YOU BROKE UP
WITH SAGE.

YEAH, I DID,

WHICH IS MORE THAN YOU CAN SAY
ABOUT STEVEN.

HOW CAN YOU MAKE OUT WITH A GUY
KNOWING HE CHEATED ON YOU?

OKAY. I LET HIM KISS ME
ON THE CHEEK,

BUT I'M NOT GONNA BREAK UP
WITH HIM OR CAUSE A SCENE

UNTIL AFTER
THIS PARTY'S OVER,

WHICH BECAME A LOT MORE
COMPLICATED WHEN SAGE ARRIVED.

**

(sighs) WHAT DON'T GIRLS
UNDERSTAND ABOUT

"IT WAS FUN. I'M DONE"?

PLEASE JUST GET RID OF HER.

* MY GIRL

* LOVE WILL BE AMAZING

* CHAMPION SOUND

* I WANNA FIND MY GIRL

* LOVE WILL BE AMAZING

* CHAMPION SOUND

PLEASE TELL ME
THERE'S A CARRIAGE SOMEWHERE

TROTTING AWAY
WITH POPPY'S POSSE.

THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY
TO THE DUCK POND

FOR THEIR PHOTO SHOOT.

EVEN THOUGH IT'S NOT REALLY
THERE. MODELS ARE SO DUMB.

YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN THEM
CROWDED IN THAT CARRIAGE

LIKE FOUR SCRAWNY SARDINES.

WHO NEEDS
SERENA VAN DER WOODSEN

WHEN YOU ARE FRIENDS WITH
ANDRE THE HANSOM THE CAB DRIVER?

WAIT. FOUR?

"WOMEN'S WEAR DAILY" NEEDED
TO PHOTOGRAPH SIX DRESSES.

THAT MEANS TWO
ARE STILL ON THE LOOSE.

OOPS.

IT ONLY TAKES ONE PHOTOGRAPH
TO ECLIPSE MY LINE FOREVER.

I WILL GO DISTRACT
NELLY YUKI.

YOU SEARCH AND DESTROY ANYONE
WITH A DANDELION MOTIF.

HURRY! SHOO!
BACK TO THE PARTY!

BLAIR, ARE YOU OKAY?

WELL, NOT YET. I STILL HAVE
TWO DRESSES I NEED TO ROUND UP.

I DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU WERE
COMING TO SERENA'S PARTY.

I WASN'T INTENDING TO,
BUT THEN I HEARD FROM YOU.

FROM ME?

WELL, YOU MUST'VE
TELEPATHICALLY SENSED

MY DISTRESS FOR MY DRESSES.

NO, THIS WAS A TEXT.

WAIT. IF YOU DIDN'T SEND IT,
I THINK I KNOW WHO DID.

I HAVE TO GO.

HURRY.

THE SOONER YOU GO,
THE SOONER YOU CAN COME BACK.

* I WANNA FIND MY GIRL

IN THE GRANDER SENSE.

* LOVE WILL BE AMAZING

* CHAMPION SOUND

**

YOU JUST GONNA IGNORE ME?

LOOK, I TOLD YOU I HAVE NOTHING
TO SAY TO YOU EXCEPT GOOD-BYE.

I SWEAR I DIDN'T LIE.
I JUST OMITTED CERTAIN DETAILS.

AND ONLY BECAUSE I LIKED YOU

AND I KNEW IT WOULDN'T CHANGE
ANYTHING BETWEEN US.

THEN I GUESS YOU'RE
MORE LIBERAL THAN I AM

BECAUSE IT DEFINITELY CHANGES
THINGS FOR ME.

BUT IT DOESN'T HAVE TO. YOU
COULD PRETEND YOU DON'T KNOW.

(scoffs) I DON'T THINK
I CAN DO THAT.

YOU COULD AT LEAST TRY.

I HAD HIGHER HOPES FOR YOU,
HUMPHREY.

SORRY. WHAT?

HOW CAN THE SMARTEST BOY
AT ST. JUDE'S

STILL WANT EVERYTHING
HE CAN'T HAVE?

NO, I-I DON'T WANT HER.
I WAS JUST, UH... (chuckles)

I WAS JUST OBSERVING.

YOU KNOW,
THAT'S WHAT WRITERS DO.

I DIDN'T MEAN BLAIR.

I MEAN IN.
YOUR WHOLE GATSBY-ISH OBSESSION.

FITZGERALD SEEMED TO MAKE
A GOOD CAREER OUT OF IT.

IF YOU WANNA DIE
A MISERABLE DRUNK

TRYING TO IMPRESS PEOPLE
WHO DON'T KNOW YOU EXIST.

THERE IS THAT FATAL FLAW.

(chuckles)

I GOT OVER MINE
WHEN I WENT TO YALE

AND MET A BUNCH
OF OTHER SMART LOSERS.

NELLY, YOU'RE NOT A LOSER.

YES, I AM, AND SO ARE YOU.

THEY'LL NEVER LET US IN.

THE SOONER YOU ACCEPT IT,

THE SOONER YOU CAN STOP TRYING
AND START COMPETING.

THAT'S KIND OF TOUGH WHEN
THEY ALREADY HAVE EVERYTHING.

WE HAVE THE TRUTH.

THAT'S HOW THE LOSERS WIN.

WE STOP PLAYING BY THEIR RULES
AND MAKE OUR OWN.

NELLY, DON'T YOU LOOK ETHEREAL

IN THIS GARDEN
OF EARTHLY DELIGHTS.

THAT'S MY CUE. IT WAS NICE
TALKING TO YOU, NELLY.

DAN, THERE YOU ARE. GRAYDON
WANTS TO MAKE US AN OFFER.

WE'RE GOING TO CIPRIANI'S
TO DISCUSS.

THIS BETTER BE GOOD.

I JUST WANT TO APOLOGIZE.

WE GOT OFF ON THE WRONG FOOT
THIS MORNING.

I WANNA HEAR EVERY DETAIL
OF YOUR LIFE SINCE CONSTANCE.

(elevator bell dings)

AMIRA?

I'M AFRAID YOU MISSED HER.

I'D SAY YOU COULD CALL,

BUT SHE'S PROBABLY ENJOYING
A FINE MERLOT

AT 30,000 FEET
ABOVE THE GROUND BY NOW.

NO. SHE WOULDN'T LEAVE
WITHOUT HER...

MONEY.

IT'S SWEET, REALLY,

THAT YOU ALSO USE YOUR MOTHER'S
BIRTHDAY AS YOUR COMBINATION.

YOU MAKE IT ALL SO EASY.

(thud)

DRINK?

**

BLAIR,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WELL, I WOULD'VE R.S.V.P.'d...

IF I GOT MY INVITATION.
(chuckles)

OR THE CALL TO TELL ME THAT
YOU'D RETURNED TO THE CITY.

KIND OF REMINDS ME
OF THE TIME

THAT YOU CAME BACK FROM
BOARDING SCHOOL WITHOUT A WORD.

I'M NOT TRYING TO HURT YOU.

I'M JUST TRYING TO MOVE ON,
AND SO SHOULD YOU.

WELL, AS THE HOSTESS
OF SUCH AN ELEGANT EVENT,

YOU WOULDN'T WANT
TO CAUSE A SCENE. WOULD YOU?

NOTHING IS
MORE PRESSING TO ME

THAN MAKING SURE
THIS EVENING GOES PERFECTLY,

WHICH I'M SURE YOU HAVE
SOME SORT OF SCHEME TO DESTROY.

SO PLEASE LEAVE BEFORE I HAVE
SECURITY ESCORT YOU OUT.

IF YOU WEREN'T INVITED,
BLAIR,

THEN WHY ARE YOU HERE?

(panting) BLAIR! BLAIR! OKAY!

I GOT THE LAST ONE,

AND I LEFT THE MODEL STANDING
IN NOTHING BUT HER LA PERLAS.

OR MAYBE THEY WERE KIKI.
I DON'T--I'M NOT SURE.

IS... THAT
ONE OF YOUR WALDORF DESIGNS?

NO, IT'S ONE OF MINE,

AND ALL THE MODELS WHO ARE
SUPPOSED TO BE WEARING THEM

ARE MISSING.

WHAT'S GOING ON, BLAIR?

SAGE? WHAT IS THIS?

WHY DO YOU CARE?
I DIDN'T COME HERE WITH YOU.

WELL, YOU'RE LEAVING WITH ME
NOW.

I DON'T THINK SO.

I DIDN'T ASK.

TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF HER.
SHE SAID "NO."

STAY OUT OF THIS.

NO, I WON'T. YOU'RE THE ONE

WHO'S SUPPOSED TO BE
IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH SERENA.

WAIT. THIS IS YOUR GIRLFRIEND?

WELL, THIS IS MY BOYFRIEND.

STEVEN,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT
TONIGHT IS TO ME,

AND NOW YOU'RE HUMILIATING ME
TO DEFEND THAT SLUT?

THAT "SLUT" HAPPENS TO BE
MY 17-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER.

SPOTTED--NATE ARCHIBALD
WITH A MINOR PROBLEM

THAT JUST BECAME
A MAJOR INCIDENT.

WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME
YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER?

OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE SHE'S
THE SAME AGE AS YOU ARE.

NOW SERENA IS AN ADULT,

AND SHE'S NOT MISSING HER CURFEW
AND SHE'S NOT IN HIGH SCHOOL.

YEAH, AND I'M NOT GONNA LET THIS
DRAG ME BACK INTO IT.

I HAVE A CHECK TO PRESENT.

SAY GOOD NIGHT. I'LL BE BACK
TO TAKE YOU HOME.

(scoffs)
YOU'RE IN HIGH SCHOOL?

ISN'T THAT WHY
YOU BROKE UP WITH ME?

I BROKE UP WITH YOU BECAUSE

I THOUGHT YOU WERE SLEEPING
WITH YOUR FATHER--

BEFORE I KNEW
HE WAS YOUR FATHER.

THAT'S DISGUSTING.

YEAH!

I'M NOT SLEEPING WITH ANYONE
BUT YOU.

AND IT'S LEGAL. I CHECKED.

SO CAN WE PLEASE JUST GO BACK
TO YOUR PLACE AND DO THAT?

NO! YOU'RE 17, AND I'M
PRETTY SURE YOU'RE GROUNDED.

I REALLY DID AUDIT
PROFESSOR PEISER'S CLASS

THIS SUMMER.

AND WE'RE CLOSER IN AGE
THAN MY DAD AND SERENA.

OR YOU AND DIANA PAYNE.

YEAH. I GOT AN "A" ON MY PAPER
ABOUT "THE SPECTATOR."

(chuckles)

(indistinct conversations)

SERENA, I KNOW YOU'RE UPSET.

WE SPENT MONTHS TOGETHER,

AND YOU NEVER MENTIONED
YOU HAD A CHILD,

NEVER MIND ONE WHO'S OLD ENOUGH
TO SHARE MY CLOTHES.

COME ON. IT TOOK YOU ALL SUMMER
TO TELL ME YOUR REAL NAME.

LOOK, WE BOTH NEEDED TIME

BEFORE WE WERE READY
TO SHARE EVERYTHING.

EVEN SHAKESPEARE SAID,
"WHAT'S IN A NAME?"

UNLIKE A DAUGHTER,
WHO'S A HUGE PIECE OF YOUR LIFE.

YEAH, AND WHEN WOMEN
FIND OUT ABOUT HER,

THEY EITHER BOLT
OR PRESSURE ME TO MEET HER.

AND HONESTLY, I...

I'VE NEVER BEEN READY
TO INTRODUCE HER TO ANYONE...

UNTIL YOU.

YOU KNOW, I ALWAYS IMAGINED
YOUR FIRST MEETING

AS MORE OF A BREAKFAST
OR COFFEE-TYPE THING.

REALLY? IT WASN'T PUNCHING OUT
HER BOYFRIEND?

(both laugh)

AND THE MORE SERIOUS WE GET,

THE MORE WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO
TRUST EACH OTHER.

DO YOU THINK YOU CAN DO THAT?

I REALLY WANNA TRY.

BUSINESS RECORDS, BLUEPRINTS.

YOU NEED TO STOP
THIS CHILDISH NONSENSE.

YOU'RE THE ONE WHO FAKED
A TEXT FROM BLAIR.

CLASSIC HIGH SCHOOL MOVE.

HOW ABOUT WE CALL A TRUCE?

IT WOULD MAKE LILY HAPPY.

SHE'S VERY UPSET THAT YOU'RE
TRYING TO DESTROY OUR MARRIAGE.

I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR
MARRIAGE, AND NEITHER DO YOU.

OF COURSE I DO.

WHY ELSE WOULD I HAVE PAID AMIRA
ALL THAT MONEY TO LEAVE TOWN?

TO PROTECT WHATEVER SECRET

REALLY FORCED YOU TO FAKE
YOUR DEATH,

SOMETHING THAT'S OBVIOUSLY
NOT IN THESE FILES.

I ALREADY TOLD YOU.

I DID IT TO KEEP
YOU AND LILY SAFE.

(whispers) AND I WANTED
TO BELIEVE IT.

I WANTED TO BELIEVE
YOU CARED ABOUT ME,

THAT I HAD FINALLY EARNED
MY FATHER'S LOVE.

THEN LET ME GIVE YOU
SOME BASS PROPERTIES,

AND WE'LL CALL OURSELVES
A FAMILY AGAIN.

(whispers) OH, NO, NO, NO.

(normal voice)
IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT.

(glass clatters)

YOU TOOK EVERYTHING FROM ME,

AGAIN AND AGAIN.

NOW I'M GOING TO FIND
YOUR SECRET

AND I'M GOING TO TAKE EVERYTHING
FROM YOU.

(laughs)

MAYBE IT'S NOT TOO LATE
TO FIND BLAIR

AND HELP HER
WITH THOSE ERRANDS.

(Poppy)
WHY ARE YOU TORTURING ME?

BLAIR KNEW YOUR DRESSES WOULD
LOOK BETTER THAN HERS IN PRINT.

NO. I KNEW THAT THE TWO OF YOU
WERE WORKING TOGETHER

TO DESTROY ME IN "W.W.D."

WE MET FOR THE FIRST TIME TODAY,
BLAIR, WHEN I INTERVIEWED HER.

I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.

AND YOU AND YOUR FAKE
AFRICAN SATELLITE-SELLING BRAIN

DID NOT FIND MY FABRIC
ON ITS OWN.

PLUS... I HAVE DONE TERRIBLE
THINGS TO THE TWO OF YOU

IN THE PAST,

SO YOU MUST'VE WANTED
REVENGE.

I DID, BUT I DIDN'T SCHEME
TO GET IT.

ALL I DID WAS
SET UP THE ARTICLE

AND LET YOU DO
WHAT YOU ALWAYS DO--IMPLODE.

ONE OF THE THINGS I LEARNED
AFTER BEING RUN OUT OF MANHATTAN

BY A GANG
OF OVERPRIVILEGED TEENAGERS

WAS TO JUST LET MY ANGER GO.

FASHION DESIGN IS
MY ART THERAPY.

SO...

WE REALLY JUST LIKED
THE SAME FABRIC?

I BETTER GO WRITE MY STORY.

I DON'T WANT TO FORGET
ANY DETAILS.

NO, NO, NO!
YOU CAN'T WRITE ABOUT THIS!

WAIT! MAYBE SHE'S RIGHT.
IF YOU WRITE THAT ARTICLE,

IT'LL BRING HER
SO MUCH MORE ATTENTION.

MAYBE YOU SHOULD JUST
WRITE IT ABOUT ME.

I COULD USE THE EXTRA SPACE

FOR MORE PICTURES
OF YOUR COLLECTION.

YES.

MM-HMM.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

I CAN'T START AGAIN
FROM NOTHING! NELLY!

YOU CAN BE MY HEAD MINION.

BLAIR WALDORF,

I'VE BEEN ASKED TO ESCORT YOU
FROM THE PARTY.

THINK FAST, B.

PENCIL SKIRTS OR PEPLUM?

THE ONLY LOOK YOU HAVE NOW
IS EGG ON YOUR FACE.

(sewing machines whirring)

(Dorota) LOOKS GOOD, NO?

SKILLED CRAFTSPEOPLE AT WORK.

I'VE NEVER SEEN
SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SIGHT.

WHERE DID THEY COME FROM?

UH, SOME FROM PARIS,
SOME FROM GARMENT DISTRICT,

A FEW "PROJECT RUNWAY"
REJECTS.

I KNOW HOW TO ENLIST EMPLOYEES.
I LEARNED FROM THE BEST.

HEY!

(whirring stops)

SHE'S CLAPPING FOR YOU!

THANK YOU, DOROTA.

NOW AS THE NEW HEAD
OF WALDORF DESIGNS,

I ONLY HAVE ONE CHANCE
TO MAKE MY DEBUT.

AT FASHION SHOW FOR BUYERS
NEXT WEEK.

AS MUCH AS I LOVE THE LINE
WE WERE DEVELOPING,

IT IS NO LONGER VIABLE.

(murmuring)

SO... WE SIMPLY
HAVE TO DO BETTER.

(murmuring continues)

(lowered voice) MISS BLAIR,

I KNOW I KNOW NOTHING
OF FASHION, BUT...

NO ONE CAN DO A WHOLE LINE
IN TEN DAYS.

I DO REALIZE THAT THIS IS
A LOT TO ASK, BUT...

WE HAVE NO CHOICE.

AS MY MOTHER'S FIRST FACIALIST
ELIZABETH ARDEN SAID,

"I ONLY WANT PEOPLE AROUND ME
WHO CAN DO THE IMPOSSIBLE."

SO...

WE HAVE NO TIME TO WASTE.

I WANT A PICTURE OF EVERY PIECE
MY MOTHER HAS EVER DESIGNED.

AND WE NEED
A NEW INSPIRATION FABRIC.

SO...

WHO WANTS TO COME WITH ME
TO MOOD?

GREAT!

LET'S GO THEN.

VITE. VITE.

HEY!

HEARD YOU GOT A GREAT OFFER
FROM "VANITY FAIR."

I DID.

(bag thuds)

I SAID NO.

DID GEORGINA KICK YOU OFF
HER COUCH OR WHAT?

NO, I LEFT ON MY OWN

AFTER WAKING UP WITH HER
STARING AT ME AGAIN.

PLEASE TELL ME THAT MEANS

YOU'RE GIVING YOUR SERIAL
TO "THE SPECTATOR."

I KNOW YOU NEED THIS
TO SUCCEED AS MUCH AS I DO,

BUT IT'S ONLY GONNA DO THAT
IF YOU PRINT IT WORD FOR WORD.

DONE.

YOU MIGHT WANNA CHECK IT OUT
BEFORE YOU DECIDE.

(clears throat)

WOW.

YOU, UH, SURE YOU WANNA
PUBLISH THIS?

I AM.
EVERY WORD OF IT IS TRUE.

BUT THERE ARE DETAILS IN HERE
THE WORLD DOESN'T NEED TO KNOW.

THESE ARE PEOPLE
YOU CARE ABOUT.

NOTHING GOOD CAME
FROM MY PROTECTING THEM.

ONCE I REALIZED

I LIVE IN A WORLD
WHERE CHUCK BASS GETS THE GIRL,

EVERYTHING SEEMED VERY CLEAR.

I'M NOT PLAYING
BY ANYONE ELSE'S RULES ANYMORE.

I'M MAKING MY OWN.

IF YOU DON'T WANT THIS,
I-I CAN SELF-PUBLISH IT.

NO, NO, NO, I WANT IT.
I'M JUST SAYING...

I'VE ONLY READ ONE PAGE,

AND I'M GUESSING YOU MIGHT LOSE
SOME FRIENDS AND FAMILY.

MY "FRIENDS" CHASED MY SISTER
OUT OF TOWN

AND CHOSE A GUY WHO TRADED HER
FOR A HOTEL OVER ME.

AND MY "FAMILY"...

YEAH, IS SLEEPING
WITH A CON ARTIST.

YOU KNOW, I'M--I'M NOT--
I'M NOT LOSING ANYTHING HERE.

I'M TAKING WHAT'S MINE.

(elevator bell dings,
doors open)

(elevator doors close)

SERENA'S GALA
FROM LAST NIGHT?

YES. IT LOOKS BEAUTIFUL
IN THE PAPER.

I HEARD THERE WAS AN UNFORTUNATE
INCIDENT WITH STEVEN,

BUT THE BOARD SAID THAT SERENA
COULD KEEP HER SEAT

BECAUSE SHE RAISED
A RECORD AMOUNT OF MONEY.

MM.

SORRY I HAD TO STEP OUT

AND DIDN'T GET HOME IN TIME
FOR US TO MAKE IT.

BART, IT'S LOVELY.

IT IS THE LEAST I CAN DO

TO MAKE UP FOR ALL
THE UNFORTUNATE DRAMA

WITH AMIRA AND CHARLES.

I KNOW HOW IMPORTANT
FAMILY IS TO YOU, LILY,

BUT I THINK YOU NEED TO ACCEPT

THAT MY SON MAY NO LONGER
WANT TO BE PART OF OURS.

WELL, I'M NOT READY
TO GIVE UP HOPE YET.

NO ONE SAID
BEING A PARENT WOULD BE EASY.

(Charli XCX's "Nuclear Seasons"
playing)

* WHEN YOU GO, PLEASE DON'T
LEAVE YOUR LOVE IN THE SUN *

* MY HEART WOULD MELT AWAY

* IN THE NIGHT
WITH YOUR TWISTED TONGUE *

* WHEN YOU DROP...

SOME CHILDREN WILL DO
EVERYTHING IN THEIR POWER

TO DESTROY YOU.

* 'CAUSE I

OTHERS WILL WILT
UNDER THE WEIGHT

OF YOUR CRUSHING EXPECTATIONS.

* IN THE PAGE OF THE STORY

* I

* COME OUT OF THE BOX

* I WON'T SAY I'M SORRY

* WE IN THE NUCLEAR SEASONS

* IN THE SHELTER

SHE KNOW YOU CAN DO THIS,
MISS BLAIR.

I HOPE SHE'S RIGHT.

MY ENTIRE FUTURE,
HERE AND WITH CHUCK,

DEPENDS ON IT.

**

YOU'RE UNCHARACTERISTICALLY
QUIET THIS MORNING, SAGE.

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY?

"THANK YOU FOR THE HUMILIATING
EXPERIENCE OF BEING

WALKED TO SCHOOL BY MY DAD
AND HIS TROPHY GIRLFRIEND?"

I MAY NOT BE AS HUMILIATING
AS YOU THINK.

I WENT TO CONSTANCE, TOO,
YOU KNOW.

JUST REMEMBER
YOUR END OF THE DEAL.

I GO TO SCHOOL,
AND YOU LET ME DATE NATE.

OH, YOU SHOULD THANK SERENA
FOR THAT.

SHE'S THE ONE THAT TOLD ME
HE'S A DECENT GUY.

YEAH, HE WAS GOING TO ST. JUDE'S
WHILE I WAS AT CONSTANCE,

BUT YOU PROBABLY ALREADY
KNOW THAT FROM "GOSSIP GIRL."

NO ONE IN HIGH SCHOOL READS
"GOSSIP GIRL" ANYMORE.

IT'S FOR OLD PEOPLE.
NOW CAN I GO,

OR DO YOU WANT TO HOLD MY HAND
ALL THE WAY TO HOMEROOM?

GO. I LOVE YOU.

AND SOME WILL BECOME PARENTS
THEMSELVES.

WHAT CAN I SAY EXCEPT, UH,
WELCOME TO ADULTHOOD?

YOU KNOW I DISAPPROVE
OF TEENAGE PREGNANCY.

"GOSSIP GIRL" SAYS YOUR DAD IS
DATING SERENA VAN DER WOODSEN.

IS IT TRUE?

NOT FOR LONG.

BUT A TEENAGE STEPDAUGHTER?

THAT'S MY KIND OF FUN.

X.O.X.O., GOSSIP GIRL.