All language subtitles for Gossip.Girl.S06E01.WEBRip.x264-ION10

GOSSIP GIRL HERE--
YOUR ONE AND ONLY SOURCE

INTO THE SCANDALOUS LIVES
OF MANHATTAN'S ELITE.

BLAIR, I JUST GOT INVITED

TO THE INSTITUTE
OF ARTS AND LETTERS'

SUMMER ARTISTS RETREAT.

THAT'S INCREDIBLE! BUT WHAT
COULD POSSIBLY BE THE PROBLEM,

BESIDES ROME IN AUGUST?

I NEED YOUR PHOTOGRAPHIC MEMORY

AND YOUR PASSION
FOR SOCIAL UPHEAVAL

TO HELP ME WRITE THE BOOK
ABOUT THE UPPER EAST SIDE.

MY COMPUTER'S GONE.

(Lola) IT'S GOSSIP GIRL.
SHE TOOK IT.

(Nate) AFTER WE GOT
THE ADDRESS FOR TONIGHT,

I GAVE IT TO GOSSIP GIRL.

I JUST NEED YOU TO KEEP
OUR AGREEMENT.

TAKE DOWN LILY.

YOU CAN'T HOLD ME RESPONSIBLE
FOR EVERYTHING BAD IN YOUR LIFE.

I CAN BECAUSE YOU ARE.

I WANT YOU GONE FOR GOOD.
PACK YOUR THINGS.

SERENA, THEIR IS NO "US,"

AND--AND NOW THAT OUR PARENTS
ARE SPLITTING UP,

I NEVER HAVE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

DO YOU HAVE WHAT I ASKED FOR?

WHAT DID WE BURY
IN THAT COFFIN?

STARTING TODAY,

I WILL BE THE ONLY BASS
IN BASS INDUSTRIES.

ALL I'VE DONE IS WORK
TO PROTECT YOUR LEGACY.

AND PINE AFTER BLAIR WALDORF.

I'M GONNA TAKE OVER
MY MOTHER'S COMPANY,

AND IT CAN BE OUR FUTURE.

YOU SAID I ALWAYS
BET AGAINST YOU,

BUT THIS TIME I'M ALL IN.

AND WHO AM I?

THAT'S A SECRET
I'LL NEVER TELL.

YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME.

X.O.X.O., GOSSIP GIRL.

-- Captions by VITA --

(The Ting Tings' "Hang It Up"
playing)

* MY FRIENDS,
THEY GET ME HIGHER AND HIGHER *

* THEY'RE KILLING ME
WITH FRIENDLY FIRE *

* WE MEET BENEATH
THE CACTUS TREE *

* THE WORKING ON SPIKES
JUST STINK FOR ME *

(Georgina)
COULD IT BE ANY HOTTER?

IT'S A GOOD THING
YOU'RE NOT FAIR-SKINNED.

OTHERWISE, YOUR SUMMER
"UNDER THE TUSCAN SUN"

WOULD END UP UNDER A SCALPEL,
REMOVING A MELANOMA.

I KNOW IT WAS MY IDEA, BUT WHY
DID I BRING YOU TO ITALY?

I SHOULD BE AT THE WORKSHOP
RIGHT NOW IN ROME

WITH ALL OF THE OTHER WRITERS,
WRITING.

YOU SHOULDN'T BE CREATING IN
A WORKSHOP. YOU'RE NOT AN ELF.

BESIDES, HOW CAN YOU POSSIBLY
BE INSPIRED INSIDE?

BUT HERE, ON THE OTHER HAND,

IF YOU'RE REALLY LOOKING
FOR PAYBACK,

THEN WHAT BETTER PLACE

TO KNOCK THE UPPER EAST SIDE
OUT OF THE DARK AGES

THAN IN THE CRADLE
OF THE RENAISSANCE ITSELF?

da VINCI, GALILEO, HUMPHREY...

UNDERWOOD?

OH, DIO MIO.
HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?

TECHNOLOGY MEANS HACKERS.
WE'RE GOING OLD SCHOOL.

DON'T JUST STAND THERE.
START TYPING.

* MY FRIENDS WON'T BUY,
WON'T GET A JOB *

OH, GRAZI I'M PARCHED.

* THROW PARTIES,
WE SIT ON THE GROUND *

(sighs) YOU'LL GET YOURS
WHEN I GET MINE.

REAL NAMES THIS TIME.
NO HOLDING BACK.

EVERYONE GETS EXPOSED.
THE NAKED TRUTH.

* EVERYBODY LOVES
SOMEBODY TO HATE *

* AND YOU CAN HANG IT UP,
AND YOU CAN HANG IT UP *

* THIS TIME, BABY

OHH!

(Nate) FASTER! FASTER! FASTER!

COULD THIS TAKE ANY LONGER?

* YOU CAN HANG IT UP,
YOU CAN HANG IT UP *

* THIS TIME, BABY,
YOU CAN HANG IT UP *

* YOU CAN HANG IT UP
AND YOU CAN HANG IT UP *

* THIS TIME, BABY,
YOU CAN HANG IT UP *

I'M GONNA RIDE THIS THING
ALL NIGHT LONG.

I HATE TRAINS.

EXCUSE ME.
CAN YOU, LIKE, MOVE YOUR LEG?

OH.

MY GOD!

(both panting)

DO...

THAT...

AGAIN.

WHAT'S THE RUSH?

WE'VE GOT ALL THE TIME
IN THE WORLD.

(Gossip Girl) WELCOME BACK,
UPPER EAST SIDERS.

CALL ME SUPERSTITIOUS,

BUT I'VE GOT A FEELING THIS
FALL COULD BE MY LAST SEASON.

LET'S FACE IT.
I'VE BEEN AT THIS A LONG TIME.

BUT AGE BREEDS WISDOM,

AND THIS I KNOW--

THE BEST IS YET TO COME.

YOU BOTH LOOK SO RELAXED.

HAMPTONS GOOD FOR THE SOUL, HUH?

WELL, YES,
THE HAMPTONS WERE LOVELY,

BUT NOTHING COMPARES
TO THE SEYCHELLES,

WHERE BART AND I RENEWED
OUR VOWS.

WHICH WAS RESTORATIVE.

BUT OUR TIME WITH ERIC
OFF THE AFRICAN COAST

WAS THE HIGHLIGHT.

(Vanya) HAVE YOU HEARD
FROM MR. CHUCK?

WELL, WE'RE HOPING CHARLES
USED HIS SUMMER TO RELAX

AS MUCH AS WE HAVE.

WELL, I'M SURE AS SOON AS HE
SEES WHAT HAPPY COUPLE YOU ARE,

HAPPY FAMILY
WON'T BE FAR BEHIND.

I'M NOT SO SURE.

LOOK AT ALL THIS.
IT'LL TAKE WEEKS TO GET THROUGH.

I THOUGHT SERENA WAS KEEPING
THE APARTMENT IN ORDER.

WELL, THAT WAS THE DEAL.

AND SINCE SHE'S BEEN
IGNORING MY TEXTS,

OUR PRIMARY MODE
OF COMMUNICATION,

I ASSUMED SHE WAS
TAKING CARE OF IT.

VANYA?

WHEN IS SERENA GONNA BE BACK?

MISS SERENA?
I HAVEN'T SEEN HER ALL SUMMER.

I REALLY APPRECIATE YOU TAKING
THE TIME TO MEET WITH ME.

YEAH, WELL, IT'S NICE TO HAVE

SOMEONE ELSE ASKING
THE QUESTIONS FOR A CHANGE.

PLUS PROFESSOR PEISER TAUGHT

MY FAVORITE JOURNALISM CLASS
AT COLUMBIA.

WELL, CLEARLY IT WORKED. I MEAN,
LOOK HOW SUCCESSFUL YOU ARE.

WELL,
WE'RE ABOUT TO FIND OUT.

I THINK IT'S REALLY BRAVE,

YOU DECIDING TO RUN
"THE SPECTATOR" ON YOUR OWN.

NO INVESTORS, NO PARTNERS,
NO SAFETY NET.

WAIT, ARE YOU HERE
TO FREAK ME OUT

OR WRITE A PAPER
ON--ON MY PAPER?

(chuckles) SORRY.
I'M JUST IMPRESSED.

I WOULDN'T BE GOING IT ALONE IF
I DIDN'T THINK I COULD SUCCEED.

AND I HAVE A STORY
ON THE HORIZON

I KNOW IS GONNA SECURE
THE COMPANY'S FUTURE.

YOU WOULDN'T HAPPEN TO WANT

TO GIVE PROFESSOR PEISER'S CLASS
AN EXCLUSIVE?

UH, NO.

BUT I LIKE YOUR INITIATIVE,

AND IF WE'RE STILL IN BUSINESS
BY THE TIME YOU GRADUATE...

(cell phone ringing)

MAYBE I'LL INTERVIEW YOU
FOR A JOB.

(ring, beep)

LILY, HEY. HOW ARE YOU?

UH, SERENA? NO, I HAVEN'T
HEARD FROM HER ALL SUMMER.

I ASSUMED SHE WAS SOMEWHERE

BETWEEN TULUM
AND THE TURKS AND CAICOS.

WELL, HEY, HEY, HEY.
DON'T--DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

SERENA'S DISAPPEARED ON US
BEFORE,

BUT WE ALWAYS FIND HER,
AND SHE'S ALWAYS FINE.

YES.

OKAY.

I AM WELL AWARE
OF THE DEADLINES, MOTHER.

YOU DON'T NEED TO PUT
ANY MORE PRESSURE ON ME.

THE STRESS IS MAKING MY HAIR
FALL OUT IN CLUMPS.

THANK GOD FOR THIS CHAPEAU.

IF THE OLSEN TWINS CAN BUILD
A FASHION EMPIRE

BOSSING AROUND PATTERN DRAFTERS,
THEN SO CAN I.

OH, I HAVE TO GO.

SOMEONE I ACTUALLY WANT
TO SPEAK TO JUST WALKED UP.

À BIENTÔT, MAMAN.

(beep)

BONJOUR, MA CHERIE.

MM. ÇA VA, JEAN PIERRE?
HOW WAS YOUR MEETING?

GOOD. NOW THAT IT'S OVER,
I CAN BE HERE WITH YOU.

(cell phone alert chimes)

YOU FRENCHMEN. MUST BE WHY
I ALWAYS COME BACK TO PARIS.

YOUR MOTHER AGAIN?

I ACTUALLY WISH IT WAS.

IT'S MY FRIEND NATE.
SOMEONE WE KNOW IS MISSING.

OH. WHAT HAPPENED?

WHO CAN SAY?
SHE DOES IT ALL THE TIME.

I'M SURE IT'S NOTHING.

YOU DON'T SOUND CONVINCED.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU SAW HER?

WHEN I KICKED HER OUT
OF MY APARTMENT

AND TOLD HER MY LIFE WOULD BE
BETTER OFF WITHOUT HER IN IT.

IT APPEARS SHE GOT THE MESSAGE.
WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

EXACTLY WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE--

SET SOME MORE MEETINGS
WITH BUYERS,

LOOK AT THE LATEST SKETCHES,

CONTACT THE TEXTILE MILL

TO SEE IF THEY CAN
MOVE UP PRODUCTION DATES.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO
TAKE ALL THIS DOWN.

YOU'RE NOT MY ASSISTANT.

NO.

BUT I DO CARE ABOUT YOU,

WHICH IS WHY I'M BOOKING YOU
A TICKET BACK TO NEW YORK.

THAT'S WHERE YOU NEED TO BE
RIGHT NOW.

FOR YOUR FRIEND.

FIRST CLASS?

BULKHEAD BY THE WINDOW.

MERCI.

DE RIEN.

DID THIS REALLY HAPPEN,
YOU AND SERENA?

ON THE BAR
OF THE CAMPBELL APARTMENT.

EVERY DIRTY DETAIL
EXACTLY AS IT OCCURRED.

NOT THAT.

THE PART WHERE YOU GUYS GET IT
ON IS "FIFTY SHADES OF BORING."

NO OFFENSE.

AFTER THAT, WHEN YOU REALIZED
THAT SHE HAD A SEX TAPE.

SHE SAID SHE ERASED IT,

BUT DID YOU ACTUALLY
SEE HER DO IT?

(typewriter bell dings,
cell phone rings)

(ring)

NO. I-I DON'T KNOW.

I MEAN, SHE SAID SHE WOULD.
I'M SURE SHE DID.

(ring)

SO SHE MIGHT STILL HAVE IT.

(ringing continues)

ARE YOU GOING TO ANSWER THAT?

NO. IT'S BLAIR AGAIN,

AND I KNOW YOU MIGHT NOT
BELIEVE THIS,

BUT I'D RATHER
LISTEN TO YOU THAN

BLAIR AND HER EXCUSES
FOR DUMPING ME.

(ring)

(beep)

Dan, finally!
Thank you for picking up.

I KNOW YOU'VE BEEN DODGING
MY CALLS ALL SUMMER,

BUT... (sighs) I TALKED TO NATE,

and no one knows
where Serena is.

I THOUGHT YOU TWO MIGHT
BE TOGETHER, HATING ME.

Are... you with her?

HELLO, BLAIR.

GEORGINA.

I SHOULD'VE KNOWN IT WAS YOU

FROM THE SOUND
OF THAT DISDAINFUL SILENCE.

Now I don't even want to know

why you are picking up
Dan's phone,

BUT PLEASE PUT HIM ON SO I CAN
SPEAK TO HIM. THIS IS SERIOUS.

NO ONE HAS SEEN SERENA
FOR MONTHS.

NOT EVEN GOSSIP GIRL HAS POSTED
ABOUT HER.

AND WHAT COULD BE WORSE
THAN THAT?

ALWAYS GOOD CATCHING UP,
BLAIR.

Ciao.

WAIT! NO! NO!

UGH!

OKAY, CHANGE OF VENUE.

WHAT? WHY?
WHAT DID BLAIR SAY?

THERE'S A NEW ENDING
FOR YOUR BOOK,

IF WE CAN FIND SERENA
BEFORE ANYONE ELSE DOES.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT
WE'RE DOING HERE, CHUCK.

NEITHER DO I.

BUT I'M TRYING TO FIND OUT.

THIS WAS THE LAST PROJECT
MY FATHER WORKED ON BEFORE HE...

HOW DO I PUT THIS
DELICATELY?

FAKED DIED.

HE SAID HE WAS IN MIAMI,

BUT HE WAS HERE IN DUBAI
WITH YOU.

AS HIS TRANSLATOR.

AND I ALREADY TOLD YOU
EVERYTHING I KNOW.

LOOK, I PORED OVER
ALL THE RECORDS

WHEN I TOOK OVER
BASS INDUSTRIES,

AND THERE WAS NOTHING ABOUT
A PROJECT IN DUBAI.

AND I KNOW
A VIEW THIS BREATHTAKING

WOULD'VE TAKEN UP
MY FATHER'S TIME AND INTEREST.

ONCE AGAIN, CHUCK,
I WISH I COULD HELP.

(cell phone ringing)

WHEN YOUR FATHER WALKED AWAY
FROM THIS, I LOST OUT, TOO.

I'M NOT SURE WHAT ELSE
I CAN DO.

MAYBE YOU CAN TRANSLATE
FOR ME.

DO YOU SPEAK
UNSTABLE PSYCHOPATH?

(beep)

HELLO, GEORGINA.

TO WHAT DO I OWE
THE DISPLEASURE?

FROM ALL AROUND THE WORLD,

OUR FAVORITE UPPER EAST SIDERS
ARE ASKING THE SAME QUESTION.

BUT I COULDN'T CARE LESS.

(click)

SERENA VAN DER WOODSEN IS DEAD.

AT LEAST TO ME.

SPOTTED AT J.F.K.
AND TETERBORO--

OUR FAVORITE U.E.S.ers
RETURNING HOME.

WHAT MOTIVATED
THIS SUDDEN FLURRY

OF TRANSATLANTIC TRAVEL?

COULD IT BE A CERTAIN PASSPORT

THAT DIDN'T GET STAMPED
THIS SUMMER?

(Lily)
NO, HER PASSPORT'S HERE.

IT WAS IN A BOX
WITH HER OTHER THINGS.

SO LET'S FOCUS OUR EFFORTS
CLOSER TO HOME.

(mouths word)

THANK YOU, OFFICER.

(sighs) CHARLES.

YOU DIDN'T HAVE
TO COME HOME...

(kisses) BUT I AM SO GLAD
YOU DID.

OF COURSE.

AND YOU'RE NOT ALONE.

AMIRA ABBAR. HELLO.

AMIRA'S A NEW FRIEND.
WE MET IN DUBAI.

(Bart) BEAUTIFUL CITY.

WITH BEAUTIFUL WOMEN.

I'M BART BASS.

SON, I TRUST YOUR SUMMER
WAS RELAXING.

INDEED, FATHER.

NOTHING LIKE TRAVEL
TO CLEAR THE MIND.

I FOUND DUBAI FASCINATING.

SUCH A FORWARD-LOOKING CITY,
YET SO MANY LINKS TO THE PAST.

IT'S TRUE. I SHOWED CHUCK
ALL MY FAVORITE SPOTS.

USUALLY,

CHUCK CAN FIND A WOMAN'S
FAVORITE SPOT ALL BY HIMSELF.

BLAIR, YOU'RE BACK,
AND YOU BROUGHT A FRIEND.

AND WHO'S YOUR MYSTERY GUEST?

I WAS JUST INTRODUCING HER.
WHERE WERE WE?

JUST LEAVING.

GOT A COUPLE THINGS TO CLEAR UP
AT THE OFFICE.

YES, I'M GONNA HEAD OUT
WITH YOU.

I HAVE ONE MORE PLACE TO CHECK
FOR SERENA.

NICE TO MEET YOU.

AMIRA, I'LL MEET YOU
AT THE HOTEL.

UH, YES. YOU CAN DROP HER OFF
ON YOUR WAY TO MY MOTHER'S.

I THINK THERE'S JAM
ON THE STEERING WHEEL.

CONSIDER YOURSELF LUCKY
IF IT'S JUST JAM.

I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH TIME
YOU'VE SPENT AROUND BABIES...

ONLY YOURS, WHEN YOU WERE
PRETENDING HE WAS MINE.

CONSTANT POOPING,
FOOD THROWING,

RANDOM EXPLOSIONS
OUT OF EVERY ORIFICE--

BABIES ARE NAUSEATING.

NOT THAT I DON'T LOVE
BEING A MOTHER.

JUST NOT AS MUCH AS GOING ON
SECRET MISSIONS WITH ME.

A WOMAN SHOULDN'T
HAVE TO CHOOSE.

SO WAIT, WHO--
WHO WERE YOU TEXTING

WHEN PHILIP
DROPPED THE VAN OFF?

'CAUSE I THINK I WAS
THE LAST PERSON TO SEE SERENA,

AND I HAVE NO CLUE
WHERE SHE IS.

YES, BUT YOU FORGET THAT
I'VE KNOWN S. SINCE NINTH GRADE.

AND WHENEVER SHE HITS
A ROAD BUMP IN LIFE,

INEVITABLY SHE REACHES FOR
A BUMP OF A DIFFERENT KIND.

AND HER FAVORITE PROVIDER
IS...

DAMIEN DALGAARD.

YOU REALLY THINK
SERENA'S ON DRUGS?

(chuckles) WELL, HOPEFULLY,
OR CLINICALLY INSANE.

EITHER WOULD BE A GREAT ENDING
FOR YOUR BOOK.

WHAT? POUGHKEEPSIE'S KNOWN
FOR THREE THINGS.

I HIGHLY DOUBT THAT
S. IS ENROLLED AT VASSAR,

AND SHE'S CERTAINLY
NOT SIGNED UP

FOR A TASTE TESTING
AT THE CULINARY INSTITUTE.

WHICH LEAVES?

WHERE WE'RE HEADED.

THE HUDSON RIVER
STATE MENTAL HOSPITAL.

SWEAR TO ME THAT NOTHING IS
GOING ON BETWEEN YOU AND AMIRA.

WHEN I SAW YOU TWO TOGETHER,

I THOUGHT YOU'D RENEGED
ON THE PROMISE WE MADE.

NEVER. SHE'S A WEAPON AGAINST
MY FATHER. THAT'S ALL.

THEY WERE INVOLVED IN SOME
OFF-THE-RECORD BUSINESS DEAL.

I BROUGHT HER BACK
TO RATTLE HIM.

OH, SHE WAS HIS TRANSLATOR?

WELL, YOU'VE ALWAYS
EXPRESSED ADMIRATION

FOR WOMEN WHO ARE GOOD
WITH TONGUES.

SHE'S VERY PRETTY.

NO PRETTIER THAN
YOUR JEAN PIERRE.

AS HEAD
OF YOUR PUBLIC RELATIONS,

DOES HE KNOW HOW MUCH YOU
ENJOY RELATIONS IN PUBLIC?

YOU TWO SEEM CLOSE.

WELL, HE'S BEEN
MY CONSTANT COMPANION

SINCE I RETURNED TO PARIS.

FOCUSING ON WORK HAS MADE IT
EASIER TO BE AWAY FROM YOU.

IF I HAD KNOWN
IT WOULD BE THIS DIFFICULT

GOING OUR SEPARATE WAYS,
I WOULD NEVER HAVE AGREED.

(sighs) WELL, WE HAD TO COME
TO SOME KIND OF AN AGREEMENT

OR WE NEVER WOULD'VE LEFT
THAT HOTEL ROOM IN MONTE CARLO.

MM.

AND...

WE HAVE MUCH TO DO.

BUT LIKE I SAID IN THE CASINO,

I'M ALL IN.

MY BET'S ON US.

LILY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I THOUGHT YOU AND BART
WERE CIRCLING THE GLOBE

IN AN 80-FOOT YACHT.

WELL, THE YACHT WAS 110 FEET,

AND MOST PEOPLE WHO'VE ACTUALLY
BEEN ON ONE CALL IT A BOAT.

I ASSUME

YOU DIDN'T COME ALL THE WAY
TO BROOKLYN TO TELL ME THAT.

NO. I DIDN'T COME HERE
TO TELL YOU ANYTHING.

I CAME HERE TO ASK.
HAVE YOU SEEN SERENA?

SHE'S MISSING, AND I THOUGHT
SHE MIGHT'VE SOUGHT OUT DAN.

WELL, DAN'S IN ITALY,

AND I HAVEN'T SEEN
OR HEARD FROM SERENA.

OH, REALLY? IS THAT WHY
HER SWEATER'S HERE?

(laughs) RUFUS, YOU HAVE
REACHED AN ALL-TIME LOW.

I MEAN, FIRST, YOU LET HER HIDE
HERE AND THEN YOU LIE TO ME,

RIGHT TO MY FACE.

THAT'S NOT SERENA'S SWEATER.

IT'S MINE.

WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?

IVY'S BEEN STAYING HERE.

HERE? WITH YOU?

LILY, COULD I GET YOU A GLASS
OF WATER? YOU DON'T LOOK WELL.

I ASSURE YOU
I AM QUITE ALL RIGHT.

UNLIKE YOU.

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG
WITH RUFUS. HE SAVED ME.

AFTER I TORE UP YOUR CHECK
YOU WROTE ME, I HAD NOTHING.

I WAS ON THE VERGE
OF DOING SOMETHING DESPERATE,

AND RUFUS OPENED HIS HOME TO ME,
GAVE ME A SECOND CHANCE.

I DON'T KNOW WHY
IT MATTERS TO YOU,

BUT SHE'S SLEEPING
IN DAN'S ROOM.

IT DOESN'T MATTER TO ME.

NONE OF IT DOES.

MY DAUGHTER IS MISSING.
GOD KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED TO HER.

AND I DON'T KNOW WHY SHE WOULD
EVER THINK OF COMING HERE.

THIS IS ALL CLOTHES
AND TOILETRIES.

WE'RE NEVER GONNA DISCOVER
SERENA'S SECRETS IN HER LOOFAH.

SHE NEVER KEPT A DAY PLANNER,

MAYBE AN ADDRESS BOOK THAT
MIGHT HAVE SOME NAMES IN IT?

SERENA'S LIFE
IS ON HER CELL PHONE,

AND IT SEEMS TO BE
THE ONLY THING SHE HAS WITH HER.

STILL NOTHING FROM GOSSIP GIRL?

I CHECKED.

HER LAST POST ON SERENA
WAS IN THE SPRING,

THE DAY SHE MOVED OUT.

WELL, YEAH, JUST BECAUSE SHE
HASN'T WRITTEN ABOUT SERENA

DOESN'T MEAN SHE DOESN'T KNOW
ANYTHING ABOUT HER.

YOU DO HAVE
A PERSONAL CORRESPONDENCE

WITH OUR POISON PEN PAL.

YEAH.
WELL, WHEN I HEARD FROM LILY,

IT WAS THE FIRST THING
I TRIED.

GOSSIP GIRL DIDN'T
GIVE ME ANYTHING.

NATE,
YOU HAVE TO CONVINCE HER.

HAVEN'T YOU EVER SEEN
A HITCHCOCK MOVIE

OR WATCHED "DATELINE"?

THERE'S ONLY SO MANY WAYS
THIS GOES--

KIDNAP/RANSOM, TORTURE/MURDER,
OR BRAINWASH/CULT.

OKAY, BLAIR, WE GET IT.

NO, YOU DON'T.

(sighs)

WE BOTH KNOW

THAT SERENA IS QUITE CAPABLE
OF HURTING HERSELF.

BUT...

THIS TIME,
I'M AFRAID I HURT HER, TOO.

THERE IS ONE MORE THING
I CAN TRY.

ANYTHING, PLEASE.

IF YOU HAVE A CARD,
NOW'S THE TIME TO PLAY IT.

IT'S OKAY.

WE'LL FIND HER.

LOOKS LIKE N. IS ABOUT
TO SAVE THE DAY.

BUT WE'LL SEE IF HE CAN
STILL SAVE HIS FRIEND.

AND THAT WAY,
WE COULD TAKE ADVANTAGE

OF THE NATURAL LIGHT.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

EARTH TO RUFUS.

HAVE YOU HEARD
ONE THING I'VE SAID?

(gasps) OH, YEAH. SORRY.

(chuckles)
UM, "EARTH TO RUFUS."

THAT'S A REALLY COOL NAME
FOR A SOLO RECORD, BY THE WAY.

ADMIT IT.

LILY'S VISIT UPSET YOU,

NOT JUST BECAUSE SOMETHING
COULD'VE HAPPENED TO SERENA,

BUT BECAUSE LILY WOULD THINK

THERE WAS SOMETHING
GOING ON BETWEEN US.

ALL YOU'VE DONE
IS BEEN A GOOD PERSON.

WHAT I'VE DONE IS

DRAGGED YOU FROM ONE POTENTIAL
ART GALLERY TO ANOTHER.

I MEAN, IF YOU HAVE TO SEE ONE
MORE POLISHED CONCRETE FLOOR...

IT WAS FUN.

(sighs)

AND IT WAS WORTH IT,
FINDING THIS PLACE.

LOOK, I'LL CALL THE AGENT,

AND I'LL TELL HIM
YOU'LL TAKE IT,

AND I'LL GO PICK UP
THE KEYS.

I CAN'T LET YOU DO ALL THAT.

YOU CAN AND YOU WILL,

BECAUSE YOU'RE GONNA BE
TOO BUSY HELPING LILY.

WELL, I GUESS I WAS SERENA'S DAD
LONGER THAN ANYONE ELSE.

WHICH IS WHY YOU SHOULD GO.

THANKS, IVY.

AND, UM...

IF THERE ARE ANY PROBLEMS
WITH THAT REALTOR...

THERE WON'T BE.
I'VE GOT THIS.

TRUST ME.

(beep)

Hi. You've reached Lola.
Leave a message.

(beep)

LOLA, HI. IT'S IVY.

SO CONGRATS ON BOOKING
A TV SERIES.

NBC, HUH?

IT'S VERY IMPRESSIVE.

WELL, WHATEVER ACTING YOU HAVE
GOING ON OVER THERE

HAS NOTHING ON MY PERFORMANCE.

RUFUS HUMPHREY--
HE'S EASY ON THE EYES

AND EVEN EASIER TO MANIPULATE.

CALL ME.

ALL RIGHT,
SO WE'RE NOT TOO FAR

FROM WHERE GOSSIP GIRL SAID
SHE IS.

WHAT MAKES YOU SO SURE

WE'RE NOT BEING LED ON
A WILD GOOSE CHASE, NATHANIEL?

I MEAN, GOSSIP GIRL IS ONLY
SLIGHTLY LESS TRUSTWORTHY

THAN, SAY, GEORGINA SPARKS OR...

ME.

YOU KNOW, YOU COULD AT LEAST
PRETEND YOU'RE RELIEVED

THAT SERENA WASN'T
INSTITUTIONALIZED.

ANY DISAPPOINTMENT
YOU'RE SENSING IS NOT BECAUSE

THE MENTAL HOSPITAL
WAS A DEAD END.

IT STEMS FROM THE FACT
THAT YOU AND I MISSED OUT

ON A REAL OPPORTUNITY.

EMPTY HOSPITAL BED,

4-POINT RESTRAINTS,
SOUNDPROOF RUBBER WALLS--

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
YOU STOP RIGHT THERE

BEFORE I START CHUGGING
THIS PREMIUM UNLEADED.

I PAID A SERIOUS PRICE
FOR SERENA'S LOCATION.

I WAS GONNA BREAK
A MAJOR STORY.

I HAD SURVEILLANCE VIDEO

THAT COULD'VE LED ME TO
THE IDENTITY OF GOSSIP GIRL.

UNMASKING GOSSIP GIRL?
THAT'S A MAJOR MEDIA COUP.

I-I CAN'T IMAGINE A BETTER WAY
TO RELAUNCH "THE SPECTATOR."

YEAH, WELL,
YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO.

I TRADED THE WHOLE STORY
TO FIND OUT WHERE SERENA IS.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

(scoffs)
IT'S NOBLE AND SELFLESS.

OF COURSE YOU DON'T.

YOU PUT YOUR WHOLE VENTURE
AT RISK.

HEY, IF IT HELPS SERENA,
IT'S WORTH IT.

COME ON, HUMPHREY.

I CAN GO UNDERCOVER
AS A PATIENT.

YOU COULD BE MY ORDERLY.

SOMETHING ABOUT MENTAL HOSPITALS
REALLY JUST...

GETS ME GOING.

YEAH, IT'S BECAUSE
YOU'RE INSANE.

I SAY WE TURN AROUND RIGHT NOW
TO GO HOME

AND PRETEND NONE OF THIS
EVER HAPPENED.

START THE CAR NOW, DAN.

WE HAVE TO SEE WHAT THIS ODYSSEY
CAN DO IN AN OPEN ROAD.

AND I'D SAY 40, 45 MAX.

WHY? WHAT'S THE SUDDEN RUSH?

THAT LIMO IS CHUCK'S.
I MEMORIZED THE LICENSE PLATE.

I KNEW HE AND BLAIR KNEW
WHERE SERENA WAS.

DAMIEN WAS RIGHT ALL ALONG.

(Ladyhawke's "Gone Gone Gone"
playing)

WE HAVE TO GET THERE
BEFORE THEY DO.

SERENA RECOUPING IN REHAB
IS MUCH LESS INTERESTING

THAN A FULL-ON SLUT SPIRAL.

* I'VE PULLED US ANOTHER PLAN

THAT'S A HEARTWARMING TALE,

BUT WHY--WHY WOULD YOU
JUST ASSUME

THAT CHUCK IS
WITH BLAIR ANYWAY?

NO, HEY!

GEORGINA, WAIT A SECOND. WAIT
A SECOND. YOU GOTTA HOLD UP.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

GET IN!

OPEN THE--STOP THE CAR.

* BUT ONLY IF YOU PLAY ALONG

(Nate) SO THE PLACE
WE'RE GOING TO

DOESN'T LOOK LIKE
IT'S ON AN ACTUAL ROAD.

SO SHE'S LITERALLY
OFF THE MAP.

WELL, WHATEVER BACKWOODS TOWN
WE'RE HEADED TO,

IT CAN'T BE GOOD.

SERENA IS NOT COUNTRY STRONG.

YEAH, WELL, WE'RE GONNA
HAVE TO BE FOR HER.

CAN YOU TURN RIGHT HERE,
PLEASE?

WE NEED TO GO WEST.

* 'CAUSE YOU'RE GONE,
YOU'RE GONE, YOU'RE GONE *

* 'CAUSE YOU'RE GONE, YOU'RE
GONE, YOU'RE REALLY GONE *

(horn blares, tires skid)

UGH!

* YOU'RE GONE

(Nate)
WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON?!

WHAT ARE WE DOING?

SABOTAGE.

(Blair scoffs)
GEORGINA SPARKS.

WITH HUMPHREY IN TOW.

HEY, GUYS.
NICE DAY FOR A DRIVE, HUH?

DON'T TALK TO THEM.
LET'S GO NOW.

W-WHERE ARE YOU GOING
AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH HER?

PROBABLY THE SAME THING
YOU'RE DOING WITH HIM.

SAVING SERENA?

NO. FINDING SERENA.

AND SINCE YOU'RE GOING
TO BE FOLLOWING US,

I'M GOING TO HAVE YOU TO FOLLOW
MY LEAD AS WELL.

WHICH MEANS WHAT, EXACTLY?

DO NOTHING. WHATEVER SERENA IS
DOING, WE CAN'T GET INVOLVED.

WE'RE THERE TO OBSERVE
AND RECORD,

LIKE A DOCUMENTARY.

THIS ISN'T A REALITY SHOW,
SPARKS.

THIS IS REALITY, A CONCEPT
I KNOW YOU'RE A LITTLE FUZZY ON.

SO WHATEVER FILTH-FILLED,
PAINT-HUFFING METH DEN

WE FIND SERENA CRACKED OUT IN,
WE DON'T JUDGE.

(Nate) WE'RE STILL HER FRIENDS
NO MATTER WHAT.

(Chuck) WE'RE HER FAMILY.

(Georgina) OH, AREN'T YOU
JUST THE KINDEST, NICEST

LITTLE TRUST FUND BABIES
IN THE WHOLE WORLD?

BUT WHEN IT COMES TO WHAT
SERENA'S CAPABLE OF,

I THINK YOU'LL FIND IT'S NOTHING
LIKE WHAT YOU IMAGINED.

I CAN'T ARGUE WITH YOU THERE.

I WOULD JUST LIKE TO POINT OUT
THAT MOST SERIAL KILLERS

ARE HIGH-FUNCTIONING MEMBERS OF
SOCIETY WHO LEAD A DOUBLE LIFE.

SHE COULD BE TRAPPED
IN THE BASEMENT

OR BURIED IN THE BACKYARD.

GOOD IDEA, GEORGINA.

WHY DON'T YOU GRAB A SHOVEL
AND START DIGGING?

THERE'S--THERE'S GOTTA BE
AN EXPLANATION FOR ALL THIS.

(beeps)

**

CAN I HELP YOU?

I BELIEVE YOU CAN. WE'RE LOOKING
FOR OUR FRIEND SERENA.

BLONDE. LEGS FOR DAYS.

EFFORTLESS CHARISMA

THAT ONLY SOMEONE
FAR LESS SECURE THAN I AM

WOULD FIND THREATENING.

AND I'M THE WEIRD ONE?

I BELIEVE YOU MEAN SABRINA?

I THINK SOMEONE'S
ABOUT TO TOSS HER COOKIES.

AND THE ONLY THING
MORE DISTURBING

THAN FINDING HER ON DRUGS
OR IN A PSYCH WARD

IS SEEING HER
HAPPY AND HEALTHY.

WHO WANTS THAT?

WHAT THE HELL
ARE YOU DOING HERE?

UH, LOOKING FOR YOU.

TO OBSERVE AND RECORD.

NO. WE'RE HERE TO
HELP YOU.

AND GET YOU HOME.

AND, UH, I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT I'M DOING HERE.

CAN'T YOU SEE
THERE'S A PARTY GOING ON

AND YOU'RE NOT INVITED?

CRASHING PARTIES
IS ONE OF OUR FAVORITE PASTIMES.

ESPECIALLY WHEN IT
INVOLVES INFILTRATING

A SOPHISTICATED
YET DEADLY CULT.

NOW WHICH ONE IS
THE CHARISMATIC LEADER?

PLEASE LEAVE
BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE.

(man) SABRINA!

SABRINA.

TOO LATE.

SABRINA, YOU DIDN'T TELL ME
YOU INVITED FRIENDS.

MM.

THAT IS SO SABRINA.

OH, SHE LOVES SURPRISES.

SHE HAS SO MANY SURPRISES, YOU
COULD WRITE A BOOK ABOUT 'EM.

WHERE TO END THAT BOOK
IS THE CHALLENGE.

I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND US
DROPPING BY.

STEVEN. NICE TO MEET YOU.

AND OF COURSE NOT. THE MORE,
THE MERRIER ON THIS SPECIAL DAY.

PLEASE,
STAY AND BE A PART OF IT.

OH, YES, STEVEN.
I THINK WE WILL.

WHY DON'T WE GET MY FRIENDS
SOME DRINKS THEN?

OKAY.

I KNOW I'M NOT EXACTLY
A WELCOME HOUSEGUEST THESE DAYS,

BUT WE SHOULDN'T LET OUR RECENT
HISTORY OVERSHADOW OUR PAST.

THANKS. I APPRECIATE IT.

HOW COULD I HAVE THOUGHT
IT WAS OKAY TO GO ALL SUMMER

WITHOUT ACTUALLY TALKING TO
MY OWN DAUGHTER?

WHATEVER THIS IS, LIL,
ISN'T YOUR FAULT.

AND WHY SHOULD I
BELIEVE THAT?

BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT YOU TOLD ME
WHEN JENNY RAN AWAY,

AND SHE WAS MUCH YOUNGER
AND CRAZIER,

WITH MUCH HEAVIER EYE MAKEUP
THAN SERENA.

WE RAISED GOOD GIRLS.

UNPREDICTABLE, SURE.

TRY RECKLESS, DEFIANT.

SPIRITED,

INDEPENDENT.

NOT UNLIKE THEIR PARENTS
AT THAT AGE.

OH, GOD. WHO CAN REMEMBER BACK
THAT FAR?

I CAN, AND SEEING THE WAY
HER MOM TURNED OUT,

I HAVE EVERY CONFIDENCE
THAT SERENA WILL BE OKAY.

WELL, LOOK,
I'M SORRY ABOUT EARLIER.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE STORMED OUT
LIKE THAT. I HAD NO RIGHT.

I SHOULD'VE KNOWN YOU WOULDN'T
BE ATTRACTED TO SOMEONE

LIKE... YOU KNOW...

IVY.

SO SORRY TO INTERRUPT,
BUT, UM,

I JUST CAME
FROM THE GALLERY,

AND, UH, LOOK. (chuckles)

WE GOT IT.

I WAS JUST--I WAS SO EXCITED.
I COULDN'T WAIT!

(giggles)

IT'S WHAT WE DREAMED ABOUT
ALL SUMMER.

WELL PLAYED, RUFUS.

YOU BUTTER ME UP,
REMIND ME HOW GREAT YOU CAN BE,

ONLY TO HAVE YOUR LITTLE TRAMP
SHOW UP HERE

AND THROW WHATEVER THIS IS
IN MY FACE.

LILY, HOLD ON.

IS IT ANY WONDER OUR CHILDREN
ARE STILL SO IMMATURE

WITH SUCH ROLE MODELS
FOR PARENTS?

DON'T SAY ANYTHING
YOU'RE GONNA REGRET.

I HAVE NO REGRETS, RUFUS,

ONLY THAT I LET YOU
IN MY HOME TODAY.

I'M ALREADY LEAVING.

YOU KNOW, I KNOW YOU'RE
REALLY WORRIED ABOUT SERENA,

BUT YOU SHOULD TRY TO RELAX
YOUR FACE.

YOU'RE GETTING SOME
VERY PRONOUNCED FROWN LINES.

BYE.

(indistinct conversations)

**

THIS IS SO MUCH WORSE
THAN WE THOUGHT.

BECAUSE YOU'RE HERE? I AGREE.

WHAT MAKES YOU SAY THAT?
IT'S A NICE HOUSE.

HE SEEMS LIKE A NICE GUY.

LOOK AT THIS.

TRELLIS, CHAIRS, PASTOR.
THIS IS A WEDDING.

(scoffs)

AND SERENA WAS WEARING
A WHITE DRESS!

EITHER SHE'S THE BRIDE,
OR SHE'S JUST REALLY TACKY.

I TOLD YOU. SHE'S OBVIOUSLY HAD
A PSYCHOTIC BREAK.

SERENA'S TAKEN
TOO MANY HAPPY PILLS,

AND NOW SHE THINK SHE'S SABRINA
FROM DAN'S BOOK.

THAT ACTUALLY SOUNDS
VAGUELY PLAUSIBLE.

OR TODAY'S THE DAY
OF THE CULT SACRIFICE,

AND SINCE I DON'T SEE
ANY VOLCANOES IN THE AREA,

I WONDER IF THEY'RE BURNING HER
AT THE STAKE.

AND THEN YOU LOST ME.

WHATEVER IS GOING ON,
WE CAN'T LET HER MARRY THIS GUY.

TIME FOR A PLAN.

OKAY, WELL, LILY WAS
REALLY WORRIED THIS MORNING,

SO I SHOULD AT LEAST CALL HER

AND LET HER KNOW
WE FOUND SERENA.

AND I CAN REACH OUT
TO THE OSTROFF CENTER,

HAVE THEM READY SERENA'S OLD BED
JUST IN CASE.

AND HUMPHREY AND I WILL
TRY TO GET HER ALONE.

WE'RE THE CLOSEST TO HER,

THE BEST CHANCE
OF BREAKING THROUGH.

AREN'T YOU FORGETTING SOMEONE?

(sighs) TRYING TO.

FEAR NOT. I'VE SEDUCED
A MAN OF THE CLOTH BEFORE.

I CAN DO IT AGAIN.

THIS WEDDING CANNOT HAPPEN.

BLAIR, WHY DON'T YOU GO FIND
SERENA ON YOUR OWN?

YOU KNOW, I'M REALLY NOT UP FOR
A SUPER SECRET MISSION,

ESPECIALLY WITH YOU.
I'M NOT EVEN HERE TO HELP.

GEORGINA JUST DRAGGED ME ALONG
SO I COULD, YOU KNOW,

OH. OKAY.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

UH, ASIDE FROM THE FACT
THAT MY FACE NOW HURTS?

YOU KNOW WHAT, BLAIR?
YOU CHOSE CHUCK.

I DON'T OWE YOU AN EXPLANATION.
GOOD LUCK.

(elevator bell dings,
doors open)

IN HERE, CHUCK.

(keyboard keys clicking)

WRONG BASS, MY DEAR.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I CAME HERE TO ASK YOU
THE SAME QUESTION.

SO IS CHUCK USING YOU,

OR ARE YOU USING HIM?

WHAT GOES ON BETWEEN CHUCK
AND ME IS NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

YOU BETTER HOPE
YOUR RELATIONSHIP

HAS NOTHING TO DO
WITH BUSINESS,

BECAUSE SO HELP ME,

IF YOU'VE TOLD HIM ANYTHING
ABOUT MINE.

I HAVEN'T.

YET.

BUT THAT COULD ALWAYS CHANGE.

CHUCK IS VERY PERSUASIVE.

TAKES AFTER HIS FATHER
IN MORE WAYS THAN ONE.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO LEAVE TOWN
WITH YOUR MOUTH SHUT?

YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST
BUY MY SILENCE?

I CAN BUY ANYTHING.

IT'S ONE OF THE CHIEF PERKS
OF BEING REALLY RICH.

$10 MILLION.

**

EVERYTHING OKAY?

YOU SEEM A LITTLE NERVOUS.

OH. YEAH, NO.
IT'S JUST A LOT OF PRESSURE,

AND I WANT EVERYTHING
TO BE PERFECT. SO...

BUT WHEN DO I GET
TO SEE YOU ALONE?

THAT'S ALL I CARE ABOUT.

MM.

NOT SOON ENOUGH.

ALTHOUGH, I, UH, IMAGINE

YOU WANNA SPEND SOME TIME
WITH YOUR FRIENDS.

SO ARE THEY FROM VASSAR

OR DID YOU, UH, GROW UP
WITH THEM IN WISCONSIN?

UH, WISCONSIN.

AND I'M--I'M SO SORRY I DIDN'T
TELL YOU THAT I INVITED THEM.

IT JUST MUST'VE SLIPPED MY MIND
WITH ALL THIS GOING ON.

NO, IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY.
I'LL SEE YOU OUT THERE.

OKAY.

WISCONSIN?

SERIOUSLY?

DO YOU EVEN KNOW
WHERE THAT IS ON A MAP?

WHAT I DO KNOW IS,

YOU TOLD ME YOU NEVER WANNA
SEE ME AGAIN,

AND THEN YOU SHOW UP HERE,
TODAY OF ALL DAYS,

WHEN I'M FINALLY HAPPY WITH
SOMEONE I ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT?

CARES ABOUT YOU

OR SABRINA FROM MADISON
WHO GOES TO VASSAR?

GEORGINA'S RIGHT.
YOU REALLY ARE DELUSIONAL.

I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU
RUIN THIS.

SERENA, I HAVE NO INTENTION
OF RUINING YOUR BIG DAY.

I HOPE YOU DO MARRY THIS GUY.
FRANKLY, IT WOULD BE

THE KIND OF DESPERATE,
ATTENTION-SEEKING STUNT

THAT WOULD PROVE YOU'RE
EVERY BIT AS SHALLOW AND SAD

AS THE CHARACTER IN MY BOOK,
SO--

OKAY, I DESERVED THAT ONE.

WAIT.

WAIT, MARRY HIM?

HOW'D IT GO?

(sighs)

HUMPHREY AND I SPLIT UP.

I DIDN'T FIND SERENA,
SO HOPEFULLY HE DID. YOU?

THE OSTROFF CENTER'S ON ALERT,

THOUGH APPARENTLY NOW IT'S
CALLED THE PEDOWITZ INSTITUTE.

GREAT NEWS. YOU'LL NEVER GUESS
WHAT I FOUND.

LOOKS LIKE NATE ARCHIBALD
TO ME.

(Nate) AFTER I TALKED TO LILY,

I FOUND HER ROOTING AROUND
SERENA'S BATHROOM.

NOT ROOTING. SNOOPING.
AND ALL FOR A GOOD REASON.

THE ONLY THING
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO BE DOING

WAS GETTING BETWEEN
THAT MAN AND HIS CLOTH.

HE'S PROTESTANT. I DO
MY BEST WORK WITH CATHOLICS.

THANK GOD I'M AN ATHEIST.

GREAT. NOW THIS WEDDING IS GONNA
HAPPEN UNLESS WE FIND SERENA,

WHICH REQUIRES US FINDING DAN.

WELL, THAT MIGHT BE EASIER
THAN YOU THINK.

(glass clinks)

COULD I HAVE
EVERYONE'S ATTENTION, PLEASE?

SABRINA, WOULD YOU--
WOULD YOU JOIN ME?

TELL THEM, PLEASE.

(sighs) OF COURSE.

OKAY, SO SERENA EXPLAINED
EVERYTHING--

EXPLAINED WHAT?

THAT'S SHE'S NEVER BEEN HAPPY
IN HER WHOLE LIFE

AND SHE FOUND TRUE LOVE
FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME?

PLEASE.

...IN LIFE, WHICH IS WHY
I'M--I'M SO GLAD

THAT YOU ALL COULD BE HERE
FOR THIS SPECIAL MOMENT.

(guests murmuring)

AND TO HAVE THE LOVE OF MY LIFE
BY MY SIDE.

SO LET'S, UH, LET'S ALL
RAISE A GLASS--

NO! NO!

WE WILL RAISE NOTHING!

YOU CANNOT MARRY HER.

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW HER!

BLAIR, PLEASE.

HER NAME ISN'T SABRINA EITHER.

IT IS SERENA.
SERENA VAN DER WOODSEN!

(murmuring)

AND THAT'S NOT ALL.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I'VE GOT THIS.

PUBLIC HUMILIATION'S
REALLY MORE MY FORTE.

SABRINA/SERENA HAS A HISTORY
OF MENTAL IMBALANCE,

DRUG USE, AND PROMISCUITY.

THAT'S RIGHT. SHE'S GOT
A RAP SHEET AND A SNUFF FILM.

YEAH, AND WE HAVE CONTACTED
A PSYCHIATRIC CARE CENTER

WHO HAS AGREED
TO TAKE HER INTO CUSTODY.

KILL ME NOW.

HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING
DOWN THERE?!

WAIT. WHO ARE THE TWO ANGRY GUYS
IN MATCHING HATS?

THEY'RE THE GROOMS.
THAT'S WHAT I WAS TRYING TO SAY.

THIS IS NOT SERENA'S WEDDING.

WILL SOMEONE TELL ME
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?

WHY ARE
THE MAID OF HONOR'S FRIENDS

RUINING
DAVID AND DAVID'S WEDDING?

I KNOW I HAVE
SOME EXPLAINING TO DO.

BUT CAN WE TALK,
JUST THE TWO OF US, PLEASE?

NO. NO ONE GOES ANYWHERE.

NO MORE LIES. I HAVE PROOF
THAT YOU'RE ON DRUGS.

I FOUND THESE IN YOUR BATHROOM.

YEAH, THOSE ARE VITAMINS.

OKAY. LIKE WE'RE SUPPOSED
TO BELIEVE THAT.

STEVEN MAKES THEM. HE HAS
A HOLISTIC HEALTH COMPANY.

WAIT. YOU'RE STEVEN SPENCE.

I SAW YOU SPEAK AT
THE T.E.D. CONFERENCE LAST YEAR.

I TOLD YOU I WAS FINE.

ACTUALLY, NO, YOU DIDN'T.

YEAH. DAN IS RIGHT.

YOU FELL OFF THE FACE
OF THE EARTH WITHOUT A WORD.

BUT ISN'T THAT WHAT YOU WANTED?
YOU KICKED ME OUT OF YOUR HOUSE.

YOU SAID YOU HAVE NO REASON
TO EVER SPEAK TO ME AGAIN.

AND, WHAT, YOU TWO WERE TOO BUSY
DOING WHATEVER IT IS YOU DO

TO EVEN SEND A TEXT?

I SPENT THE SUMMER
IN THE MIDDLE EAST,

DEALING WITH SOMETHING RELATING
TO MY FATHER. IT'S SERIOUS.

WELL, AND SO AM I ABOUT
TURNING MY LIFE AROUND.

WAIT A SECOND. BLAIR,
YOU TWO SPENT THE SUMMER APART?

I STARTED MY SUMMER ON A TRAIN,
BEING REVIVED BY PARAMEDICS.

MOUTH-TO-MOUTH
ON PUBLIC TRANSPORTATION?

YEAH, I'D SAY
THAT'S ROCK BOTTOM.

YEAH, I WOULD, TOO,

WHICH IS WHY I WANTED TO
START FRESH WITHOUT ANY OF YOU.

AS FOR WHY I PRETENDED
TO BE SOMEONE ELSE,

WELL, I-I THINK
THAT EXPLAINS ITSELF.

SERENA!

I DON'T BELIEVE YOU.

WELL, I'M NOT GONNA LET HER
JUST CHARGE OFF WITHOUT--

NO, NOT SERENA. YOU.
THAT YOU CHOSE CHUCK,

I-I DON'T--I DON'T LIKE,
BUT I BEGRUDGINGLY ACCEPT.

DAN, PLEASE DON'T DO THIS.

BUT THEN I FIND OUT THAT
YOU'RE NOT EVEN WITH HIM.

I AM WITH HIM,

OR AT LEAST I WILL BE.

WE MADE A PACT.

WE HAVE THINGS WE NEED TO DO
ON OUR OWN.

BUT WHEN WE ARE BOTH
IN THAT NEXT PLACE,

WE WILL BE TOGETHER FOR GOOD.
END OF STORY.

SO I DIDN'T LOSE YOU TO CHUCK.
I LOST YOU TO THE IDEA OF CHUCK,

AT SOME POINT IN THE HOPEFULLY
NOT-TO-DISTANT FUTURE, MAYBE?

WELL, WHEN YOU PUT IT
THAT WAY...

YOU KNOW, YOU HAD SOMEONE
WHO LOVED YOU UNCONDITIONALLY,

TREATED YOU RIGHT, AND WANTED
TO BE WITH YOU EVERY DAY,

AND THEN YOU THREW THAT
ALL AWAY

TO LET CHUCK BASS DECIDE
WHEN HE'S READY FOR YOU?

YOU THINK YOU TWO HAVE
AN EPIC LOVE,

BUT ALL YOU HAVE ARE EXCUSES.

I HAVE TO GO FIND SERENA.

I'M SORRY I CAME TO LILY'S.

I NEVER MEANT
TO CAUSE ANY PROBLEMS.

LILY THINKS WHAT SHE WANTS.

IT'S ALWAYS THE WORST,
ESPECIALLY ABOUT ME.

WELL, SHE'S WRONG.

I PROBABLY SHOULDN'T
BE SAYING THIS,

BUT... (sighs)

I'M GLAD YOU GOT AWAY FROM HER.

SHE DOESN'T APPRECIATE YOU.

NEVER DID.

(keys clank)

YOU KNOW, IF YOU HAVE
SUCH A POOR OPINION OF LILY,

THEN...

WHY WAS IT SO IMPORTANT
FOR YOU TO GET CLOSE TO HER?

(sighs)

I REALIZE NOW

SHE'S NOT THE ONE
I WANNA BE CLOSE TO.

YOU'RE THE GOOD ONE,
AND YOU CARE ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE.

AND I THINK THAT'S WHY
SHE'S SO THREATENED BY ME.

I SEE THE REAL YOU,

AND I DON'T THINK
SHE DESERVES YOU.

THAT'S AN INTERESTING THEORY.

(inhales deeply)

I THINK IT'S MORE THAN THAT.

IVY...

IT'S OKAY.

I'M NOT A KID.

YOU'RE NOT MARRIED.

(indistinct conversations)

WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?

YOU DIDN'T THINK I WAS
LEAVING WITHOUT YOU?

OR... (sighs)
WITHOUT SAYING I'M SORRY.

BECAUSE I AM, SERENA.

THINKING THAT
I REALLY LOST YOU

MADE ME REGRET EVERY HORRIBLE
THING I'VE EVER SAID TO YOU.

WELL,
THAT'S A LOT OF REGRET.

HOWEVER COMPLICATED
OUR FRIENDSHIP GOT,

I SHOULDN'T HAVE LET IT GO.

I SHOULDN'T HAVE LET YOU GO.

"B.F.F." MEANS
"BEST FRIEND FOREVER," RIGHT?

WELL, MAYBE IT'S TIME
TO ADMIT THAT...

WE'RE STUCK WITH EACH OTHER.

I APPRECIATE THE KIND WORDS,

AND--AND I KNOW THAT THEY'RE
HARD COMING FROM YOU,

BUT I DON'T WANT
TO BE STUCK WITH YOU.

I WANT A FRESH START

WITH STEVEN.

(scoffs)

FINE.

IF THAT'S HOW YOU WANT IT,
STAY HERE.

YOU CAN HAVE POUGHKEEPSIE.

HELL, YOU CAN EVEN HAVE
SCHENECTADY,

BUT I GET MANHATTAN.

HAVE A NICE LIFE.

POOR B.

LOOKS LIKE SHE JUST GOT DUMPED
BY THE LOVE OF HER LIFE,

AND WE'RE NOT TALKING
ABOUT CHUCK OR DAN.

(The xx's "Angels" playing)

THE TWO OF US
ALONE IN YOUR LIMO?

YOU'RE REALLY TEMPTING FATE.
YOU KNOW THAT?

* YOUR SHADOW

UNLESS THAT'S YOUR INTENTION,
OF COURSE.

* THOUGHT COULD EXIST

WE'RE BOTH BACK IN NEW YORK,
DOING WHAT WE NEED TO DO.

* LIKE BREATHING WAS EASY

MAYBE OUR PACT IS JUST
AN EXCUSE

FOR US NOT TO BE TOGETHER.

BLAIR, I LOVE YOU
WITH ALL MY HEART,

AND THAT IS THE REASON

WE CANNOT TAKE THE CHANCE
OF MESSING THIS UP.

SURE. BECAUSE WHAT WOULD
YOUR FATHER THINK IF YOU FAILED?

THAT I DISTRACTED YOU.

THAT... YOU SACRIFICED
YOUR EMPIRE FOR ME.

BLAIR,
YOU ARE A DISTRACTION,

BECAUSE WHEN WE'RE TOGETHER
YOU'RE ALL I THINK ABOUT.

AND I WOULD GIVE UP MY EMPIRE
FOR YOU.

I WOULD GIVE UP EVERYTHING
FOR YOU.

* THE THINGS THAT
NO ONE ELSE SEES *

AFTER A COUPLE NIGHTS
IN MONTE CARLO,

I LOST TRACK OF ALL TIME.

WE WERE EXHAUSTED
AND STARVING.

I THINK I HAD
AN ACTUAL FEVER.

BUT THAT'S NOT WHY
WE NEED TO DO THIS,

AND NEITHER TO PROVE A POINT
TO MY FATHER.

THEN WHAT?

* IN LOVE WITH YOU AS I AM

IN THE PAST, I BLAMED
MY MISTAKES ON YOU,

AND BART WAS RIGHT
ON THAT COUNT.

IT'S THE BOY WHO BLAMES
THE GIRL, NOT THE MAN,

AND THAT'S WHAT I WANT
TO BE WITH YOU.

* AND WITH WORDS UNSPOKEN

* A SILENT DEVOTION

* I KNOW YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN

IT WON'T BE MUCH LONGER,
I PROMISE.

* AND THE END IS UNKNOWN

* BUT I THINK I'M READY

ARTHUR, PULL OVER.

WAIT. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
THIS IS YOUR LIMO.

* AS IN LOVE WITH YOU

I NEED TO WALK IT OFF.

* AS I AM

* BEING AS IN LOVE WITH YOU
AS I AM *

* BEING AS
IN LOVE WITH YOU AS I AM *

* BEING AS IN LOVE, LOVE

* LOVE

(I.M. alert chimes)

(keys clicking)

(chimes)

HEY, SAGE.

HI. SORRY FOR DROPPING IN
AFTER HOURS,

BUT I WAS WALKING BY AND I SAW
THAT YOUR OFFICE LIGHT WAS ON.

AH. NO, YOU, UH, YOU JUST--YOU
THOUGHT OF MORE QUESTIONS, HUH?

ONLY ONE.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE A DRINK
WITH ME?

YEAH. I COULD USE A DRINK,
ACTUALLY.

BAD NEWS ON YOUR BIG STORY?

REAL BAD.

(click)

WHAT'S OLD IS NEW AGAIN.

I MAY NOT HAVE MUCH TIME LEFT,
BUT SOME THINGS ARE FOREVER.

SINCE YOU KNOW WHO I AM,

I THOUGHT IT WAS TIME
THAT YOU SEE WHERE I'M FROM.

THAT EXPLAINS WHY
YOU DIDN'T WANT

TO COME BACK TO THE CITY
AND STAY AT MY PLACE.

I'M JUST ON THE OTHER SIDE
OF THE PARK.

YOU KNOW,
ALL THAT TIME AWAY,

I DIDN'T REALIZE
HOW MUCH I MISSED IT.

BUT NOW THAT I'M BACK
AND I'M WITH YOU,

NEW YORK HAS NEVER SEEMED
MORE PERFECT.

THE PROMISE OF LOVE...

MMM.

NO ONE CAN RUIN THIS, NO MATTER
HOW HARD THEY'RE GONNA TRY.

THE THREAT OF WAR...

(Rebecca & Fiona's "Dance"
playing)

AND THE FALL OF THE MIGHTY.

AMIRA.

IT'S LATE. I THOUGHT YOU WOULD
BE IN YOUR OWN SUITE.

YOUR FATHER GAVE IT TO ME
TO KEEP QUIET.

ABOUT WHAT?

FOR THAT AMOUNT OF MONEY, YOU
MUST KNOW A HELL OF A SECRET.

I SWEAR I DON'T KNOW
WHAT IT IS,

BUT I WANTED TO STICK AROUND
TO FIND OUT.

* REWIND

THAT WAS A WASTE OF TIME.

ALL THAT DRIVING AND WEDDING
CRASHING AND PUBLIC HUMILIATION,

AND STILL NO SERENA.

WHAT'S WORSE, STILL NO ENDING
TO YOUR BOOK.

SERENA STILL HAS
HER CELL PHONE.

I JUST KNOW THAT VIDEO
HAS TO BE ON IT.

I GUESS WE'LL NEVER KNOW
'CAUSE SERENA'S NOT COMING BACK,

AND YOU'RE NOT GOING
LOOKING FOR HER AGAIN.

SOMETHING TO HIDE,
HUMPHREY?

IF MEMORY SERVES, THAT VIDEO
SHOULD MAKE YOU A STAR.

OR IS IT THAT YOU JUST DON'T
WANT BLAIR TO SEE?

CAN YOU--CAN YOU--CAN YOU JUST
DROP IT, PLEASE?

WHY ARE YOU EVEN WALKING ME
TO MY DOOR?

I'M NOT
KISSING YOU GOOD NIGHT.

OKAY.
I'LL CALL YOU TOMORROW.

AND JUST BECAUSE
I'VE SEEN IT ALL

DOESN'T MEAN
I'VE SEEN EVERYTHING.

AND I GOTTA SAY,
NO ONE SAW THIS ONE COMING.

**

* WE CAN LEAVE IT ALL BEHIND

YOU MAY THINK MY BEST DAYS
ARE BEHIND ME,

BUT THIS OLD GIRL STILL HAS
SOME NEW TRICKS.

STAY TUNED.

* THIS DANCE WILL LET YOU KNOW

X.O.X.O., GOSSIP GIRL.