All language subtitles for Ghosts.2021.S04E01.1080p.WEB.H264-NHTFS(SDH) (1)

SASAPPIS: Isaac Higgintoot,

do you take Nigel
to be your husband?

I don't.

And you couldn't have
told me this an hour ago?

♪

FLOWER: Her name is Patience.

She's the lady that
lives in the ground.

What? Who's that?

We were once stuck in a hole.

We decided we had to join hands

and navigate our
way through the dirt

to the Woodstone basement.

We agreed that Sass
would lead the way,

then Thor, then myself.

There was another ghost
in the hole with us.

Her name was Patience.
She was a Puritan.

- W-What happened to her?
- SASAPPIS: Isaac sneezed

and let go of
Patience's hand.[gasps]

For all we know, she's
still out there, roaming.

So, you're telling me
there's a Puritan woman

just out there wandering
around in the dirt?

Yes.

Mm-mmm. I don't
like that one bit.

You really should have invited
us to the wedding, Isaac.

He's here, Patience.

PATIENCE: God bless you.

Oh!

MAN: Patience, the
council has met,

and we've decided
that we'd like you

to leave the community.

What?

But I'm the most pious among us.

Who experiences less joy than I?

Who is more severe?

Uh, you are joyless
and severe, I agree.

But even for us Puritans,

there's such a thing
as too severe. I mean,

you wanted us to execute
Miss Elizabeth Prue.

She was talking to a doll.

'Tis surely a sign
of witchcraft.

She's five.

And on a path most dark.

[sighs] The point is you
have to leave. I'm sorry.

Then fine.

I shall start my own colony.

Where there will be no smiling,

no laughter.

And all the handles
of the butter churns

shall be rough-hewn,

so that thoust shall
feel the pain of sin

with every stroke.

Well, I think people are
going to really enjoy that.

Or-or not enjoy it.
Whatever you wish.

Anyway, banishment.

Next.

♪

ALBERTA: Oh, man.

I feel bad about
Isaac leaving Nigel

at the altar last night,

but what a show.

Indeed. At least
it was a break

from the crushing mundanity
of our bleak existence.

Okay, the water bill this
month is unusually high.

And just like that, we're back.

Jay, have you been taking
long showers or something?

You think I'm
taking long showers?

I got a bunch of invisible
people creeping on me.

I wear a bathing suit in there.

People are so
uptight about nudity.

In the cult, we used
to take group showers.

It really helped to clean
those hard-to-reach places.

Quick, Samantha,
more water bill talk.

[door closes] MARK: Hey, guys.

Got those tile samples
for the restaurant.

Mark and I just went
to the hardware store.

[chuckles] Because I
can leave the property.

We know, Pete.

This one's perfect, right here.

Final answer. Lock it in.

Wow, okay. That was easy.

It's usually a whole weird
song and dance with you two.

Well, we should confirm
it with our investor.

Right, our silent partner.
But do you really think

he needs to weigh in
on such a little thing?

Yes, I think he
would be very upset

if we didn't loop him in.

Yeah, that's more
what I expected.

Anyway, our supplier said
he's almost out of these.

So if we want them,
we got to act fast.

See? So, let's ask Isaac, okay?

Is he in here?

No. Have any of
you guys seen him?

- Mm.
- No. He must still be moping in his room.

Oh, poor guy. But it
was exciting for us.

Oh, the drama!
- The smell of the hors d'oeuvres. - Mm.

The camaraderie. The
sharing of the soap.

And she's back on group showers.

He wasn't at the hardware store

because he can't leave
the property, which I can.

- What'd they say?
- They haven't seen him.

I hope he's doing okay.

Eh, I'm sure he's fine.

Okay, okay, you know what?

Let's just address the
elephant in the room.

You're upset with me.

Patience! Patience!

That's new.

Thou didst abandon me.

It was an accident.

I had to sneeze

and so I covered my nose.

And in doing so, I did
let go of your hand

and abandoned you to the dirt.

The point is, I was wrong.

And I apologize.

'Tis my intention to
push thee into the dirt

such that thou may know
the century of suffering

Patience has endured.

What?

- Patience!
- Aah!

Hey.

Sorry, um, have
you-you seen Isaac?

[sighs] The marksman
who only yesterday

pierced my heart
for a second time?

No. I can't say that I have.

But, in a grander sense,

I'm not sure I've ever
seen the real Isaac.

I'm sorry, Nigel.
This is really hard.

Nigel's still
living in the house?

I thought he would have
slunk back to the shed.

[groans]

- Damn it, Jay.
- What?

Didn't Isaac, like, totally
ditch him at the altar?

[moans loudly]

Well, we'll leave you alone.

Those of us who
possess the ability

to close doors will do so.

[Nigel moaning]

SASAPPIS: Can you turn
on the TV already?

It's not called 45 Minutes.
I want to watch the full 60.

[chuckles] Okay, it's not
just like pressing a button.

I mean, it is, but it's hard.

And it's impressive
that I can do it at all.

Possible Trevor somehow
growing weaker over time.

Legs are looking little smaller.

What? No.

That's not even
physically possible.

Hey. Have you guys seen Isaac?

I haven't seen him.

Me neither.

Not since wedding, which went...

[chuckles] very bad.

Nancy? Have you seen Isaac?

Isaac? Huh. Huh...

You know, now that
you mention it,

I think he said he was going
for a stroll this morning.

Mm-hmm. And I remember that
because when he said "stroll,"

I was looking at a
bowl and I was like

"Whoa, stroll and bowl...
what are the chances?"

- What?
- Did he say when he'd be back?

I'm sorry, I didn't
get his life story.

Geez, what's with the
third degree, huh?

Why are you being so weird?

I'm not being weird.

You're being weird!

Quit taking your body issues
out on me, chicken legs.

I don't have to
take this. Move!

Interesting.

Nancy seems like she's
hiding something.

Okay, you listen here, Nancy,

and you listen good.

She left, Jay.

Why am I even along
on this mission?

Please, Patience. I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to lose you.

I-I... I did look for you.

A few times, I even ventured
slightly into the dirt.

No. You wouldn't.
Not for Patience.

Are you kidding? I missed you.

We all missed you.
Me, Sass, Thor.

The entire Hole Patrol.

And we had some
good times, right?

Remember when

Thor tried to say the
word "supposedly,"

and instead said "supposably?"

[chuckles][chortles]

'Twas indeed quite amusing.

And I don't know about you,

but I loved our
time in the ditch.

I mean, who wouldn't
enjoy staring

at that gorgeous porcelain skin?

'Tis from the bloodletting
that killed me.

[chuckles]

I'm just glad we
get to hang again.

Although, similarly to
how Thor, Sass and I

missed being in the
ditch with you, I do fear

I might miss being with them.

See what I mean, Patience?

- Isaac is lonely.
- Exactly.

I miss my friends.

You can understand that, right?

Oh, Patience understand.

Patience. Patience.

Great.

Isaac. Isaac.

ALBERTA: Nancy, out with it.

What happened to Isaac?[groans]

I don't know why you guys
are riding my leg about this.

I have no idea where he is.

Okay, I had promised
not to say anything,

but Nancy already
told me what happened.

You told him about Patience?

[gasps] Wait, what
happened with Patience?

Oh, damn it, Stuart.

You have to be the dumbest,

most gullible piece of
trash I've ever known,

and I was married to
the village idiot.

Come on, Nancy. What happened?

Okay.

So yesterday, attracted
by the pulsing bass

from the wedding DJ's speakers,

Patience appeared
through the wall.

She asked to speak to Isaac,

so we arranged a meeting.

CATHERINE: We thought she just
wanted to yell at him a little.

We didn't know she was
gonna drag him away.

It was very rude.

NANCY: We were mad about

not being invited
to the wedding,

but we didn't want
this to happen.

Jay, uh, quick update.

Isaac was kidnapped
by a Puritan ghost

who's been roaming
the dirt for centuries

waiting for a chance at revenge.

Oh, that's really gonna push
back an answer on these tiles.

Obviously, I'm also very
concerned for Isaac.

Thor confused. How
Patience just take Isaac?

Not like she strong enough
to lift Isaac over shoulder.

Probably something you
struggle with as well.

I broke a ThighMaster
once, Thor. I broke it.

Patience is real
stealth. I'll show you.

I'll be Patience and,
Sass, you be Isaac.

Okay? See, he was
standing over there.

Right here?

Yep, but his back
was to the wall.

- Like this?
- NANCY: Exactly.

Then all of a sudden...

- Patience!
- Oh!

[all scream]

Okay, you got to believe me.

We did not know that
was gonna happen.

[shouting]

[panting] Surprise!

Patience, what is
the meaning of this?

Thou did say that thou
missed thy friends.

'Tis now a problem solved.

Wait, did I get kidnapped

because Isaac said
he was lonely?

No. I have been
vastly misunderstood.

And also, - she has gone quite mad.
- Okay.

Isaac didst inform me how
much you searched for Patience

all those years ago.

'Twas a relief

on account of how much I
did see thee as friends.

Uh... same.

Oh! I never had such friends

as in the ditch.

And now we have another chance.

- Huzzah.
- Yay.

It is ordained.

We shall spend the remainder
of eternity here, together.

Now

is it time for my
daily constitutional.

It took me a century to get
my bearings here in the dirt,

so don't you go wandering off

lest ye be lost forever.

[cackling]

Oh, this sucks.

Yeah.

Okay, Flower, you
spoke with Patience

while you were in the well.

Do you recall her
saying anything

that could help us
locate Isaac and Sass?

Don't love that Flower's
memory's load-bearing here.

Okay,

let me think.

It's interesting,
because Patience

has taken Isaac and now Sass.

It's almost like she's
abducting everyone

that was in the ditch with her.

Which just leaves Thor.

- Huh?
- ALBERTA: Yeah.

She could be coming
for you next, big guy.

The final piece to her
creepy little puzzle.

Thor like to see her try.

[chuckles] Thor not scared.

Oh, wait! I do remember
something about Patience.

- Mm.
- She was small,

she had no arms and legs.

She was a worm.

There was worm named Patience?

Yeah, I named her after
this other Patience I met.

She's a Puritan.

And we're in the vicinity.

Do you know where we
can find the Puritan?

Yes, Patience said
something about

living in a cave
underneath a willow.

Okay, Flower said
that Sass and Isaac

are under a willow.

Is there a willow
tree on the property?

Yeah, remember, that's
where I crashed my drone

that looks like a TIE fighter.

TIE fighter's from Star Wars.

Star Wars is a
futuristic space opera.

A... Well, actually, it was
set in the distant past.

This is worse than
Samantha's water bill talk.

Well, what are we
waiting for, huh?

- Let's go get 'em.
- Get who?

- Aah!
- Aah! Aah!

What the hell?!

Thor not scared,
Thor just surprised.

Subtle but important difference.

[water dripping]

Maybe being imprisoned
in this dank lair

with that interminable dripping

is my comeuppance.

What are you talking about?

I've disappointed everyone
who's ever depended on me.

I was a bad fiancé in
death, a bad husband

in life. Let this be

my promise to you, my friend.

If, by the grace of God,
we ever get out of here,

I vow to change my ways.

To be

kinder, to be less selfish.

To be a better person.

Good for you.

Your rock looks more
comfortable. Can I have it?

W-What happened to
being a better person?

What? Oh, no, no,
no. I said, "if."

If we get out of here.

God has to uphold his
end of the bargain first.

[sighs] Can't believe
we're in this situation.

Who knows what that lunatic
has in store for us?

Ugh. Honestly, I'd like to say

that she became terrible

because of the isolation,

but she was always a
little off to begin with.

[imitates Patience]: Patience!
Patience![Isaac chortles]

Your version's too sane.
[imitates Patience]: Patience!

Patience![regular voice]: Oh,
yeah, that's it. That was good.

That one really
captured the madness.

That wasn't me, Isaac.

[both gasp]

Patience. What's up, girl?

[grunts] Oh.

I'm tired and my hands hurt.

Yeah, sorry I couldn't find
that second shovel, Jay.

You threw it behind
the shed, Sam.

How it going?

Thor, get over here.

Thor good in this

open space

with, uh, clear views
of all approaches,

but... [short
chuckle] not scared.

[thump] Oh, I think
he broke through!

Sam, I think I broke through.

Do you see anything?

Sass! Isaac!

Trevor! Arrow guy!

Oh, this is fun,
naming everyone.

Oh, it's

a burrow of rabbits.

No ghosts. They're
not in here.

Patience ain't in there.

You can stop cowering, Thor.

And your hat small and
ugly like Trevor's legs.

Two for one... boom!

Wait a minute.

Patience never said she
lived under a willow.

The Grateful Dead said we could
all get high under a willow

in the song "Sugar Magnolia,"

which wasn't released
until after I died,

but Bobby Weir used to sing
it to us in the shower.

They're not in there, Jay.

You know what that means?

BOTH: We're digging
in the wrong place.

Raiders. Did Pete do
the Raiders thing?

Our friends are still
being held hostage,

but, yes, Jay, he did
the Raiders thing.

- My guy.
- My guy.

I wanted to be nice.

But no one's nice to Patience.

There's only one thing to do.

Yes, one thing to do.

Forget this ever happened

and start over
with a clean slate?

Take thee into the dirt.

Eh, when you say, "thee,"

do you mean me
"thee" or he "thee?"

Both.

Don't love that.

[growls]

[both screaming]

Three, two, one, shoot! Yeah.

What was that? Y-You
just made a fist.

That is what rock is, Stuart.

The rules are so simple.
You're killing me.

The sexual tension
between these two.

It's palpable.

Will they or won't they?

Just put us out of our misery.

[screaming] Oh, my
God, that was gross.

Oh, that was so
scary. And disgusting.

I'm pretty sure a worm went
right through my mouth.

Oh, she's back and
she wants more!

Here, take him.
He's not annoying.

No.

I'm returning them.

Thou art free to go.

Wait, really?

W-why?

'Tis mine own fault for
thinking you actually liked me.

Patience shall return

to her one true friend:

the dirt.

Oh...

Why does paper beat rock?

Do I run into the dirt?

[exclaims]

I got it! Patience
said she was living

in a white room
with black curtains.

No, wait,

that's from a bath I
took with the band Cream.

[groans] This is painful.

If legs hurt from standing,
you can have Thor seat.

I was talking about Flower.

The legs are great.

We have returned.

[ghosts exclaiming]

How did you escape?

Did you brave the dirt?

Or did you have to
do something you can

never talk about?
You can tell Berty.

Berty keeps her mouth shut.

Actually, she just let us go.

Sasappis hurt her feelings.

Me? You did it too.

But you started it,
by imitating her.

[imitates Patience]:
Patience! Patience!

[regular voice]: That's
a thing she does now.

It's nuts.

Look, I'm glad to be back,
but I don't know, man...

I feel like she needed
friends and we abandoned her.

Just like we did 130 years ago.

[imitates Patience]: Patience!

[regular voice]: I'm not even
exaggerating, that is literally

what it is. She is loony.

Well, I think we figured out
what's up with the water bills.

Mark says the
fountain is leaking.

Just hundreds of dollars
dripping into the ground.

And the fascinating saga of
the water bill continues.

Will they patch the - pipes? Stay tuned.
- Babe,

Sass and Isaac escaped
Patience's clutches.

They're back.

Oh, nice.

You see? Sometimes this ghost
stuff just resolves itself.

That's a good lesson - for the future.
- SASAPPIS: Wait a minute.

Dripping?

Isaac, remember the
dripping in Patience's lair?

Patience's lair must
be under the fountain.

What? She's been 50 feet
away this entire time?

Oh, now, that creeps
me all the way out.

You know, if Patience's
feelings were really hurt,

now you can do
something about it.

We know where she is.

Hey, just to clarify,
are you suggesting

going and getting the
creepy, feral, Puritan ghost

and bringing her into the house?

I'm suggesting righting
a wrong that happened

a long time ago.

Wow. And you wouldn't
even let me get a lizard.

May I just remind you that this

lunatic kidnapped

and held us hostage?

'Cause she was hurting, Isaac.

And, also, she let us go.

Wait, you were
kidnapped by a worm?

I may regret this, but I feel
we need to go get Patience.

Patience is very creepy,

but Thor know

pain of abandonment.

Would not wish that
on any non-Dane.

Isaac, you were
literally just saying

that if we got out of there,
you'd turn over a new leaf

and be a better person.

Well, here's your chance.

Yes, perhaps we could start
with something smaller?

I could compliment one of
Samantha's dreadful sweaters.

That looks...

lovely.

- Isaac.
- Okay, fine, fine.

[sighs]

Let's go get that
scary Puritan woman.

Jay, we may need to destroy
the fountain, but...

Please don't finish - that sentence.
- TREVOR: No.

I got a better idea.

I'm a guy with great legs

and a great idea.

SAMANTHA: Wow, Jay,

this is actually really cool.

They formed a human chain.

Or, you know, a ghost chain.

Once again, Sam,
we're still human,

we're just dead.

This is the most amazing
sight I've never seen.

You see, back at Camp Ramah,

I was anchor of my
tug-of-war team.

Three years running,

we got first in the
Maccabiah games.

Okay.

I'll take Crash's hand.

At least we know
he cannot sneeze.

Yeah, yeah, keep
going. Into the dirt.

I hate this! [shouts]

Whee! [laughs]

Oh! Now we stop. Stop.
Stop. Pull out! Pull out!

No! The-the ghosts got
pulled into the dirt.

JAY: Oh, no.

[grunting] Yes!

T-Money and his magic quads.

[grunts] Suck it, Thor!

Thor's way up there.

Pass it on.

Suck it, Thor. Pass it on.

DIRK: Suck it,
Thor. Pass it on.

STUART: Suck it,
Thor. Pass it on.

[water dripping]

[grunting]

Patience!

We came back.

Isaac? Sasappis?

What is the meaning of this?

We're not gonna
abandon you again.

Come with us.

[Pete screams]
Oh, sorry! Sorry!

I... got him.

We're good, we're good.

Look, we know we messed up,

but you're our friend.

And you are not a lunatic.

My point is we would like you

to come back to
the house with us.

You came back for me?

Not soon enough.

Patience. Patience!

Oh, so, it can be good or bad.

- That's interesting.
- Mm-hmm.

[imitates Schwarzenegger]: Come
with me if you want to live.

[regular voice]: Terminator.

It's a movie. Uh, a movie's,

like, a series of images...
SASAPPIS: Can we do this

back at the house?

Suck it, Thor. Pass it on.

Wait.

[sighs] Hey, Jay,
if I were kidnapped

and trapped in an
underground lair,

would you risk an
eternity in the dirt

for the chance to save me?

Ooh, of course.

And I love that these
are our hypotheticals.

Mm.

Well?

Oh, sorry, bro.

It's a no-go on the tiles.

Our investor wants
to see other options.

I mean, burgundy...

are we opening a
restaurant or a brothel?

Okay,

I'll find some more options.

Sorry, Mark.

By the way, how's Patience
adapting to life in the house?

I think it's going really well.

PATIENCE: One last
question for thee.

What is thy favorite color?

Ugh. I did not
sign up for this.

Patience! Patience!

Aah! Purple!

Oh.

Captioned by Media Access
Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org