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ADAM: Welcome to Bickleton, New Jersey.

Bickleton takes up less than three square miles,

yet 26,000 people call it home.

We got a typical Main Street, Lions Club,

respectable public schools K through 12.

But Bickleton's biggest selling point

is its close proximity to the city.

In 35 minutes, I could go from my living room

to Times Square, depending on traffic.

I've lived here my whole life.

I'm a fixture in this community.

My name is Adam Harris, and this was my life.

My grandfather served on theUSS Missouri in World War Two.

He told me stories every time he visited.

Stories of pain and triumph,

doing the country proud,

what it means to be a hero.

Sometimes he would just start crying.

My dad, John Harris,

was in Vietnam.

He never told stories.

Me, I graduated in the top 11th percentile in my class.

It would have been in the top 10%,

but I failed phys ed because I suck at free throws.

At graduation, TJ Buck said something that stuck with me.

Dude, this town breeds losers.

I worked in a deli. Me and my friends ran the town.

We knew dudes in the pool hall,

the video store and the local bar.

Anything I needed, I was hooked up.

Everything was free thanks to the barter system.

Plus, we all lived at home, so rent and laundry were free, too.

Life was fucking beautiful as long as everyone did their part.

The only guy from school we figured would ever make it was Chuck Fuck.

Chuck Fuck fucked.

That's what he did. That's all he did.

Chuck Fuck fucked every good-looking chick in school.

Every damn one.

Normally, you'd want to kill that dude.

But Chuck was cool. He knew his role.

Chuck told us when and where he'd be fucking,

and he always made sure to do it in front of an open window

so all of us porn dog freaks could watch.

After graduation, Chuck was headed out to Cali to do movies

and fuck models and shit.

If anyone from our town could do it, he could.

Can I have your attention, guys?

Uh, listen, unfortunately we aren't going to...

But after 10 auditions and two callbacks,

Chuck was back working at Bickleton Burgers.

My other friends just turned their part-time jobs into full-time jobs.

Not me. I got accepted to a school in New York City.

Mostly, I just wanted to meet girls.

-Hey. -I already have a drink.

And she's buying the next round.

When that didn't work, I had to go to Plan B.

You drinking tonight?

A little bit.

That's it, baby.

You know you wanna cum for me, baby.

[GROANS]

Just like that,

I was addicted.

Ah! Two more seconds!

[KNOCKING ON DOOR]

Campus security, open up!

Better have bail money.

Well, I didn't. She went to jail,

and I got kicked out of college.

That's all right. I was back with my friends

and living the dream in Jersey.

Yo, Don. You coming in or what?

I don't know, how's the water?

Wet. Get in, bitch.

-All right. -Mmm-hmm.

[BOTH GRUNTING]

TJ: Did you guys hear about Chuck Fuck?

DON: No, what the hell's that freak been up to?

Nothing now. Fucking killed himself.

-Chuckie's dead? -Ah, dude. He got nailed by a train.

They're saying it was an accident.

An accident? How? What, a train came to the house and got him?

Everyone knows those trains come by every hour.

Come on, think.

I saw him at a party a few weeks ago.

He said his life was a mess.

-Fuck it, we're all still alive, right? -SPIM: Yeah.

Cheers. Cheers to not being a freak who gets hit by fucking trains. Right?

-Cheers. -Cheers.

Cheers to burgers cooked rare.

And smoking weed.

Gentlemen, here's to poon.

To a couple of regular guys fighting the good fight.

Not giving up when we were down,

not going down when we're up.

We've seen that fresh air shit. We made it this far.

DON: That's right. We did. Fellas,

it doesn't get any better than this.

ADAM: All right, cheers, boys.

MAN: Hey! Who the fuck's in my pool?

DON: Shit! Go, go, go, go! ADAM: Let's go!

-ADAM: Get the beers! -Is that my fucking grill?

You better get the fuck outta here!

Come here!

ADAM: You know what the problem is?

Too many people believe in certain institutions

unconditionally, like college.

I mean, I'm not saying college isn't good,

but it's, it's not good unconditionally.

The mere act of going to college, it doesn't mean shit

if you don't know why the fuck you're there.

Well, the reason everybody says you've got to go to college

is because the system has everybody brainwashed.

And meanwhile, the price of tuition goes up every year.

It's just a big business perpetuating itself.

You know what the saddest part is?

DON: What's that?

They got their customers doing their advertising for 'em.

You got to go to college.

[CHUCKLES] Fuck you.

DON: Okay.

You are the smartest dumb guy I know.

ADAM: Is this what I wanted? No, not really.

But hey, it could be worse.

[BELL ABOVE DOOR RINGS]

How are you, Adam?

Hey, Mrs. Primrose. What'll it be today?

How about a blueberry muffin?

Sounds good.

ADAM: Thank you.

-There you go. -All right, thank you.

-Bye. -Have a nice day.

[DOOR CLOSES]

-[TIRES SCREECHING] -[WOMAN SCREAMS]

Adam! Call an ambulance!

Quick! Old lady got hit by car!

Call ambulance quick!

OPERATOR: 911.

Hi, I'm calling from Ami's Bagels, 196 Main Street.

We need an ambulance. A woman just got hit by a car.

Forget it. No head.

No head.

Man, you gotta see this.

I worked for Israelis.

That asshole is Uri,

my boss' younger brother.

Working with Uri was fucked up.

At this bar last night,

these girls were dancing.

So beautiful. I mean, their tits,

the size of babies.

Uri was an arrogant motherfucker.

All he cared about was women and money.

He'd do anything for either.

Hey, $100 I fuck the next girl who comes in here.

Go away, Uri.

$100. Next customer. Or all those poppyseed bagels.

$100 or I strangle you by the end of this shift.

Hey, fuck you! I'm Israeli! I fucking kill you!

Hey, hey, hey! Stop eating all the egg salad.

Ami's losing money on you.

Fuck you, asshole. I gotta try it to make sure it tastes good.

Oh, my God. I think I see it coming.

Hello, sexy.

It was ridiculous.

All day I stuffed myself. I was like an anaconda.

I could eat twice my own body weight and never gain a pound.

Uri became intrigued.

He started betting me on how much I could eat.

$65 all the bran muffins in two courses.

Or $110,

whole wheat bagels.

-How long? -Two hours.

No butter, no cream cheese.

I'll eat a Virginia Ham for $70.

No, ham is too expensive. Ami is going to kill me.

He was amazing. It's like he had a price catalogue in his head.

One stick of butter $43, six eggs,

including shells, $55.

And it didn't always involve food.

$120, two feet of twine,

or a handful of packing chips.

How much I drink this cooking oil?

Dude, you'll die. A week's salary.

The only bet I ever carried out was when I bet him 20 bucks

he couldn't eat a head of cabbage like an apple.

Check this out.

Fucking Army style.

-[SPITS] -[ADAM LAUGHS]

Pay up, asshole.

What? You bet me, I eat it.

I did, so you don't pay me?

Bullshit. That's not how a bet works.

Well, that's how it works in Israel!

ADAM: And then, the good times stopped.

If you look, she lost her head.

You know how many times I seen this in Israel?

-Oh, shit. -What?

Look in the tire tracks.

That's her fucking brain.

Wow.

[INDISTINCT RADIO CHATTER]

[SIRENS BLARING]

Dude, $1,000, cash.

ADAM: The accident was haunting me.

I had to go to the funeral.

Wouldn't let us help her.

No.

Why do bad things have to happen to good people?

I was fascinated.

How much knowledge was stored in this one piece?

What can you tell about someone from a piece of brain?

Brains equals lots of questions.

URI: Adam, how many times do I need to tell you? Make some more egg salad. Now.

Like why do bad things happen to good people?

Fucking customer, so stupid.

Maybe this makes him smile then.

Hey.

Shh, shh.

Have a nice day.

What are you doing?

What? He's dumb. He needs brains.

Are you crazy? He could get sick.

So? I don't give a shit about him.

Oh, yeah? Well, what about Grace Primrose, huh?

You're disrespecting her memory and her whole fucking life, you fucking asshole!

Aw.

-I'm gonna go catch him. -Hey, hey!

What are you gonna say?

Yeah?

In Israel, we cut off your balls if you fuck with us.

Come here. Move it, move it!

[CUSTOMERS SHOUTING]

ADAM: Fuck! Fuck!

AMI: Uri! Uri!

Uri, the fuck! It's not your store!

-What the fuck are you doing? -Fucking retard is crazy.

He stole an old ladies brain.

Ami, he pulled a knife on me!

He poisoned a customer's food!

[SPEAKING IN HEBREW]

Sorry, folks.

Free cookies on the house, please.

We discuss this in my office now.

Now!

URI: What you doing? You always...

Uri was Ami's brother,

which meant I was getting fired.

-End of story. -[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

But Uri was illegal in this country.

So one call about his knife assault and bye-bye, America,

hello, Israeli Army.

We worked out a handsome severance package.

I might not be working, but I wasn't gonna starve.

My mama didn't raise no dummy.

Unless, of course, you ask my mama.

How do you get fired from a deli?

Any idiot could do that job.

Well, look at all the ham I got.

You can't pay bills with ham, you fucking moron.

John! Get in here!

What happened to you?

You were in the top 11% of your class.

Can I pay my bills with that?

Where do you think you're going?

[LAUGHS] Oh, no!

That's not your room anymore.

Your father and I talked

and letting you live here rent free is just enabling you.

So that's it.

What, so I have to pay rent now?

No, you gotta move out.

I'm gonna turn your room into a sewing room.

I get fired, so you kick me out?

No, we were gonna kick you out anyway.

Your getting fired is just bad timing.

I can't believe this bullshit!

Yeah? And I'm supposed to believe

that I raised my only son to be a 25-year-old

unemployed live-at-home do nothing

who gets kicked out of college for soliciting prostitutes?

You don't even sew!

God!

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]

Whiskey me.

Thanks, Luke.

Hey, man. You think I could crash at your place?

Sorry, bro. I got this new hottie girlfriend

and we like to fuck all over my house.

You'd cramp our style.

[URINATING]

What an asshole.

ADAM: When I left the bar, I was wasted.

And pissed.

At my mom, at Israel.

Most of all, at myself.

I didn't deserve anything.

I didn't fight in a war.

I was just a useless loser.

I just wanted to break shit.

[GLASS SHATTERING]

[CAR ALARM BLARING]

I was just so fucking pissed and drunk.

I decided I was gonna beat the shit out of the next person I saw.

Strike that. The next man I saw. I'd never hit a chick.

But the next dude, he was fucking dead.

[DOG BARKING]

-[GLASS BREAKING] -[MAN CRIES OUT]

[GROANING]

[POLICE SIREN BLARING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

POLICE OFFICER: Gonna talk to us or what?

You're under arrest. Let's go.

You know, kid? You're a hero.

ADAM: His name was Richard Pope,

but his nickname was "Hands."

A few years older than me,

Hands broke every receiving record in the state

and led our football team to back-to-back championships.

He should have been going places.

Instead, the same hands that caught 284 passes

were used to hold down seven women as he sexually assaulted them.

A sketch had been posted around town.

I had never noticed it.

He had just finished raping his seventh victim,

Mona Huxley, before I stepped in.

Like with most small towns,

news travels fast.

Way to go, kid.

Mom was so proud of me, she let me move right back in.

We even got a free dinner at the Red Lobster in Paramus.

I always knew you were a good person.

-How are you? -Good!

People were gonna look at me differently from now on.

I imagined life as a superhero.

Always in demand.

[PHOTOGRAPHERS CLAMORING]

REPORTER: Let's get a good shot, there he is!

Shut the fuck up out here!

I understand having a secret identity.

Well, why work a day job? You really that into journalism?

I can't imagine a superhero needing the money.

Fucking taxes.

The least people could do is hook you up for saving their lives

and doing good deeds and shit.

Apparently, there was a cash reward for Richard Pope's capture.

But that wasn't the most rewarding part.

-MR. HUXLEY: Hello. Hi. -I'm Adam's mother.

This is my husband John.

-Hey, John. Bill Huxley. -Hey. Your daughter's very brave.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

[HIP HOP SONG PLAYING]

TJ: Hey, did you guys hear about Frankie Carlsen?

SPIM: No.

He's working at the Sizzler over at Route 17.

No, no, no. It's not a Sizzler, that's a Steak and Ale.

Does it fucking matter?

Anyway, they were closed, so they were cleaning up the place.

Two dudes knock on the door, ask to use the bathroom.

Frankie lets them in.

They pull out guns and put it right to his head.

Then they made Frankie open the safe,

they make him and the rest of the crew get in the freezer.

Were there chicks in there, man?

Dude, they were in there all night. They could have froze to death.

Yeah, well, serves him fucking right for getting in the freezer.

TJ: What would you do if you had a gun pointed to your head?

I'll tell you what I would do. I'll tell you what you should do.

All right, Spim,put your hand on melike you're gonna shoot me.

Come on. Come on. Right. Here's what you do, right?

-You want to grab this hand, twist it... -SPIM: Hey!

Boom! Face with a fucking elbow like that, right?

-Take the gun and just whip him in the fucking face. -SPIM: Okay.

-Pow! Pow! Pow! -Dude. Okay, stop!

Jesus. God!

[DOG BARKING]

Yo, your dog's locked up, right?

If he bites me, I bite you.

-The dog is outside. -Don't get snippety with me.

SPIM: Dude, you said you'd be here two hours ago.

Yeah. Well, I ain't selling lollipops, douchebag.

Everybody in town knew Vic.

He was a senior when we were freshmen.

Professional drug dealer.

Yo, watch my bible. I gotta take a shit.

Damn, what the fuck do they put in those gyros at the diner, Greek?

Ah, don't ever order a gyro in there, dude.

Vic, wouldn't you get here faster if you drove?

First of all, don't ever tell me how to run my business, fuck breath.

I want to drive, I have to get a license and insurance,

and that puts me in the system. Fuck that shit.

Yo, what's to drink around here? I'm parched.

DON: I got beer.

VIC: No. Not while I'm working. What else?

-[TOILET FLUSHES] -Diet soda.

Son, doesn't NutraSweet cause cancer?

Your curtains don't match.

So what, no chicks?

You guy's having some kind of Greek orgy or something?

[LAUGHS]

We're just playing cards.

Where the fuck did you get this? The brook?

Son, I can get you a filter cheap.

Just the weed for now, Vic, thanks.

All right, gotta fly. Let's settle up, gents.

That's a buck 20 for the bag,

plus Greek still owes me $75.

And big Don's good for $40 for those phone cards.

Aw, come on, man, I forgot all about that shit.

Yeah, well, that makes one of us.

We're a grand total of $235.

But I'll take $235.

He's right. It's $235.

Yeah, no shit. 770 in math, SAT, bitch.

Come on, divvy up.

Good.

Hey, you that guy who caught Richie Pope?

Good, Hands was a fucking scumbag, kid.

I got some stories.

[LAUGHING]

A tragic ending to the story of five-year-old Samantha Cohen

kidnapped from her home over two weeks ago.

Her body was found by two hikers in the woods

a mile west of Route 23 in West Milford, New Jersey.

MALE NEWSCASTER: So sad. However, there is some good news.

Women in the North Jersey town of Mickleton

are breathing a collective sigh of relief

with the arrest of this man, Richard Pope.

Pope is the prime suspect of a series of brutal rapes

dating back two years.

JOHN: He looks like a cockroach.

Problem is when you're infested with roaches,

you smash one,

there's a hundred more hiding in the shadows.

What this town needs is an exterminator.

[LAUGHS]

The more I thought about it,

the more I realized

this was it.

I'd finally found my true calling in life.

I'm in big, big trouble.

I know.

Hi.

Hi, how you doing, can I help you?

I'd like to join the police force,

I've decided to become a cop.

I've got to put you on hold, okay?

So where do I pick up my uniform?

I take a size small.

Think you can just walk in off the street and become a cop?

You know, first you gotta go to school

and then you go to the academy and then you become a cop.

No offense, Officer Pavon, but, uh...

I've seen the cops in this town,

you know, all they do is drive around,

go to the Burger King, McDonald's.

I could do that.

You trying to be a wise-ass? Huh?

No, I'm just saying.

For the first time in my life, I know what I want.

I'm ready to go here.

I just got done telling you.

First you go to school and then you go to the academy.

Hey, Bob, could you come here for a second?

I was a hero,

but I sure didn't look like one.

I was fat where I should be thin

and scrawny everywhere else.

Fuck it.

Things were gonna change around here.

I decided I had to live up to my image.

I was a hero.

I was gonna start acting like one.

-[ALARM BEEPING] -I started setting

my alarm clock earlier and earlier,

even though I had nowhere to be.

I'd have a dozen eggs, bacon,

sausage, frozen waffles.

Then I'd spend the rest of the day

turning all that shit into muscle

with a strenuous workout regimen.

Pushups, pull-ups, sit-ups, dips, free weights.

To build endurance, I started jogging.

Two miles, then five.

Hey! No sleeping on the job.

I found myself cruising around town late at night,

just looking.

I knew stuff was happening.

But it was impossible to find it.

Hi. Is Mona home?

No.

Okay. Uh...

Would you tell her...

Never mind. Thanks.

You caught that monster Pope.

Mona's out with a friend.

Okay, well...

Thank you.

You should have killed that bastard.

Dad?

Can you show me how to fight?

[PANTING]

Even a strong man has limitations.

You got a phone call.

It's Mona.

[CAR HORN HONKING]

Big date?

It's not big.

Or a date.

-Have fun. -Thanks.

MONA: Hi.

Sorry you had to drive.

My mom had to work tonight.

That's okay.

So where to?

-MAN: If you write your phone number, big tip. -Thanks.

Yo ho-ho! Dick boy. Where you been, man.

Too busy to call me, asshole?

I'm never too busy to call you asshole.

Greek, this is Mona. Mona, this is George the Greek.

-How are you? -Good, thanks.

You're from Greece?

No, I just work in a diner.

-How many? Two? -ADAM: Yeah.

Come on.

Here we go.

ADAM: I'm really glad you called.

Yeah. My dad said you stopped by.

I did.

I know I didn't think he was lying.

Yeah, right. [CHUCKLES]

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

So, tell me about yourself.

Um... [CHUCKLES]

Okay. I... I'm 25.

And, um...

I was born here, and I grew up here.

Uh, I'm 5'11",

but sometimes I tell people I'm 5'10".

[LAUGHING]

Okay.

So, you guys want to hear the specials?

I'm lying, there are no specials, what can I get you?

Whatever you do, don't get the gyro.

Okay. [LAUGHS]

Um...

Why don't you order for me?

Okay.

We'll have two cheeseburgers,

uh, a baked potato,

-extra sour cream, extra butter... -[MAN SHOUTS]

...cream of broccoli soup,

extra crackers.

And for the lady, a tuna melt.

[LAUGHING]

You got it.

So you're a social worker?

I 'm studying for my masters at Brown.

I just came back for my Aunt Grace's funeral.

My condolences on your aunt.

Thank you.

She ate at my deli.

She seemed like a good person.

Are you okay?

Ask my kids in 20 years.

Dad?

Mom says you want to see me.

I want to show you something.

We started night patrols, April of '69.

Nobody in charge watching out for us.

Fuck it. Make it up. Watch out for each other.

But the bush was the darkest, scariest shithole

I ever didn't see.

Sometimes we'd go weeks without seeing a single gook bastard.

But we always knew they were out there.

Everywhere.

Nowhere.

It's a radio scanner.

Police use channel 477.16.

I thought it might help, son.

[RAP PLAYING ON CAR RADIO]

What's up, dude?

What's with that?

It's for my new job. Security.

No shit.

You gotta tell us where you're working sometime.

We can go over there and loot the place.

You know,

Spim.

I've always thought that you were like the smartest guy in our group.

And, uh...

Well, this is kind of hard to explain, but...

I've been having some thoughts.

What kind of thoughts?

Let's just say,

you know, I look around

and I think that somebody should do something.

About what?

You know, about... things.

In town.

I don't know, man.

I've been getting some crazy ideas.

You've have always been a little bit weird, bro.

Oh, shit, I love this song.

I'm gonna crank this shit.

[TURNS UP VOLUME]

Dude, you're fine.

Listen, I talked to Don.

He knows a guy in the meat department

who knows about a party in Lodi.

There should be some women, whatever. You in?

Nah.

No parties for me, man.

I got plans.

WOMAN: [ON POLICE RADIO] Headquarters to 508. Respond.

1015 in progress.

Stephanie's Deli. 425 Main Street, Vernon.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER ON POLICE RADIO]

Evening, officer.

Anything I can do to be of assistance?

Stand back, please.

He the only perp or there more?

I appreciate your concern, all right.

We got everything under control over here.

So you either go in the store, or you go home.

WOMAN: [ON POLICE RADIO] Routine. Suspect one in custody.

Second suspect still at large.

Suspect is described as black male...

Hey, come here.

824, I need assistance.

Don't get in that car.

[POLICE SIREN WAILING]

What is this, a fucking joke?

[BRAKES SCREECH]

-Hey. -Hands behind your back.

So what, you're arresting me for starting my car?

No, we're arresting you for being an asshole.

Oh, is that a crime?

What's the police code for that?

How about I tattoo it across your forehead?

Bob, please can you give us a couple seconds over here?

Thanks.

Ah.

You know, I'm no expert but I don't think that

that guy can handle the stress of this job.

-I on the other hand... -Stop!

Just shut your mouth.

Now, I think I understand what's going on here, Adam.

You recently helped us remove

a very dangerous predator from our streets.

And you got excited.

And I can understand that.

But that does not make you a professional lawman.

This does.

So give me one of those.

It's dangerous and it's illegal

for you to be out there pursuing criminals.

Now, I am willing to let this whole thing slide

if you promise me

that you're not gonna interfere in police business again.

Trust me, I appreciate what you're trying to do

but it's small town, we can handle it.

Can I go?

You can go.

[GRUNTING]

-What the hell? -Damn!

What the fuck are you guys doing here?

We're your friends, remember? Your dad let us in.

We're going to Don's house, quick, so put a shirt on.

Car's running. Five minutes. Hurry up.

We're not taking no for an answer.

You're coming with.

Come on.

Oh, shit, what's... What's up?

Where the fuck you been, bro?

I've been around.

Yeah, I know you've been around.

I mean, you're not around us, but you've been around.

What, you get your first whiff of pussy

you forgot about your friends, is that what happened?

Started without me?

What the fuck are you guys doing?

Yo, Adam. This guy told me about this club in Jersey City.

How do I look?

Yeah, you look good, except for that gay-ass fucking shirt.

What the fuck is wrong with this shirt?

It's the gayest shirt I've ever seen.

Two dudes fucking is less gay than that shirt.

[LAUGHING]

Blame Don's mother, she bought it for me.

Dude, we back in high school again or what?

Yeah, except for the cocaine.

Where'd you guys get that? Vic?

VIC: Hey, who mentioned my name?

Oh, look, it's the funky bunch.

Nice shirt, Greek. I'm sure

you'll pick up a lot of dudes wearing that.

[LAUGHING]

So, you fags bring your wallets?

No.

No, man. I'm out of here.

-Oh no! No! -No, no, no, don't go.

Look, just try a little. Vic, can he try some?

Yeah, sure. Try before you buy.

I don't want any.

[Vic scatting]

SPIM: Dude, no, come on. You're missing out.

-DON: Peer pressure. -Yeah, don't be such a woman, bro.

What's wrong with you?

Hey, I don't touch this shit myself.

If you can't fuck on it, I don't want it.

Good thing you ass clowns never get laid.

[LAUGHTER]

What's your excuse, cowboy? Man up to that shit.

I'm in training.

What, Special Olympics? No, I'm kidding.

Obviously, you work out. What do you bench?

Come on, what do you bench, 250, 300?

Son, I'm just trying to help you out.

Look, don't be embarrassed. We're just two grown men talking about benching.

All right, here's the situation.

I can get you steroids. Andro, The Clear.

I can get you pills if you're too pussy to shoot it.

You like porn?

I know you like to jerk off a lot.

[LAUGHTER]

He's laughing.

DON: [LAUGHS] I'm kidding.

VIC: I got some sick shit, bro.

I got this one Cuban chick blowing a zebra.

What?

Oh, no. I'm kidding, it's a horse painted like a zebra.

[LAUGHS]

Yo, son. What the fuck is that?

That's $80.

Relax, dude. Relax, he's cool, Vic.

Hey, fuck you, don't tell me to relax!

I'll be the judge of who's cool around here.

Aw, Vic, come on, it was an accident.

Argh!

So are you, you gyro-eating motherfucker.

-SPIM: Vic, relax. -Shut up, you son of a bitch.

Vic, we're all friends here.

Fuck friends, this is business!

Somebody pay me $80 now!

Now!

I don't care if you have to go upstairs

and ask your fucking mother for it,

tell her you spilled the cocaine all over the place.

Now!

DON: All right, Jesus Christ, Vic. Lower your voice.

Shit!

Don't get snippety with me.

God!

DON: Where you going? VIC: Let him go.

My dad was right.

This town was full of cockroaches.

But Vic was more than just a roach.

He was a cancer

eating away at this town.

I went from Manhattan to Brooklyn,

and back up to the Bronx.

I switched lines.

Take the 7 to Queens,

or the J to Bed-Stuy and Brownsville.

The worst neighborhoods I could think of

Night after night, this became my routine.

Mister. Mister.

I think you missed your stop.

Hey!

[GRUNTING]

Damn, motherfucker!

You got to be ready

for anything.

Here's your mail.

You never finished your story before.

Why'd they kick you out of school?

Uh, apparently they have something called "rules."

I guess I broke them.

[CHUCKLES] Troublemaker.

You ever think about reapplying elsewhere?

Nah. I'm not cut out for college.

Not everybody can be doctors, lawyers,

social workers of the world.

Some people have to do the dirty work, too.

That is a total copout.

I wish I could stay in school.

What do you mean?

I guess I'm gonna take a couple semesters off.

My dad...

My dad needs me at home.

I don't know.

He would ask you to do that?

He's my dad.

I don't want to take care of him, but I have to.

VIC: Jesus Christ, lady, how old are you?

How long does it take to put a fucking wonton on a plate?

Let me help you out here.

[WOMAN SPEAKING FOREIGN LANGUAGE]

MAN: There should literally be laws against people like you.

First law: get the fuck out of my way!

Second law: learn some fucking English.

Like, try this,

"Vic makes my yellow nipples hard."

Can you say that?

[CHUCKLES]

What made you decide to come to my aunt's funeral?

I was the last person she spoke to.

What did she say?

Um, she said...

"Thank you, Adam."

[CHUCKLES]

So you were there when my aunt died,

and two days later you caught the guy who assaulted me.

Pretty big coincidence, no?

Yeah, maybe I'm bad luck.

No, I think it was all meant to be.

Be right back.

Where you going?

Duck sauce.

Sorry, I just need some duck sauce.

Take all you want. baby, they'll make more.

[MOUTHING]

ADAM: Hey, hey.

Oh, yeah. What's up, son. She with you?

How you doing? My name's Vic.

-Mona. -Yeah. Are you?

Hey, are you guys going to the movies tonight?

'Cause I got everything that's in the theater on DVD

and it's good quality, too.

-We're good. Thanks. -Yeah? Okay, suit yourself.

I'm gonna go to the bathroom.

Yeah, it's right back there, sweetheart,

-to the left. -Thank you.

VIC: Mona. Look at that switch.

So, is she a "mona"? [LAUGHS]

Hey, let me ask you something.

What's it like banging a raped chick?

That's something Uncle Vic hasn't tried yet.

I mean, does she re-enact shit?

Yeah.

Then again, you know, I wouldn't put my schwing

anywhere Richie Pope's been.

but that's just me.

Fucking whackjob.

Yeah, 80 bucks, right there. Keep the change.

WOMAN: Enjoy.

See you later, cuz.

What an asshole.

Oh, God!

Thank you.

Thanks for dinner.

It's my pleasure.

Thanks for driving.

My mom needed the car tonight to go bowling.

MONA: You're 25, get your own car.

Whoa! That guy just slammed your door.

MONA: No, it's fine. He just tapped it.

[ENGINE REVVING]

Hey, buddy.

You just tapped my friend's car with your door.

Boo-fucking-hoo! Huh?

[TIRES SCREECH]

What are you doing? Put that away.

What are you talking about?

You got me dinner, you don't have to buy me gas.

Hi, uh, $10 regular, please.

No, no, no. Fill her up. The good stuff.

Adam, what are you doing?

Yeah.

Your windshield's dirty.

Lazy fuck.

$36.18.

How much did you say it was?

$36.18.

How much?

$36.18. You have a hearing problem?

No. You have a hearing problem, dick?

[LAUGHING] Oh, shit, it's you.

Spim, this is Mona. Mona, that's Spim.

Too bad we never see you around anymore.

We just went to the China Buffet.

Oh, that's fancy.

So I still need that $36.18.

Are you charging me for gas?

This is a gas station where people buy gas.

See those prices above the pump?

That's what gas costs.

Don't talk to me like I'm three.

Fine, I'll take to you like you're $36.18,

'cause that's what you owe me.

What is this? Is this about the other night?

It's about a few things.

You're out of the loop, Adam.

Don't work anywhere, you provide nothing.

Why should I risk getting fired just to hook you up?

What's in it for me?

We don't have the money.

Then, I can't let you leave.

-Now, what do I owe you? -$36.18.

MOM HARRIS: $36 and 18 cents. Did you fill the tank?

I'm so sorry about this happening.

I borrowed some money. You wanna go get some dessert?

I'm actually really beat.

Can you get a ride with your mom?

Yeah, sure.

I'll see you around.

Cool.

[CAR STARTS]

[CLEARS THROAT]

WOMAN: Don, can I get a price check on 2?

DON: All right. Here's your change.

-Thank you. -Thank you.

Hey, Greek. Want a ride?

Yeah.

Let's go.

Thanks, man. Next time you come in,

dinner's on the house.

Sure thing.

Of course, it's not like it costs you anything.

Did you forget where I live?

You're supposed to make a left there.

You know what makes a good cop?

Resources.

You gotta have lots of resources.

You know, TJ Buck works at the DMV now?

Good for him. Where are we going?

So I'm out of the loop, huh?

That's what Spim said.

You guy's think I'm out of the loop.

Adam, what the hell are you doing?

My job.

Hey, man, how you doing?

Great. Do I know you?

WOMAN: Hi!

Hi.

Hon, can I get your friends a drink?

ADAM: No. no. We're not friends.

Your husband here hit my friend's car with his door.

And then he sped off recklessly.

MAN: Really?

What are you, a cop or something?

I'm like a cop.

Yeah, right.

Look, I got a lot of shit I gotta do here today, all right?

So why don't you get back in your mommy's car,

go home before you get hurt?

I don't think so, man.

You don't think so?

Well, maybe I can help.

Your tattoos don't scare me, sir.

-[WOMAN SCREAMS] -Oh, Jesus Christ!

You bitch, little motherfucker

I'm calling the fucking cops!

This is what happens when you're an asshole in my town.

GEORGE: You know what, Adam? I'll walk.

You tell them, Greek.

Tell the others.

I serve a function. I'm in the loop.

Greek was the town cry-baby.

He'd tell the others and they could decide if they wanted to be

a part of the solution or a part of the problem.

God knows Bickleton had enough problems.

[MEN TALKING INDISTINCTLY]

...any hydroponics, I only want organic.

I don't want no pharmaceutical industry.

I don't want it.

No, I know. I know.

MOM HARRIS: Adam! Telephone.

[EXHALES]

Thanks for coming with me.

Sure.

MONA: I so don't wanna come back for the trial.

The thought of seeing his face again

makes me sick to my stomach.

ADAM: Don't worry, I'll be there with you.

MONA: The thing is that I sometimes don't believe

that it actually happened to me,

you know?

It kind of seems so distant to me and so hazy,

that I would swear to you that it's just a dream.

A really,

realistic dream.

And then afterward, I get to be the victim.

I'll always be that girl.

It's not what people think about you.

Not people who love you.

[WOMAN SCREAMING]

That's my purse!

Stop him. Somebody stop him!

[HORN HONKING, TIRES SCREECH]

[PANTING]

Hey!

Drop the purse.

Everything's okay.

I'm a Good Samaritan.

There's your purse.

[POLICE SIRENS WAILING IN DISTANCE]

[RAIN PATTERING]

There are casualties in every war.

My grandfather's war, my father's war,

and now, my war.

[THUNDER RUMBLING]

JOHN: Great country we got.

Really knows how to treat it's heroes.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGING]

Come closer.

I'm serious, take two more steps.

What the fuck are you looking at him for?

I got what you want.

What are you afraid I'm gonna hurt you?

If I wanted to hurt you, you'd already be hurt.

Son, I'm here every day, all right?

Why do you want us to go there?

VIC: Because if I'm less than 1,000 feet of a school,

I could spend an extra five years in jail, fucktard.

Come here.

What do you need?

Two dime bags.

Yeah. That's $20. Simple.

Here.

Go away.

BOY: Looks pretty good.

I know. It feels good.

Son, walk away.

Oh, there she is. Hey, sweetheart.

All right, come here. Let me see that.

I love the outfit.

Here, turn around.

Show me that ass.

You're gonna wear that for me tonight?

GIRL: You know me.

I'm gonna fuck the living daylights out of you, girl.

ADAM: What's up, man?

Oh, what's up, son?

Thought you might like to hang out with

someone your own age for once.

Yeah.

Hey, kids, get lost.

Go do your homework. Stay in school.

You don't owe me any money.

No, I don't owe you anything.

No, I ain't asking, I'm saying.

You don't owe me, which is bad for me.

Everybody's got a price. Everybody's got a vice.

What do you need? I got radar detectors,

I got cell phones.

Don't you smoke weed?

I did.

But I never bought any.

Oh, you're one of those guys.

Yeah.

Hey, I heard you like hookers.

There's a motel in Jersey City.

They run a brothel out of the rooms. I can get you in.

No, thanks.

Okay.

We need to talk.

Yeah.

I want you to quit dealing.

Son,

when you can buy weed in Wal-Mart

is when I'll stop.

No, no, no. I'm serious.

I mean, dealing drugs is not cool,

especially with these kids, you know?

I think it would be in your best interest to stop.

Do you know who my father was?

He was a bookie two towns over.

He had this one asshole customer.

The guy must have lost 30 large on some of the dumbest bets

ever made in the history of dumb bets.

Nobody told him to make these bets

or to bet as much as he did.

But, like the fucking asshole he was, he kept doing it.

And instead of paying up like a man,

he shot my father in the chest, nine times.

I watched my father die

out in the middle of the street in front of my house.

That ain't right neither.

But fuck these people.

And fuck you.

[ADAM SIGHS]

[JOHN CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

I'd stay out of the city,

if I were this guy.

That's okay.

I didn't need to go back to the city.

I had unfinished business right here at home.

[PEOPLE TALKING INDISTINCTLY]

[HIP HOP MUSIC PLAYING]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

Yo, Adam!

What's the deal, baby?

Your boys are here.

You fucks make up yet?

ADAM: Where's Vic?

I don't know.

He's around here somewhere.

Yo, man.

You all right?

ADAM: Ask my kids in 20 years.

GEORGE: All right. You're up. Enough. Enough.

Give it to me.

DON: Hey, watch this. GEORGE: Shit.

Fucker.

Wow, what a great party.

Listen guys,

come on, we've been friends since we were kids.

I need your help.

Yeah, you do need help.

Look...

this is what I've been doing.

Is this asshole supposed to be you?

I told you!

He snapped.

DON: what? Are we supposed to think that's cool or some shit?

Huh?

Look...

I know you guys like Vic,

but he's bad news.

He sells drugs to kids.

He's ruining our town.

I say that we take him down tonight.

[DON SCOFFS]

Okay, yeah. I see.

Yeah, I should've figured as much.

Worthless fucks.

Bitch!

ADAM: Vic!

[SHOUTS] Vic!

Yo! Who the fuck's calling my name?

ADAM: I'm taking you out.

What's that, son?

I'm taking you out.

I'm sorry, sweetie, I only dig chicks.

[ALL LAUGHING]

What, are you scared?

Yeah, I'm fucking scared.

I'm scared I'm gonna fucking kill you

and spend the rest of my life in jail.

Bitch!

Fucking pussy!

What the fuck did you just say to me?

CROWD: Whoa!

You heard me.

You fucking pussy!

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

All right, you wanna go? Let's go.

-Go! -Dudes!

-[MAN WHOOPS] -Not in my house. Get outside.

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]

[CROWD CHEERING]

Yo son, you wanna put money on this?

This isn't about money.

[VIC CHUCKLES]

You want a shot at the title?

Taekwondo. Three years.

[WHOOPING AND SHOUTING]

Purple belt.

I was in the 11th percentile.

VIC: Yo, back up.

Back up.

Yo, back the fuck up!

Jesus Christ.

All right. Let's go, hippie.

Come on.

[MARTIAL ARTS YELL, CHUCKLES]

[WHOOPING]

VIC: Make a move. Make a move.

-[ADAM LANDS PUNCH] -[VIC CRIES OUT]

[CROWD CHEERING]

MAN: Good going.

VIC: All right. All right.

Enough!

That's enough!

[MAN LAUGHS]

VIC: All right. That's enough.

Enough, enough!

Enough!

VIC: Ah!

All right. Either, get in my house

-or get the fuck outta here. -[VIC LAUGHING]

-I'm not kidding. Let's go. -[VIC LAUGHING]

Come on.

VIC: [LAUGHING] Oh, kid!

All this time, I've been asking...

Why do bad things happen to good people?

Because we let them!

Asshole!

VIC: Yo, shut the fuck up.

What the fuck are you talking about?

You're fucking psychiatric.

VIC: What, you just saved the world, hero?

Let me tell you something. You didn't save shit.

You think I'm a bad person?

If anything, I provide a service.

Let me tell you something. This whole town needs me.

Your dad needs me.

You're the one that's out of the loop, kid.

You wanna save someone? Save yourself.

Dick.

He's a hitter. He's a hitter.

I wish this town was in Kansas, so

a tornado could just come and blow the whole place away.

MONA: Why?

It's not...

all bad.

Oh, yeah? Name one good thing.

No, you don't even really know me.

I could tell you some stories.

Believe me.

You inspire me, Adam.

The way you take life just a day at a time.

Playing the hand you're dealt.

You never complain.

Change things about yourself that you don't like.

Move on from things you can't control.

You're stronger than you know.

Stronger than me.

And you're right.

I can't let what happened dictate my life.

I mean, I was a victim,

but...

It's not all I am.

I was thinking the other day...

I was [CHUCKLING] writing in my journal...

how people are like plants.

How sometimes they can get too much sun,

or too much shade,

or too much rain.

They can get...

pulled up...

cut down...

trampled.

But that's when a gardener needs to come in,

to set things right.

Even in the worst of circumstances,

something good can grow.

You inspire me, too.

Ever since our first night together.

What's this?

Huh?

I decided to go back to college.

That's terrific, Adam.

[MONA CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

I'm really happy for you.

[BELL TOLLING]

MAN: I know you need a flyer, buddy.

Raging kegger tonight, biggest in Kansas State history.

Ah... Sorry, I'm going to New Jersey tonight.

Oh, yeah? To see the fam or the girlie? [CHUCKLES]

And my friend's rape trial starts tomorrow.

Oh.

Well, I...

Maybe next time.

See ya.

[DETECTOR BEEPING]

[DETECTOR BEEPS]

[DETECTOR BEEPING]

[FLUSHES TOILET]

Excuse me, sir.

-[GUNSHOT] -[PEOPLE SCREAMING]

OFFICER: Come on!

I love you, sweetheart. Daddy loves you so much.

You're my precious angel.

You're safe. You're safe.

Why do bad things happen to good people?

When they do...

who's gonna be there to make things right?

I'll be there.