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1
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Come on.
2
00:03:57,330 --> 00:03:59,468
Where are you?
3
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Oh, good cat.
4
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Here we go.
5
00:04:28,797 --> 00:04:30,968
Mildred, do you want something to eat?
6
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Mum, be quiet.
7
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What, I can't hear you?
8
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Can you make me some toast?
9
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Sure.
10
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And I know just how you like them.
11
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Razor-sharp triangles, no crusts?
12
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Yeah, that's right.
13
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One more thing, Mildred.
14
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What? I'm in the middle of something here.
15
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What are the magic words?
16
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Please.
17
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Well, that's a magic word, singular.
18
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I want the magic words, plural.
19
00:05:01,462 --> 00:05:04,133
Mum, I'm trying to catch Jonesie
20
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in an intricate home-made trap.
21
00:05:06,003 --> 00:05:07,302
Can this wait?
22
00:05:07,338 --> 00:05:09,132
Sorry, why in the name of buggery
23
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are you trying to catch our poor, sweet, innocent cat?
24
00:05:11,010 --> 00:05:13,801
-Practice. - For?
25
00:05:13,837 --> 00:05:15,345
For the Panthera Pardus
26
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that's been haunting our wilderness, of late.
27
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You may know him by his nom de plume,
28
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The Canterbury Panther.
29
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Panthera Pardus, nom de...
30
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- Nom de plume. - Nom de plume.
31
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You sure do know a crap ton of words,
32
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don't you, my girl?
33
00:05:27,985 --> 00:05:30,426
I'm a card-carrying bookworm, so...
34
00:05:30,461 --> 00:05:33,455
Yes, I sure do know a crap ton of words.
35
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Mmm...
36
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But do you know the magic words?
37
00:05:37,032 --> 00:05:39,036
Mum!
38
00:05:39,071 --> 00:05:40,502
Oh, come on, just say them,
39
00:05:40,537 --> 00:05:42,066
and I'll go and get your toast triangles.
40
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I... love... you.
41
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Go on...
42
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With... all...
43
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of my...
44
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heart.
45
00:06:01,092 --> 00:06:02,552
Was that so difficult?
46
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Yes, actually, yes.
47
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It was.
48
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- Ha!
49
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Yes, there we go, puss.
50
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That's it.
51
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Yes.
52
00:06:23,113 --> 00:06:24,647
Come on, Jonesie.
53
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And...
54
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Dinner is served.
55
00:06:40,964 --> 00:06:42,225
Ah!
56
00:06:44,730 --> 00:06:46,504
-Jonesie?
57
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Psh.
58
00:06:49,203 --> 00:06:50,508
Great!
59
00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:53,676
Mum?
60
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If you sneak up on me again, I will pee myself.
61
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And you're gonna have to clean it up.
62
00:07:15,196 --> 00:07:16,226
Mum?
63
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Mum?
64
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- Mum!
65
00:07:35,281 --> 00:07:39,150
I have some good news, and I have some bad news.
66
00:07:40,857 --> 00:07:43,918
The bad news is you're gonna need a new toaster.
67
00:07:43,953 --> 00:07:45,255
Okay, that one's kaput.
68
00:07:46,356 --> 00:07:48,390
The good news is you're not gonna need a new mum.
69
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Yay.
70
00:07:51,401 --> 00:07:53,603
Hey, your toaster exploded.
71
00:07:53,639 --> 00:07:55,139
I don't know what the odds are of that happening.
72
00:07:55,174 --> 00:07:57,341
But you know the button you push
73
00:07:57,376 --> 00:07:59,671
when you start the toasting process?
74
00:07:59,706 --> 00:08:01,007
Well, that button was faulty.
75
00:08:02,381 --> 00:08:03,675
And it gave your mum quite the shock,
76
00:08:03,710 --> 00:08:06,111
her body went all... jelly-like,
77
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and she flew backwards, and then her head hit the bench,
78
00:08:08,649 --> 00:08:10,051
and then she fell into a coma.
79
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A coma?
80
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Yeah, well, she's not dead.
81
00:08:12,950 --> 00:08:14,490
Okay, so don't worry about that.
82
00:08:14,525 --> 00:08:16,461
But she's not fully alive, either.
83
00:08:16,496 --> 00:08:18,722
She's in this wonderful dreamlike netherworld.
84
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I know what a coma is.
85
00:08:20,494 --> 00:08:22,298
Will she be okay?
86
00:08:22,334 --> 00:08:23,461
Well, you listen to me carefully,
87
00:08:23,497 --> 00:08:24,701
okay, Mildred?
88
00:08:26,331 --> 00:08:28,573
I'm not talking to you as a doctor would to a child.
89
00:08:30,210 --> 00:08:31,840
Alright? I'm talking this soul...
90
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to soul.
91
00:08:34,510 --> 00:08:36,344
Will she be okay, yes or no?
92
00:08:36,379 --> 00:08:39,042
Well ye-- . Yes.
93
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But she has what's called a brain bleed.
94
00:08:40,487 --> 00:08:42,052
Okay? So we're gonna need to keep her in here
95
00:08:42,088 --> 00:08:43,549
for at least a week,
96
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until she stabilizes.
97
00:08:44,648 --> 00:08:45,689
A week?
98
00:08:47,187 --> 00:08:49,720
No-- She was supposed to take me camping tomorrow.
99
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I had it all worked out.
100
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She finally took some time off work. She promised.
101
00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:55,362
The camping's gonna have to wait,
102
00:08:55,398 --> 00:08:56,958
I'm afraid, Mildred.
103
00:08:56,993 --> 00:08:59,036
But first things first.
104
00:08:59,071 --> 00:09:00,429
Where's your dad?
105
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:06,308
Hello.
106
00:09:06,343 --> 00:09:08,377
I'm Strawn. Strawn Wise.
107
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Mildred's biological father.
108
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The magician.
109
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Illusionist.
110
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Magician sounds...
111
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cheap.
112
00:09:31,371 --> 00:09:33,462
-Can I come in? -Can I see some ID?
113
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Yeah. It stands for Identification Document.
114
00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:42,170
I would love to show you some ID, but there's a problem.
115
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You see, you actually have it.
116
00:09:45,749 --> 00:09:47,245
-I have it? - That's right.
117
00:09:48,451 --> 00:09:49,847
What'd ya mean, mate?
118
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You have my ID.
119
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I do? Where?
120
00:09:52,353 --> 00:09:54,989
Just...
121
00:10:01,826 --> 00:10:03,295
I have to say.
122
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Normally, I find magicians skin-crawlingly embarrassing,
123
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but you're actually half decent.
124
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Access granted.
125
00:10:15,845 --> 00:10:18,116
Oh, look, mate, just so you know,
126
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I didn't hug the girl.
127
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Even though Lord knows she needs one.
128
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:22,945
I'm sorry, what?
129
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Your daughter.
130
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I specifically didn't hug her.
131
00:10:26,189 --> 00:10:27,789
Why?
132
00:10:27,824 --> 00:10:30,557
I've heard so many horror stories, okay?
133
00:10:30,592 --> 00:10:32,126
You can't be too careful
134
00:10:32,161 --> 00:10:33,824
with other people's kids these days... Touching them and...
135
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Even hugs are a no-go.
136
00:10:36,235 --> 00:10:37,493
Yeah, I... I guess so.
137
00:10:39,297 --> 00:10:41,495
Right. I'm off. Take care of the girl.
138
00:10:41,531 --> 00:10:44,070
She's in there, glued to a book, as always.
139
00:10:44,106 --> 00:10:46,375
I'm next door on the right if you need anything.
140
00:10:46,410 --> 00:10:48,210
-Yeah, thanks. -Okay.
141
00:10:48,246 --> 00:10:49,846
-Hmm? -No.
142
00:10:57,985 --> 00:11:00,417
Mildred, it's me. Strawn. Your dad.
143
00:11:01,351 --> 00:11:02,953
I just flew halfway across the world
144
00:11:02,988 --> 00:11:04,586
to be with you, little lady.
145
00:11:04,621 --> 00:11:07,592
And I'm sorry about your mom, but she's gonna be okay.
146
00:11:07,628 --> 00:11:08,964
It's official.
147
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A licensed medical professional has officially told you
148
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she's officially going to be okay?
149
00:11:16,575 --> 00:11:17,835
Is that what you mean by "official"?
150
00:11:17,870 --> 00:11:19,876
Well... no, I... I mean,
151
00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:24,113
she's gonna be okay.
152
00:11:24,148 --> 00:11:26,017
I'm sure.
153
00:11:26,052 --> 00:11:27,081
Pretty sure.
154
00:11:32,757 --> 00:11:36,189
Hey, do you want to see something amazing?
155
00:11:38,093 --> 00:11:42,327
I said, do you want to see something amazing?
156
00:11:44,303 --> 00:11:45,663
Will it take a long time?
157
00:11:45,699 --> 00:11:48,833
-No. -Fine.
158
00:11:48,869 --> 00:11:50,434
Show me something amazing.
159
00:12:00,077 --> 00:12:02,215
Go on. Pick a card.
160
00:12:04,619 --> 00:12:06,114
Now, look at it.
161
00:12:06,149 --> 00:12:07,489
Don't tell me what it is.
162
00:12:07,524 --> 00:12:08,826
Put it back in the deck.
163
00:12:17,498 --> 00:12:18,693
Alright.
164
00:12:20,404 --> 00:12:21,532
Is this your card?
165
00:12:21,568 --> 00:12:23,670
No.
166
00:12:23,705 --> 00:12:25,541
Sorry.
167
00:12:25,577 --> 00:12:27,340
It sounded like you said, "No."
168
00:12:27,375 --> 00:12:30,905
It sounded like I said no because I did indeed say, "No."
169
00:12:30,940 --> 00:12:32,784
Okay.
170
00:12:36,887 --> 00:12:38,749
-Is this your card? -I'm afraid it's not.
171
00:12:38,785 --> 00:12:39,989
Okay.
172
00:12:42,019 --> 00:12:43,091
Is that your card?
173
00:12:44,454 --> 00:12:47,227
I can lie and say, "Yes," if it helps.
174
00:12:49,227 --> 00:12:51,335
-This? - No. Sorry.
175
00:12:51,370 --> 00:12:52,634
-This? - No.
176
00:12:52,669 --> 00:12:54,305
-This? -Look, it's okay--
177
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-God damn it. -Wait!
178
00:13:00,375 --> 00:13:04,310
Now... Kindly, remove your jaw from the floor and tell me.
179
00:13:06,110 --> 00:13:07,709
Is that your card?
180
00:13:09,388 --> 00:13:11,822
Right.
181
00:13:11,858 --> 00:13:15,756
Before I get to whether that is or isn't my card,
182
00:13:15,791 --> 00:13:17,521
lemme get one thing straight.
183
00:13:19,023 --> 00:13:20,497
Yeah. What's that?
184
00:13:20,532 --> 00:13:21,798
Am I right in assuming
185
00:13:21,833 --> 00:13:23,500
that you snuck around to the back garden
186
00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:25,365
to glue that card to the window
187
00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:27,798
before scrambling back around to ring the front doorbell?
188
00:13:27,834 --> 00:13:28,900
No.
189
00:13:28,936 --> 00:13:31,342
It's... It's called magic.
190
00:13:31,377 --> 00:13:32,871
I use the power of magic.
191
00:13:32,906 --> 00:13:36,078
Did you or did you not?
192
00:13:38,310 --> 00:13:40,212
Come on. I won't be angry with you.
193
00:13:40,247 --> 00:13:43,382
I just... want you to tell me the truth.
194
00:13:48,461 --> 00:13:50,460
Fine. Yeah, uh, yeah, okay.
195
00:13:50,495 --> 00:13:53,427
But that is your card.
196
00:13:53,462 --> 00:13:54,866
Right?
197
00:13:57,730 --> 00:13:58,793
Wrong.
198
00:13:59,899 --> 00:14:01,596
It is your card.
199
00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:05,234
-It... is... not... my... card.
200
00:14:05,269 --> 00:14:06,669
-Of course, it is. -Fine.
201
00:14:07,875 --> 00:14:09,812
I give up. It's my card.
202
00:14:09,848 --> 00:14:12,746
Bravo, well done. Spectacular magic trick.
203
00:14:12,781 --> 00:14:14,248
Are you being sarcastic?
204
00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:16,921
Hm.
205
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:22,756
Um, how about you show me your room?
206
00:14:29,700 --> 00:14:30,798
I can't say I spend much time
207
00:14:30,834 --> 00:14:32,195
in 11-year-old girls' bedrooms,
208
00:14:32,231 --> 00:14:35,031
but this isn't what I expected.
209
00:14:35,067 --> 00:14:37,066
What did you expect?
210
00:14:37,101 --> 00:14:39,140
A pink doll house?
211
00:14:39,176 --> 00:14:44,511
Pictures of palaces and unicorns and princesses?
212
00:14:44,547 --> 00:14:45,884
Basically.
213
00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:49,444
What was on your walls when you were 11?
214
00:14:49,480 --> 00:14:52,415
A lot of David Copperfield posters.
215
00:14:52,451 --> 00:14:54,987
You like David Copperfield?
216
00:14:55,023 --> 00:14:56,952
Like? More like love.
217
00:14:56,987 --> 00:14:59,126
Same.
218
00:14:59,161 --> 00:15:01,260
I'm borderline obsessed to tell the truth.
219
00:15:01,295 --> 00:15:03,360
David Copperfield was my life growing up.
220
00:15:03,395 --> 00:15:07,136
Okay. So, we have something in common.
221
00:15:08,166 --> 00:15:09,305
It is a good start.
222
00:15:09,340 --> 00:15:11,001
Yeah.
223
00:15:11,036 --> 00:15:12,736
Really good start.
224
00:15:12,772 --> 00:15:14,946
What are the odds of us having the exact same favorite book?
225
00:15:16,615 --> 00:15:19,742
Oh, no. I... I'm talking about
226
00:15:19,777 --> 00:15:23,548
David Copperfield, the illusionist from the 1990s?
227
00:15:25,290 --> 00:15:27,087
Oh.
228
00:15:27,122 --> 00:15:29,717
I am talking about David Copperfield,
229
00:15:29,752 --> 00:15:34,064
the Charles Dickens novel from the 1840s.
230
00:15:35,194 --> 00:15:38,098
Oh, I don't know what that is.
231
00:15:38,133 --> 00:15:39,295
Guess we don't have
232
00:15:39,330 --> 00:15:40,796
anything in common, after all.
233
00:15:58,291 --> 00:15:59,320
What's this?
234
00:16:00,523 --> 00:16:02,251
This...
235
00:16:02,287 --> 00:16:03,652
is the Canterbury Panther.
236
00:16:03,687 --> 00:16:07,160
You could say it's our version of Bigfoot.
237
00:16:07,195 --> 00:16:08,590
There's been sightings for decades,
238
00:16:08,626 --> 00:16:11,162
but no one's ever caught definitive proof.
239
00:16:11,197 --> 00:16:12,760
So, they're offering 50,000
240
00:16:12,795 --> 00:16:16,005
for actual video evidence of its existence.
241
00:16:16,041 --> 00:16:18,199
I... I don't really know New Zealand money yet.
242
00:16:18,235 --> 00:16:20,071
Is that a lot?
243
00:16:20,106 --> 00:16:22,704
Yes. It's a lot of money.
244
00:16:22,740 --> 00:16:25,984
Money Mum and I could really use right now.
245
00:16:33,290 --> 00:16:35,290
She was supposed to take me camping to search for it.
246
00:16:36,856 --> 00:16:38,757
Oh, well.
247
00:16:38,792 --> 00:16:39,822
I mean...
248
00:16:41,193 --> 00:16:42,963
I could take you. Maybe?
249
00:16:45,997 --> 00:16:47,038
Really?
250
00:16:48,241 --> 00:16:49,734
Sure.
251
00:16:49,769 --> 00:16:52,505
Might help to take your mind off of everything with your mum.
252
00:16:52,540 --> 00:16:55,211
I mean, I don't know the first thing about camping.
253
00:16:55,246 --> 00:16:58,382
I've never been, but, you know, maybe we could go.
254
00:16:58,418 --> 00:17:00,414
Just... quickly?
255
00:17:01,751 --> 00:17:03,153
Are you sure?
256
00:17:17,530 --> 00:17:20,872
Ah, you know, now that I think of it,
257
00:17:20,907 --> 00:17:22,535
I... I don't think it's such a good idea.
258
00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:25,835
We leave at first light.
259
00:17:27,877 --> 00:17:28,908
Mm-hmm.
260
00:18:02,244 --> 00:18:04,775
Hey, stick with me. It'll be fine.
261
00:18:07,712 --> 00:18:09,450
You know where you're going, right?
262
00:18:28,607 --> 00:18:29,566
Hey!
263
00:18:33,842 --> 00:18:34,973
Hello!
264
00:18:35,009 --> 00:18:36,142
Hey there!
265
00:18:40,584 --> 00:18:41,614
Hey!
266
00:18:42,653 --> 00:18:43,785
I know you.
267
00:18:43,821 --> 00:18:45,886
You're Strawn Wise.
268
00:18:45,922 --> 00:18:48,223
The magician, right?
269
00:18:48,259 --> 00:18:50,661
-Illusionist. But, yes.
270
00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:52,361
I just knew it was you.
271
00:18:53,823 --> 00:18:55,856
And who's this cute little nipper?
272
00:18:55,892 --> 00:18:58,197
That is my biological daughter, Mildred.
273
00:18:58,232 --> 00:19:00,061
Biological daughter. Is she?
274
00:19:01,499 --> 00:19:03,498
Hi there, Mildred. I'm Reginald.
275
00:19:03,533 --> 00:19:04,769
You look like a Reginald.
276
00:19:05,843 --> 00:19:07,342
That name suits you.
277
00:19:07,377 --> 00:19:09,378
You have a perfect name-to-face correspondence.
278
00:19:15,054 --> 00:19:16,685
I used to watch your show on the telly.
279
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:18,889
Oh! Thanks.
280
00:19:18,925 --> 00:19:20,453
Thank you. That really means a lot.
281
00:19:20,489 --> 00:19:22,055
Yeah. I used to watch after my night shift.
282
00:19:22,090 --> 00:19:23,587
It was on at 4:00 am.
283
00:19:23,623 --> 00:19:25,296
Real prime-time stuff, then.
284
00:19:25,331 --> 00:19:27,929
It's such a shame we don't get it here anymore.
285
00:19:27,964 --> 00:19:30,692
Nobody gets it anymore.
286
00:19:30,727 --> 00:19:32,636
-What? -It's no longer running
287
00:19:32,671 --> 00:19:34,128
here or anywhere.
288
00:19:35,432 --> 00:19:36,734
It was cancelled.
289
00:19:36,770 --> 00:19:39,637
Halfway through the first season, actually, so...
290
00:19:39,672 --> 00:19:42,038
Yeah, I... I don't have a show anymore.
291
00:19:42,074 --> 00:19:43,104
Oh.
292
00:19:44,211 --> 00:19:45,577
I guess the other guy
293
00:19:45,612 --> 00:19:47,244
sort of hijacked the spotlight a little bit.
294
00:19:47,280 --> 00:19:48,384
Is that fair to say?
295
00:19:50,479 --> 00:19:51,755
Who? David?
296
00:19:51,790 --> 00:19:53,416
Yeah, yeah.
297
00:19:53,451 --> 00:19:54,719
Never liked him, myself.
298
00:19:54,754 --> 00:19:57,053
Seamed up his own arse, from the looks of it.
299
00:19:57,089 --> 00:19:58,491
Oh.
300
00:19:58,526 --> 00:20:00,726
Thank you. That's very kind of you to say.
301
00:20:04,066 --> 00:20:05,731
Can you still levitate?
302
00:20:06,796 --> 00:20:07,997
I certainly can.
303
00:20:09,039 --> 00:20:10,065
What are you waiting for? Go on.
304
00:20:12,172 --> 00:20:13,873
What?
305
00:20:13,909 --> 00:20:15,411
Now? Here?
306
00:20:16,815 --> 00:20:18,716
Yeah! Go on, Strawn.
307
00:20:18,751 --> 00:20:20,075
Levitate for an old fan.
308
00:20:24,750 --> 00:20:27,248
Is levitation a lengthy process?
309
00:20:27,284 --> 00:20:31,254
I'm asking because we've got a lot of ground to cover today.
310
00:20:31,290 --> 00:20:32,329
Okay!
311
00:20:39,634 --> 00:20:44,199
I can feel the power, specifically in my feet.
312
00:20:44,234 --> 00:20:48,037
I'm talking about the power of levitation, specifically.
313
00:20:57,281 --> 00:20:58,454
Oh.
314
00:20:59,989 --> 00:21:01,485
Oh, that's mad.
315
00:21:01,521 --> 00:21:03,456
Ah, is this actually happening?
316
00:21:03,492 --> 00:21:06,860
I don't-- He's actually bloody levitating.
317
00:21:06,895 --> 00:21:08,028
Yeah, no.
318
00:21:08,064 --> 00:21:09,194
He's not levitating.
319
00:21:09,229 --> 00:21:10,795
What do you mean?
320
00:21:10,831 --> 00:21:12,994
He's put all his weight on the ball of one foot
321
00:21:13,029 --> 00:21:15,502
while lifting both heels off the ground,
322
00:21:15,538 --> 00:21:17,874
thus creating the illusion of levitation
323
00:21:17,909 --> 00:21:19,167
from your vantage point.
324
00:21:22,576 --> 00:21:24,381
Oh, yeah. You were right.
325
00:21:27,247 --> 00:21:28,679
Cheers, Strawn.
326
00:21:28,714 --> 00:21:30,217
Cheers for single-handedly destroying
327
00:21:30,252 --> 00:21:31,448
my belief in the power of magic.
328
00:21:31,483 --> 00:21:33,115
Much appreciated, bruv.
329
00:21:36,092 --> 00:21:37,856
Do you want an autograph?
330
00:21:40,292 --> 00:21:41,497
Yeah, go on.
331
00:21:55,444 --> 00:21:57,343
You didn't have to, you know,
332
00:21:57,378 --> 00:21:59,612
shatter the illusion back there.
333
00:21:59,648 --> 00:22:02,248
You were conning him with fake magic.
334
00:22:02,283 --> 00:22:03,953
It was painful to watch.
335
00:22:03,988 --> 00:22:05,586
What?
336
00:22:05,621 --> 00:22:07,391
You'll have to pardon my bluntness.
337
00:22:07,427 --> 00:22:09,788
I'm what's commonly referred to as a "brutal realist".
338
00:22:09,823 --> 00:22:11,392
A brutal realist who actually believes
339
00:22:11,427 --> 00:22:13,527
there's a real giant panther out here.
340
00:22:13,563 --> 00:22:16,365
Panthers exist. Levitation doesn't.
341
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:18,061
That's the long and short of it, I'm afraid.
342
00:22:25,009 --> 00:22:26,036
Keep going.
343
00:22:28,606 --> 00:22:29,677
Peanut butter and jelly.
344
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:31,909
What do you think?
345
00:22:31,944 --> 00:22:33,912
Old Strawn's got some sandwich-making skills?
346
00:22:35,746 --> 00:22:37,784
Must be an American delicacy.
347
00:22:40,025 --> 00:22:41,320
Can't say I'm a fan, myself,
348
00:22:41,356 --> 00:22:43,325
but calories are calories,
349
00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:45,590
and they're in short supply out here.
350
00:22:45,625 --> 00:22:47,798
You know, you don't talk like a...
351
00:22:47,834 --> 00:22:49,292
Like a normal child?
352
00:22:49,327 --> 00:22:50,597
I know.
353
00:22:50,632 --> 00:22:51,998
I wasn't going to put it that way, exactly.
354
00:22:52,034 --> 00:22:53,668
But, yeah.
355
00:22:53,703 --> 00:22:55,538
My point is, you don't have to dress everything up
356
00:22:55,573 --> 00:22:58,469
to sound more sophisticated than you are.
357
00:22:58,504 --> 00:23:00,376
Yeah, says the magician
358
00:23:00,412 --> 00:23:03,570
who insists on being called an illusionist.
359
00:23:05,442 --> 00:23:06,576
I mean--
360
00:23:18,659 --> 00:23:21,328
So, how you finding school?
361
00:23:21,363 --> 00:23:24,600
Are you having a hard time?
362
00:23:24,635 --> 00:23:27,701
Why would I be having a hard time, Strawn?
363
00:23:27,736 --> 00:23:29,671
-No, no, I didn't mean any-- -If you must know,
364
00:23:31,669 --> 00:23:32,866
I'm top of my class.
365
00:23:32,901 --> 00:23:34,335
Straight A's all the way.
366
00:23:35,776 --> 00:23:37,943
I'm captain of the netball team, and...
367
00:23:40,044 --> 00:23:42,781
believe it or not, I was officially voted
368
00:23:42,817 --> 00:23:44,511
The Most Popular Girl In School last winter.
369
00:23:44,547 --> 00:23:46,116
Wow.
370
00:23:47,954 --> 00:23:52,120
My boyfriend, Clarence, Clarence Hargreaves,
371
00:23:52,155 --> 00:23:55,328
is the dreamiest guy in the entire school.
372
00:23:55,363 --> 00:23:58,435
He looks like Hercules
373
00:23:58,471 --> 00:24:00,630
and his hair smells like apricot jam.
374
00:24:00,665 --> 00:24:03,374
A hard... "A hard time"?
375
00:24:03,409 --> 00:24:05,966
I have a hard time staying away from the place.
376
00:24:06,001 --> 00:24:07,542
School is like heaven for me,
377
00:24:07,577 --> 00:24:10,371
academically, athletically and socially.
378
00:24:13,380 --> 00:24:14,914
What, really?
379
00:24:16,053 --> 00:24:18,816
No, not really.
380
00:24:18,851 --> 00:24:21,250
I despise school, and everyone in it.
381
00:24:22,754 --> 00:24:23,986
We're hemorrhaging daylight
382
00:24:24,021 --> 00:24:25,658
faster than I'm comfortable with.
383
00:24:25,693 --> 00:24:27,157
Let's pick up the pace, shall we?
384
00:24:34,573 --> 00:24:36,235
What are the chances of a mythical panther
385
00:24:36,271 --> 00:24:37,332
popping up here?
386
00:24:52,749 --> 00:24:54,322
Jesus!
387
00:24:59,529 --> 00:25:01,028
-Do you think-- - Yes.
388
00:25:01,064 --> 00:25:02,957
Yes, I do.
389
00:25:02,993 --> 00:25:05,195
One false move out here, and...
390
00:25:06,730 --> 00:25:08,506
that could be us.
391
00:25:16,041 --> 00:25:18,510
He's here. He's here and he's watching us.
392
00:25:29,586 --> 00:25:31,290
Oh, God.
393
00:25:34,196 --> 00:25:36,325
Oh... sorry.
394
00:25:38,863 --> 00:25:40,661
Not so mythical now, is it?
395
00:25:40,696 --> 00:25:41,902
Huh-uh.
396
00:25:45,109 --> 00:25:46,170
Come on.
397
00:26:58,150 --> 00:27:00,081
Strawn!
398
00:27:00,116 --> 00:27:01,817
Strawn?
399
00:27:06,024 --> 00:27:07,224
Having fun?
400
00:27:07,259 --> 00:27:10,259
Soaking it all in, aren't we?
401
00:27:10,294 --> 00:27:11,585
Do you want me to help?
402
00:27:12,924 --> 00:27:14,489
I thought you'd never ask.
403
00:27:23,604 --> 00:27:25,068
What can I do?
404
00:27:25,103 --> 00:27:26,567
You could start a fire.
405
00:27:27,740 --> 00:27:30,005
How does one... do that?
406
00:27:30,041 --> 00:27:32,279
I'd give you a tutorial, but...
407
00:27:32,314 --> 00:27:34,014
at present,
408
00:27:34,050 --> 00:27:37,747
I'm kinda in the middle of putting up our bloody tent.
409
00:27:37,782 --> 00:27:39,587
I have an idea.
410
00:27:42,358 --> 00:27:44,094
H... How did you--
411
00:27:44,129 --> 00:27:45,753
It's called magic.
412
00:27:47,125 --> 00:27:49,029
Actually, it's called a thumb flint.
413
00:27:50,901 --> 00:27:53,528
An essential weapon in any illusionist's arsenal.
414
00:27:57,433 --> 00:28:00,172
I just realized that I only brought one.
415
00:28:11,420 --> 00:28:13,454
So...
416
00:28:13,489 --> 00:28:14,516
How's your mom doing?
417
00:28:17,661 --> 00:28:19,956
She's in an induced coma,
418
00:28:19,991 --> 00:28:22,429
hovering between life and death.
419
00:28:22,464 --> 00:28:23,831
Thanks for asking.
420
00:28:23,866 --> 00:28:27,397
No, I mean, apart from the whole coma thing.
421
00:28:29,198 --> 00:28:32,300
Just generally, how was she?
422
00:28:32,335 --> 00:28:35,378
She talks too much, works too much,
423
00:28:35,413 --> 00:28:36,706
and has terrible taste in men.
424
00:28:36,741 --> 00:28:38,606
No offense.
425
00:28:41,418 --> 00:28:42,720
She means well, though.
426
00:28:43,948 --> 00:28:45,752
She tries her best,
427
00:28:45,788 --> 00:28:48,157
but you could say she's struggling.
428
00:28:48,193 --> 00:28:50,288
I... I don't--
429
00:28:52,825 --> 00:28:55,161
Her sister, my aunt,
430
00:28:55,196 --> 00:28:58,659
is afflicted with the old, substance-abuse nonsense.
431
00:28:59,963 --> 00:29:02,000
No, it's not fair.
432
00:29:02,035 --> 00:29:04,498
It's not nonsense. It's a disease.
433
00:29:04,533 --> 00:29:08,003
Anyway, Mum took out a whole bunch of loans
434
00:29:08,038 --> 00:29:10,046
to put her through rehab.
435
00:29:10,081 --> 00:29:11,441
Now...
436
00:29:14,044 --> 00:29:15,115
She's deep in the hole.
437
00:29:16,981 --> 00:29:19,418
Fifty-thousand-deep.
438
00:29:19,453 --> 00:29:21,120
Jesus.
439
00:29:21,156 --> 00:29:23,660
Why'd you think I'm on the hunt for this panther?
440
00:29:23,695 --> 00:29:26,296
The reward is 50k, for a video of the thing.
441
00:29:26,331 --> 00:29:28,089
Problem solved, right?
442
00:29:28,124 --> 00:29:29,358
Mum will be off the hook
443
00:29:29,393 --> 00:29:32,165
and not having to juggle three stupid jobs.
444
00:29:35,867 --> 00:29:37,599
Plus, you know...
445
00:29:38,943 --> 00:29:41,537
I do really want to see a great, big, giant panther.
446
00:29:45,248 --> 00:29:46,443
Mm.
447
00:29:47,415 --> 00:29:48,445
Right.
448
00:29:49,712 --> 00:29:52,988
I don't know about you, but I am bloody zonked.
449
00:29:57,988 --> 00:30:00,362
Before we go in,
450
00:30:00,398 --> 00:30:02,594
can I make one thing
451
00:30:02,630 --> 00:30:04,200
perfectly clear?
452
00:30:04,235 --> 00:30:05,800
What's that?
453
00:30:05,836 --> 00:30:09,304
I know you have a belly full of beans.
454
00:30:09,340 --> 00:30:11,637
But this tent...
455
00:30:11,673 --> 00:30:13,373
is a fart-free zone.
456
00:30:13,408 --> 00:30:14,803
Clear?
457
00:30:14,838 --> 00:30:16,506
Clear.
458
00:30:20,282 --> 00:30:22,611
I'm sorry things never worked out with your mom.
459
00:30:25,349 --> 00:30:27,616
I did ask her to stay with me in Vegas
460
00:30:29,692 --> 00:30:30,784
when she told me she was...
461
00:30:32,923 --> 00:30:34,530
When you...
462
00:30:34,565 --> 00:30:36,130
When she was pregnant, you know.
463
00:30:37,466 --> 00:30:39,161
I did offer,
464
00:30:39,197 --> 00:30:41,696
but... she wanted to stay here.
465
00:30:44,734 --> 00:30:46,805
I don't want you to think that I... I didn't want you
466
00:30:46,840 --> 00:30:48,871
or anything like that.
467
00:30:48,906 --> 00:30:50,243
It's just...
468
00:30:52,283 --> 00:30:53,576
It's a lot.
469
00:30:59,523 --> 00:31:01,589
I only met your mom once,
470
00:31:01,624 --> 00:31:04,026
for a couple of hours.
471
00:31:09,359 --> 00:31:11,000
It's such a complicated situation.
472
00:31:16,532 --> 00:31:19,107
You're not the average child, so...
473
00:31:20,610 --> 00:31:22,044
I feel like I can say...
474
00:31:34,756 --> 00:31:35,783
Good night, Mildred.
475
00:31:43,327 --> 00:31:45,632
You're not really asleep, are you?
476
00:31:45,668 --> 00:31:46,827
Good night, Strawn.
477
00:31:59,285 --> 00:32:00,808
I'm so sorry.
478
00:32:29,271 --> 00:32:30,475
Hm...
479
00:32:32,415 --> 00:32:33,416
Jesus.
480
00:32:33,451 --> 00:32:34,776
What? What is it?
481
00:32:35,817 --> 00:32:37,383
I heard a creepy sound.
482
00:32:38,490 --> 00:32:40,589
Am I still dreaming
483
00:32:40,624 --> 00:32:42,485
or did a 42-year-old man
484
00:32:42,520 --> 00:32:44,819
really just wake up an 11-year-old girl
485
00:32:44,854 --> 00:32:47,692
to tell her that he heard a creepy sound in the night.
486
00:32:47,728 --> 00:32:49,497
I'm sorry.
487
00:32:49,532 --> 00:32:51,434
Never mind.
488
00:32:51,469 --> 00:32:53,036
Go back to sleep.
489
00:33:19,589 --> 00:33:21,089
- Good morning, Strawn. -Yeah.
490
00:33:21,124 --> 00:33:22,959
Sleep well?
491
00:33:22,994 --> 00:33:24,129
Not really.
492
00:33:24,164 --> 00:33:26,295
My stomach feels weird and bubbly.
493
00:33:26,331 --> 00:33:28,929
I know. I'm super excited, too.
494
00:33:31,206 --> 00:33:33,373
Get some caffeine in you and let's move.
495
00:33:37,239 --> 00:33:38,279
You know...
496
00:33:39,541 --> 00:33:40,809
You can call me "Dad."
497
00:33:42,818 --> 00:33:44,087
Why would I do that?
498
00:33:45,747 --> 00:33:47,816
Most daughters call their dads "Dad."
499
00:33:47,851 --> 00:33:51,554
Most daughters see their dads more than once a decade.
500
00:33:51,589 --> 00:33:53,763
Maybe one day, you'll actually call me dad.
501
00:33:57,293 --> 00:33:58,793
And maybe one day,
502
00:33:58,829 --> 00:34:01,863
you'll actually do a magic trick that impresses me.
503
00:34:32,228 --> 00:34:33,301
What is it?
504
00:34:34,334 --> 00:34:36,038
We're gonna have to find shelter.
505
00:34:36,073 --> 00:34:38,974
It's gonna rain very heavily and very soon.
506
00:34:39,009 --> 00:34:41,237
What? The sky looks fine.
507
00:34:41,272 --> 00:34:42,343
What's missing?
508
00:34:43,410 --> 00:34:46,216
- Clouds? - Birds, Strawn.
509
00:34:46,251 --> 00:34:48,646
They make themselves scarce before a good old downpour.
510
00:34:49,778 --> 00:34:52,879
I think you're mistaken.
511
00:34:52,915 --> 00:34:55,788
I'm pretty confident that it's not gonna rain.
512
00:35:00,657 --> 00:35:02,655
So, do you go camping a lot?
513
00:35:02,690 --> 00:35:04,467
This is my first time.
514
00:35:04,503 --> 00:35:06,001
What?
515
00:35:06,036 --> 00:35:07,330
I've always asked Mum to take me,
516
00:35:07,365 --> 00:35:08,930
but, you know what she's like.
517
00:35:10,873 --> 00:35:11,900
Actually, you don't.
518
00:35:13,510 --> 00:35:14,606
I forgot.
519
00:35:19,984 --> 00:35:21,481
She's got me wrapped in cotton wool.
520
00:35:23,148 --> 00:35:24,220
And bubble wrap.
521
00:35:26,188 --> 00:35:28,158
Barely even lets me play in the backyard.
522
00:35:29,423 --> 00:35:31,491
Still wants to walk me to school, you know.
523
00:35:31,526 --> 00:35:34,725
Does wonders for my social life, as you can imagine.
524
00:35:38,033 --> 00:35:40,467
Does she ever talk about me...
525
00:35:41,937 --> 00:35:43,363
Why would she do that?
526
00:36:01,353 --> 00:36:03,160
She's gonna be okay, you know.
527
00:36:04,454 --> 00:36:05,624
She's in good hands.
528
00:36:18,171 --> 00:36:20,543
It's... It's alright...
529
00:36:20,579 --> 00:36:22,069
to be scared.
530
00:36:23,581 --> 00:36:24,775
It's normal.
531
00:36:31,689 --> 00:36:33,219
So...
532
00:36:33,255 --> 00:36:35,088
what does the average working day
533
00:36:35,123 --> 00:36:36,820
for an illusionist look like?
534
00:36:38,621 --> 00:36:42,025
Well, um, I do appearances.
535
00:36:42,060 --> 00:36:43,123
Parties.
536
00:36:44,230 --> 00:36:46,301
Actually, last week,
537
00:36:46,336 --> 00:36:48,832
I just did a major celebrity's birthday party.
538
00:36:50,409 --> 00:36:51,507
Wow.
539
00:36:53,104 --> 00:36:55,810
You know, you could try being a little bit more respectful.
540
00:36:55,845 --> 00:36:57,478
I'm sure I could.
541
00:37:00,049 --> 00:37:02,043
I just can't promise I will.
542
00:37:04,786 --> 00:37:07,716
I work hard, you know, providing for you and your mom.
543
00:37:07,751 --> 00:37:09,452
Levitation and card tricks?
544
00:37:09,487 --> 00:37:11,552
Back-breaking stuff, I'm sure.
545
00:37:11,588 --> 00:37:12,886
What I do is both
546
00:37:12,921 --> 00:37:14,523
physically and mentally exhausting.
547
00:37:14,559 --> 00:37:15,856
My wrist strength is equivalent
548
00:37:15,891 --> 00:37:17,828
to that of a professional wrestler.
549
00:37:17,863 --> 00:37:20,033
You think it's easy, making a hundred balloon animals
550
00:37:20,068 --> 00:37:21,194
for Vin Diesel's kids?
551
00:37:22,432 --> 00:37:24,373
Balloon animals.
552
00:37:24,408 --> 00:37:28,010
And they say air traffic controllers have stressful jobs.
553
00:37:28,045 --> 00:37:29,840
And what the hell is a Vin Diesel?
554
00:37:31,482 --> 00:37:35,048
Only the lead of the greatest franchise in film history.
555
00:37:35,083 --> 00:37:36,249
Well, anyway, whatever,
556
00:37:36,285 --> 00:37:37,610
people need magic in their lives.
557
00:37:37,645 --> 00:37:39,079
I'm doing my best.
558
00:37:39,114 --> 00:37:42,320
I'm doing my best not to punch you in the goolies.
559
00:37:42,356 --> 00:37:44,425
What did I ever do to you? Huh?
560
00:37:44,460 --> 00:37:46,757
Why are you angry with me? Wha... What is this?
561
00:37:46,793 --> 00:37:50,426
Oh, you really want to have this conversation,
562
00:37:50,461 --> 00:37:52,401
right here, right now?
563
00:37:53,703 --> 00:37:54,733
Um...
564
00:37:55,938 --> 00:37:56,999
I don't know.
565
00:37:58,374 --> 00:38:01,172
-No. Maybe not.
566
00:38:01,207 --> 00:38:03,038
Yeah, let's not...
567
00:38:05,212 --> 00:38:06,750
-What? -Don't move.
568
00:38:07,918 --> 00:38:09,914
Stay completely still.
569
00:38:09,949 --> 00:38:12,081
Is this just a trick so you can punch me in the "goolies"?
570
00:38:12,117 --> 00:38:13,455
No.
571
00:38:18,461 --> 00:38:19,756
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
572
00:38:19,791 --> 00:38:21,756
Strawn, listen to me.
573
00:38:21,791 --> 00:38:25,597
Do not, I repeat, do not move.
574
00:38:25,632 --> 00:38:29,202
- It's the-- - Panther.
575
00:38:29,237 --> 00:38:31,198
It's the panther.
576
00:38:32,277 --> 00:38:33,335
What do we... what do we do?
577
00:38:33,371 --> 00:38:34,672
Shh.
578
00:38:34,707 --> 00:38:35,870
- Just be quiet.
579
00:38:35,906 --> 00:38:39,113
-Panthers kill people. -I said be quiet.
580
00:38:39,148 --> 00:38:40,843
Well, why wouldn't it kill us?
581
00:38:40,879 --> 00:38:43,713
Because, A, it hasn't seen us yet.
582
00:38:43,749 --> 00:38:46,251
And B, we're going to stay very still,
583
00:38:46,286 --> 00:38:49,491
very quiet and very calm.
584
00:39:00,300 --> 00:39:01,463
That's not good, is it?
585
00:39:01,499 --> 00:39:02,829
-Umm -Do we run?
586
00:39:02,865 --> 00:39:04,697
Think you can outrun a panther?
587
00:39:04,733 --> 00:39:06,032
I don't know. Can I?
588
00:39:06,067 --> 00:39:07,575
No, Strawn. No, you can't.
589
00:39:09,840 --> 00:39:11,705
At least, there's water between us.
590
00:39:11,740 --> 00:39:12,908
Cats hate water, right?
591
00:39:12,943 --> 00:39:16,251
Panthers are exceptional swimmers, actually.
592
00:39:16,286 --> 00:39:19,917
-And what do we do? -We stay still.
593
00:39:21,754 --> 00:39:24,784
We don't move and we don't make a sound.
594
00:39:48,410 --> 00:39:50,378
Mum, if you can hear me, it's going to be okay.
595
00:39:50,414 --> 00:39:51,913
I promise.
596
00:39:51,949 --> 00:39:56,616
P.S. I love you with all of my heart.
597
00:39:56,652 --> 00:39:57,827
There. Happy?
598
00:39:57,863 --> 00:39:59,126
Mildred...
599
00:39:59,161 --> 00:40:00,793
Did you get the footage?
600
00:40:02,462 --> 00:40:04,731
I got it. I got the bugger.
601
00:40:07,466 --> 00:40:08,671
How are you holding up?
602
00:40:11,207 --> 00:40:14,070
That was... a close encounter.
603
00:40:15,772 --> 00:40:17,671
Of the fifty-thousandth kind.
604
00:40:50,773 --> 00:40:51,943
Mildred, look.
605
00:40:54,048 --> 00:40:55,183
Sorry.
606
00:40:55,218 --> 00:40:57,352
For being an absent father?
607
00:40:57,387 --> 00:41:00,890
What? No, I... I mean, for doubting you
608
00:41:00,925 --> 00:41:02,118
about the panther.
609
00:41:05,990 --> 00:41:09,191
And for the whole absent-father thing, too.
610
00:41:10,528 --> 00:41:11,732
Sorry for that.
611
00:41:13,037 --> 00:41:15,865
Yeah, and I'm sorry about
612
00:41:15,901 --> 00:41:18,140
threatening to punch you in the goolies.
613
00:41:18,175 --> 00:41:22,235
It was rude and uncalled for.
614
00:41:22,270 --> 00:41:24,278
And pretty Freudian, when you think about it.
615
00:41:24,313 --> 00:41:26,544
Uh, not to change the subject,
616
00:41:26,580 --> 00:41:28,980
but you're getting eaten alive.
617
00:41:34,921 --> 00:41:37,789
You know, most people just squash the buggers.
618
00:41:37,824 --> 00:41:40,323
Yeah, not... not me. I'm not a murderer.
619
00:41:40,358 --> 00:41:44,867
Uh, always used to make me feel guilty as a kid, killing bugs.
620
00:41:44,902 --> 00:41:46,932
Made me sad
621
00:41:46,968 --> 00:41:49,396
thinking about their babies wondering where they went.
622
00:41:52,076 --> 00:41:54,401
-What? -Don't move.
623
00:41:55,945 --> 00:41:57,345
What?
624
00:41:57,381 --> 00:41:59,547
You've got a weta on your shoulder.
625
00:41:59,582 --> 00:42:01,611
- What, a weta? - A weta.
626
00:42:07,950 --> 00:42:10,258
God, what the hell is that?
627
00:42:10,293 --> 00:42:12,353
What the hell is that?
628
00:42:20,801 --> 00:42:22,664
Think its babies will wonder where it went?
629
00:42:30,545 --> 00:42:32,142
Mum said you used to be on telly.
630
00:42:33,283 --> 00:42:34,881
You were some big-shot magician.
631
00:42:36,587 --> 00:42:38,981
But then another big-shot magician came along
632
00:42:39,016 --> 00:42:40,854
and you became a small-shot magician.
633
00:42:42,653 --> 00:42:44,957
Oh. David Blaine.
634
00:42:46,592 --> 00:42:47,630
We used to be friends.
635
00:42:49,827 --> 00:42:51,832
Until he stabbed me in the back.
636
00:42:53,633 --> 00:42:56,335
He stabbed me and he stabbed me.
637
00:42:56,370 --> 00:42:58,234
And he stabbed me.
638
00:43:04,143 --> 00:43:06,877
We met doing illusions in the streets of New York.
639
00:43:08,746 --> 00:43:09,784
Became inseparable.
640
00:43:11,618 --> 00:43:13,590
He was like a big brother to me.
641
00:43:15,490 --> 00:43:18,489
We both landed our own TV shows.
642
00:43:18,525 --> 00:43:20,627
Him first, then me.
643
00:43:20,662 --> 00:43:22,632
His show was called Street Magic.
644
00:43:23,731 --> 00:43:26,466
Mine was called Twizted Illusions.
645
00:43:26,501 --> 00:43:29,300
The "s" and Twizted was a "z".
646
00:43:29,335 --> 00:43:31,397
Twizted?
647
00:43:31,432 --> 00:43:34,638
One day, we were riding through Central Park
648
00:43:34,674 --> 00:43:35,706
in a horse-drawn carriage.
649
00:43:37,241 --> 00:43:39,714
We were both wearing burgundy velvet shorts.
650
00:43:39,750 --> 00:43:42,747
I told him I had a series of TV specials planned.
651
00:43:44,048 --> 00:43:45,451
I had the whole thing worked out.
652
00:43:45,486 --> 00:43:47,382
I talked him through it.
653
00:43:47,417 --> 00:43:50,426
"I'll be buried alive for a week in Central Park."
654
00:43:50,462 --> 00:43:52,085
The very park we were riding through.
655
00:43:53,897 --> 00:43:57,690
"Then I would be frozen in the block of ice for 72 hours."
656
00:43:57,726 --> 00:44:01,704
"Next, I would stand on top of a tall pillar for 35 hours."
657
00:44:04,406 --> 00:44:05,598
He just laughed at me.
658
00:44:06,770 --> 00:44:08,368
Said I was crazy.
659
00:44:08,403 --> 00:44:10,509
"Nobody could pull off one of these stunts,
660
00:44:10,544 --> 00:44:12,281
let alone all three."
661
00:44:12,316 --> 00:44:15,184
And then, the greasy little worm
662
00:44:15,220 --> 00:44:17,186
goes and pitches my ideas,
663
00:44:17,221 --> 00:44:19,246
like they're his own.
664
00:44:19,281 --> 00:44:22,489
Signs a... a contract worth millions
665
00:44:22,524 --> 00:44:24,155
and starts ignoring my calls.
666
00:44:25,925 --> 00:44:28,665
So, I go and confront the bastard.
667
00:44:30,832 --> 00:44:34,163
He's at this shark-themed bar in Vegas.
668
00:44:34,199 --> 00:44:36,802
He's there with all his new showbiz buddies.
669
00:44:36,837 --> 00:44:38,202
A few names you may have heard of.
670
00:44:39,907 --> 00:44:44,046
DiCaprio, Maguire, Faustino, Haas, Tip.
671
00:44:44,081 --> 00:44:46,173
As in Q-Tip.
672
00:44:46,208 --> 00:44:48,507
-The celebrated rapper. -Okay.
673
00:44:48,542 --> 00:44:50,578
They're all wearing backwards baseball caps.
674
00:44:50,613 --> 00:44:54,052
And these black baggy suits with one pant leg rolled up.
675
00:44:54,087 --> 00:44:56,792
Like an inside joke, or a ritual, or something.
676
00:44:58,595 --> 00:45:01,993
Anyway, I... I go to talk to David.
677
00:45:02,028 --> 00:45:05,160
You know, ask him, why he did that to me,
678
00:45:05,195 --> 00:45:06,703
after everything we've been through.
679
00:45:08,503 --> 00:45:09,530
You know what he did?
680
00:45:12,276 --> 00:45:13,642
He just smiles at me,
681
00:45:13,677 --> 00:45:16,570
and slowly poured his drink over my head.
682
00:45:20,212 --> 00:45:23,084
And then, they all just start barking at me.
683
00:45:23,120 --> 00:45:25,044
Like dogs.
684
00:45:25,079 --> 00:45:28,090
Barking. Barking.
685
00:45:28,125 --> 00:45:29,587
And barking.
686
00:45:33,630 --> 00:45:35,193
And David was barking the loudest.
687
00:45:36,499 --> 00:45:39,425
His face was all red and sweaty.
688
00:45:39,461 --> 00:45:42,199
His lips were turning blue.
689
00:45:42,235 --> 00:45:44,833
It's like he was having a seizure or something.
690
00:45:44,869 --> 00:45:46,666
And what did you do?
691
00:45:49,878 --> 00:45:51,704
What I always do when I see something scary.
692
00:45:54,810 --> 00:45:55,884
Ran away.
693
00:45:58,986 --> 00:46:01,417
As fast as I could, as far as I could.
694
00:46:04,855 --> 00:46:06,255
Next thing I know,
695
00:46:06,290 --> 00:46:08,193
I'm in the desert, on my knees, throwing up.
696
00:46:10,198 --> 00:46:13,297
I can see little pieces of squid tentacle in my vomit.
697
00:46:17,167 --> 00:46:19,004
It's the last thing I remember.
698
00:46:19,039 --> 00:46:21,338
The next few months are kind of a blur.
699
00:46:24,412 --> 00:46:25,746
Anyway, I...
700
00:46:25,781 --> 00:46:28,378
moved back in with my mom for a while.
701
00:46:29,584 --> 00:46:30,611
I just couldn't do much.
702
00:46:34,852 --> 00:46:35,924
A year later, I...
703
00:46:38,021 --> 00:46:39,958
I started...
704
00:46:39,993 --> 00:46:41,454
piecing things back together again.
705
00:46:41,490 --> 00:46:43,827
You know, card tricks on the streets,
706
00:46:43,862 --> 00:46:46,460
booking gigs, parties.
707
00:46:46,496 --> 00:46:49,898
And somewhere in the middle of all of this,
708
00:46:49,933 --> 00:46:51,500
you met my mum.
709
00:46:56,214 --> 00:46:57,706
I met your mom.
710
00:46:57,741 --> 00:46:59,244
Yeah.
711
00:47:00,476 --> 00:47:02,478
I found her secret diary once.
712
00:47:04,284 --> 00:47:09,122
It said that she met you on a girls' trip to Vegas.
713
00:47:10,955 --> 00:47:12,728
Says I was conceived
714
00:47:12,763 --> 00:47:15,029
in the parking lot of a convenience store.
715
00:47:16,566 --> 00:47:18,626
That's not really true, is it?
716
00:47:21,468 --> 00:47:22,498
Yeah.
717
00:47:24,200 --> 00:47:26,007
They say, "Romance is dead."
718
00:47:31,110 --> 00:47:32,777
You're wrong about one thing, though.
719
00:47:32,812 --> 00:47:34,543
What's that?
720
00:47:35,984 --> 00:47:38,177
You don't run away from every scary thing.
721
00:47:38,213 --> 00:47:39,284
You sure about that?
722
00:47:40,982 --> 00:47:42,023
I mean...
723
00:47:43,493 --> 00:47:44,861
You're here, aren't you?
724
00:47:46,664 --> 00:47:49,796
You flew halfway across the world to...
725
00:47:49,831 --> 00:47:51,395
look after a kid you've never met.
726
00:47:52,493 --> 00:47:53,870
And in the wilderness, to boot.
727
00:47:56,531 --> 00:47:58,336
Maybe you have a backbone after all.
728
00:48:01,839 --> 00:48:03,503
Thank you.
729
00:48:03,538 --> 00:48:06,245
Now, let's get some sleep, shall we?
730
00:49:31,996 --> 00:49:33,700
Hey!
731
00:49:33,735 --> 00:49:36,033
That was like six skips.
732
00:49:36,069 --> 00:49:37,298
- Yeah. -Alright, ready?
733
00:49:37,334 --> 00:49:38,733
Kia ora!
734
00:49:49,820 --> 00:49:53,219
Father and daughter, on a wee trek
735
00:49:53,254 --> 00:49:55,723
hiking the beautiful wilderness in New Zealand.
736
00:49:55,758 --> 00:49:57,724
Is this what I'm seeing here?
737
00:49:57,760 --> 00:49:58,995
-Yeah. -Course, it is.
738
00:50:02,333 --> 00:50:03,790
Hi, I'm...
739
00:50:03,826 --> 00:50:06,592
I'm Arnold and this is my beautiful wife, Angelina.
740
00:50:06,628 --> 00:50:08,502
Long-suffering missus.
741
00:50:08,537 --> 00:50:10,034
I'm Strawn.
742
00:50:10,069 --> 00:50:11,401
And this is my biologi--, uh,
743
00:50:11,436 --> 00:50:13,301
M-- my daughter, Mildred.
744
00:50:13,336 --> 00:50:16,577
Ooh. A real American person, eh?
745
00:50:16,613 --> 00:50:18,607
Yeah. I guess I am.
746
00:50:18,643 --> 00:50:20,680
I've never met a real American before.
747
00:50:20,716 --> 00:50:21,949
I mean I've watched
748
00:50:21,985 --> 00:50:23,885
lots of American soap operas, though.
749
00:50:23,920 --> 00:50:25,613
It's all she does all day,
750
00:50:25,648 --> 00:50:27,556
watch those bloody American soap operas.
751
00:50:27,591 --> 00:50:29,451
They can be addictive.
752
00:50:29,487 --> 00:50:31,224
That's why they end with cliffhangers.
753
00:50:31,260 --> 00:50:33,787
It's to make you desperate to see the next episode.
754
00:50:33,822 --> 00:50:36,096
It's to make you watch commercials, basically.
755
00:50:36,131 --> 00:50:38,692
That's how TV works. It's sort of shameful.
756
00:50:38,727 --> 00:50:39,995
I mean, there should be laws against it.
757
00:50:40,031 --> 00:50:41,301
It's disgusting.
758
00:50:47,944 --> 00:50:50,706
So, uh, you enjoying New Zealand?
759
00:50:51,946 --> 00:50:53,445
I... I quite like it. I think.
760
00:50:55,643 --> 00:50:58,053
Well, we're heading down to those,
761
00:50:58,089 --> 00:51:00,889
you know, the big rocks where they made the movie
762
00:51:00,925 --> 00:51:03,420
where Liam Neeson was the talking lion?
763
00:51:03,456 --> 00:51:05,719
- Oh. - Why don't you join us,
764
00:51:05,754 --> 00:51:08,361
I could do with some grown-up conversation.
765
00:51:09,466 --> 00:51:10,495
So could I.
766
00:51:13,131 --> 00:51:15,662
So, tell me everything.
767
00:51:15,697 --> 00:51:18,332
What's it like growing up in America?
768
00:51:18,367 --> 00:51:19,866
I'd love to tell you,
769
00:51:19,901 --> 00:51:23,239
but since I've never set foot on American soil,
770
00:51:23,274 --> 00:51:24,612
I don't have a bloody clue.
771
00:51:24,647 --> 00:51:25,747
But your dad...
772
00:51:25,782 --> 00:51:27,545
He lives there. I live here.
773
00:51:29,052 --> 00:51:30,344
Don't you want to live there with him?
774
00:51:30,379 --> 00:51:32,419
I mean, if I was a kid,
775
00:51:32,454 --> 00:51:35,984
much rather grow up in America than boring old New Zealand.
776
00:51:36,020 --> 00:51:37,286
Let's see.
777
00:51:37,321 --> 00:51:39,661
I don't like assault rifles.
778
00:51:39,696 --> 00:51:41,091
I don't like high-fives.
779
00:51:41,126 --> 00:51:42,692
I don't like corn syrup.
780
00:51:42,727 --> 00:51:45,927
I don't like people who say, "buddy", or "hell, yeah."
781
00:51:45,962 --> 00:51:49,061
And I despise the word "dude" with every atom of my being.
782
00:51:51,239 --> 00:51:53,698
I'm not sure America has much to offer me.
783
00:51:53,734 --> 00:51:55,336
You don't--
784
00:51:55,371 --> 00:51:56,904
Talk like a normal child?
785
00:51:58,110 --> 00:51:59,506
-I know.
786
00:51:59,542 --> 00:52:01,079
So, what's your trade?
787
00:52:01,114 --> 00:52:02,346
I'm an illusionist.
788
00:52:02,381 --> 00:52:04,483
Illusionist? What, like, like a magician?
789
00:52:06,119 --> 00:52:08,118
-Yeah. -Like David Blaine?
790
00:52:08,153 --> 00:52:10,124
Oh, man. I adore him.
791
00:52:10,160 --> 00:52:13,420
Like, he is literally magical. Don't you think?
792
00:52:13,456 --> 00:52:14,655
Like, nothing comes close.
793
00:52:14,690 --> 00:52:16,621
Nothing even comes close to close to him.
794
00:52:16,657 --> 00:52:17,859
-Don't you think? -Yeah.
795
00:52:19,196 --> 00:52:20,594
What about you?
796
00:52:20,630 --> 00:52:23,071
Me? I'm a... I'm a heart surgeon.
797
00:52:23,106 --> 00:52:25,732
Yeah. I don't mean to toot my own trombone,
798
00:52:25,768 --> 00:52:28,501
but I'm in the top five heart surgeons
799
00:52:28,536 --> 00:52:30,202
in the whole of Oceania.
800
00:52:30,238 --> 00:52:31,573
Wow.
801
00:52:31,609 --> 00:52:33,177
I think I'm actually impressed by that.
802
00:52:33,212 --> 00:52:35,112
A lot of people are, you know?
803
00:52:35,147 --> 00:52:36,513
And so they should be,
804
00:52:36,548 --> 00:52:37,753
It's an impressive job to have, isn't it?
805
00:52:37,788 --> 00:52:39,622
Like, literally, I save lives.
806
00:52:39,657 --> 00:52:41,056
If somebody was dying
807
00:52:41,091 --> 00:52:42,586
and I end up being there, I save their life.
808
00:52:42,621 --> 00:52:45,384
So, if anything... I'm the magician round here.
809
00:52:46,695 --> 00:52:47,724
No offense.
810
00:52:52,530 --> 00:52:54,361
- Good one.
811
00:52:54,396 --> 00:52:55,527
Um...
812
00:52:56,906 --> 00:52:58,504
She's really good with kids, eh?
813
00:53:01,174 --> 00:53:02,904
Yeah. Well, some people are.
814
00:53:04,539 --> 00:53:05,577
Some people aren't.
815
00:53:14,424 --> 00:53:17,658
Listen, mate, there's something I wanted to say to you.
816
00:53:17,693 --> 00:53:18,755
What's that?
817
00:53:20,358 --> 00:53:21,461
You've got to promise, you...
818
00:53:22,795 --> 00:53:24,728
are going to be cool, calm and collected about it, eh?
819
00:53:25,802 --> 00:53:27,436
Chillin'' like Bob Dylan.
820
00:53:27,471 --> 00:53:29,334
Promise?
821
00:53:29,369 --> 00:53:31,438
Sure, yeah, I promise. What is it?
822
00:53:34,878 --> 00:53:36,403
I've kidnapped your daughter.
823
00:53:39,816 --> 00:53:40,975
Excuse me?
824
00:53:43,047 --> 00:53:44,346
You see,
825
00:53:44,381 --> 00:53:45,612
I know it doesn't look
826
00:53:45,648 --> 00:53:48,287
like a conventional kidnapping.
827
00:53:48,322 --> 00:53:51,222
But a kidnapping is exactly what it is.
828
00:53:54,996 --> 00:53:56,025
I... I don't understand.
829
00:53:56,060 --> 00:53:57,695
Well...
830
00:53:58,703 --> 00:53:59,961
She's in my custody.
831
00:54:01,534 --> 00:54:03,168
And I'm going to make some demands of you.
832
00:54:03,203 --> 00:54:04,603
And if those demands aren't met,
833
00:54:06,205 --> 00:54:07,540
she stays in my custody.
834
00:54:09,077 --> 00:54:11,709
Until I, uh, cut her loose.
835
00:54:16,149 --> 00:54:17,716
'Cause let's be honest,
836
00:54:17,752 --> 00:54:20,781
that's a lot of dead weight to be carrying around this terrain.
837
00:54:20,817 --> 00:54:23,219
Especially with my bad back.
838
00:54:23,254 --> 00:54:24,656
Sorry, no filter.
839
00:54:26,321 --> 00:54:27,362
So, um...
840
00:54:28,492 --> 00:54:30,464
In case you get any funny ideas,
841
00:54:31,529 --> 00:54:33,060
just like you to know that, um,
842
00:54:34,971 --> 00:54:36,637
I'm a black belt in karate.
843
00:54:37,708 --> 00:54:38,739
Are you really?
844
00:54:38,775 --> 00:54:39,836
Yes I am really.
845
00:54:41,537 --> 00:54:42,608
I don't believe you.
846
00:54:43,606 --> 00:54:44,742
Well, you should believe me.
847
00:54:45,783 --> 00:54:46,882
Then do a karate move.
848
00:54:46,917 --> 00:54:49,275
I'm not some dancing monkey boy.
849
00:54:49,311 --> 00:54:51,617
-I don't do moves on demand. -Because you don't know karate.
850
00:54:53,117 --> 00:54:54,251
Right.
851
00:54:54,286 --> 00:54:56,452
I'm not doing any moves.
852
00:54:56,487 --> 00:54:58,019
But I'll show you something.
853
00:55:01,397 --> 00:55:03,299
Have a look at that and commit that to memory.
854
00:55:04,801 --> 00:55:05,829
#There it is.
855
00:55:07,703 --> 00:55:08,997
A belt.
856
00:55:10,070 --> 00:55:11,098
What color is it?
857
00:55:14,711 --> 00:55:15,843
It's black.
858
00:55:15,878 --> 00:55:17,438
That's correct.
859
00:55:17,473 --> 00:55:18,681
The belt is black.
860
00:55:18,716 --> 00:55:21,209
As in black belt.
861
00:55:21,244 --> 00:55:22,779
As in...
862
00:55:22,814 --> 00:55:26,014
I can karate the living shite clean out of you.
863
00:55:27,923 --> 00:55:29,490
And if I choose
864
00:55:29,525 --> 00:55:31,987
to karate the living shit clean out of you, I will.
865
00:55:33,963 --> 00:55:35,861
If you mess me about it.
866
00:55:35,896 --> 00:55:37,632
Capisce?
867
00:55:37,667 --> 00:55:38,864
Mm-hmm.
868
00:55:38,899 --> 00:55:40,025
Alright.
869
00:55:40,060 --> 00:55:41,969
Let's get down to the nitty-gritty
870
00:55:42,004 --> 00:55:43,663
of what I want from you.
871
00:55:43,698 --> 00:55:45,808
What do you want from me?
872
00:55:45,843 --> 00:55:48,042
Well, your valuables.
873
00:55:48,077 --> 00:55:50,003
You can't be serious.
874
00:55:50,038 --> 00:55:52,009
As serious as cancer-rhythm-is-a-dancer,
875
00:55:52,045 --> 00:55:53,074
my friend.
876
00:55:54,382 --> 00:55:55,714
Have you ever had a blood transfusion?
877
00:55:56,753 --> 00:55:58,043
What? Yeah.
878
00:55:58,078 --> 00:56:00,246
Well, see this as a bag transfusion.
879
00:56:03,320 --> 00:56:04,552
You transfer
880
00:56:04,587 --> 00:56:05,757
the contents of your bag
881
00:56:06,724 --> 00:56:09,125
into my bag.
882
00:56:09,160 --> 00:56:10,628
Okay?
883
00:56:10,664 --> 00:56:12,960
So why don't we start with the mobile phone?
884
00:56:12,996 --> 00:56:16,000
Or as you yanks like to call it, your "cellular"?
885
00:56:16,035 --> 00:56:17,868
Come on.
886
00:56:20,741 --> 00:56:23,077
Do I need to remind you that a black belt in karate
887
00:56:23,112 --> 00:56:24,303
has kidnapped your daughter?
888
00:56:27,411 --> 00:56:28,450
Thanking you.
889
00:56:29,480 --> 00:56:30,845
Uh, passcode, please.
890
00:56:30,880 --> 00:56:31,950
Okay, please. You don't need the--
891
00:56:31,985 --> 00:56:33,081
Passcode?
892
00:56:35,857 --> 00:56:36,991
1981.
893
00:56:37,026 --> 00:56:39,428
It's the year I was born.
894
00:56:39,463 --> 00:56:41,490
Hey, just please don't look at any of the photos.
895
00:56:41,525 --> 00:56:43,195
Okay, that's all I ask.
896
00:56:44,564 --> 00:56:46,528
I wasn't going to look at the photos.
897
00:56:46,564 --> 00:56:47,796
But now you mentioned it--
898
00:56:47,831 --> 00:56:49,331
No, no, no. Please, please don't.
899
00:56:49,367 --> 00:56:50,406
Ooh!
900
00:56:54,344 --> 00:56:55,840
You're a strange little man, aren't you?
901
00:56:57,239 --> 00:56:58,771
You do know there's a pump you can get for that,
902
00:56:58,806 --> 00:57:00,913
and apparently it works?
903
00:57:00,948 --> 00:57:02,245
Mm-hm.
904
00:57:02,281 --> 00:57:04,376
Okay. Camera?
905
00:57:06,646 --> 00:57:07,918
Please.
906
00:57:09,355 --> 00:57:11,458
Please. Don't do this.
907
00:57:11,494 --> 00:57:12,821
This is my daughter's. It means a lot to her.
908
00:57:12,856 --> 00:57:15,292
Yeah, and it'll mean a lot to me too.
909
00:57:18,060 --> 00:57:19,759
But I'll call the cops. I know your names.
910
00:57:19,794 --> 00:57:21,727
What, um...
911
00:57:21,763 --> 00:57:23,465
Arnold and Angelina?
912
00:57:23,500 --> 00:57:26,902
Have a wee think.
913
00:57:26,937 --> 00:57:28,906
Where have you heard those names before?
914
00:57:32,547 --> 00:57:36,381
Arnold Schwarzenegger and Angelina Jolie?
915
00:57:36,416 --> 00:57:38,645
And what do they have in common?
916
00:57:38,681 --> 00:57:40,313
They're...
917
00:57:42,288 --> 00:57:43,322
Actors.
918
00:57:43,358 --> 00:57:45,386
And what do actors do?
919
00:57:45,421 --> 00:57:46,622
They...
920
00:57:46,657 --> 00:57:48,128
pretend to be other people.
921
00:57:49,791 --> 00:57:51,124
I... I know your job.
922
00:57:51,159 --> 00:57:53,128
You're one of the leading heart surgeons.
923
00:57:56,900 --> 00:57:58,233
You're not a heart surgeon, are you?
924
00:57:58,269 --> 00:57:59,734
No.
925
00:57:59,769 --> 00:58:01,376
Well, I know what you look like.
926
00:58:01,412 --> 00:58:03,243
The... the cops will do a composite sketch.
927
00:58:03,279 --> 00:58:05,441
I'll just go home, cut my hair,
928
00:58:05,477 --> 00:58:07,038
shave off my beard,
929
00:58:07,073 --> 00:58:08,275
and nobody will recognize me.
930
00:58:09,646 --> 00:58:10,778
What about Angelina?
931
00:58:10,814 --> 00:58:12,653
She'll shave her beard off too.
932
00:58:15,190 --> 00:58:17,350
Anyhoo. Wallet. Come on.
933
00:58:21,160 --> 00:58:22,293
Grazie.
934
00:58:22,328 --> 00:58:24,823
Angelina, darling.
935
00:58:26,000 --> 00:58:27,269
Well.
936
00:58:27,304 --> 00:58:29,194
-I think you can finish this. -Yeah.
937
00:58:29,229 --> 00:58:30,935
I'll see what those two are up to.
938
00:58:32,702 --> 00:58:34,906
Goodbye.
939
00:58:36,947 --> 00:58:38,338
We all done here?
940
00:58:38,373 --> 00:58:40,005
Yeah, it was quite a painless operation.
941
00:58:43,921 --> 00:58:46,148
Ooh. Nice rod.
942
00:58:47,156 --> 00:58:48,888
-There you go. -Mm.
943
00:58:48,923 --> 00:58:50,486
Bet ya that's the first time a woman's ever said that to you.
944
00:58:52,023 --> 00:58:53,626
Please don't take that. It's my daughter's.
945
00:58:53,661 --> 00:58:56,298
My nephew is desperate for a fishing rod.
946
00:58:56,333 --> 00:58:58,800
That's his birthday present's sorted.
947
00:58:58,835 --> 00:59:00,135
Thanks.
948
00:59:00,170 --> 00:59:02,395
Grab their matches and map.
949
00:59:02,431 --> 00:59:04,702
-That'll slow 'em down.
950
00:59:04,738 --> 00:59:06,734
You are a criminal mastermind, my love.
951
00:59:08,906 --> 00:59:10,103
Wanna show you something.
952
00:59:10,138 --> 00:59:12,543
I used to charge my mates at school,
953
00:59:12,578 --> 00:59:13,978
a dollar a time to see this.
954
00:59:17,554 --> 00:59:19,152
You don't want to see what he used to charge
955
00:59:19,187 --> 00:59:20,419
two bucks to see.
956
00:59:20,454 --> 00:59:22,057
What if I come after you, huh?
957
00:59:22,092 --> 00:59:23,556
Aw.
958
00:59:23,591 --> 00:59:25,352
You just don't seem like the type.
959
00:59:28,989 --> 00:59:30,656
You want me to get this?
960
00:59:30,691 --> 00:59:31,732
Yeah.
961
00:59:35,437 --> 00:59:37,004
Kia ora!
962
01:00:00,792 --> 01:00:01,828
Hey, where'd they go?
963
01:00:02,899 --> 01:00:03,962
Hey!
964
01:00:15,002 --> 01:00:17,305
Not to get mushy, but...
965
01:00:19,810 --> 01:00:22,283
today's been a bloody great day.
966
01:00:22,318 --> 01:00:23,614
I have to tell you something.
967
01:00:23,649 --> 01:00:25,410
You're gonna get mushy, too?
968
01:00:25,445 --> 01:00:27,117
You have to promise that you'll stay...
969
01:00:28,587 --> 01:00:30,157
cool,
970
01:00:30,193 --> 01:00:32,785
calm and collected.
971
01:00:32,820 --> 01:00:33,920
You promise?
972
01:00:33,955 --> 01:00:36,390
Yes. Okay, I promise.
973
01:00:39,498 --> 01:00:40,735
They robbed us.
974
01:00:41,702 --> 01:00:43,900
-Pardon me? -They kidnapped you.
975
01:00:43,935 --> 01:00:45,834
Yeah. Good one, Strawn. Very funny.
976
01:00:45,869 --> 01:00:47,736
Seriously, where'd they go?
977
01:00:47,771 --> 01:00:49,040
They held you to ransom.
978
01:00:50,213 --> 01:00:52,005
They took my phone,
979
01:00:52,040 --> 01:00:54,840
my wallet, the map, the matches,
980
01:00:54,876 --> 01:00:56,751
fishing rod...
981
01:00:58,648 --> 01:00:59,853
the camera.
982
01:01:02,087 --> 01:01:04,820
I... I know it didn't feel like a kidnapping,
983
01:01:04,855 --> 01:01:07,157
but that's what just happened.
984
01:01:09,163 --> 01:01:10,391
Oh, God.
985
01:01:11,529 --> 01:01:12,659
I'm sorry.
986
01:01:15,766 --> 01:01:17,563
They took everything.
987
01:01:19,201 --> 01:01:22,876
The camera, the proof, everything.
988
01:01:24,038 --> 01:01:28,610
And... you just let them?
989
01:01:28,646 --> 01:01:30,147
-Just...
990
01:01:31,320 --> 01:01:33,447
You just handed it over
991
01:01:35,082 --> 01:01:36,981
on a silver platter.
992
01:01:37,017 --> 01:01:38,457
I'm so sorry.
993
01:01:38,492 --> 01:01:39,959
Do I need to remind you
994
01:01:39,994 --> 01:01:43,457
that that camera footage was going to save Mum and me
995
01:01:43,492 --> 01:01:45,861
from becoming another depressing welfare statistic?
996
01:01:45,897 --> 01:01:48,396
It was going to save our lives.
997
01:01:50,735 --> 01:01:52,397
You hate me, don't you?
998
01:01:52,432 --> 01:01:54,037
I actually can't even put into words
999
01:01:54,073 --> 01:01:56,371
how much hate I feel towards you right now.
1000
01:01:58,907 --> 01:02:00,778
You know what?
1001
01:02:00,814 --> 01:02:05,220
I can't stand the sight of you.
1002
01:02:05,255 --> 01:02:08,419
Your idiotic nail polish.
1003
01:02:08,455 --> 01:02:10,281
And your crap,
1004
01:02:10,317 --> 01:02:13,955
low-budget TV-magician clothes.
1005
01:02:13,990 --> 01:02:16,663
And your greasy, ratty hair
1006
01:02:16,699 --> 01:02:20,329
and these big, dumb, dopey donkey eyes.
1007
01:02:21,567 --> 01:02:22,702
You know what?
1008
01:02:22,737 --> 01:02:26,472
You need to move away from me right now--
1009
01:02:26,508 --> 01:02:28,200
What was I supposed to do?
1010
01:02:28,236 --> 01:02:30,574
-He was a karate master. -Move...
1011
01:02:30,609 --> 01:02:33,344
away... from...
1012
01:02:33,380 --> 01:02:35,414
me... now.
1013
01:02:35,450 --> 01:02:37,080
Mildred, be serious.
1014
01:02:37,115 --> 01:02:39,348
Like, 20 paces. Like we're in a duel. Go!
1015
01:02:47,495 --> 01:02:49,698
That wasn't 20 paces.
1016
01:02:49,733 --> 01:02:53,832
That was, like, 11 paces. And I can still see you.
1017
01:02:53,867 --> 01:02:56,666
Like a greasy smudge on the world.
1018
01:02:56,702 --> 01:02:58,070
Bugger off, further.
1019
01:03:01,411 --> 01:03:02,705
It all makes sense now.
1020
01:03:02,740 --> 01:03:04,107
What makes sense?
1021
01:03:04,142 --> 01:03:06,077
Why you don't have any friends at school.
1022
01:03:06,113 --> 01:03:08,445
Why your mother never wants to take you camping.
1023
01:03:08,481 --> 01:03:09,749
Excuse me?
1024
01:03:09,784 --> 01:03:12,412
You know, this entire trip,
1025
01:03:12,447 --> 01:03:14,888
you've been nothing but a grade-A D-bag.
1026
01:03:14,923 --> 01:03:16,622
Yeah? Well, it takes one, to know one, doesn't it?
1027
01:03:16,657 --> 01:03:19,594
A pretentious, prickly runt.
1028
01:03:19,629 --> 01:03:20,623
I know you are. You said you were.
1029
01:03:20,659 --> 01:03:21,687
So, what am I?
1030
01:03:24,300 --> 01:03:25,493
You're an asshole.
1031
01:03:31,434 --> 01:03:34,039
Twenty paces? You know what? Let's make it 50.
1032
01:03:34,075 --> 01:03:38,203
You know? Screw that. A hundred and fifty paces.
1033
01:03:38,238 --> 01:03:41,716
One, two, three, four,
1034
01:03:41,752 --> 01:03:45,485
five, six, seven, eight, nine,
1035
01:03:45,520 --> 01:03:47,722
ten, eleven, twelve...
1036
01:03:47,757 --> 01:03:51,926
thirteen, fourteen, fifteen, sixteen...
1037
01:03:54,023 --> 01:03:58,991
119, 120, 121, 122...
1038
01:03:59,027 --> 01:04:01,661
123...
1039
01:04:05,266 --> 01:04:06,867
You can never do anything right.
1040
01:04:06,902 --> 01:04:07,942
Ungrateful.
1041
01:04:19,848 --> 01:04:21,620
Mildred!
1042
01:04:26,855 --> 01:04:27,896
Hello?
1043
01:04:33,159 --> 01:04:34,830
Oh!
1044
01:04:44,246 --> 01:04:45,510
Hello!
1045
01:05:19,376 --> 01:05:22,245
What's the matter, Mr. Twizted Illusions?
1046
01:05:22,280 --> 01:05:24,679
Got scared in the big, dark, spooky stones?
1047
01:05:24,715 --> 01:05:25,745
No.
1048
01:05:28,622 --> 01:05:30,984
Yeah. Okay, I did.
1049
01:05:31,019 --> 01:05:32,084
I got lost.
1050
01:05:32,120 --> 01:05:33,220
I hurt my ankle.
1051
01:05:33,255 --> 01:05:34,958
And I heard some weird sounds.
1052
01:05:34,993 --> 01:05:36,490
That made me very uncomfortable.
1053
01:05:36,525 --> 01:05:38,531
Listen to me. We have two options.
1054
01:05:38,567 --> 01:05:41,093
Yeah? And they are?
1055
01:05:41,128 --> 01:05:42,536
Live or die.
1056
01:05:42,571 --> 01:05:44,395
It really is that simple.
1057
01:05:44,431 --> 01:05:45,903
Now, don't know about you,
1058
01:05:45,939 --> 01:05:47,799
but I would quite like to live.
1059
01:05:47,834 --> 01:05:51,038
And I plan on getting that 50 grand back too.
1060
01:05:51,074 --> 01:05:52,277
With or without you.
1061
01:05:57,247 --> 01:05:59,878
We are days away from anywhere.
1062
01:05:59,913 --> 01:06:04,121
We have no food, no map, no fishing rod, no matches.
1063
01:06:04,156 --> 01:06:05,450
-They took-- - Everything.
1064
01:06:05,485 --> 01:06:07,325
I know. They took everything.
1065
01:06:09,289 --> 01:06:11,692
So? What now?
1066
01:06:11,727 --> 01:06:14,497
Are you familiar with Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs?
1067
01:06:16,940 --> 01:06:21,400
Abraham Maslow, 1943, The Hierarchy of Needs.
1068
01:06:21,435 --> 01:06:23,170
At the base of the pyramid,
1069
01:06:23,205 --> 01:06:24,371
fundamental human needs,
1070
01:06:24,407 --> 01:06:27,010
the very foundations of survival,
1071
01:06:27,045 --> 01:06:30,418
warmth, shelter, food and water.
1072
01:06:30,453 --> 01:06:33,244
Shelter, we have.
1073
01:06:33,280 --> 01:06:35,287
Warmth, we have.
1074
01:06:35,323 --> 01:06:39,090
All things considered, we're off to a pretty good start.
1075
01:06:39,125 --> 01:06:42,827
Now, as calories are in short supply,
1076
01:06:42,862 --> 01:06:45,297
I suggest we make camp...
1077
01:06:47,064 --> 01:06:48,198
by that lake down there.
1078
01:06:48,234 --> 01:06:52,205
We'll have food and water on our doorstep.
1079
01:06:52,240 --> 01:06:55,201
We can plot our next move from there with clear heads
1080
01:06:55,236 --> 01:06:56,605
and full bellies.
1081
01:06:58,372 --> 01:06:59,608
Now, tell me, Strawn,
1082
01:07:01,418 --> 01:07:02,611
Can you whittle?
1083
01:07:03,584 --> 01:07:04,745
Can I what?
1084
01:07:31,144 --> 01:07:33,745
Keep going. You're getting there.
1085
01:07:48,796 --> 01:07:50,725
Come... on...
1086
01:07:52,695 --> 01:07:54,968
-Get back, I've got this. -You sure about that?
1087
01:07:55,003 --> 01:07:56,230
Yes, I'm sure about that.
1088
01:07:56,265 --> 01:07:57,831
I've read all about it.
1089
01:07:57,866 --> 01:07:59,366
What, just cause you read about it doesn't mean you--
1090
01:07:59,402 --> 01:08:01,707
Silence. I need to concentrate.
1091
01:08:01,742 --> 01:08:03,177
Go and whittle.
1092
01:08:09,244 --> 01:08:11,046
How did you...
1093
01:08:11,081 --> 01:08:12,120
It's called magic.
1094
01:08:13,281 --> 01:08:15,321
The thumb flint.
1095
01:08:15,356 --> 01:08:18,284
"An essential weapon in any illusionists arsenal."
1096
01:08:18,319 --> 01:08:19,688
Found a spare one.
1097
01:08:25,358 --> 01:08:26,563
Oh.
1098
01:08:28,327 --> 01:08:29,533
Christ.
1099
01:08:30,667 --> 01:08:33,700
Sorry. Guess I'm not very good at whittling.
1100
01:08:33,735 --> 01:08:35,842
No, I didn't think you would be.
1101
01:08:35,877 --> 01:08:37,609
That's why I asked you to do it.
1102
01:08:37,644 --> 01:08:38,779
What?
1103
01:08:38,814 --> 01:08:40,540
I wanted to give you something
1104
01:08:40,576 --> 01:08:43,451
to occupy your mind, to focus on.
1105
01:08:43,486 --> 01:08:45,313
It's worked.
1106
01:08:45,348 --> 01:08:46,611
You've calmed down, haven't you?
1107
01:08:46,646 --> 01:08:48,379
We're still stranded out here.
1108
01:08:48,415 --> 01:08:51,116
And... voila!
1109
01:08:51,152 --> 01:08:52,790
Oh.
1110
01:08:52,826 --> 01:08:54,594
I'm going in.
1111
01:08:54,630 --> 01:08:56,527
What?
1112
01:09:06,276 --> 01:09:08,400
What, you really think you're gonna be able to catch a--
1113
01:09:12,078 --> 01:09:13,613
Look at this great big bugger!
1114
01:09:13,648 --> 01:09:16,079
Mmm.
1115
01:09:23,820 --> 01:09:25,623
Fancy a spot of tea, old chap?
1116
01:09:25,659 --> 01:09:26,993
Oh.
1117
01:09:27,029 --> 01:09:29,320
God, I would kill for a cup of tea.
1118
01:09:29,355 --> 01:09:30,396
Well.
1119
01:09:32,569 --> 01:09:33,663
Piper Excelsum.
1120
01:09:34,729 --> 01:09:37,999
Known around these parts as Kawakawa.
1121
01:09:38,034 --> 01:09:39,403
Kawakawa?
1122
01:09:39,438 --> 01:09:41,308
It has powerful anti-septic properties.
1123
01:09:41,343 --> 01:09:44,911
And it happens to taste scrump-diddly-umptious too.
1124
01:09:44,946 --> 01:09:46,313
Sling that down your gullet.
1125
01:09:50,577 --> 01:09:52,916
That's good. Really good.
1126
01:09:52,952 --> 01:09:54,013
Mm.
1127
01:09:58,452 --> 01:09:59,788
You know, Strawn?
1128
01:10:00,995 --> 01:10:02,054
I don't think less of you.
1129
01:10:03,733 --> 01:10:05,296
W... What?
1130
01:10:05,331 --> 01:10:07,059
That's what you're thinking, isn't it?
1131
01:10:09,268 --> 01:10:12,064
That you... failed to be a man.
1132
01:10:15,209 --> 01:10:17,641
You crapped the bed as a protector.
1133
01:10:20,313 --> 01:10:22,247
And your weakness put us in grave danger.
1134
01:10:22,283 --> 01:10:24,943
And now, we're two of the 8,000 people
1135
01:10:24,978 --> 01:10:26,848
who go missing in New Zealand every year.
1136
01:10:28,857 --> 01:10:30,920
All because you're weak.
1137
01:10:30,956 --> 01:10:32,458
And naive.
1138
01:10:34,789 --> 01:10:36,495
And you refuse to call to action.
1139
01:10:38,162 --> 01:10:39,498
Like a coward.
1140
01:10:41,827 --> 01:10:43,667
Is that what you really think?
1141
01:10:45,031 --> 01:10:47,066
No. No, that's what I think you think.
1142
01:10:50,112 --> 01:10:51,444
What part of it isn't true?
1143
01:10:55,448 --> 01:10:57,318
God, I really messed this up, didn't I?
1144
01:11:00,120 --> 01:11:01,685
I let him take everything.
1145
01:11:03,318 --> 01:11:04,785
I let him...
1146
01:11:04,821 --> 01:11:06,991
I just handed it to him on a silver platter.
1147
01:11:07,027 --> 01:11:08,120
Just like you said.
1148
01:11:11,025 --> 01:11:14,192
You're talking about Arnold or David Blaine?
1149
01:11:16,000 --> 01:11:17,869
Sorry.
1150
01:11:17,905 --> 01:11:18,933
Look.
1151
01:11:20,501 --> 01:11:21,569
We lost it all.
1152
01:11:21,604 --> 01:11:22,976
It's a kick in the head, no doubt.
1153
01:11:23,011 --> 01:11:25,443
But we've got grub our guts,
1154
01:11:25,479 --> 01:11:28,244
air in our lungs, and somewhere cozy to sleep.
1155
01:11:28,279 --> 01:11:29,748
We're not done yet, mate.
1156
01:11:29,783 --> 01:11:31,784
No way.
1157
01:11:31,820 --> 01:11:33,244
No flying way.
1158
01:11:42,224 --> 01:11:43,463
Mildred.
1159
01:11:45,568 --> 01:11:46,631
Yeah?
1160
01:11:48,937 --> 01:11:49,997
I'll look after you.
1161
01:12:36,313 --> 01:12:38,086
Ooh!
1162
01:12:38,121 --> 01:12:40,082
See these black and green mushrooms?
1163
01:12:40,117 --> 01:12:41,912
Yeah.
1164
01:12:41,948 --> 01:12:44,551
Well, if we ever get separated,
1165
01:12:44,586 --> 01:12:45,657
don't ever eat those.
1166
01:12:46,829 --> 01:12:48,055
Why? What happens?
1167
01:12:49,399 --> 01:12:52,328
Full-body numbness, hallucinations, possible nausea,
1168
01:12:52,363 --> 01:12:53,492
and projectile vomiting.
1169
01:12:53,528 --> 01:12:54,864
Ooh. Sounds fun.
1170
01:12:56,235 --> 01:12:58,335
I'm obviously kidding.
1171
01:12:58,370 --> 01:12:59,966
Don't do drugs. Drugs are bad.
1172
01:13:00,001 --> 01:13:02,168
Drugs tear families and communities apart.
1173
01:13:04,408 --> 01:13:06,480
Ah, here we go.
1174
01:13:09,875 --> 01:13:11,947
Pleurotus Parsonsaie.
1175
01:13:12,988 --> 01:13:14,488
Velvet oyster mushrooms.
1176
01:13:19,820 --> 01:13:21,423
I've always wanted to try these.
1177
01:13:21,458 --> 01:13:23,591
Why? Looks disgusting.
1178
01:13:23,627 --> 01:13:25,457
You know what looks disgusting?
1179
01:13:25,492 --> 01:13:28,568
The corpses that have succumbed to starvation in the wilderness.
1180
01:13:31,532 --> 01:13:32,572
Dead people.
1181
01:13:37,077 --> 01:13:38,809
Hey. What is it?
1182
01:13:40,443 --> 01:13:42,615
Mildred, you okay?
1183
01:13:49,421 --> 01:13:51,291
I have to tell you something.
1184
01:13:51,326 --> 01:13:54,291
It'll change the way you look at me,
1185
01:13:54,326 --> 01:13:56,864
forever, probably, but...
1186
01:13:56,899 --> 01:13:57,962
I have to say it.
1187
01:13:57,997 --> 01:13:59,632
Okay.
1188
01:14:05,237 --> 01:14:06,606
I used to wish...
1189
01:14:08,870 --> 01:14:10,940
...my mum would just disappear.
1190
01:14:14,215 --> 01:14:17,375
I'd... lie awake at night,
1191
01:14:19,151 --> 01:14:20,585
just hoping
1192
01:14:20,620 --> 01:14:22,347
that she wouldn't be there when I woke up.
1193
01:14:26,324 --> 01:14:27,352
And you'd come.
1194
01:14:32,067 --> 01:14:33,298
And you'd understand me.
1195
01:14:33,333 --> 01:14:36,229
You'd really understand me.
1196
01:14:38,601 --> 01:14:40,002
Like she never could.
1197
01:14:43,213 --> 01:14:45,005
We'd do things together.
1198
01:14:45,041 --> 01:14:47,746
All the things that Mum is too afraid to do.
1199
01:14:51,151 --> 01:14:52,179
Like, go camping.
1200
01:14:53,514 --> 01:14:55,085
Hunting.
1201
01:14:55,120 --> 01:14:56,790
Fishing.
1202
01:14:56,825 --> 01:14:58,453
You know?
1203
01:14:58,489 --> 01:15:00,286
Stuff of adventures.
1204
01:15:09,070 --> 01:15:10,934
And...
1205
01:15:13,241 --> 01:15:15,103
maybe my wish did come true.
1206
01:15:18,905 --> 01:15:20,108
But in the wrong ways.
1207
01:15:30,489 --> 01:15:32,483
I don't want my mum to go now.
1208
01:15:33,821 --> 01:15:35,156
I don't want her to go.
1209
01:15:41,368 --> 01:15:43,032
And as for you understanding me,
1210
01:15:50,706 --> 01:15:52,239
Here, have a tissue.
1211
01:17:19,894 --> 01:17:21,361
Is this what you wanted?
1212
01:17:22,333 --> 01:17:23,466
Toast!
1213
01:17:33,478 --> 01:17:35,408
Hey. What is it?
1214
01:17:41,023 --> 01:17:42,085
What is it?
1215
01:17:46,327 --> 01:17:47,860
I had a bad dream and...
1216
01:17:48,956 --> 01:17:50,390
And now I need to go wee.
1217
01:17:52,697 --> 01:17:54,163
I don't want to go on my own.
1218
01:17:55,499 --> 01:17:56,594
Yeah. Okay.
1219
01:17:57,734 --> 01:17:58,937
Let me get my boots.
1220
01:18:37,109 --> 01:18:38,839
...are supposed to bring us together...
1221
01:18:38,874 --> 01:18:40,606
...but at the moment,
1222
01:18:40,641 --> 01:18:43,448
all I want to be is a million bloody miles away from you.
1223
01:18:47,146 --> 01:18:49,122
-It's them. -Who?
1224
01:18:49,158 --> 01:18:50,791
Who'd you think?
1225
01:18:50,826 --> 01:18:52,659
The buggers who kidnapped me, took our belongings,
1226
01:18:52,694 --> 01:18:54,755
left us for dead, think you'd remember them?
1227
01:18:54,790 --> 01:18:56,187
What should we do?
1228
01:18:56,222 --> 01:18:58,595
-Isn't it obvious? -Obvious?
1229
01:18:58,630 --> 01:18:59,929
No, it's not obvious.
1230
01:18:59,964 --> 01:19:02,368
In fact, it's very far from obvious.
1231
01:19:02,403 --> 01:19:04,200
Hey. Where are you going?
1232
01:19:09,938 --> 01:19:10,976
-Wait here. -Wha--
1233
01:19:12,073 --> 01:19:13,238
You snogged my sister
1234
01:19:13,274 --> 01:19:14,847
and I'm supposed to just let it go.
1235
01:19:14,882 --> 01:19:17,015
How many times do I got to tell ya...
1236
01:19:17,050 --> 01:19:19,376
...but you just put your head in the sand
1237
01:19:19,412 --> 01:19:20,553
and think everything's gone away.
1238
01:19:20,588 --> 01:19:23,087
Go away. Just ignoring everything.
1239
01:19:23,123 --> 01:19:25,622
-When we have to talk-- -Shut up, woman, for God's sake.
1240
01:19:25,657 --> 01:19:28,153
Just let it go. Please.
1241
01:19:28,188 --> 01:19:29,330
-All night. -Let it go?
1242
01:19:29,365 --> 01:19:30,762
You've been at me all night.
1243
01:19:30,797 --> 01:19:32,927
You've snogged my sister.
1244
01:19:32,962 --> 01:19:34,359
You want me to just let it go.
1245
01:19:34,394 --> 01:19:36,969
Number one. It was five years ago.
1246
01:19:37,004 --> 01:19:39,135
- Can you not let it go? - My sister.
1247
01:19:39,170 --> 01:19:40,970
- Number two... - My sister!
1248
01:19:41,005 --> 01:19:43,673
...I was drunk. She was drunk.
1249
01:19:43,708 --> 01:19:45,074
Number three.
1250
01:19:45,109 --> 01:19:48,175
She was terrible in bed, her breath stunk...
1251
01:19:48,210 --> 01:19:50,882
Being an adult... You know, I mean...
1252
01:19:50,917 --> 01:19:52,714
Relationships are just so damn complicated.
1253
01:19:52,749 --> 01:19:54,379
Shh. Just listen.
1254
01:19:54,414 --> 01:19:56,119
...vomit-flavored stick...
1255
01:19:56,155 --> 01:19:57,620
All I want to do is just get some sleep.
1256
01:19:57,655 --> 01:19:59,723
Please. I beg you.
1257
01:19:59,758 --> 01:20:02,022
Yeah. Sweet dreams.
1258
01:20:02,057 --> 01:20:03,622
Ah, shut up, woman.
1259
01:20:03,657 --> 01:20:05,423
Wait. You're not seriously gonna grab our stuff, are you?
1260
01:20:05,459 --> 01:20:07,532
I'm seriously going to grab our stuff.
1261
01:20:07,567 --> 01:20:10,828
Okay. Here's the plan.
1262
01:20:10,863 --> 01:20:13,307
I'm going to grab their bag and I'm gonna toss it to you.
1263
01:20:13,342 --> 01:20:14,974
Just like a rugby ball.
1264
01:20:15,009 --> 01:20:16,903
Then we're both just going to sprint up to our tent.
1265
01:20:16,938 --> 01:20:18,405
-Yeah? -What?
1266
01:20:18,440 --> 01:20:19,937
And lead them straight back to our headquarters?
1267
01:20:19,972 --> 01:20:21,238
Oh, yeah.
1268
01:20:21,273 --> 01:20:22,707
You're totally right.
1269
01:20:25,010 --> 01:20:26,281
Okay.
1270
01:20:26,316 --> 01:20:28,212
I'm going to run up to that high ground there.
1271
01:20:28,247 --> 01:20:29,213
What if they catch us?
1272
01:20:29,248 --> 01:20:30,491
-They won't. -Why?
1273
01:20:30,526 --> 01:20:32,121
'Cause I'm gonna throw their boots
1274
01:20:32,156 --> 01:20:34,361
into the bush and snap the tent zipper off.
1275
01:20:34,396 --> 01:20:35,595
Okay. That's officially
1276
01:20:35,631 --> 01:20:36,628
the craziest thing I've ever heard.
1277
01:20:36,664 --> 01:20:38,693
I know. I'm bloody jazzed, too.
1278
01:20:40,699 --> 01:20:41,827
Okay.
1279
01:20:41,863 --> 01:20:43,799
Hear that?
1280
01:20:43,834 --> 01:20:45,529
They're snoring already.
1281
01:20:45,564 --> 01:20:47,835
We need to move with maximum speed
1282
01:20:47,871 --> 01:20:49,407
and maximum stealth.
1283
01:20:49,442 --> 01:20:51,008
Go. Go. Go.
1284
01:20:51,043 --> 01:20:52,737
-Wait, wait, wait. - No, no, no.
1285
01:20:53,775 --> 01:20:55,476
Jesus!
1286
01:21:19,703 --> 01:21:22,074
Shh... shh.
1287
01:21:37,692 --> 01:21:40,255
- Ah.
1288
01:21:40,291 --> 01:21:41,689
- What's going on? - Go, Go!
1289
01:21:41,725 --> 01:21:43,429
Intruders!
1290
01:21:43,465 --> 01:21:44,662
You thieving swines!
1291
01:21:44,697 --> 01:21:45,959
I'm gonna kill youse!
1292
01:21:45,994 --> 01:21:47,902
I'll kill you! Ah!
1293
01:21:50,900 --> 01:21:52,269
Get them, Jethro.
1294
01:21:53,434 --> 01:21:55,508
It's our property now!
1295
01:21:59,711 --> 01:22:01,877
Come here, boy.
1296
01:22:01,912 --> 01:22:04,044
I'll kill youse! Kill ya!
1297
01:22:04,079 --> 01:22:05,719
That's my stuff!
1298
01:22:05,754 --> 01:22:08,047
-He's going to catch us! -No, he's not.
1299
01:22:08,083 --> 01:22:09,917
How can you be sure?
1300
01:22:09,953 --> 01:22:11,684
Look at the ground!
1301
01:22:13,187 --> 01:22:14,528
Come back here!
1302
01:22:14,563 --> 01:22:16,524
-Ah... Ah.
1303
01:22:21,126 --> 01:22:22,731
Here!
1304
01:22:24,734 --> 01:22:26,338
Ah!
1305
01:22:29,542 --> 01:22:31,344
Ah!
1306
01:22:41,324 --> 01:22:42,421
Ooh.
1307
01:22:48,159 --> 01:22:49,958
Listen, you muppets!
1308
01:22:49,994 --> 01:22:51,631
It wasn't personal before,
1309
01:22:51,667 --> 01:22:54,859
but it's really personal now!
1310
01:22:56,102 --> 01:23:00,473
Ohh, I've made a catastrophic blunder.
1311
01:23:00,509 --> 01:23:02,334
What? Why?
1312
01:23:02,369 --> 01:23:04,675
I appeared to have led us...
1313
01:23:06,613 --> 01:23:07,842
to a cliff-edge.
1314
01:23:07,877 --> 01:23:08,906
Oh.
1315
01:23:18,953 --> 01:23:20,225
Um...
1316
01:23:27,566 --> 01:23:28,695
Well...
1317
01:23:30,232 --> 01:23:32,366
I guess we could hide out.
1318
01:23:32,402 --> 01:23:35,041
And slowly make our way back to camp.
1319
01:23:35,076 --> 01:23:37,005
We need to make sure we've still got the proof.
1320
01:23:37,041 --> 01:23:38,738
-Get the camera. -Right.
1321
01:23:42,878 --> 01:23:43,908
Here.
1322
01:23:46,180 --> 01:23:47,351
Okay.
1323
01:23:48,447 --> 01:23:50,116
Okay, Darling.
1324
01:23:50,151 --> 01:23:51,383
Looking great.
1325
01:23:52,962 --> 01:23:54,526
That's it, lovely, give me a bit more hair.
1326
01:23:54,562 --> 01:23:56,161
How's that?
1327
01:23:56,196 --> 01:23:57,656
Oh, you look beautiful. Just now...
1328
01:23:57,691 --> 01:23:59,190
Flick it, flick it like your sister.
1329
01:24:00,360 --> 01:24:01,592
What did you say?
1330
01:24:01,628 --> 01:24:02,797
I said, flick your hair.
1331
01:24:02,832 --> 01:24:04,104
What?
1332
01:24:07,543 --> 01:24:08,768
They recorded over it.
1333
01:24:13,376 --> 01:24:15,244
And they drained the bloody battery.
1334
01:24:15,279 --> 01:24:17,810
Fifty grand. Gone again.
1335
01:24:20,080 --> 01:24:21,384
Strawn?
1336
01:24:21,420 --> 01:24:24,288
We may have some more pressing issues right now.
1337
01:24:24,324 --> 01:24:26,489
What could possibly be more pressing than this?
1338
01:24:29,161 --> 01:24:31,697
Oh, this is definitely more pressing.
1339
01:24:31,733 --> 01:24:33,661
Yeah, my thoughts exactly.
1340
01:24:35,434 --> 01:24:37,970
He looks hungry. They get bold when they're hungry.
1341
01:24:38,005 --> 01:24:40,239
Maybe there's some food in their bag.
1342
01:24:41,743 --> 01:24:43,201
Reach in slowly and have a look.
1343
01:24:46,210 --> 01:24:48,247
- Anything? -Huh, huh.
1344
01:24:52,251 --> 01:24:53,945
Let's see if they like ham sandwiches.
1345
01:25:11,907 --> 01:25:13,331
All right, come on. We gotta move.
1346
01:25:16,271 --> 01:25:18,574
-No!
1347
01:25:25,149 --> 01:25:27,214
Um, can panthers climb ropes?
1348
01:25:28,755 --> 01:25:29,887
No, they can't.
1349
01:25:29,922 --> 01:25:30,949
Alright, get on.
1350
01:25:33,991 --> 01:25:35,453
Go, go, go, go.
1351
01:25:41,332 --> 01:25:42,870
-Don't stop moving.
1352
01:25:45,100 --> 01:25:46,503
Nice kitty!
1353
01:25:53,246 --> 01:25:56,945
- Just keep going.
1354
01:25:56,980 --> 01:25:58,218
Don't stop!
1355
01:26:10,524 --> 01:26:12,126
He's trying to tear the rope!
1356
01:26:21,335 --> 01:26:22,908
Ah!
1357
01:26:22,943 --> 01:26:24,574
We're gonna make it.
1358
01:26:26,913 --> 01:26:28,746
Ow. Ow, my hands hurt.
1359
01:26:28,782 --> 01:26:30,378
I can't hold on.
1360
01:26:30,413 --> 01:26:31,518
-You can do it. - Ah.
1361
01:26:31,553 --> 01:26:32,649
Keep going.
1362
01:26:32,685 --> 01:26:33,785
Ow!
1363
01:26:36,482 --> 01:26:37,549
I can't do it.
1364
01:26:37,584 --> 01:26:39,250
Yes, you can. You got this.
1365
01:26:44,527 --> 01:26:46,256
You've got it, it's okay.
1366
01:26:46,292 --> 01:26:47,333
Ah!
1367
01:26:49,934 --> 01:26:51,297
I'm coming.
1368
01:26:54,709 --> 01:26:56,041
Now, hold on!
1369
01:26:57,978 --> 01:26:59,378
No, no, no, no, no.
1370
01:27:00,714 --> 01:27:01,846
No!
1371
01:27:01,881 --> 01:27:03,107
Help me!
1372
01:27:04,114 --> 01:27:05,318
Help!
1373
01:27:06,779 --> 01:27:08,285
- Strawn! -I'm coming.
1374
01:27:08,320 --> 01:27:11,923
- Mildred!
1375
01:27:11,958 --> 01:27:13,824
I'm slipping.
1376
01:27:13,860 --> 01:27:15,519
Don't let go.
1377
01:27:15,555 --> 01:27:16,960
No!
1378
01:27:16,996 --> 01:27:18,122
No, no, no!
1379
01:27:20,964 --> 01:27:21,964
Hold on!
1380
01:27:22,000 --> 01:27:24,033
Strawn! Help!
1381
01:27:24,068 --> 01:27:26,200
Mildred!
1382
01:27:29,241 --> 01:27:31,606
-Don't let go!
1383
01:27:31,642 --> 01:27:34,407
- Ah, I got you. - No!
1384
01:27:34,442 --> 01:27:35,915
I got you. Look at me.
1385
01:27:35,950 --> 01:27:37,016
-Don't let it-- -Mildred!
1386
01:27:37,051 --> 01:27:38,813
-Mildred, look at me. -Don't...
1387
01:27:41,321 --> 01:27:43,952
Wrist strength of a professional wrestler.
1388
01:27:43,987 --> 01:27:45,325
Remember?
1389
01:27:48,863 --> 01:27:51,789
Now, just stay calm.
1390
01:27:51,825 --> 01:27:53,296
When you're ready, I want you to...
1391
01:27:58,831 --> 01:28:00,673
- No!
1392
01:28:48,480 --> 01:28:50,282
Mildred.
1393
01:28:53,386 --> 01:28:54,992
Ah!
1394
01:28:56,698 --> 01:28:57,727
Ah!
1395
01:29:01,636 --> 01:29:03,330
Mildred!
1396
01:29:05,403 --> 01:29:07,365
Strawn, help me, help me, please!
1397
01:29:07,400 --> 01:29:08,633
Oh, God!
1398
01:29:08,668 --> 01:29:10,736
Don't move it.
1399
01:29:12,540 --> 01:29:14,343
- Jesus. -Help!
1400
01:29:14,378 --> 01:29:15,772
It's gonna be okay, Mildred.
1401
01:29:15,807 --> 01:29:17,784
You're gonna be fine.
1402
01:29:17,820 --> 01:29:19,012
Mushrooms.
1403
01:29:20,149 --> 01:29:21,814
Huh?
1404
01:29:21,849 --> 01:29:23,151
Why are you talking about mushrooms?
1405
01:29:23,187 --> 01:29:24,314
For the pain.
1406
01:29:26,089 --> 01:29:27,452
Please.
1407
01:29:27,487 --> 01:29:28,791
Right. Yeah.
1408
01:29:32,490 --> 01:29:35,534
- Come on. Come on!
1409
01:29:40,235 --> 01:29:41,441
Ha!
1410
01:29:42,843 --> 01:29:44,543
Oh, damn it.
1411
01:29:45,772 --> 01:29:48,781
-Uh... - Strawn!
1412
01:29:48,817 --> 01:29:50,210
Ah. Screw it!
1413
01:29:58,688 --> 01:30:01,621
I got all of them. Um, which ones?
1414
01:30:01,656 --> 01:30:04,358
Green and... Green and black.
1415
01:30:04,394 --> 01:30:07,326
This? Are you sure?
1416
01:30:07,361 --> 01:30:08,666
Yeah.
1417
01:30:18,242 --> 01:30:19,446
Hold my hand.
1418
01:30:29,848 --> 01:30:31,821
I'm so... so sorry.
1419
01:30:42,165 --> 01:30:43,327
Mildred?
1420
01:30:55,983 --> 01:30:57,044
Wake up.
1421
01:30:59,953 --> 01:31:00,982
Hey there.
1422
01:31:02,682 --> 01:31:03,919
Welcome back.
1423
01:31:04,958 --> 01:31:06,020
Feel fizzy.
1424
01:31:12,297 --> 01:31:13,533
What are you thinking?
1425
01:31:14,668 --> 01:31:17,498
I'm thinking that, between getting you kidnapped,
1426
01:31:17,533 --> 01:31:19,202
attacked by a panther,
1427
01:31:19,238 --> 01:31:20,700
thrown off a cliff,
1428
01:31:20,735 --> 01:31:23,042
and feeding you weird mushrooms,
1429
01:31:23,077 --> 01:31:24,542
I've secured my place
1430
01:31:24,578 --> 01:31:26,271
on the Mount Rushmore of disappointing dads.
1431
01:31:27,312 --> 01:31:29,344
Yeah, that's great.
1432
01:31:29,379 --> 01:31:31,113
That's all great.
1433
01:31:31,149 --> 01:31:32,742
I'm great.
1434
01:31:32,778 --> 01:31:33,982
You're great.
1435
01:31:35,585 --> 01:31:37,485
The planet is really great.
1436
01:31:37,520 --> 01:31:39,922
It's all so bloody great.
1437
01:31:43,660 --> 01:31:45,023
Now might be a good time to get
1438
01:31:45,058 --> 01:31:47,629
that great, big, bloody tree off my legs.
1439
01:31:47,664 --> 01:31:49,767
-Come on, Dad.
1440
01:31:51,500 --> 01:31:53,204
What did you say?
1441
01:31:53,239 --> 01:31:55,168
Huh? Nothing.
1442
01:31:56,902 --> 01:31:58,105
You called me "Dad."
1443
01:31:59,143 --> 01:32:00,206
Did I?
1444
01:32:01,280 --> 01:32:02,648
Yeah, you did.
1445
01:32:09,483 --> 01:32:11,120
Ready?
1446
01:32:11,155 --> 01:32:12,317
Alright.
1447
01:32:20,802 --> 01:32:22,000
Come on.
1448
01:32:25,906 --> 01:32:27,400
Come on!
1449
01:32:30,936 --> 01:32:32,810
I... I can't do it.
1450
01:32:33,982 --> 01:32:35,376
It's too heavy.
1451
01:32:35,412 --> 01:32:36,715
Ace of diamonds.
1452
01:32:39,980 --> 01:32:41,621
-What? -It's the magic trick...
1453
01:32:43,024 --> 01:32:44,085
on the window,
1454
01:32:45,157 --> 01:32:46,659
when we met.
1455
01:32:48,228 --> 01:32:51,389
I lied. I lied to you.
1456
01:32:55,432 --> 01:32:57,399
It was my card.
1457
01:32:59,702 --> 01:33:01,575
Come on, Dad. You can do this.
1458
01:33:04,941 --> 01:33:07,614
"Believe in magic," that's what you said.
1459
01:34:23,491 --> 01:34:25,087
I've had enough of camping.
1460
01:34:26,425 --> 01:34:27,694
Can we go home now?
1461
01:34:29,494 --> 01:34:30,620
What are the magic words?
1462
01:34:33,332 --> 01:34:34,624
I love you...
1463
01:34:35,764 --> 01:34:36,868
with all of my heart.
1464
01:34:51,275 --> 01:34:53,445
What are you doing?
1465
01:34:53,480 --> 01:34:55,312
Well, you might not be familiar with this,
1466
01:34:55,348 --> 01:34:57,985
this is called keeping your kit clean.
1467
01:34:58,020 --> 01:34:59,755
Just chuck it in the car.
1468
01:34:59,790 --> 01:35:01,959
You got to be kidding me.
1469
01:35:03,858 --> 01:35:06,093
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
1470
01:35:06,129 --> 01:35:08,299
Okay, look, just shut up, Jethro.
1471
01:35:08,334 --> 01:35:09,401
Shut up for ever.
1472
01:35:09,436 --> 01:35:10,996
Okay, okay, I got it.
1473
01:35:11,031 --> 01:35:12,663
No, I'm driving.
1474
01:35:12,698 --> 01:35:14,965
Why do you keep banging on about that? On and on and on?
1475
01:35:15,001 --> 01:35:17,075
I drive...
1476
01:35:17,110 --> 01:35:19,409
Oi, oi...
1477
01:35:19,445 --> 01:35:20,874
What are you doing?
1478
01:35:22,413 --> 01:35:23,445
Come here.
1479
01:35:23,480 --> 01:35:25,485
Ah... Oi...
1480
01:35:25,520 --> 01:35:27,543
That's my Plymouth!
1481
01:35:27,579 --> 01:35:29,388
Jethro, just grab the car.
1482
01:35:29,424 --> 01:35:31,751
Go easy on the clutch!
1483
01:35:31,787 --> 01:35:33,626
Useless!
1484
01:35:33,662 --> 01:35:37,555
Those bloody muppets are even worse than us.
1485
01:35:38,797 --> 01:35:41,726
Ah! My God. Oh, my God.
1486
01:35:45,204 --> 01:35:46,731
Whoo!
1487
01:35:46,767 --> 01:35:48,040
It's okay.
1488
01:35:49,267 --> 01:35:51,208
Everything's gonna be okay.
1489
01:35:51,244 --> 01:35:52,603
I promise.
1490
01:36:33,150 --> 01:36:35,653
Smile for your mum. She'll never believe this.
1491
01:36:35,689 --> 01:36:37,147
Shouldn't you be watching the road?
1492
01:36:37,182 --> 01:36:38,616
-Dad?
1493
01:36:39,692 --> 01:36:41,126
- Dad?
1494
01:36:41,161 --> 01:36:42,788
Oh, God!
1495
01:37:00,578 --> 01:37:01,606
Hm.
1496
01:37:33,304 --> 01:37:34,411
Dad?
1497
01:37:34,446 --> 01:37:35,706
Hm.
1498
01:37:51,530 --> 01:37:52,822
Mum.
1499
01:38:03,168 --> 01:38:04,375
Jonesie.
1500
01:38:18,818 --> 01:38:20,991
Smile for your mum. She'll never believe this.
1501
01:38:21,026 --> 01:38:22,858
Shouldn't you be watching the road?
1502
01:38:22,893 --> 01:38:24,297
- Dad!
1503
01:38:24,332 --> 01:38:25,331
Dad!
1504
01:38:25,367 --> 01:38:26,629
Oh, snap!
1505
01:39:07,604 --> 01:39:10,505
The hunt is on for a mysterious black cat,
1506
01:39:10,540 --> 01:39:13,373
which was spotted prowling on a Mid Canterbury farm.
1507
01:39:13,409 --> 01:39:15,715
Locals are convinced, it was a panther.
1508
01:39:15,750 --> 01:39:17,209
Just looked like a big, black cat,
1509
01:39:17,244 --> 01:39:18,741
really, it was yeah, just...
1510
01:39:18,776 --> 01:39:20,779
It's quite long, had a big long tail...
1511
01:39:20,815 --> 01:39:23,383
Like, it had that cat walk, you know, normally you can tell
1512
01:39:23,418 --> 01:39:25,289
the difference between a dog and a cat.
1513
01:39:25,325 --> 01:39:27,019
But no, definitely, definitely wouldn't have been a dog.
1514
01:39:27,055 --> 01:39:28,594
Cat poo with, um,
1515
01:39:28,629 --> 01:39:31,124
bits of fur or bone in it.
1516
01:39:31,160 --> 01:39:34,256
Um, perhaps remains of prey...
1517
01:39:34,292 --> 01:39:35,331
Hmm.
1518
01:39:36,565 --> 01:39:38,697
Yeah, I see it, I see it. That's pretty big.
1519
01:39:40,600 --> 01:39:42,799
-That's not a cat. - Hey?
1520
01:39:42,835 --> 01:39:44,538
That isn't a cat. That's huge!
100055
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