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1
00:00:00,959 --> 00:00:01,959
Mr Blake.
2
00:00:03,120 --> 00:00:04,720
(imitating a female voice)
Oh, hi, Mr, there,
3
00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:06,319
here, I have your medication here.
4
00:00:06,360 --> 00:00:09,480
Yeah, you take two of these, and
you shove them straight up your...
5
00:00:09,519 --> 00:00:10,839
(in a deep voice) Fuck sake!
6
00:00:12,760 --> 00:00:13,959
Dowling?
7
00:00:14,160 --> 00:00:16,360
(in the female voice)
Oh, not this gobshite again!
8
00:00:16,440 --> 00:00:18,279
(in a deep voice) How's it going?
I woke up this morning
9
00:00:18,319 --> 00:00:21,040
with me arse where me dick should be.
10
00:00:21,120 --> 00:00:23,839
(in his normal voice) And for fuck's
sake, stop thinking about ass stuff.
11
00:00:23,879 --> 00:00:25,120
No one has ass stuff.
12
00:00:25,279 --> 00:00:26,559
(sighs)
13
00:00:31,319 --> 00:00:34,120
Shit, that's me. (laughs) Okay.
14
00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:35,559
Dinosaur pasta?
15
00:00:35,599 --> 00:00:37,400
I'm good. I'm just here
to hear about my ass stuff.
16
00:00:37,480 --> 00:00:39,559
Okay, no worries. We're gonna
look after you today, okay?
17
00:00:39,639 --> 00:00:40,959
Thank you. If you'd like
to take a seat over here.
18
00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:42,319
Great. Thank you.
19
00:00:42,879 --> 00:00:45,800
And, oh, she's ready
to see you, Mr...?
20
00:00:45,839 --> 00:00:47,199
Oh, sorry.
21
00:00:47,239 --> 00:00:49,040
Uh... My name is...
22
00:00:49,160 --> 00:00:52,239
♪ I had my shit in the closet
23
00:00:52,319 --> 00:00:55,559
♪ I got some space if you wanted ♪
24
00:01:02,040 --> 00:01:04,519
Wow, what a lovely big empty room.
25
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:06,879
I'm sure your patients feel
really comfortable here.
26
00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:09,760
What do you want?
27
00:01:11,639 --> 00:01:13,080
I have a medical issue.
28
00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:14,800
You know you only get a lollipop
29
00:01:14,839 --> 00:01:16,360
if you're a child.
I don't want a lollypop.
30
00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:17,760
And I don't think you should be
giving them out anymore.
31
00:01:17,800 --> 00:01:18,800
Like, it's really weird.
32
00:01:18,839 --> 00:01:20,120
It's good for children
to have an incentive.
33
00:01:20,199 --> 00:01:22,559
Yeah, like the time you said
we'd go to Disneyland
34
00:01:22,599 --> 00:01:23,919
if I did all my homework
for the week?
35
00:01:23,959 --> 00:01:25,160
That was your father, actually.
36
00:01:25,199 --> 00:01:26,279
And then when I didn't,
37
00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:29,319
you printed out a picture
of Mickey Mouse and then shredded it
38
00:01:29,360 --> 00:01:30,360
in front of me.
39
00:01:30,959 --> 00:01:32,720
I had you very young.
40
00:01:32,919 --> 00:01:34,480
Great parenting.
So good.
41
00:01:34,559 --> 00:01:36,720
Okay, so what can I help you with
today?
42
00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:41,319
I think I have ADHD.
Mm-hmm.
43
00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:44,720
No, you don't.
Hah! Wow.
44
00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:45,839
I know you.
45
00:01:45,879 --> 00:01:48,040
So don't you think that might
be exactly the problem?
46
00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:49,120
Like, you're not objective.
47
00:01:49,199 --> 00:01:50,559
No, the problem is,
and always has been,
48
00:01:50,599 --> 00:01:51,680
that you have no motivation.
49
00:01:51,760 --> 00:01:53,959
You want to blame
everyone else, as always.
50
00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:56,319
A, wrong.
51
00:01:57,080 --> 00:01:58,919
And B, like what?
52
00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,639
If I was a completely
different person
53
00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:02,760
and I just walked in here and I was
describing the same symptoms,
54
00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:04,400
what would you say then?
But you're not.
55
00:02:04,440 --> 00:02:07,440
(laughs)
See, I knew this would happen.
56
00:02:07,879 --> 00:02:09,360
Oh, no, please.
57
00:02:09,919 --> 00:02:11,160
Please, not him.
58
00:02:11,199 --> 00:02:13,919
Ahoy.
Christ.
59
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,360
Yeah, right I be feeling like I...
60
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:18,879
I don't know, like just lost
me north star at the moment.
61
00:02:18,959 --> 00:02:23,919
And like my flatmates are worried
I can't take home any, you know,
62
00:02:23,959 --> 00:02:25,279
what's the fucking
other word for treasure?
63
00:02:25,360 --> 00:02:29,400
Like, I can never remember what time
I'm supposed to be pillaging at.
64
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:30,680
And like...
I will refer you.
65
00:02:30,760 --> 00:02:32,919
What is the other fucking
word for treasure?
66
00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,040
See, I'm always forgetting things.
Enough.
67
00:02:35,120 --> 00:02:36,440
Hang on, wait.
No, you said refer.
68
00:02:36,519 --> 00:02:37,639
Yeah, you will.
69
00:02:38,720 --> 00:02:41,680
With the express understanding
that this is a long process,
70
00:02:41,760 --> 00:02:43,639
it requires
a huge amount of patience,
71
00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:44,959
and there's no guarantee
72
00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:46,519
that you will get the answers
that you're looking for.
73
00:02:46,599 --> 00:02:48,080
And even if you do,
74
00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:51,440
it might not change your life
the way that you hope it will.
75
00:02:51,519 --> 00:02:52,879
Okay?
76
00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:54,680
Okay.
77
00:02:54,839 --> 00:02:55,919
Okay.
78
00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:58,080
Thanks, ma'am.
Don't call me ma'am.
79
00:02:58,160 --> 00:03:00,800
Thanks, mommy.
Don't call me mommy.
80
00:03:01,760 --> 00:03:04,639
Mr. Peters. Take a seat.
81
00:03:07,199 --> 00:03:08,959
Yeah, I'm sorry.
It's not good news.
82
00:03:09,040 --> 00:03:11,000
It appears to have spread to your...
83
00:03:11,040 --> 00:03:13,239
Booty, that's
the other word for treasure.
84
00:03:13,319 --> 00:03:15,040
Get out. Get out.
85
00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:17,120
Sorry for your loss.
86
00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:24,680
Welcome back to Kane is Able.
87
00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:27,000
Look, I'm just glad he's
back in the comedy scene.
88
00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:28,239
It's this time he paid his dues.
89
00:03:28,319 --> 00:03:30,080
Anyone alive or dead?
90
00:03:30,519 --> 00:03:32,360
Probably me ma,
so I have to see her again.
91
00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:33,879
Zoom in on JFK's school.
92
00:03:33,959 --> 00:03:35,839
A week and a half, The Woke Shop.
93
00:03:35,919 --> 00:03:38,559
I want you to all down there.
We've got an amazing lineup.
94
00:03:38,639 --> 00:03:40,919
We have got the laughing Pakistani.
95
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,120
We have got fresh out the box.
96
00:03:43,199 --> 00:03:45,199
Well, he is very funny.
He does this thing
97
00:03:45,279 --> 00:03:48,319
where he puts on a dress and just
pretends that he's an English man.
98
00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:50,319
You've probably seen his video.
Very funny.
99
00:03:50,400 --> 00:03:53,000
And if you like that...
(screams) Fuck!
100
00:03:57,559 --> 00:04:00,279
Not like Oliver, but like Ollie.
101
00:04:01,360 --> 00:04:02,400
No.
102
00:04:02,480 --> 00:04:04,959
Ollie is the most colonial
name I've ever heard.
103
00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:08,199
It literally sounds like he
drinks soup from the tit.
104
00:04:08,239 --> 00:04:11,959
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck,
105
00:04:14,319 --> 00:04:17,440
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck,
106
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:20,080
Hey! I don't know
whether you realise,
107
00:04:20,120 --> 00:04:22,440
but you're saying fuck
out loud a lot, so...
108
00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:24,239
I just thought I checked in.
109
00:04:24,279 --> 00:04:26,000
(muffled) Ah, I don't have anything.
Any what?
110
00:04:26,040 --> 00:04:27,720
Material, for the gig!
111
00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:29,559
Joe Kane is gonna ruin me.
112
00:04:29,599 --> 00:04:33,239
Ah, I bet you do, though.
Just... You're funny. Be funny.
113
00:04:33,319 --> 00:04:34,959
Do you remember that time
in primary school
114
00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:37,239
when I told Brian Dermody I knew
everything about Ancient Egypt
115
00:04:37,279 --> 00:04:38,440
and I actually knew fuck all.
116
00:04:38,519 --> 00:04:39,919
And then Mr. Ryan overheard me,
117
00:04:39,959 --> 00:04:41,480
made me give
a presentation in front of the class.
118
00:04:41,559 --> 00:04:43,120
Yeah, didn't you say
something weird,
119
00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:45,599
like they wanted
to shag cats or something?
120
00:04:45,639 --> 00:04:47,040
No, I said they revered cats,
121
00:04:47,080 --> 00:04:49,120
so someone
had probably bred with them.
122
00:04:49,199 --> 00:04:50,519
And then Mr. Ryan said
that wasn't true.
123
00:04:50,599 --> 00:04:52,040
And I kept saying,
How do you explain this thing?
124
00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:54,279
And I got so mad at him
I tried to piss myself.
125
00:04:54,360 --> 00:04:57,199
Why? I wanted to make him feel bad,
but I couldn't pee.
126
00:04:57,279 --> 00:04:59,639
So I just stood there getting redder
and redder and redder,
127
00:04:59,720 --> 00:05:01,879
and then my willy's started to hurt.
Okay, okay, stop.
128
00:05:01,919 --> 00:05:02,919
See, the problem there,
129
00:05:02,959 --> 00:05:06,080
right, was that you didn't actually
know anything about ancient Egypt.
130
00:05:06,120 --> 00:05:07,959
Yeah...
But you do know this stuff, right?
131
00:05:08,040 --> 00:05:10,319
You do.
It's all in there subconsciously.
132
00:05:10,400 --> 00:05:12,160
You just have to let it out.
133
00:05:12,239 --> 00:05:13,639
But I don't think
I should be letting it out
134
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:17,400
for the first time on stage
in front of 400 people. So don't.
135
00:05:18,519 --> 00:05:19,760
Sorry, sorry.
136
00:05:20,239 --> 00:05:22,879
No, it's not like...
Just enjoy yourself.
137
00:05:22,959 --> 00:05:24,519
Shut the fuck up, Jack.
Jack.
138
00:05:24,559 --> 00:05:25,919
Eh... Hah!
139
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,599
No, like... Ha ha ha.
140
00:05:27,680 --> 00:05:29,239
Sorry, just...
141
00:05:30,440 --> 00:05:31,440
That's mine.
142
00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:35,160
(clears her throat)
143
00:05:35,199 --> 00:05:36,199
Ugh!
144
00:05:36,559 --> 00:05:38,400
Sorry about that.
Okay. Uhm...
145
00:05:38,440 --> 00:05:40,680
So. Okay.
146
00:05:41,199 --> 00:05:42,440
Eeeh!
147
00:05:47,279 --> 00:05:48,360
(door closes)
148
00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:51,120
Is he coming back?
No.
149
00:05:51,519 --> 00:05:53,199
♪♪
150
00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:10,480
Whoa!
Shit, sorry.
151
00:06:10,599 --> 00:06:12,279
No, you're okay.
Rick?
152
00:06:13,559 --> 00:06:14,919
Do we know each other?
153
00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:18,480
Your name tag.
Oh, yeah.
154
00:06:18,559 --> 00:06:20,559
I forget I have that on sometimes.
155
00:06:20,639 --> 00:06:22,559
Must be a tough watch.
156
00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:25,040
Watching everyone.
157
00:06:25,680 --> 00:06:26,919
See your name tag.
158
00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:28,599
Yeah.
Can I help you with anything?
159
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:29,839
Yeah.
160
00:06:29,919 --> 00:06:33,000
I need to buy some flowers.
161
00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:34,319
Flowers?
162
00:06:34,360 --> 00:06:35,760
Okay, I don't know
where the flowers are,
163
00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:36,839
but my colleague Rebecca does.
164
00:06:36,919 --> 00:06:38,680
Rebecca? Don't worry about it.
Don't worry about it.
165
00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:40,599
Forget about it. Forget it.
Yeah?
166
00:06:41,919 --> 00:06:44,080
So this man is looking for flowers.
167
00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:45,400
Can you tell him where they are.
168
00:06:46,080 --> 00:06:47,519
What do you need flowers for?
169
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,480
I need to apologise to someone.
170
00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:52,720
What'd you do?
I was an asshole.
171
00:06:54,319 --> 00:06:55,720
And impatient.
172
00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:59,680
Yeah, and unappreciative
and pretty rude, I'd imagine.
173
00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:02,559
Yeah, all those things.
And if she don't like flowers?
174
00:07:02,639 --> 00:07:04,919
It's the thought that counts?
175
00:07:05,879 --> 00:07:08,160
Yeah, okay.
Problem solved then.
176
00:07:08,239 --> 00:07:09,760
Well, I think flowers
are a great idea.
177
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:10,959
Would you fuck off?
178
00:07:14,239 --> 00:07:15,360
Wow.
179
00:07:16,639 --> 00:07:19,559
When are you going to stop leading
me on and kill him already?
180
00:07:19,639 --> 00:07:20,879
Would that impress you?
181
00:07:20,959 --> 00:07:22,839
It doesn't take that much.
182
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,559
I'd be impressed by a cup of coffee.
Oh.
183
00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:27,000
Do you want to hang out then?
184
00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:30,160
No.
Oh. Okay.
185
00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:32,879
I just actually have
to do some work today.
186
00:07:32,919 --> 00:07:34,879
You know, because I got
in shit the last time.
187
00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:38,480
I could hang out after.
Class.
188
00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:41,120
Yes. Cool. Cool.
189
00:07:41,199 --> 00:07:44,120
So like four hours?
190
00:07:44,160 --> 00:07:46,120
Four hours?
It's not gonna work for me.
191
00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:49,319
I got like 10% battery,
and I will find a place in here.
192
00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:50,639
I'm going to charge it.
193
00:07:50,720 --> 00:07:53,480
Okay.
So see you in...
194
00:07:53,559 --> 00:07:55,559
Four hours.
Correct.
195
00:08:00,199 --> 00:08:01,720
(grunts)
196
00:08:37,919 --> 00:08:39,120
Is that real?
197
00:08:40,879 --> 00:08:42,639
Oh, I don't work here.
198
00:09:00,120 --> 00:09:03,360
(dog barking)
199
00:09:08,360 --> 00:09:10,639
(barking continues)
200
00:09:27,040 --> 00:09:28,599
Hey, buddy.
201
00:09:28,680 --> 00:09:30,319
Sit.
202
00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:34,080
Okay.
203
00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:35,480
Paw?
204
00:09:37,639 --> 00:09:38,680
Belly?
205
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:43,480
Do you always do
what other people tell you?
206
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,239
No.
207
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:48,919
Yes. Yeah, I don't know.
208
00:09:48,959 --> 00:09:52,400
I guess I just presume
other people are right.
209
00:09:52,440 --> 00:09:55,480
They're right or you're wrong?
210
00:09:57,239 --> 00:09:58,800
Aren't those the same thing?
211
00:09:59,279 --> 00:10:00,319
No.
212
00:10:01,879 --> 00:10:04,480
How are you here?
Same reason you are.
213
00:10:04,519 --> 00:10:06,639
Oh, you fancy Rebecca as well? Oof.
214
00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:07,839
Hands off. Paws off.
215
00:10:07,879 --> 00:10:09,760
No. I'm a dog.
216
00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:11,839
Oh, you mean like, metaphorically?
217
00:10:11,879 --> 00:10:15,160
Let's talk about your decisions.
Comedy.
218
00:10:15,199 --> 00:10:17,959
Decisions?
Like, what decisions?
219
00:10:18,239 --> 00:10:19,599
Why do you want to do this?
220
00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:22,160
Like, everything just happens,
and I go along,
221
00:10:22,199 --> 00:10:26,040
and I worry that if I choose
something that I actually want,
222
00:10:26,080 --> 00:10:28,879
well, that's just going to be
the wrong thing because I chose it.
223
00:10:28,919 --> 00:10:31,279
What do I know? It sounds
like you don't trust yourself.
224
00:10:31,639 --> 00:10:32,639
I don't know myself.
225
00:10:33,120 --> 00:10:35,080
I know I don't like myself.
226
00:10:37,839 --> 00:10:39,639
And I know I can't believe myself.
227
00:10:45,519 --> 00:10:46,959
And I know I'm...
228
00:10:48,319 --> 00:10:49,760
just like...
229
00:10:50,559 --> 00:10:51,959
wasting everyone's time.
230
00:10:55,239 --> 00:10:56,239
Like...
231
00:10:56,279 --> 00:10:58,800
Like burdening them.
Okay.
232
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:00,120
Why?
233
00:11:00,199 --> 00:11:01,680
(sighs) I don't...
234
00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:03,000
I don't want to think about that.
235
00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:04,839
You can always choose
something else.
236
00:11:04,919 --> 00:11:06,040
Like it's my decision?
237
00:11:06,879 --> 00:11:08,440
Every day.
238
00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:14,360
Are you ready?
Ready?
239
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:15,680
Hello?
240
00:11:16,239 --> 00:11:17,800
You ready?
Ready?
241
00:11:17,839 --> 00:11:19,959
The dog's said I need to be good.
What?
242
00:11:20,040 --> 00:11:21,480
Wh... What?
What?
243
00:11:21,519 --> 00:11:22,519
Nothing. Hey.
244
00:11:22,559 --> 00:11:23,559
Hey.
245
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:25,279
Hi.
Hi.
246
00:11:25,879 --> 00:11:27,879
What do you want to do?
247
00:11:27,919 --> 00:11:31,599
So I have like seven euro to my name.
248
00:11:31,639 --> 00:11:32,800
Okay.
249
00:11:33,080 --> 00:11:34,440
So like dealers' choice.
250
00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:36,639
Well, uh...
251
00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:38,360
do you want to help me
wash my car?
252
00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:40,800
I'm choosing yes myself.
253
00:11:41,360 --> 00:11:42,440
Okay.
254
00:11:42,879 --> 00:11:44,800
Yeah, it's this way?
Okay.
255
00:11:48,160 --> 00:11:51,199
♪ Tongue out,
oh i know you like that ♪
256
00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:53,480
Oy, oy!
257
00:11:55,480 --> 00:11:57,959
No, no, wait wait.
Why, what do you...?
258
00:11:58,199 --> 00:11:59,360
What's wrong?
259
00:12:01,839 --> 00:12:03,080
I mean, I was right.
260
00:12:03,599 --> 00:12:06,040
I've actually never been
in a car wash before.
261
00:12:06,080 --> 00:12:07,120
Really?
262
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:10,639
No, like, I don't drive,
263
00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:13,160
and I'm financially ruined.
264
00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:15,800
So what do you mean you've
never done this before?
265
00:12:15,839 --> 00:12:18,000
Yeah, I don't drive.
Yeah, okay.
266
00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:19,680
Wouldn't be a point in doing it.
Yeah.
267
00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:22,239
I haven't been in one
in like 10 years.
268
00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:25,040
Not since dad died.
What happened?
269
00:12:25,080 --> 00:12:26,839
He just walked in.
270
00:12:27,319 --> 00:12:30,080
Yeah, you're not supposed to do that.
Yeah, no. Really annoying...
271
00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:32,360
(laughing) that my dad died.
Sorry.
272
00:12:32,639 --> 00:12:34,319
Oh, no.
Yeah.
273
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:36,559
It's pretty loud, isn't it?
274
00:12:36,639 --> 00:12:39,440
Yeah, I think this one is like
three washing levels or something.
275
00:12:39,519 --> 00:12:42,040
Three?
How do you even know that?
276
00:12:42,120 --> 00:12:44,199
It said it on the sign.
277
00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:46,559
Oh! (laughs)
278
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:48,400
You're actually scared.
279
00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:49,480
No, no way.
280
00:12:49,559 --> 00:12:51,120
Do you need me to hold your hand?
281
00:12:54,279 --> 00:12:57,599
♪ I should be so lucky
282
00:12:58,360 --> 00:13:01,080
♪ If you'd only touch me ♪
283
00:13:01,639 --> 00:13:03,360
Where are the coffees?
284
00:13:03,559 --> 00:13:06,120
Oh, I left them on the room.
Oh, no, no, no.
285
00:13:06,160 --> 00:13:08,360
No! Oh, my gosh.
286
00:13:08,879 --> 00:13:11,440
I'm sorry.
287
00:13:11,639 --> 00:13:13,720
Can you close it now?
288
00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:18,839
Oh, yeah.
289
00:13:19,599 --> 00:13:21,760
(she laughs)
290
00:13:21,839 --> 00:13:23,639
So hang on, just, sorry...
291
00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:26,040
Presumably, your dad didn't
actually die in a car wash.
292
00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:27,319
No.
Okay.
293
00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:30,040
Although clearly, it's possible.
Yeah, yeah. We could've drowned.
294
00:13:30,120 --> 00:13:32,080
I know.
Oh, my God.
295
00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:36,080
(sighs) No, no.
Parents are alive and kicking.
296
00:13:36,599 --> 00:13:39,360
I have a sister as well,
lives in Australia,
297
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,199
so I haven't seen her
in like a year.
298
00:13:41,279 --> 00:13:43,559
(sighs) What about you?
299
00:13:43,639 --> 00:13:46,080
So my mam is my doctor?
300
00:13:46,839 --> 00:13:48,120
Seriously?
Mmh.
301
00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:51,080
I actually did see her earlier today
because, um...
302
00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:55,599
I think I have ADHD.
303
00:13:59,199 --> 00:14:01,440
That checks out.
Does it?
304
00:14:01,639 --> 00:14:03,559
Yeah, yeah.
Okay.
305
00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:05,919
That's pretty funny, though,
that you go to see her, you know.
306
00:14:05,959 --> 00:14:07,559
You should make a video about that.
307
00:14:07,599 --> 00:14:11,199
I'm actually thinking
about focusing on, like, live comedy.
308
00:14:11,319 --> 00:14:12,839
Really?
Yeah.
309
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:14,319
Nice. Yeah.
310
00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:15,959
That's cool.
Yeah, cool.
311
00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:18,639
There's actually an open mic
that I check out sometimes.
312
00:14:18,680 --> 00:14:20,599
It's on this Friday.
Shit.
313
00:14:20,639 --> 00:14:22,680
Can't do Friday.
That's the Woke Shop gig.
314
00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:24,440
You're doing that?
Yeah.
315
00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:26,400
Like, that was Joe Kane
that messaged me.
316
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:27,800
He... he gave me a slot.
317
00:14:27,839 --> 00:14:29,760
Remember when I walked out
like a sap?
318
00:14:29,800 --> 00:14:32,519
Yeah, that's a pretty shit gig.
319
00:14:32,599 --> 00:14:35,000
Well, I'm just starting out,
so I need to build an audience.
320
00:14:35,120 --> 00:14:36,760
Is that the audience that you want?
321
00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:39,959
They're just people.
They're assholes.
322
00:14:40,239 --> 00:14:42,800
They're Peterson and Tate wannabes.
323
00:14:42,839 --> 00:14:44,599
And he is a fucking...
324
00:14:44,639 --> 00:14:46,839
I honestly don't think
Joe Kane's that bad, like.
325
00:14:46,879 --> 00:14:48,599
He's been super supportive to me.
326
00:14:48,639 --> 00:14:50,199
Look at his voice note he sent me.
327
00:14:50,599 --> 00:14:51,599
Hey.
328
00:14:51,720 --> 00:14:52,760
Here.
329
00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:54,279
Look at that.
330
00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:56,239
Here, man, I've genuinely
been looking into this shit.
331
00:14:56,279 --> 00:14:57,919
I'm just not convinced
that the Earth is round.
332
00:14:57,959 --> 00:15:00,239
I think we're being lied to,
and it all goes back to Antartica.
333
00:15:00,279 --> 00:15:02,800
We have to be looking at Antartica.
334
00:15:03,279 --> 00:15:04,559
So that's out of context.
335
00:15:04,599 --> 00:15:06,120
But, like, normally...
Why are you defending him?
336
00:15:06,199 --> 00:15:07,319
I just don't think
we have enough insight
337
00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:08,440
into what his process might be.
338
00:15:08,519 --> 00:15:10,040
What process?
He doesn't have a process.
339
00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:12,639
He just says stupid
and offensive shit all the time.
340
00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:15,239
When you're playing a character,
sometimes you have to...
341
00:15:15,279 --> 00:15:16,680
Oh my God, okay, okay, stop.
342
00:15:17,040 --> 00:15:19,000
Why do you want to do this?
343
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,639
It's not a difficult question.
344
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,360
People said I was funny
when I was a kid.
345
00:15:27,919 --> 00:15:29,760
Like, the video's doing well...
346
00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:31,519
Yeah, but you're not talking
about doing videos.
347
00:15:31,559 --> 00:15:32,559
You're talking about doing stand-up,
348
00:15:32,599 --> 00:15:34,559
which you need
to have something to say.
349
00:15:34,639 --> 00:15:35,959
So what do you want to say?
350
00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:38,040
Why do you want to do it?
I don't know.
351
00:15:38,080 --> 00:15:40,639
I guess no one's ever picked me
for anything, ever.
352
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:44,239
Yeah, but that's
got nothing to do with you.
353
00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,360
Why can't I just have
someone else, like,
354
00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:48,239
want something for me and pick it,
355
00:15:48,279 --> 00:15:50,879
and then I'll decide
what I want to do, like, later?
356
00:15:50,919 --> 00:15:51,919
Duh!
357
00:15:51,959 --> 00:15:55,239
Because you just don't seem
to know anything about it.
358
00:15:55,279 --> 00:15:56,680
All right, what do you know
about comedy?
359
00:15:56,720 --> 00:15:58,319
Like, you just work at a supermarket.
360
00:16:01,919 --> 00:16:04,559
Yeah, that's me.
Just works in a supermarket.
361
00:16:04,639 --> 00:16:06,879
And you don't have a fucking job.
362
00:16:06,959 --> 00:16:08,839
And you also said
that you have seven euro.
363
00:16:08,919 --> 00:16:11,000
I actually don't have anything now
364
00:16:11,040 --> 00:16:13,199
because I just spent it
on a fucking car wash.
365
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:16,680
Look, you don't get
366
00:16:16,720 --> 00:16:19,199
what you're talking about.
Or, like, I don't mean that.
367
00:16:19,239 --> 00:16:21,000
It's just like you're not
in that world, all right?
368
00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:23,160
And I know I'm not either,
but like, Joe Kane is, okay?
369
00:16:23,199 --> 00:16:25,680
You don't know me.
I'm not that, like...
370
00:16:26,160 --> 00:16:28,680
Like, I'm... It's different.
371
00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:35,279
Can you get out of my car, please?
372
00:16:36,360 --> 00:16:37,879
Fine.
Fine.
373
00:16:38,599 --> 00:16:39,839
Fine.
Fine.
374
00:16:40,239 --> 00:16:41,319
Fine.
375
00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:46,440
Wait, wait...
Ah!
376
00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:48,919
Did I just run over your foot?
377
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,160
(strangled voice) Yeah, yeah.
378
00:16:50,199 --> 00:16:51,680
Oh Jesus.
379
00:16:54,239 --> 00:16:56,480
♪ (Pretty in Pink
by The Psychedelic Furs)
380
00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:26,400
♪ Caroline laughs
and it's raining all day
381
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:29,160
♪ She loves to be one of the girls
382
00:17:29,519 --> 00:17:33,639
♪ She lives in the place
in the side of our lives
383
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,919
♪ Where nothing is ever put straight
384
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:40,839
♪ She turns herself round
and she smiles and she says,
385
00:17:40,879 --> 00:17:43,839
♪ This is it,
that's the end of the joke..
386
00:17:44,279 --> 00:17:47,279
♪ And loses herself
in her dreaming and sleep... ♪
387
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,559
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