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1
00:00:03,559 --> 00:00:06,440
Hey. Hey!
Wah! Wha-what!?
2
00:00:07,720 --> 00:00:10,400
Questions to the ADHD quiz.
Yeah.
3
00:00:10,480 --> 00:00:12,919
Number 15. Do you find
yourself easily distracted?
4
00:00:12,959 --> 00:00:15,639
I found a list of
celebrities with ADHD. Oooh.
5
00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:17,639
That's a yes.
Apparently, Hitler had it.
6
00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:19,919
Is it difficult for you to
empathise with perspectives
7
00:00:19,959 --> 00:00:21,000
different from your own?
8
00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:22,559
I'd say Hitler struggled
with empathy, all right.
9
00:00:22,599 --> 00:00:26,519
Do you tend to act
impulsively without anticipating
the consequences?
10
00:00:26,559 --> 00:00:27,959
Where did you even get that?
Sorry.
11
00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:29,839
Goebbels is here, too.
What website are you on?
12
00:00:29,879 --> 00:00:32,040
Do you form strong attachments
to things? Not particularly.
13
00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:33,559
Give me your phone for a second.
No way.
14
00:00:33,599 --> 00:00:35,199
Tick.
80,000 views?
15
00:00:35,239 --> 00:00:37,480
Yeah, it's crazy.
80,002.
16
00:00:37,519 --> 00:00:39,160
Can you make money off this?
I don't know.
17
00:00:39,199 --> 00:00:41,400
What's the next video going to be?
Next video? Done.
18
00:00:41,440 --> 00:00:42,519
It's going to send
the results to your email.
19
00:00:42,559 --> 00:00:43,760
Well, yeah, you want
to keep up the momentum.
20
00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:47,440
Strike all the iron's hot.
Are you still Pusslover69@gmail.com?
21
00:00:47,480 --> 00:00:49,919
I made it when I was 13.
Okay, I found one that's not a Nazi.
22
00:00:49,959 --> 00:00:52,599
All right, who?
Adam Levine. Who's that?
23
00:00:53,199 --> 00:00:55,680
BOTH: The lead singer from Maroon 5.
Fuck's sake.
24
00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:56,879
Going for a walk.
25
00:00:56,959 --> 00:01:00,160
♪ I hide my shit in the closet
26
00:01:00,199 --> 00:01:03,720
♪ I've got some space
if you want it.♪
Well, well, well.
27
00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:05,360
(long exhale)
28
00:01:05,599 --> 00:01:08,599
Second video, second
video, second video.
29
00:01:08,639 --> 00:01:10,919
(phone pings)
30
00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:15,360
Stop.
31
00:01:15,559 --> 00:01:16,879
All right, all right.
32
00:01:16,959 --> 00:01:18,440
Video about piss man.
33
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:23,080
Piss man with the power of pissing.
34
00:01:23,160 --> 00:01:25,599
And when he pisses
and he drinks the piss,
35
00:01:25,639 --> 00:01:27,400
he gets even more power to piss more.
36
00:01:27,480 --> 00:01:29,360
Fucking stupid.
That's so stupid.
37
00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:30,480
(phone pings)
38
00:01:33,559 --> 00:01:34,959
Stop it, okay.
39
00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:37,080
Video.
40
00:01:41,800 --> 00:01:44,519
Goths on a date.
41
00:01:44,959 --> 00:01:46,120
Goths in love.
42
00:01:46,800 --> 00:01:48,959
Goth cheats on the other goth.
43
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,120
"Sorry, baby, I shagged a bat.
44
00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:52,760
"I thought he was Dracula.
45
00:01:52,839 --> 00:01:55,959
"Now I've got COVID." Duh! Duhhh!
46
00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,760
Ffff- (phone pings)
47
00:01:59,559 --> 00:02:01,480
STOP! This is why you...
48
00:02:02,879 --> 00:02:04,879
♪ (atmospheric music rises)
49
00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:16,599
(clown sobs) Fuck's sake,
50
00:02:16,639 --> 00:02:20,519
why is there nothing interesting
happening in this park!?
51
00:02:21,839 --> 00:02:23,080
(phone pings)
52
00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:27,440
(phone pings repeatedly)
53
00:02:29,480 --> 00:02:31,919
♪ (intense music)
54
00:02:54,199 --> 00:02:56,519
(exhales) What a lick!
55
00:03:04,360 --> 00:03:05,959
That's his dick.
56
00:03:20,160 --> 00:03:21,559
Rick.
57
00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:26,480
(thwack)
(moaning)
58
00:03:26,519 --> 00:03:27,959
Stop it!
59
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,040
Don't be on your phone.
60
00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:32,760
What the fuck are you doing?
I'm sorry! (groaning)
61
00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:33,959
No...
62
00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:41,559
Rick.
♪ (action film music)
63
00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:44,080
(thud) Argh!
64
00:03:46,239 --> 00:03:47,599
(screeching)
65
00:03:47,639 --> 00:03:50,839
Daaahhh! Tough watch.
66
00:03:50,879 --> 00:03:52,760
Ah! No.
67
00:03:56,599 --> 00:03:57,599
Rick.
68
00:04:05,040 --> 00:04:07,000
(sobbing) Sorry.
69
00:04:07,040 --> 00:04:08,519
(sniffling) Sorry.
70
00:04:08,559 --> 00:04:10,360
It's okay.
71
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,160
So sorry.
72
00:04:12,199 --> 00:04:14,040
♪ (romantic music)
73
00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:21,120
(weeping) Make me feel good.
Make me feel good.
74
00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:23,279
(zipper opens) Make me feel good...
75
00:04:23,319 --> 00:04:25,239
(moans)
No.
76
00:04:25,279 --> 00:04:27,760
Hm. What are you doing?
What?
77
00:04:27,839 --> 00:04:29,480
Huh? Nothing.
78
00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:31,680
Why are you staring
at Rick like that?
79
00:04:33,319 --> 00:04:37,120
I have to ask him a question...
about beans.
80
00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:39,559
That's really weird.
81
00:04:39,599 --> 00:04:41,400
Yes, I'm sorry.
82
00:04:41,440 --> 00:04:44,440
Well, I can answer your question.
Oh, do you work here?
83
00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:46,199
Ehh...
84
00:04:46,239 --> 00:04:47,239
No.
85
00:04:48,360 --> 00:04:50,319
No, it just came in for some cereal.
86
00:04:50,360 --> 00:04:52,599
And then I tripped up the guy
who worked behind the deli counter
87
00:04:52,639 --> 00:04:55,000
and he fell and hit his head, so
I panicked and put his clothes on.
88
00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:56,959
Oh my God, what are you going to do?
I don't know.
89
00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:59,440
I think he's dead. Yeah.
(phone pinging repeatedly)
90
00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:01,480
Oh, Jesus.
What is that noise?
91
00:05:02,639 --> 00:05:04,680
I em... Sorry.
92
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:07,239
I did a video and I'm getting
notifications about it.
93
00:05:07,279 --> 00:05:11,360
Yeah, you do know you could just put
that on silent. Yeah, I guess.
94
00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:13,080
I mean, I can even do it for you.
95
00:05:13,120 --> 00:05:15,559
I'll just... It's right there.
Yeah. Wow.
96
00:05:15,599 --> 00:05:17,919
It's nice. Yeah.
Thank you.
97
00:05:17,959 --> 00:05:19,400
I think I saw your video.
98
00:05:19,440 --> 00:05:20,680
Cool.
99
00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:23,160
How come you don't have any more?
You checked for more?
100
00:05:23,199 --> 00:05:24,400
Did you really get fired?
101
00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:25,839
Yeah. Any jobs going here?
102
00:05:25,879 --> 00:05:27,480
Well, only if you... Eh...
103
00:05:30,599 --> 00:05:32,919
Only if you kill Rick
and steal his clothes.
104
00:05:32,959 --> 00:05:34,400
I really want to.
105
00:05:34,440 --> 00:05:37,919
Well, I can tell. You were standing
there for like 5 minutes. So...
106
00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:40,400
I'm actually trying...
I don't know.
107
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:43,120
I'm trying to make another
video today, but I don't know.
108
00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:45,080
It's going a bit...shit.
109
00:05:45,120 --> 00:05:46,279
Why?
110
00:05:46,319 --> 00:05:48,919
I don't know.
I can't concentrate or something.
111
00:05:48,959 --> 00:05:50,680
But then just look around
you, you know?
112
00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:53,559
Hadn't thought of that.
Yeah, great. Okay. Em...
113
00:05:53,639 --> 00:05:55,919
Yeah, you see that old
man standing over there?
114
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:59,199
So he comes in here every
day at the exact same time,
115
00:05:59,239 --> 00:06:01,919
and he buys one packet of ham.
116
00:06:01,959 --> 00:06:03,319
Just the one.
117
00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,800
Rumour is that his wife
died years ago,
118
00:06:05,839 --> 00:06:09,440
and he has been trying to rebuild
her ever since with ham.
119
00:06:09,480 --> 00:06:12,080
Bit by bit.
120
00:06:12,120 --> 00:06:16,919
When he goes for the Billy Roll,
we I know his task is complete.
121
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:20,120
Hmm... That's not true.
122
00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:21,959
No. Look, just...
123
00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:24,760
You know, make shit up.
Throw shit at the wall. Mm-hmm.
124
00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:26,800
Okay, here.
125
00:06:26,839 --> 00:06:28,639
So do something.
Em... Make shit up.
126
00:06:28,680 --> 00:06:29,919
Come on. Flour.
127
00:06:29,959 --> 00:06:31,559
What would you do with flour?
128
00:06:31,599 --> 00:06:34,480
Okay. Ooooh.
What the fuck is that?
129
00:06:34,519 --> 00:06:36,919
Sorry, the character's English.
That's your English sound?
130
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:39,160
Yeah, they all speak like that.
Okay, all right.
131
00:06:39,239 --> 00:06:42,879
Oh, nobody ever buys me flowers.
132
00:06:42,919 --> 00:06:46,279
All I do is cook for my kids.
Good, good. That's good.
133
00:06:46,319 --> 00:06:49,279
Okay, give me your phone.
No. What? Why?
134
00:06:49,360 --> 00:06:50,879
Come on, this is gold.
135
00:06:50,919 --> 00:06:52,360
I had a mop on my head last time.
136
00:06:52,400 --> 00:06:54,599
This is how you do it.
Come on.
137
00:06:55,959 --> 00:06:58,680
It's good. You are a
single mother of 9, right?
138
00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:02,000
Mm-hmm. Yeah.
You've lost direction in your life.
139
00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:05,080
Now, you're starting
to wonder deep down
140
00:07:05,120 --> 00:07:07,680
if maybe you've
made the right decisions.
141
00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:10,199
And what about the sketch?
My life's a mess.
142
00:07:10,239 --> 00:07:13,599
All right, let's see. Okay.
Okay. And action.
143
00:07:13,639 --> 00:07:17,440
Oh, who wants some bread from mammy?
144
00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:19,760
Argh, it's stupid.
Good, it's good.
145
00:07:19,800 --> 00:07:21,040
I don't know.
No, it's bad.
146
00:07:21,080 --> 00:07:23,319
Okay, we'll do some more.
147
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:25,760
We'll try something else.
Come on.
148
00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:30,559
Oh, who put all my
fairy liquid in there?
149
00:07:30,599 --> 00:07:33,279
Okay, so she's never seen a bubble.
Never seen a bubble.
150
00:07:33,319 --> 00:07:34,839
Never seen a bubble.
She's never seen a bubble.
151
00:07:34,879 --> 00:07:36,800
Ahhhh!
152
00:07:36,839 --> 00:07:40,760
She's making pasta.
She's, she's - Dinosaur pasta.
153
00:07:40,839 --> 00:07:43,519
Oh, I remember them
when I was a kid.
154
00:07:43,559 --> 00:07:45,239
BOTH: Because she's old!
155
00:07:45,279 --> 00:07:46,879
Rebecca!
156
00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:49,720
I'm making a sale.
157
00:07:50,199 --> 00:07:51,199
Can I do this?
158
00:07:51,279 --> 00:07:54,360
No, because then if it falls,
I'll have to clean it up.
159
00:07:54,839 --> 00:07:57,839
Oh, I'm the English mummy.
160
00:08:01,519 --> 00:08:06,160
Let's do something else. Okay.
Em... Oh, shit. That's me.
161
00:08:06,239 --> 00:08:08,599
Okay. Turn it around,
turn it around.
162
00:08:08,639 --> 00:08:09,760
Oh, yeah, yes.
163
00:08:09,839 --> 00:08:13,000
You've made loads of jam.
Loads of jam.
164
00:08:13,080 --> 00:08:14,919
Oh! Loads'a jam.
165
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:19,319
(phone vibrates) No, no no.
I've made too much... Aw, shit.
166
00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:22,319
Man, you've got... Stupid,
I dunno, I don't know about that.
167
00:08:22,360 --> 00:08:26,400
You just got a comment
from Crack Joe Kane. What?
168
00:08:26,440 --> 00:08:30,559
You know the guy who runs
the comedy night that everyone
keeps getting cancelled for?
169
00:08:30,599 --> 00:08:32,639
♪ (electric guitar riff)
170
00:08:32,680 --> 00:08:35,440
Hey, guys. Welcome to Kane
is Able with me, Joe Kane.
171
00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:36,519
ARGHHHH!
172
00:08:36,559 --> 00:08:38,040
My pronouns: He/Ro.
173
00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:40,120
My ideal woman,
the body of Molly Malone,
174
00:08:40,160 --> 00:08:41,720
the mind of Nigel Farage.
175
00:08:41,760 --> 00:08:43,160
Guys, féach air seo.
176
00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:45,919
(snorting)
177
00:08:47,319 --> 00:08:48,480
(malicious laughter)
178
00:08:48,519 --> 00:08:51,160
Yeah, it's called The Woke Shop.
179
00:08:51,199 --> 00:08:52,599
What does it say?
180
00:08:53,559 --> 00:08:56,360
Em... Hey, man, love the sketch.
181
00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:58,120
Peep DMs.
182
00:08:58,160 --> 00:08:59,879
My God, peep DMs.
What a prick.
183
00:08:59,919 --> 00:09:01,680
Let me see.
No, come on.
184
00:09:01,720 --> 00:09:04,160
We just, we've way more to get in
the Jam Lady Cinematic Universe.
185
00:09:04,199 --> 00:09:06,080
Can I please just have my phone?
186
00:09:07,919 --> 00:09:08,919
Yeah.
187
00:09:09,639 --> 00:09:12,639
Whoa.
It's 48 minutes.
188
00:09:13,279 --> 00:09:16,319
I should probably go back to work
anyway, before Rick starts hounding.
189
00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:19,839
Yeah. Em, I need
to listen to this.
190
00:09:21,279 --> 00:09:22,559
Thanks.
191
00:09:34,639 --> 00:09:35,639
Yep.
192
00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:37,919
Hey, brother. Joe Kane
of The Woke Shop here.
193
00:09:37,959 --> 00:09:41,199
That's a tight little video you
have. (laughing) Oh, yeah.
194
00:09:41,239 --> 00:09:42,760
"You want to act up?"
195
00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:45,400
Here, you ever thought
about doing some stand-up?
196
00:09:45,440 --> 00:09:47,519
In the Woke Shop,
I've created a space where people
197
00:09:47,559 --> 00:09:49,360
can just fully become ungovernable.
198
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:51,440
I've always considered myself
somewhat of a truth junkie,
199
00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:53,959
and it's my mission to pass
that gospel on to my disciples.
200
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:56,559
Suppose you could say
that my journey to the game
wasn't straightforward.
201
00:09:56,599 --> 00:10:00,239
Started off in mixology. Was
a DJ for a while, DJ rim job.
202
00:10:00,279 --> 00:10:03,080
People fucking hated it,
but hey, got them talking...
203
00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:05,480
..I just think it's important to
give credit where credit is due,
204
00:10:05,519 --> 00:10:09,000
and he made this
country a world player when it
comes to martial arts.
205
00:10:09,040 --> 00:10:11,959
Look, I'm going to book you in for a
20 minutes support slot in a week.
206
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:15,040
Think you can handle that, big dog?
The lineup is full of top Gs.
207
00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:17,120
We've got the bander builder,
the laughing Pakistani,
208
00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:19,160
and the lad who made the show about
the priest is going to read a poem
209
00:10:19,199 --> 00:10:21,720
from the bird who wrote that book
about the boy magician or something.
210
00:10:21,760 --> 00:10:23,639
You're ready to take your
place among the greats?
211
00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:25,080
Oh, yeah.
212
00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:27,160
Daddy likey yeahhhh.
(knocking)
213
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:28,800
Put one up?
214
00:10:28,839 --> 00:10:32,440
No, actually. (soft laugh)
Have you heard of crack Joe Kane?
215
00:10:32,480 --> 00:10:33,800
He makes those videos online.
216
00:10:33,839 --> 00:10:36,720
Oh, God yeah.
That guy's such an asshole.
217
00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:39,440
He asked me to do a gig.
218
00:10:40,239 --> 00:10:41,239
Oh.
219
00:10:41,879 --> 00:10:42,879
Okay.
220
00:10:43,800 --> 00:10:46,279
That's great(?)
221
00:10:46,319 --> 00:10:47,480
Really?
222
00:10:47,519 --> 00:10:49,839
This is my supportive face.
223
00:10:49,879 --> 00:10:51,559
Mmm. You should tell your face.
224
00:10:51,599 --> 00:10:55,559
And this is my supportive finger.
(laughs)
225
00:10:55,599 --> 00:10:59,519
I don't know. I know he's a bit mad,
but he's got a really big audience.
226
00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:02,080
I don't know.
It feels like a big opportunity.
227
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,360
Like I could really do something
with this, make a go of it,
228
00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,279
and make it good.
229
00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:08,599
Yeah, okay.
230
00:11:08,639 --> 00:11:10,199
You don't have to convince me.
231
00:11:10,239 --> 00:11:12,160
Like, I just don't want to keep...
232
00:11:13,919 --> 00:11:15,000
Fucking up.
233
00:11:15,040 --> 00:11:16,040
Hey.
234
00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:18,279
I'm always on your team, remember?
235
00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:27,279
(mouth cupping noise)
236
00:11:27,680 --> 00:11:29,160
Jesus Christ.
237
00:11:29,239 --> 00:11:32,559
Right, corn's ready. All right,
great. Get Alexa to play some Korn.
238
00:11:32,599 --> 00:11:35,160
Can we not do Korn corn,
Sunday's again, please?
239
00:11:35,199 --> 00:11:37,319
What era are we thinking of Korn?
240
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:39,360
I'm not a fan of corn.
Freak on a leash.
241
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:41,040
Yeah, yeah, classic.
Find the music very abrasive.
242
00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:42,080
Babe.
243
00:11:43,519 --> 00:11:45,120
Respect the sanctity.
244
00:11:48,680 --> 00:11:50,000
I love you.
Yeah.
245
00:11:51,760 --> 00:11:53,480
Then we're going to check
your email, okay?
246
00:11:53,519 --> 00:11:54,519
Wait, what?
247
00:11:54,559 --> 00:11:57,279
For the ADHD results.
..HD test quiz.
248
00:11:57,319 --> 00:11:59,519
Results thing.
Yeah, we were doing.
249
00:11:59,559 --> 00:12:02,519
♪ (Freak on a Leash - Korn)
250
00:12:02,559 --> 00:12:05,559
♪ Something takes a part of me
251
00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:10,680
♪ Something lost and never seen
252
00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:12,000
(email tone)
253
00:12:12,279 --> 00:12:15,360
♪ Every time I start to believe
254
00:12:15,720 --> 00:12:17,040
(phone pings)
255
00:12:17,080 --> 00:12:21,199
♪ Something's raped and
taken from me, from me.♪
256
00:12:21,239 --> 00:12:22,360
Shit.
257
00:12:28,879 --> 00:12:33,199
Shit, that's me. (laughs)
Okay. Dinosaur pasta.
258
00:12:33,239 --> 00:12:35,800
Oh, I remember them when I
was a kid.
259
00:12:35,839 --> 00:12:37,839
BOTH: Because she's old!
260
00:12:37,879 --> 00:12:39,360
I'm really bad at this.
No, you're not.
261
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:40,919
This is good.
This is good.
262
00:12:40,959 --> 00:12:45,839
♪ Feeling like a freak on a lease.
(You wanna see the light)
263
00:12:45,879 --> 00:12:50,760
♪ Feeling like I have no release.
(So do I)
264
00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:55,440
♪ How many times have I felt
deceased? (You wanna see the light)
265
00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:59,839
♪ Nothing in my life
is free, is free.
266
00:13:01,080 --> 00:13:05,360
♪ Sometimes I
cannot take this place.
267
00:13:05,400 --> 00:13:09,879
♪ Sometimes it's my
life I can't taste.
268
00:13:09,919 --> 00:13:14,400
♪ Sometimes I cannot feel my face.
269
00:13:14,440 --> 00:13:18,639
♪ You'll never see me
fall from grace.
270
00:13:20,120 --> 00:13:24,760
♪ Something takes a part of me.
271
00:13:24,800 --> 00:13:29,440
♪ You and I were meant to be.
272
00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:34,120
♪ A cheap ... for me to lay.
273
00:13:34,160 --> 00:13:39,160
♪ Something takes a part of me.
20162
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