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1
00:00:00,879 --> 00:00:03,480
(in high pitched voice, English
accent) Oh, Jesus, Mary and Joseph,
2
00:00:03,519 --> 00:00:06,040
if you leave that immersion on one
more time...
3
00:00:06,160 --> 00:00:07,720
(in normal voice)
Fuck, hang on. Hang on.
4
00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:10,360
(in squeaky English accent)
Oh, Jesus, Mary and Joseph,
5
00:00:10,400 --> 00:00:12,400
if you leave that immersion on one
more time,
6
00:00:12,480 --> 00:00:14,160
I'll grab that wooden spoon
and...
7
00:00:14,199 --> 00:00:15,839
(in normal voice)
Fuckin' hell! Hang on.
8
00:00:15,879 --> 00:00:18,480
(in squeaky English accent)
Oh, Jesus, Mary and Joseph,
9
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:20,839
if you leave that immersion on one
more time
10
00:00:20,879 --> 00:00:23,919
I'll grab that wooden spoon
and not even flat 7Up...
11
00:00:32,480 --> 00:00:34,199
Ohhh!
12
00:00:34,639 --> 00:00:37,639
Close that bleedin' door,
were you born in a barn?
13
00:00:39,839 --> 00:00:40,839
You're fired, man.
14
00:00:41,760 --> 00:00:42,760
But why?
15
00:00:44,839 --> 00:00:47,879
♪ I hide my shit in the closet
16
00:00:47,919 --> 00:00:51,279
♪ I got some space if you want it ♪
17
00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:54,480
So Jack says you do comedy?
18
00:00:55,040 --> 00:00:58,360
Like, videos, like, sketches, that
sort of thing. Just for a laugh.
19
00:00:58,400 --> 00:01:00,720
Did you ever see that video,
the fellow pretended to be
20
00:01:00,760 --> 00:01:02,279
the days of the week on his
stag do?
21
00:01:02,360 --> 00:01:03,440
Eh, is Monday really sad?
22
00:01:03,519 --> 00:01:05,839
And does Friday wear sunglasses?
Ah, so you have seen it?
23
00:01:05,919 --> 00:01:07,559
(laughing) No, I actually haven't.
Haven't seen it.
24
00:01:08,680 --> 00:01:11,160
Okay, well, it's pretty simple,
man.
25
00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:13,160
Stock comes in and out all day.
26
00:01:13,199 --> 00:01:15,559
Just make space and put it away.
(dog barks)
27
00:01:15,639 --> 00:01:17,120
It's pretty organised as it is,
28
00:01:17,199 --> 00:01:18,319
the only thing I recommend
(barking gets louder)
29
00:01:18,360 --> 00:01:20,680
(voice fading) is to put the heavy
stuff on the bottom shelf.
30
00:01:20,720 --> 00:01:22,440
(barking continues)
The steel-toe boots, for example,
31
00:01:22,480 --> 00:01:25,120
that can run up to three, four kg
per foot.
32
00:01:25,160 --> 00:01:28,199
If you don't want that falling
on top of you from four foot up.
33
00:01:28,279 --> 00:01:29,639
I'd say that's the most
important thing to remember.
34
00:01:29,720 --> 00:01:31,959
(barking stops, voice at normal
volume) You got it? Got it!
35
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,199
Yeah.
36
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:35,800
Let's crack on then!
37
00:01:35,839 --> 00:01:37,519
(laughing) Ah, yeah!
Bang, bang! Ah! Oh!
38
00:01:37,559 --> 00:01:40,239
(laughs) Urgh! Argh! Ohh!
39
00:01:40,279 --> 00:01:43,720
We're gonna get massacred, my boy!
Aaaaah!
40
00:01:43,760 --> 00:01:45,959
(laughs nervously) It's gonna be
great. It's gonna be good.
41
00:01:46,040 --> 00:01:47,559
It's gonna be such great... yeah.
Yeah! Yeah!
42
00:01:47,599 --> 00:01:48,680
(sighs)
43
00:01:49,839 --> 00:01:52,000
(grunts)
(creaking)
44
00:01:52,040 --> 00:01:53,680
Awww, there's no space here!
45
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:56,360
(groans)
46
00:01:58,279 --> 00:02:00,360
Have you seen the steel-toe boots?
47
00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:02,519
The lads from the building site
are in.
48
00:02:02,639 --> 00:02:03,800
Six pairs they're after!
49
00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:07,000
Em, I think I had to make
room for the sandals.
50
00:02:07,080 --> 00:02:08,360
Oh, yeah, they're up there now.
51
00:02:09,440 --> 00:02:10,440
(sighs)
52
00:02:10,959 --> 00:02:13,519
(sighs) Wiki how...
53
00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:16,319
Stack shelf...
54
00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:21,239
♪ (opera music)
♪ O mio babbino... ♪ Videos...
55
00:02:21,279 --> 00:02:24,040
♪ Caro ♪
(scraping)
56
00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:30,360
♪ Mi piace, è bello... ♪
I'm not doing that!
57
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,800
(thud)
(groans)
58
00:02:32,839 --> 00:02:35,279
(continues groaning)
59
00:02:35,319 --> 00:02:37,120
Oh! Ah! Oh! Eh... you alright?
60
00:02:37,160 --> 00:02:39,720
Eh... you alright?
(groans)
61
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:42,879
(claps)
So Eugene is stable. Oh, thank God!
62
00:02:42,919 --> 00:02:44,559
What was he thinking?!
63
00:02:44,959 --> 00:02:47,199
You don't put the heavier stuff
on the top shelf.
64
00:02:47,279 --> 00:02:49,360
Well, he could have told me that,
but it's fine.
65
00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:51,440
Well, I'm gonna have
to give you a verbal warning.
66
00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:52,480
Wha'?!
67
00:02:53,599 --> 00:02:57,319
Hey, how about we put you on the
shop floor for the rest of the day?
68
00:02:57,400 --> 00:02:58,440
Yeah, all right, yeah!
69
00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:00,680
One of the perks of the job is the
uniform, right?
70
00:03:00,720 --> 00:03:02,680
You get a free pair of trainers to
wear in work,
71
00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:04,080
so pick anything you want.
72
00:03:07,720 --> 00:03:09,000
Ah, the Oliver Jagos?
73
00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:11,839
Ah, see, they'd be more
the high-end designer type.
74
00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:15,720
We don't usually allow...
and they're on your feet.
75
00:03:15,760 --> 00:03:16,879
Ohhh!
76
00:03:16,919 --> 00:03:18,160
Woah!
77
00:03:18,199 --> 00:03:20,839
(shoes squeak)
78
00:03:20,879 --> 00:03:23,360
(shoes squeak)
Woah!
79
00:03:23,480 --> 00:03:24,800
(claps)
Fine.
80
00:03:24,839 --> 00:03:27,080
Just ask the customer what size
they want...
81
00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:28,800
and let them try on one shoe.
(shoes squeak)
82
00:03:28,839 --> 00:03:30,040
(shoes continue squeaking)
We found that if they have both,
83
00:03:30,080 --> 00:03:31,760
they're more likely to ste...
(shoes continue squeaking)
84
00:03:31,879 --> 00:03:34,040
You're not even listening to me,
are you?
85
00:03:34,080 --> 00:03:35,160
(squeals)
(shoes continue squeaking)
86
00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:36,800
Right. Eh...
87
00:03:36,839 --> 00:03:39,760
(squeaking stops)
Just leave the shoes at the till.
88
00:03:39,839 --> 00:03:41,519
You got it? Got it.
89
00:03:45,120 --> 00:03:46,160
(sighs)
90
00:03:48,279 --> 00:03:49,279
(snaps fingers)
91
00:03:50,879 --> 00:03:52,199
(sighs)
92
00:03:55,959 --> 00:03:58,680
(in London accent)
What's the craic? (laughs)
93
00:04:00,599 --> 00:04:01,680
Hey!
94
00:04:01,919 --> 00:04:05,559
Eh, can I get you a shoe? (in London
accent) Come here to me!
95
00:04:05,639 --> 00:04:09,360
Your man there said you could get
me these brógaí in a size seacht.
96
00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:11,800
What's going on?
Are you Irish?
97
00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:15,160
Janey mac! I am Irish, yeah.
(laughs nervously) Yeah!
98
00:04:15,199 --> 00:04:17,199
Well, me old one and me old lad
are,
99
00:04:17,239 --> 00:04:18,800
but we moved to Woking when I was a
chisler.
100
00:04:18,839 --> 00:04:21,360
Weeey! And they all speak like you.
101
00:04:21,559 --> 00:04:24,000
You're gas, mate!
(both laugh)
102
00:04:24,040 --> 00:04:26,879
But yeah, we sound the same,
to be sure. (nervously) Uh huh.
103
00:04:26,959 --> 00:04:30,839
Anyway, these brógaí, size seacht.
Wha'?
104
00:04:30,879 --> 00:04:32,879
Size seven. Yeah! Oh, yeah!
105
00:04:32,919 --> 00:04:34,360
I'm one of you! Ah yeah!
(laughs nervously)
106
00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:36,080
We're the same!
(laughs nervously) Yeah!
107
00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:37,839
(laughing) What's going on?
108
00:04:38,040 --> 00:04:39,319
Ahhh...
109
00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:42,800
(hums "Amhrán na bhFiann")
110
00:04:43,599 --> 00:04:44,599
Ohhhh!
111
00:04:44,639 --> 00:04:46,239
(laughs)
Ahoy-hoy!
112
00:04:46,279 --> 00:04:48,559
Are ya "seacht" that I was that
fast?
113
00:04:48,639 --> 00:04:50,760
Now we're sucking diesel!
(laughs)
114
00:04:50,800 --> 00:04:52,239
Ooh, thanks, fella!
115
00:04:52,279 --> 00:04:53,360
I'll take these to the till.
116
00:04:53,440 --> 00:04:54,720
I don't need to try 'em on,
117
00:04:54,800 --> 00:04:58,120
I've already got a pair that are
banjaxed. (laughing) Banjaxed?
118
00:04:58,160 --> 00:04:59,519
Everything you say is rad!
119
00:04:59,559 --> 00:05:01,040
(both laugh)
120
00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:05,440
(laughing) Oh my God!
121
00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:07,800
..Irish guy... (mutters)
122
00:05:08,160 --> 00:05:11,040
Who's the English guy? He's
actually Irish, would you believe?
123
00:05:11,120 --> 00:05:12,680
Em, he's, em...
124
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:17,519
(retreating footsteps)
125
00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:19,120
Shit.
126
00:05:19,160 --> 00:05:21,720
I mean, he really didn't
look like a robber.
127
00:05:21,800 --> 00:05:24,040
I'm gonna have to give you
a written warning here, man.
128
00:05:25,519 --> 00:05:26,720
Ah, wha...?
129
00:05:28,639 --> 00:05:29,680
(grunts)
130
00:05:29,720 --> 00:05:33,919
(Eugene groans) Oh, my God, man,
I'm so sorry!
131
00:05:35,199 --> 00:05:36,599
(speaking through device)
It's okay.
132
00:05:36,959 --> 00:05:38,800
Did they say how long you
have to use that thing for?
133
00:05:39,599 --> 00:05:41,800
Six months.
Ah, God!
134
00:05:41,839 --> 00:05:43,720
Eh, when's your daughter's wedding
again?
135
00:05:43,879 --> 00:05:46,440
Friday. Oh, Jesus!
136
00:05:48,160 --> 00:05:49,839
(laughing) Well, actually, just to
cheer you up,
137
00:05:49,879 --> 00:05:51,720
it might make you laugh.
There was a fellow upstairs, right?
138
00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:53,680
And he was a proper Cockney geezer,
139
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,599
but everything he said was, like,
really Irish. He was all like...
140
00:05:55,639 --> 00:05:58,319
(in English accent) "Oh, Janey Mac,
me shoes are banjaxed,
141
00:05:58,360 --> 00:05:59,440
to be sure, to be sure!"
142
00:05:59,519 --> 00:06:00,959
And then he actually robbed the
shoes.
143
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:03,239
(laughs) Oh, the fucking cant!
144
00:06:03,279 --> 00:06:05,559
Actually, he said his ma
spoke like that as well.
145
00:06:05,639 --> 00:06:06,680
Could you imagine that? Like...
146
00:06:06,720 --> 00:06:08,599
(in squeaky English accent)
Oh, I'm an English mammy!
147
00:06:08,680 --> 00:06:12,279
Oh, you better not leave that
immersion on! (Eugene laughs)
148
00:06:12,319 --> 00:06:16,000
(Eugene continues laughing)
♪ (distant dance music)
149
00:06:16,279 --> 00:06:19,559
Eugene, will you help me
record something real quick?
150
00:06:19,599 --> 00:06:20,839
♪ (music gets louder)
151
00:06:20,919 --> 00:06:24,199
(in squeaky English accent)
Oh, Jaysus, Mary and Joseph!
152
00:06:24,319 --> 00:06:26,519
Who left that bloody immers..?
(in normal voice) Fuck!
153
00:06:26,599 --> 00:06:27,639
Hang on, one more time.
154
00:06:27,720 --> 00:06:30,080
(in squeaky English accent)
Oh, Jaysus, Mary and Joseph!
155
00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:32,559
If you leave that immersion on one
more time...
156
00:06:32,639 --> 00:06:35,519
I'll grab that wooden spoon already
or I'll...
157
00:06:35,559 --> 00:06:37,599
(in own voice) Fucking hell!
What is the line?
158
00:06:38,279 --> 00:06:41,360
(in squeaky English accent)
Oh, Jesus, Mary and Joseph,
159
00:06:41,400 --> 00:06:43,639
if you leave that immersion on one
more time,
160
00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:44,760
(thud)
Oh!
161
00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:46,720
(phone bounces on the floor)
162
00:06:51,879 --> 00:06:53,599
Ohhhh....
163
00:06:53,879 --> 00:06:55,440
(in squeaky English accent)
Close that bleedin' door,
164
00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:57,000
were you born in a barn?
165
00:06:59,440 --> 00:07:00,760
You're fired, man.
166
00:07:01,360 --> 00:07:02,440
(in normal voice) But why?
167
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:04,199
Are you serious?
168
00:07:04,279 --> 00:07:05,559
This whole day, man.
169
00:07:05,599 --> 00:07:07,760
(in squeaky English accent) You must
think I'm bloody made of money!
170
00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:09,760
(in normal voice) I don't have it.
You have to go.
171
00:07:09,919 --> 00:07:11,559
(in squeaky English accent)
Okay, I will.
172
00:07:12,160 --> 00:07:13,680
Thank you. (in squeaky English
accent) I will in me shite!
173
00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:16,919
Ohhhh, I will in me shite!
I'm a... What is wrong with you?
174
00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:19,879
And what is this?!
175
00:07:20,279 --> 00:07:21,800
(in squeaky English
accent) You must think I came down
176
00:07:21,839 --> 00:07:24,400
in the last shower, 'cause a
little birdy told me,
177
00:07:24,480 --> 00:07:28,040
you've to give me a final written
warning, to be sure, to be sure.
178
00:07:28,120 --> 00:07:29,519
Are you gonna be late again
tomorrow?
179
00:07:30,480 --> 00:07:32,239
Probably, oooh...
180
00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:35,160
Thanks for coming in.
Leave the shoes at the till.
181
00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:36,400
(door slams)
182
00:07:36,959 --> 00:07:39,239
(in normal voice) Oh, what are we
gonna do, Eugene?
183
00:07:39,519 --> 00:07:40,519
Eugene?
184
00:07:40,559 --> 00:07:42,919
(Eugene groans)
You all right?
185
00:07:44,480 --> 00:07:45,919
♪ FIZZ "The Secret to Life"
186
00:07:45,959 --> 00:07:49,239
♪ I hide my shit in the closet
187
00:07:49,279 --> 00:07:52,319
♪ I got some space if you want it
188
00:07:52,360 --> 00:07:58,120
♪ It's cool, it isn't a problem,
now, right now ♪
189
00:07:58,160 --> 00:08:00,120
(music fades)
190
00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:01,160
Oh, can we swap?
191
00:08:01,959 --> 00:08:03,199
My wrist is sore.
192
00:08:03,239 --> 00:08:04,919
(phone clicks)
193
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:08,080
So your wrist is too sore to stir
risotto, but completely fine
194
00:08:08,160 --> 00:08:10,080
to death-grip your flute for an
hour.
195
00:08:10,279 --> 00:08:11,279
Oui, chef.
196
00:08:11,319 --> 00:08:13,639
Mm. I'm home!
197
00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:16,080
I've dinner.
Woo!
198
00:08:19,839 --> 00:08:21,680
Come on, he never does this.
199
00:08:22,720 --> 00:08:25,879
Oh, them death-grip biceps, though!
(he laughs)
200
00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:30,680
Oh, our own little hunter-gatherer!
What did you bring us?
201
00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:32,800
Right, so, like, yellow stickers'
finest, right?
202
00:08:32,839 --> 00:08:35,959
Thought we could go for kinda
7-year-old birthday party vibes.
203
00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:37,000
Oh!
204
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:38,800
(laughing) Okay.
205
00:08:38,839 --> 00:08:40,680
Bang those in the air fryer,
would you, brother?
206
00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:42,199
20 minutes on high, right?
207
00:08:42,279 --> 00:08:44,519
And then give the basket
a decent shake halfway through.
208
00:08:44,559 --> 00:08:47,400
It's gonna be pretty heavy,
but no better man for the job.
209
00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:50,319
So what are we watching?
210
00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:54,040
We are gonna watch
Riverdance, Eurovision 94.
211
00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:55,400
Shit, bad first day?
212
00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:57,199
No, no, it was good. Em...
213
00:08:57,279 --> 00:08:59,480
Just want to remember what
this country used to be.
214
00:08:59,559 --> 00:09:03,919
♪ I need friends, baby ♪
215
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:06,839
(inhaling) Always gettin' off me
bin! ♪ I need friends, baby ♪
216
00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:08,519
And like, eh, he's, like English,
217
00:09:08,559 --> 00:09:09,599
(she laughs)
And everything he said,
218
00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:12,040
everything he said was like that.
It was like he was reading from
219
00:09:12,120 --> 00:09:14,120
one of those, like
"You know you're Irish when"
220
00:09:14,199 --> 00:09:15,239
You know? Kind of thing.
That's insane. That's illegal.
221
00:09:15,279 --> 00:09:17,480
It should be illegal. But you do
have to tell me
222
00:09:17,519 --> 00:09:19,160
if he comes in again tomorrow.
Em...
223
00:09:19,199 --> 00:09:20,239
Yeah.
224
00:09:20,279 --> 00:09:23,000
No, I will, yeah,
Oh, hang on!
225
00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:24,319
What? Ho ho ho!
226
00:09:24,360 --> 00:09:26,199
Bam, bam! Whoa!
(shoes squeak)
227
00:09:26,239 --> 00:09:28,760
Jesus Christ.
Right, sausages are ready.
228
00:09:28,959 --> 00:09:30,040
Actually, d'you know what?
229
00:09:30,080 --> 00:09:32,559
Pretty stuffed from the cake,
brother, but thank you so much.
230
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:36,680
All right, here we go.
What? (grunts)
231
00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:41,160
(together with TV presenter) Ladies
and gentlemen...
232
00:09:41,199 --> 00:09:42,839
Riverdance.
233
00:09:42,879 --> 00:09:44,519
♪ Bill Whelan "Riverdance"
234
00:09:45,879 --> 00:09:48,959
And now, Jean Butler
with the Dance of the River Woman.
235
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:52,120
She's dancing in the soft-shoe
Irish style.
236
00:09:52,239 --> 00:09:53,839
And now, earth rise!
237
00:09:53,919 --> 00:09:57,400
Michael Flatley showing his
mastery of the hard-shoe tap.
238
00:09:57,440 --> 00:10:00,000
(laughing) Why do yous always watch
this? (makes indignant noise)
239
00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:01,160
Why do we always what?!
240
00:10:01,239 --> 00:10:03,480
It's only the greatest night in
Irish history!
241
00:10:03,519 --> 00:10:05,639
(laughing) Sorry, why do we...
Hang on!
242
00:10:06,639 --> 00:10:08,319
Why do we carry a...
243
00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:09,480
Riverdance.
244
00:10:09,559 --> 00:10:13,360
The haunting vocals of Anúna,
the plucked strings of Bill Whelan,
245
00:10:13,400 --> 00:10:15,400
the grace and poise of Jean Butler,
246
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:18,319
the flair and intensity of
Michael Flatley. They entwine.
247
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:22,879
The ensemble joins, building to a
crescendo where Terry Wogan himself,
248
00:10:22,919 --> 00:10:25,400
lost for words, utters "Good grief!"
249
00:10:25,440 --> 00:10:27,919
the small hairs standing up on the
back of every Irishman's neck.
250
00:10:27,959 --> 00:10:30,040
And just one hour later,
251
00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:34,199
"Rock 'n' Roll Kids" will win for
Ireland a third time in a row
252
00:10:34,239 --> 00:10:36,480
and a record-breaking sixth time
overall,
253
00:10:36,559 --> 00:10:38,800
positioning our small island,
254
00:10:38,839 --> 00:10:40,839
not just as outright Eurovision
champions,
255
00:10:40,879 --> 00:10:43,599
but as a global cultural superpower!
256
00:10:43,639 --> 00:10:46,199
(both clap and cheer)
(he laughs nervously)
257
00:10:46,279 --> 00:10:49,080
Also, I got sacked today
and I almost killed a guy!
258
00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:51,279
(laughs in an unhinged manner)
259
00:10:52,839 --> 00:10:55,040
Can you find him something else?
He's just gonna do it again.
260
00:10:55,080 --> 00:10:56,639
Look, I take my job seriously,
261
00:10:56,680 --> 00:10:58,120
and I'm starting to lose
credibility as a recruiter.
262
00:10:58,199 --> 00:11:00,319
He just needs the right thing.
He doesn't need the right thing,
263
00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:01,440
he's just lazy.
264
00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:02,959
Look, I will sort his rent for this
month.
265
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,040
Babe, I love you, but how are we
supposed to save for a gaff
266
00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:07,120
if our tenant only pays rent
whenever he can?
267
00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,319
Come on, he just needs some help!
You help him all the time!
268
00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:11,559
(under her breath) Fuck's sake.
269
00:11:14,160 --> 00:11:16,160
Don't pretend to be asleep.
Huh? I hate that.
270
00:11:16,199 --> 00:11:17,239
Stop. What?
271
00:11:17,279 --> 00:11:19,319
(laughing) Stop.
What's going on? Stop.
272
00:11:19,599 --> 00:11:20,599
Sorry.
273
00:11:21,239 --> 00:11:23,160
Look, Jack is gonna line up some
interviews for tomorrow,
274
00:11:23,239 --> 00:11:25,239
but it's the last time, okay?
275
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:27,639
Sorry. Last time! Sorry!
276
00:11:28,959 --> 00:11:31,919
(he sighs) Please try .
277
00:11:34,519 --> 00:11:36,120
(sighs)
278
00:11:37,639 --> 00:11:39,760
♪ (jazz music)
279
00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:45,919
So, have you seen Volf of
Vall Street?
280
00:11:45,959 --> 00:11:49,160
Have I seen Wolf...? Wolf of...
Yeah, Wolf of Wall Street!
281
00:11:49,199 --> 00:11:50,559
Yeah, DiCaprio and yeah, Scorsese,
I... So, eh...
282
00:11:50,639 --> 00:11:54,440
..the car and he can't get in....
Sell me this vape.
283
00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:58,599
Ha. Ha. Eh... Okay.
284
00:11:58,639 --> 00:12:01,680
Excuse me, madam, you look
like a convicted vapist.
285
00:12:01,720 --> 00:12:04,319
(laughs) Right? Eh, we got some
flavours you wouldn't believe.
286
00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:06,440
You... you can go.
Hmm?
287
00:12:06,519 --> 00:12:07,919
Oh, yeah.
Oh, God.
288
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,919
That sounds like, yeah, the vapist
sounds like a bad thing.
289
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,000
I don't know why I... vapist...
290
00:12:13,040 --> 00:12:14,199
♪ (jazz music)
(she sighs)
291
00:12:14,279 --> 00:12:16,160
So, you follow the clues,
292
00:12:16,199 --> 00:12:18,160
you find the key, and then you get
the job.
293
00:12:18,199 --> 00:12:20,360
Yeah, great. Easy.
294
00:12:21,160 --> 00:12:25,519
Eh.. When you see me,
I may bring a fright, mmm...
295
00:12:25,559 --> 00:12:28,400
But for a child, I bring comfort at
night.
296
00:12:28,440 --> 00:12:30,680
Okay. Okay.
297
00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:37,440
(laughs)
298
00:12:38,120 --> 00:12:41,319
The answer is a lamp.
299
00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:42,959
(bash, bulb breaks)
Aaah!
300
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,919
No, the answer is a doll, man.
Wha'?
301
00:12:45,959 --> 00:12:48,120
Comfort at night!
The key's on the back!
302
00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:49,959
Oh, very good. Yeah.
303
00:12:50,040 --> 00:12:51,639
Yeah, yeah,comfort for a child.
304
00:12:52,599 --> 00:12:54,839
Mmm... We take a lot of pride in
this place.
305
00:12:54,919 --> 00:12:55,919
I'd say so.
306
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,839
It's gorgeous, can I say?
Thank you so much.
307
00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:01,199
Well, look, you've seen place.
Let's get to know each other.
308
00:13:01,239 --> 00:13:03,639
Yeah, great. Where do you see
yourself in five years?
309
00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:04,839
(laughs) Fuck you.
310
00:13:05,599 --> 00:13:07,040
(traffic)
311
00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:25,599
(on phone) Ohhhhh!
312
00:13:25,639 --> 00:13:27,040
(in squeaky English accent) Were you
born in a barn?
313
00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:28,919
Close the bloody door!
314
00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:32,760
(laughs)
You're fired, man.
315
00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:35,839
But why?
316
00:13:39,239 --> 00:13:41,040
(phone notification)
English...
317
00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:44,279
(phone keys tapping)
English... mammy....
318
00:13:44,959 --> 00:13:45,959
(phone bleeps)
319
00:13:51,559 --> 00:13:52,879
(low battery notification noise)
320
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,120
(sighs)
321
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,040
(laughs softly)
322
00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:04,680
Hey!
323
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:05,760
Blimped it, man.
324
00:14:05,839 --> 00:14:07,319
Might want to get some
plastic sheets
325
00:14:07,360 --> 00:14:08,760
if you keep shittin' the bed so
much.
326
00:14:08,800 --> 00:14:10,839
Didn't land any, no?
Not a one!
327
00:14:10,919 --> 00:14:13,559
And Terry immediately
clocked that you have ADHD.
328
00:14:13,639 --> 00:14:17,040
(laughs) Oh, was Terry the
Spanish one?
329
00:14:17,120 --> 00:14:18,599
Sofia was the Brazilian one.
330
00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:21,279
Oh, that's bad, isn't it?
331
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,160
Wait, sorry...
332
00:14:23,239 --> 00:14:24,959
She thinks I have ADHD?
333
00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:26,639
Yeah.
334
00:14:26,919 --> 00:14:27,959
Don't you?
335
00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:31,199
(on phone) I will in my shite, oh! I
will in me shite! (laughing) God!
336
00:14:31,239 --> 00:14:33,360
That video was so fucking funny!
337
00:14:33,400 --> 00:14:35,360
It's got, like, 12,000 views
already.
338
00:14:35,400 --> 00:14:36,680
(in American accent)
Fresh spaghetti, my queen?
339
00:14:36,720 --> 00:14:38,839
No, I had a big lunch, ya ride.
It has what?!
340
00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:40,879
(on phone) I'll ram that wooden
spoon... Huh?
341
00:14:40,919 --> 00:14:43,879
..not even flat 7Up'll cure ya!
342
00:14:43,919 --> 00:14:46,959
(laughing) Why did you keep doing
the voice, you fucking maniac?
343
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,160
Oh God!
344
00:14:54,279 --> 00:14:55,360
Okay.
345
00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,000
(on phone) ..the immersion on one
more time, I'll...
346
00:14:57,040 --> 00:14:59,480
(phone beeps)
(he gasps) Oh!
347
00:14:59,519 --> 00:15:03,319
(twinkling notification sounds)
348
00:15:03,959 --> 00:15:05,400
(he laughs)
349
00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:06,720
Aaaah!
350
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:09,160
Ah...
351
00:15:09,199 --> 00:15:13,400
♪ (upbeat electronic music,
monologue on phone continues)
352
00:15:19,160 --> 00:15:20,559
(keys tapping)
353
00:15:29,919 --> 00:15:31,959
(keys tapping)
(he mutters)
354
00:15:35,519 --> 00:15:36,639
(hits return key hard)
355
00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:42,239
(dog barks, monkey screeches)
(he laughs)
356
00:15:42,639 --> 00:15:45,480
Oh... (laughs) What is he even
doing?
357
00:15:45,559 --> 00:15:46,720
What are you doing?
358
00:15:47,680 --> 00:15:50,680
♪ Bill Whelan "Riverdance"
359
00:16:32,239 --> 00:16:34,639
("Riverdance" finishes, applause
and cheering)
360
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:37,360
Subtitles: RTÉ 2024
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