Original subtitles

BOY, IT SURE IS A PUZZLER, CHIEF.

WHY, OUT OF ALL THE STATES IN THE SOUTH,

DID WASHINGTON PICK NORTH CAROLINA

TO HAVE A SUMMIT MEETING?

LOOK, AMERICAN REPRESENTATIVE IS IN WASHINGTON, RIGHT?

AND THE RUSSIAN REPRESENTATIVE

IS JUST FINISHING A CRUISE TO SOMEWHERE,

AND HE'S DOWN IN FLORIDA.

NOW, WE CAN'T EXPECT THE AMERICAN

TO CHASE DOWN TO FLORIDA

OR THE RUSSIAN TO CHASE UP TO WASHINGTON,

SO THEY PICK A NICE IN-BETWEEN SPOT

TO HAVE THE MEETING -- THAT'S US.

Barney: SOMEBODY WANT TO GET THIS DOOR?

SO, WHAT WASHINGTON WANTS

IS A SMALL, ANONYMOUS, OUT-OF-THE-WAY TOWN,

BUT ONE THAT STILL HAS GOOD LOCAL POLICE SECURITY.

THIS IS A MEETING BETWEEN TOP GOVERNMENT OFFICIALS,

AND THE MAIN THING IS TO KEEP IT QUIET.

WHAT TOWN ARE YOU SUGGESTING?

WELL, I THOUGHT WE'D RUN DOWN THE ROSTER

AND PICK THE BEST ONE.

YOU KNOW, ON THE BASIS OF LOCATION, SHERIFF,

THINGS LIKE THAT.

I KNOW JUST THE TOWN YOU FELLAS ARE LOOKING FOR -- MAYBERRY.

WHAT ABOUT ARBON COUNTY?

ANYBODY KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THAT?

MAYBERRY. THAT'S THE TOWN YOU WANT.

THE SHERIFF DOWN THERE IS JUST --

FIFE, I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA GET US ALL SOME COFFEE.

I DID, CHIEF. IT'S RIGHT THERE.

OH. I DON'T SEE ANY CREAM AND SUGAR.

HOW ABOUT THAT?

HUH?

OH. WELL, I'LL, UH...

ALL RIGHT.

IF I CALL ONE THAT SOUNDS RIGHT, YELL.

DAVIS COUNTY.

ELKHART, FILMORE.

SHERIFF TAYLOR.

WELL, WHO'S CALLING COLLECT?

OH, YEAH, I'LL TAKE IT.

BARNEY!

HOW ARE YOU?

LISTEN, ANGE, I CAN'T TALK NOW.

I'M RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF A BIG MEETING

HERE AT HEADQUARTERS,

BUT I CAN TELL YOU THIS MUCH.

I'M WORKING ON SOMETHIN' BIG FOR YOU AND THE WHOLE TOWN,

AND, ANDY, I MEAN THIS IS SOMETHING REALLY BIG.

IT'S BIG.

WHAT'S IT'S ALL ABOUT?

I CAN'T SAY ON THE PHONE.

REMEMBER WHEN WE BROUGHT THE GOLD SHIPMENT

THROUGH MAYBERRY?

REMEMBER HOW BIG WE THOUGHT THAT WAS?

THIS IS BIGGER?

HOW'D YOU KNOW?

WELL, YOU SAID IT WAS BIG.

OH, IT'S BIG, ANDY, BIG.

Man: FIFE?

UH...LISTEN, I GOT TO GO NOW, ANDY.

THEY'RE CALLING ME BACK TO THE MEETING.

FIFE, WHERE'S THE CREAM AND SUGAR?!

UH...UH, COMIN'.

YOU'D THINK ONCE IN A WHILE

THEY COULD MAKE A DECISION BY THEMSELVES.

NOW, LISTEN, ANDY, I'LL KEEP IN TOUCH.

MEANTIME, KEEP THIS QUIET.

IT'S TOP SECRET, IT'S CONFIDENTIAL,

AND IT'S IMPORTANT.

AND IT'S BIG.

OH! BIG.

LOSTROW COUNTY...

MAYBERRY...

MAYBERRY...

THAT'S SHERIFF TAYLOR DOWN THERE, ISN'T IT?

YEAH.

DIDN'T SOMEONE MENTION MAYBERRY EARLIER?

WELL, ALL RIGHT, MAYBERRY IT IS.

NOW, THAT'S STEP ONE.

STEP TWO -- WE NEED A HOUSE,

UH, A NICE BIG HOUSE, SO THE MEETING STAYS INFORMAL.

HERE YOU ARE, CHIEF.

CREAM...SUGAR... AND SACCHARIN

FOR THOSE OF US THAT LIKE TO WATCH IT.

HEY, CHIEF, FIFE IS FROM DOWN THERE.

WHY DON'T WE ASK HIM?

HUH

ASK ME WHAT?

FIFE...

THERE'S GOING TO BE

A BIG SUMMIT MEETING HELD IN THIS STATE.

UH-HUH.

NOW, THE SPOT WE'VE SELECTED FOR IT IS MAYBERRY.

YOU'RE KIDDING.

THAT'S WONDERFUL.

I'M GLAD I WAS ABLE...

YOU KNOW THE TOWN AND THE PEOPLE.

SURE. OH, YEAH.

WE NEED A NICE, GOOD-SIZED HOUSE

TO HOLD THE CONFERENCE.

UH-HUH. SURE.

DO YOU THINK YOU AND SHERIFF TAYLOR,

COULD GET ONE OF THE TOWNSPEOPLE TO GIVE US THAT?

ARE YOU KIDDING?

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

THE KIWANIS CLUB MEETING HALL?

THE MORAVIAN CHURCH BASEMENT?

THE BANQUET ROOM AT THE BLUE VIEW MOTEL?

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

NO-NO-NO, WE NEED A HOUSE

A MANSION, AND WE NEED IT TOMORROW.

THAT'S SHORT NOTICE, BUT THAT'S DELIBERATE

SO WE CAN KEEP THE MEETING QUIET,

KEEP AWAY THE SIGHTSEERS.

YEAH, WELL, I'LL GET DOWN THERE

FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.

AND WHEN YOU GET THE PLACE,

GIVE US A CALL AND WE'LL BRING THE PEOPLE.

RIGHT.

Chief: FIFE...

NOW, THIS IS HISTORY WE'RE DEALING WITH,

AND YOU'RE A PART OF IT.

ANY QUESTIONS?

UH, WELL, YEAH.

UH, DO I GET A TRAVEL VOUCHER OR DO I JUST LAY IT OUT MYSELF?

YOU'LL GET A TRAVEL VOUCHER.

WELL, BARNEY!

HI, ANGE.

WANT TO DROP WHAT YOU'RE DOING AND SIT DOWN?

WE GOT THINGS TO DISCUSS.

WELL, NOW, WHAT IS THIS

JUST BARELY SAYING HELLO TO AN OLD FRIEND?

NOW, COME ON.

OH, WELL, I'M SORRY.

I GUESS IT'S LIVIN' IN THE BIG CITY

THAT'S DONE THAT TO ME.

WE'RE USED TO A FASTER PACE UP THERE, YOU KNOW.

OH, Y'ARE?

OH, YEAH, I DON'T EVEN TAKE THE TIME

TO STOP AND SAY HELLO

TO ANYBODY IN THE LOBBY OF THE RALEIGH YMCA.

THERE'S ALWAYS SOMEBODY IN THE LOBBY...

EITHER USIN' THE PUBLIC TYPEWRITER

OR EATIN' A PEAR.

HUH.

WELL, HERE, SIT DOWN

AND TELL ME WHAT BRINGS YOU TO TOWN.

WELL...

ANGE...

HERE'S THE SCOOP, ANGE.

THERE'S THIS BIG SUMMIT CONFERENCE

THAT'S GONNA TAKE PLACE RIGHT HERE IN OUR STATE,

AND YOURS TRULY SWUNG IT

SO IT'D BE HELD RIGHT HERE IN MAYBERRY.

RIGHT HERE IN MAYBERRY?

YEAH.

RIGHT HERE? YEAH.

YOU'RE KIDDING.

NO.

SUMMIT CONFERENCE.

WELL...

WHAT DO WE HAVE TO DO?

WELL, WHAT WE NEED IS A HOUSE -- A GOOD-SIZED HOUSE

SO THEY'LL ACCOMMODATE ALL THEM PUBLIC OFFICIALS.

AND I WAS THINKIN' ABOUT OLD MAN McCABE'S PLACE.

WELL, GEE, I DON'T...

I DON'T KNOW WHETHER MR. McCABE WOULD WANT US

HOLDIN' A BIG MEETIN' OVER AT HIS HOUSE.

SEE, HE'S BEEN LIVIN' BY HIMSELF ALL THESE YEARS,

JUST HIM AND HIS HOUSEKEEPER.

ANDY, I USED TO...

I USED TO PLAY IN HIS FRONT YARD.

I USED TO STEAL APPLES OUT OF HIS ORCHARD.

IT'S NOT LIKE A STRANGER ASKIN' FOR THIS.

IT'S ME, BARNEY FIFE, THE SCAMP.

THE WHAT?

THE SCAMP -- THAT'S WHAT HE USED TO CALL ME

WHEN I WAS A YOUNG FELLA.

COME ON, LET'S GET OVER THERE AND ASK HIM.

THE OLD PLACE HASN'T CHANGED A BIT, HUH, ANGE?

NO.

OVER THERE'S WHERE WE USED TO PLAY --

RUN, SHEEP, RUN... EARLY, EARLY, URCHIN FREE,

ONE, TWO, THREE, RED LIGHT.

YEAH...

AND RIGHT UP THERE'S

WHERE OLD MAN McCABE USED TO YELL DOWN,

"BARNEY, YOU SCAMP!"

YEAH.

NOW, HERE I AM, ALL GROWED UP

AND ON A MISSION FOR MY GOVERNMENT.

ONLY IN AMERICA, HUH, ANGE?

YEAH.

I DON'T HEAR ANYTHING.

I DON'T BELIEVE ANYBODY'S AT HOME.

HMM.

DOOR'S OPEN.

Andy: BARNEY.

BARNEY!

BARNEY, WHAT... WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

YOU CAN'T JUST WALK IN A MAN'S HOUSE LIKE THIS.

I JUST WANT TO TAKE A LOOK AROUND AND MAKE SURE.

BARNEY, MR. McCABE ISN'T EVEN HOME...

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

WELL...

IT'S PERFECT, JUST PERFECT.

BARNEY, YOU HAVEN'T ASKED THE MAN YET.

HADN'T WE BETTER COME BACK LATER OR CALL?

CALL, YEAH.

YEAH. YEAH, I GOT TO CALL.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

HELLO, OPERATOR?

GET ME POLICE HEADQUARTERS

IN RALEIGH, PLEASE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

THEY TOLD ME WHEN I LANDED A HOUSE, TO CALL.

I'M CALLIN'.

WELL, HADN'T YOU BETTER WAIT

AND ASK MR. McCABE FIRST?

YOU DON'T THINK HE'D TURN ME DOWN, DO YOU?

WHY, HE...

UH, JUST A SECOND.

UH, HELLO?

HELLO, UH, GET ME CHIEF DEWHURST, PLEASE.

OH, HI, CHIEF.

IT'S ME...YOUR MAN IN MAYBERRY. YEAH.

LOOK, I TURNED UP A GREAT HOUSE FOR THE CONFERENCE,

SO JUST SEND YOUR SUMMIT PEOPLE RIGHT ON DOWN.

HEY, BARNEY...

SHERIFF TAYLOR'S RIGHT HERE WITH ME.

GIMME, GIMME...

YOU WANT TO HOLD ON, ANGE?

YEAH. ALL RIGHT, HERE'S WHAT I'LL DO.

I'LL MEET YOU AT THE INTERSECTION OF THE TOWN LIMITS

AND I'LL LEAD YOU RIGHT TO THE PLACE.

YEAH. YEAH. WELL, NO, HE'S RIGHT HERE WITH ME.

LET ME SAY SOMETHING.

YEAH, OKAY, SO LONG, CHIEF.

IT'S ALL SET.

WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR?

I BET THAT'S MR. McCABE NOW.

NOW, YOU BETTER FIGURE OUT SOMETHING TO SAY.

I KNOW WHAT'LL GET TO HIM. COME ON.

YEAH, IT'S HIM ALL RIGHT.

WATCH THIS, ANGE.

RUN, SHEEP, RUN.

EARLY, EARLY, URCHIN FREE.

ONE, TWO, THREE, RED LIGHT.

WHAT THE DEVIL'S GOIN' ON...

AND WHAT'S THE SHERIFF DOIN' HERE ANYWAY?

HI, MR. McCABE.

IT'S ME, SHERIFF TAYLOR.

AND ME, THE SCAMP.

WHAT'S GOING ON, SHERIFF?

WHAT'S HAPPENED?

WAS THIS FELLA TRYIN' TO BREAK IN?

HELLO, THERE, MR. McCABE.

MR. McCABE, THIS IS BARNEY FIFE.

DID YOU KNOW THAT HE PLAYED IN YOUR YARD

AND STOLE APPLES FROM YOUR ORCHARD?

HI, MR. McCABE.

WHY...HE OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF HIMSELF...

BIG FELLA LIKE THAT.

WHY ISN'T HE IN SCHOOL, ANYWAY?

WELL, SEE, HE DOESN'T GO TO SCHOOL ANYMORE.

OH, I SEE, A DROPOUT, EH?

YEAH, A BIG DROPOUT.

HE LOOKS LIKE A DROPOUT.

LOOK AT THAT SLUMP, THAT SLACK JAW

AND ALL THAT HAIR.

UH, MR. McCABE, THE REASON WE STOPPED BY IS

WE WANTED TO ASK YOU SOMETHIN'.

AND SO YOU JUST WALKED RIGHT IN, EH?

JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE SHERIFF,

THAT DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO BUST INTO PEOPLE'S HOUSES.

MR. McCABE, COULD WE ASK YOU ONE THING?

McCabe: DON'T YOU DARE

TALK TO ME, YOU... YOU DROPOUT...

AND GET OFF MY PROPERTY, BEFORE I CALL THE POLICE --

THE STA POLICE.

LET'S GO, BARN. MR. McCABE,

COULDN'T I JUST...

ALL RIGHT, I WARNED YOU.

POLICE! POLICE!

MR. McCABE!

POLICE! MR. McCABE!

POLICE! MR. McCABE!

POLICE!

MISTER... ANDY, ANDY...

BARNEY, BARNEY, GET IN THE CAR.

JUST GET IN THE CAR.

POLICE! JUST GET IN THE CAR.

WELL, WHAT DO I DO NOW?

YOU DO WHAT I TOLD YOU TO.

YOU CALL YOUR CHIEF

AND TELL HIM YOU DIDN'T HAVE A HOUSE AFTER ALL

AND FOR HIM TO LOOK SOMEWHERES ELSE.

ANDY, I CAN'T DO THAT.

THAT COULD MEAN MY JOB.

WELL...

I'LL...I'LL HELP YOU MAKE THE CALL.

I'LL TELL HIM IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT.

YEAH, GET ME THE RALEIGH POLICE.

I'LL TELL HIM THAT YOU TRIED,

BUT IT JUST DIDN'T WORK OUT.

NOW, WHAT CAN THEY SAY?

NOW, HERE, YOU TALK TO YOUR CHIEF FIRST,

AND THEN I'LL TALK TO HIM.

GO AHEAD.

NOW, THERE.

HELLO?

UH, COULD I, UH, SPEAK TO, UH, UH,

CHIEF DEWHURST, PLEASE?

HUH?

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

WELL, THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY.

THEY'RE ALL ON THEIR WAY

TO THE BIG SUMMIT MEETING IN MAYBERRY.

IT'S REALLY A SHAME

THAT WE COULDN'T COME UP WITH ONE HOUSE

WHERE THE FOLKS WOULDN'T MIND THEM

COMING IN AND HAVING A MEETING.

JUST A NICE, FRIENDLY, COZY HOUSE.

BUT WHO?

WHO IN THE WORLD?

ANGE.

NO.

ANGE, LISTEN. NO, NO, NO.

WHAT WOULD BE WRONG WITH YOUR HOUSE?

NO. FORGET IT. FORGET IT.

I'VE GOT FOUR BEDROOMS AND 1 1/2 BATHROOMS

SO JUST FORGET IT.

BUT, ANGE, IT'S THE ONLY CHOICE WE'VE GOT.

WELL, I MEAN, I DON'T HAVE ANY CHOICE LEFT.

THIS IS A FAVOR TO ME, ANDY.

IT'S THE ONLY THING LEFT

TO PULL THIS OUT OF THE FIRE.

OTHERWISE...WELL, OTHERWISE

I JUST MIGHT AS WELL NOT GO BACK TO RALEIGH

BECAUSE I'D JUST, I'D JUST BE JUST FINISHED!

LET'S GO.

HUH?

WELL, I'VE GOT TO GO WARN AUNT BEE.

YOU MEAN YOU'LL DO IT?

WELL, I SAID LET'S GO.

I'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU.

WHO'S COMING HERE TO DO WHAT?

I'M, I'M, I'M SORRY

TO SPRING IT ON YOU LIKE THIS, AUNT BEE.

OH, ANDY, NOT TODAY.

OH, YOU DON'T MEAN THAT.

YES, I DO.

THEY SHOULD BE HERE ANYTIME.

ALL RIGHT, YOUNG FELLA,

LET'S GET THAT VEHICLE OFF THE STREET.

BEAT IT.

THEY'RE HERE.

OH, DEAR. OH, DEAR.

PICK UP, PICK UP, PICK UP.

OH, ANDY, LOOK AT THOSE CURTAINS.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT THE CURTAINS.

HERE.

NOW...

UH, COME RIGHT IN, GENTLEMEN.

STEP RIGHT IN.

COME RIGHT IN.

UH...

UH, HERE WE HAVE OUR GENIAL HOST HIMSELF

SHERIFF ANDY TAYLOR.

AND THE LITTLE LADY

IS THE SHERIFF'S AUNT, BEE TAYLOR.

ANDY, AUNT BEE, I BELIEVE YOU KNOW

MY, UH, CHIEF, CAPTAIN DEWHURST.

SHERIFF.

AND THIS IS THE DISTINGUISHED REPRESENTATIVE

FROM THE UNITED STATES, MR. CLIFFORD.

HOW DO YOU DO, SHERIFF?

AND THIS GENTLEMAN HERE SERVES AS THE INTERPRETER.

THIS IS MR. RUSKIN.

AND HERE WE HAVE THE DISTINGUISHED REPRESENTATIVE

FROM RUSSIA, MISTER...

HOW DO YOU PRONOUNCE HIS NAME AGAIN?

VASILIEVICH.

UH-HUH.

UH, AND THESE ARE THEIR ASSISTANTS.

GENTLEMEN, JUST MAKE YOURSELVES RIGHT AT HOME.

YOU CAN START SUMMITING ANY TIME YOU LIKE.

UH, MR. VASILIEVICH WOULD LIKE TO KNOW

IS THIS A REST STOP?

WELL, UH, NO.

UH, TH-THIS IS IT.

UH, THIS IS YOUR U.N. AWAY FROM THE U.N.

IS THIS THE HOUSE YOU SELECTED

FOR OUR MEETING?

THIS?

I DON'T UNDERSTAND, SIR.

WHEN WE GET BACK TO RALEIGH, I'M GOING TO KILL YOU.

WELL...

UH, MR. VASILIEVICH, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY.

THERE SEEMS TO HAVE BEEN A CHANGE IN PLANS.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO ON?

IT DOESN'T MATTER.

HE WILL MEET HERE.

VERY WELL.

WE THANK YOU KINDLY FOR THE USE OF YOUR HOUSE

SHERIFF, MISS TAYLOR.

IT'S A PLEASURE.

WELL, WOULD YOU GENTLEMEN LIKE TO FRESHEN UP?

WE HAVE 1 1/2 BATHS, YOU KNOW.

WHAT ARE THEY DOING?

MEETING.

DON'T SEE BARNEY.

WHERE DID HE DISAPPEAR TO?

WELL, HE EXPECTS TO DO A LOT OF STANDING AROUND

SO HE WENT UPTOWN TO GET SOME FOOT POWDER.

DON'T YOU THINK WE OUGHT TO FIX THEM A BITE?

NOT UNLESS THEY ASK FOR IT.

WE HAVE TO LEAVE THEM ALONE.

WHAT COULD WE SERVE THEM?

YOU COULD RUN INTO MT. PILOT AND BRING BACK SOME CHINESE.

I DON'T THINK THE RUSSIANS WOULD APPRECIATE THAT.

LISTEN, LET'S NOT WORRY ABOUT IT.

LET'S JUST LEAVE THEM ALONE.

ALL THEY WANT IS PEACE AND QUIET.

DON'T LET US DISTURB YOUR MEETING

BUT I WONDER

IF WE COULDN'T GET ONE PICTURE.

I'LL TAKE ONE WITH YOU IN THE GROUP,

THEN YOU TAKE ONE WITH ME IN IT.

EVERYBODY LOOK THIS WAY AND SAY CHEESE.

UH, FOLKS, FOLKS, I'M SORRY.

YOU CAN'T STAY HERE.

BARNEY SAID IT'D BE ALL RIGHT.

I DON'T CARE WHAT BARNEY SAID.

YOU CAN'T, YOU CAN'T STAY.

GOOBER, STOP TAKING PICTURES.

PAW, I LIVE HERE.

OH, WELL...

BARNEY, GET IN HERE.

PAW, I'VE GOT TO...

WELL, HURRY.

EXCUSE US, GENTLEMEN.

EXCUSE US.

DON'T YOU HAVE ANY SMART AT ALL?

TELLING GOOBER HE COULD COME IN HERE

AND TAKE PICTURES!

I DIDN'T TELL HIM HE COULD COME IN.

I TOLD HIM HE COULD PEEK THROUGH THE PORCH WINDOW.

Clifford: PLEASE!

THEY MUST WANT SOMETHING.

YES, SIR?

PLEASE. WE'RE TRYING TO GET SOME WORK DONE.

OH, YEAH, SURE.

YOU WANT TO HOLD IT DOWN IN THERE, ANGE?!

I'M SORRY THAT WE'VE DISTURBED YOU.

NO, NO.

I THINK WE'D BETTER QUIT NOW

AND GET A FRESH START IN THE MORNING.

IS THERE A HOTEL NEARBY?

A HOTEL?

OH, MR. CLIFFORD, WE'D BE VERY HURT

IF YOU DIDN'T SPEND THE NIGHT WITH US.

OH, AND I TOOK THE LIBERTY

OF MAKING YOU GENTLEMEN A SNACK.

WELL, WE DON'T WANT TO PUT YOU OUT.

UH, WOULD MR. VASILIEVICH LIKE TO STAY?

UH, HE SAYS AS LONG AS WE ARE IN IT THIS FAR,

WE MAY AS WELL GO ALL THE WAY.

OH, GOOD.

WELL, THANK YOU.

WE'LL HAVE THESE SANDWICHES

YOU WERE GOOD ENOUGH TO PREPARE

AND THEN GET A GOOD NIGHT'S SLEEP.

BARNEY AND I WILL SLEEP DOWN AT THE COURTHOUSE

AND OPIE CAN SLEEP HERE ON THE COUCH.

AND THEN THAT SHOULD LEAVE PLENTY OF ROOM

FOR ALL OF YOU.

AND BESIDES, I DON'T THINK

YOU'D CARE FOR THE MAYBERRY HOTEL ANYWAYS.

I HEARD THEY JUST HAD THE EXTERMINATORS IN THERE.

"PICK-LES."

"PICK

MMM, PICKLES.

MR. VASILIEVICH...

DID WE BOTH HAVE THE SAME IDEA?

ARE YOU HUNGRY?

HUH?

HUNGRY?

HUNGRY. DA.

I DON'T BLAME YOU.

SO AM I.

WE DIDN'T HAVE VERY MUCH DINNER.

WHAT DO WE GOT HERE?

HUH?

UH, HERE'S SOMETHING.

OH, HERE YOU ARE.

IT, UH, GOT VERY LONELY UPSTAIRS.

MR. RUSKIN, SIT DOWN AND HELP YOURSELF.

YOU MUST BE STARVED.

THANK YOU. I AM.

MR. VASILIEVICH, THIS IS WHAT WE CALL IN AMERICA

RAIDING THE ICEBOX.

RAIDING THE ICEBOX.

MISS TAYLOR, I HOPE WE DIDN'T DISTURB YOU.

NO, BUT I THOUGHT I HEARD SOMEBODY

DOWN HERE IN THE KITCHEN.

OH, YOU'RE HUNGRY, YOU POOR THINGS.

I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND OUR HELPING OURSELVES.

NO!

RAIDING ICEBOX.

THAT'S JUST FINE, BUT WHAT A WAY TO EAT.

YOU SIT RIGHT DOWN.

MY MOTHER ALWAYS SAID

IF YOU EAT STANDING UP, IT GOES RIGHT TO YOUR LEGS.

LET'S SEE WHAT WE HAVE HERE.

SOME POTATO SALAD.

THERE YOU ARE.

SALAD.

POTATO SALAD.

MMM. MMM.

HERE YOU ARE-- SOME FORKS.

LET'S SEE WHAT ELSE WE HAVE HERE.

MEAT LOAF AND BREAD PUDDING.

I MADE SOME BREAD PUDDING.

OH, YOU DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DRINK.

LET ME FIX YOU SOME COFFEE.

WELL, THIS IS WONDERFUL.

WE COULD CONTINUE OUR MEETING RIGHT HERE

COULDN'T WE?

MISS TAYLOR, WOULD THAT BE ALL RIGHT WITH YOU?

WHY, OF COURSE.

I'LL BE VERY QUIET AND I WON'T DISTURB YOU.

OH, DEAR, IF I KNEW THERE WAS GOING TO BE

A SUMMIT MEETING IN MY KITCHEN

I WOULD HAVE WASHED THE FLOOR.

WELL, HOPE THE OTHERS SLEPT ALL RIGHT.

'CAUSE IF THEY DIDN'T...

THEY'RE LEAVING.

DOES IT LOOK TO YOU LIKE THEY'RE LEAVING?

YEAH, IT DOES.

IT DIDN'T WORK OUT, AND THEY'RE LEAVING.

OH, BOY, I DID IT AGAIN, DIDN'T I?

COME ON.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

GOOD MORNING, GENTLEMEN.

GOOD MORNING, SHERIFF.

I WAS GOING TO CALL YOU LATER.

THERE WAS SOMETHING I WANTED TO EXPLAIN

TO YOU, MR. CLIFFORD --

BOTH YOU AND... HOW DO YOU SAY HIS NAME?

VASILIEVICH.

YEAH. I KNOW THIS WASN'T EXACTLY THE SETUP

THAT YOU WERE LOOKING FOR.

IT COULDN'T HAVE WORKED OUT BETTER.

AS A MATTER OF FACT, IT WAS PERFECT.

BUT YOU'RE LEAVING?

BECAUSE WE'RE FINISHED.

AND YOUR KITCHEN LAST NIGHT DID IT.

WHAT?

WE HAD SEVERAL RATHER DELICATE POINTS TO SETTLE

BUT THE ATMOSPHERE IN YOUR KITCHEN

DURING THE NIGHT WAS SO... PLEASANT, SO CONGENIAL,

THAT WE WERE ABLE TO HAVE

A MOST SUCCESSFUL, UNINTERRUPTED DISCUSSION.

WELL, ISN'T THAT NICE?

SO MY CONGRATULATIONS TO WHOEVER IT WAS

THAT STEERED US HERE

TO A QUIET, INFORMAL MEETING

IN A HOMEY KITCHEN

WITH A CHARMING, CHARMING HOSTESS.

WELL...

HERE'S YOUR MAN RIGHT HERE.

THIS FELLOW?

WELL, CONGRATULATIONS.

WONDERFUL, WONDERFUL.

WASN'T IT?

OH, MR. CLIFFORD.

MR. CLIFFORD, HERE NOW.

DON'T YOU FORGET THESE.

WHAT'S THIS?

SANDWICHES FOR THE ROAD.

NOW YOU KNOW YOU'LL GET HUNGRY.

OH, THANK YOU.

SANDWICH.

HE SAYS HE HAS GAINED TEN POUNDS.

IT SHOULD HAPPEN TO YOU.

YOU'RE A CHARACTER, YOU KNOW THAT?

HOW DO YOU SAY HIS NAME AGAIN?

VASILIEVICH.

I'M JUST ABOUT UNWINDING, YOU KNOW THAT, ANGE?

ME, TOO.

IT WAS NICE OF THE CHIEF TO GIVE ME A COUPLE DAYS OFF.

WELL, YOU DESERVE IT.

WELL...

YEAH, YOU BUILD UP A LOT OF TENSION

IN AN OPERATION LIKE THAT.

YEAH.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING, BARN?

YOU MIGHT LOOK AT IT THIS WAY --

YOU WERE DEALING WITH HISTORY.

WELL, YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

'COURSE, I SUPPOSE NOBODY WILL EVER KNOW

I HAD A PART IN IT,

'CEPT MAYBE A FEW PEOPLE AROUND HERE.

WELL...YEAH.

BUT I GUESS THAT'S THE WAY IT'S ALWAYS BEEN

WHEN YOU LOOK BACK.

I MEAN, SOMEBODY MUST HAVE ARRANGED WASHINGTON'S TRIP

ACROSS THE DELAWARE.

YEAH.

AND THEN SOMEBODY MUST HAVE PLANNED

FOR PERSHING AND THE KAISER TO GET TOGETHER.

I GUESS SO.

THAT'S WORLD WAR I. YEAH.

BUT NOBODY WILL EVER KNOW WHO THEY WERE.

NO.

BUT I GUESS THAT'S THE WAY THE BALL BOUNCES, ANGE.

THOSE OF US WHO CHART THE COURSE OF WORLD EVENTS

SHALL FOREVER REMAIN NAMELESS.