Original subtitles

HEY, OPE! HEY, GOOB!

OKAY IF I HAVE SOME AIR?

WELL, HELP YOURSELF. WE CARRY THE BEST AIR IN TOWN.

THANK YOU.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH THIS TIRE.

KEEPS GOING SOFT ON ME.

WELL, I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT IT TOO MUCH, OPE.

IT'S ONLY FLAT ON THE BOTTOM.

NOT FUNNY?

OH, SURE, GOOB.

I LAUGHED REAL HARD LAST TIME YOU SAID IT.

EXCUSE ME.

RUSH HOUR IS COMMENCING.

YEAH.

GOOD MORNING, SIR.

CAN I HELP YOU?

$3.00 WORTH OF SUPER.

YES, SIR.

YOU GET ANY NEW COMIC BOOKS, GOOB?

14 NEW ONES WHEN I WAS OVER IN MT. PILOT.

14?

YEAH. THAT'S THE BEAUTY PART

OF THE JOB I GOT HERE, OPE.

GIVES YOU PLENTY OF TIME TO FOLLOW YOUR CULTURE.

YEAH. DID YOU GET THE PURPLE AVENGER?

THE LATEST ONE--

ALL ABOUT THE GRUNGE PEOPLE.

HEY, I GOT TO READ THAT ONE--

RIGHT AFTER I FINISH IVANHOE FOR SCHOOL.

HEY, GOOBER.

I WONDER WHAT HE'S LOOKING FOR.

HEY, OPE, FINISH THIS FOR ME, WILL YOU?

OH, SURE.

CAN I HELP YOU, MISTER?

NO. NO, THANKS.

I KIND OF GET THE IDEA

YOU'RE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING.

YEAH, I'M LOOKING AROUND A LITTLE BIT.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?

I'M THINKING ABOUT BUYING THIS STATION.

BUY... BUYING IT?

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK IT'S FOR SALE?

YOUR BOSS TOLD ME.

HE WHAT?

THE STATION'S FOR SALE.

THIS STATION'S FOR SALE?

YEAH, THIS STATION.

WELL, I'LL...

WALLY'S SELLING THE STATION.

WELL, I'LL BE...

YOU DIDN'T KNOW?

WELL, HE NEVER TOLD ME A WORD.

WELL, THAT BEATS ANYTHING I EVER HEARD OF.

YOU'RE ALL READY TO GO, MISTER.

OH, THANKS, KID.

THE LEAST HE COULD OF DONE WAS TELL ME ABOUT IT.

WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN TO ME?

WELL, IF I DO DECIDE TO TAKE OVER THE STATION

I'LL GIVE YOU PLENTY OF NOTICE

SO YOU CAN FIND YOURSELF ANOTHER JOB. HERE.

CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT?

I BEEN WORKING FOR WALLY FOR ALL THIS TIME

AND HE DON'T TELL ME A THING ABOUT IT.

WELL, I'LL JUST BE.

MAYBE IT'S NOT TRUE.

WE'LL JUST FIND OUT FROM THE HORSE'S MOUTH.

HELLO, SARAH.

GET ME WALLY.

KICK A MAN OUT IN THE SNOW

AND NOT TELL HIM ONE THING ABOUT IT.

HELLO, WALLY.

I JUST HEARD THE NEWS

ABOUT YOU FIXIN' TO SELL THE STATION.

UH-HUH. WELL, YOU MIGHTY RIGHT I'M MAD.

WELL, I BEEN WORKING FOR YOU

FOR ELEVEN AND THREE-QUARTER YEARS.

NOW, WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT A JOB?

WELL, HOW DO YOU KNOW

I WASN'T INTERESTED IN BUYING THE STATION?

UH

UH-HUH. YEAH.

WELL, I'LL JUST GET BACK TO YOU.

YOU GOING TO BUY THE STATION, GOOB?

WELL, WALLY SAYS IF I CAN RAISE THE CASH

HE'S GIVING ME FIRST REFUSAL.

HEY, THAT'S GREAT.

TODAY YOU JUST WORK HERE

AND TOMORROW YOU'LL BE THE BOSS.

HUH? YEAH. YEAH!

I NEVER BEEN A BOSS BEFORE.

IS IT HARD?

I DON'T KNOW.

WELL, BEFORE I TAKE A STEP LIKE THIS

IT MIGHT BE A GOOD IDEA TO GO TO TOWN

AND TALK TO ONE OR TWO OF THE LEADING BUSINESSMEN.

"BOSS."

COME ON.

COME ON OUT OF THERE.

COME ON OUT OR I'M COMING IN TO GET YOU.

COME ON. COME ON.

EMMETT?

WHAT?

OVER HERE.

OH! HI, ANDY.

HI.

HOW YOU COMING?

WELL, I... I HAVEN'T GOT HIM OUT YET.

I CAN SEE HIM, THOUGH.

YOU KNOW, YOU'VE GOT

A REAL SHARP-LOOKING BIRD, ANDY.

OH, THANKS.

KEEPS GOOD TIME.

YEAH. KEEPS GOOD TIME.

BUT I JUST CAN'T GET THE BIRD OUT.

HEY, FELLAS.

OH, HI, GOOB. HI, GOOB.

EMMETT, YOU BEEN IN BUSINESS FOR YOURSELF

A LONG TIME, AIN'T YOU?

38 YEARS.

YOU LIKE IT OKAY?

WELL, GOOB, IF YOU'RE BORN

WITH THE QUALITIES OF LEADERSHIP

IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO FLY.

WHY ALL THE QUESTIONS?

ANDY, I SUPPOSE THERE'S CHANGES IN EVERY MAN'S LIFE, HUH?

I MEAN, IN HIS BUSINESS LIFE

THINGS AIN'T SUPPOSED TO STAY THE SAME.

OH. OH. OH, WELL, NO.

I MEAN, RIGHT HERE

FLOYD DECIDES HE'S GOT ENOUGH MONEY

AND WANTS TO RETIRE, EMMETT MOVES RIGHT IN.

YEP. I DECIDED TO STOP OPERATING

IN MY OWN HOUSE

AND MOVE RIGHT HERE INTO MIDTOWN.

I GOT A CHANCE

TO BUY THE FILLING STATION FROM WALLY

AND I'M JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT

IF I CAN HANDLE IT OKAY.

THE EXECUTIVE PART.

YEAH. I'M PRACTICALLY RUNNING THE STATION NOW.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

STILL, THAT'S NOT THE SAME

AS BEING THE BOSS.

IT'S A CHALLENGE, GOOBER, GOING FROM EMPLOYEE TO MR. BIG.

BUT I KNOW I COULD HANDLE IT.

WELL, MAYBE.

I KNOW I COULD.

I'M GETTING EXCITED ALREADY.

EXECUTIVES GET EXCITED, DON'T THEY?

OH, YEAH.

ALL THE TIME.

WELL, I'M GOING OVER TO THE BANK

AND SEE IF I CAN BORROW THE REST OF THE MONEY I NEED.

$2,000, EH, GOOBER?

YES, SIR.

WELL, WE CERTAINLY

LIKE TO ENCOURAGE THE SMALL BUSINESSMAN.

WHAT'RE YOU GONNA PUT UP FOR COLLATERAL?

HOW'S THAT?

COLLATERAL. SECURITIES.

YOU SEE, GOOBER, BEFORE I CAN GIVE YOU $2,000

TO MAKE YOUR DOWN PAYMENT

YOU HAVE TO PROVIDE ME WITH A GUARANTEE OF $2,000

OF UNENCUMBERED ASSETS.

WELL, I AIN'T FOLLOWING YOU TOO GOOD

BUT IT SOUNDS LIKE I CAN'T BORROW THE MONEY

UNTIL I PROVE I DON'T NEED NONE.

WELL, I GOT TO PROTECT THE BANK.

YOU CAN UNDERSTAND THAT, CAN'T YOU?

YOU SAID YOU WAS HERE TO ENCOURAGE THE BUSINESSMAN.

HOW COME I DON'T FEEL ENCOURAGED?

GOOBER, I'LL BE VERY FRANK WITH YOU.

THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY I CAN GIVE YOU A LOAN.

COSIGNERS, HUH?

YEAH.

I GOT TO MAKE A HOUSE CALL.

WELL, NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU WAS THE FELLERS

THAT TOLD ME I'D DO ALL RIGHT.

WELL, NOW... NOW, WAIT, UH... GOOB. WAIT. WAIT.

UH... SEE, YOU SAID

THAT YOU WOULD DO ALL RIGHT

ANDAGREED THAT MAYBE...

MAYBE YOU WOULD.

BUT CO-SIGNING A $2,000 NOTE--

THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY.

I'M NOT... I'M NOT PLEADING POVERTY, YOU UNDERSTAND

BUT I AM JUST A SALARIED MAN.

WELL, I DON'T THINK YOU'D BE TAKING NO GAMBLE.

UH...

UH... GOOBER...

AS ONE WITH EXPERIENCE

I'VE SAID TO MYSELF A THOUSAND TIMES-- I'VE SAID

"EMMETT, WHY DON'T YOU FORGET BIG BUSINESS?

"WHY DON'T YOU PULL OUT

WHILE YOU'VE STILL GOT YOUR HEALTH?"

I'VE SAID IT A THOUSAND TIMES.

WELL... UH... I REALLY SHOULD

BE MAKING THAT HOUSE CALL.

FINE FRIENDS.

IT'S GOT NOTHING TO DO

WITH FRIENDSHIP, GOOBER.

I SUPPOSE YOU BOTH KNOW THAT

IF SOMEBODY ELSE BUYS THAT FILLING STATION

I WON'T HAVE NO JOB.

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO NOTHIN' EXCEPT FIX CARS.

I SPENT MY WHOLE CAREER IN THE AUTOMOTIVE FIELD.

YEAH, BUT, GOOB, SEE... YOU... YOU'VE NEVER...

YOU'VE NEVER BEEN A BOSS BEFORE.

WELL, THERE'S A FIRST FOR EVERYBODY.

UH... UH... YEAH.

WELL...

IF THAT'S HOW YOU FEEL ABOUT IT.

GOOB.

UM... IF...

IF YOU DON'T GET THE COSIGNERS

YOU DON'T GET THE STATION

AND IF YOU DON'T GET THE STATION

YOU'RE OUT OF A JOB.

THAT'S IT.

UH... EMMETT... UH...

IF, UH... IF WE WERE TO...

TO BOTH CO-SIGN THAT

IT WOULDN'T BE ACTUAL CASH

AND I DON'T THINK

WE'D BE TAKING TOO MUCH OF A GAMBLE

BECAUSE THE PLACE HAS BEEN A MONEYMAKER FOR YEARS.

WELL, YEAH, BUT...

HEY, HEY, ANDY... ANDY...

I COULD HAVE THE LOAN PAID BACK IN NO TIME

AND I COULD THROW YOU

ALL MY ELECTRICAL AND IGNITION WORK.

WELL...

WHAT... WHAT DO YOU SAY, EMMETT?

WELL...

HEY, THANKS, EMMETT. THANKS, ANDY.

I NEVER WANT TO BE ASSOCIATED

WITH TWO NICER COSIGNERS.

YOU LIKE THE SIGN?

YEAH, I DO, GOOB.

IT LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE OFF AND RUNNING.

BEING AN EXECUTIVE

I DECIDED TO WEAR MY SUIT FOR THE FIRST DAY.

REAL IMPRESSIVE.

I GOT GEORGE, THERE, WORKING FOR ME NOW.

GOOB, YOU PUT ON AN EMPLOYEE ALREADY?

YEAH. YEAH.

WELL, CAN'T YOU HANDLE IT YOURSELF?

NO, I'LL BE SO BUSY WITH BRAINWORK.

CAN I STILL BRING MY BIKE IN HERE, GOOBER?

WELL, SURE THING, OPE.

POLICY ON BICYCLES AIN'T BEEN CHANGED ONE BIT.

"FREE AIR WITH A SMILE."

THAT'S A MOTTO I MADE UP.

GOOD, GOOB.

MADE UP ANOTHER MOTTO, TOO:

"FREE WATER WITH A SMILE."

FINE, GOOB. KEEP UP THE GOOD WILL.

GOT ANOTHER ONE:

"THE ONLY THING WE DON'T WIPE CLEAN

IS THE SMILE ON OUR FACES."

THIS IS GOING TO BE A JOLLY PLACE, ALL RIGHT.

I WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW THAT I EXPECT

TO MAINTAIN THE SAME FINE SERVICE YOU BEEN USED TO.

"ON THE BALL ALL THE TIME."

THAT'S VERY GOOD, GOOB.

COULD I HAVE THE HONOR OF BEING THE FIRST CUSTOMER

UNDER THE NEW MANAGEMENT?

WELL, YES.

FILL HER UP.

RIGHT, COSIGNER.

GEORGE, SHERIFF TAYLOR WANTS A TANKFUL.

OKAY.

GEORGE, GEORGE.

HUH? OH.

WE'RE GOING TO SALUTE HERE

LIKE THEY DO ON THEM TV COMMERCIALS.

OH. GOOD, GOOB.

WELL, PUMP AWAY, GEORGE.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

WELL, I BEEN SO BUSY WITH MY EXECUTIVE WORK

I FORGOT TO ORDER GAS.

HEY, GOOB.

OPE.

I BROUGHT THE SPACE PHANTOM AND SPIDER-MAN.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO TRADE?

WELL, SORRY, OPE, MY FICTION READING'S OVER.

GOT TO CONCENTRATE ON DEEP READING ONLY.

NATION'S INDUSTRY-- I'M PART OF IT NOW.

OH. DID YOU ORDER THE GAS YET?

WELL, IT'S COMING.

SURE, GOOB. IT COULD'VE HAPPENED TO ANYBODY.

WELL, YEAH, YOU OUGHT TO HEAR WHAT HAPPENS

TO SOME FELLERS IN INDUSTRY.

YOU EVER HEAR OF BERNARD HODLING

PRESIDENT OF CONSOLIDATED MOTORS?

NO.

THE FIRST YEAR HE WAS PRESIDENT

THE COMPANY LOST $17 MILLION.

HOW DO YOU LOSE THAT MUCH?

LET ME SEE.

HOW'D HE LOSE IT, GOOB?

WELL, HE WAS WORKING THERE AND THEY MADE HIM THE BOSS

AND HE COULDN'T HANDLE IT.

WELL, WHAT'S $17 MILLION?

"THE PRESSURES OF RUNNING AN..." WHAT'S THAT WORD?

"ORGANIZATION."

"ORGANIZATION SOON LED TO A..."

WHAT'S THAT WORD?

"DETERIORATION."

"DETERIORATION IN MR. HODLING'S HEALTH.

HE STARTED GETTING..."

WHAT KIND OF HEADACHES?

UH... "MIGRAINE HEADACHES

"WHICH FURTHER IMPAIRED HIS EFFICIENCY

AND MADE IT DIFFICULT FOR HIM TO MAKE DECISIONS."

I DON'T THINK YOU'LL GET ANY HEADACHES, GOOB.

"I FRANKLY ADMIT, AT AGE 36..."

WELL, I'M 36.

"I WAS NOT FULLY PREPARED

TO TAKE OVER THE PRESIDENCY OF THIS COMPANY."

WONDER HOW HE GOT THE JOB?

HIS DADDY DIED.

I TELL YOU, OPE

THERE'S A LOT OF PRESSURE BEING IN BUSINESS FOR YOURSELF.

YEAH. I GUESS.

GOOBER?

GIVE ME SOME GAS.

WELL, IT HASN'T COME YET, EMMETT.

IT HASN'T COME YET?!

WELL, I ORDERED IT, BUT IT TAKES THREE DAYS.

WELL, I NEED SOME WATER.

YOU GOT ANY OF THAT?

WELL, YES!

GOOBER, I DON'T SEE HOW YOU COULD FORGET TO ORDER GAS

IN THE FIRST PLACE.

WELL, IT COULD HAVE HAPPENED TO ANYBODY.

ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE GOING TO BE ABLE

TO RUN THIS GAS STATION ALL RIGHT?

IT'S A MATTER OF GETTING EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL

AND I GUARANTEE

EVERYTHING'S GOING TO START RUNNING SMOOTH.

I TELL YOU... THERE AIN'T GONNA BE ANYMORE SLIP-UPS!

NO MORE SLIP-UPS!

I USED TO WORK HERE, AND NOW I'M THE BOSS

AND I'M 36 YEARS OLD.

PRETTY SOON, I'M GONNA BE 37

AND I DON'T HARDLY EVER GET HEADACHES!

GEORGE?

YEAH?

HAVE YOU GOT ANY ASPIRIN?

NO. GOT A HEADACHE?

WELL, IT'S JUST A LITTLE MIGRAINE.

IT'S NOTHING.

HEY, GOOBER, I JUST FINISHED THE VALVE JOB

ON MR. PERKINS' CAR.

WHERE'S THE HEAD GASKET?

OHH...

WELL, I FORGOT TO ORDER IT.

WELL, MR. PERKINS IS EXPECTING HIS CAR

THIS AFTERNOON.

WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

ME? YOU'RE THE BOSS.

YEAH.

YEAH.

NOW, GOOBER, IN KEEPING YOUR BOOKS

THERE ARE TWO METHODS WE CAN USE FOR TAX PURPOSES.

KEEPING MY BOOKS?

YEAH. WE CAN EITHER USE THE STRAIGHT LINE METHOD

OR THE DECLINING BALANCE METHOD.

WE CAN GET AN EXTRA BREAK, YOU SEE

WITH THE DOUBLE DEPRECIATION OF PLANT AND FIXTURES.

UH-HUH. WHICH ONE DO YOU THINK'S BEST, HARRY?

IT'S UP TO YOU, GOOBER. YOU'RE THE BOSS.

BELIEVE ME, YOU PUT IN A THIRD PUMP

WITH PREMIUM GASOLINE, IT'LL DOUBLE YOUR BUSINESS.

IT'S LIKE... WELL, DON'T ASK ME. ASK DETROIT.

ANYTHING OVER SIX CYLINDERS COMING OFF THE ASSEMBLY LINE

NEEDS PREMIUM GASOLINE

LIKE A HUNGRY MAN NEEDS FOOD

LIKE A BABY NEEDS LOVE...

I DON'T RIGHTLY KNOW THAT I NEED A THIRD PUMP.

IT'LL INCREASE YOUR BUSINESS THREE-FOLD.

HERE'S THE WAY I GOT IT FIGURED... UH, LOOK...

SORRY TO BOTHER YOU AT THIS INCONVENIENT TIME,

BUT, OF COURSE, THIS IS AN EMERGENCY.

YEAH?

THE NAME IS MICHAELS, FRED MICHAELS--

EMBLEM OIL COMPANY, EL PASO, TEXAS.

I'M HERE TO FIND OUT WHAT YOUR DECISION IS ON THAT THIRD PUMP.

THIRD WHAT?

THE PUMP-- THE THIRD PUMP. YOU'VE ONLY GOT TWO.

I DIDN'T KNOW I HAD THAT MANY.

WELL, I WAS JUST OVER AT GOOBER'S SERVICE STATION.

HE SAID YOU WERE THE TOP BRAIN IN THE OUTFIT.

WELL, I'M NOT HIS PARTNER.

WELL, YOU'RE HIS COSIGNER, HIS ADVISER OR SOMETHING.

THE THING IS, DO YOU KNOW

THAT HE IS ONLY PUMPING SUPER AND REGULAR

AND THE BIG DEMAND TODAY IS FOR PREMIUM?

NOW, DOWN IN EL PASO

WE HAVE OUR FINGER ON THE PULSE OF THIS THING.

LOOK, MR., UH...

MICHAELS, FRED MICHAELS. YEAH.

EMBLEM OIL COMPANY, EL PASO, TEXAS.

I'M VICE PRESIDENT IN CHARGE OF REGIONAL SALES

FOR NORTHEASTERN NORTH CAROLINA.

WELL, GOOD, GOOD.

UH, MR. MICHAELS, AS YOU CAN SEE, MY HEAD'S WET

AND I'M TRYING...

AND I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH RUNNING THAT STATION.

WELL, I UNDERSTAND ALL THAT, OF COURSE.

MR. PYLE VALUES YOUR OPINION, YOU SEE... AND I DO, TOO.

THE THING IS, MY COMPANY HAS CONDUCTED

AN EXTENSIVE SURVEY OF THE MAYBERRY OIL MARKET.

THAT COULDN'T HAVE TAKEN TOO LONG.

YEAH...

UH, THE THING IS THIS, MR. TAYLOR:

YOU NEED THAT THIRD PUMP, AND, FRANKLY, I DON'T THINK

YOUR ASSOCIATE IS CAPABLE OF MAKING A DECISION

GOOD OR BAD.

YEAH, WELL, ONCE AGAIN, MR. MICHAELS

I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH RUNNING THAT STATION.

ALL RIGHT.

GOOD DAY, MR. TAYLOR.

OH, AND IF I WERE YOU

I WOULDN'T STAND AROUND DOWN HERE LIKE THAT.

YOU'RE LIABLE TO CATCH COLD.

WELL, MY GROSS IS OFF 40%, BUT I FIGURE IT'S SEASONAL.

40%?

WELL, YES.

GOOBER, UH, LISTEN

THAT FELLA YOU SENT OVER TO MY HOUSE

FROM THE EMBLEM OIL COMPANY...

I DIDN'T KNOW IF I NEEDED A THIRD PUMP

SO I FIGURED TWO HEADS IS BETTER THAN ONE DECIDING.

WELL, GOOBER, I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING

ABOUT THE GASOLINE BUSINESS.

I'M GONNA DO A LOT OF THINKING ABOUT IT.

I DON'T KNOW WHEN I'M GONNA FIND TIME.

I GOT SO MANY THINGS TO THINK ABOUT.

UH-HUH.

WHERE'S, UH, GEORGE?

GEORGE? YEAH.

HE QUIT.

HE QUIT.

YOU FEEL ALL RIGHT?

OH, OH, FINE, FINE. IT'S JUST A LITTLE HEADACHE.

A MIGRAINE. IT'S THE SUN.

YEAH.

I'LL SEE YA.

YEAH.

ALL RIGHT, NOW... 3:00.

CUCKOO!

UH-HUH.

CUCKOO!

ONE MORE TIME. COME ON.

CUCKOO! CUCKOO! CUCKOO! CUCKOO!

Andy: EMMETT!

NOW YOU MADE ME BREAK THAT IRON.

I'M SORRY.

LISTEN, I WAS JUST OVER TO THE SERVICE STATION

AND IT DOESN'T LOOK LIKE GOOBER'S GONNA MAKE IT.

I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU SO!

YOU WOULDN'T LISTEN.

NOW I'M OUT $1,000.

LISTEN, I'M SORRY I GOT YOU TO CO-SIGN THE NOTE.

I'M SORRY

BUT NOW WE'VE GOT A PROBLEM OF WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT.

I CAN'T AFFORD TO LOSE $1,000 ANY MORE THAN YOU CAN.

SURE, SURE, SURE.

I CAN'T!

AND I DON'T WANT TO SEE GOOBER GO DOWN THE DRAIN

SO I WAS THINKING.

MAYBE IF WE COULD GET HIM TO SELL THE STATION NOW

HE COULD GET BACK WHAT HE'S GOT IN IT.

AND GET US OFF THE HOOK?

I SUPPOSE THAT'S ONE WAY OF LOOKING AT IT.

IT'S THE ONLY WAY OF LOOKING AT IT.

WELL, SHALL WE GO?

ARE YOU STILL READING THAT STUFF?

I CAN'T STAND TO LOOK AT IT ANYMORE.

GOOB, WE DIDN'T FINISH READING ABOUT THAT MAN.

YOU OUGHT TO HEAR THIS.

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR NO MORE.

HE PROBABLY JUMPED OFF A BRIDGE OR SOMETHING.

NO, THE YEAR AFTER HE LOST $17 MILLION

HE MADE BACK $22 MILLION.

HE DID?

YEAH. LISTEN TO THIS.

"I IMMEDIATELY REALIZED THAT IF I WAS TO SURVIVE

"AS HEAD OF CONSOLIDATED MOTORS

"I HAD TO MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS--

"RIGHT OR WRONG--

AND TRUST THAT MY JUDGMENT WAS CORRECT IN MOST CASES."

HE SAID THAT?

YEAH.

"I KNEW THAT INDECISION

"AND LACK OF CONFIDENCE IN MY OWN ABILITY

COULD SOON SPELL DISASTER."

HMM.

"I REASONED THAT IF I WAS PUT IN CHARGE

"OF CONSOLIDATED MOTORS

IT MUST HAVE BEEN BECAUSE I WAS QUALIFIED."

HMM.

YOU KNOW, GOOB, I WAS THINKING.

MAYBE THAT'S WHAT MIGHT HAVE HAPPENED TO YOU

WHEN YOU FIRST BECAME BOSS HERE.

YOU DIDN'T TRUST YOURSELF.

I DIDN'T?

NO. YOU WERE TRYING TO GET EVERYBODY ELSE

TO MAKE UP YOUR MIND FOR YOU

BECAUSE YOU WERE SCARED YOU MIGHT MAKE A MISTAKE.

YEAH.

AFTER ALL, YOU RAN THE STATION REAL GOOD FOR 11 YEARS.

11 AND THREE-QUARTERS.

YEAH.

I DON'T SEE WHY YOU COULDN'T BE

THE BEST OWNER THIS STATION EVER HAD.

YEAH!

READ ME WHAT THAT MAN SAID AGAIN.

OH.

"I IMMEDIATELY REALIZED THAT IF I WAS TO SURVIVE

"AS HEAD OF CONSOLIDATED MOTORS

"I HAD TO MAKE MY OWN DECISIONS--

"RIGHT OR WRONG--

AND TRUST THAT MY JUDGMENT WAS CORRECT IN MOST CASES."

YOU WANT TO TELL HIM OR SHALL I?

MAYBE I BETTER.

ANDY! HI, EMMETT.

THE GAS COME. YOU WANT SOME?

UH, NO THANKS, GOOB. I'LL JUST GET YOUR WINDSHIELD.

I'LL HOP RIGHT TO THAT. EXCUSE ME.

GOOBER, WHAT WE WANT TO TALK TO YOU...

EXCUSE ME, EMMETT. YOU KNOW SOMETHING ELSE?

I BEEN THINKING ABOUT THAT THIRD PUMP, AND IT'S OUT.

NO NEED FOR A THIRD PUMP AROUND HERE.

WE'LL DO FINE WITH WHAT WE'VE GOT.

WELL, GOOD, GOOB.

WE'RE SELLING SERVICE. WANT ME TO CHECK YOUR BATTERY?

UH, WELL...

HEY, YOU KNOW SOMETHING ELSE?

ME AND OPIE'S BEEN DISCUSSING MY BOOKKEEPING SYSTEM.

WE'RE GONNA USE THE DECLINING BALANCE SYSTEM.

WELL, HOW DID YOU COME TO THAT DECISION?

TELL HIM, OPE.

WE LIKED THE SOUND OF IT BETTER.

HELLO, EMMETT.

HELLO, ANDY.

HERE IT IS, ALL FIXED FOR YOU.

OHH. YOU LICKED IT.

SURE, ONCE I WAS ABLE

TO GET MY MIND OFF THE GAS STATION AND CONCENTRATE,

I LICKED IT.

WELL, THAT'S GREAT. THAT'S JUST GREAT.

THERE'S SOMETHING I WANTED TO POINT OUT TO AUNT BEE

BEFORE YOU GIVE IT TO HER, THOUGH-- I GOT A LIST HERE.

WHEN IT CUCKOOS THREE TIMES, IT'S 2:00.

AND AT 3:00, IT'LL SING ABOUT FIVE TIMES.

AND AT 4:00, IT'LL CUCKOO TWICE.

IF YOU MEMORIZE THIS LIST, YOU'LL HAVE NO TROUBLE AT ALL.

OH, FINE. THAT'S JUST FINE.

HA HA. WHAT?

I JUST HAD A VISIT FROM THE COLLECTOR OF INTERNAL REVENUE.

TROUBLE? UP TO MY EARS.

OWE THEM $150 IN TAXES.

WHAT YOU SO HAPPY ABOUT?

WELL, THE OTHER DAY, I WAS JUST A LOWLY MECHANIC.

AND TODAY THE MOST POWERFUL GOVERNMENT IN THE WORLD

IS THREATENING TO SUE ME.

OH. WELL, CONGRATULATIONS, GOOBER.

YOU'VE GOT IT MADE.