Original subtitles

WELL, IT WAS SO NICE

YOU COULD HAVE DINNER WITH US TONIGHT, HOWARD.

WELL, I CERTAINLY APPRECIATE ANDY ASKING ME.

WELL, WE CAN'T HAVE YOU EATING AT THE DINER.

I HOPE IT WASN'T TOO MUCH TROUBLE--

YOU KNOW, THE UNEXPECTED GUEST.

OH, OF COURSE NOT; WE ALWAYS HAVE PLENTY.

I JUST HAD TO RUN OUT AND GET A COUPLE

OF EXTRA LAMB CHOPS, THAT'S ALL-- ONLY 94 CENTS.

HOWARD, IS THERE ANYTHING NEW

AT THE COUNTY CLERK'S OFFICE?

OH, NEVER MUCH NEW THERE, AUNT BEE

JUST THE USUAL ROUTINE.

IN MY OFFICE ONE DAY'S JUST LIKE ANOTHER.

AUNT BEE, ISN'T YOUR PROGRAM ON?

GOOD HEAVENS, I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS SO LATE.

OPIE, PUT ON THE SET.

HOWARD, I HOPE YOU LIKE TRAVELOGUES.

OH, YEAH, YEAH.

WE'LL LEAVE THE DISHES UNTIL LATER.

SURE, THERE YOU ARE, HOWARD.

WELL, I HOPE WE HAVEN'T MISSED TOO MUCH.

I HOPE NOT.

TONIGHT IT'S ABOUT THE CARIBBEAN ISLANDS.

OH, MAYBE WE'LL SEE SOME DANCING GIRLS, HUH?

Man: And now, Bill, we're going to leave

the major islands behind and set sail

for some of the smaller, unspoiled tropical isles

that dot the clear blue waters of the Caribbean.

ISN'T THAT BEAUTIFUL?

SURE IS.

As we approached the shore, we were enthralled

by the natural beauty of the many graceful palms

curving out over the white sands of the still lagoon.

WOULDN'T YOU LOVE TO GO TO A PLACE LIKE THAT?

SURE IS PRETTY.

BEAUTIFUL.

I HOPE THEY SHOW SOME LAND CRABS.

Temperature here only varies

a few degrees the whole year round.

Between the gentle ocean breezes and the tropical sun

man can find a virtual paradise

where food is plentiful and money is of little consequence.

NOT BAD, HUH?

Here, just a few thousand miles off the beaten path

men have found a haven

from routine...

freedom from the daily chores of modern civilization.

EASY LIFE, HUH?

MMM.

It's no wonder that many men have escaped here

to these gentle islands

where there are no deadlines to meet, no clocks to watch...

where men have found health and happiness

and time to pursue the real values of life.

MAKES YOU STOP AND THINK, HUH, HOWARD?

HOWARD?

HMM?

MAKES YOU STOP AND THINK.

OH, YEAH, YEAH. YEAH.

With a heavy heart, we weighed anchor

and sailed away from our little island paradise...

sailed away to the rigors of civilization

where we again picked up our humdrum way of life.

HI, MR. SPRAGUE.

HI, OPE. WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

I NEED A NEW BIKE LICENSE.

OH, IS IT THAT TIME OF YEAR ALREADY?

YEAH.

YEAH, JUST A YEAR AGO TODAY.

WELL, THAT'LL BE, UH... 50 CENTS, OPE.

YES, SIR.

THERE YOU GO.

THANKS.

50 CENTS...

AND BIKE LICENSES...

50 CENTS.

YES, SIR. THERE YOU ARE.

LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE BUSY.

YEAH, WELL, JUST THE USUAL ROUTINE, OPE... USUAL ROUTINE.

DO YOU DO A LOT OF STAMPING?

WELL, YEAH, YOU'VE GOT TO STAMP THEM WHEN THEY COME IN

SO YOU CAN STAMP THEM WHEN THEY GO OUT.

OH.

IT SOUNDS KIND OF DULL.

WELL, SOMEBODY HAS TO KEEP TRACK

OF ALL THE CITY'S OFFICIAL DOCUMENTS.

LIKE THIS BIKE LICENSE OF YOURS.

NOW, 20 YEARS FROM NOW, IF SOMEBODY WANTS TO KNOW

I'VE GOT TO BE ABLE TO TELL THEM THE EXACT DATE YOU BOUGHT IT.

WELL, WHO'D WANT TO KNOW THAT?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

I MEAN... JUST IN CASE SOMEBODY WANTS TO KNOW.

YOU KNOW.

OH.

WILL YOU STILL BE WORKING HERE 20 YEARS FROM NOW?

YEAH, I GUESS SO.

OH.

WELL, I GOTTA GO.

I'LL SEE YOU, OPE.

20 YEARS?

YOU WANT TO TURN THAT THING OFF?

IT'S BLOWING RIGHT ON MY NECK.

LOOK, THIS HAPPENS TO BE A PLACE OF BUSINESS.

WELL, YOU SURE AIN'T DOING NOTHING TO BUILD UP GOOD WILL.

HI, FELLAS.

Andy: OH, HI, HOWARD.

OH, HI, HOWARD. HI, HOWARD.

FIXING A FAN, HUH?

HEY, YOU'RE REALLY ON THE BALL TODAY.

WELL, GOOB, THAT OUGHT TO JUST ABOUT DO IT.

YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO?

WHAT'S THE MATTER, HOWARD?

HMM? I SAID, WHAT'S THE MATTER?

OH, NOTHING, NOTHING.

HEY, I CERTAINLY ENJOYED THAT MEAL LAST NIGHT, ANDY.

OH, GOOD, I'M GLAD YOU DID.

AND THAT WAS A VERY INTERESTING TRAVELOGUE, TOO.

YEAH.

WHAT TRAVELOGUE WAS THAT?

IT WAS ON THE CARIBBEAN ISLANDS.

OH, I SAW PART OF THAT.

MY TUBE BLEW OUT ON ME WHEN THEY WERE IN THAT LAGOON.

ANDY, DO YOU REALLY SUPPOSE

THERE ARE GUYS WHO JUST PULL UP STAKES

AND TAKE UP LIFE ON THOSE ISLANDS?

WELL, I GUESS EVERYBODY'S THOUGHT ABOUT IT

AT ONE TIME OR ANOTHER.

I DREAM ABOUT GOING TO A TROPICAL ISLAND LOTS OF TIMES.

THE VOLCANO WIPES OUT BOB HOPE

AND I GET DOROTHY LAMOUR.

COULD BE A GOOD LIFE, I GUESS

IF A FELLA HAD A NOTION TO TRY IT.

YEAH, BUT YOU'D HAVE TO BE A SPECIAL KIND OF PERSON...

YOU KNOW, KIND OF DEVIL-MAY-CARE.

YEAH.

TROUBLE IS, WE GET NAILED INTO A ROUTINE

AND GET IN A GROOVE, AND THAT'S OUR LIFE.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.

IF A FELLA JUST HAD SOME GUMPTION.

OH... LOOKS LIKE OLD HOWARD'S GETTING THE ISLAND BUG.

OH-HO-HO, NOT HOWARD.

HE'S NOT THE TYPE.

YEAH, A CONSCIENTIOUS FELLA LIKE HOWARD

WOULD NEVER DO A THING LIKE THAT.

NO.

SORRY, HOWARD, WE JUST VOTED YOU OUT.

WELL, I'VE GOT TO BE RUNNING.

I'LL SEE YOU.

BACK TO THE OLD SAWMILL, HUH, HOWARD?

YEAH. QUARTERLY SALES PERMITS.

YEAH.

WELL, I'LL SEE YOU.

OKAY, HOWARD. TAKE IT EASY.

BYE, HOWARD. SEE YOU, HOWARD.

It's no wonder that many men

have escaped here to these gentle islands

where there are no deadlines to meet

no clocks to watch...

where men have found health and happiness

and time to pursue the real values of life.

Opie: SOUNDS KIND OF DULL.

WILL YOU STILL BE WORKING HERE 20 YEARS FROM NOW?

Andy: YEAH, BUT YOU'D HAVE TO BE A SPECIAL KIND OF PERSON...

YOU KNOW, KIND OF DEVIL-MAY-CARE.

YOU DID WHAT?

QUIT MY JOB.

BOUGHT A PLANE TICKET AND I LEAVE THURSDAY.

A ONE-WAY PLANE TICKET, INCIDENTALLY.

WELL, NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, HOWARD, WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU KNOW, THE OTHER DAY

WE WERE TALKING ABOUT HOW GUYS

THINK ABOUT DOING A THING LIKE THIS

BUT SO FAR AS ACTUALLY DOING IT

WELL, NOW, THAT'S ANOTHER THING ENTIRELY.

ANDY, I'VE GIVEN IT A LOT OF THOUGHT

AND I'M GOING TO A LITTLE ISLAND IN THE CARIBBEAN

WHERE THERE AREN'T ANY RUBBER STAMPS

WHERE THEY THROW AWAY THE CLOCKS

AND A MAN CAN FIND CONTENTMENT.

WELL, HAVE YOU GOT THE ISLAND PICKED OUT AND EVERYTHING?

YEP. ST. BENEDICT'S-- PEARL OF THE CARIBBEAN.

A LITTLE STRIP OF SAND ABOUT FOUR MILES LONG

FOUR MILES WIDE

SURROUNDED BY CLEAR, BLUE WATERS.

YOU LAND IN TRINIDAD AND GET THERE BY BOAT.

IS YOUR MIND REALLY MADE UP?

YES, SIR.

WELL, WON'T YOU HAVE TO MAKE A LIVING OR SOMETHING?

WELL, YOU KNOW I'VE SAVED MY MONEY OVER THE YEARS

AND, UH, WELL, ACTUALLY LIVING DOWN THERE

COSTS PRACTICALLY NOTHING.

WELL, HOWARD, I... I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

I JUST NEVER FIGURED YOU

IN A MILLION YEARS, WOULD DO ANYTHING LIKE THIS.

ANDY, SOME MEN ARE TALKERS AND SOME MEN ARE DOERS.

I'VE DISCOVERED THAT...

I'M A DOER.

BEING A DOER, WELL...

TIME COMES WHEN A MAN'S JUST GOT TO FOLLOW HIS RAINBOW.

NOTHING YET.

Aunt Bee: WELL, HOWARD

HERE'S JUST A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR THE BUS TRIP.

IN CASE YOU GET HUNGRY.

WELL, THANK YOU, AUNT BEE.

HEY, HOWARD, THIS IS FROM US GUYS.

OH, HEY. WELL, I'LL CERTAINLY HAVE PLENTY OF TIME

TO LEARN HOW TO PLAY THEM.

WE DIDN'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO GET YOU, SEE.

DIDN'T KNOW WHAT YOU'D NEED.

WELL, ACTUALLY, A MAN HAS VERY FEW NEEDS

WHEN HE CHOOSES TO LEAD THE SIMPLE, CAREFREE LIFE.

YEAH. YEAH.

YOU MEAN YOU'RE GOING TO LOAF?

OPE.

OH, I'LL FIND PLENTY TO DO, OPIE.

HEY, HERE COMES THE BUS.

YEAH, THERE SHE IS.

SEVEN MINUTES LATE.

YEAH.

HEY, LISTEN TO ME-- STILL IN THE OLD RUT.

WHO CARES IF THE BUS IS LATE?

FROM NOW ON, TIME IS FOREVER.

HEY-HEY, THAT'S GOOD.

YEAH.

MAYBE I'LL WRITE SOME POETRY

WHILE I'M DOWN THERE, TOO.

WELL, LISTEN, I GUESS THIS IS IT, THEN, HOWARD.

GOOD-BYE, HOWARD.

GOOD-BYE. WE'RE GOING TO MISS YOU.

I'LL MISS YOU, TOO, AUNT BEE.

LOTS OF LUCK, HOWARD.

WELL, LISTEN, MAYBE AUNT BEE AND I

CAN COME DOWN THERE SOMETIME.

WELL, YOU'RE ALL MORE THAN WELCOME.

JUST LEAVE YOUR CARES BEHIND.

OKAY. WELL, HEY, HELP GET THE STUFF, OPE.

TAKE CARE, HOWARD.

GIVE ME THAT, GIVE ME THAT.

YOU GOT IT?

BYE, HOWARD.

Opie: BYE.

OKAY.

ALOHA!

HE'S GOT THE WRONG OCEAN.

I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.

AN INTELLIGENT MAN LIKE HOWARD

WITH A GOOD JOB

THROWING IT AWAY TO GO TO SOME ISLAND.

DOESN'T MAKE SENSE, DOES IT?

NO, IT DOESN'T.

MAKE MORE SENSE IF IT WAS ME.

WELL...

OH! HEY, WOW!

LOOK AT THAT.

DOES THIS SERVE YOUR NEEDS, SIR?

OH, YEAH!

IT'S PERFECT, JUST WHAT I'VE BEEN LOOKIN' FOR.

I-I CAN USE THE BEACH, CAN'T I?

YES, SIR. SUN IS ONE THING WE HAVE AN AMPLE SUPPLY OF.

MY OWN BEACH.

WOWEE!

A BLUE LAGOON AND SWAYING PALM TREES.

YEAH, WELL, THIS IS GONNA BE JUST PERFECT, JUST PERFECT.

TEN DOLLARS A MONTH YOU SAY, HUH?

THAT IS CORRECT, SIR.

THERE YA ARE.

THANK YOU, SIR, AND I HOPE YOU ENJOY YOURSELF.

THANK YOU VERY KINDLY.

SEE YOU AROUND.

AH...

HOWARD SPRAGUE, YOU'VE DONE IT.

YOU'RE A REAL ISLAND MAN.

* AH, THE APPLE TREE

* SWAYING IN THE BREEZE

* DA-DA-DA-DA DUM

OH!

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR, MISTER?

OH, WELL, I...

ACTUALLY, I'M JUST HORSIN' AROUND A LITTLE.

UH, WHAT'S YOUR NAME, SON?

SEBASTIAN.

WELL, PLEASED TO MEET YOU, SEBASTIAN.

I'M MR. SPRAGUE.

JUST CALL ME HOWARD.

NO SENSE IN US ISLANDERS BEING FORMAL.

WHERE DO YOU COME FROM?

MAYBERRY, NORTH CAROLINA.

YOU HAVE ROCK 'N' ROLL?

YEAH.

AND MOVIES?

SURE.

AND YOU LIKE FALLING IN THE WATER HERE BETTER?

WELL, NO. IT'S, UH, THE LIFE YOU PEOPLE LEAD DOWN HERE--

A LIFE OF PEACE AND CONTENTMENT.

I HAVE TO GO NOW.

YOU HAVE TO GO NOW?

YES. I HAVE TO TAKE THE FISH TO THE GENERAL STORE.

THEY BUY THEM.

OH, THE GENERAL STORE, HUH?

HEY, THAT'S AN IDEA.

UH, I MEAN, I HAVEN'T BEEN THERE YET.

HOW DO YOU GET THERE?

JUST FOLLOW THE BEACH.

YOU CAN'T MISS IT.

BUT IF YOU DO, YOU'LL JUST END UP BACK HERE ANYWAY.

THIS LITTLE ISLAND JUST GOES AROUND AND AROUND AND AROUND.

OH.

I'LL SEE YA, SEBASTIAN!

HI, THERE!

I IMAGINE YOU'RE THE PROPRIETOR.

I'D LIKE TO INTRODUCE MYSELF.

I'M HOWARD SPRAGUE, JUST DOWN FROM THE STATES

A COUPLE DAYS AGO.

I'M GONNA BE A NEW CUSTOMER OF YOURS.

NO CREDIT.

OH, OH, WELL, I'LL BE PAYIN' CASH

RIGHT ON THE OLD BARREL HEAD.

YEAH...YEP.

YES, SIR.

I IMAGINE THIS IS GONNA BE MY HOME FROM NOW ON.

'COURSE, I'M PRETTY WELL FIXED, YOU KNOW.

YEAH, GOT ENOUGH TO LAST ME FOR A WHILE,

BUT, UH, LATER ON, I FIGURE, JUST TO KEEP BUSY,

I MIGHT GET INVOLVED IN NATIVE HANDICRAFTS.

MAKE LITTLE SHIPS IN BOTTLES, MAYBE, AND SELL 'EM.

YEAH, WELL, I'LL PROBABLY COME UP WITH SOMETHING.

ACTUALLY, I JUST DROPPED IN

TO MEET SOME OF MY FELLOW ISLANDERS.

OKAY.

GROVER...

GROVER!

HUH?

IS IT SUNDAY ALREADY?

NO, NO, NOT YET, GROVER.

I JUST WANT YOU TO MEET SOMEBODY.

THIS IS, UH... WHAT IS IT?

UH, HOWARD.

HOWARD.

THIS IS GROVER, THIS IS WES

AND THIS IS...

THAT'S NORM.

WELL, IT CERTAINLY IS A PLEASURE TO MEET YOU FELLAS.

HOW LONG Y'ALL BEEN DOWN HERE?

OH! 10, 15 YEARS.

OH!

GROVER USED TO BE A BIG LAWYER

BACK IN DETROIT.

OH! WELL...

WANNA BUY A SHIP IN A BOTTLE?

UH, UH, NO, THANKS.

HEY, WHY DON'T YOU FELLAS

ALL COME OUT TO MY PLACE FOR A SWIM?

I GOT A SET OF BONGOS.

WE COULD TAKE TURNS.

OR MAYBE WE COULD JUST HAVE A PICNIC.

WE OUGHT TO GET ACQUAINTED.

THERE MUST BE SOMETHING WE COULD DO.

THERE AIN'T NOTHIN' TO DO.

THOSE GUYS PROBABLY NEVER HAD ANY AMBITION IN THE FIRST PLACE.

BET HE WASN'T MUCH OF A LAWYER, EITHER.

A BUM BEFORE HE GOT HERE.

THOSE ARE THE KINDA GUYS THAT END UP TALKIN' TO THEMSELVES.

HI.

HELLO.

NO CREDIT.

NO, WE'RE NOT LOOKING TO BUY ANYTHING.

WE'RE TRYING TO GET SOME INFORMATION.

A DEAR FRIEND OF OURS CAME TO LIVE HERE A COUPLE OF MONTHS AGO

AND WE'RE JUST TRYING TO GET THE ADDRESS.

HOWARD SPRAGUE?

HOWARD WHAT?

SPRAGUE.

UH...

TALL, DISTINGUISHED-LOOKING MAN WITH A LITTLE MOUSTACHE?

OH. OH, YEAH, YEAH.

HE'S OVER THERE.

THAT'S HOWARD?!

NO.

YEP. THAT'S HIM, ALL RIGHT.

HE WENT DOWN FASTER THAN MOST.

OH, HOWARD.

HOWARD?

HOWARD, IT'S ANDY AND AUNT BEE.

YOU WANNA BUY A SHIP IN A BOTTLE?

OH... DEAR.

HOW... HOW DID IT HAPPEN?

YOU KNOW.

POOR HOWARD. HE HAD SUCH HIGH HOPES.

HE WAS THE COUNTY CLERK IN MAYBERRY, WHERE WE COME FROM.

Bee: OH, YES, A HIGHLY RESPECTED CITIZEN.

LOVED BY ALL HIS FRIENDS AND NEIGHBORS.

WHY DID HE LEAVE SUCH A PRODUCTIVE AND USEFUL LIFE?

HOWARD, WHY DID YOU DO IT?

HOWARD?

ANDY, COME ON, LET'S...

JUST A MINUTE, GOOB.

WELL, IF WE'RE GONNA GO BOWLIN', LET'S GO!

HI, FELLAS.

HEY, HOWARD!

WELL, HOWARD!

FOR GOODNESS SAKE!

WHAT IN THE WORLD?

I JUST GOT OFF THE BUS, SAW YOUR LIGHT.

WELL, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE?

WELL, I'VE COME HOME.

FOR GOOD?!

YEAH.

WELL, THAT'S GREAT, HOWARD.

THAT'S JUST GREAT!

WHAT HAPPENED? IT WASN'T AS NICE AS YOU THOUGHT IT WOULD BE, HUH?

OH, WELL, IT-IT WAS NICE, ALL RIGHT.

I MEAN, THE ISLAND HAD EVERYTHING

JUST LIKE THE TRAVELOGUE SAID IT WOULD.

YEAH?

BROAD BEACHES AND BLUE LAGOONS

SWAYING PALM TREES AND ALL.

BUT I DISCOVERED SOMETHING.

I-I DISCOVERED THAT THE AVERAGE MAN--

AND I GUESS I'M ABOUT AS AVERAGE AS YOU CAN GET--

CAN'T JUST SIT AROUND DOING NOTHIN'.

HE'S GOT TO HAVE SOME INCENTIVE

TO MAKE LIFE INTERESTING AND WORTHWHILE.

WELL, I CERTAINLY AGREE WITH THAT, HOWARD

BUT I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO FOLLOW YOUR RAINBOW

AND EVERYTHING.

YEAH, WELL, I GUESS I JUST FOLLOWED IT TO THE WRONG END.

MY POT OF GOLD'S RIGHT HERE IN MAYBERRY.

AH, THAT'S PRETTY.

YOU ALWAYS DID HAVE A WAY WITH WORDS.

WELL, I'M KIND OF BUSHED, FELLAS.

I JUST WANTED TO SAY HELLO.

I'LL BE GETTIN' HOME.

OH, OKAY, OKAY.

HEY, UH, HOWARD--

UH, YOUR JOB IS STILL OPEN, IF-IF YOU WANT IT.

OH, I SURE DO.

OH.

THANKS.

OH, WELL, GOOD.

I'LL SEE YA IN THE MORNING.

BYE, HOWARD. BYE, HOWARD.

WELL, WE'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW, HOWARD.

GOOD NIGHT, FELLAS.

GOOD NIGHT! GOOD NIGHT!

I SURE AM GLAD TO SEE HIM BACK.

YEAH. ME, TOO.

I NEVER SAID IT BEFORE

BUT I ALWAYS FIGURED

THAT WAS A PRETTY STUPID THING HE DONE--

GOIN' AWAY LIKE THAT.

WELL, MAYBE, MAYBE NOT, GOOB.

FELLA HAS A DREAM

HE GOES AFTER IT, IT DOESN'T WORK

HE COMES BACK.

A FELLA LIKE THAT'S KINDA LIVED A LITTLE, YOU KNOW?

I GUESS.

HMM.

HI, GUYS!

HOW YOU DOIN'?

BEAUTIFUL NIGHT, HUH?

YEAH, YOU GETTIN' USED

TO THE OLD PLACE AGAIN, HUH?

ALMOST LIKE I NEVER BEEN AWAY.

SAY, HOW ABOUT SOME POP FOR FELLAS?

MY TREAT.

GOOD IDEA, BUT I'M BUYIN'.

NOBODY BUYS AT MY GAS STATION 'CEPT ME.

I'M THE ONE THAT OUGHT TO BE BUYIN',

TO WELCOME MYSELF HOME.

NOTHIN' DOIN', NOTHIN' DOIN'.

THERE WE ARE, GOOD OLD POP.

HITS THE SPOT.

THERE WE ARE.

THERE YOU ARE, GOOD, HUH?

NICE NIGHT.

NICE LITTLE BREEZE FROM THE WEST.

MM-HMM.

YEAH.

THAT ONE OF WENDELL'S DOGS?

MUST BE.

YEAH, THERE GO THE REST OF 'EM.

HUNTIN' AGAIN.

YEAH.

GOOD POP.

SURE IS.

HITS THE SPOT, DOESN'T IT?