Original subtitles

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT, EMMETT?

OH, I WAS THINKING ABOUT GETTING A NEW PAIR OF SHOELACES.

THAT RIGHT ONE SNAPPED ON ME THIS MORNING.

YEAH. I SEE THAT.

I HATE TO BUY SHOELACES.

ALWAYS A PROBLEM REMEMBERING WHAT SIZE YOU NEED.

RIGHT, ANDY?

HMM?

I SAY IT'S A PROBLEM

FOR THE AVERAGE MAN TO BUY SHOELACES.

NO.

ALL RIGHT. WHAT SIZE DO YOU WEAR?

18 32?

COME ON. QUICK. QUICK. QUICK. QUICK. QUICK.

LOOKS LIKE HE'S GOT YOU DEAD TO RIGHTS.

GOD BLESS YOU.

THANK YOU.

I THINK I'LL GO IN THE SHOP AND MEASURE MY SHOELACES.

HEY, EMMETT, BE SURE AND LET ME KNOW WHAT THEY MEASURE.

RIGHT.

HARVEY...

HI, ANDY.

YOU SEE THAT SIGN OVER THERE?

YEAH?

I'VE GOT THOSE SIGNS POSTED ALL OVER TOWN.

I KNOW. I SEEN 'EM. GREAT IDEA, ANDY.

TIME WE CRACKED DOWN ON SOME OF THOSE CRAZY DRIVERS.

YOU'RE RIGHT, AND I'VE NEVER SEEN

ANYTHING CRAZIER THAN WHAT YOU JUST DID --

A U-TURN RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF MAIN STREET.

NOW, THAT'S AGAINST THE LAW, HARVEY.

IT ALWAYS HAS BEEN, AND YOU KNOW IT.

GIVE HIM A TICKET, ANDY.

WELL, THERE WAS NOBODY COMING' EITHER WAY.

I LOOKED.

THAT'S GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

YOU NOT ONLY BROKE THE LAW, BUT DURING THIS WEEK

WHEN WE'RE TRYING TO CRACK DOWN ON RECKLESS DRIVERS.

ATTABOY, ANDY.

GIVE HIM A TICKET.

GOOBER, KEEP YOUR NOSE OUT OF THIS.

THERE YOU ARE.

HA HA.

Emmett: ATTABOY, ANDY.

YOU LET THEM FELLAS GET AWAY WITH IT ONCE,

THEY'LL WALK ALL OVER YOU.

YOU SAID IT, EMMETT.

YOU WANT SOME COFFEE? I JUST PUT ON A POT.

YOU WANT SOME?

HMM.

YOU KNOW, ANDY, I HAD AN IDEA

ABOUT THAT SAFETY CAMPAIGN OF YOURS.

I WAS THINKING THAT IF YOU MADE A LIST

OF ALL THE FOLKS YOU GAVE TICKETS TO, THEM FOLKS FROM --

OH, GOOBER, INCIDENTALLY, THE LACE IS 27 INCHES.

OH! HEY, 27 INCHES.

NOW YOU KNOW.

IF YOU POSTED A LIST OF ALL THE FOLKS YOU GAVE TICKETS TO,

THEN FOLKS WOULD KNOW YOU WERE SERIOUS

AND IT WASN'T JUST SOME KIND OF A WARNING OR SOMETHING.

HUH. MIGHT BE AN IDEA.

YOU GETTING' A COLD?

NO. JUST A LITTLE SNIFFLE.

NO SUCH THING AS A LITTLE SNIFFLE.

A SNIFFLE'S A SNIFFLE.

YOU SNEEZED A COUPLE OF TIMES, TOO.

WELL, I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

YOU OUGHT TO GO SEE DOC ROBERTS.

AN OUNCE OF PREVENTION IS WORTH A POUND OF CURE.

GOOBER'S RIGHT.

WITH THIS SAFETY CAMPAIGN IN FULL SWING,

YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO BE ON YOUR BACK.

ANDY, YOU KNOW, I WAS THINKING'...

WITH THIS BEING A ONE-SHERIFF TOWN

WHAT'D EVER HAPPEN AROUND HERE IF YOU WAS TO GET SICK?

I HAVEN'T BEEN SICK SINCE I TOOK ON THE JOB, HAVE I?

Emmett: WELL, THAT AIN'T SAYING' YOU COULDN'T BE.

OH, JUST--JUST FORGET IT.

THERE'S ANOTHER ONE. GOD BLESS YOU.

ALL RIGHT. SO?

YOU KNOW, ANDY, I WOULDN'T TAKE THIS THING TOO LIGHTLY.

A TOWN WITHOUT A SHERIFF IS A TOWN WITHOUT LAW.

AND A TOWN WITHOUT LAW IS A TOWN WITHOUT A CONSCIENCE.

HEY, EMMETT, THAT'S A GOOD THING YOU SAID THERE.

THANKS.

I'LL SEE YOU GUYS.

ANDY?

HMM?

DON'T YOU FEEL WELL?

I FEEL FINE.

YOU HAVEN'T EVEN TOUCHED YOUR FOOD.

HMM. NOT HUNGRY.

YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN SNIFFLING EVER SINCE YOU GOT HOME?

I THINK YOU GOT A COLD COMING' ON.

GONNA EAT YOUR SUPPER?

YES, PA.

YOU EVEN LOOK A LITTLE FLUSHED TO ME.

ME TOO.

OPIE!

GEE, PA, THAT'S WHAT YOU ALWAYS TO DO ME

WHEN I HAVE A COLD COMING' ON.

I DON'T HAVE A COLD COMING ON.

OH, ANDY, STOP BEING SUCH A GREAT BIG, STRONG MAN

WHO'S NEVER BEEN SICK A DAY IN HIS LIFE

AND DOESN'T INTEND TO BE.

I THINK HE SHOULD GO TO BED AND FORCE FLUIDS.

CAN WE JUST CHANGE THE SUBJECT?

GEE, PA, FORCING FLUIDS MAKES YOU PERSPIRE,

AND THAT BREAKS YOUR FEVER.

THOSE ARE YOUR OWN WORDS.

I DON'T HAVE A FEVER.

YOU FELT WARM TO ME.

I'M GOING TO CALL DR. ROBERTS.

YOU'LL DO NOTHING OF THE SORT.

I'VE JUST GOT A LITTLE SNIFFLE.

I'LL GO TO BED EARLY, AND TOMORROW IT'LL BE GONE.

IF IT ISN'T, WILL YOU PROMISE TO CALL DR. ROBERTS?

YES, I PROMISE.

WHEN IS DOC ROBERTS COMING BACK?

ON HIS WAY BACK FROM HIS HOUSE CALLS.

I'M JUST DOING THIS NOW SO EVERYBODY CAN FORGET ABOUT IT.

I MUST SAY, YOU DO LOOK A LITTLE PEAKED.

WELL, THAT'S WHAT I WAS THINKING.

LOOKIT THERE.

LOOK HOW PALE HIS CHEEKS ARE.

WELL, YOUR CHEEKS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN ROSY RED.

THEY HAVE NOT BEEN ROSY RED.

HOWARD, HASN'T ANDY'S CHEEKS ALWAYS BEEN ROSY RED?

WELL, I'VE ALWAYS FELT

THAT WHILE ANDY'S COMPLEXION ISN'T RUDDY BY NATURE,

HE USUALLY HAS MORE COLOR THAN HE HAS RIGHT NOW.

CAN'T YOU EVER JUST SAY YES OR NO?

HI, ANDY.

A LITTLE UNDER THE WEATHER?

OH, A LITTLE BIT-- NOTHIN' SERIOUS.

HE'S CATCHIN' A COLD, MAYBE WORSE.

WHY DON'T WE LET THE DOCTOR DECIDE WHAT I'VE GOT

OR, MORE IMPORTANT, WHAT I DON'T HAVE?

WELL, THAT'S OKAY WITH US.

THANK YOU.

OPEN UP.

AUNT BEE MADE HIM CALL YOU.

IF HE'S GOT SOMETHING, BEST TO CATCH IT EARLY.

AN OUNCE OF PREVENTION IS WORTH A POUND OF CURE.

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I SAID, AND I'M NOT EVEN A DOCTOR.

HE'S TAKING' HIS PULSE.

I KNOW.

HE OUGHT TO CHECK HIS THROAT, TOO.

WELL, IF HE DON'T, YOU MIGHT MENTION IT TO HIM.

HOW YOU FEELIN', ANDY?

WHAT'D YOU SAY? WHAT?

GOOBER, PUT THAT BACK!

LEAN BACK, ANDY.

YOU KNOW, I'VE OFTEN WONDERED WHY THEY DO THAT.

WELL, THEY CHECK THERE TO SEE IF THERE'S

ANY CONGESTION IN THE LUNGS, I THINK.

WELL, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

OH, YEAH.

HMM.

WHAT'D I TELL YOU?

HEAR ANYTHING, DOCTOR?

YOU'VE GOT SOME TEMPERATURE.

OPEN UP.

ANDY, YOU'VE GOT SOMETHING, ALL RIGHT.

WELL, WHAT KIND OF PILLS DO YOU WANT ME TO TAKE?

I'LL GIVE YOU A PRESCRIPTION,

BUT I WANT YOU TO DO MORE THAN THAT.

I WANT YOU TO GO HOME AND GET IN BED.

GET IN BED?

YOU PICKED UP THE FLU BUG SOMEPLACE.

THESE THINGS USUALLY TAKE TWO OR THREE DAYS

TO RUN THEIR COURSE -- IF YOU TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF.

I'LL RUN YOU HOME, ANDY.

CAN'T I CAN'T TAKE CARE OF MYSELF SITTIN' BEHIND--

IN BED, ANDY, IN BED.

I'LL DROP HIM OFF, HOWARD, ON THE WAY.

I'LL GIVE AUNT BEE SOME INSTRUCTIONS.

ALL RIGHT.

GOOBER, YOU OR HOWARD--

TELL SARAH IF ANYBODY'S LOOKING FOR ME

THEY CAN, UH, THEY CAN FIND ME AT HOME.

Goober: RIGHT, ANDY.

HELLO.

OH, ANDY, I HOPE I DIDN'T DISTURB YOU.

WELL...

NO.

YOU MUST GET AS MUCH REST AS POSSIBLE.

THAT'S RIGHT.

LET ME CHANGE THAT FOR YOU.

YOU'LL SLEEP A LOT BETTER WITH A FRESH PILLOWCASE.

CLARA CALLED A WHILE AGO.

SHE SAID THAT HER NEPHEW HAS THE SAME THING.

IT'S ONLY A MATTER OF REST...

REST, REST...

REST.

RIGHT.

THERE WE ARE!

THERE.

NOW, ISN'T THAT BETTER?

MUCH.

NOW I'LL SQUEEZE YOU SOME FRESH LEMONADE.

AUNT BEE, I'VE ALREADY HAD 12 GLASSES.

YOU KNOW WHAT THE DOCTOR SAID: AS MUCH AS YOU CAN TAKE.

THAT...AND REST.

BUT, GOOBER, DR. ROBERTS GAVE STRICT ORDERS

THAT HE'S GOT TO REST.

I KNOW, OPE, BUT THIS IS POLICE BUSINESS.

REALLY IMPORTANT, HUH?

MIGHTY IMPORTANT OR I WOULDN'T BE HERE.

WELL...I GUESS YOU CAN GO UP, THEN.

THANKS.

ANDY?

HOW YOU FEELIN'?

A LITTLE TIRED, GOOBER. A LITTLE TIRED.

THE DOCTOR SAID YOU OUGHT TO GET PLENTY OF REST.

THAT'S RIGHT.

I WOULDN'T BE HERE NOW

IF IT WEREN'T FOR OFFICIAL BUSINESS.

ME, EMMETT, AND HOWARD HAD A BIG MEETING' THIS MORNING'

DISCUSSIN' THE POLICE SITUATION IN MAYBERRY TILL YOU GET BETTER.

YOU AND EMMETT AND HOWARD HAD A MEETING?

IT'S WHAT WE CALLED A POLICE EMERGENCY COMMITTEE.

I WAS THE CHAIRMAN.

I TOLD 'EM TO HUSH UP AND ALL THAT.

WELL, I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT A COMMITTEE.

I'LL BE BACK IN A COUPLE DAYS, GOOBER.

WELL, IT'S THEM COUPLE OF DAYS THAT WE WERE WORRIED ABOUT,

WHAT WITH THIS AUTOMOBILE SAFETY CAMPAIGN GOIN' ON.

IF WE WAS TO ONCE LET THE BARS DOWN ON THIS TOWN,

THERE'S NO TELLIN' WHAT IT MIGHT LEAD TO.

SO THE COMMITTEE FIGURED ME BEING THE ONLY ONE

WITH DEPUTY EXPERIENCE... NO.

...WE DECIDED I OUGHT TO TAKE OVER

THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE TILL YOU GET BACK. NO.

I GOT RODNEY TAKIN' CARE OF THE FILLIN' STATION. NO.

THERE'S NOBODY IN THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE. NO!

THERE'S NO LAW ENFORCEMENT IN THE WHOLE TOWN!

SARAH WILL CALL ME IF ANYTHING HAPPENS.

I'VE HELPED YOU OUT BEFORE.

I KNOW YOU HAVE, GOOBER.

AND I'VE DONE A GOOD JOB. WELL, SOMETIME...

PLEASE. WELL...

PLEASE. PLEASE..

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

BUT YOU GOT TO PROMISE ME ONE THING:

YOU'LL TAKE THINGS EASY, USE A LITTLE COMMON SENSE,

AND DON'T CHURN THINGS UP.

AND IF ANYTHING BIG HAPPENS-- NO, ANYTHING HAPPENS--

IF ANYTHING HAPPENS, HAVE SARAH CALL ME.

RIGHT, CHIEF.

WELL?

WELL, YOU GOT TO SWEAR ME IN.

YOU'RE A DEPUTY ALREADY.

WELL, THAT'S NOT OFFICIAL.

WE DIDN'T HOLD UP OUR HANDS OR SWORE OR NOTHIN'.

YOU'RE A DEPUTY.

I ACCEPT THIS OFFICE KNOWING FULL WELL

ALL THE RESPONSIBILITY THAT GOES WITH IT.

YOU GOT A BADGE HERE?

IN THE DESK IN THE OFFICE.

THAT ONE'S BENT. WELL, STRAIGHTEN IT!

OKAY.

ANDY?

CAN I USE THE SQUAD CAR? YES.

I FIGURED YOU'D SAY THAT, SO I DROVE OVER HERE IN IT.

THANKS, AUNT BEE.

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU KNEW I WAS UP HERE.

MMM.

THAT JUST HIT THE SPOT, AUNT BEE.

I'LL SEE YOU, ANDY. BE SURE AND GET PLENTY OF REST.

WELL, NEVER MIND, ANDY.

I'LL GET YOU ANOTHER ONE.

WHAT DID GOOBER WANT?

HE WANTS TO WORK IN THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE

WHILE I'M IN THE BED.

WELL, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

WITH GOOBER IN CHARGE OF THINGS,

YOU'LL GET ALL THE REST...

THAT YOU NEED.

WELL...

THANK GOODNESS THINGS ARE QUIET.

WELL, I THINK MOST PEOPLE KNOW

THAT THIS TOWN IS STILL BEING PROPERLY POLICED.

MM.

SO OFTEN THE VERY PRESENCE OF THE LAW

IS A DETERRENT IN ITSELF.

YEAH, I'LL GO ALONG WITH THAT.

SNAGGED ANOTHER ONE, HUH, GOOBER?

RIGHT.

OH, HI, ELMO.

HI, EMMETT.

WHAT DID HE GET YOU FOR, ELMO?

OH, ASK THE COMMISSIONER.

MADE A RIGHT TURN.

WENT RIGHT OVER TO THE LEFT-HAND SIDE OF THE ROAD.

NOT EVEN A HAND SIGNAL.

ALL RIGHT, ELMO, MOVE IT.

RIGHT THERE, ELMO.

GUILTY OR NOT GUILTY?

JUST GIVE HIM A TICKET.

I WILL WHEN I'M GOOD AND READY.

I'M NOT PAYING ANY TICKET TILL ANDY GETS BACK.

I AM IN CHARGE HERE NOW.

IT SEEMS LIKE ELMO'S GOT A POINT, GOOBER.

WAIT UNTIL ANDY GETS BACK AND LET HIM DECIDE THINGS.

IT JUST SO HAPPENS THAT I HAVE FULL AUTHORITY,

AND IF YOU AIN'T GONNA SAY WHETHER YOU'RE GUILTY OR NOT

I'M JUST GOING AHEAD AND WRITE YOU A TICKET.

I DON'T CARE. I'M STILL GONNA WAIT FOR ANDY.

WRITE IT UP.

YOU START SHOWING THESE FELLAS ANY MERCY,

THEY'RE GONNA WALK ALL OVER YOU.

OH, NOW, LOOK, I STILL MAINTAIN...

HELLO, BOYS.

HEY, AUNT BEE.

HI, AUNT BEE.

I'VE COME TO PICK UP ANDY'S MAIL AND A BOOK.

I'M WRITING OUT A TICKET FOR A CRIMINAL.

IT'S MY FIFTH ONE TODAY.

MM.

OH, HELLO, ELMO.

HELLO, BEE.

HOW IS MARGARET?

OH, FINE. JUST FINE.

GIVE HER MY BEST.

I SURE WILL.

GIVE HER MY BEST, TOO.

UH, AUNT BEE?

IS ANDY DOING MUCH READING?

WELL, SOME.

HAS HE GOT ENOUGH LIGHT?

WELL, HE HAS A LAMP ON HIS BEDSIDE TABLE.

I GOT ONE OF THOSE BRACKET LIGHTS OVER IN THE SHOP.

HANGS RIGHT OVER HIS BED. GIVE HIM GREAT LIGHT.

I'LL JUST POP OVER AND HANG IT FOR HIM.

WELL, I KNOW HE'D APPRECIATE IT.

OH, HERE WE ARE.

WELL, I HAVE TO RUN ALONG.

I'VE GOT TO DO ALL THE MARKETING.

I'VE GOT A MILLION THINGS TO DO.

TOODLE-OO!

TOODLE-OO!

THERE YOU ARE.

NOW, WHEN YOU READ THAT,

YOU'LL SEE YOU GOT TO APPEAR AND PAY YOUR FINE.

WHAT'S A GOOD DAY FOR YOU?

NOW, LOOK, I'M STILL GONNA SPEAK TO ANDY ABOUT THIS

WHEN HE GETS BETTER.

NOW, YOU GONNA DRIVE ME BACK TO MY CAR OR AIN'T YOU?

I DON'T THINK AN OFFICER OF THE LAW

OUGHT TO SOCIALIZE WITH A CRIMINAL.

ALL RIGHT, ELMO.

COME ON.

I'LL BE ON PATROL.

I STILL MAINTAIN

THAT GOOBER'S FAR OVERSTEPPING HIS AUTHORITY.

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

WITH AUTOMOBILE SAFETY WEEK GOING,

HE'S GOT A JOB TO DO.

I'M GOING TO CHECK THE SHERIFF'S MANUAL

AND SEE WHERE HIS AUTHORITY STARTS AND STOPS.

I'M SURE ANDY WOULDN'T BE VERY PLEASED

WITH THE WAY THINGS ARE BEING HANDLED.

HELLO, OPIE.

HI, EMMETT.

HOW'S YOUR PA?

GRUMPY.

WELL, THAT'S UNDERSTANDABLE.

NOT WHEN I'M SICK.

I ALWAYS GOT TO BE CHEERFUL.

WELL, I JUST DROPPED BY FOR A SECOND

TO RIG UP THIS READING LAMP FOR HIM.

DOES HE KNOW ABOUT IT?

WELL, I TOLD YOUR AUNT BEE.

OH. OKAY.

HI, ANDY!

DIDN'T WAKE YOU UP, DID I?

HELLO, EMMETT.

I THOUGHT I'D HOOK UP THIS LAMP FOR YOU.

IMPORTANT TO HAVE GOOD LIGHT WHEN YOU'RE READING.

OH...

WELL, I'M...I'M NOT..

I'M NOT READING RIGHT NOW, EMMETT

AND I GOT A LAMP.

THIS?

YOU'RE GETTING INDIRECT LIGHT RAYS FROM THIS.

BAD FOR THE EYES.

NOW, THIS THING SETS RIGHT HERE OVER YOUR HEAD.

IT'S GOOBER.

YEAH.

I GOT TO FIND THE STUDS HERE

TO GET SOME NAILING STRENGTH.

IT MUST BE A STUD IN HERE SOMEWHERE.

AM I IN YOUR WAY, EMMETT?

THAT'S ALL RIGHT, ANDY.

GOT TO BE A STUD HERE SOMEWHERE.

HEY, ANDY.

OPIE SAID YOU MIGHT BE AWAKE.

THE KID'S RIGHT.

COME IN, HOWARD.

BUT REMEMBER, WE GOT A SICK MAN HERE.

RIGHT.

ANDY, I'VE HAD A FEELING

THAT GOOBER IS FAR OVERSTEPPING HIS AUTHORITY.

AND I'VE BEEN DOING SOME CHECKING HERE

ON THE RULES GOVERNING THE CHAIN OF COMMAND

IN THE SHERIFF'S DEPARTMENT.

HE'S GOT A RIGHT TO MAKE AN ARREST.

NO, IT GOES A LOT FURTHER THAN THAT.

I'D LIKE TO READ A FEW PERTINENT PASSAGES IF I MAY.

PLEASE DO, HOWARD.

NOW...

"WHEN THE SHERIFF IN QUESTION

"IS INCAPACITATED

"OR INCAPABLE OF PERFORMING THE FUNCTIONS

"WHICH ARE REQUIRED OF HIM

"WITHIN THE BOUNDARIES OF THE COMMUNITY

"OVER WHICH HE HAS JURISDICTION

"FOR REASONS OF HEALTH NECESSARY...

"FOR REASONS OF HEALTH,

NECESSARY ABSENCE OR ANY OTH..."

HOWARD, EMMETT, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE.

I WAS JUST HANGING A LAMP, AUNT BEE.

I'M ONLY GOING TO STAY A MOMENT, AUNT BEE.

ANDY, YOU NEVER EVEN TOUCHED THAT CHICKEN SANDWICH.

I DON'T WANT IT.

BUT YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP UP YOUR STRENGTH.

YOU KNOW WHAT THE DOCTOR SAID.

GOOBER MUST BE DOING A GOOD BUSINESS.

NOW, THAT'S THE VERY POINT

I WAS ABOUT TO BRING UP.

THE WAY GOOBER'S OPERATING, YOU CAN'T...

THE SQUAD CAR?

YES, THE SQUAD CAR.

AND THERE'S GOOBER TALKING TO THE OTHER FELLA.

THEY BOTH SEEM TO BE ALL RIGHT.

WELL, WHAT ABOUT THE SQUAD CAR?

WELL, WE'LL BE ABLE TO TELL MORE ABOUT IT

WHEN THEY GET IT BACK ON THE WHEELS.

I'M OKAY. YOU JUST WAIT AND SEE. I'M GONNA KILL HIM.

ANDY, YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO GET OVERWROUGHT.

AUNT BEE... AUNT BEE, PLEASE.

ANDY, EAT THIS CHICKEN SANDWICH.

NOT NOW, AUNT BEE.

DON'T YOU GET OUT OF THAT BED!

YOU'RE GOING TO CATCH YOUR DEATH OF COLD.

I ALREADY GOT A COLD!

YOU DON'T HAVE TO RAISE YOUR VOICE.

I'M... I'M SORRY. I'M REALLY SORRY.

I'LL STAY IN THE BED.

HEY, EMMETT... NO. NOT NOW. NOT NOW.

EMMETT... NO. HOWARD...

HOW BAD IS THE SQUAD CAR DAMAGED?

WELL, IT'S KIND OF HARD TO TELL FROM THIS ANGLE.

BUT THIS BRINGS US BACK

TO THE ISSUE OF GOOBER'S AUTHORITY,

WHICH I WAS TRYING TO POINT OUT BEFORE.

I THINK I CAN GET THAT BETTER FROM THIS SIDE.

EMMETT!

NOW, ANDY, AS I WAS READING BEFORE...

ANDY, IT'S NOT MY FAULT.

HE'S JUST ONE OF THEM BIRDS

THAT DON'T LOOK WHERE HE'S DRIVING.

SHERIFF, HE WAS GOING 60 MILES AN HOUR.

IT WASN'T MY FAULT.

WILL YOU BOTH GET OUT OF HERE!

ALL OF YOU!

ANDY, I WANT YOU TO EAT THIS SANDWICH.

NOW, THIS IS THE VERY POINT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO MAKE.

ACCORDING TO THE MANUAL ON THE CHAIN OF COMMAND,

GOOBER IS OVERZEALOUS.

THE DOCTOR SPECIFICALLY SAID CHICKEN SOUP

AND A CHICKEN SANDWICH.

I WASN'T GOING MORE THAN 20 MILES AN HOUR.

I WENT ALL THE WAY OVER TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROAD.

ANDY, I HAD TO SWERVE TO KEEP FROM HITTING A PERSON HEAD-ON.

HE'S THE KIND OF PERSON THAT CAUSES ACCIDENTS.

IT IS NOT MY FAULT.

GOOBER, STOP SHOUTING.

I CAN'T HEAR WHEN I REACH THE STUD.

JUST BECAUSE YOU'VE NEVER BEEN SICK

DOESN'T MEAN THIS THING CAN'T DEVELOP INTO SOMETHING SERIOUS.

NOW, IT STATES CLEARLY...

HE WAS DRIVING LIKE A CRAZY MAN,

BLOWING THAT SIREN LIKE THERE WAS A FIRE OR SOMETHING.

ANDY, I'M A DULY SWORN-IN DEPUTY.

THIS MAN'S A CRIMINAL.

AND I'M GONNA ARREST HIM

BECAUSE HE DON'T KNOW HOW TO DRIVE.

YOU ARE A CRIMINAL!

JUST ONE CHICKEN SANDWICH.

MORNING, ANDY.

GLAD TO SEE YOU'RE BACK.

YEAH, I'M BACK, GOOBER

AND YOU'RE GONNA BE MY FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS.

SIT DOWN.

BEFORE YOU START GETTING MAD,

I'VE WORKED ON THE CAR ALL NIGHT LONG.

AND IT'S ALL FIXED UP AGAIN.

IT REALLY WASN'T DAMAGED THAT BAD.

HOW BAD THE CAR WAS DAMAGED IS NOT THE IMPORTANT THING.

THE IMPORTANT THING IS WHEN I GAVE YOU THIS JOB,

YOU PROMISED YOU'D TAKE IT EASY AND USE A LITTLE COMMON SENSE.

DIDN'T YOU? NOW, DIDN'T YOU?

WELL, ANDY, I TRIED TO.

WHILE I WAS IN BED, YOU HANDED OUT 14 TICKETS.

NOW, THIS ISN'T CHICAGO OR NEW YORK

AND THERE CAN'T BE THAT MANY AUTOMOBILE VIOLATIONS

AROUND HERE IN ONE DAY!

IF YOU'LL CHECK THERE

YOU'LL SEE I GOT A COUPLE OF THEM TWICE.

HI, ANDY.

HEARD YOU WERE UP AND ABOUT.

AND I MUST SAY IT'S GOING TO BE WELCOME NEWS

TO THE ENTIRE TOWN.

REAL WELCOME NEWS.

WELL, THAT'S A FINE THING

WHEN ONE OF YOUR OWN COMMITTEE MEMBERS

TURNS AGAINST YOU.

GOOBER, YOU KNOW...

NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.

WE ARE NOT HERE TO ARGUE ABOUT HOW ALL THIS HAPPENED.

NOW, GOOBER, I KNOW YOUR INTENTIONS WERE OF THE BEST.

BUT 14 TICKETS

AND THEN ON TOP OF THAT AN ACCIDENT...

I'M SORRY, ANDY.

I GUESS I WAS JUST A LITTLE OVER... OVER...

ZEALOUS.

I'LL PICK MY OWN WORDS, IF YOU DON'T MIND.

ANYWAY, I GOT EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL NOW.

WHAT?

I FIGURED EVEN THOUGH

YOU WAS COMING BACK TO YOUR OFFICE,

YOU'D STILL BE TOO WEAK TO GET AROUND

AND THERE OUGHT TO BE SOMEBODY OUT THERE

LOOKING AFTER THINGS...

YES?

SINCE I WASN'T DOING SUCH A GOOD JOB,

I TURNED THE DEPUTYSHIP OVER TO EMMETT.

EMMETT?!

WELL, YOU SEE, I DIDN'T...

ANDY, I MUST SAY, YOU LOOK MUCH BETTER.

MM. FEELING ALMOST NORMAL AGAIN.

I'M SURE GLAD OF THAT.

WHY?

NOTHING.

GETTING YOUR COLOR BACK,

AND, I'M GLAD TO SAY, YOUR APPETITE.

YES.

BUT YOU KNOW SOMETHING?

NOBODY CAN TELL ME THAT COLDS AREN'T CATCHING.

WHY?

YOU KNOW WHAT I HEARD TODAY?

HOWARD AND EMMETT AND GOOBER ARE ALL COMING DOWN WITH COLDS.

OH, REALLY?

HM.

THAT'S THE BEST NEWS I'VE HEARD TODAY.