Original subtitles

WE WERE NOW DEEP INTO THE MATO GROSSO JUNGLE...

AN ALMOST IMPENETRABLE MAZE OF VINES AND TREES

BEHIND WHICH LURKED... WE KNEW NOT WHAT.

SAVAGES, WILD BEASTS

JUST WAITING TO HURL THEIR VENGEANCE UPON US.

I AIN'T NEVER GOIN' THERE.

THERE'S OBVIOUSLY AN ELEMENT OF DANGER.

WE HAD...SENT RUNNERS AHEAD TO TRY TO DETERMINE

IF THERE WERE ANY UNFRIENDLY NATIVES IN THE AREA,

BUT DUE TO THE ALMOST TOTAL LACK OF COMMUNICATIONS

WE WERE FORCED TO PROCEED ANYWAY.

WHEN SUDDENLY-- AS IF FROM NOWHERE--

THIS SPEAR CAME HURTLING OUT OF THE UNDERBRUSH

MISSING MY HEAD BY JUST

A MATTER OF A VERY FEW INCHES.

THIS VERY SPEAR!

MUST HAVE BEEN ONE OF THOSE SAVAGES.

THAT'D BE MY GUESS.

FORTUNATELY, MOST OF THE NATIVES

WE MET IN THE INTERIOR OF BRAZIL WERE FRIENDLIER.

STILL, WHENEVER I WAS INVITED TO DINNER

I NEVER KNEW WHETHER I WAS THE GUEST OR THE ENTRéE.

THAT WAS A GOOD ONE.

WELL, I SEE I'VE BEEN RAMBLING ON HERE

FOR A COUPLE OF HOURS.

YOU'VE BEEN A MOST ATTENTIVE AUDIENCE.

NOW, IF YOU'D LIKE--

I'M FINISHED WITH THE SPEAR, MISS EDWARDS.

CERTAINLY, PROFESSOR.

I WAS ABOUT TO SAY-- NOW, IF YOU'D LIKE

WE COULD HAVE A QUESTION AND ANSWER PERIOD.

IF THERE ARE ANY QUESTIONS AT ALL

YOU HAVE ABOUT SOUTH AMERICA

I WOULD BE HAPPY TO ANSWER THEM

TO THE VERY BEST OF MY ABILITY.

THERE ARE MANY INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT SOUTH AMERICA

THAT I'VE BEEN ABLE TO, UH...TO...I-I...

THE...THE... THE LIMIT, UH...

OH, ALLOW ME.

OH, THANK YOU, PROFESSOR.

ALLOW ME.

THERE WE ARE.

THANK YOU.

NOW, THEN... ARE THERE ANY QUESTIONS?

OH, YES?

I WAS, UH, VERY INTERESTED IN YOUR EARLY REFERENCE

TO THE FLORA AND FAUNA OF SOUTH AMERICA.

DID I UNDERSTAND YOU TO SAY

THAT ORCHIDS GROW WILD DOWN THERE?

IN PROFUSION.

PINK, BLUE, YELLOW, PURPLE-- ALL COLORS, JUST BEAUTIFUL.

OH, MY, THAT MUST BE GLORIOUS.

AND I'LL BET THAT'S ONE PLACE

THEY DON'T COST $5 APIECE, EITHER.

ARE THERE ANY OTHER QUESTIONS?

OH, YES, MISS EDWARDS?

PROFESSOR, OF ALL THE WILDLIFE YOU'VE EVER ENCOUNTERED

WHICH WOULD YOU SAY WAS THE MOST DANGEROUS?

WELL, MISS EDWARDS, I WOULD SAY THAT WAS A TOSS-UP

BETWEEN A WOUNDED LEOPARD AND A LOVELY GIRL.

OH...

IT LOOKS LIKE CLARA'S GOT QUITE A CASE OF THE PROFESSOR.

WELL, HE'S GOT EVERYTHING SHE LIKES IN A MAN -- HE'S SINGLE.

AND NOW, IF THERE ARE NO FURTHER QUESTIONS

I WILL SIMPLY SAY-- KONGO MOLO, BOLO,

WHICH MEANS "GOOD NIGHT AND THANK YOU."

NOW, FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO WOULD CARE TO PURCHASE

A COPY OF MY BOOK, I KNOW SOUTH AMERICA,

IF YOU'LL JUST STEP RIGHT OVER HERE

I'LL BE VERY HAPPY TO AUTOGRAPH IT FOR YOU.

YOU KNOW, ANDY, I WAS WONDERING...

I UNDERSTAND THE PROFESSOR'S

GOING TO STAY OVER TILL TOMORROW.

DON'T YOU THINK, AS SHERIFF

YOU OUGHT TO INVITE HIM FOR DINNER?

OKAY, I'LL GO ASK HIM.

EXCUSE ME.

OH, THAT SHOULD BE VERY EDUCATIONAL FOR OPIE--

TO MEET A MAN LIKE THAT.

YES.

FASCINATING EVENING, WASN'T IT?

IT CERTAINLY BROUGHT SOUTH AMERICA TO MAYBERRY.

I JUST WANT TO WAIT

TILL THEY ALL GET THEIR BOOKS.

I THINK IT'S MY DUTY

TO INVITE HIM TO STAY FOR DINNER TOMORROW NIGHT.

OH, CLARA...

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

WELL, ANDY'S OVER THERE NOW

INVITING HIM TO OUR HOUSE FOR DINNER.

WHY, THAT'S A VIOLATION OF PROTOCOL.

ANDY HAPPENS TO BE SHERIFF.

WELL, I'M CHAIRMAN OF THE HOSPITALITY COMMITTEE.

I THINK THAT TAKES CARE OF THE MATTER COMPLETELY.

UH, WELL...I'M SORRY, CLARA.

WELL, IF YOU COME OVER TO OUR HOUSE FOR DINNER

WON'T THAT SOLVE EVERYTHING?

OH...WELL...

ALL RIGHT.

SEVENISH?

FINE.

THAT WAS FAST THINKING.

I NEVER WOULD HAVE HEARD THE END OF IT.

COME ON, LET'S STAND OUTSIDE.

THERE WE ARE.

THANK YOU, SHERIFF.

I WOULD BE VERY HAPPY TO COME TO DINNER.

OH, GOOD, GOOD.

OH...WHO IS THAT LADY IN THE BLUE DRESS?

THAT'S MY AUNT.

NOW, OPIE, ONLY ONE HELPING OF CHICKEN TONIGHT.

I COOKED IT IN WINE.

AND DON'T EITHER OF YOU SLAM ANY DOORS.

I DON'T WANT MY SOUFFLé TO FALL.

IT FELL LAST TIME, AND WE DIDN'T SLAM ANYTHING.

YOU WANT TO TAKE YOUR SWEATER UPSTAIRS?

OH, I DO HOPE THE EVENING PROVES A SUCCESS FOR CLARA.

SHE CERTAINLY IS POINTING FOR THE PROFESSOR.

BETTY SAID SHE SPENT THREE HOURS IN THE BEAUTY PARLOR TODAY.

WELL, I HOPE THEY HIT IT OFF.

I BETTER GET UPSTAIRS AND TIDY UP.

ANSWER THAT, ANDY, WILL YOU?

OH.

ANDY.

WELL, CLARA.

CLARA, HOW NICE YOU LOOK.

OH, WHY, THANK YOU, HELEN.

I JUST REACHED INTO MY CLOSET AND GRABBED THE FIRST THING.

HELLO, OPIE.

HI, MISS EDWARDS.

GEE, THAT'S THE DRESS I SAW

IN MADAM OLGA'S WINDOW THIS MORNING.

UH, SHALL WE SIT DOWN?

WONDERFUL IDEA.

WHOOP, THAT'S BOUND TO BE THE GUEST OF HONOR.

NOW, STAND UP STRAIGHT.

OH, PROFESSOR. COME IN. SHERIFF.

DID YOU HAVE ANY TROUBLE FINDING THE PLACE?

NO, NO. I JUST TOOK A FIX ON THE NORTH STAR, AND HERE I AM.

OH!

OH, MISS EDWARDS, WHAT A PLEASANT SURPRISE.

I THOUGHT WE WERE JUST SHIPS THAT PASSED IN THE NIGHT.

BUT APPARENTLY ON THE SAME COURSE.

UH, THIS IS MISS CRUMP.

AH, TO FURTHER DECORATE THE FESTIVE BOWL.

WELL, HOW DO YOU DO?

AND MY SON, OPIE. PROFESSOR ST. JOHN.

HI. HELLO, OPIE.

WHAT GRADE ARE YOU IN?

EIGHTH.

WE ALREADY FINISHED SOUTH AMERICA.

WE HAVE A LOT IN COMMON. I'M FINISHED WITH IT, TOO.

AND HOW DID YOU SPEND YOUR DAY IN MAYBERRY, PROFESSOR?

WELL, EXPLORING, AS USUAL, MISS EDWARDS.

I CAME ACROSS A MARVELOUSLY QUAINT LITTLE SPOT --

MYERS' LAKE.

OH, YES, IT'S A VERY POPULAR RENDEZVOUS

WITH THE, UH, PICNICKERS.

OH, WELL, I'LL HAVE TO KEEP THAT IN MIND...

MISS EDWARDS.

OH...

AH, THE LADY OF THE HOUSE.

PROFESSOR, I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET MY AUNT BEE.

MISS TAYLOR, PROFESSOR ST. JOHN.

I'M MOST HAPPY TO MEET YOU, MISS TAYLOR.

SO NICE OF YOU TO COME.

WELL...

OH, CLARA, WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DRESS.

IT'S BRAND-NEW.

SHE JUST GOT IT TODAY.

I'M REALLY...MOST HAPPY TO MEET YOU, MISS TAYLOR.

THANK YOU. UM...

WELL, DINNER'LL BE READY IN JUST A MINUTE.

WHY DON'T WE HAVE SOME ELDERBERRY WINE.

IT'S ANDY'S OWN RECIPE.

EXCUSE ME.

UH, PROFESSOR...

MY PHONE SIMPLY HASN'T STOPPED RINGING ALL DAY.

NOTHING BUT COMPLIMENTS FOR MY HAVING BROUGHT YOU HERE.

OH, WELL, THAT'S VERY NICE TO HEAR.

BEE-- THAT'S THE DIMINUTIVE FOR BEATRICE, ISN'T IT?

OH, WELL, I HAVEN'T BEEN CALLED BEATRICE

SINCE I WAS A LITTLE GIRL.

PITY. IT'S SUCH A CLASSIC NAME.

IN LATIN, IT MEANS "SHE WHO MAKES HAPPY."

OH? HOW NICE.

THERE WE ARE.

WELL, I GUESS I'D BETTER SEE ABOUT DINNER.

I'LL-I'LL GIVE HER A HAND.

IS THERE ANYTHING WRONG WITH THE WAY I LOOK?

YOU LOOK JUST FINE TO ME.

WELL, WHY DOES HE KEEP STARING AT ME LIKE THAT?

WELL, I THINK YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF AN ADMIRER.

NONSENSE. NO.

IT'S THE WAY HE STARES AT ME THAT HAS ME PUZZLED.

LIKE HE'S STARING RIGHT THROUGH ME.

WELL, AUNT BEE, I'M JUST AN INNOCENT BYSTANDER

BUT I THINK HE'S JUST VERY INTERESTED IN YOU.

NO, NO...THERE'S MORE TO IT THAN THAT.

I CAN JUST FEEL IT.

I'M AMAZED AT HOW LONG YOU STAY AWAY

ON THESE JUNGLE TRIPS OF YOURS, PROFESSOR.

IT MUST GET VERY LONELY FOR YOU.

WELL, REALLY...

I SUPPOSE IT WOULD BE DIFFERENT

IF THERE WAS SOMEBODY AT HOME WAITING FOR YOU.

WELL, ACTUALLY, I...

UH, SOME MORE CHICKEN, PROFESSOR?

HUBERT.

HUBERT.

NO, NO, THANK YOU.

I WANT TO SAVE A LITTLE ROOM FOR YOUR...NESSELRODE PIE.

OH.

OPIE...

POOR OPIE HASN'T BEEN ABLE TO GET A WORD IN.

OPIE, DON'T YOU HAVE SOMETHING YOU WANT TO ASK OUR GUEST?

UH...UH...

YEAH. UH, YEAH.

PROFESSOR ST. JOHN, IS IT TRUE THAT BOGOTA

IS STILL THE CAPITAL OF COLUMBIA?

YES, YES, OPIE.

AND QUITO IS STILL THE CAPITAL OF ECUADOR.

OH, WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW.

WE LEARN SOMETHING EVERY DAY, DON'T WE?

HOW LONG DO YOU EXPECT TO GRACE OUR FAIR CITY, PROFESSOR?

WELL, I HAD PLANNED TO LEAVE TOMORROW

BUT I MAY CHANGE MY PLANS.

THERE ARE CERTAIN THINGS IN MAYBERRY

THAT I FIND MORE INTERESTING

THAN ANYTHING ELSE I'VE SEEN ANYWHERE ELSE IN THE WORLD.

OH, DEAR...

OH, CLARA, IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG?

I'VE JUST DEVELOPED THE MOST DREADFUL HEADACHE.

I'M SO SORRY, HUBERT, BUT I'LL SIMPLY HAVE TO GO HOME.

HUBERT, YOU DON'T MIND?

OH, NOT AT ALL.

YOU RUN ALONG, MY DEAR.

WELL, I WAS PLANNING TO DROP YOU OFF AT THE HOTEL.

OH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

I'LL ENJOY THE WALK.

OH...VERY WELL.

OH, CLARA...

CLARA...I'M SORRY YOU DON'T FEEL WELL.

DON'T BE SO NAIVE.

I NEVER MET SUCH A BORE IN MY LIFE.

I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU CAN STAND HIM.

AND THAT BRINGS US UP TO 1959

WHEN I MOVED IN WITH ANDY AND OPIE.

FASCINATING.

YOU'RE STARING AT ME AGAIN.

NO, NO, I'M NOT STARING.

I'M JUST WAITING FOR ANOTHER PLATE.

OH...OH, THIS IS AWFUL--

A DISTINGUISHED GUEST WASHING DISHES

BUT YOU INSISTED, HUBERT.

CORRECT. BUT TOMORROW

THINGS ARE GOING TO BE DIFFERENT.

TOMORROW WE'RE GOING TO EAT FROM PAPER PLATES.

WE'RE GOING ON A LITTLE PICNIC.

YOU AND I?

IS IT A DATE?

OH...

YES, ALL RIGHT.

GOOD.

WELL...

WELL, I DON'T WANT TO WEAR OUT MY WELCOME.

GUESS I'D BETTER BE RUNNING ALONG, HUH?

VERY WELL.

HELLO, SON.

DID I WAKE YOU?

OH, IT DOESN'T MATTER.

UH, LISTEN, I HAVE TO STAY OVER FOR A LITTLE WHILE IN MAYBERRY.

YES, I HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT PICNIC TOMORROW.

LISTEN, JONATHAN...

SOMETHING VERY STRANGE HAS HAPPENED.

WELL, I MET THE MOST MARVELOUS WOMAN.

HER NAME IS BEATRICE TAYLOR, AND REALLY, IF I...

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S SO MARVELOUS ABOUT HER--

SHE IS THE CARBON COPY OF YOUR SAINTED MOTHER.

WELL...

ANDY.

HOW WAS THE PICNIC?

I CAN'T REMEMBER

WHEN I'VE HAD A MORE GLORIOUS AFTERNOON.

OH, THAT'S MYERS' LAKE FOR YOU.

WELL, SEE YOU AT 7:00, ANDY.

ARE...ARE YOU COMING TO DINNER?

NO, NO. TAKING HER TO DINNER.

OH.

SEE YOU.

WELL...

I HEAR YOU HAD YOURSELF QUITE AN AFTERNOON.

HMM, QUITE AN AFTERNOON.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

YOU LOOK LIKE YOU JUST SAW A GHOST.

I DIDN'T SEE A GHOST.

I AM A GHOST.

WELL, WHAT HAPPENED?

WELL...

I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

OH.

I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN TO PRY.

WELL, AREN'T YOU GOING TO EVEN ASK ME

WHAT I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT?

OKAY, WHAT DON'T YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT?

WELL...NO, I JUST CAN'T TALK ABOUT IT.

I'LL TELL YOU.

UH, ANDY...

I DISCOVERED WHAT MY FATAL CHARM IS.

I REMIND HIM OF HIS LATE WIFE, ETHEL.

OH, SO THAT'S IT.

I LOOK LIKE ETHEL.

I TALK LIKE ETHEL.

I CRINKLE MY NOSE WHEN I LAUGH LIKE ETHEL.

I EVEN BAKE NESSELRODE PIE LIKE ETHEL.

WELL, THAT IS A COINCIDENCE.

I'M NOT SO SURE I LIKE IT.

WELL, EVERYBODY REMINDS SOMEBODY OF SOMEBODY.

I KNOW, BUT IT'S VERY ANNOYING.

WELL, LOOK AT IT THIS WAY.

THE FINE QUALITIES HE SAW IN HIS LATE WIFE

HE NOW FINDS IN YOU.

I KNOW, BUT I LIKE TO BE LIKED AS BEE TAYLOR

NOT AS ETHEL MONTGOMERY ST. JOHN.

AUNT BEE, I GUARANTEE YOU THAT BEFORE HE KNOWS IT

THAT UNIQUE PERSONALITY THAT IS BEE TAYLOR

WILL COME SHINING THROUGH.

YOU THINK SO?

I'M SURE OF IT.

NOW WHY DON'T YOU RUN UPSTAIRS

AND REST UP FOR YOUR BIG DATE TONIGHT.

HOW WAS THE PICNIC, AUNT BEE?

FINE.

ARE YOU GOING TO MARRY HIM?

OH, OPIE, WHAT A THING TO ASK.

WAS THAT SUCH A STUPID QUESTION?

WELL, LET'S SAY IT WAS JUST A LITTLE PREMATURE

IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

YEAH, WELL, I'LL ASK AGAIN TOMORROW.

WHY DO THEY ALWAYS HAVE SLIPPERY FORKS

IN ITALIAN RESTAURANTS?

ETHEL HAD EXACTLY THE SAME PROBLEM.

I THINK IF WE LIVED IN ITALY

SHE WOULD HAVE STARVED TO DEATH.

HERE, BEATRICE, LET ME SHOW YOU.

MAY I?

SEE, IT IS ALL IN THE WRIST MOVEMENT

LIKE THAT, BEATRICE.

LET ME TRY.

NO, I THINK I'VE HAD ENOUGH.

OH, WELL, AT LEAST HAVE ANOTHER GLASS OF CHIANTI, EH?

NO, NO, NO. ONE IS ENOUGH.

THE SECOND GLASS ALWAYS...

MAKES YOU FEEL GIDDY?

YES. HOW DID YOU KNOW?

ETHEL WAS EXACTLY THE SAME WAY.

YOU KNOW, I COULD REMEMBER ONCE...

HUBERT, WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THE SITUATION IN ASIA?

THE SITUATION...

I'D MUCH RATHER TALK ABOUT YOU.

WELL, I'M VERY FLATTERED

BUT I'M, YOU KNOW, RUNNING OUT OF MATERIAL.

WHEN YOU GET UP IN THE MORNING, ARE YOU GRUMPY

OR DO YOU JUMP OUT OF BED AND START SINGING LIKE A BIRD?

IS THAT INTERESTING TO YOU?

EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU IS INTERESTING TO ME.

OH.

WELL, I, I DON'T SING LIKE A BIRD

BUT I AM DISGUSTINGLY CHEERFUL IN THE MORNING.

YOU KNOW, I WOULD HAVE MADE A BET ON THAT.

ETHEL?

EXACTLY.

OH, HOO.

CLARA.

WELL, HELLO, MISS GADABOUT.

I'M SURPRISED THAT YOU CAN BREAK AWAY

AT THE HEIGHT OF THE PICNIC SEASON.

OH, THIS TOWN HAS BIG EARS.

WELL, BEULAH ALBRIGHT'S SON, HAROLD,

JUST HAPPENED TO BE FISHING AT MYERS' LAKE.

AND DOES BEULAH KNOW

WHERE WE HAD DINNER LAST NIGHT?

WELL, IT'S NO CONCERN OF MINE

BUT FRANKLY, I'VE ALWAYS THOUGHT

ITALIAN COOKING DIDN'T AGREE WITH YOU.

NEITHER DOES IDLE GOSSIP.

WELL, I DO WANT YOU TO KNOW, BEE, HOW HAPPY I AM FOR YOU.

WELL, THERE'S NO NEED TO BE.

OH?

WELL...

CLARA, ARE YOU MY BEST FRIEND OR AREN'T YOU?

WHY, OF COURSE I AM, BEE, AND ANYTHING YOU TELL ME

I'LL TRY TO KEEP FROM GOING ANY FURTHER.

WELL, TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST, CLARA,

THERE'S A BIG STUMBLING BLOCK IN MY RELATIONSHIP WITH HUBERT.

WHAT WHAT?

HIS WIFE.

YOU MEAN HE'S STILL MARRIED?

OH, NO. HE LOST HER TEN YEARS AGO.

AND SHE SHOWED UP AGAIN.

NO. NOT THE WAY YOU THINK.

I'M THE IMAGE OF HIS LATE WIFE.

OH, YOU POOR THING.

YOU POOR, POOR THING.

EVERYTHING ABOUT ME REMINDS HIM OF HIS "DARLING ETHEL."

I'M A HOMEBODY LIKE ETHEL.

I'M QUIET LIKE ETHEL.

I'M EVERYTHING LIKE ETHEL.

DOWN TO HER NESSELRODE PIE.

OH, YOU POOR THING.

YOU POOR, POOR THING.

WELL, ANDY SAYS IT'LL PASS.

WHAT DO MEN KNOW?

DO YOU WANT TO LIVE IN THE SHADOW OF ANOTHER WOMAN?

NO. NO.

THEN BREAK IT OFF BEFORE YOU TORMENT YOURSELF TO DISTRACTION.

I'M YOUR BEST FRIEND, BEE, AND I SAY BREAK IT OFF.

BREAK IT OFF.

WELL, THE WAY I SEE IT,

THERE'S NOTHING TO BREAK OFF.

HE'S LEAVING TOMORROW AFTERNOON

AND HE HASN'T PROPOSED.

THE DAY ISN'T OVER YET

AND I HAVE A FEELING IT'S COMING.

WELL, I'LL JUST HAVE TO TELL HIM

I CAN'T SEE HIM ANYMORE.

HMM, I DON'T THINK THAT WOULD MEAN MUCH

TO THE PROFESSOR.

IT'D JUST MAKE YOU THAT MUCH MORE DESIRABLE.

YES. FORBIDDEN FRUIT.

I WAS JUST THINKING...

MAYBE THERE'S A WAY

WE COULD GET HIM TO TURN YOU DOWN.

BUT TO HIM I'M IRRESISTIBLE.

YEAH, BUT YOU GOT A PRETTY GOOD IDEA

OF THE KIND OF WOMAN ETHEL WAS.

HAVE I.

WELL, SUPPOSE YOU SUDDENLY BECAME

THE KIND OF WOMAN ETHEL WASN'T.

OH, ANDY.

WHAT A WICKED IDEA.

SORRY.

WILL YOU HELP ME?

OH, COME IN, PROFESSOR. COME IN.

MY AUNT WILL BE DOWN IN A FEW MINUTES.

SIT DOWN OVER HERE.

THANK YOU.

THERE WE ARE.

YOU KNOW, I PLAN A RATHER SERIOUS CHAT WITH YOUR AUNT.

IS THAT RIGHT?

YES. I'M VERY FOND OF HER, YOU KNOW?

SHE'S A FINE WOMAN.

AND I MUST ADMIT

THAT NOT THE LEAST IMPORTANT REASON IS

THAT SHE SO CLOSELY RESEMBLES

MY LATE WIFE, ETHEL.

OH, IS THAT RIGHT?

WELL, SHE MUST HAVE BEEN QUITE A SWINGER.

WHAT?

OH, YOU SAID MY AUNT

RESEMBLES YOUR LATE WIFE.

YEAH. UH, UH, SWINGER?

OH, AUNT BEE'S THE KIND OF WOMAN YOU CAN'T HOLD DOWN.

SHE'S JUST ALWAYS ON THE GO.

SO YOUR ETHEL MUST HAVE BEEN QUITE A WOMAN.

WELL, THAT'S STRANGE.

I HAD THE IMPRESSION

THAT, UH, YOUR AUNT WAS MORE OF A HOMEBODY.

WELL, SHE IS WHEN YOU CAN KEEP HER AT HOME

BUT SHE'S ALWAYS ON THE GO.

NEW YORK, FLORIDA.

SHE JUST LOVES THE BRIGHT LIGHTS.

SHE DOESN'T ENJOY HER HOME

AND PUTTERING AROUND THE KITCHEN?

WELL, SHE DOES IT WHEN SHE HAS TO,

LIKE WHEN WE HAVE COMPANY OR SOMETHING

BUT IT'S, IT'S NOTHING THAT REALLY INTERESTS HER.

HI, HUBERT.

I'VE PUT ON SOMETHING DRESSY.

THEY'VE OPENED UP A NEW NIGHTCLUB OVER IN MT. PILOT

CALLED THE BOMBO PILOT.

HOW ABOUT DOING A LITTLE SWINGING?

SWINGING?

YES. WHY NOT?

WELL, YOU KNOW, FRANKLY, UH, BEE,

I HAD PLANNED ON A MORE QUIET EVENING.

OH, COME ON, HUBERT, THAT'S FOR OLD FOLKS.

LIVE A LITTLE. LIVE A LITTLE.

THAT'S MY MOTTO, ISN'T IT, ANDY?

THAT'S WHAT YOU'VE ALWAYS SAID.

AND I'VE GOT TOMORROW ALL PLANNED.

WE'RE GOING TO GO TO THE RACES

AND AFTER THAT, WE'RE GOING

TO THE DELIGHTFUL LITTLE ROADHOUSE

CALLED, UH...FATTY'S PLACE.

I, I HAD NO IDEA

THAT, UH, THOSE THINGS MEANT SO MUCH TO YOU, BEE.

OH, YOU SOUND DISAPPOINTED, HUBERT.

WELL, NO. I, UH...

I SUPPOSE THE TIME HAS COME TO SPEAK FRANKLY.

BEE, I WANT YOU TO KNOW

THAT I STILL HAVE A VERY HIGH REGARD FOR YOU

BUT THE FACT IS THAT WE SEEM TO BE

MILES APART AS FAR AS

OUR PERSONAL INTERESTS ARE CONCERNED.

I MEAN, ETHEL WAS MORE...

THEN I SUPPOSE THERE'S NOTHING MORE TO BE SAID, EH?

BETTER BE RUNNING ALONG.

GOODBYE, HUBERT.

GOODBYE, BEE.

OH...

YOU THINK WE DID THE RIGHT THING?

AW, I FELT KIND OF SORRY FOR HIM.

WELL, LOOK AT IT THIS WAY.

IF HE THOUGHT YOU WERE A SECOND ETHEL

SOMEWHERE OUT THERE THERE'S GOT TO BE A THIRD.

HMM.

PROFESSOR.

HMM?

ARE YOU LEAVING?

YES. I THOUGHT I'D LEAVE ON THE 5:00 TRAIN.

OH. WELL, THAT WOULD GIVE YOU PLENTY OF TIME

TO STOP BY MY HOUSE

FOR A NICE PIECE OF NESSELRODE PIE.

OF COURSE, WE COULD STOP BY THE DINER

BUT I'M JUST A HOMEBODY, YOU KNOW?

WELL, I... OH.

NOW I FEEL BETTER.

HELLO.

OH, HELLO, ANDY.

OH, ANDY, I SAW CLARA TODAY.

OH, DID YOU? MM-HMM.

HOW DID, UH, THAT THING WORK OUT

BETWEEN CLARA AND THE PROFESSOR?

WELL, I GATHER NOTHING CAME OF IT.

THE PROFESSOR LEFT YESTERDAY ON THE 5:00 TRAIN.

AWW. WAS SHE VERY UPSET?

NO. YOU KNOW CLARA. SHE BOUNCES RIGHT BACK.

SHE'S BUSY PLANNING HER NEXT LECTURE.

OH, REALLY? MM-HMM.

WHAT'S IT GONNA BE ABOUT?

OUTER MONGOLIA.

YOU'RE KIDDING.

NO, THAT'S WHAT IT'S GONNA BE ABOUT.

WELL, I CAN UNDERSTAND SOUTH AMERICA,

BUT SOME GUY TALKING ABOUT OUTER MONGOLIA --

WHY WOULD SHE EVER HIRE A LECTURER LIKE THAT?

WELL, HE'S THE ONLY SHE COULD DIG UP THAT'S NOT ONLY SINGLE,

BUT HE'S NEVER BEEN MARRIED BEFORE.

OH.