Original subtitles

WHAT'D YOU DO LAST NIGHT?

OH... HELEN AND I TOOK A WALK.

I DROVE INTO MT. PILOT

AND SEEN THAT FOREIGN FILM THEY GOT PLAYING THERE.

OH, YEAH.

LA VIE DA FEMME, SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

YEAH. THEM FRENCH PEOPLE SURE HAVE A GOOD TIME.

YEAH.

STAYING UP LATE, DRINKING CHAMPAGNE

DANCING FROM ONE ROOM TO THE OTHER.

NOT ONE FELLA IN THAT PICTURE WAS A WORKING MAN.

HI, FELLAS.

WHAT'S SO FUNNY?

OH, GOOBER SAW A PICTURE LAST NIGHT.

YOU EVER BEEN TO FRANCE, HARRY?

NO. NO.

BOY, YOU CALL RALEIGH A LIVELY TOWN.

HEY, IS FLOYD HERE?

NO. HE WENT HOME FOR A WHILE.

WELL, I GUESS THAT'S IT, THEN.

OKAY, UP SHE GOES.

THERE IT IS.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW?

MMM.

THAT IS KIND OF SUDDEN, ISN'T IT, HARRY?

YEAH. I GOT A LETTER

FROM THE ROBINSON FAMILY THIS MORNING.

BEING OUT IN CALIFORNIA ALL THOSE YEARS

THEY FIGURED THEY MIGHT AS WELL SELL IT.

THEY'VE OWNED IT LONG ENOUGH.

20 OR 30 YEARS, I EXPECT.

I THINK FLOYD'S BEEN IN THERE THAT LONG.

Harry: YEAH?

BE A GOOD BUY FOR SOMEBODY, I GUESS.

YEAH, IT WOULD.

YEAH.

HMM.

UH, ANDY, UH...

HOW ABOUT YOU, HUH?

ME?

YEAH. IT'S A GOOD LOCATION

RIGHT IN THE HEART OF TOWN.

YEAH, AND WHO KNOWS?

SOMEDAY-- I'M NOT SAYING TOMORROW, OF COURSE--

BUT THIS WHOLE THING COULD BE A HIGH-RISE AREA.

"A HIGH

YEAH. YOU GOT TO HAVE VISION, ANDY.

MAYBERRY'S JUST A SMALL TOWN.

ABOUT 200 YEARS.

EXACTLY.

BUT WHEN MAYBERRY GOES, LOOK OUT, BUSTER.

THE SAME THING HAPPENED WITH DETROIT.

SLEEPY LITTLE TOWN

AND ALL OF A SUDDEN, SHOT UP LIKE A WEED.

20 YEARS FROM NOW WHERE WE'RE STANDING--

WHY, THERE COULD BE A 20-STORY BUILDING HERE.

IF I HAD THE MONEY, I'D BUY THIS PLACE.

GOOB, IF I WAS YOU

I'D JUST WORRY ABOUT THE GAS STATION

'CAUSE THAT'S PROBABLY

WHERE THE SUBWAY WILL BE COMING THROUGH.

IT'S A GOOD INVESTMENT THE WAY IT STANDS.

IT'S ONLY $1,500 DOWN.

NO REAL ESTATE, HARRY.

WELL, IT'S A GOOD PIECE OF PROPERTY

IF YOU CHANGE YOUR MIND.

JUST DON'T BLOCK MY SIGN.

SEE YOU, FELLAS.

HARRY.

BOY, FLOYD'S GOING TO BE SURPRISED

WHEN HE GETS BACK.

YEAH.

WHAT?

I WAS JUST THINKING, WHAT IF SOMEBODY BUYS THIS

WHO DOESN'T WANT JUST A TENANT

BUT WANTS IT FOR HIS OWN USE?

ARE YOU SAYING MAYBE THERE WON'T BE

A FLOYD'S BARBERSHOP NO MORE?

NOT MUCH CHANCE OF THAT, IS THERE?

NO.

WELL, I BETTER GO TO WORK.

HEY, ANDY.

NOW, I KNOW IT'S NOT GOING TO HAPPEN FOR A LONG TIME

BUT, UH, HOW WIDE DOES THE SUBWAY HAVE TO BE?

IT WAS LIKE A BOLT FROM THE BLUE, ANDY.

LIKE A BOLT FROM THE BLUE.

I KNOW.

IF I HAVE TO GET OUT OF THERE,

THERE'S NOT ANOTHER SHOP ON MAIN STREET

THAT'S VACANT.

YEP. YEAH, I KNOW.

WORRIES ME.

FLOYD, A FELLA ONCE SAID

IF YOU DON'T WORRY ABOUT THINGS TILL THEY HAPPEN

YOU'LL SAVE YOURSELF A LOT OF GRIEF

BECAUSE 90% OF THE THINGS NEVER HAPPEN.

THAT'S TRUE.

BUT WHEN YOU THINK

28 YEARS IN THE SAME LOCATION.

I CUT YOUR HAIR, ANDY, WHEN YOU WERE THIS HIGH.

YEAH.

I REMEMBER YOU ALWAYS WANTED TO EAT

THE SHAVING CREAM.

YOU THOUGHT IT WAS ICE CREAM.

YOU WERE PRETTY STUPID, YOU KNOW THAT?

IT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE I WAS TOO SMART.

I SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT THE BUILDING YEARS AGO,

WHEN I HAD THE MONEY.

WELL, FLOYD, YOU CAN'T LOOK BACK.

OH, NO.

OH... NO.

IT'LL BE INTERESTING TO SEE WHO THE BUYER IS, THOUGH.

YEAH. YEAH, IT WILL.

YOU WANT TO PLAY THE WINNER, FLOYD?

IT'S GOING TO BE ME.

NO, NO, THANKS.

DON'T BE SO COCKSURE, GOOBER, I'M NOT WHIPPED YET.

IF YOU CAN GET OUT OF THAT, YOU'RE A MAGICIAN.

HOW COME YOU DON'T WANT TO PLAY, FLOYD?

I HAVE MY MIND ON OTHER THINGS.

WHEN A MAN'S WHOLE BUSINESS CAREER IS THREATENED,

HE'S IN NO MOOD FOR CHECKERS.

THE WORK OF OVER A QUARTER OF A CENTURY.

LEARNING THE PROFESSION

AND BECOMING MORE SKILLFUL OVER THE YEARS,

TO A POINT WHERE IT'S OFTEN BEEN DESCRIBED

AS ARTISTRY.

OH, MY.

WELL, FLOYD, NOTHING'S HAPPENED YET.

HI, FELLAS.

FLOYD, YOU DON'T MIND IF I SHOW MY CLIENT AROUND, HUH?

HARRY.

WE JUST WANTED TO CHECK THE STRUCTURE A LITTLE, FLOYD.

LOOK IT OVER.

IT'S SOLID AS A ROCK, HUH?

OF COURSE, THERE ARE A FEW THIN SPOTS.

IT GIVES THE BUILDING FLEXIBILITY

IN CASE OF EARTHQUAKES.

ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT BUYING IT?

WELL...

LET ME ANSWER THAT.

IF HE KNOWS VALUE, HE'S GOING TO GRAB IT UP.

I WAS CONSIDERING IT, ANDY.

I'VE SAVED A LITTLE MONEY HERE AND THERE OVER THE YEARS

AND IT'S A NICE LOCATION.

I'VE ALWAYS SORT OF KIND OF HAD A YEN

TO OWN A PIECE OF THE GOOD EARTH.

HOWARD.

YEAH, FLOYD?

DID YOU HAVE ANYTHING IN PARTICULAR PLANNED

FOR THE PLACE?

I WAS HOPING...

HAVE YOU SEEN THE BACK ROOM, HOWARD?

I MEAN, THEY'VE GOT COMPLETE PLUMBING FACILITIES

AND A GENUINE CERAMIC TILE

IN THAT RED AND PURPLE THAT'S SO POPULAR RIGHT NOW.

I'LL GO LISTEN AND SEE WHAT I CAN HEAR.

FLOYD, I'M SURE IF HOWARD BOUGHT IT

HE'D WANT YOU TO STAY.

SURE. IT SOUNDS LIKE HE MIGHT BE THINKING

ABOUT BUYING IT FOR AN INVESTMENT.

YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT'S IN THE BACK OF A MAN'S MIND.

THERE COULD BE THINGS TICKING BACK THERE.

BOY, ANDY,

WHAT CAN HAPPEN OVERNIGHT?

Andy: WHAT?

THE AIRCRAFT INDUSTRY'S GOT THEIR EYE ON MAYBERRY.

OH, THAT HARRY IS SURE SOME SALESMAN.

SHH, SHH, SHH.

WELL, I GUESS YOU GOT THE PICTURE, HUH, HOWARD?

SOON AS YOU MAKE UP YOUR MIND

JUST GIVE ME A BUZZ DOWN AT THE OFFICE.

OH, AND, HOWARD, UH, I'LL CALL YOU LATER.

SEE YOU, HARRY.

HOWARD, DID YOU HAVE ANYTHING PLANNED FOR THE PLACE

IF YOU BOUGHT IT?

YOU WERE SAYING SOMETHING ABOUT "HOPING."

OH, YEAH, YEAH.

WELL, MAYBERRY'S ALWAYS GOING TO NEED A BARBERSHOP

AND I WAS HOPING YOU'D STAY ON AS A TENANT, FLOYD.

TOLD YOU YOU DIDN'T HAVE ONE THING TO WORRY ABOUT.

YEAH, HOWARD'S GOING TO BUY IT.

DECIDED TODAY.

OH, I'M SO GLAD.

AND I KNOW HOW RELIEVED FLOYD MUST BE.

OH, YEAH.

WELL, ALL OF YOU, AS A MATTER OF FACT.

THAT PLACE HAS BECOME AN INSTITUTION.

IT'S BEEN THE CENTER OF THE TOWN'S ACTIVITIES FOR YEARS.

SAY, PAW, WHEN I GET OLDER,

CAN I LOAF AROUND THE BARBERSHOP, TOO?

WELL, I WOULDN'T CALL IT LOAFING, OPIE.

WELL, GEE, PAW, YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING THERE.

YOU JUST SIT AROUND AND PLAY CHECKERS

AND TALK AND GRUNT.

WELL, THERE'S A... THERE'S A LOT MORE TO IT THAN THAT.

ISN'T THERE, AUNT BEE?

OH, YES, IT'S A PLACE WHERE THE MEN GATHER

AND THEY DISCUSS THINGS AND --

WHENEVER I GO IN THERE FOR A HAIRCUT,

THEY'RE JUST LOAFING.

WE'RE NOT LOAFING.

WELL, WHATEVER YOU'RE DOING, CAN I DO IT WHEN I GET OLDER?

WELL, THAT'S A LONG WAYS OFF.

WELL, NOT TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT,

BUT WHEN WILL HOWARD OWN IT?

WELL, HARRY SAYS IN A WEEK OR 10 DAYS.

ARE THE PAPERS ALL SIGNED AND EVERYTHING?

OH, YEAH.

A LOT OF TIMES, WHEN I GO IN THERE,

EVERYBODY'S JUST LEANING BACK IN THE CHAIRS, SLEEPING.

EAT YOUR SUPPER.

WELL, HERE IT IS, HOWARD,

ALL SIGNED, SEALED, AND DELIVERED.

OH, GOOD, GOOD.

YEAH, THERE IS ONE THING, HOWARD.

YOU KNOW, WELL, THE NEW TAX BILL CAME IN

AND THE INSURANCE PREMIUM

AND, WELL, THEY'VE GONE UP, HOWARD.

OH?

OF COURSE, EVERYTHING, ALL OVER THE COUNTRY,

HAS GONE UP-- YOU KNOW THAT.

I MEAN, IT'LL JUST BE A MATTER OF TIME,

A YEAR OR TWO, AND IT'LL ALL GO UP, YOU KNOW.

YEAH, I GUESS SO.

WELL, OF COURSE, THIS IS GOING TO AFFECT

THE RETURN ON YOUR PROPERTY, YOU KNOW.

WELL, I WAS PLANNING ON MAKING 5% ON MY INVESTMENT.

OH, YOU WILL, HOWARD.

THERE'S NO PROBLEM THERE AT ALL, IT'S THE --

WELL, YOU MAY HAVE TO RAISE FLOYD'S RENT,

MAYBE $15 OR SOMETHING, YOU KNOW.

HE ONLY PAYS $50 NOW, HOWARD.

GEE, I WONDER IF HE'LL OBJECT.

NO, NO, I DON'T THINK SO.

AFTER ALL, FLOYD'S A REASONABLE MAN.

HE -- WHEN IT COMES TO BUSINESS, HE KNOWS.

HE JUST HAS TO EXPECT A RAISE, THAT'S ALL.

YEAH. YEAH.

WELL, I'LL DRAW UP A LEASE AND POP OVER AND SEE HIM.

GOO, GOOD, GOOD, GOOD, HOWARD.

AND GOOD LUCK WITH THE PROPERTY, HUH?

THANKS, HARRY.

SO LONG.

HI, FELLAS.

HEY, HOWARD.

HELLO THERE, LANDLORD.

I THOUGHT YOU'D BE POPPING IN TODAY.

WELL, HOWARD, HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE A PROPERTY OWNER?

OH, GREAT. JUST GREAT.

WE'RE JUST LOAFING AROUND HERE, WAITING ON YOU.

SETTING AROUND, NOT LOAFING.

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE?

OH, FORGET IT.

UH, FLOYD, I BROUGHT THE LEASE OVER FOR YOU TO SIGN.

OH, THAT'S THE WAY I LIKE TO DO BUSINESS--

EVERYTHING WRITTEN OUT.

YOU'RE A SMART LANDLORD, HOWARD.

SAY, FLOYD...

YEAH, AND YOU'RE GOING TO FIX THE FAUCETS

LIKE YOU SAID YOU WOULD

AND TAKE CARE OF THAT HOLE IN THE WALL

WHERE HARRY PUT HIS FIST THROUGH?

OH, SURE, SURE.

UH... UH, FLOYD

A-ABOUT THE LEASE, CLAUSE SIX THERE...

MAYBE YOU MIGHT LIKE TO DISCUSS THAT IN PRIVATE.

AW, THERE COULDN'T

POSSIBLY BE ANYTHING IN HERE

THAT MY DEAR FRIENDS COULDN'T KNOW ABOUT.

CLAUSE SIX, EH?

LET'S SEE HERE...

$65 A MONTH?!

YOU ROBBER!

DID YOU HEAR THAT?

HE WANTS TO RAISE MY RENT.

NOW, LOOK, FLOYD...

YEAH, CRUSH THE LITTLE MAN, WILL YOU?

DRIVE HIM INTO THE GROUND.

FLOYD...

TAKE THE VERY FOOD OUT OF HIS MOUTH.

FLOYD, I'M SURE HOWARD HAS AN EXPLANATION

IF YOU'D JUST LISTEN TO HIM.

FLOYD, ALL I WANT TO DO IS MAKE FIVE PERCENT ON MY INVESTMENT

WHICH IS CERTAINLY NOMINAL.

IT'S JUST THAT COSTS HAVE GONE UP.

IT'S INFLATIONARY!

PRICE SPIRALING.

THAT'S WHAT YOU DID. THAT'S WHAT HE DID.

HE IS?

I WON'T PAY IT! I WON'T PAY IT!

BUT, FLOYD, HE'S ENTITLED

TO FIVE PERCENT.

FLOYD, I JUST GOT TO GET TO $65.

ALL RIGHT, HOWARD, IF YOU'VE GOT TO GET IT.

IT'S YOUR BUILDING.

BUT YOU WON'T GET IT FROM ME!

I HEREBY GIVE NOTICE

THAT I'LL VACATE THE PREMISES TOMORROW.

FLOYD, YOU'RE NOT SERIOUS.

I'M NOT?

WELL, THAT DOES IT.

FLOYD GET ALL OF HIS STUFF OUT?

YEAH, ALL EXCEPT THE FIXTURES.

THEY GO WITH THE SHOP.

I GUESS YOU'RE GOING TO RENT IT TO ANOTHER BARBER?

OH, YES. I FEEL IT'S IMPERATIVE

FOR THE WELLBEING OF MAYBERRY.

AFTER ALL, A TOWN WITHOUT A BARBER

WOULD BE IN DESPERATE STRAITS.

WOULD BE PRETTY SHAGGY, TOO.

I SUPPOSE YOU HEARD

ABOUT FLOYD'S PLANS.

HE'S GOING TO OPEN UP A SHOP IN MT. PILOT.

NO COMMENT, ANDY.

I THOUGHT FLOYD WAS VERY UNREASONABLE--

ACTUALLY, TO THE POINT OF BEING RUDE.

I'VE NEVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE BEEN CALLED A SCAVENGER.

I DON'T MUCH CARE WHAT HE DOES.

WELL, I SURE HATE TO SEE THIS HAPPEN.

ME, TOO -- WE AIN'T HAD NO BAD BLOOD IN THIS TOWN

SINCE THAT FERGUSON GIRL BEAT UP HAROLD LOVETT.

WELL, I GOT TO BE GOING.

I'LL... I'LL SEE YOU FELLAS.

OKAY.

WHAT YOU GOING TO DO NOW?

GO TO WORK.

WHEN WILL YOU BE FINISHED?

I DON'T KNOW.

FINISHED WORK YET, ANDY?

NO, NOT YET.

I'LL JUST WAIT AROUND, THEN.

I WAS JUST POURING THEM OUT

FOR WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED.

DON'T YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO DO

AT THE FILLING STATION?

WALLY'S THERE THIS AFTERNOON.

DON'T YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO DO SOMEWHERE?

NO.

WELL, HOW ABOUT YOUR LAUNDRY?

DONE THAT LAST NIGHT.

HI, FELLAS.

Goober: HEY, CYRUS.

I SEE FLOYD CLOSED DOWN ALREADY.

I WAS WONDERING WHERE YOU FELLAS WERE.

WANT TO PLAY SOME CHECKERS?

I DON'T MIND IF I DO. WELL, GRAB A CHAIR.

BOYS, THIS IS THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE,

NOT THE BARBERSHOP.

ANDY, WE WON'T MAKE A SOUND.

YOU WON'T EVEN KNOW WE'RE HERE.

YOU TAKE THE RED.

I BET YOU I BEAT YOU THIS TIME.

DON'T BE SO SURE. DON'T BE SO SURE.

GOOBER. HUH?

: GET OFF.

OH, SORRY. THANKS.

THAT'S OKAY.

DON'T WANT TO BE NO TROUBLE, ANDY.

WAIT A MINUTE!

I MOVED ONE OF YOUR CHECKERS.

YOU GOT TO LEAVE IT THERE. THAT COUNTS.

NO, IT DOESN'T. DOESN'T IT, GOOBER?

I DON'T KNOW. NEVER SEEN IT HAPPEN BEFORE.

ANDY, IF YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE A MOVE

AND YOU MAKE A MISTAKE AND YOU MOVE

ANOTHER FELLA'S CHECKER, DON'T THAT COUNT?

HONEST, AUNT BEE, I DON'T NEED A HAIRCUT.

IT'S GETTING VERY SCRAGGLY.

ALL THE KIDS WEAR IT SCRAGGLY NOW.

I JUST REMEMBERED, I'VE GOT TO DO MY HOMEWORK.

NO, YOU SIT RIGHT DOWN THERE.

YOU SURE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING?

WELL, I USED TO CUT MY BROTHER'S HAIR

WHEN I WAS A LITTLE GIRL, I'M PERFECTLY CAPABLE.

I LIKE THE PART OVER...

I'LL DECIDE THAT.

FLOYD ALWAYS USED TO...

FLOYD ISN'T HERE.

PAW, WILL YOU DRIVE ME

TO MT. PILOT FOR A HAIRCUT?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

PLEASE TAKE ME TO MT. PILOT.

I'LL SEE, I'LL SEE. THANKS, PAW.

OH, ANDY. WELL, WHAT'S BOTHERING US?

"WHAT'S BOTHERING US?"

MY OFFICE IS A CHECKER PARLOR

AND NOW MY HOME'S A BARBERSHOP.

I DON'T KNOW WHERE A MAN'S SUPPOSED TO WORK.

Floyd: HI, ANDY.

WELL, HI, FLOYD.

GOOD TO SEE YOU.

JUST GOT BACK FROM MT. PILOT.

YEAH?

THINK I'VE GOT A NICE PLACE LINED UP THERE.

TWO CHAIRS, MIRRORS ON BOTH WALLS.

AUTOMATIC LATHER MACHINE -- OH, IT'S THE BIG TIME.

FLOYD, I STILL THINK THAT YOU AND HOWARD...

I'LL THANK YOU NOT TO MENTION THAT MAN'S NAME IN MY PRESENCE!

I HAPPEN TO FIND IT REPUGNANT.

I'M SORRY.

STILL HASN'T FOUND A TENANT, HAS HE?

NO.

IT'S A SHAME, FLOYD.

AFTER 28 YEARS IN THE SAME SPOT,

IT'S TIME FOR A CHANGE.

A MAN CAN GET IN A RUT, YOU KNOW.

SAME OLD PEOPLE, SAME OLD CHITCHAT.

I'LL SEE YOU, ANDY.

I GOT BUSINESS TO ATTEND TO.

I'LL SEE YOU, FLOYD.

HI, ANDY.

OH, HI, HOWARD.

GOT AN APPOINTMENT WITH A MR. COEFIELD.

OH.

YEAH.

RUNS A WHOLE CHAIN OF BARBERSHOPS.

HE'S INTERESTED IN HAVING ONE HERE IN MAYBERRY.

SOUNDS BIG.

YEAH. YEAH, IT SURE DOES.

MR. SPRAGUE?

OH, MR. COEFIELD, I PRESUME.

THIS IS SHERIFF TAYLOR.

WELL, THIS MIGHT DO AFTER A LITTLE FIXING UP.

"FIXING UP"?

I'LL TAKE CARE OF THE COSTS.

STAINLESS STEEL WALLS HALFWAY UP

MIRRORS THE REST OF THE WAY.

I LIKE MY PLACES NEAT, MODERN.

THOSE PICTURES WILL HAVE TO GO, AND...

WHAT'S THIS?

IT'S A BULLETIN BOARD.

IF ANYBODY IN TOWN HAS ANYTHING TO TRADE OR SELL

THEY KIND OF MAKE A NOTE, COME IN AND TACK IT UP.

THAT'LL HAVE TO GO.

WHAT'S THIS TABLE DOING HERE?

WELL, A LOT OF THE FELLAS COME IN FROM TIME TO TIME

AND PLAY CHECKERS.

NOW I KNOW WHY THEY DIDN'T MAKE A GO OF IT BEFORE.

TOO MUCH TALK, NOT ENOUGH HAIRCUTS.

THINGS WILL BE DIFFERENT WHEN I PUT A MAN IN HERE.

I RUN AN EFFICIENT BUSINESS.

NO TOMFOOLERY, NO TIME WASTING.

MR. SPRAGUE, I'LL GIVE YOU $70 A MONTH.

WELL, I...

I'LL MAKE IT $75 AND THAT'S MY FINAL OFFER.

WELL, I'D SORT OF KIND OF LIKE TO THINK IT OVER

IF YOU DON'T MIND, MR. COEFIELD.

OKAY.

YOU KNOW WHERE TO GET IN TOUCH WITH ME.

RIGHT.

I JUST DON'T WANT TO JUMP INTO ANYTHING.

OF COURSE.

OF COURSE, I HAVEN'T SIGNED THE LEASE YET

AT THE MT. PILOT SHOP, BUT IT'LL WORK OUT FINE.

I'LL BE RIGHT NEXT TO THE JOLLY TIME SNACK BAR.

THAT'S GOOD.

AND THEN THE OTHER SIDE IS A PICKLE-BOTTLING PLANT.

UH-HUH.

A LOT OF WALK-IN TRADE.

THAT SOUNDS GOOD, FLOYD.

WHAT DID YOU WANT TO SEE ME ABOUT?

YOU SAID IT WAS IMPORTANT.

IT'S NOT REAL IMPORTANT. IT'S JUST THAT...

HI, ANDY. I...

WHAT'S HE DOING HERE?

UH...

COME IN, HOWARD AND SIT DOWN.

IF YOU DON'T MIND, ANDY, I'D RATHER NOT.

GOOD RIDDANCE.

HOWARD, SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN.

NOW, THE REASON YOU'RE BOTH HERE

IS BECAUSE I PLANNED IT THAT WAY.

YOU'VE BEEN FRIENDS MUCH TOO LONG

TO PART LIKE THIS.

SO BEFORE YOU GO YOUR SEPARATE WAYS

I WANT YOU TO SHAKE HANDS.

THAT'S ALL.

WELL, GO AHEAD AND SHAKE.

NOW, DON'T YOU FEEL BETTER?

I HOPE YOU LIKE IT IN MT. PILOT, FLOYD.

THANK YOU, HOWARD.

HOPE YOU RENT THE PLACE SOON TO ANOTHER BARBER.

IF YOU TWO HAD SENSE ENOUGH, YOU'D REALIZE

YOU'LL BOTH BE BETTER OFF THIS WAY.

YOU REALLY WILL.

FLOYD, YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE A LOT MORE MONEY

IN MT. PILOT, RIGHT?

WELL, YES, I EXPECT TO.

YEAH. AND, HOWARD, YOU'RE GOING TO RENT THE PLACE

FOR MORE THAN $65 A MONTH.

YEAH, I GUESS SO.

SO, YOU SEE?

NEITHER ONE OF YOU IS LOSING ANYTHING.

YOU'RE BOTH GAINING A GREAT DEAL

AND ALL YOU'RE MAD AT ONE ANOTHER ABOUT

IS A STUPID PIECE OF REAL ESTATE.

WELL, IT'S A LITTLE MORE THAN THAT, ANDY.

THE PLACE HAD SORT OF A HOMEY TOUCH.

YEAH, IT HAD ATMOSPHERE.

THERE'S NO QUESTION ABOUT THAT.

OH, SURE, IT HAD ATMOSPHERE.

A BUNCH OF GUYS HANGING AROUND, CLUTTERING UP THE PLACE.

BUT...

YOU CAN'T MAKE MONEY THAT WAY, FLOYD.

THOSE FELLAS THAT HUNG AROUND THE BARBERSHOP--

THEY WERE FRIENDS.

OH, I KNOW THEY WERE FRIENDS...

YEAH, AND THEY WEREN'T CLUTTERING UP THE PLACE,

EITHER, THERE WAS GOOD TALK AND CONVERSATION.

UH, WORLD EVENTS.

WE HAD VERY STIMULATING DISCUSSIONS.

THERE ARE OTHER THINGS BESIDES MONEY.

ABSOLUTELY. YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.

THE BARBERSHOP WAS A TOWN TRADITION.

I GUESS YOU JUST WEREN'T AWARE OF THAT.

RIGHT. A TOWN TRADITION.

IT'S A SHAME TO SEE IT CHANGE.

A REAL SHAME.

I'LL COME DOWN $7.50 IN THE RENT.

I'LL GO UP $7.50.

DEAL?

DEAL.

FUNNY THING, ANDY--

I ALWAYS HAD YOU PEGGED FOR A PRETTY SMART FELLA.

AMAZING -- AFTER ALL THESE YEARS,

YOU NEVER UNDERSTOOD

WHAT AN INSTITUTION FLOYD'S BARBERSHOP WAS.

WELL, HE USED TO THINK

SHAVING CREAM WAS ICE CREAM.

I'M SORRY, GUYS.

I GUESS I JUST NEVER REALIZED ALL THIS.

YEAH.

AUNT BEE, HONEST, I DON'T NEED A HAIRCUT.

NOW, WE POSTPONED THIS YESTERDAY

AND WE'RE NOT GOING TO POSTPONE IT ANY LONGER!

I'LL GET ONE IN MT. PILOT.

NO, YOUR FATHER HASN'T GOT TIME TO TAKE YOU.

I'LL RIDE MY BIKE. IT ONLY TAKES SIX HOURS.

OH, NONSENSE. NOW, WILL YOU PLEASE SIT STILL.

I HAVE TO GET THIS PIKE'S PEAK OFF, FIRST OF ALL.

CAN I HAVE A PILL OR SOMETHING?

OH, WILL YOU BE STILL.

GOOD NEWS -- FLOYD'S BACK.

OH, BOY! OH, WELL, HOW DID ALL THAT HAPPEN?

WELL, HOWARD WENT DOWN $7.50

AND FLOYD WENT UP $7.50.

WHY DIDN'T THEY DO THAT IN THE FIRST PLACE?

THEN I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD TO GO THROUGH ALL THIS.