Original subtitles

WHERE DO YOU FIGURE TO EAT LUNCH, ANDY?

OH, I HADN'T GIVEN IT MUCH THOUGHT.

THE DINER?

TOO LATE FOR THE DINER -- THEY'LL BE RUNNING OUT

OF THE SPECIAL AND TRYING TO STRETCH IT.

LIKE, IF THE SPECIAL'S ROAST TURKEY,

THEY'LL GIVE YOU JUST A COUPLE OF THIN SLICES

AND PROP IT UP WITH A BIG MOUND OF DRESSING.

IT'S ALL COVERED, SO YOU REALLY DON'T KNOW

WHERE YOU STAND 'TIL YOU ACTUALLY CUT INTO IT.

YOU WANT TO KIND OF HELP ME?

WELL, LET'S SEE.. HOW ABOUT

THE COUNTER AT THE DRUGSTORE?

WELL, THAT'S A THOUGHT.

SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO.

GOOB, YOU MAKE A BIG THING OUT OF EATING, DON'T YOU?

WELL, AFTER ALL, ANDY, I WORK HARD ALL DAY.

NOW, WHAT'S THE AVERAGE FELLA GOT TO LOOK FORWARD TO?

EATING, BOWLING, GIRLS.

WELL, MY BOWLING'S BEEN WAY OFF,

I AIN'T HAD NO DATES LATELY,

SO ALL THAT'S LEFT, SEE?

OH, HELLO, ANDY.

I'M DOING MY MARKETING AND I WAS JUST WONDERING

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE FOR SUPPER?

WE'RE STILL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT

WHAT TO DO ABOUT LUNCH.

YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING OF HAVING, JUST FOR A CHANGE?

I'D STOP BY THE SPARE RIB TAVERN AND BRING SOME HOME.

OH, IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT, AUNT BEE.

THAT PLACE CLOSED UP YESTERDAY.

NO!

MR. HENDRICKS COULDN'T SEEM TO MAKE IT.

OH, WHAT A SHAME. AND HE WAS SUCH A NICE MAN.

I GUESS THIS JUST ISN'T A SPARE-RIB TOWN.

THE RESTAURANT BUSINESS CAN BE SO TREACHEROUS.

YEAH.

WELL, I'LL THINK OF SOMETHING. GOODBYE.

BYE, AUNT BEE.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO ABOUT LUNCH?

I WISHED AUNT BEE HADN'T COME IN HERE.

WHY?

NOW, I FEEL LIKE SPARE RIBS.

HELLO, CHARLIE.

OH, MISS TAYLOR.

IS MR. HENDRICKS HERE?

I'VE COME TO EXTEND MY SYMPATHIES.

NO, HE IN MT. PILOT--

TRY TO SELL TABLES AND FIXTURES.

OH...

WELL, ALL THIS

IS NO REFLECTION ON YOU, CHARLIE.

YOU'RE AN EXCELLENT CHEF.

MEDIUM. MEDIUM.

SPARE RIBS KIND OF TRICKY.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO NOW, CHARLIE?

GO BACK TO PITTSBURGH.

WONG SOO'S CANTON PALACE.

ALWAYS GET A JOB THERE.

THAT'S WHAT THEY SHOULD HAVE OPENED HERE IN MAYBERRY--

CHINESE RESTAURANT.

BIG SMASH. GOLD MINE.

WELL, THAT'S VERY INTERESTING, CHARLIE.

WHY DON'T YOU OPEN UP ONE HERE RIGHT IN THIS VERY SPOT?

I ASSUME YOU KNOW HOW TO COOK CHINESE DISHES.

ARE YOU KIDDING?

EVER SINCE I WAS 17.

CHOP SUEY, CHOW MEIN, EGG ROLLS-- ALL THAT JAZZ.

THE PROBLEM IS MONEY.

TAKE A LOT OF MONEY

TO FIX UP THE PLACE.

CHINESE LANTERNS, CHINESE SCREENS

CHINESE SOUP BOWLS AND THOSE CRAZY LITTLE SPOONS.

AH, BUT EVERYTHING COST MONEY.

WHY DON'T YOU TRY AND FIND A PARTNER?

YOU HAVE THE KNOW-HOW, AND HE CAN PUT UP THE MONEY.

SURE, SURE.

WHERE DO I FIND A PARTNER?

NOT A CHANCE.

PITTSBURGH, HERE I COME.

WELL, I'LL MAKE IT A POINT TO ASK ABOUT.

YOU WON'T BE LEAVING FOR A FEW DAYS.

FRIDAY.

WELL, I'LL LET YOU KNOW

IF I HEAR OF ANYONE.

MISS TAYLOR, YOU ARE A VERY KIND LADY.

NO.

OH, LOOK!

SOMEBODY DROPPED A PENNY.

YOU KEEP IT.

THAT MAKES THIS YOUR LUCKY DAY.

YES.

YES, IT DOES, DOESN'T IT?

CHARLIE, HOW MUCH MONEY

DO YOU THINK A PARTNER WOULD HAVE TO HAVE?

UH... ABOUT, UH, 400 BUCKS, I THINK.

CHARLIE?

YES, MISS TAYLOR?

DON'T BUY YOUR TICKET FOR PITTSBURGH JUST YET.

* CHINATOWN, MY CHINATOWN

* WHEN THE LIGHTS ARE LOW...

I ALWAYS LOVED THAT SONG.

MMM.

ANDY, HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT

HOW FEW TIMES IN ONE'S LIFE OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS?

I DIDN'T THINK ABOUT IT TOO MUCH TODAY.

EVERYBODY LIKES GOOD, WHOLESOME FOOD, DON'T THEY?

UH...

I WOULD SAY, UH...

I-I WOULD SAY YES.

WITH SOY SAUCE?

I GET THE FEELING

YOU'RE GOING TO TELL ME SOMETHING,

BUT YOU'RE GOING TO LET ME HAVE IT

IN DRIBS AND DRABS

SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST GIVE IT TO ME ALL AT ONCE?

ANDY, I'M GOING INTO THE CHINESE RESTAURANT BUSINESS.

WHAT?

THEY CAN BE A GOLD MINE.

THEY CAN BE A SMASH.

NOW, NOW, NOW, HERE'S WHAT WE DO.

LET'S GO BACK TO THE DRIBS AND DRABS

AND YOU KIND OF LET ME HAVE IT GRADUALLY.

WELL, CHARLIE LEE OVER AT THE TAVERN

SAID THIS IS A VERY GOOD PLACE FOR A CHINESE RESTAURANT

AND ALL HE NEEDS IS $400 TO FIX THAT PLACE UP

AND HE NEEDS A PARTNER WITH MONEY

AND I'M GOING IN WITH HIM.

NOW, LET'S HOLD IT RIGHT HERE, RIGHT HERE.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK YOU KNOW ANYTHING

ABOUT RUNNING A RESTAURANT?

WELL, I FEED A FAMILY, DON'T I?

IT'D BE LIKE HAVING A WHOLE LOT OF COMPANY.

BUT WE DON'T FEED OUR COMPANY SUBGUM AND STUFF LIKE THAT.

WELL, THAT'S CHARLIE'S DEPARTMENT.

HE LEARNED TO COOK CHINESE DISHES IN PITTSBURGH.

WHERE ELSE WOULD HE LEARN IT?

BESIDES PUTTING UP THE $400, HOW DEEPLY ARE YOU

GOING TO BE INVOLVED IN THIS?

WELL, I'D EXPECT TO PLAY HOSTESS AND OVERSEE THINGS, GENERALLY.

OF COURSE, I'LL HAVE TIME TO TAKE CARE OF THE HOUSE

AND GIVE YOU AND OPIE YOUR MEALS.

I SEE, I SEE, I SEE.

YEAH, I SEE, I SEE.

UM, UH, I, UH...

I-I TAKE IT THAT YOU WANT MY ADVICE.

OH, I DO, I DO, ANDY.

THAT'S WHY I BROUGHT IT UP BEFORE I PUT MY MONEY INTO IT.

I WANT TO HEAR EVERYTHING YOU HAVE TO SAY.

GOOD IDEA, GOOD IDEA.

NOW, I THINK...

OH, THAT'S RIDICULOUS!

WHY SHOULDN'T A WOMAN GO INTO BUSINESS?

I'M JUST AS CAPABLE AS THE AVERAGE WOMAN.

I THOUGHT YOU WANTED MY OPINION.

I DO, I DO.

SO WHY DON'T YOU EXPRESS YOURSELF?

I'LL TRY.

IT IS MY FEELING...

OH, THAT'S RIDICULOUS!

A TYPICAL MALE ATTITUDE!

ONLY A MAN HAS A HEAD FOR BUSINESS.

AND IT'S ALWAYS THE WOMAN WHO MANAGES THE BUDGET...

I JUST THOUGHT I'D DROP THESE REPORTS OFF...

OH, GOOD.

COME IN.

I WANT TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF A CHINESE RESTAURANT

HERE IN MAYBERRY?

WHAT DO I THINK OF A CHINESE RESTAURANT...

RIGHT HERE. A CHINESE RESTAURANT.

WELL, PERSONALLY, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN PARTIAL

TO ORIENTAL CUISINE.

I'M ESPECIALLY FOND

OF THOSE LITTLE WATER CHESTNUTS

THAT ARE SO MUCH A PART OF THEIR MAIN DISHES.

BUT DO YOU THINK A CHINESE RESTAURANT

COULD BE A SUCCESS HERE?

WELL, WHO WAS IT THAT SAID

"DARN CLEVER OF THOSE CHINESE"?

I DON'T KNOW. IT MIGHT GO.

I'M CONSIDERING OPENING ONE WITH CHARLIE

AT THE TAVERN.

OH, YOU DON'T SAY?

THE EAST AND THE WEST, HUH?

WELL, MAYBE IT'S TIME THE TWAIN MET.

I CAN'T THANK YOU ENOUGH FOR YOUR HELP.

WELL, I THINK HOWARD'S OBSERVATIONS

WERE VERY WELL PUT.

I-I KNOW I'M GOING UPHILL FROM HERE,

BUT WHAT MAKES YOU THINK

YOU AND CHARLIE CAN MAKE A GO OF IT?

WELL, FOR ONE THING

CHARLIE THINKS IT'LL BE SUCCESSFUL

AND FOR ANOTHER, ON MY WAY OUT, I FOUND A PENNY.

OH.

JACK HELP YOU WITH THOSE AS SOON AS HE GETS HERE.

DO YOU THINK HE'S GOING TO MAKE A GOOD WAITER?

IF HE DOESN'T, WE FIRE HIM

EVEN THOUGH HE'S MY NEPHEW.

A COLLEGE STUDENT...

HE WANTS TO EARN SOME MONEY.

WE'LL SEE.

SAY, MISS TAYLOR, WHEN YOU CHECK THE BILLS

THE NOODLE ORDER IS TWO CARTONS SHORT.

OH, WELL, I'LL CALL THE NOODLE PEOPLE LATER.

YEAH, TELL 'EM THEY'RE OFF THEIR NOODLE!

HOW DID THE PRINTERS MAKE OUT WITH THE MENUS?

I'M CHECKING THEM NOW.

HE SPELL SOME THINGS WRONG, BUT NOBODY KNOW THE DIFFERENCE.

I'M NOT SO SURE.

IT'S NOTHING!

UH, LI CHI CHI-- THAT MEANS CHICKEN.

HE LEFT OUT ONE CHI.

SO WHAT, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

MM-HMM. I SUPPOSE SO.

HI!

JACK, GOOD TO SEE YOU, PAISAN!

YOU'RE LOOKING SHARP, MAN, SHARP!

HEY, GREAT, UNCLE!

OH, MISS TAYLOR, UH, THIS IS OUR WAITER.

HOW DO YOU DO, MISS TAYLOR?

OH, HOW DO YOU DO?

YOU'RE GOING TO WAIT ON TABLES?

YES, IF IT'S ALL RIGHT WITH YOU.

WELL, YES, IT'S JUST THAT YOU DON'T LOOK THE WAITER-ISH TYPE.

OH, HE'S NOT.

HE GOES TO THE UNIVERSITY OF NORTH CAROLINA.

OH!

YES, I'M TAKING MY MASTER'S IN PSYCHOLOGY

AND I STILL HAVE TO SUPPORT MYSELF.

I'M BETWEEN SEMESTERS NOW.

WELL, I UNDERSTAND, IT'S JUST THAT

YOU'RE SO VERY AMERICAN, I WONDERED, ARE YOU GOING TO BE

IN KEEPING WITH THE LANTERNS AND EVERYTHING?

OH, I DON'T THINK THAT'LL BE A PROBLEM, MISS TAYLOR.

I CAN GO MORE ORIENTAL, IF THAT'LL HELP.

HE CAN DO ANYTHING.

YOU'RE PHI BETA KAPPA, AREN'T YOU, JACK?

WELL, YEAH.

OH, WELL, THEN, EVERYTHING WILL BE ALL RIGHT.

FINE. NOW, WHERE DO I START?

THOSE CHINESE PRINTS-- START HANGING THOSE.

OKAY.

MISS TAYLOR,

YOU'RE BRINGING A BREATH OF CHINA TO MAYBERRY!

OH, THANK YOU.

OH, CHARLIE, DO YOU THINK

WE'LL BE READY TO OPEN TOMORROW NIGHT?

NO PROBLEMS.

DO YOU THINK WE'RE GOING TO BE SUCCESSFUL?

YOU FOUND A PENNY, DIDN'T YOU?

YES, I DID.

WELL, NO BETTER GUARANTEE THAN THAT.

I'M GOING TO FRAME IT

AND PUT IT BY THE CASH REGISTER.

GOOD. THEN WE DON'T TAKE ANY CHANCES.

GOOD EVENING!

OH, I'M SO GLAD YOU COULD COME FOR THE OPENING.

WOULD YOU FOLLOW THIS WAY?

SHERIFF, YOUR AUNT'S GOT A STEADY CUSTOMER.

I DON'T GET MOO GOO GAI PAN LIKE THAT AT HOME.

OH, HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT WAS UNTIL TONIGHT.

BUT I'LL AGREE. IT WAS DELICIOUS.

I'LL TELL HER.

ALL RIGHT.

THIS LOOKS GOOD HERE IN COLUMN...

WAS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT, EMMA?

OH, JUST PERFECT, BEE!

WELL, THAT'LL BE $3.80.

NOT TOO MUCH, IS IT?

OH! FOR WHAT WE ATE?

THAT'S A BARGAIN!

HERE WE GO.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO HAVE, HELEN?

I DON'T KNOW YET.

EVERYTHING LOOKS SO INTRIGUING.

I THINK FOR THE MAIN COURSE, I'M GOING TO HAVE THE CHICKEN.

THAT'S, UH, DOWN HERE.

LING CHI CHI.

OH, THEY LEFT A "CHI" OFF.

YOU'RE REALLY AN EXPERT ON THIS, AIN'T YOU, HOWARD?

WELL...

I THINK I'LL STICK WITH THE CHOW MEIN DINNER.

THE $1.65 OR THE $1.95?

OH, I'M GOING ALL OUT. HUH, HELEN?

ME, TOO.

FINE.

ARE YOU READY TO ORDER?

YEAH. UH, JACK, ISN'T IT?

RIGHT.

WE'LL HAVE TWO OF THE $1.95 CHOW MEIN DINNERS.

AND HOWARD, YOU SAID YOU WANTED THE CHICKEN?

RIGHT. OH, AND, UH...

WHAT'S THIS UP HERE AT THE TOP?

I CAN'T QUITE MAKE IT OUT.

OH, THAT'S DAOFA TON.

IT'S A KIND OF A CHINESE MATZO BALL SOUP.

OH. WELL, I'LL HAVE SOME OF THAT, TOO.

YOU'RE ON, GOOB.

I'LL HAVE THE $1.65 CHOW MEIN DINNER.

I'M BUYING.

$1.95.

I'LL PUT YOUR ORDER IN.

WELL, THE PLACE SURE IS JUMPING, ISN'T IT?

MM-HMM. IF THIS IS ANY INDICATION

I'M SURE IT'S GOING TO BE A SUCCESS.

AUNT BEE CERTAINLY HAS FIXED IT UP ATTRACTIVELY

WITH ALL THE LANTERNS AND SCREENS AND EVERYTHING.

YEAH, IF YOU DIDN'T KNOW WHERE YOU WERE

YOU'D THINK YOU WAS RIGHT IN THE HEART OF TOKYO.

OR NEAR THERE, ANYWAY.

YEAH.

WELL, DID JACK GET YOUR ORDER?

OH, YES. WE WERE JUST SAYING

IT LOOKS LIKE YOU GOT A WINNER HERE.

I GOT TO ADMIT I WAS WRONG.

THEY'RE VERY ENTHUSIASTIC ABOUT THE FOOD.

CHARLIE'S DOING A WONDERFUL JOB IN THE KITCHEN.

AUNT BEE, CAN'T YOU SIT DOWN FOR A MINUTE?

YOU'RE GOING TO BE EXHAUSTED.

OH, NOTHING OF THE SORT.

YOU JUST ENJOY YOUR MEAL.

HEY, DO WE GET THEM FORTUNE COOKIES, TOO?

OH, YEAH, WITH DESSERT.

I'M ANXIOUS TO SEE WHAT MINE IS.

MAYBE IT'LL SAY I'M GOING TO BE A MILLIONAIRE.

THEY HAVE VERY INTERESTING PROGNOSTICATIONS

IN THOSE THINGS.

I GET A BIG BANG OUT OF 'EM.

WELL, I KNOW WHAT AUNT BEE'S IS GOING TO SAY.

"YOU'RE GONNA HAVE A SUCCESSFUL RESTAURANT." HUH?

YEAH. SHE GOT A GOOD ONE.

YOU MEAN YOU TOOK IN OVER $80?!

THAT'S RIGHT.

THAT'S MIRACULOUS.

OF COURSE, THIS IS OPENING NIGHT.

I DON'T EXPECT IT'LL ALWAYS COME UP TO THAT.

MAYBE NOT, BUT YOU'RE OFF TO A FINE START.

IF IT ONLY KEEPS UP.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

YOU DO HALF THIS MUCH BUSINESS

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WEEK

AND THEN IN THE WEEKEND,

YOU'LL MAKE A FORTUNE.

Howard: IT'S JUST MARVELOUS.

ANYONE GET DESSERT?

GOLLY! I FORGOT!

I WAS SO BUSY RUSHING AROUND.

OH, JACK, YOU WERE JUST WONDERFUL.

THANK YOU.

SIT DOWN, CHARLIE.

YOU KIDDING, MAN?

I STILL GOT THINGS TO DO IN THE KITCHEN.

EVERYBODY TAKE A FORTUNE COOKIE.

THERE WE ARE.

WHAT IS IT, GOOB?

"YOU ARE GOING TO MEET A TALL, HANDSOME STRANGER."

SURE YOU ARE!

OH, ME NEXT.

BETTER NOT BE ANY TALL, HANDSOME STRANGERS.

"SPEND THE DAY WITH GOOD FRIENDS."

OH! WELL, YOU DID THAT.

MINE SAYS, UH...

"BE CONSIDERATE OF OTHERS.

IT WILL RETURN MANYFOLD."

HEY, THAT'S DARN GOOD ADVICE, YOU KNOW.

YEAH, IT IS.

"TRY TO AVOID TEMPTATION IN THE COMING WEEK."

OKAY, I'LL TRY.

YEAH, YOU DO THAT, ANDY.

THESE THINGS VERY OFTEN HAVE A WAY OF COMING TRUE.

AUNT BEE, YOU HAVEN'T OPENED YOURS YET.

OH. OH, YES.

Andy: WHAT DOES IT SAY?

NOTHING.

NOTHING. IT...

IT'S JUST SILLY.

Goober: YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO READ 'EM OUT.

WOULD YOU PARDON ME?

I HAVE SO MANY THINGS TO DO.

I THOUGHT I HEARD SOMEBODY DOWN HERE.

I WAS JUST A LITTLE RESTLESS.

ABOUT WHAT?

OH, THE EXCITEMENT, I GUESS.

YOU DON'T SEEM VERY HAPPY ABOUT IT.

OH...

"BEWARE OF NEW BUSINESS VENTURES.

THEY CAN PROVE COSTLY."

THAT'S IT.

I JUST HAD IT IN MY POCKET.

YOU DON'T BELIEVE IN THESE THINGS, DO YOU?

OH, I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT IT.

IT'S VERY... AMUSING.

IT I BOTHERING YOU.

WELL, NOT REALLY.

IT'S JUST THE CHINESE ARE VERY INTELLIGENT PEOPLE.

CONFUCIUS DIDN'T WRITE THIS THING.

THE MAN THAT MAKES THE FORTUNE COOKIES

PROBABLY HAS A BROTHER-IN-LAW THAT WROTE IT.

I KNOW, BUT SOMETIMES THOSE THINGS COME TRUE.

EVEN HOWARD SAID SO.

I SUPPOSE YOU THINK GOOBER'S GOING TO MEET

A TALL, HANDSOME STRANGER.

WELL, IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE

WHETHER HE DOES OR HE DOESN'T.

HE DOESN'T HAVE $400 INVESTED.

NOW, AUNT BEE, I WANT YOU TO PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER

AND FORGET ABOUT THIS.

OH, ANDY, THAT'S AN AWFUL LOT OF MONEY

AND IT SAYS, "BEWARE OF NEW BUSINESS VENTURES."

I KNOW. I KNOW.

OH, DEAR. SOMETHING'S GOING TO GO WRONG

AND I'M GOING TO LOSE MY MONEY.

I CAN JUST FEEL IT.

WELL, WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG?

WELL, THEY MIGHT GET TIRED OF THE FOOD

OR WE MIGHT BE ROBBED OR... AN EXPLOSION.

HOW DO I KNOW WHAT COULD GO WRONG?

I WANT TO POINT SOMETHING OUT TO YOU.

THIS WHOLE RESTAURANT BUSINESS CAME ABOUT

BECAUSE OF YOUR SUPERSTITIONS.

OH, THAT'S NOT TRUE.

IT'S NOT? WELL, YOU WENT INTO IT BECAUSE OF A PENNY

AND NOW YOU'RE ALL SHOOK UP ABOUT IT

BECAUSE OF SOMETHING YOU SAW IN A FORTUNE COOKIE.

DOESN'T THAT PROVE SOMETHING TO YOU?

YES. IT PROVES THAT YOU CAN'T TRUST A LUCKY PENNY.

I BELIEVE I'LL HAVE SUPPER THERE AGAIN SATURDAY NIGHT.

I'M TAKING MOTHER FRIDAY.

SHE'LL ENJOY THAT.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GOING TO TRY NEXT TIME?

WHAT?

THAT FRIED RICE.

A COUPLE PLATES OF THAT PASSED OUR TABLE

AND IT LOOKED REAL GOOD.

THE CHINESE DEFINITELY HAVE A FLAIR WITH RICE.

YOU KNOW, OVER THERE

IT'S ALMOST LIKE THE STAFF OF LIFE.

THE WHAT?

THE STAFF OF LIFE.

THEY USE RICE LIKE WE USE BREAD.

THEY DO?

YEAH.

YOU MEAN, WHEN THEY MAKE SANDWICHES, THEY...?

OH, NO. NO.

I MEAN THEY USE A LOT OF IT.

OH.

DID YOU KNOW THE ANNUAL PER CAPITA

CONSUMPTION OF FISH IN CHINA...

HEY, HEY, HOWARD.

TALL AND HANDSOME.

HEY.

I GUESS SHE WASN'T THE ONE.

HI, ANDY.

HI.

WHAT'S GOING ON, GOOB?

WELL, THE FORTUNE COOKIE SAID THAT...

OH. TALL, HANDSOME STRANGER.

YEAH.

YOU WANT TO TRY TO CONTROL YOURSELF?

RIGHT.

HEY, ANDY, I GUESS AUNT BEE'S STILL UP IN THE CLOUDS, HUH?

YEAH. YOU MIGHT SAY THAT.

WHAT'S WRONG?

WELL, SUPERSTITIOUS WOMEN SHOULDN'T BE IN BUSINESS.

SHOULDN'T BE.

I THINK WE POSSIBLY OUGHT TO ADD

MORE SEASONING TO THE CHOW MEIN.

BUT MISS TAYLOR, EVERYBODY LIKED IT.

I KNOW, BUT THERE'S ALWAYS ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT.

HOW CAN I IMPROVE WHAT IS PERFECT?

YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?

I THINK WE SHOULD BROADEN OUR MENU

TO INCLUDE STEAKS AND CHOPS AND MAYBE SPAGHETTI.

SPAGHETTI?

OH, YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING.

WELL, IT MIGHT ATTRACT MORE CUSTOMERS.

BUT WE DO FINE NOW.

OH, NOW, YES

BUT WHO KNOWS ABOUT TOMORROW AND THE NEXT DAY?

A NEW BUSINESS VENTURE CAN BE VERY DANGEROUS

AND, YOU KNOW, CHARLIE, I'VE INVESTED $400.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

LAST NIGHT EVERYTHING WAS PEACHES AND CREAM.

NOW WE'RE READY TO FILE BANKRUPTCY.

WHAT HAPPENED?

NOTHING. NOTHING.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I WAS CONSIDERING?

LOWERING PRICES

IN ORDER TO MAKE CERTAIN

OF CONTINUING BUSINESS.

I'M NOT AT ALL SURE

THESE DECORATIONS ARE RIGHT.

WE MIGHT HAVE TO GET BIGGER LANTERNS.

THAT'S THE WAY SHE'S BEEN

EVER SINCE SHE READ THAT FORTUNE COOKIE.

WELL, AT LEAST THAT EXPLAINS IT.

FORTUNE COOKIE.

AY-YAH! THIS COULD ONLY HAPPEN IN AMERICA.

DON'T FORGET, CHARLIE. WE STARTED ALL THAT.

SURE, WE STARTED WITH PAPER DRAGONS, TOO,

BUT COME ON.

WELL, I'M SORRY.

LOOK, I GOT TO LAY IT ON THE LINE, ANDY.

WITH THE KIND OF CHANGES MISS TAYLOR IS TALKING ABOUT

WE'LL BE OUT OF BUSINESS IN TWO WEEKS.

THE WHOLE BIT, RIGHT DOWN THE DRAIN.

THAT BAD, HUH?

SHE'LL LOSE HER MONEY, AND IT'S PITTSBURGH FOR ME.

ANDY, CAN'T YOU CONVINCE HER THAT EVERYTHING IS FINE--

THAT SUPERSTITION HAS NO PLACE IN BUSINESS?

I TRIED AND I GOT NOWHERE.

HEY, WHAT ABOUT YOU?

MY NEPHEW, THE PSYCHOLOGIST.

OH, NO, NO...

PHI BETA KAPPA.

SHE MIGHT LISTEN TO YOU, JACK.

YEAH. YOU GOT TO PAY ATTENTION

TO A FELLOW WHO WEARS A TIE LIKE THAT.

SUPERSTITION IS A PART OF PSYCHOLOGY, ISN'T IT?

VERY DEFINITELY.

WELL?

AND PSYCHOLOGY IS THE...

EXPERIMENTAL AND QUANTITATIVE STUDY OF HUMAN NATURE.

IT'S A BIOSOCIAL SCIENCE.

YEAH.

I THINK WE HAVE A WINNER HERE.

YEAH.

YEAH.

AY-YAH...

YOU SEE, MISS TAYLOR, WHAT I'M TRYING TO POINT OUT

IS THAT PSYCHOLOGY ACTUALLY DOES RECOGNIZE

THE EXISTENCE OF SUPERSTITIONS,

FETISHES AND THE LIKE

BUT THERE IS NO TESTAMENTARY EVIDENCE

THAT THEY IN ANY WAY AFFECT THE NORMAL FLOW

OF EVENTS.

THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU.

YES, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN--

THAT PENNIES AND FORTUNE COOKIES DON'T MEAN ANYTHING.

EXACTLY.

EXACTLY.

AND PUTTING IT IN LAYMAN'S TERMS:

MAN'S INTERACTION WITH ENVIRONMENTAL CONDITIONS

AS THEY BECOME MORE COMPLEX

FURNISH THE FUNDAMENTALS OF PSYCHOLOGICAL INQUIRY.

SEE? NOW, THAT-THAT'S HITTING THE-THE NAIL RIGHT ON THE HEAD.

OH, JACK, I'M SURE EVERYTHING YOU'RE SAYING IS TRUE,

BUT I JUST CAN'T CONTROL MYSELF.

WELL, OF COURSE. OF COURSE.

THAT'S A SYNDROME

THAT TAKES A GREAT DEAL OF THERAPY TO COPE WITH.

YOU-YOU JUST HAVE TO REALIZE THAT.

WELL, I CAN'T COPE WITH ANYTHING.

MISS TAYLOR, IF YOU'LL TAKE MY ADVICE,

YOU'LL GET OUT OF THE BUSINESS.

YOU'RE REALLY NOT SUITED FOR IT... PSYCHOLOGICALLY.

I'VE GOT $400 INVESTED.

WHY DON'T YOU SELL IT?

WHO'LL BUY IT?

I WILL.

NO, YOU WON'T.

THEN I'LL START WORRYING ABOUT YOU.

WHAT ABOUT YOU, JACK?

OH, NO, NO, ANDY. I DECIDED A LONG TIME AGO

AGAINST GOING INTO BUSINESS.

WELL... THANKS FOR COMING OVER, ANYWAY.

THAT'S OKAY.

I'LL LET MYSELF OUT.

NOW, YOU-YOU'VE GOT TO CONTROL YOURSELF.

( sobbing and moaning )

STILL HAVEN'T FOUND ANYBODY TO BUY HER OUT, HUH, ANDY?

NO. NOT YET.

I'D BUY HER OUT IF I HAD THE MONEY.

THEN I COULD EAT THERE FREE EVERY NIGHT.

YEAH.

HEY, I'M GOING TO HAVE FRIED RICE SATURDAY NIGHT.

GOOD. GOOD.

HELLO?

YEAH, CHARLIE.

NO KIDDING?

WELL... YEAH. GREAT.

I'LL GET AUNT BEE AND COME RIGHT OVER.

RIGHT. BYE.

I GOT TO GO.

I MIGHT EVEN TRY THE SHRIMP.

HELLO, CHARLIE.

HEY, CHARLIE... SO YOU FOUND A BUYER, HUH?

RIGHT.

WONDERFUL. WHO?

UH, BIG SURPRISE.

JACK HERE GOING TO BUY YOU OUT.

YOU, JACK?

THAT'S RIGHT.

JACK AND CHARLIE GOING TO GET RICH TOGETHER.

WELL, THIS IS A SURPRISE.

IT SURE IS.

YESTERDAY YOU SAID YOU WEREN'T INTERESTED.

YES, BUT I SORT OF MULLED IT OVER

AND IT JUST SEEMED LIKE A LOGICAL THING TO DO.

MADE A LOT OF SENSE.

IT SEEMED LOGICAL TO ME YESTERDAY.

HERE'S YOUR CHECK, MISS TAYLOR.

$400.

THANK YOU, JACK

AND I KNOW WITH YOU AS A PARTNER, IT'S GOING TO BE A SUCCESS.

COMING, ANDY?

UH, I'LL MEET YOU AT THE HOUSE.

"THIS IS YOUR LUCKY DAY."

WELL... WHY FIGHT IT?

MY, THAT WAS A DELICIOUS LUNCH.

WASN'T IT, THOUGH?

HOW DOES IT FEEL, TO BE A GUEST,

INSTEAD OF AN OWNER, AUNT BEE?

MUCH MORE RELAXING.

I'M GLAD TO SEE THE PLACE IS DOING SO WELL.

YES. JACK SEEMS HAPPY.

I'M GLAD HIS BETTER JUDGMENT

CONVINCED HIM TO INVEST.

WELL, WHAT A RELIEF IT IS, FOR ME TO SIT HERE

AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT HOW THINGS ARE GOING.

HMM.

IS EVERYBODY HAPPY?

YES.

I'LL GET YOUR DESSERT AND FORTUNE COOKIES.

NO, NOT FOR ME.

NO DESSERT?

NO FORTUNE COOKIES. JUST ICE CREAM.