Original subtitles

WATER'S RIGHT UP TO THE TOP.

Andy: OH.

GOOD -- HOW ABOUT CHECKIN' THE OIL?

SURE THING, ANDY, WHAT WEIGHT?

WHAT?

WHAT WEIGHT OF OIL DO YOU WANT?

I DON'T CARE. ANY WEIGHT.

WELL, IT CAN'T JUST BE ANY WEIGHT.

PUTTING THE PROPER WEIGHT OF OIL IN THE CAR

IS PROBABLY ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS

IN CAR MAINTENANCE. WELL.

FOR INSTANCE, IF YOU PLAN TO GO

TO THE MOUNTAINS IN COAL COUNTRY,

YOU'D NEED A LIGHT OIL -- SAY, A 10 OR A 20.

BUT IF YOU PLAN TO DO SOME DESERT DRIVIN',

WHERE IT'S HOT, YOU'D NEED A HEAVY OIL.

WELL, I'M NOT --

IF YOU'VE GOT AN OLD CAR, LIKE OVER 50,000 MILES,

YOU'D NEED A HEAVY OIL, TOO, MAYBE A 40 --

KEEPS IT FROM COMING UP THROUGH THE OIL RINGS.

ANDY? WHAT?

YOU DON'T NEED ANY OIL.

OH, GOOD.

UH, HOW 'BOUT CHECKING THE STEERING, GOOB?

THERE'S A LITTLE PLAY IN THE WHEEL THERE.

I'LL GET RIGHT ON IT.

YOU KNOW, THE STEERING IN A CAR IS PROBABLY

ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS IN CAR MAINTENANCE.

YEAH.

IF YOU PUT GREASE IN THE BALL JOINTS...

JUST CHECK IT AND SEE ABOUT THE PLAY, GOOB.

WELL, IT SEEMS TO ME THAT...

YOU ALL RIGHT, GOOBER?

OH, GOSH, I'M SO SORRY. IS HE ALL RIGHT?

I DON'T KNOW. YOU ALL RIGHT, GOOBER?

WELL, WHAT... WHAT'S WRONG?

I "SWALLERED" MY CHEWING GUM.

ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

I JUST GOT A LITTLE CRICK IN MY BACK.

I MEAN, IT DON'T HURT OR NOTHING.

OH, I'M SO SORRY.

I NEVER HAD

AN ACCIDENT IN MY LIFE.

I WAS JUST LEANING OVER TO TURN OFF THE RADIO...

I JUST LOOKED AWAY FOR JUST A SECOND.

LISTEN, I WANT YOU TO TAKE THIS.

OH, I COULDN'T TAKE NOTHING.

OH, NO, I INSIST.

NO, I COULDN'T TAKE ANYTHING.

MY INSURANCE MAN'S CARD. GET IN TOUCH WITH HIM.

I DON'T NEED NO INSURANCE.

SHE'S NOT SELLING INSURANCE.

SHE GAVE YOU THAT SO YOU CAN CALL HER INSURANCE MAN

IF YOU NEED TO.

I JUST GOT A LITTLE CRICK IN MY BACK.

I MEAN, IT'LL SOAK RIGHT OUT IN A HOT TUB BATH.

SHERIFF, I... I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

WELL...

DOESN'T SEEM TO BE ANY DAMAGE TO THE CARS.

MAYBE IF YOU'VE LEARNED YOUR LESSON

SOMETHING GOOD WILL COME OF IT.

BELIEVE ME, I'VE LEARNED MY LESSON.

ANDY, WOULD YOU MIND MOVING YOUR CAR

SO I CAN HELP THIS NICE LADY OUT?

I JUST WANT SOME GAS, PLEASE.

AND WOULD YOU CHECK MY WINDSHIELD WIPERS? I'D BE GLAD TO.

THE WIPERS IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT THINGS

IN CAR MAINTENANCE.

A WOMAN COME IN THE OTHER DAY

AND SAID, "GOOBER, WOULD YOU CHECK MY WINDSHIELD WIPERS?"

AND I SAID...

HEY, FLOYD.

OH, HELLO, GOOBER.

HAIRCUT?

NO, THANKS.

THEY GOT SOME PICTURES OF THE NEW STYLES HERE.

MAKE YOU LOOK LIKE TONY CURTIS.

NO, THANKS.

I COME OVER TO BORROW SOME MERCUROCHROME.

I'M FRESH OUT.

IT'S ON THE SHELF, RIGHT OVER THERE.

NEXT TO THE BAY RUM.

THANKS.

WHAT DO YOU WANT IT FOR?

I GOT A LITTLE SCRATCH OVER AT WORK.

OH?

I WAS SITTING IN ANDY'S CAR, CHECKING HIS STEERING.

THIS WOMAN DROVE IN, BANGED INTO THE BACK BUMPER.

GIVE ME KIND OF A JOLT. DID IT HURT?

JUST GIVE ME A LITTLE CRICK IN THE BACK.

CRICK, HUH?

UH-HUH. NOTHING, REALLY.

THAT'S JUST WHAT JOHNNY HARRIS SAID.

REST HIS SOUL.

JOHNNY HARRIS?

OH, YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY, THOUGH.

MIGHT NOT BE THE SAME KIND OF INJURY JOHNNY HAD.

EVEN THOUGH IT WAS THE SAME KIND OF AN ACCIDENT.

HE SAID HE HAD A CRICK, TOO.

THEN HE STARTED GETTING TWINGES.

SAME KIND OF ACCIDENT?

YEAH. STRUCK FROM BEHIND.

IT CAUSED WHIPLASH.

OH, IT WAS TRICKY. IT WAS VERY DANGEROUS.

OH, POOR JOHNNY.

YOU KNOW ABOUT WHIPLASH?

OF COURSE I DO.

A BARBER DOES A LOT OF WORK AROUND THE NECK, YOU KNOW.

AND THE WHOLE NECK IS TIED RIGHT INTO THE BACK.

THAT'S A MEDICAL FACT.

HEY... THAT'S RIGHT.

I CAN SHOW IT TO YOU RIGHT ON THE CHART.

FLOYD, CAN YOU TELL IF I'VE GOT WHIPLASH?

WELL...

THERE IS A TEST.

GIVE ME THE TEST, FLOYD. GIVE ME THE TEST.

ALL RIGHT.

YOU PUT YOUR FISTS

TIGHT AGAINST YOUR CHEST.

ALL RIGHT. NOW, THEN YOU RAISE YOUR ELBOWS UP.

LIKE THAT, SEE?

NO, NO. NO, DON'T MOVE YOUR HANDS.

JUST GET THE ELBOWS UP.

GET THOSE ELBOWS UP!

TRY TO MAKE THEM TOUCH OVER YOUR HEAD.

I CAN'T DO IT, FLOYD.

I CAN'T GET 'EM NO HIGHER THAN THIS.

OH! IT'S JOHNNY HARRIS ALL OVER AGAIN.

THEY HAD TO BURY HIM IN AN EXTRA WIDE COFFIN

'CAUSE THEY COULDN'T GET HIS ARMS DOWN.

OH, MY GOSH.

BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, YOU MIGHT NOT BE ABLE

TO RAISE YOUR ARMS ABOVE YOUR HEAD.

AM I GONNA DIE, FLOYD?

WHATEVER GAVE YOU THAT IDEA?

YOU JUST TAKE A LESSON FROM JOHNNY HARRIS

AND KEEP AN EYE ON THAT INJURY.

AND WATCH OUT

FOR HARDENING OF THE BACK.

YEAH.

WE WOULDN'T WANT TO LOSE YOU, BOY.

WELL, I'LL SEE YOU, FLOYD.

I'M GONNA STAY IN THAT HOT TUB ALL NIGHT LONG.

YESSIR, I'M GONNA BE CAREFUL.

GOTTA WATCH THEM TWINGES.

THANKS, FLOYD.

I'M HAPPY TO BE OF HELP.

CAN I HONK THE HORN FOR GOOBER?

NO, DEAR. I DON'T WANT TO STARTLE HIM.

REMEMBER WHAT FLOYD SAID ABOUT HIS BACK INJURY.

GEE, YOU MEAN GOOBER'S REALLY SICK?

WELL, I DON'T THINK "SICK" IS THE RIGHT WORD, OPIE,

BUT A BACK CAN BE A VERY DELICATE THING.

: GOOBER!

GOOBER!

HEY, AUNT BEE. OPE.

HEY, GOOBER.

GEE.

HELLO, GOOBER.

IS YOUR BACK CAUSING YOU PAIN?

HUH?

WE JUST SAW FLOYD AT THE MARKET

AND HE TOLD US ABOUT YOUR ACCIDENT.

OH, I JUST GOT A LITTLE CRICK IN MY BACK.

I MEAN, I'M NOT GONNA DIE OR NOTHING.

OH, NO, OF COURSE NOT.

WE JUST STOPPED BY TO SEE HOW YOU'RE FEELING.

ESPECIALLY AFTER WHAT HAPPENED TO WILLIS CUNDIFF LAST SUMMER.

WHAT HAPPENED TO WILLIS CUNDIFF?

OH, NOTHING, NOTHING.

HE'S STILL UP AT THE MT. PILOT HOSPITAL.

HOSPITAL?

IN TRACTION.

HIS CONDITION HASN'T CHANGED IN MONTHS.

OH... OH!

YOU WANT GAS?

HMM? OH, YES. YES.

A DOLLAR'S WORTH OF SUPER, PLEASE.

GEE, HE'S WALKING FUNNY.

YOU SEE THE WAY HE'S TWITCHING?

GOOBER...

GOOBER, I DIDN'T MEAN TO WORRY YOU ABOUT WILLIS CUNDIFF.

IT AIN'T WILLIS CUNDIFF I'M WORRIED ABOUT.

IT WAS JUST THAT HIS CAR WAS HIT FROM BEHIND, TOO.

BUT IT WAS ENTIRELY DIFFERENT. UH-HUH.

HE WAS HIT BY

ONE OF THOSE LITTLE SPORTS CARS.

SOMETHING ABOUT THE HEIGHT OF THE BUMPER.

IT CAUSES A TERRIFIC JOLT.

BUT THEN WILLIS WENT RIGHT ON WORKING, IGNORING HIS SYMPTOMS

AND HE HAD THIS TWINGE.

OH, MERCY.

OH, GOOBER, WHAT IS IT? OPIE!

OPIE, COME QUICK!

I GOT TO GO HOME.

I GOT TO LAY DOWN RIGHT AWAY.

OH! OH!

OPIE, UNHITCH THE HOSE

AND PUT IT BACK IN THE PUMP.

LEAN ON ME, GOOBER.

ME, TOO, GOOBER.

JUST LEAN ON ME, GOOBER. JUST LEAN RIGHT ON ME.

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO, AUNT BEE?

WE'RE GOING TO TAKE HIM HOME.

I'LL JUST GO TO MY PLACE.

NONSENSE. THERE'S NOBODY'S THERE TO TAKE CARE OF YOU.

AND WHAT ARE FRIENDS IF THEY CAN'T BE OF HELP?

NOW, RELAX.

OH, LAND. OH, LAND!

EASY, EASY. LAY BACK, RELAX.

OH!

HI, OPE.

HI, PAW.

WHATCHA DOING?

I'VE GOT TO TAKE THESE COMIC BOOKS UPSTAIRS TO GOOBER.

GOOBER'S UPSTAIRS?

YEAH. IN YOUR BED.

WE DECIDED HE'D BE MORE COMFORTABLE THERE.

WHAT'S HE DOING IN MY BED?

HE'S SICK, PAW.

I GOTTA TAKE THESE UP TO HIM.

OH, ANDY.

AUNT BEE, OPIE SAID GOOBER'S IN MY BED.

YES, THIS IS AN EMERGENCY.

YOU CAN TAKE THE COT IN THE SPARE ROOM.

HE'S NOT WELL, ANDY. NOT WELL AT ALL.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH HIM?

WELL, IT'S A LONG STORY

AND I DON'T WANT THIS TO GET COLD.

I GOT THIS STEAK FOR YOU, ANDY

BUT WE HAVE TO KEEP UP GOOBER'S STRENGTH.

YOU LIKE TUNA FISH, DON'T YOU?

WELL...

WELL, WE'VE GOT TO BE GOOD SAMARITANS

AT A TIME LIKE THIS.

WELL... WELL...

WELL, AUNT... AUNT BEE...

UH...

YEAH, THESE ARE GOOD 'UNS, ALL RIGHT.

THANKS, OPE.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

HERE YOU ARE, GOOBER.

AND IT'S ALL CUT UP FOR YOU.

THANK YOU. OH, HEY ANDY.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

YOU WAS THERE WHEN IT HAPPENED.

WHAT?

WHEN THE LADY'S CAR HIT ME.

BUT YOU SAID YOU WERE FINE.

IT COME ON ME KIND OF SUDDEN-LIKE.

I GOT THESE TWINGES AND CRICKS.

I CAN'T HARDLY GET MY ARMS OVER MY HEAD.

WELL, I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

WELL, ANDY, IT TAKES A WHILE

FOR SYMPTOMS TO SHOW THEMSELVES.

WHY, WHEN OPIE AND I WERE AT THE GAS STATION

HE COULD HARDLY WALK.

WE HAD TO CARRY HIM TO THE CAR.

THE POOR BOY IS HELPLESS.

WELL, DID ANYBODY CALL A DOCTOR?

YES, AND HE'S GOING TO GET HERE AS SOON AS HE CAN.

SAY, GOOBER, MY FRIEND PETE HAS SOME COMIC BOOKS.

THEY'RE NEW ONES. WANT ME TO GET 'EM FOR YOU?

OH, THAT'D BE REAL NICE, OPE.

SEE IF HE'S GOT ANY WITH CRAB MONSTER IN THEM.

HE'S MY NEW FAVORITE.

OKAY.

NOW, COME ON, GOOBER.

EAT YOUR SPINACH.

IT GIVES YOU IRON.

YES'M.

WELL, I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW THIS CAME ON YOU SO SUDDEN.

ME, NEITHER.

I--

I'M SORRY.

GRAVY -- I --

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

ANDY'S GOT PLENTY OF PAJAMAS.

YOU GOT A GOOD HEART, AUNT BEE.

YOU, TOO, ANDY.

YOU'VE BOTH GOT GOOD HEARTS.

WELL.

HOW IS HE, DOCTOR?

HARD TO TELL.

THESE BACK INJURIES DEFY DIAGNOSIS.

ABOUT THE ONLY THING WE CAN DO

IS GO BY WHAT THE PATIENT SAYS HE FEELS.

I'D SAY IT WAS A CLASSIC CASE OF WHIPLASH.

I DEFINITELY GOT IT THEN, HUH?

CAN'T YOU TAKE X

I COULD, BUT IT WOULDN'T TELL US ANYTHING.

THE ONLY THING WE CAN DO IS TO WORK ON THE SYMPTOMS.

THAT'S WHERE YOU CAN HELP, ANDY.

WHAT?

COME OVER HERE.

PUT YOUR HANDS ON HIS SHOULDERS LIKE THAT.

NOW, RUB DOWN AND AROUND.

DOWN AND AROUND.

DOWN AND AROUND. DOWN AND AROUND.

DOCTOR, I CAN DO THAT.

I HAVE A VERY GENTLE TOUCH.

I'M SORRY, BUT THIS TAKES A MAN'S STRENGTH.

YOU'LL HAVE TO REALLY BEAR DOWN, ANDY.

GOOBER NEEDS A DEEP MASSAGE TO GET RESULTS.

ALL RIGHT. GO AHEAD.

DOWN...

DOWN...

THAT FEELS GOOD, ANDY.

I CAN TELL YOU ONE THING...

THIS AIN'T EASY.

WELL, FOR IT TO DO ANY GOOD,

YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP IT UP REGULAR AS CLOCKWORK.

ABOUT 20 MINUTES, FIVE OR SIX TIMES A DAY, EVERY DAY.

WELL, WE'LL MAKE YOU COMFORTABLE, GOOBER.

WE'LL BRING UP THE TELEVISION SET SO YOU WON'T GET BORED.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THAT, AUNT BEE.

WELL, IF WE WANT TO WATCH IT,

WE'LL COME UP AND WATCH IT WITH YOU.

COMPANY.

ANDY, YOU WON'T MIND

BRINGING IT UP, WILL YOU?

NO.

HOW LONG YOU SAY THIS MIGHT GO ON, DOCTOR?

WELL, WITH A WHIPLASH, IT'S HARD TO TELL

BUT I'D SAY HE'D HAVE TO STAY HERE AT LEAST SIX WEEKS.

Aunt Bee: OH, POOR GOOBER.

YEAH.

DOWN... AND AROUND.

DOWN AND AROUND.

DOWN AND AROUND. DOWN AND AROUND.

"IN HIS HIDDEN LABORATORY,

"MARK STEEL, MILD-MANNERED INSTRUCTOR OF HYGIENE

"AT BOYS HIGH SCHOOL,

"DRINKS THE SECRET FORMULA

"WHICH TRANSFORMS HIM INTO CRAB MONSTER,

ENEMY OF CRIME."

YEAH, BOY, SOON AS HE TURNS INTO CRAB MONSTER

HE'S REALLY GONNA WRECK THAT EVIL PROFESSOR SCALAR.

SHOOT, HE COULD HANDLE HIM WITH ONE CLAW.

THEN WHAT HAPPENS?

"BUT UNBEKNOWNST TO MARK STEEL

"HIS TRANSFORMATION HAS BEEN OBSERVED

BY THE EVIL PROFESSOR SCALAR."

YOU SEE, WHAT'S HAPPENING IS

THE PROFESSOR IS HIDING BEHIND A BUNCHA TEST TUBES.

YOU MEAN HE WAS WATCHING

HOW HE DRINKS THE SECRET FORMULA?

WHY, THAT'S TERRIBLE.

THAT EVIL PROFESSOR SCALAR

IS GONNA DRINK THE SECRET FORMULA

AND TURN INTO CRAB MONSTER HIMSELF.

THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS IN THE NEXT PICTURE.

SEE, WHAT'D I TELL YOU?

IMAGINE, MARK STEEL IS A HYGIENE INSTRUCTOR

AND HE'S NOT SMART ENOUGH TO LOOK AROUND

FOR EVIL PROFESSORS WATCHING HIM.

IT'S ONLY A STORY, GOOB.

I GOT TO FRESHEN UP GOOBER, OPE.

OKAY, PAW. I'LL FINISH IT LATER.

NOW, DON'T LOSE THE PLACE.

I WON'T.

ANDY, I COULD REALLY DO THIS MYSELF.

AUNT BEE DON'T WANT YOU TO STRAIN YOURSELF.

YOU GOT A GOOD HEART, ANDY.

THANKS. CLOSE.

OH, THAT FEELS REAL GOOD.

GOOD.

I JUST CAN'T TELL YOU HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE THIS.

WELL...

IF AUNT BEE AND OPIE HADN'T TAKEN ME IN

I'D BE A GONER BY NOW

JUST LAYIN' IN MY ROOM, ALL ALONE, HARDENIN' TO DEATH.

FEELIN' ANY BETTER NOW?

I'M NOT MUCH BETTER.

I GUESS I'M JUST HOLDIN' MY OWN.

I RECKON IT'LL BE A SIX WEEKS DEAL

LIKE THE DOCTOR SAID.

AH... MASSAGE TIME.

THAT'S RIGHT, ANDY, DOWN AND AROUND.

DOWN AND AROUND, AND AFTER MASSAGE, LUNCH.

THANK YOU.

NICE MEAT LOAF SANDWICH.

MMM, MEAT LOAF SANDWICH WITH KETCHUP ON IT.

OH, GOODNESS, I FORGOT THE KETCHUP.

ANDY, AFTER THE MASSAGE

WOULD YOU RUN DOWN AND GET IT?

: BE HAPPY TO.

THAT'S IT, DOWN AND AROUND...

DOWN AND AROUND. DOWN AND AROUND.

HELLO, FLOYD.

OH, HI, ANDY.

HAIRCUT?

NO. NO-NO-NO-NO, I JUST WANT TO SIT HERE AWHILE.

YEAH, WELL, GO AHEAD, RELAX.

BY THE WAY...

HOW'S GOOBER?

OH, I DON'T KNOW, FLOYD.

WELL, I SHOULD GET OVER TO SEE GOOBER

BUT MY WORK... YOU KNOW, BUSY, BUSY, BUSY.

YEAH, YOU SHOULD GET OVER, FLOYD.

GOOBER WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOU.

I'LL BET HE WOULD.

I'M THE ONE WHO SAVED HIS LIFE, YOU KNOW.

"SAVED HIS LIFE"?

YEAH.

HOW'D YOU SAVE HIS LIFE, FLOYD?

GOOBER CAME INTO THE SHOP AFTER THE ACCIDENT...

YEAH?

AND HE-HE WAS JUST WALKING AROUND

LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED.

YOU MEAN HE WASN'T HUNCHED UP NOR NOTHIN'?

OH, NO, NO, JUST LIKE NOTHING

NEVER REALIZING THAT HE WAS A SICK MAN

BUT I SET HIM STRAIGHT ON THAT IN A HURRY.

HOW'D YOU SET HIM STRAIGHT, FLOYD?

I LET HIM KNOW THAT HE HAD THE SAME KIND OF AN ACCIDENT

AS JOHNNY HARRIS...

OH, REST HIS SOUL.

FLOYD, JOHNNY HARRIS WAS KICKED IN THE HEAD BY A MULE.

NOW, HOW IS THAT

THE SAME KINDA ACCIDENT AS GOOBER'S?

WELL, THERE ARE SIMILARITIES, ANDY.

AFTER ALL, BOTH JOHNNY AND GOOBER

WERE STRUCK FROM BEHIND

AND JOHNNY DIDN'T REALIZE HE WAS HURT, EITHER.

WHEN THAT MULE KICKED HIM IN THE HEAD

HE DIDN'T REALIZE NOTHIN'.

WHAT DID GOOBER DO

WHEN YOU TOLD HIM ABOUT JOHNNY AND EVERYTHING?

WELL, HE CAME TO HIS SENSES.

HE WALKED OUT OF HERE, REALIZING HE WAS A SICK MAN.

WHEN HE WALKED IN, HE WAS FINE

AND WHEN HE WALKED OUT, HE WAS SICK, IS THAT IT?

EXACTLY...

AND I GOT GOOBER JUST IN TIME.

HE MIGHTA GONE ON FOR YEARS, NOT KNOWING HIS CONDITION.

NOW, YOU... B...

YOU-YOU RAN INTO FLOYD AT THE MARKET

AND HE TOLD YOU ABOUT GOOBER'S ACCIDENT.

YES, AND AS SOON AS I HEARD

OPIE AND I WENT RIGHT OVER TO THE GAS STATION

TO SEE IF WE COULD BE OF ANY HELP.

ANDY, WOULD YOU GET THOSE PAPER NAPKINS OUT?

WELL... AN-AND- AND-AND THIS...

YES, THANK YOU.

YES, I WAS VERY CONCERNED ABOUT GOOBER

PARTICULARLY SINCE WHAT HAPPENED TO WILLIS CUNDIFF

AFTER HIS ACCIDENT.

AUNT BEE, WILLIS CUNDIFF IS 91 YEARS OLD.

NOW, AN ACCIDENT'S GONNA EFFECT HIM A LOT DIFFERENT

THAN A YOUNG FELLA LIKE GOOBER.

ANDY, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

WILLIS TRIED TO KEEP ON WORKING AFTER HIS ACCIDENT

JUST LIKE POOR GOOBER.

WHAT DID I DO WITH THE BERRIES?

UH... UH, HERE.

WHEN YOU GOT TO THE GAS STATION, HE WAS WORKING?

YES, CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT?

AND, THEN, YOU TOLD HIM HOW SICK HE WAS.

YES, OF COURSE.

OPIE AND I HAD TO PRACTICALLY CARRY HIM TO THE CAR.

WHEN YOU GOT THERE, HE WAS WORKIN'

AND AFTER YOU GOT THROUGH TALKIN' WITH HIM

YOU HAD TO CARRY HIM.

WELL, THAT'S EXACTLY HOW IT WAS

AND NOW POOR GOOBER CAN'T RAISE HIS ARMS

OVER HIS HEAD.

IT'S A GOOD THING WE CAUGHT IT IN TIME.

HE WOULDN'T BE ABLE

TO USE HIS ARMS AT ALL.

I THINK I'LL JUST HAVE A LITTLE TALK WITH GOOBER.

OH.

OH, I'M SORRY, GOOB.

I DIDN'T, UH, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WERE ASLEEP.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT, ANDY.

I WAS JUST TAKIN' A LITTLE CATNAP.

UH ANY BETTER?

OH, SO-SO.

UH-HUH, STILL CAN'T GET

YOUR ARMS UP OVER YOUR HEAD?

GOSH, NO, CAN'T GET 'EM NO HIGHER THAN THIS

AND THEN IT'S A REAL STRAIN, KINDA PAINFUL.

UH-HUH.

UH...

HEY, GOOB, UH, DID YOU EVER HEAR

OF, UH, OF, UH, WHAT THEY CALL A, UH...

PSYCHOSOMATIC ILLNESS?

PSYCHO WHAT?

PSYCHOSOMATIC.

NO, BUT IF IT'S ONE OF THEM KID DISEASES

I PROBABLY DONE HAD IT.

MAMA SAID I HAD EVERYTHING.

NO, I'M NOT TALKIN' ABOUT THAT.

THIS IS SOMETHIN' ELSE ALTOGETHER

AND I DON'T KNOW TOO MUCH ABOUT IT MYSELF

BUT I DO KNOW IT'S WHEN A PERSON IS SICK, YOU KNOW

ONLY THEY'RE NOT REAL SICK.

THEY JUST THINK THEY'RE SICK.

JUST THINK THEY'RE SICK?

YEAH.

NOW, GOOB, YOU 'MEMBER WHEN YOU FIRST GOT BUMPED

I WAS STANDIN' RIGHT THERE?

YEAH.

YOU 'MEMBER? YEAH.

AND YOU WERE FEELIN' FINE?

AND THEN YOU GOT TO TALKIN'

WITH FLOYD AND AUNT BEE

AND THEY TOLD YOU

ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE HAVIN' ACCIDENTS

AND THEN YOU KINDA GOT WORRIED AND UPSET.

ANDY, WHAT'RE YOU GETTIN' AT?

I JUST THINK THEY KINDA

SUGGESTED IT TO YOU AND, BEFORE YOU KNEW WHAT HAPPENED

YOU TALKED YOURSELF INTO HAVIN' WHIPLASH.

THAT'S NOT TRUE.

CAN'T NOBODY TALK ME

INTO THINKIN' I'M SICK WHEN I AIN'T.

I GOT WHIPLASH, ANDY. I REALLY DO.

NO, GOOB-GOOB, I-I CAME IN HERE...

NOW, I KNOW YOU THINK YOU'VE GOT WHIPLASH

BUT I CAME IN HERE A WHILE AGO.

YOU WERE SLEEPIN' AND YOU DIDN'T KNOW IT

AND YOU HAD YOUR ARMS WAY UP OVER YOUR HEAD.

I DID NOT.

YES, YOU DID. THEY WERE WAY UP OVER YOUR HEAD.

I DID NOT. I CAN'T GET MY ARMS NO HIGHER THAN THIS.

THAT'S THE WAY IT IS. YOU CAN ASK THE DOCTOR.

BUT THEY WERE WAY UP OVER YOUR HEAD!

WELL, IF THEY WERE

I GUARANTEE YOU I WAS IN AWFUL PAIN!

GOOBER, THEY WERE WAY UP THERE!

I WAS IN PAIN!

PAIN. PAIN. PAIN.

I'M TELLIN' YOU, DR. BENNETT, IT'S ALL IN HIS MIND.

YOU MAY BE RIGHT.

I KNOW I'M RIGHT.

I WATCHED HIM WHILE HE WAS SLEEPIN',

AND HIS ARMS WERE ALL OVER THE PLACE,

AND HE WASN'T HURTIN', EITHER, 'CAUSE HE WAS SMILIN'.

WELL, IT SEEMS, THEN, HE'S ALL RIGHT NOW.

WELL, YES.

I TELL YOU, WHEN HE'S ASLEEP,

HIS MIND ISN'T ON HIS AILMENT.

WELL, I TRIED TO TELL HIM THAT,

BUT HOW CAN I PROVE IT TO HIM?

IT'D BE DIFFICULT.

WELL, I WANT TO SLEEP IN MY OWN BED.

IF YOU COULD FIND SOME WAY TO DISTRACT HIM,

GET HIS MIND OFF OF IT...

CATCH HIM OFF GUARD.

YEAH.

YEAH.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

YEAH.

HI, GOOB.

OH, HEY, ANDY. WANNA PLAY SOME CHECKERS?

NO, I JUST CAME UP TO SEE HOW YOU ARE.

'BOUT THE SAME.

UH-HUH.

WHATCHA DOIN' WITH THAT FOOTBALL?

OH, I WAS JUST THROWIN' IT AROUND WITH OPE.

OH.

YOU USED TO LIKE TO PLAY FOOTBALL.

SURE DID.

AND, AS I RECALL, YOU WERE PRETTY GOOD AT IT.

YEAH, I GUESS I WAS.

CATCH.

I CAN'T!

WITH ME NOT BEIN' ABLE TO LIFT MY ARMS?

ANDY, I DON'T UNDERSTAN... OH. OH.

I SEE WHAT YOU'RE TRYIN' TO DO!

TRYIN' TO TRICK ME INTO RAISIN' MY ARMS.

I TOLD YOU I CAN'T, BUT YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME.

I WOULDN'T BELIEVE YOU'D TRY THAT ON A MAN IN PURE AGONY!

I'M TRYIN' TO SHOW YOU, YOU'RE ALL RIGHT!

Aunt Bee: WHAT'S ALL THIS YELLING?

YOU KNOW WHAT ANDY TRIED TO DO?

WHAT? HE WAS GONNA THROW THAT FOOTBALL.

WHY? TO PROVE I COULD PUT MY ARMS WAY UP LIKE THIS

WHEN HE KNOWS GOOD AND WELL

I CAN'T GET MY ARMS NO HIGHER THAN THIS.

I CAN'T GET 'EM UP HERE!

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE! WHAT?

LOOK WHERE YOUR ARMS ARE. LOOK!

I'M CURED!

IT SEEMS THAT WAY.

ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL!

I'LL BE DOGGONED.

YOU SEE? I TOLD YOU IT WAS ALL IN YOUR HEAD.

Goober: ANDY, YOU SON OF A GUN, YOU CURED ME.

HEY...

CATCH!

ANDY!

ARE YOU OKAY?

I PULLED MY SHOULDER.

YOU GOT A TWINGE, A CRICK?

HERE, MOVE YOUR ARM LIKE THIS.

PULL IT UP LIKE THAT.

YOU MEAN HE WASN'T HURT, AFTER ALL?

NO, OPIE.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND THAT.

WELL, OPIE, SOMETIMES

SOMEBODY THINKS THEY'RE HURT

WHEN THEY'RE NOT ACTUALLY HURT AT ALL.

BUT WHEN IT'S IN THEIR MINDS THAT THEY'RE HURT,

THEY THINK THEY ARE, AND THAT'S EXACTLY HOW THEY ARE.

ONLY THEY AREN'T, OF COURSE.

AUNT BEE, WILL YOU SAY THAT AGAIN?

OH, OPIE, IT'S ALL OVER.

LET'S FORGET ABOUT IT.

I'M GONNA ASK PAW TO EXPLAIN IT TO ME.

OH, OPIE, I WOULDN'T DO THAT.

I'D LEAVE HIM ALONE RIGHT NOW.

ANDY, YOU SURE THIS AIN'T ONE OF THEM PSYCHO THINGS?

RUB, GOOBER, JUST RUB.