Original subtitles

AH...

HI, OPE.

HI, PAW.

HOW THINGS LOOK FOR THE BIG GAME?

WELL, PRETTY GOOD. WE GOT A GOOD CHANCE.

WHAT DO YOU HEAR FROM MT. PILOT?

THEY GOT A GOOD TEAM, BUT WE CAN BEAT 'EM.

I MENDED YOUR SOCKS AND I WASHED THOSE KNICKERS AS BEST I COULD.

NOT KNICKERS, AUNT BEE.

I KNOW-- IT'S GOT SOME TECHNICAL NAME

LIKE "DUGOUTS" OR SOMETHING.

I'LL BE GLAD WHEN THIS IS ALL OVER.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH KIDS

PLAYING BASEBALL, AUNT BEE?

IT'S THE NATIONAL PASTIME.

IF WE WIN, WE GO TO RALEIGH

FOR THE STATE CHAMPIONSHIPS.

I JUST THINK YOU'RE OVERDOING IT.

YOU'VE BEEN OUT THERE REHEARSING

IN THAT HOT SUN ALL WEEK LONG.

WE'RE PRACTICING, NOT REHEARSING.

OH.

HELLO?

OH, HI, GOOBER.

YEAH?

YEAH...

ME?!

NO, NO.

I DON'T THINK...

NO, WILL IT...

THEY DID?

HUH.

WELL...

WELL...

OKAY. I SEE.

ALL RIGHT. BYE.

THEY WANT ME TO UMPIRE THE GAME TOMORROW.

YOU, PAW?

YEAH. EARL LEE GILLEY WAS SUPPOSED TO CALL

THE BALLS AND STRIKES, BUT HE'S SICK SO THEY PICKED ME.

I THINK THAT'S VERY FLATTERING.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S A GOOD IDEA

FOR THE UMPIRE TO HAVE A SON ON THE TEAM.

MAYBERRY KIDS WON'T MIND, PAW.

THE PEOPLE OF MT. PILOT WILL KNOW YOU'LL BE PERFECTLY FAIR.

AFTER ALL, YOU ARE THE SHERIFF

AND YOU'RE HEAD OF THE MAYBERRY GOOD GOVERNMENT LEAGUE

AND YOU'VE BEEN IN THE CHURCH CHOIR FOR FIVE YEARS.

I DON'T THINK THEY COULD MAKE A BETTER CHOICE.

HMM... WELL... HMM.

HI, GOOBER!

HOWARD.

HEY, FLOYD.

GOOD PRACTICE TODAY, BOY.

HOW'S THE TEAM LOOK?

AAH! OOH! RAZOR SHARP.

I WAS JUST TELLIN' FLOYD

I'M GONNA BE COVERIN' THE GAME FOR THE NEWSPAPER.

I THOUGHT YOU WROTE THE GARDEN COLUMN.

WELL, YES, THAT HAS BEEN MY BEAT

BUT BLANT AND FULLER HAD TO COVER

THE FISHIN' DERBY IN SILER CITY

SO THEY ASKED ME TO WRITE UP THE BASEBALL GAME.

MAYBE YOU OUGHT TO STICK CLOSE TO ME

'CAUSE I'LL BE SAYIN' GOOD THINGS

YOU MIGHT WANT TO PUT IN THE PAPER.

THE TEAM WOULD BE BETTER OFF

IF YOU DID A LITTLE LESS TALKING

AND A LITTLE MORE COACHING.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH MY COACHING?

TEACH THEM HOW TO BUNT, HIT AND RUN.

WELL, I DO!

SPEED! FLEETNESS OF FOOT-- THAT'S WHAT COUNTS.

FLOYD, I COACH THE TEAM.

I ALWAYS KNEW THIS WOULD HAPPEN-- POWER MAD!

YOU GIVE A MAN A LITTLE POWER

AND IT GOES TO HIS HEAD.

POWER MAD, THAT'S WHAT YOU... SEE, HOWARD?

WELL, IT CERTAINLY IS INNERESTIN'

HEARIN' THE DIFFERENT INSIDE ASPECTS

OF THE GAME.

HI, FELLAS.

HI, ANDY.

HEY, ANDY.

I HEAR YOU'RE GONNA BE UMPIRE

AT THE BASEBALL GAME.

WELL, I'M NOT TOO SURE I'M HAPPY ABOUT IT.

OH, YOU MEAN ON ACCOUNT OF OPIE

PLAYIN' ON THE TEAM?

WELL, YEAH.

ANDY, I HAD A LONG TALK

WITH THE MT. PILOT COACH AND THE LEAGUE OFFICIALS

AND WE ALL AGREED THAT YOU'D BE THE PERFECT MAN FOR IT.

RIGHT! HONEST ANDY TAYLOR.

NEVER BEEN A BLOT ON THAT NAME.

IT'S AS CLEAN AS A WHISTLE.

MY MOTHER FEELS YOU'RE AN EXCELLENT CHOICE, TOO.

WELL, THANK YOUR MOTHER, HOWARD.

CAN'T I BE THE BASE UMPIRE

INSTEAD OF WORKIN' BEHIND THE PLATE?

WELL, NO, ANDY. MR. HENDRICKS'S GONNA BE ON THE BASES.

HE CAN'T CALL BALLS AND STRIKES

'CAUSE HE'S GOT A BAD LEG AND CAN'T SQUAT.

YOU GOTTA BE A GOOD SQUATTER.

GET A BETTER FOCUS ON THE BALL.

JUST CALL 'EM AS YOU SEE 'EM, ANDY.

WE KNOW YOU'LL BE FAIR TO BOTH SIDES.

THAT'S ALL ANYBODY CAN ASK.

HMM.

YOU WANT SOME OF THIS?

OH... HE LOOKS SO CUTE IN HIS LITTLE OUTFIT, DOESN'T HE?

MM-HMM.

GET A PICTURE OF HIM.

OH, OKAY.

ANDY!

OH, LET ME GET ANOTHER ONE.

LOOK, UH, IT'S ALMOST TIME FOR THE GAME TO START.

OH, WELL, THEN, LET'S GET ONE OF OPIE.

OPIE, COME ON.

MISS CRUMP WANTS TO TAKE YOUR PICTURE.

OH, AUNT BEE...

COME ON, OPIE, PLEASE.

NOW MAKE A NICE POSE.

THERE-- WITH YOUR MITT.

OPIE, DO EVERYTHING YOUR FATHER TELLS YOU DURING THE GAME.

AS AN UMPIRE, HE CAN BE OF GREAT HELP TO YOU.

AUNT BEE, I CAN'T HELP HIM AT ALL!

NONSENSE. WHAT'S A FATHER FOR?

PAW'S RIGHT, AUNT BEE.

Coach: C'MON, FELLAS! HEY, OPE!

I GOTTA GO.

WELL, I DON'T EXPECT YOU TO DO EVERYTHING FOR HIM

BUT IF HE MAKES A LITTLE MISTAKE, OVERLOOK IT.

I'M SURE HE WON'T DO IT AGAIN.

AUNT BEE, ONCE THE GAME STARTS, I DON'T EVEN HAVE A SON

TILL IT'S OVER.

ANDY, WHAT AN AWFUL THING TO SAY.

WHEN A FATHER WON'T HELP HIS OWN SON...

IT'S-IT'S TIME.

YOU SHOULDN'T BE BACK HERE ANYWAY.

RUN ALONG.

UH... ALL SET, MR. HENDRICKS?

GOOBER, MR. TYLER, LET'S GO!

I'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU, UMP!

ALL RIGHT, MEN, THIS IS IT, THE BIG ONE.

I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU HOW MUCH THIS GAME MEANS TO US--

NOT JUST TO YOU, NOT TO ME,

BUT TO ALL OF MAYBERRY.

AND I WANT YOU TO GET IN THERE AND FIGHT.

NOW, YOU ALL REMEMBER THE SIGNALS.

IT'S...

HIT, BUNT, TAKE.

OKAY? GO GET 'EM, MEN!

COME ON!

COME ON! GO GET 'EM!

ANDY'S CERTAINLY TAKIN' CHARGE, ISN'T HE?

A BORN UMPIRE.

PLAY BALL!

Announcer: The Mt. Pilot Comets'

leadoff man, Johnny Adams.

STRIKE!

ATTABOY, OPE!

HE WAS VERY ALERT, WASN'T HE?

STRIKE!

Full count, 3 and 2.

The score remains nothing-to-nothing

at the bottom of the second.

THEY GOT THEIR SLUGGERS COMIN' UP NOW.

YEAH, THIS IS REAL EXCITING.

That is as hard a hit ball as we've seen in this park.

These Mt. Pilot Comets have really exploded this inning.

This has been some contest, and now we're down to the wire.

The score is 6-5 in favor of the Mt. Pilot Comets.

The count's 3-2 with Opie Taylor due to bat...

OKAY, COME ON, LET'S GET SOMETHING STARTED HERE!

HIT!

STRIKE THREE! YOU'RE OUT!

TWO OUTS, OPIE. YOU'RE OUR LAST HOPE.

WE NEED A RUN TO TIE IT UP.

OPIE, NOW, I'VE ALWAYS DREAMED OF COACHING A CHAMPIONSHIP TEAM.

THIS IS AS CLOSE I'VE EVER COME

SO GO OUT THERE AND HIT ONE...

FOR THE OLD GOOBER.

The Mayberry Giants have only one more chance, Opie Taylor.

BALL!

STRIKE!

STRIKE!

I THINK IT'S A HOMER!

OH, RUN, OPIE! RUN!

YOU'RE OUT!

OH, NO!

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO HELP.

I'M SORRY! YOU WERE OUT!

CERTAINLY IS A GOOD SALAD.

ISN'T IT?

MM-HMM.

JUST SOMETHING I THREW TOGETHER.

I HAD PLANNED ON A VICTORY LUNCHEON.

NOTHING I LIKE BETTER THAN A GOOD OLD SALAD.

YOU MIND IF I HAVE SOME MORE?

CERTAINLY.

OPIE, IF YOU'RE STILL THINKING ABOUT THAT PLAY

I WISH YOU'D FORGET IT

BECAUSE BELIEVE ME, YOU WERE OUT.

HE WAS SAFE BY A MILE.

CAN I BE EXCUSED, PAW?

YOU DIDN'T EAT ANYTHING.

I'M NOT HUNGRY.

ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT.

NOW, WE...

WE'RE JUST...

ALL RIGHT, WE'LL JUST...

WE'LL JUST GET THIS THING SETTLED

ONCE AND FOR ALL.

AND I GUESS...

I GUESS THE BEST WAY TO START IS TO...

TO EXPLAIN MY POSITION. OKAY?

OKAY.

OKAY, 'CAUSE ONCE YOU UNDERSTAND MY POSITION THOROUGHLY,

THEN, WELL, WE'LL TAKE A LOOK AT YOUR POSITION.

AND, AND THEN WE'LL COMPARE THE TWO POSITIONS

AND SEE WHAT WE COME UP WITH.

RIGHT? RIGHT.

RIGHT.

NOW, UH... I WAS THE UMPIRE.

YOU WITH ME UP TO NOW?

YEAH.

YEAH. NOW...

NOW, WHEN THAT PLAY HAPPENED, I WAS...

I WAS RIGHT ON TOP OF IT

AND YOU WERE SLIDING, WEREN'T YOU?

YES, SIR. YEAH.

NOW, ALL I WAS DOING...

I WAS LOOKING RIGHT AT THE PLATE.

SO IF... IF I WAS IN THE BEST POSITION TO SEE IT

AND I MADE MY DECISION BASED ON WHAT I SAW

WELL, THERE'S ONLY ONE ANSWER, ISN'T THERE?

YES, SIR.

GOOD.

I WAS SAFE.

YOU STILL TRYIN' TO TELL ME I WAS WRONG?

WELL, GEE, PAW --

OPIE, IT'S VERY BAD MANNERS

TO DISAGREE WITH YOUR FATHER.

EVEN WHEN HE'S WRONG.

OH, COME ON!

HOW ABOUT SOME GAS?

I'LL BE RIGHT WITH YOU.

I'M SORRY, WE'RE BUSY.

COME ON, GOOBER. QUIT FOOLING AROUND.

I'M IN A HURRY.

FILL HER UP, WILL YOU?

YOU GOING TO CHECK THE OIL AND WATER?

LOOKS OKAY TO ME.

THAT'S SERVICE WITH A SMILE.

YOU WANT FOLKS TO SMILE AT YOU,

TRY MT. PILOT.

THEY LOVE YOU OVER THERE.

HI, FLOYD.

HOW ABOUT A HAIRCUT?

GOT AN APPOINTMENT?

SINCE WHEN DO I NEED AN APPOINTMENT?

SINCE ABOUT 11:30 THIS MORNING.

DON'T YOU THINK THIS HAS GONE FAR ENOUGH?

NO APPOINTMENT, NO HAIRCUT.

I'LL MAKE AN APPOINTMENT.

I'M SORRY. I'M ALL BOOKED UP.

AW, COME ON, FLOYD.

LISTEN, IF YOU'RE IN SUCH A HURRY,

THEY GOT A BIG BARBER SHOP OVER IN MT. PILOT--

GOT FOUR CHAIRS, NO WAITING.

PROBABLY GIVE YOU ONE FOR FREE.

HI, FELLAS.

WASN'T THAT A GOOD MOVIE, ANDY?

"YES, IT WAS, HELEN."

OH.

I'M SORRY, I WAS THINKING ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE.

I THOUGHT YOU'D FALLEN ASLEEP.

NO.

WANT ME TO GUESS WHAT YOU'RE THINKING ABOUT?

THAT'D BE EASY.

ANDY, WHY DON'T WE GO OVER TO THE DINER

AND GET A BITE TO EAT?

OKAY.

FLOYD, WILL YOU QUIT HARPING

ON THE HIT

IT'S WHAT CASEY STENGEL WOULD HAVE DONE.

WELL, COACHING DIDN'T LOSE THAT GAME TODAY.

IT WAS A UMPIRE BY THE NAME OF ANDY TAYLOR.

DON'T MENTION THAT NAME!

I DIDN'T SEE THAT PLAY TOO CLEAR FROM WHERE I WAS SITTING.

TAKE MY WORD FOR IT, HOWARD.

HE WAS SAFE.

WHEN YOU WRITE YOUR COLUMN

LET THE PEOPLE KNOW THAT WE WAS ROBBED.

A CHANCE TO GO TO RALEIGH

RIGHT OUT THE WINDOW.

OH. HI, HOWARD.

HI.

HELEN.

GOOD EVENING.

EVENING, HELEN.

HEY, HELEN.

COME ON, ANDY, LET'S SIT DOWN.

WHAT WAS THAT YOU WERE SAYING

ABOUT THE GAME, GOOBER?

LISTEN, I'M FAMISHED.

LET'S SPLIT A SANDWICH.

THERE SURE IS A LOT OF PEOPLE WALKING AROUND

WHO NEED EYEGLASSES.

STRONG ONES.

ALL RIGHT!

NOW I'VE HAD ABOUT ALL OF THIS

I'M GOING TO TAKE

SO LET'S CLEAR IT UP RIGHT NOW.

I DIDN'T WANT THAT UMPIRE'S JOB TO START WITH

BUT YOU ALL INSISTED THAT I'D BE FAIR.

WELL, YOU DIDN'T WANT A FAIR UMPIRE.

YOU WANTED SOMEBODY THAT WOULD BE ON YOUR SIDE

AND GIVE YOU ALL THE BREAKS.

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING!

YOU PICKED THE WRONG FELLA.

AND I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING ELSE--

IF WE PLAYED THAT GAME OVER AGAIN TOMORROW

YOU'D STILL HAVE THE WRONG FELLA

BECAUSE I CALLED IT THE WAY I SAW IT!

AND IF YOU'D ACT LIKE ADULTS

INSTEAD OF A BUNCH OF SOREHEAD KIDS

YOU'D KNOW IT!

COME ON, HELEN.

HUH? BOY. HAH. BOY.

NOW HE'S BLAMING US.

WELL, THERE'S SOMETHING YOU CAN WRITE ABOUT

IN YOUR COLUMN TOMORROW, HOWARD.

YEAH.

ALL RIGHT.

THE WAY EVERYBODY'S ACTING, YOU'D THINK I'D COME OUT

AGAINST THE FLAG AND MOTHERHOOD.

ARE YOU GOING TO LET THEM FORCE YOU

INTO BELIEVING YOU WERE WRONG?

NO.

YOU DON'T SOUND TOO SURE.

WELL...

THAT WAS AN AWFUL CLOSE PLAY.

YOU KNOW? IT WAS.

AND NOW THAT IT'S OVER AND EVERYTHING,

I JUST -- I JUST WONDER.

DID I MAYBE LEAN OVER BACKWARDS

BECAUSE IT WAS OPIE?

ANDY, LOOK, IT'S OVER AND DONE WITH.

AND YOU KEEP ON LIKE THIS, AND YOU'RE GOING TO BE

COUNTING YOUR FINGERS AND MUMBLING TO YOURSELF.

YEAH.

I GUESS I HAVEN'T BEEN TOO MUCH FUN TONIGHT.

NONSENSE, YOU'VE BEEN A BARREL OF LAUGHS!

SEE HOW THIS SOUNDS.

"ALTHOUGH THIS REPORTER WAS ASSIGNED TO COVER

"TODAY'S MAYBERRY-MT. PILOT BASEBALL GAME,

"HE MUST ADMIT, FRANKLY,

"THAT HE HAS VERY LITTLE KNOWLEDGE OF BASEBALL.

"HOWEVER, AFTER WITNESSING THIS GAME,

"IT APPEARS THAT MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE KNOWLEDGE OF BASEBALL

"IS A KNOWLEDGE OF PEOPLE.

"FOR INSTANCE, WHY DOES A MAN TAKE ON A JOB AS UMPIRE

"AND EXPOSE HIMSELF TO ALL KINDS OF ABUSE?

I KNOW WHY ONE MAN IN PARTICULAR DID IT."

"HIS REASON WAS BECAUSE HE WAS ASKED TO AS A FAVOR.

"HE WASN'T PARTICULARLY ANXIOUS TO DO IT

"BECAUSE HIS SON HAPPENED TO BE PLAYING ON THE TEAM

"AND HE DIDN'T WANT TO RUN THE RISK

OF NOT BEING COMPLETELY IMPARTIAL."

"IT SEEMS TO ME THAT ONCE A MAN IS ASKED

"TO HANDLE A JOB LIKE THAT,

"ANY DECISIONS HE MAKES, RIGHT OR WRONG,

"SHOULD BE ACCEPTED

IN THE SPIRIT OF GOOD SPORTSMANSHIP."

"IF ANY OF YOU CRITICS WANT THE JOB OF UMPIRE

"AT NEXT YEAR'S GAME,

"LET HIM SPEAK UP LOUD AND CLEAR.

FRANKLY, I DON'T THINK WE'LL GET TOO MANY OFFERS."

WELL, I GOT AT LEAST ONE FELLA ON MY SIDE.

HI, ANDY.

HEY, ANDY.

UH, HI, FLOYD, GOOB.

WE JUST THOUGHT THAT, UH, UH...

WE'D DROP AROUND AND, YOU KNOW...

JUST DROP AROUND AND SAY HI.

YEAH, THAT'S IT.

WE JUST THOUGHT... WELL, YOU KNOW...

WE'D DROP AROUND.

WELL, THAT'S VERY NICE OF YOU.

THERE IS ONE THING, ANDY.

YOU'RE GETTING A LITTLE CARELESS

ABOUT YOUR PATROL CAR.

WAY PAST DUE FOR THE 1,000-MILE CHECKUP.

YEAH, I'VE... I'VE BEEN MEANING TO BRING THAT IN

BUT YOU KNOW HOW IT IS.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT.

I'LL TAKE IT, AND HAVE IT BACK IN AN HOUR.

OKAY.

A MAN SHOULD TAKE CARE

OF HIS PERSONAL APPEARANCE, TOO.

YOU'RE GETTING SHAGGY AROUND THE EARS.

TIME FOR A HAIRCUT.

YEAH, I GUESS... I GUESS MAYBE IT IS.

YOU DROP OVER TO THE SHOP AS SOON AS YOU GET A MINUTE

AND WE'LL FIX YOU UP... ANYTIME.

OKAY.

OH, EXCUSE ME.

HELLO.

OH, HI, HELEN.

WELL, SURE. SURE.

I'LL DROP IT OFF ON MY WAY HOME.

WE GOT TO BE GOING, ANDY.

ANYTIME AT ALL, ANDY.

RIGHT.

YEAH. GOOBER AND FLOYD.

YEAH.

OKAY.

UH... HELEN, CAN I CALL YOU BACK?

YEAH, I'LL TELL YOU ALL ABOUT IT.

BYE.

HI, OPE.

HI.

IS, UM...

SOMETHING ON YOUR MIND?

UNH-UNH.

JUST THOUGHT I'D DROP AROUND AND SAY HI.

WELL, I'M... I'M GLAD YOU DID, SON.

WELL, GUESS I BETTER BE RUNNING ALONG.

OKAY.

I JUST CAME IN TO SAY HI.

HEY, THESE ARE GOOD PICTURES, HELEN--

COLOR AND EVERYTHING.

LOOK AT THIS ONE.

OH, THAT'S GREAT!

OPIE, HERE'S ONE OF YOU.

ISN'T THAT NICE?

THAT'S ONE YOU TOOK JUST BEFORE THE GAME.

UH-HUH. OH!

OH, LET ME SEE.

LET ME SEE.

OH, YES. THERE YOU ARE

IN YOUR UMPIRE'S COSTUME.

UNIFORM, AUNT BEE.

ALL RIGHT. UNIFORM.

LOOK AT THE EXPRESSION ON GOOBER'S FACE HERE.

YEAH.

HEY, I FEEL LIKE SOME ICE CREAM.

WHO WANTS TO GO WITH ME?

I DO.

OKAY. COME ON.

YOU KNOW, THERE WAS ONE THING GOOD

ABOUT THAT BASEBALL GAME--

YOU GOT SOME WONDERFUL PICTURES.

YES, I DID.

ALL THAT FUSS OVER THAT SILLY GAME.

I SUPPOSE THEY'LL BE DISCUSSING FOR MONTHS

WHETHER HE WAS SAFE OR WHETHER HE WAS OUT.

UH... AUNT BEE?

HMM?

CAN YOU KEEP A SECRET?

I MEAN FROM EVERYBODY, EVEN ANDY.

WHY

WELL...

HERE'S A PICTURE I HAVEN'T SHOWN TO ANYBODY.

OH, MY!

HE WA SAFE.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING, PAW?

CHOCOLATE ICE CREAM IS BEST

FOR JUST PLAIN EATING ICE CREAM.

BUT FOR APPLE PIE, NOTHIN'S BETTER THAN VANILLA.

OH, THAT'S GOOD.

HEY, LOOK WHO'S COMIN'.

HI.

HI, SHERIFF.

COME ON, YOU GUYS, LET'S GO.

HEY, HAVEN'T YOU HEARD?

I'M INNOCENT!