Original subtitles

HOWDY!

GIBSON'S THE NAME-- FRED GIBSON.

HOWDY. I'M ANDY TAYLOR.

THIS IS MY SON, OPIE.

HI, SON.

HI.

WELL, WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

IT AIN'T WHAT YOU CAN DO FOR ME.

IT'S WHAT I CAN DO FOR YOU.

I'M HERE TO BRING JOY TO MAYBERRY.

MY CARD, SIR.

WHAT'S IT SAY, PA?

"GIBSON'S WILD WEST SHOW.

EAST OR WEST, GIBSON'S THE BEST."

THAT'S RIGHT.

AND WE'RE SMACK IN THE MIDDLE

OF OUR 15th CONSECUTIVE TRIUMPHANT GRAND TOUR.

WHEN, TO MY HORROR, I DISCOVERED THAT YOUR FAIR TOWN

HAD NEVER BEEN BLESSED

BY ONE OF OUR MAGNIFICENT PERFORMANCES.

SO IT'S MY PLEASURE TO ANNOUNCE

WE'LL BE BRINGING OUR GREAT SPECTACULAR

RIGHT INTO YOUR ENTERTAINMENT-STARVED COMMUNITY.

OH, WELL, WE'RE NOT EXACTLY "ENTERTAINMENT-STARVED."

Gibson: DON'T THANK ME.

WE'RE HAPPY TO DO IT.

A WILD WEST SHOW!

WOW!

OH, LOOKY THERE.

JUST LOOK AT THEM SOULFUL LITTLE EYES

LIGHT UP.

JUST THE PROSPECT OF US COMING INTO TOWN

HAS BROUGHT A RAY OF SUNSHINE INTO HIS DRAB LITTLE LIFE.

NOW, WE'LL BE MOVING INTO TOWN TOMORROW TO SET THINGS UP.

WE'LL START PUTTING ON OUR SHOWS ON SATURDAY.

I COME AHEAD TO ARRANGE FOR THE NECESSARY PERMIT.

I TRUST YOU CAN PROVIDE FOR THAT.

OH, WELL...

THANKS. I KNEW I COULD COUNT ON YOU.

WHERE SHOULD WE SET UP?

WELL, OFFHAND...

I PASSED YOUR FAIRGROUNDS.

THAT'D BE FINE FOR US.

WELL...

THAT'D BE FINE FOR YOU, TOO, SHERIFF.

YOU'RE NOT MUCH OF A ONE

FOR TWO-SIDED CONVERSATIONS, ARE YOU?

WELL, THERE AIN'T NO SENSE IN WASTING TIME.

WE GOT A GREAT SHOW

AND YOU FOLKS ARE LUCKY TO SEE IT.

YOU KNOW WHY YOU'RE LUCKY?

WELL...

THE STAR OF OUR SHOW IS NONE OTHER

THAN CLARENCE EARP, HISSELF.

NOW, HE IS THE GREAT-NEPHEW

AND DIRECT BLOOD RELATIVE OF WYATT EARP.

GREAT-NEPHEW OF WYATT EARP?

YES, SIR, SON,

AND HE IS JUST EXACTLY LIKE HIS GREAT-UNCLE WAS.

HE'S TWO-FISTED, HARD-RIDING, FAST-SHOOTING.

GEE, THIS IS ABOUT THE BIGGEST THING

THAT EVER HAPPENED IN MAYBERRY.

I GUESS IT DOES RANK RIGHT UP THERE.

I'LL BE BY TO PICK UP THE PERMIT TOMORROW.

I THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION, SHERIFF.

YOU'RE A MAN OF ACTION. I'M HAPPY TO SEE THAT.

I LIKE THAT IN A MAN. SEE YOU ALL LATER.

BOY, WAIT 'TIL I TELL THE KIDS.

A REAL WILD WEST SHOW

STARRING A REAL RELATIVE OF WYATT EARP.

ACTUAL BLOOD RELATIVE OF WYATT EARP HIMSELF, HUH?

THAT'S WHAT THE MAN SAID.

WELL, I NEVER GAVE IT MUCH THOUGHT,

BUT I GUESS THERE ARE SOME LIVING MEMBERS

OF THE EARP CLAN STILL AROUND, ANDY.

YEAH, MUST BE.

OH, SAY, THIS IS EXCITING.

THE LAST TIME WE HAD SOMEONE IN MAYBERRY

WHO WAS CONNECTED TO A FAMOUS PERSON

WAS HARVEY KESTER.

HARVEY KESTER?

HE USED TO REPAIR GLORIA SWANSON'S RADIO SET.

WONDERFUL FELLA.

YOU'D THINK HE'D BE SWELL

AH, BUT NOT HARVEY.

NO, HE WAS JUST A REGULAR FELLA.

I LIKED HIM FOR THAT.

WELL, THE KIDS OUGHT TO GET A REAL KICK

OUT OF SEEING A WILD WEST SHOW.

AH, YES... REMEMBER THE LAST SHOW

WE HAD PASSING THROUGH HERE-- THE GREAT MANDRAKE?

HE WAS A FIRE-EATER.

FIRE

YEAH, HE SWALLOWED FIRE

LIKE THE REST OF US SWALLOW PEAS.

LIT MATCHES, CANDLES, TORCHES...

YOU NAME IT-- HE'D SWALLOW 'EM.

BUT THE SHOW DIDN'T LAST TOO LONG, AS I REMEMBER,

BECAUSE THE FIRE DEPARTMENT HAD TO KEEP PUTTING HIM OUT.

WHOA, WASN'T THAT GOOD?

YEAH.

OH, WE SHOULDN'T HAVE TOO MUCH TROUBLE

WITH THIS WILD WEST SHOW.

SOUNDS LIKE IT WOULD BE REAL OUTSTANDING.

ESPECIALLY WITH THAT, UH, UH...

WHAT'S THAT FELLA'S FIRST NAME?

CLARENCE.

CLARENCE EARP, OF COURSE, YES.

CLARENCE EARP, UH...

OH, HE MUST BE JUST LIKE HIS GREAT-UNCLE.

YOU KNOW, THOSE BROAD SHOULDERS, NARROW WAIST,

RIPPLING MUSCLES.

WITH HIS COLD, STEELY EYES LOOKING STRAIGHT AHEAD

AS HE RIDES TALL IN THE SADDLE.

WHAT'S THIS, ANDY?

COULD THAT BE WYATT EARP'S GREAT

IF IT IS, SOMETHING WENT HAYWIRE IN THE BLOODLINE.

OUT TO THE FAIRGROUNDS.

TELL EVERYBODY ABOUT THE SHOW, BOYS.

Boy: WE WILL.

Warren: ALL RIGHT, KIDS, NOW COME ON.

LET'S NOT BLOCK THE SIDEWALK.

COME ON. MOVE ALONG.

HOWDY, SHERIFF.

MR. GIBSON, NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN.

SHERIFF, I'D LIKE FOR YOU TO HAVE

THE HONOR OF MEETING

THE GREAT-NEPHEW OF WYATT EARP.

THIS HERE IS CLARENCE EARP.

PLEASURE TO MEET YOU, SHERIFF.

PLEASURE TO MEET YOU, TOO.

I THOUGHT I'D BRING CLARENCE INTO TOWN.

LET FOLKS TAKE A LOOK AT HIM.

IT'S A REAL TREAT.

WAIT TILL YOU SEE HIM IN ACTION, SHERIFF--

THE FAST DRAW, THE SMOKING .45

THE PINPOINT ACCURACY.

I'LL BET IT'S A THRILL

FOR YOU TO MEET A REAL COWBOY, HUH, SON?

WELL, I WAS...

I KNEW IT WOULD BE.

I WAS GONNA SAY...

I KNOW YOU WERE.

I LIKE A BOY WHO SPEAKS RIGHT UP.

FINE BOY YOU GOT, SHERIFF.

THANKS.

THE IMPORTANT THING IS, FOLKS,

DON'T MISS ONE THRILL-PACKED MINUTE OF OUR SHOW.

2:00 TOMORROW AFTERNOON AT THE FAIRGROUNDS.

THE ROOTINGEST, TOOTINGEST WILD WEST SHOW

OF THEM ALL.

AND THE ONLY ONE STARRING AN ACTUAL MEMBER

OF THE EARP CLAN.

YOU GOT OUR PERMIT READY NOW, SHERIFF?

UH, YEAH.

LET'S GO IN THE COURTHOUSE AND GET IT.

DON'T FORGET, FOLKS:

FIRST SHOW, 2:00 TOMORROW.

SPREAD THE WORD AROUND.

IF THESE TWO CHARACTERS REALLY PUT ON A WILD WEST SHOW

AND CLARENCE EARP'S GONNA BE THE STAR,

IT CAN'T BE MUCH OF A SHOW.

HOW DO, GENTS?

OH, HI, THERE.

MY NAME IS FRED GIBSON.

THIS HERE IS NONE OTHER THAN CLARENCE EARP,

THOUGH I SUPPOSE YOU FELLAS ALREADY HEARD OF HIM.

OH, YES, YES.

OH, CERTAINLY HAVE.

HOWDY, GENTS.

MIND IF I PUT ONE OF MY POSTERS IN YOUR WINDOW?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

THANKS VERY MUCH, FRIEND.

WHERE SHOULD I PUT IT?

WELL, I'VE GOT THAT ONE THERE...

RIGHT HERE WOULD BE FINE. HOW'S IT LOOK?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

YOU KNOW, FRIEND, THE MINUTE I LAID EYES ON YOU

I FIGURED YOU WERE THE KIND OF FELLA

THAT'D LOVE TO SEE SOME FINE ENTERTAINMENT

COME IN TO YOUR FAIR COMMUNITY.

OH, YEAH... I'VE ALWAYS BEEN A PATRON OF THE THEATER.

OH, I KNEW THAT FROM THE MINUTE I LAID EYES ON YOU.

CAN I SEE WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE?

YOU MAY HAVE THIS FOR YOUR VERY OWN.

FOR MY VERY OWN?

OH, BOY.

HEY, LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE GOING TO PUT ON SOME SHOW.

LASSOING, FAST DRAWS, KNIFE THROWING...

I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO IT, MR. EARP.

UH, UH, MY VERY OWN.

YEAH, YOU REALLY DO ALL THAT?

WELL, FRIEND, JUST BECAUSE CLARENCE HERE IS SCRAWNY,

DON'T THINK HE AIN'T TOUGH.

OH, NO, I DIDN'T MEAN THAT.

WOULD YOU CARE FOR A LITTLE ARM

HUH?

TWO OUT OF THREE.

YOU GAME?

WELL, I, UH...

I JUST THINK IT'S FAIR TO WARN YOU

THAT'S ONE DEPARTMENT I HAPPEN TO EXCEL IN, RIGHT?

THAT'S RIGHT.

AT THE LAST FOUNDER'S DAY PICNIC,

WARREN WAS THE ARM-WRESTLING CHAMP.

HE WALKED AWAY WITH A MONTH'S SUPPLY OF MINT JELLY.

OOH, WELL, CONGRATULATIONS.

NOTHING TO IT.

WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO LAY DOWN 50 CENTS

TO DEFEND YOUR TITLE?

IF YOU DON'T MIND THROWING MONEY AWAY.

ALL RIGHT.

LET'S GO, CLARENCE.

HOWDY.

OH, HI, ANDY.

WHAT'S, UH, GOING ON?

YOU'RE JUST IN TIME FOR THE FUN, ANDY.

WARREN AND MR. EARP ARE GOING TO HAVE AN ARM-WRESTLING CONTEST.

ARM WHAT FOR?

I WAS CHALLENGED, ANDY.

ANYTIME YOU'RE READY.

OKAY.

HI, SHERIFF.

THAT'S ONE.

THAT WAS LUCK.

MY ELBOW SLIPPED.

GEE, UNCLE FLOYD, YOU OUGHT TO KEEP THE TABLE CLEAN.

THERE'S HAIR CREAM ALL OVER.

I NEVER KEEP HAIR CREAM ON THAT TABLE.

WELL, THERE'S SOMETHING SLIPPERY ON IT.

GET ME A TOWEL, ANDY.

YEAH.

THANKS.

ALL RIGHT. LET'S SEE WHAT YOU CAN DO NOW, FELLA.

HURRY IT UP, SON.

WE GOT TO GET MOVING.

SURE A PLEASURE DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU, GENTLEMEN.

HOPE TO SEE YOU-ALL AT THE SHOW.

WOW, HE'S FAST AS GREASED LIGHTNING.

WELL, THAT'S THE WAY IT WAS IN THE OLD WEST.

A MAN HAD TO HAVE A GUN.

BE FAST AND FANCY.

HAD TO BE TOUGH, TOO.

I'M TELLING YOU, TOUGH.

CLARENCE, HERE, HE CAN STAND TOE-TO-TOE

WITH ANY MAN ALIVE

NO MATTER WHAT SHAPE OR SIZE.

Boys: GOSH!

OOH!

YOU CARE FOR A LITTLE RASSLIN'?

WELL, NO, I DON'T THINK...

YOU LOOK LIKE A HUSKY LAD.

WELL, I EAT A LOT OF VEGETABLES.

HOW ABOUT A FRIENDLY RASSLIN' MATCH

BETWEEN YOU AND CLARENCE HERE?

NOBODY GETS HURT, ALL IN GOOD FUN.

WELL, NO...

LET'S SEE IF YOU CAN TAKE HIM.

YOU'RE STRONG.

WELL, OKAY.

HERE, HOLD MY TIRE GAUGE.

RIGHT OVER HERE, RIGHT OVER HERE.

TAKE YOUR POSITIONS, MEN.

BOYS, GET ON OVER TO THE SIDE.

YOU READY?

YEAH.

YOU READY?

LET'S GO.

All: COME ON, GOOBER!

FIND A SOFT SPOT TO LAND HIM IN, CLARENCE.

All: COME ON, GOOBER! COME ON!

WOW. WOW

THAT'S ENOUGH, CLARENCE.

YOU ALL RIGHT, SON?

YEAH, I GUESS SO.

WE HAVE TO DO THAT SO PEOPLE WILL KNOW

THAT EVERYTHING I SAY ABOUT CLARENCE IS TRUE.

IT SURE IS.

DON'T FORGET TO COME TO THE SHOW, BOYS.

BRING ALL YOUR PARENTS.

AND REMEMBER, CLARENCE LIVES BY THE CODE OF THE WEST:

"A MAN WHO CAN FIGHT IS A MAN WHO IS RIGHT."

REMEMBER THAT, BOYS.

SON, LET ME TAKE A FEEL OF THAT MUSCLE OF YOURS.

OOH-EE!

I'LL BET YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF, HUH?

YES, SIR.

ALL RIGHT, SEE YOU AT THE SHOW, BOYS.

BYE, MR. EARP.

HERE'S YOUR TIRE GAUGE, GOOB.

OH, YOU ARE REALLY SOMETHING, BOY.

YOU KNOW THAT?

HI, PA. HI, WARREN.

Warren: HI, OPE.

HI, OPE. WHERE YOU BEEN?

OVER AT THE FAIRGROUNDS

WATCHING THEM GET READY FOR THE SHOW. YEAH?

CLARENCE EARP SHOWED US SOME REAL FANCY STUFF WITH A GUN.

AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING ELSE?

HE BEAT UP GOOBER.

HE BEAT UP GOOBER?

YEAH. MR. GIBSON GOT GOOBER TO WRESTLE WITH MR. EARP,

AND MR. EARP BEAT HIM.

BOY, HE'S STRONG.

I WISH THEY WOULDN'T STIR THINGS UP.

GEE, THINGS MUST HAVE BEEN EXCITING

BACK IN THE OLD WEST, PA --

SHOOTIN' AND FIGHTIN' AND EVERYTHING.

BOY, I WISH I COULD HAVE BEEN AROUND BACK THEN.

YEAH, YOU'RE LIVING IN A PRETTY DULL AGE NOW.

NOTHING MUCH HAPPENING

EXCEPT PLANES GOING FASTER THAN THE SPEED OF SOUND,

ASTRONAUTS ORBITING THE EARTH,

ROCKETS GOING TO THE MOON.

YEAH, BUT THAT'S NOT LIKE RIDIN' AND FIGHTIN'

AND SIX-SHOOTERS ON YOUR HIP.

COMING, OPE? YEAH!

POW!

POW! POW! POW! POW!

YOU KNOW, I'M KIND OF SORRY I GAVE THEM THAT PERMIT.

I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING, ANDY --

A COUPLE OF GUYS LIKE THIS COULD CAUSE A LOT OF TROUBLE.

HOW YOU DOING, FLOYD?

WELL, HOWDY, ANDY.

BEEN OUT TO SEE THE SHOW YET?

NO. I HAVEN'T HAD A CHANCE YET.

A GREAT SHOW.

THE OLD WEST REBORN.

THAT'S WHAT I HEAR.

PARDON ME FOR SAYING SO, ANDY,

BUT, UH,

I DON'T THINK YOU'D HAVE MADE A GOOD SHERIFF

IN THE OLD DAYS.

I'M NOT TOUGH ENOUGH, HUH?

YOU'RE TOO GENTLE.

YOU'D HAVE PROBABLY BEEN A BARBER.

WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE BEEN?

GAMBLER.

HIGH STAKES.

SHOOT THE WAD.

WELL, YOU KNOW, FLOYD...

SOUNDS LIKE A FIGHT.

YEAH.

ALL RIGHT.

THAT'S ENOUGH OF THIS.

THAT'S ENOUGH OF THIS!

THAT'S ENOUGH OF THIS!

DO YOU HEAR ME?!

YOU OUGHT TO BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF.

YOU, TOO, JOHNNY PAUL.

WHAT'S ALL THE YELLING, ANDY?

A FIGHT. A FIGHT?

YEAH. NOW, WHO STARTED IT?

WE HAD AN ARGUMENT.

YOU HAD AN ARGUMENT?

YEAH. WE WERE PLAYING COWBOY

AND THIS IS OUR HIDEOUT

AND THEY SAID THEY GOT HERE FIRST.

WE DID GET HERE FIRST.

I'M CLARENCE EARP

AND ME AND MY MEN WENT ACROSS THE STREET

TO THE DANCE HALL FOR A MINUTE.

OH, YEAH? YEAH!

ALL RIGHT, PUT THEM UP.

THE MAN WHO CAN FIGHT IS THE MAN WHO'S RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT.

CUT IT OUT. CUT, CUT IT OUT.

OPIE, GO HOME.

GET IN YOUR ROOM. STAY THERE.

GO ON, JOHNNY PAUL.

GO ON, ALL OF YOU.

"THE MAN WHO CAN FIGHT'S THE MAN THAT'S RIGHT."

I KNOW WHERE THEY GOT THAT FROM.

GOOBER, I WANT YOU TO DO ME A FAVOR.

GO OUT TO THE FAIRGROUNDS

AND TELL THAT GIBSON FELLA AND THAT CLARENCE EARP

I WANT TO SEE THEM IN MY OFFICE RIGHT NOW.

YO, ANDY.

THE MAN WHO CAN FIGHT'S THE MAN THAT'S RIGHT.

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT THE MAN WHO CAN FIGHT

IS THE MAN WHO IS NOT RIGHT?

WELL, WHAT...

IF YOU AND ME WAS TO GET IN A FIGHT

AND YOU LICKED ME, YOU'D BE IN THE WRONG?

WELL... YES.

HE'S A STRANGE MAN, YOU KNOW THAT?

HOW'D YOU GET THIS FAR?

LOOK, ALL I'M ASKING YOU TO DO

IS TO TAKE IT A LITTLE EASY

ON ALL THIS TALK ABOUT FIGHTING.

WELL, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

WELL, I DON'T HAPPEN TO AGREE WITH IT.

BUT WORSE THAN THAT

YOU'VE BEEN TELLING IT TO THE KIDS.

EVERY WORD I TOLD THEM IS THE TRUTH.

AND THERE'S NOBODY BETTER FOR A BOY TO LOOK UP TO

THAN A MAN LIKE WYATT EARP.

WELL, I BELIEVE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR.

JUST BECAUSE THE GENTLEMAN'S NAME HAPPENS TO BE EARP

IS NO REASON TO GET FOLKS ALL WORKED UP

ESPECIALLY THE KIDS.

NOW, MAYBE THAT NAME WAS IMPORTANT IN THE OLD DAYS

BUT THE NAME DON'T MEAN TOO MUCH ANYMORE.

ARE YOU BESMIRCHING THE NAME OF EARP?

LOOK, ALL I SAID...

I KNOW WHAT YOU SAID.

YOU SAID THE NAME OF EARP DON'T MEAN TOO MUCH ANYMORE.

YES, I SAID THAT.

HOLD IT, SHERIFF.

YOU'VE SAID ENOUGH.

IN THE NAME OF THE EARP FAMILY

I DEMAND SATISFACTION.

NOW, NOW WAIT A MINUTE.

I AM CHALLENGING YOU TO A FIGHT.

A FIGHT?

NOW LOOK, THIS ISN'T TOMBSTONE.

YOUR CHOICE OF WEAPONS.

GIBSON: SIMMER DOWN NOW, SON.

AND WE'LL MEET YOU IN FRONT OF YOUR OFFICE...

AT HIGH NOON.

HIGH NOON, SHERIFF.

OH, I SURE WISH YOU HADN'T OF BESMIRCHED

THE NAME OF EARP, SHERIFF.

FOR HEAVEN'S SAKES.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, ANDY?

I DON'T KNOW.

THIS IS RIDICULOUS, ANDY, CHALLENGING PEOPLE TO DUELS.

NOW WE OUGHT TO CLAMP THE CUFFS ON THOSE JOKERS

AND THROW THEM IN THE OLD POKEY.

WHEN YOU COME FACE TO FACE WITH THIS FELLA

YOU'RE LIABLE TO GET HURT.

HE IS TOUGH, BELIEVE ME.

YEAH, I KNOW.

YOU CAN TAKE A GUY TWICE HIS SIZE.

IF HE STARTS FOOLING AROUND WITH THAT GUN,

THERE'S NO TELLING WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN.

WHERE YOU GOING, ANDY?

OUT.

BUT IT'S 11:00.

THAT GIVES ME AN HOUR TO KILL.

I'LL BE BACK.

PA.

I JUST HEARD ABOUT IT.

OH, YOU DID, HUH?

GEE, PA, YOU THINK YOU OUGHT TO FIGHT?

WELL...

YOU TOLD ME YOURSELF THAT'S NO WAY TO SETTLE THINGS.

WELL, I'M GLAD TO HEAR YOU REMEMBER WHAT I TOLD YOU,

BUT I'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

HAVE YOU DECIDED ON YOUR CHOICE OF WEAPONS YET?

YES, I HAVE.

WELL... WHAT YOU GONNA USE?

WELL, YOU KNOW, IN ANY GOOD WESTERN,

THEY NEVER GIVE AWAY THE ENDING.

SO I GUESS YOU'RE JUST GOING TO HAVE TO WAIT

TILL HIGH NOON TO FIND OUT.

WELL, WHATEVER IT IS, PA, I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA WIN.

THANKS, SON.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S MOVE ALONG, KIDS. COME ON.

I'M GLAD YOU'RE NOT ARMED, SHERIFF.

I AIN'T SPENT AN EASY MINUTE WORRIED ABOUT YOU.

LOOKS LIKE IT'S GOING TO BE A FISTFIGHT, CLARENCE.

A FIST... OH, FIST. RIGHT.

TAKE IT EASY ON HIM, CLARENCE.

WAIT, WAIT. NOW WAIT A MINUTE.

NOW LISTEN.

WILL YOU TELL HIM TO HOLD IT?

STOP IT. HOLD IT.

YES, SIR, SHERIFF.

LET'S, UH, LET'S GO IN THE COURTHOUSE.

I'LL FIGHT YOU IN THE STREET.

I'LL FIGHT YOU IN A BARN.

I'LL FIGHT YOU IN THE COURTHOUSE.

NO. NOW LISTEN, NOW LISTEN.

LISTEN, LISTEN.

LET'S GO RIGHT NOW.

WILL YOU STOP IT?

I AM NOT GOING TO FIGHT WITH MY FISTS.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO FIGHT HIM WITH?

A BOOK.

A BOOK? YES, A BOOK.

IT'S A BOOK ABOUT WYATT EARP

AND ALL THE DESCENDANTS OF WYATT EARP,

LIVING AND DEAD,

AND THE STRANGE THING IS,

THE ONE NAME THEY DON'T MENTION--

NOT EVEN ONE TIME-- IS CLARENCE EARP.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I'M TALKING ABOUT THERE IS NO CLARENCE EARP.

WHY, I'M CLARENCE EARP.

COURSE YOU ARE, CLARENCE.

NOW I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE OF YOU IT IS--

MAYBE IT'S BOTH OF YOU-- BUT SOMEBODY'S LYING.

I'VE ALWAYS BEEN CLARENCE EARP.

HAVEN'T I, FRED?

COURSE YOU HAVE, CLARENCE.

DON'T PAY ANY ATTENTION TO HIM.

WAIT A MINUTE, MR. GIBSON.

YOU BETTER TELL THIS BOY HE'S NOT CLARENCE EARP.

'CAUSE I'M TELLING YOU RIGHT NOW

IF YOU KEEP RUNNING ALL OVER THE COUNTRY PLAYING COWBOY,

WEARING COWBOY SUITS AND PISTOLS ON YOUR HIPS

AND CARRYING ON THE WAY YOU'VE BEEN CARRYING ON,

YOU GOING TO WIND UP

GETTING THIS BOY IN ALL KINDS OF TROUBLE.

I WONDER WHY MY NAME ISN'T IN THIS BOOK, FRED.

WELL?

WELL...

SON...

I TOLD YOU THAT I KNEW YOUR MAMA AND DADDY,

BUT I DIDN'T.

I DIDN'T KNOW THEM AT ALL.

WHAT I DID KNOW, THOUGH

WAS THAT WHEREVER YOU CAME FROM

YOU WERE THE SCAREDEST ONE OF THE LITTER.

OH, YOU NEVER COULD SEEM TO FIND YOUR PLACE

WITH THE OTHER LITTLE BOYS.

ALWAYS KIND OF SICKLY

AND KIND OF UNSURE OF YOURSELF

AND I WANTED TO STRAIGHTEN YOU OUT.

WELL, I'VE ALWAYS BEEN AN ADMIRER

OF THE GREAT WYATT EARP

AND I JUST FIGURED I'D GIVE YOU THAT NAME

SO YOU'D HAVE SOME HERITAGE TO LIVE UP TO.

THEN IT'S ALL BEEN A LIE?

YEAH, IT HAS, CLARENCE.

AND I'M NO KIN TO WYATT EARP?

NO, YOU'RE NOT.

WELL, I WONDER WHAT I'M GOING TO DO NOW, FRED.

I'VE BEEN CLARENCE EARP SO LONG

THAT'S ALL I KNOW HOW TO BE.

I KNOW.

I LIKE SHOWING PEOPLE THAT I CAN HANDLE MYSELF.

FOLKS LOOKED UP TO ME, FRED.

YEAH, THEY DID, CLARENCE.

ALWAYS MEANT SO MUCH

YOU AND ME TRAVELING AROUND THE COUNTRY TOGETHER

GETTING INTO LITTLE SCRAPS WITH SOMEBODY

EVERY NOW AND THEN.

I LIKED BEING KIN TO WYATT EARP.

THAT WAS NICE, FRED.

YES, IT WAS, CLARENCE.

I GUESS IT WAS NICE, SON,

BUT A PERSON HAS TO BE WHO HE REALLY IS.

RIGHT, FRED?

OH, RIGHT.

SHERIFF, EXACTLY RIGHT.

A MAN'S GOT TO BE WHO HE REALLY IS.

THERE'S NO DOUBT ABOUT IT.

NO KIN TO WYATT EARP?

NO, YOU'RE NOT, CLARENCE.

DO YOU KNOW WHO I REALLY AM, FRED?

OH, SURE I KNOW.

WHAT MY REAL NAME IS?

YEAH.

WELL, WHAT IS IT?

DEMPSEY.

SEE, WHAT'D I TELL YOU? THEY'RE COMING OVER HERE NOW.

AMAZING. HOWDY, GENTS.

IT'S MY GREAT PLEASURE TO ANNOUNCE

WE'RE BRINGING TO YOUR ENTERTAINMENT-STARVED COMMUNITY

ONE OF THE GREATEST BOXING EVENTS

IN THE HISTORY OF THE GLORIOUS STATE OF NORTH CAROLINA.

BUT WE'VE HAD BOXING.

DON'T THANK US, FRIEND.

WE'RE HAPPY TO DO IT.

AS YOU'RE PROBABLY AWARE,

WE'LL BE INTRODUCING THE FINE FISTIC TALENTS

OF NONE OTHER THAN CLARENCE "KID" DEMPSEY,

WHO WILL MEET ALL CHALLENGERS

FOR THE GRAND PRIZE OF $50, CASH MONEY.

CLARENCE, GIVE THE BOYS HERE A LITTLE SAMPLE.

RIGHT.

THAT'S ENOUGH, CLARENCE. JUST A SAMPLE.

HEY THERE, FRIEND.

HOW'D YOU LIKE TO TAKE A SHOT AT THE $50?

HECK, NO. I COULDN'T EVEN WHUP HIM WHEN HIS NAME WAS EARP.

WELL, SPREAD THE WORD AROUND.

WE'RE MEETING ALL CHALLENGERS.

WHEN ARE YOU GONNA PUT THIS ON?

JUST AS SOON AS I GET A PERMIT FROM THE SHERIFF.

DO YOU MIND IF I PUT ONE OF MY POSTERS IN YOUR WINDOW?

WELL -- THANKS A LOT FOR YOUR COOPERATION, FRIEND.