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1
00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:33,067
HOLD IT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT!
2
00:00:33,101 --> 00:00:34,302
WHERE YOU GOING?
3
00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:35,769
YOU AIN'T SUPPOSED TO MOVE
4
00:00:35,803 --> 00:00:38,772
UNTIL I TURN THE OTHER SIDE
OF THIS SIGN WHAT SAY GO.
5
00:00:38,806 --> 00:00:41,709
I CAN TELL IT SAY GO
'CAUSE IT'S GREEN, PURE GREEN.
6
00:00:41,742 --> 00:00:43,144
SEE THERE?
7
00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:44,345
NOW, GET, YOU!
8
00:00:44,378 --> 00:00:45,513
GO ON, GET!
9
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,648
DON'T EVER LET ME
SEE YOU AGAIN!
10
00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:49,049
GO ON! GET!
11
00:00:50,318 --> 00:00:53,121
HEY, STOP, YOU! CAN'T YOU SEE
I'M HOLDIN' UP THE ROSY RED?!
12
00:00:53,154 --> 00:00:54,222
STOP, YOU, STOP!
13
00:00:54,255 --> 00:00:55,556
STOP, YOU CRIMINAL, YOU!
14
00:00:55,589 --> 00:00:56,757
COME ON, STOP, YOU!
15
00:00:56,790 --> 00:00:58,826
I'M GONNA GET YOU
FOR THAT, YOU...!
16
00:00:58,859 --> 00:01:01,295
ERNEST T., QUIT THROWING
ROCKS AT THAT CAR!
17
00:01:01,329 --> 00:01:02,730
HE WOULDN'T STOP!
18
00:01:02,763 --> 00:01:04,598
I HAD UP THE ROSY RED.
I DIDN'T HAVE UP THE PURE GREEN.
19
00:01:04,632 --> 00:01:07,201
IN THE FIRST PLACE, YOU
DIDN'T SEE HIM COMING
20
00:01:07,235 --> 00:01:09,770
IN THE SECOND PLACE, YOU
DON'T THROW ROCKS AT CARS!
21
00:01:09,803 --> 00:01:12,106
YOU THINK I WANTED
TO THROW THEM ROCKS?
22
00:01:12,140 --> 00:01:14,275
THEM WAS MY BESTEST ROCKS.
LOOK AT THEM!
23
00:01:14,308 --> 00:01:16,110
ERNEST T., I GAVE
YOU THIS JOB
24
00:01:16,144 --> 00:01:17,711
AND I'M TELLING
YOU RIGHT NOW
25
00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:19,447
IF YOU THROW
ANY MORE ROCKS
26
00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:20,714
I'M GOING TO FIRE YOU.
27
00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:22,616
YOU DICE 'EM?
I DO DICE 'EM!
28
00:01:22,650 --> 00:01:23,851
IF YOU FIRE ME
29
00:01:23,884 --> 00:01:26,220
I CAN'T MARRY UP
WITH MY BEAUTIFUL ROMEENA!
30
00:01:26,254 --> 00:01:27,355
WHY?
31
00:01:27,388 --> 00:01:29,457
BECAUSE I NEED $12
FOR THE HONEYMOON.
32
00:01:29,490 --> 00:01:30,658
TENTS COST MONEY--
33
00:01:30,691 --> 00:01:32,493
SOMETHING FIERCE,
YOU KNOW.
34
00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:34,195
GONNA GET A LANTERN, TOO.
35
00:01:34,228 --> 00:01:36,197
YOU BETTER REMEMBER
WHAT I SAID.
36
00:01:36,230 --> 00:01:37,365
OH, I WILL, I WILL.
37
00:01:37,398 --> 00:01:38,499
SHERIFF, I DECLARE
38
00:01:38,532 --> 00:01:40,501
I'M SO ASHAMED,
I'M ABOUT TO CRY.
39
00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:42,336
WELL, DON'T CRY.
ALL RIGHT.
40
00:01:42,370 --> 00:01:44,505
YOU AND ROMEENA GETTING
MARRIED SOON?
41
00:01:44,538 --> 00:01:45,806
YEP. RIGHT SOON.
42
00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:48,376
HER GIRLFRIENDS ARE
GIVING HER A SHOWER.
43
00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:50,378
THAT'S NICE.
A LOT OF GIFTS.
44
00:01:50,411 --> 00:01:52,546
JUST A PLAIN
HOT-WATER SHOWER.
45
00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:54,148
WELL, ERNEST T.
46
00:01:54,182 --> 00:01:56,384
I'M GLAD YOU'RE GOING
TO MARRY ROMEENA
47
00:01:56,417 --> 00:01:58,519
BUT I'M TELLING
YOU RIGHT NOW
48
00:01:58,552 --> 00:02:00,721
IF YOU THROW
ONE MORE ROCK...
49
00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:02,790
I GIVE YOU MY WORD,
SHERIFF
50
00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:05,259
I WOULDN'T THROW
ONE MORE ROCK.
51
00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:06,527
GOOD.
52
00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:12,700
DIDN'T SAY NOTHIN'
'BOUT NO BRICK.
53
00:02:22,643 --> 00:02:25,213
[ TIRES SCREECHING,
HORN HONKING ]
54
00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:34,855
DREADFULLY SORRY, SIR.
55
00:02:34,888 --> 00:02:36,724
IT'S ENTIRELY MY FAULT.
56
00:02:36,757 --> 00:02:39,327
WELL,
MALCOLM MERRIWEATHER!
57
00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:40,628
HELLO, SHERIFF.
58
00:02:40,661 --> 00:02:42,396
YOU'RE LOOKING FINE.
59
00:02:42,430 --> 00:02:43,731
WHY, THANK YOU.
60
00:02:43,764 --> 00:02:46,400
IT'S NICE OF YOU
TO SAY THAT.
61
00:02:46,434 --> 00:02:47,501
ARE YOU HURT?
62
00:02:47,535 --> 00:02:49,737
NO, NOT A SCRATCH.
63
00:02:49,770 --> 00:02:52,640
OH, GOOD. DECIDE TO PAY US
A LITTLE VISIT, HUH?
64
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:55,276
ONE NEVER QUITE FORGETS
MAYBERRY, YOU KNOW.
65
00:02:55,309 --> 00:02:56,810
SUCH A CHARMING LITTLE TOWN.
66
00:02:56,844 --> 00:02:59,413
WE LIKE IT.
67
00:02:59,447 --> 00:03:00,748
HELP YOU DOWN?
68
00:03:00,781 --> 00:03:02,683
OH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
69
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:04,452
HERE. GOT IT.
70
00:03:04,485 --> 00:03:05,819
RIGHT, YES.
71
00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:07,421
OKAY, OKAY.
72
00:03:07,455 --> 00:03:08,889
THERE WE GO.
73
00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:12,526
THERE WE ARE.
74
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,228
ALWAYS SO GRACIOUS.
75
00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:15,496
WELL, WE'LL SEE YOU.
76
00:03:15,529 --> 00:03:17,798
GEE, YOU'RE JUST LOOKING
JUST MARVELOUS.
77
00:03:17,831 --> 00:03:20,334
THANKS. I'VE TRIED
TO STAY FIT, YOU KNOW.
78
00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:22,503
HERE ON ANOTHER
LITTLE VACATION, HUH?
79
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:23,771
AS A MATTER OF FACT
80
00:03:23,804 --> 00:03:25,906
I'M PLANNING TO STAY
A BIT THIS TIME
81
00:03:25,939 --> 00:03:28,276
AND TRY ME HAND AT
BEING AN AMERICAN.
82
00:03:28,309 --> 00:03:30,544
YOU'RE NOT FIGURING
ON SETTLING IN MAYBERRY?
83
00:03:30,578 --> 00:03:33,247
WELL, I'VE NEVER MET
FRIENDLIER FOLKS ANYWHERE.
84
00:03:33,281 --> 00:03:36,517
WELL, ISN'T THAT THE NICEST
THING YOU EVER HEARD OF?
85
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:39,487
MIND YOU, I HAVE NO INTENTION
OF SPONGING WHILE I'M HERE.
86
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:40,921
I PLAN TO MAKE ME OWN WAY
87
00:03:40,954 --> 00:03:43,524
GET SOME SORT OF POSITION
FOR MESELF, PULL ME WEIGHT.
88
00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,426
MALCOLM MERRIWEATHER
ALWAYS PAYS.
89
00:03:45,459 --> 00:03:47,495
WHY DON'T WE JUST GO
IN THE BARBERSHOP
90
00:03:47,528 --> 00:03:48,929
AND LOOK AT THE BULLETIN BOARD
91
00:03:48,962 --> 00:03:50,798
AND SEE IF WE SEE
ANY JOBS LISTED?
92
00:03:50,831 --> 00:03:52,933
AREN'T YOU KIND.
AREN'T YOU KIND.
93
00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:54,468
WELL...
94
00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:55,803
UH, SEAMSTRESS?
95
00:03:55,836 --> 00:03:57,305
UH, NO, NO, NO.
96
00:03:57,338 --> 00:03:58,572
HAIRDRESSER-- NO.
97
00:03:58,606 --> 00:04:01,575
OH, SAY. FLETCH ROBERTS
OVER AT THE DEPOT
98
00:04:01,609 --> 00:04:03,411
HE NEEDS A BOOKKEEPER.
99
00:04:03,444 --> 00:04:06,280
YOU KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT BOOKKEEPING?
100
00:04:06,314 --> 00:04:07,581
NOT THE FOGGIEST, NO.
101
00:04:07,615 --> 00:04:09,883
MAYBE WE BETTER GO AT IT
THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
102
00:04:09,917 --> 00:04:11,352
WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT?
103
00:04:11,385 --> 00:04:13,020
WELL, THE USUAL THINGS,
YOU KNOW.
104
00:04:13,053 --> 00:04:14,488
UM, LAST SIX YEARS
105
00:04:14,522 --> 00:04:16,023
I WAS
A GENTLEMEN'S GENTLEMAN
106
00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:17,725
TO THE COLONEL--
HIS VALET.
107
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:18,992
A VALET.
108
00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:20,461
A VALET?
109
00:04:20,494 --> 00:04:22,062
WELL, VALET, VALET...
110
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,998
THERE DON'T SEEM
TO BE ANYTHING TODAY.
111
00:04:25,032 --> 00:04:27,000
WHAT ELSE DO YOU
KNOW, MALCOLM?
112
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:29,737
WELL, I KNOW HOW TO KEEP
WINE CELLARS STOCKED
113
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,572
AND, UM...
OH, YES, YES.
114
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:33,541
I TOOK CARE
OF HUNTING BIRDS--
115
00:04:33,574 --> 00:04:34,808
FALCONS, YOU KNOW.
116
00:04:34,842 --> 00:04:36,577
YOU WERE A
FALCON KEEPER?
117
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:37,911
FALCON KEEPER.
118
00:04:37,945 --> 00:04:40,648
FALCON... FALCON KEEPER,
FALCON KEEPER...
119
00:04:40,681 --> 00:04:43,384
WELL, THERE DON'T
SEEM TO BE ANYTHING
120
00:04:43,417 --> 00:04:45,319
FOR FALCON KEEPERS JUST NOW
121
00:04:45,353 --> 00:04:48,656
BUT THE FIRST THING THAT
COMES IN FOR FALCON KEEPING
122
00:04:48,689 --> 00:04:50,658
I WON'T GIVE IT TO NO ONE ELSE.
123
00:04:50,691 --> 00:04:53,327
I'M SURE SOMETHING
WILL TURN UP.
124
00:04:53,361 --> 00:04:55,463
OH, SURE IT WILL.
125
00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:56,730
HI, ANDY, FLOYD.
126
00:04:56,764 --> 00:04:57,998
OH, HEY, GOOBER.
127
00:04:58,031 --> 00:04:59,733
MALCOLM, YOU
REMEMBER GOOBER
128
00:04:59,767 --> 00:05:01,602
WHO WORKS OVER AT
THE FILLING STATION.
129
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,871
OH, MOST CERTAINLY.
HOW DO YOU DO, GOOBER?
130
00:05:03,904 --> 00:05:05,072
HEY, MALCOLM.
131
00:05:05,105 --> 00:05:06,940
I WAS THE FIRST
ONE TO SEE YOU
132
00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:08,842
WHEN YOU RODE
PAST THE STATION.
133
00:05:08,876 --> 00:05:11,745
SAW YOU BEFORE ANYBODY--
FLOYD, ANDY-- ANY OF THEM.
134
00:05:11,779 --> 00:05:13,847
I SEEN YOU FIRST
JUST PEDALING ALONG.
135
00:05:13,881 --> 00:05:15,483
OH, YOU DID?
YEP.
136
00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:17,785
YOU NEED ANY HELP
AT THE FILLING STATION?
137
00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:19,620
MEAN TO TELL YOU
WE'RE BUSY.
138
00:05:19,653 --> 00:05:21,021
MALCOLM IS LOOKING
FOR WORK.
139
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:22,623
YOU KNOW ANYTHING
ABOUT CARS?
140
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:23,957
OH, YES.
I WAS QUITE A HAND
141
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:25,693
AT TINKERING
WITH THE FAMILY CAR.
142
00:05:25,726 --> 00:05:28,629
WELL, WHAT SORT OF WORK
DID YOU DO ON THE FAMILY CAR?
143
00:05:28,662 --> 00:05:30,431
WELL, GENERAL THINGS,
YOU KNOW.
144
00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:33,000
I TOOK CARE OF ALL THE
MECHANICISM UNDER THE BONNET.
145
00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:36,604
WELL, I GUESS THAT
MEANS "HOOD."
146
00:05:36,637 --> 00:05:39,072
AND ON OCCASION, I'D ADJUST
THE ANTI-BOUND SLIPS
147
00:05:39,106 --> 00:05:41,709
OR TAKE A DING OUT OF THE WING
ON THE DROP HEAD
148
00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:44,778
AND IF NEED BE, I COULD ALWAYS
DICKEY UP THE HOOTER, TOO.
149
00:05:44,812 --> 00:05:47,948
YOU SAY YOU'D DICKEY UP
THE HOOTER?
150
00:05:49,149 --> 00:05:51,385
WELL.
151
00:05:54,722 --> 00:05:58,125
Ernest T.:
I'M GOING TO GET YOU!
152
00:05:58,158 --> 00:06:00,628
HOLD UP!
YOU WANT TO HOLD UP, THERE!
153
00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:05,999
ERNEST T.!
154
00:06:06,033 --> 00:06:07,468
OH, HOWDY, SHERIFF.
155
00:06:07,501 --> 00:06:09,870
MIGHTY NICE OF YOU TO
COME VISIT WITH ME.
156
00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:11,505
ERNEST T.,
I WARNED YOU.
157
00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:13,907
YOU SAID ROCKS.
DIDN'T SAY NOTHING
ABOUT NO BRICKS.
158
00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:15,809
YOU KNEW WHAT I MEANT.
YOU'RE FIRED.
159
00:06:15,843 --> 00:06:17,545
OH, SHERIFF,
YOU'RE FUNNIN' ME.
160
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:19,980
I WAS NEVER MORE SERIOUS
IN MY LIFE.
161
00:06:20,013 --> 00:06:22,450
SHERIFF, IF YOU
FIRE ME, I'LL
BECOME YOUR ENEMY
162
00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:24,452
YOUR SWORN ENEMY FOR
LIFE, EVER AND EVER.
163
00:06:24,485 --> 00:06:25,653
GIVE ME THE CAP.
164
00:06:25,686 --> 00:06:27,187
MY CAP? OH, NO, YOU
CAN'T HAVE THAT CAP.
165
00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,056
GIVE ME THE CAP.
NO, YOU CAN'T HAVE MY...
166
00:06:29,089 --> 00:06:31,892
I WOULDN'T LET
YOU HAVE MY CAP.
167
00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:33,861
YOU CAN'T HAVE MY...
168
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,062
CAP.
169
00:06:35,095 --> 00:06:36,564
OH, YOU DONE
TOOK MY CAP
170
00:06:36,597 --> 00:06:38,165
WHICH IS THE SYMBOL
OF MY PROFESSION.
171
00:06:38,198 --> 00:06:39,933
PICK UP YOUR MONEY
AT THE COURTHOUSE.
172
00:06:39,967 --> 00:06:41,469
HOW MUCH IT
GOING TO BE?
173
00:06:41,502 --> 00:06:43,003
WELL, IT'S NOT
GOING TO BE $12
174
00:06:43,036 --> 00:06:44,104
I CAN TELL YOU THAT.
175
00:06:44,137 --> 00:06:46,006
WILL IT BE
AT LEAST $16?
176
00:06:46,039 --> 00:06:47,475
NO, MORE LIKE $5.
177
00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:48,909
YOU JUST STARTED.
178
00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:51,612
THAT AIN'T ENOUGH FOR NO
TENT NOR NO LANTERN, $5.
179
00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:54,047
I THINK I'LL GET ME
A JOB AS A DOCTOR.
180
00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:57,050
ALL RIGHT, ERNEST T.,
YOU DON'T WORK HERE ANYMORE
181
00:06:57,084 --> 00:06:59,987
SO JUST TAKE YOUR SACK
AND GO ON BACK TO THE WOODS.
182
00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:01,589
ALL RIGHT, SHERIFF.
183
00:07:01,622 --> 00:07:03,924
SEEING AS HOW I GOT
ONE MORE BRICK LEFT
184
00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:06,694
IT'S A SIN TO BE WASTEFUL!
185
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,473
WELL, ANDY,
I REALLY FEEL
186
00:07:19,507 --> 00:07:21,475
THIS IS MATCHING
THE MAN TO THE JOB.
187
00:07:21,509 --> 00:07:22,676
GOOD.
188
00:07:22,710 --> 00:07:23,944
I WAS IN THE COLDSTREAM
GUARD, YOU KNOW.
189
00:07:23,977 --> 00:07:25,713
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
190
00:07:25,746 --> 00:07:29,016
OH, YES. I WAS VALET
TO THE COMMANDING
OFFICER, OF COURSE.
191
00:07:29,049 --> 00:07:31,118
MIND YOU, IF THERE'D
BEEN ANY FIGHTING
192
00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:34,021
YOU CAN BET A BOB I'D HAVE
BEEN IN THE THICK OF IT.
193
00:07:34,054 --> 00:07:36,156
'COURSE YOU WOULD,
'COURSE YOU WOULD.
194
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:37,525
HI, SHERIFF TAYLOR.
195
00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:38,692
HI, SHERIFF TAYLOR.
196
00:07:38,726 --> 00:07:40,794
OH, HI, BOYS.
I'D LIKE YOU TO MEET
197
00:07:40,828 --> 00:07:42,162
MR. MALCOLM MERRIWEATHER.
198
00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:44,231
HE'S GOING TO BE
IN CHARGE OF THE CROSSING.
199
00:07:44,264 --> 00:07:45,533
HELLO, LADS.
200
00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:46,700
Boys:
HI.
201
00:07:46,734 --> 00:07:48,902
NOW, MR. MERRIWEATHER'S
A REAL EXPERT
202
00:07:48,936 --> 00:07:50,170
AT THIS KIND OF THING
203
00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:52,239
SO YOU DO EXACTLY
AS HE SAYS, OKAY?
204
00:07:52,272 --> 00:07:53,941
Boys:
YES, SIR.
205
00:07:53,974 --> 00:07:56,944
SEE, HE WAS WITH A VERY
FAMOUS REGIMENT IN ENGLAND
206
00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:58,245
CALLED
THE COLDSTREAM GUARDS
207
00:07:58,278 --> 00:08:00,681
SO YOU PAY CLOSE
ATTENTION, RIGHT?
208
00:08:00,714 --> 00:08:01,949
Boys:
RIGHT.
209
00:08:01,982 --> 00:08:03,116
RIGHT.
210
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:05,586
OKAY, MALCOLM, I GUESS
THAT'S ABOUT IT.
211
00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:10,023
OH.
212
00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:11,124
RIGHT.
213
00:08:11,158 --> 00:08:12,593
OKAY. BYE, BOYS.
214
00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:13,861
Boys:
BYE.
215
00:08:13,894 --> 00:08:16,129
ALL RIGHT, LADS,
NOW, YOU STAY THERE
216
00:08:16,163 --> 00:08:18,766
WHILE I SEE
IF THE ROAD IS CLEAR.
217
00:08:38,051 --> 00:08:39,286
COME ON, MEN!
218
00:08:39,319 --> 00:08:41,555
PROCEED IN CLOSE ORDER!
219
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:09,182
THAT MALCOLM'S
REALLY SOMETHING.
220
00:09:09,216 --> 00:09:11,619
HE'S A COLD-CREAM GUARD,
YOU KNOW.
221
00:09:11,652 --> 00:09:14,655
HE IS?
I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.
222
00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:17,024
YEAH, THEM COLD-CREAM GUARDS
ARE FEARLESS.
223
00:09:17,057 --> 00:09:20,060
THEY ARE?
224
00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:34,875
MALCOLM'S SOMETHING,
ALL RIGHT.
225
00:09:34,908 --> 00:09:38,078
ALL THEM ENGLISH SURE
ARE INTERESTING PEOPLE.
226
00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:40,213
DID YOU KNOW CARY GRANT
WAS ENGLISH?
227
00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:43,083
HE WAS?
HE WAS ENGLISH, HUH?
228
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:44,885
I DO A IMITATION OF HIM.
229
00:09:44,918 --> 00:09:46,153
MALCOLM?
230
00:09:46,186 --> 00:09:48,155
NO, CARY GRANT.
231
00:09:48,188 --> 00:09:49,623
LISTEN.
232
00:09:49,657 --> 00:09:51,825
JUDY, JUDY, JUDY.
233
00:09:51,859 --> 00:09:54,161
CARY GRANT SAID THAT?
234
00:09:54,194 --> 00:09:55,362
YEAH.
235
00:09:55,395 --> 00:09:57,097
WHAT WAS HE DRIVING AT?
236
00:09:57,130 --> 00:09:59,232
HE WASN'T DRIVING
AT NOTHING.
237
00:09:59,266 --> 00:10:02,235
THAT WAS A GIRL'S NAME
IN A PICTURE-- JUDY.
238
00:10:02,269 --> 00:10:04,104
OH, THAT'S A PRETTY NAME.
239
00:10:04,137 --> 00:10:06,774
THAT'S A LOVELY
NAME, YEAH.
240
00:10:06,807 --> 00:10:07,841
MMM.
241
00:10:16,149 --> 00:10:17,785
WHO IS THAT
242
00:10:17,818 --> 00:10:19,920
THAT'S THE FELLER
THAT TOOK YOUR JOB.
243
00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,689
MALCOLM MERRIWEATHER.
244
00:10:23,290 --> 00:10:26,259
THAT'S THE FELLER
THAT TOOK MY JOB?
245
00:10:31,364 --> 00:10:33,734
LOOKS LIKE A OCTOPUS.
246
00:10:42,375 --> 00:10:44,311
CERTAINLY ENJOYING
THIS POSITION
247
00:10:44,344 --> 00:10:46,680
LOOKING AFTER ALL
THE LOVELY CHILDREN.
248
00:10:46,714 --> 00:10:48,181
SEEING THEY
GET HOME SAFE
249
00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:50,017
TO THEIR MOMMIES
AND DADDIES.
250
00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:54,688
OH, HELLO.
251
00:10:54,722 --> 00:10:57,390
ANOTHER ONE OF MAYBERRY'S
PROUD CITIZENS, I PRESUME.
252
00:10:57,424 --> 00:10:58,892
I DON'T BELIEVE I'VE HAD
253
00:10:58,926 --> 00:11:01,328
THE PLEASURE OF YOUR
ACQUAINTANCE, OLD CHAP.
254
00:11:01,361 --> 00:11:03,130
ENGLISH!
YOU'RE ENGLISH!
255
00:11:03,163 --> 00:11:06,099
I COULD TELL BY THE WAY YOU
SLITHER THROUGH THEM WORDS.
256
00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:08,068
NOTHING WRONG
WITH A MAN BEING ENGLISH.
257
00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:09,436
THEY IS IF'N
YOU'RE IRISH.
258
00:11:09,469 --> 00:11:11,304
MY PA AND MA
WERE BOTH IRISH
259
00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:14,207
AND THAT MAKES ME IRISH
SINCE I SPRUNG OFF ON 'EM.
260
00:11:14,241 --> 00:11:16,977
I AM THE PROUD PRODUCT
OF THEIR MARITAL BLISS.
261
00:11:17,010 --> 00:11:18,345
YOU ENGLISHTER.
262
00:11:18,378 --> 00:11:20,147
YOU DONE TOOK MY JOB.
263
00:11:20,180 --> 00:11:23,050
YOU RUINED MY MATRIMONY
TO MY BELOVED ROMEENA.
264
00:11:23,083 --> 00:11:24,451
YOU ENGLISHTER.
265
00:11:24,484 --> 00:11:28,355
YOU LOW DOWN, ORNERY,
NO GOOD, SKUNKY ENGLISHTER.
266
00:11:28,388 --> 00:11:31,358
HEY, NOW, THAT'S BEING
RATHER IMPOLITE.
267
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:34,962
I AM POLITE TO MY BESTERS,
AND Y ARE MY WORSTERS.
268
00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:36,797
YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?
269
00:11:36,830 --> 00:11:38,732
I AM GOING
TO WHUP UP ON YOU.
270
00:11:38,766 --> 00:11:40,500
NOW, LEAVE HIM
ALONE, ERNEST T.!
271
00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:41,835
ERNEST T.!
272
00:11:41,869 --> 00:11:43,103
I'M GOING TO WHUP YOU!
273
00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:44,237
COME ON, FIGHT!
274
00:11:44,271 --> 00:11:45,505
LEAVE HIM ALONE,
ERNEST T.
275
00:11:45,538 --> 00:11:46,840
ERNEST T.,
GO ON HOME!
276
00:11:46,874 --> 00:11:49,309
STOP THAT! STOP IT!
277
00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:51,779
COME ON, COME ON.
278
00:11:51,812 --> 00:11:52,846
COME ON AND FIGHT!
279
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:53,981
PUT UP YOUR KNUCKLES!
280
00:11:54,014 --> 00:11:55,182
GET!
281
00:11:55,215 --> 00:11:57,050
LOOK AT HIM!
HE DON'T DO NOTHING.
282
00:11:57,084 --> 00:11:59,286
HE JUST STAND THERE
WHUPPIN' AT ME WITH HIS HAT.
283
00:11:59,319 --> 00:12:00,854
COME ON, FIGHT, YOU!
284
00:12:00,888 --> 00:12:03,523
I NEVER DID FIGHT NO MAN,
BEAR, NOR MOUNTAIN LION
285
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,158
WHAT DIDN'T DEFEND HISSELF!
286
00:12:05,192 --> 00:12:06,326
SEE HERE, NOW!
287
00:12:06,359 --> 00:12:08,862
ALL RIGHT,
IF YOU DON'T DEFEND YOURSELF
288
00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:10,230
I'M GOING TO JUMP ON YOU.
289
00:12:10,263 --> 00:12:11,799
I'M GOING TO GET UP HERE
290
00:12:11,832 --> 00:12:14,067
AND I'M GOING
TO LET YOU HAVE IT, NOW.
291
00:12:14,101 --> 00:12:15,769
ONE, TWO, AND A THREE! HEY!
292
00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:19,940
COME ON BACK HERE
AND FIGHT, YOU!
293
00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:21,208
I'M WARNING YOU!
294
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:22,475
TODAY IS THURSDAY.
295
00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:24,477
IF YOU'RE STILL
HERE ON...
296
00:12:24,511 --> 00:12:26,880
WHAT'S THE DAY
AFTER THURSDAY?
297
00:12:26,914 --> 00:12:27,948
FRIDAY.
298
00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:29,817
IF YOU'RE STILL
HERE ON FRIDAY--
299
00:12:29,850 --> 00:12:31,518
WHICH IS THE DAY
AFTER THURSDAY--
300
00:12:31,551 --> 00:12:33,821
I'M GOING TO WHUP
THE FIRE OUT OF YOU!
301
00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:52,539
YOU OUGHT TO HAVE
SEEN IT, ANDY.
302
00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:54,507
WELL, WHAT DID ERNEST T. DO?
303
00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:55,976
HOLD IT, ANDY.
304
00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:57,377
TIGHTEN THAT LOWER LIP.
305
00:12:57,410 --> 00:12:58,846
THERE...
306
00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:01,114
NOW, TRY AND MOVE IT AROUND
A LITTLE BIT.
307
00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:02,850
FEEL ALL RIGHT?
MM-HMM.
308
00:13:02,883 --> 00:13:05,385
WELL, THAT'S GOOD,
'CAUSE IT'S KIND OF TRICKY.
309
00:13:05,418 --> 00:13:06,920
WHAT DID ERNEST T. DO?
310
00:13:06,954 --> 00:13:09,189
MALCOLM WAS WALKING
ACROSS THE STREET
311
00:13:09,222 --> 00:13:10,457
LIKE A COLD-CREAM
GUARD...
312
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:11,825
COLDSTREAM.
313
00:13:11,859 --> 00:13:13,460
AND ERNEST T. CALLED
HIM AN ENGLISHTER
314
00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:15,328
AND TRIED TO FIGHT
HIM RIGHT THERE.
315
00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:16,830
TRIED TO FIGHT HIM?
316
00:13:16,864 --> 00:13:18,198
YEAH, 'CAUSE HE'S ENGLISH.
317
00:13:18,231 --> 00:13:20,500
WELL, ERNEST T. COULD KILL HIM.
DID THEY FIGHT?
318
00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:22,535
NO, BUT THE LAST THING
ERNEST T. SAID WAS
319
00:13:22,569 --> 00:13:25,005
IF HE'S IN TOWN TOMORROW,
HE'S GOING TO WHUP HIM.
320
00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:27,140
YOU THINK HE'LL GO
OR YOU THINK HE'LL STAY?
321
00:13:27,174 --> 00:13:29,342
I DON'T KNOW.
WHAT DO YOU
THINK, ANDY?
322
00:13:29,376 --> 00:13:30,810
HURRY UP, FLOYD.
323
00:13:35,248 --> 00:13:36,917
Boy:
ALL RIGHT, MEN
324
00:13:36,950 --> 00:13:39,252
PROCEED IN CLOSE ORDER.
325
00:14:08,015 --> 00:14:09,416
HEY, GOOBER?
326
00:14:09,449 --> 00:14:12,152
GOOBER, MALCOLM IN THERE?
327
00:14:12,185 --> 00:14:13,253
HEY, ANDY. YEAH.
328
00:14:13,286 --> 00:14:14,521
HELLO, SHERIFF.
329
00:14:14,554 --> 00:14:16,323
WHAT'S ALL THIS STUFF
DOING ON YOUR BICYCLE?
330
00:14:16,356 --> 00:14:18,258
ARE YOU LEAVING
TOWN OR SOMETHING?
331
00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:19,927
WELL, IT HAD
OCCURRED TO ME
332
00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:21,661
BUT THERE'S BEEN
A CHANGE OF PLAN.
333
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:23,030
I'M... I'M STAYING ON.
334
00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:25,065
WELL, I'M GLAD TO
HEAR THAT, MALCOLM.
335
00:14:25,098 --> 00:14:27,134
I MIGHT HAVE TO DO
A BIT OF FIGHTING
336
00:14:27,167 --> 00:14:28,568
BUT IT'S ALL IN A DAY'S WORK.
337
00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:30,037
NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, MALCOLM.
338
00:14:30,070 --> 00:14:31,671
I'LL TAKE CARE
OF ERNEST T. BASS.
339
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:34,674
NO, PLEASE. WE'VE ALREADY
DISPATCHED A RUNNER TO THE HILLS
340
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,409
INFORMING HIM THAT I'M STAYING.
341
00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:37,544
NOW, LISTEN...
342
00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:39,412
IF HE WANTS TO DO
ANYTHING ABOUT IT
343
00:14:39,446 --> 00:14:42,182
I'M PREPARED TO GIVE HIM
SATISFACTION AT NOON TOMORROW.
344
00:14:42,215 --> 00:14:44,151
HE WANTS TO FIGHT
IN BACK OF THE GARAGE.
345
00:14:44,184 --> 00:14:45,152
NO FIGHTING.
346
00:14:45,185 --> 00:14:47,020
NO FIGHTING.
NO, ANDY, PLEASE
347
00:14:47,054 --> 00:14:49,957
THIS WHOLE MATTER HAS BECOME
RATHER IMPORTANT TO ME.
348
00:14:49,990 --> 00:14:51,424
HE WANTS ME
TO TRAIN HIM.
349
00:14:51,458 --> 00:14:52,993
LISTEN, MALCOLM...
350
00:14:53,026 --> 00:14:55,328
WHY, WITH ALL MY CYCLING,
I'M AS FIT AS A FIDDLE.
351
00:14:55,362 --> 00:14:58,498
JUST NEED A LITTLE BRUSHING UP
ON ME TECHNIQUE, THAT'S ALL.
352
00:14:58,531 --> 00:15:00,400
I'LL GO AND GET
THE EQUIPMENT.
353
00:15:00,433 --> 00:15:02,535
YOU DON'T SEEM
TO UNDERSTAND, MALCOLM
354
00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,071
I CAN'T LET YOU
GO THROUGH WITH THIS.
355
00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:05,305
ANDY...
356
00:15:05,338 --> 00:15:08,241
THERE COMES A TIME
WHEN A MAN HAS TO FIGHT
357
00:15:08,275 --> 00:15:11,211
AND IF REMAINING IN MAYBERRY
MEANS FIGHTING MR. BASS
358
00:15:11,244 --> 00:15:12,579
THAT IS IT.
359
00:15:14,181 --> 00:15:15,582
ERNEST T. WILL KILL HIM.
360
00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:18,418
I'LL TEACH MALCOLM
EVERYTHING I KNOW, ANDY.
361
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:21,521
YOU KNOW, I USED TO BE A
BULLY WHEN I WAS YOUNGER.
362
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,358
ERNEST T. WILL KILL HIM.
363
00:15:32,765 --> 00:15:35,302
ERNEST T.!
364
00:15:36,436 --> 00:15:38,671
ERNEST T. BASS!
365
00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:48,581
HEY, QUIT THROWING ROCKS,
ERNEST T.!
366
00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:50,583
IT'S ME, SHERIFF TAYLOR!
367
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,352
COME ON UP, SHERIFF!
368
00:15:52,385 --> 00:15:55,555
I THOUGHT IT WAS
THE WIDOW BRADSHAW.
369
00:16:06,233 --> 00:16:08,035
HOWDY, SHERIFF.
370
00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:10,437
I'M IN TRAINING FOR THE FIGHT.
371
00:16:24,317 --> 00:16:26,653
ERNEST T., I WANT YOU
TO CALL OFF THIS FIGHT.
372
00:16:26,686 --> 00:16:29,456
NOW, LOOK HERE, I AIN'T
A-CALLIN' OFF NOTHIN'!
373
00:16:29,489 --> 00:16:32,459
THAT ENGLISHTER HAS JUST
ABOUT RUINED MY LIFE.
374
00:16:32,492 --> 00:16:34,427
IF BY ANY CHANCE
HE HAPPENS TO BE
375
00:16:34,461 --> 00:16:36,663
BEHIND THAT GARAGE
TOMORROW AT HIGH NOON--
376
00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:39,699
WHICH I DO DOUBT--
I'M GOING TO FLING
MYSELF AT HIM...
377
00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:41,568
ALL 112 BEAUTIFUL
POUNDS OF ME.
378
00:16:41,601 --> 00:16:43,070
NOW, LISTEN, ERNEST T....
379
00:16:43,103 --> 00:16:44,337
I ALREADY BEAT UP ON HIM
380
00:16:44,371 --> 00:16:46,406
HERE ON THIS BAG
FIVE TIMES ALREADY.
381
00:16:46,439 --> 00:16:47,707
ERNEST T., QUIT A MINUTE!
382
00:16:47,740 --> 00:16:49,409
SUPPOSE I WAS TO TELL YOU
383
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:52,312
THAT I WOULD JUST THROW YOU
IN JAIL IF YOU DON'T BACK OFF.
384
00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:54,181
WOULDN'T MAKE ME
NO NEVER MIND.
385
00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:56,116
I LIKES A LITTLE HIGH
LIVING NOW AND AGAIN.
386
00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:57,717
YOU MAY NOT BELIEVE THIS
387
00:16:57,750 --> 00:17:00,787
BUT I HAPPEN TO BE
NOTHING BUT A LITTLE
OLD COUNTRY BOY.
388
00:17:00,820 --> 00:17:02,689
SO I'D HAVE SOME
SECOND THOUGHTS
389
00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:04,457
ABOUT CALLING OFF
THAT FIGHT.
390
00:17:04,491 --> 00:17:06,259
SEEING'S THE WAY
MALCOLM FEELS
391
00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:07,460
I DON'T SEE HOW I CAN.
392
00:17:07,494 --> 00:17:09,196
YOU'RE SWEET.
393
00:17:09,229 --> 00:17:12,065
SHERIFF, YOU ARE SWEET.
394
00:17:12,099 --> 00:17:14,601
NOW, AS I UNDERSTAND IT,
THE IDEA WOULD BE
395
00:17:14,634 --> 00:17:17,504
TO STRIKE HIM AT THE BASE
OF THE CHIN, IF POSSIBLE.
396
00:17:17,537 --> 00:17:21,374
NO, MALCOLM. IN THE MOUTH.
RIGHT IN THE MOUTH.
397
00:17:21,408 --> 00:17:25,078
NOW,
PUT YOUR LEFT OUT.
398
00:17:25,112 --> 00:17:27,414
MALCOLM, THIS ONE --
YOUR LEFT.
399
00:17:27,447 --> 00:17:29,182
YOUR RIGHT BACK.
400
00:17:29,216 --> 00:17:31,751
NOW, I'M GONNA TRY TO HIT YOU,
AND I WANT YOU TO BLOCK IT.
401
00:17:31,784 --> 00:17:33,253
ALL RIGHT?
YEAH.
402
00:17:33,286 --> 00:17:34,821
NOW, HERE WE GO.
403
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:38,791
HERE IT COMES, NOW.
404
00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:44,331
HOW WAS THAT?
405
00:17:44,364 --> 00:17:46,366
OH, THAT'S GOOD, MALCOLM,
REAL GOOD.
406
00:17:46,399 --> 00:17:47,700
YOU'RE IMPROVING.
407
00:17:47,734 --> 00:17:49,369
I DIDN'T HURT YOU,
DID I?
408
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:51,471
NO. BUT, MALCOLM,
THERE'S ONE LITTLE THING
409
00:17:51,504 --> 00:17:52,805
YOU GOT TO REMEMBER.
410
00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:54,807
WHEN YOU SEE THE RIGHT
COMING AT YOU,
411
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:57,344
SHOVE IT OUT OF THE WAY.
412
00:17:57,377 --> 00:17:59,879
OH, I SEE!
413
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:03,183
WHAT A CAPITAL IDEA!
YES!
414
00:18:05,685 --> 00:18:08,821
WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE
YOU ALL ARE HARD AT IT.
415
00:18:08,855 --> 00:18:10,223
HOW'S IT COMING?
416
00:18:10,257 --> 00:18:12,125
SMASHING,
JUST SMASHING.
417
00:18:12,159 --> 00:18:13,293
EH, GOOBER?
418
00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:15,862
OH, YEAH, MALCOLM,
UH, GOOD, REAL GOOD.
419
00:18:15,895 --> 00:18:17,897
YOU BETTER GO
SKIP SOME ROPE NOW.
420
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:19,132
RIGHT.
421
00:18:19,166 --> 00:18:21,301
ANDY...
422
00:18:21,334 --> 00:18:23,336
HOW'S IT COMING?
423
00:18:23,370 --> 00:18:25,338
Goober:
THAT'S THE
WAY, MALCOLM.
424
00:18:25,372 --> 00:18:26,839
HE'S GOING TO GET KILLED.
425
00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:29,176
I THOUGHT YOU
WERE TEACHING HIM.
426
00:18:29,209 --> 00:18:31,378
I'D JUST AS SOON
TEACH MY GRANDMA.
427
00:18:31,411 --> 00:18:33,880
LOST A BIT OF ME RHYTHM.
428
00:18:33,913 --> 00:18:35,782
I'M AFRAID HE'S GOING
TO STRANGLE HIMSELF
429
00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:37,250
BEFORE THE FIGHT.
430
00:18:37,284 --> 00:18:38,451
UNTIE YOURSELF, MALCOLM.
431
00:18:38,485 --> 00:18:39,719
WORK ON THE PUNCHING BAG.
432
00:18:39,752 --> 00:18:41,454
HE'S GOING TO GET KILLED.
433
00:18:50,630 --> 00:18:52,332
WELL, ANDY,
ALL I CAN SAY IS
434
00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:54,367
IF THIS FIGHT
GOES ON TOMORROW
435
00:18:54,401 --> 00:18:55,868
MALCOLM MAY NOT GET KILLED
436
00:18:55,902 --> 00:18:58,571
BUT HE'S SURE EVER MORE
GONNA GET BRUISED.
437
00:18:59,872 --> 00:19:02,675
IT'S A CRIME,
IT'S JUST A CRIME.
438
00:19:02,709 --> 00:19:04,877
I HOPE MALCOLM
DON'T SHOW UP.
439
00:19:04,911 --> 00:19:05,878
YEAH.
440
00:19:05,912 --> 00:19:07,380
MAYBE HE WON'T.
441
00:19:07,414 --> 00:19:09,349
IT'D BE THE
BEST THING
442
00:19:09,382 --> 00:19:10,683
BUT... IT'S 12:00.
443
00:19:10,717 --> 00:19:13,620
MALCOLM, DON'T COME
THROUGH THAT GATE.
444
00:19:13,653 --> 00:19:16,656
PLEASE DON'T COME
THROUGH THAT GATE.
445
00:19:22,529 --> 00:19:23,930
GENTLEMEN.
446
00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:30,803
MALCOLM, I CAN'T LET YOU
GO THROUGH WITH THIS.
447
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:33,340
STAND BACK. THE CHALLENGE
HAS BEEN MADE
448
00:19:33,373 --> 00:19:34,741
AND HAS BEEN ACCEPTED.
449
00:19:39,379 --> 00:19:41,514
MALCOLM, DO YOU REMEMBER
EVERYTHING I TOLD YOU?
450
00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:42,815
I THINK SO, YES.
451
00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:44,917
ALL RIGHT, NOW, THE MAIN THING
TO DO IS RETREAT
452
00:19:44,951 --> 00:19:47,387
AND KEEP RETREATING,
AND IF HE COMES NEAR YOU
453
00:19:47,420 --> 00:19:49,756
RETREAT SOME MORE...
AND KEEP YOUR FACE COVERED.
454
00:19:49,789 --> 00:19:50,990
KEEP EVERYTHING COVERED.
455
00:19:51,023 --> 00:19:53,626
JUST RETREAT
AND STAY COVERED.
456
00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:56,796
I BROUGHT THIS TOWEL
OVER FROM THE SHOP.
457
00:19:56,829 --> 00:20:00,567
I'D LIKE TO THROW IT IN
BEFORE THE FIGHT STARTS.
458
00:20:00,600 --> 00:20:03,703
UH... PAINKILLERS.
459
00:20:08,841 --> 00:20:11,311
WRONG OR RIGHT,
I'M HERE TO FIGHT
460
00:20:11,344 --> 00:20:13,413
UNLESS YOU RUN AWAY WITH FRIGHT.
461
00:20:13,446 --> 00:20:15,014
AND IF YOU WONDER WHO I BE
462
00:20:15,047 --> 00:20:17,284
IT'S ME, IT'S ME, IT'S ERNEST T.
463
00:20:18,585 --> 00:20:20,787
YEE!
464
00:20:20,820 --> 00:20:22,555
I'M GOING TO TELL
YOU ONE MORE TIME
465
00:20:22,589 --> 00:20:23,756
IF YOU GO THROUGH WITH THIS
466
00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:25,425
I'M GOING TO THROW
YOU IN JAIL.
467
00:20:25,458 --> 00:20:27,026
I DON'T CARE, SHERIFF.
I DON'T CARE.
468
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:28,828
LIKE I JUST TOLD YOU,
I DO NOT CARE.
469
00:20:28,861 --> 00:20:30,763
WHY DO YOU WANT
TO FIGHT HIM?
470
00:20:30,797 --> 00:20:33,833
BECAUSE HE IS AN ENGLISHTER,
AND HENCE-- I HATES HIM.
471
00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:36,836
WHY DO YOU HATE
HIM BECAUSE HE'S
AN ENGLISHTER?
472
00:20:36,869 --> 00:20:39,439
BECAUSE I AM IRISH,
AND MY MOMMY TOLD ME
473
00:20:39,472 --> 00:20:42,275
AS AN IRISHMAN, I HAVE
TO HATE ALL ENGLISHTERS.
474
00:20:42,309 --> 00:20:44,844
NOW, I ALWAYS DO
WHAT MY MOMMY TELLS ME.
475
00:20:44,877 --> 00:20:46,713
'SIDES THAT, HE TOOK MY JOB
476
00:20:46,746 --> 00:20:50,550
AND HE RUINED MY MATRIMONIAL
PLANS WITH MY BELOVED ROMEENA.
477
00:20:50,583 --> 00:20:52,385
HENCE-- I HATES HIM.
478
00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:55,688
NOW, IF YOU WILL EXCUSE ME,
I REQUIRES NOT TO SOIL MY VEST.
479
00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:02,729
WHEN DO I SHAKE
HANDS WITH HIM?
480
00:21:02,762 --> 00:21:03,996
OH, YOU DON'T SHAKE HANDS.
481
00:21:04,030 --> 00:21:05,898
YOU JUST KEEP COVERED
AND RETREAT.
482
00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:07,967
WELL, YOU MIGHT
AS WELL GO AT IT
483
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,469
HADN'T YOU, ERNEST T.?
484
00:21:09,502 --> 00:21:10,870
RIGHT.
485
00:21:10,903 --> 00:21:12,972
IT'S GOING TO BE FUN
SEEING TWO IRISHMEN FIGHTING.
486
00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:17,844
BEEN HAVING A LITTLE TROUBLE
WITH MY HEARING LATELY.
487
00:21:17,877 --> 00:21:19,579
WHAT WAS THAT
YOU JUST SAID?
488
00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:22,649
I SAID IT'S GOING
TO BE FUN SEEING TWO
IRISHMEN FIGHTING.
489
00:21:22,682 --> 00:21:23,916
WHO'S T'OTHER ONE?
490
00:21:23,950 --> 00:21:25,385
WHY, MALCOLM.
491
00:21:25,418 --> 00:21:27,754
DIDN'T YOU KNOW
HIS MOTHER'S IRISH?
492
00:21:27,787 --> 00:21:29,356
MALCOLM?
YEAH.
493
00:21:29,389 --> 00:21:30,857
HIS MOTHER'S IRISH?
494
00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:32,559
UH-HUH. FROM COUNTY CORK.
495
00:21:33,793 --> 00:21:34,861
COUNTY CORK?
496
00:21:34,894 --> 00:21:36,429
YEAH.
497
00:21:36,463 --> 00:21:37,897
WELL, NEVER LET IT BE SAID
498
00:21:37,930 --> 00:21:41,768
THAT ERNEST T. BASS EVER SPILLED
A DROP OF IRISH BLOOD.
499
00:21:41,801 --> 00:21:43,870
NOT ONE DROP OF IRISH BLOOD
500
00:21:43,903 --> 00:21:47,707
WILL ERNEST T. BASS
EVER BE ACCUSED OF SPILLING.
501
00:21:52,879 --> 00:21:56,383
MALCOLM, I AIN'T GONNA TOUCH
A HAIR ON YOUR HEAD.
502
00:21:56,416 --> 00:21:58,117
YOU'RE MY FRIEND,
MY TRUE FRIEND.
503
00:21:58,150 --> 00:22:01,388
I DON'T CARE IF YOU DID
TAKE MY JOB AWAY FROM ME
504
00:22:01,421 --> 00:22:04,824
AND RUIN MY MATRIMONIAL CHANCES
WITH MY BELOVED ROMEENA.
505
00:22:04,857 --> 00:22:08,361
YOU'RE MY FRIEND, MALCOLM...
MY BOSOM PAL!
506
00:22:08,395 --> 00:22:10,897
I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!
507
00:22:10,930 --> 00:22:13,466
I LOVE YOU!
508
00:22:19,506 --> 00:22:21,508
YOU KNOW,
I STILL CAN'T UNDERSTAND
509
00:22:21,541 --> 00:22:23,109
HE SUDDEN CHANGE
IN ATTITUDE.
510
00:22:23,142 --> 00:22:26,012
WELL, IT'S JUST ONE OF THOSE
THINGS, I GUESS, MALCOLM.
511
00:22:26,045 --> 00:22:28,815
POSSIBLY, HE REALIZED
AT THE LAST MOMENT
512
00:22:28,848 --> 00:22:31,017
HE WAS ABOUT
TO MEET HIS MATCH, EH?
513
00:22:31,050 --> 00:22:34,053
THAT COULD BE IT.
514
00:22:34,086 --> 00:22:36,155
I SEE YOU.
YOU CAN'T SEE ME.
515
00:22:36,188 --> 00:22:38,157
PEEK-A-BEE,
IT'S ERNEST T.
516
00:22:38,190 --> 00:22:39,692
HOWDY SHERIFF.
517
00:22:39,726 --> 00:22:42,995
HOWDY...BOSOM PAL.
518
00:22:43,029 --> 00:22:44,697
NICE TO SEE YOU,
ERNEST.
519
00:22:44,731 --> 00:22:46,966
I DROPPED BY TO INVITE YOU
UP TO MY CAVE TO EAT --
520
00:22:46,999 --> 00:22:49,536
GOT SOME POSSUM STEAKS --
NICE AND TENDER.
521
00:22:49,569 --> 00:22:51,438
BEEN BEATING AT 'EM
WITH A STICK!
522
00:22:51,471 --> 00:22:52,972
CERTAINLY KIND OF YOU.
523
00:22:53,005 --> 00:22:55,642
AIN'T NOTHIN' TOO GOOD
FOR MY BOSOM PAL.
524
00:22:56,943 --> 00:22:58,745
SO GRACIOUS.
525
00:22:58,778 --> 00:23:00,780
SAY, TELL ME A THING,
WILL YOU?
526
00:23:00,813 --> 00:23:03,616
JUST WHAT PART OF COUNTY CORK
IS YOUR MOMMY FROM?
527
00:23:03,650 --> 00:23:05,585
I BEG YOUR PARDON?
528
00:23:05,618 --> 00:23:08,655
I SAY, WHAT PART OF COUNTY CORK
IS YOUR MOMMY FROM?
529
00:23:08,688 --> 00:23:11,458
SHE'S NOT
FROM COUNTY CORK, ERNEST T.
530
00:23:11,491 --> 00:23:12,992
SHE'S FROM
RIGHT NEAR THERE.
531
00:23:13,025 --> 00:23:14,761
NO, NO, NO.
532
00:23:14,794 --> 00:23:17,096
MOTHER WAS BORN TWO BLOCKS
OFF PICCADILLY CIRCUS,
533
00:23:17,129 --> 00:23:20,500
RIGHT IN THE HEART
OF LONDON.
534
00:23:20,533 --> 00:23:22,635
LONDON.
535
00:23:22,669 --> 00:23:24,637
THEN YOUR MAMA
AIN'T IRISH?
536
00:23:24,671 --> 00:23:25,872
Malcolm:
GOOD HEAVENS, NO.
537
00:23:25,905 --> 00:23:28,875
THEN YOU ARE
A FULL-BLOODED ENGLISHTER!
538
00:23:28,908 --> 00:23:30,810
ERNEST T.!
ERNEST T.!
37569
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