Original subtitles

STARRING ANDY GRIFFITH...

WITH RONNY HOWARD...

ALSO STARRING DON KNOTTS.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

THERE'S A FLY IN HERE ABOUT TO DRIVE ME CRAZY.

COME ON IN. SIT DOWN AND TALK WITH ME.

HOW COME YOU'RE OUT OF SCHOOL SO EARLY?

WE HAD AN ASSEMBLY-- GOT OUT 15 MINUTES EARLY.

THERE HE IS. WHERE?

CLIMBING UP THE WALL OVER THERE.

HOW'D IT GO TODAY?

OH, FINE.

IT'S A LITTLE HARD FOR THE CHILDREN TO CONCENTRATE

AT THIS TIME OF THE YEAR.

GIVE THEM A PROBLEM, AND INSTEAD OF WORKING IT OUT,

THEY'RE ALL LINED UP AT THE PENCIL SHARPENER.

WAIT A MINUTE. DON'T MOVE.

DON'T MOVE.

DON'T MOVE. DON'T MOVE. DON'T MOVE. DON'T MOVE.

UNH! AHH.

WHEW! I'M SORRY, BUT I'VE BEEN AFTER HIM SO LONG,

IT SEEMED LIKE I COULDN'T HELP IT.

WELL, I'M GLAD I STOPPED BY SO I COULD BE OF SOME USE.

WELL, WE KILLED HIM.

OH, OH, OH, OH. BY THE WAY...

WHAT? UH, THERE.

WHAT IS THAT? IT'S NOTHING SERIOUS.

WE JUST HAVE TO MAKE OUT THESE FORMS.

OPIE GOT A "D" IN ARITHMETIC?

WELL, IT HAPPENS. HE'S NOT THE ONLY ONE.

IT JUST MEANS HE PROBABLY SHOULD STUDY MORE.

I'LL GET AFTER HIM.

HOW'S HE DOIN' ON THE OTHER STUFF?

OH, FINE. OPIE'S VERY BRIGHT.

YEAH. HE TAKES AFTER ME A GOOD BIT.

OH, INDEED, HE DOES.

HI, PAW.

Andy: SPEAK OF THE DEVIL.

HI, MISS CRUMP.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

BYE-BYE.

BYE, MISS CRUMP.

I MADE FOUR TOUCHDOWNS TODAY DURING RECESS.

IS THAT A FACT?

HEY, PAW, CAN I GET ONE OF THOSE JERSEYS

WITH THE NUMBERS ON 'EM?

THEY'RE GOOD FOR FOOTBALL.

YOU NEVER HAVE TO WASH 'EM.

I TELL YA WHAT--

LET'S FORGET FOOTBALL FOR A WHILE

AND TALK ABOUT ARITHMETIC.

MISS CRUMP SAYS YOU'RE NOT DOIN' TOO WELL.

WELL, I STUDY.

IS THERE SOMETHING ABOUT ARITHMETIC

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND?

WELL, WE'RE GOIN' INTO LONG DIVISION NOW.

YEAH.

I HATE IT.

WELL, WHY SHOULD ARITHMETIC

BE HARDER FOR YA THAN ANYTHING ELSE?

I HAVE TO ERASE A LOT.

SOMETIMES I GET A HOLE IN THE PAPER

AND HAVE TO DO IT ALL OVER AGAIN.

SOMETIMES THE BELL RINGS BEFORE I'M FINISHED.

OH, I SEE.

IF THEY HAD BETTER PAPER, I THINK I COULD GET

A GOOD MARK.

I TELL YA WHAT-- TONIGHT AFTER SUPPER

WE'LL HAVE A LITTLE SESSION ON LONG DIVISION.

OKAY, PAW.

OH, HI, EVERYBODY.

Opie: HI, BARNEY.

BEEN PLAYIN' FOOTBALL, HUH, OPE?

I OUGHT TO TAKE YOU OUT IN BACK

AND SHOW YOU HOW TO HANDLE THIS THING.

I GOTTA MEET THE KIDS.

"RIFLE FIFE" THEY USED TO CALL ME.

BULLET PASSES, YOU KNOW.

THEY STILL TALK ABOUT ME AT THE HIGH SCHOOL.

CAN I HAVE IT NOW, BARNEY?

IT'S ALL IN THE WAY YOU HOLD IT.

YOU GOTTA GRAB IT RIGHT IN THE CENTER.

JOHNNY UNITAS OF THE BALTIMORE COLTS

HOLDS IT AT THE END.

OH... WELL...

EVERYBODY HAS HIS OWN SYSTEM, I GUESS.

CAN I GO NOW?

OH, WELL, SURE.

OKAY. SO LONG, PAW.

BYE, BARNEY.

I'LL SEE YA, OPE.

YOU GOTTA CATCH THESE KIDS WHEN THEY'RE YOUNG.

YEAH.

"YOUR SON, OPIE TAYLOR, UNSATISFACTORY"?

OH, THAT'S JUST KIND OF A FORM LETTER.

"D"?

MM-HMM. HE'S GONNA STUDY SOME MORE.

WELL, I'D SAY HE HAS TO STUDY A LOT MORE.

YOU'RE LETTIN' HIM GO PLAY FOOTBALL?

SURE.

WELL, IT'S NONE OF MY BUSINESS.

YOU'RE THE BOY'S FATHER.

IT'S UNBELIEVABLE.

WHAT?

NOTHING.

IN THIS DAY AND AGE...

YOU GONNA TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE MUMBLING ABOUT?

IF YOUR BOY IS FAILIN' IN ARITHMETIC

YOU'D THINK YOU'D HAVE HIM STUDYIN' ALL THE TIME.

OH, HE'S GONNA STUDY.

OKAY, OKAY.

ARITHMETIC'S PROBABLY

THE MOST IMPORTANT SUBJECT THERE IS.

HOW DO YOU EXPECT THIS COUNTRY

TO MAINTAIN ITS POSITION IN WORLD LEADERSHIP

IF OUR KIDS ARE FLUNKIN' ARITHMETIC?

HE'S NOT FLUNKIN', AND I'M GONNA WORK WITH HIM.

ARE YOU QUALIFIED?

IT'S JUST LONG DIVISION.

I THINK I CAN HANDLE THAT.

WELL, FOR OPIE'S SAKE I CERTAINLY HOPE SO.

HOW YOU DOIN', OPE?

OH, HI, PAW. I'M WORKIN'.

THAT'S GOOD.

SUPPOSE WE TAKE A LITTLE TURN

AT THAT LONG DIVISION WE WAS TALKIN' ABOUT?

OH, OKAY.

NOW, THE MAIN THING IN STUDYIN' ANY SUBJECT

IS TO UNDERSTAND EXACTLY WHAT YOU'RE DOIN' ALL THE TIME.

I KNOW.

JUST UNDERSTAND IT STEP BY STEP.

NOW, SUPPOSE WE START WITH A, WITH A SIMPLE PROBLEM.

WE'LL TAKE, SAY, UH, 14

AND WE'LL DIVIDE THAT INTO, OH, 169.

OKAY.

OKAY, NOW, PUT YOUR 14 DOWN ON THE LEFT

DRAW YA A LINE UP AND OVER

AND THEN PUT YOUR 169 UNDER THERE.

WHY DO YOU DO THAT, PAW?

'CAUSE THAT'S THE WAY YOU DO IT.

WHEN WE GIVE AN ANSWER

WE HAVE TO TELL WHY WE DO SOMETHING.

MISS CRUMP SAYS WE'LL NEVER BE ABLE

TO DO HIGHER MATHEMATICS LATER ON

UNLESS WE KNOW WHY WE DO THINGS.

WELL, THAT MAKES SENSE.

THAT CERTAINLY MAKES SENSE.

THE REASON THAT YOU PUT THE 14 DOWN ON THE LEFT

IS UH, UH, UH...

IS-IS BECAUSE, UH... THAT'S THE RULE.

BUT SHE'LL ASK US WHY YOU PUT IT ON THE LEFT.

SHE WILL?

YEAH.

WELL, UH...

WE PROBABLY BETTER NOT TACKLE TOO MUCH THE FIRST NIGHT.

JUST PUT THE 14 DOWN ON THE LEFT

OKAY, DRAW YA A LINE UP AND OVER

AND SHOVE YOUR 169 UNDER THERE.

OH, OKAY.

OKAY. NOW, HOW MANY TIMES 14 GO INTO 16?

ONCE.

PUT YOUR ONE ON TOP THERE.

OKAY, NOW, WHAT YOU GOT LEFT OVER?

UH, ONE TIMES 14 IS 14

SUBTRACT AND, UH, HAVE 2 LEFT OVER.

THIS...

BRING DOWN THE NINE.

BRING DOWN YOUR NINE.

NOW, HOW MANY TIMES 14 GO INTO 29?

14 GOES INTO 29...

14... TWICE.

TWICE. THAT'S IT.

NOW WHATCHA GOT LEFT OVER?

WELL, TWO TIMES FOUR IS EIGHT

AND TWO TIMES ONE IS TWO.

AND YOU SUBTRACT AND YOU HAVE ONE LEFT OVER.

THAT'S IT.

NOW, PUT DOWN A DECIMAL POINT AND TWO ZEROES.

WHY?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, WHY?

JUST, WHY?

WELL, UH, YOU PUT DOWN YOUR DECIMAL POINT

BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING TO PUT DOWN TWO ZEROES AFTER THAT.

AND, WELL, THE REASON

YOU PUT DOWN A DECIMAL POINT AND TWO ZEROES

IS SO'S THAT YOU CAN, UH, YOU CAN KEEP DIVIDIN', SEE

AND-AND SHOVE THAT NUMBER ON OUT THERE

AND THAT WAY YOU CAN KEEP THINKIN' ABOUT IT

AND-AND WORKIN' ON IT AND EVERYTHING

UNTIL YOU FINALLY GET IT DONE.

YOU UNDERSTAND?

NO.

WELL, IT'LL COME TO YA.

THAT'S PROBABLY ENOUGH FOR TONIGHT.

THESE THINGS HAVE A WAY OF

OF, UH, CLEARIN' UP SUDDENLY SOMETIMES.

OH.

OH, THERE YOU ARE.

I WONDERED WHERE YOU WERE.

WELL, WE WERE JUST GOIN' OVER A FEW THINGS.

I'M GLAD YOU'RE STARTING YOUR HOMEWORK EARLY.

YEAH.

IF YOU HAVE ANY PROBLEMS,

YOU JUST ASK YOUR FATHER.

HE'LL HELP YOU.

Barney: HI, AUNT BEE.

OH, HELLO, BARNEY.

CAN I DRIVE YOU HOME?

WELL, NO, THANK YOU.

CLARA EDWARDS IS PICKING ME UP.

LOOKS LIKE A GOOD SUPPER.

WELL, I HOPE SO.

DID ANDY WORK WITH OPIE LAST NIGHT?

WORK WITH OPIE?

YEAH, ON HIS ARITHMETIC.

WELL, HE WAS IN HIS ROOM, I KNOW...

IF HE DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT IT, FORGET IT.

HE'S PROBABLY TRYIN' TO HUSH IT UP.

HUSH UP WHAT?

WELL, I SUPPOSE YOU'LL HEAR ABOUT IT

SOONER OR LATER THAT, UH...

OPIE'S DOIN' UNSATISFACTORY IN HIS ARITHMETIC.

IT'S KIND OF A DANGER POINT.

OH, DEAR, I DIDN'T KNOW.

HE PROBABLY DIDN'T WANT TO WORRY YA.

YOU KNOW, THESE THINGS CAN BE A SHOCK.

ARITHMETIC.

THAT'S FUNNY-- I WAS BAD IN ARITHMETIC, TOO.

IT'S PROBABLY IN THE GENES THEN.

I THINK IF OPIE APPLIES HIMSELF A LITTLE MORE...

WELL, YOU KNOW EASYGOING ANDY.

HE THINKS IT'S NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

HE HASN'T MADE A STUDY OF DROPOUTS THE WAY I HAVE.

YOU DON'T THINK OPIE'S GOING TO BE A DROPOUT, DO YOU?

WELL, LET ME PUT IT THIS WAY-- IFWAS THE BOY'S FATHER

I'D BE GOING INTO THE SITUATION IN SOME DEPTH.

OH, MY!

I DIDN'T MEAN TO UPSET YOU, AUNT BEE.

NONE OF MY BUSINESS.

AND THERE'S A GOOD CHANCE

EVERYTHING'LL WORK OUT ALL RIGHT.

WELL, I'M GLAD YOU TOLD ME.

WELL, WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR?

I'LL SEE YA.

ANDY...

HMM?

I MET BARNEY TODAY.

HE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT OPIE'S ARITHMETIC.

OH, I WISH HE'D STOP MAKIN' SUCH A BIG DEAL OUT OF THIS.

WELL, HE IS DOING UNSATISFACTORY WORK

ISN'T HE?

WELL, YEAH, BUT HE'LL GET STRAIGHTENED OUT.

I CAN'T IMAGINE HOW

UNLESS WE DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

HE'S GONNA DO MORE STUDYIN'.

I DON'T WANT OPIE TO BE A DROPOUT.

A DROPOUT?

IS THAT WHAT BARNEY SAID?

WELL, BARNEY SEEMS TO BE

VERY FAMILIAR WITH THE PROBLEM.

HE SEEMS FAMILIAR WITH ALL PROBLEMS.

HE THINKS HE'S AN EXPERT ON EVERYTHING.

ACTUALLY, I CAN'T THINK OF ANYBODY

WHO KNOWS LESS ABOUT THIS THAN HE DOES.

HI.

HI.

HOW ARE YA, AUNT BEE?

FINE, BARNEY.

I HEARD YA OUTSIDE THE DOOR.

WHO WERE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?

WHAT?

YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT SOMEBODY WHO'S

AN EXPERT ON EVERYTHING.

NOBODY YOU KNOW.

PEOPLE LIKE THAT DRIVE ME CRAZY.

I MAKE IT A POINT TO STEER CLEAR OF 'EM. YEAH.

I HAPPENED TO SEE THIS MAGAZINE

AND THERE'S AN ARTICLE IN HERE

ABOUT THE BLEAK FUTURE FACIN' OUR NEXT GENERATION.

I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE TO READ IT.

WHY?

WELL, YOU KNOW... OPIE AND EVERYTHING.

I'D LIKE TO READ IT.

SOME PRETTY FRIGHTENING STATISTICS IN THERE.

REALLY?

WELL, YOU TAKE YOUR KID TODAY

THAT DROPS OUT OR ONLY GETS A HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA--

HE'S OBSOLETE.

A HORSE-AND-BUGGY MAN IN A JET AGE.

THAT'S HOW FAST THINGS ARE CHANGIN'.

OH, BARNEY. THAT MAGAZINE'S ALREADY A YEAR OLD.

WILL YOU FORGET IT?

THAT'S A FINE ATTITUDE TO TAKE.

I CAME ACROSS SOME INFORMATION

THAT I THOUGHT ANY PARENT OF A CHILD PREPARIN' FOR COLLEGE

WOULD LIKE TO KNOW, THAT'S ALL.

WHO SAYS OPIE'S PREPARING FOR COLLEGE?

HE SURE WASN'T WHEN I SEEN HIM RUNNIN' DOWN THE STREET.

ANDY, I ALWAYS THOUGHT OF OPIE AS GOING TO COLLEGE.

I NEVER SAID HE WON'T.

WELL, STATISTICS SHOW...

WE'RE NOT TALKIN' ABOUT STATISTICS.

WE'RE TALKIN' ABOUT ONE BOY, OPIE TAYLOR

AND IF OPIE CAN'T HAVE A LITTLE TROUBLE WITH ARITHMETIC

WITHOUT HIS WHOLE FUTURE GOIN' DOWN THE DRAIN

THEN THIS COUNTRY'S IN TROUBLE.

IT'S THE WORLD WE LIVE IN, ANGE.

HAVE YOU GIVEN ANY THOUGHT

TO SENDING HIM TO A VOCATIONAL SCHOOL?

THERE'S A WONDERFUL SCHOOL IN MT. PILOT IN MEAT CUTTIN'.

IF I HEAR ONE MORE WORD ABOUT OPIE'S STUDIES...

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

I JUST THOUGHT

YOU MIGHT WANT TO KNOW WHERE HIS ABILITIES LIE.

BARNEY HAS A POINT THERE, ANDY.

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT.

OKAY, OKAY.

IF YOU WANT TO DISCUSS IT SOME MORE

I'LL BE OVER AT MY PLACE.

SEE YA, AUNT BEE.

BYE, BARNEY.

NOW-NOW, LET ME, LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT--

YOU DIDN'T THINK

IT WAS SO ALL-FIRED IMPORTANT, DID YOU?

WELL, NO.

IT'S-IT'S JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS

THAT SHOULD BE CORRECTED.

LET ME ASK YA THIS:

SUPPOSE OPIE NEVER DOES

GET TO BE ANY GREAT SHAKES AT ARITHMETIC.

COULD THAT KEEP HIM OUT OF COLLEGE?

IT'S TRUE IT'S GETTING MORE DIFFICULT TO GET IN COLLEGE.

THE COMPETITION'S KEEN.

THEN YOU'RE SAYING IT COULD BE SERIOUS.

WELL, I DIDN'T SAY THAT.

WHAT ABOUT VOCATIONAL SCHOOLS?

ARE THEY HARD TO GET INTO?

NO, I DON'T SUPPOSE SO.

UH-HUH.

AND IF HE DOESN'T IMPROVE IN HIS ARITHMETIC

IT IS POSSIBLE THAT THAT COULD KEEP HIM OUT OF COLLEGE?

WELL, I SUPPOSE IT COULD.

I GOT TO GO HOME.

ANDY...

I'LL BE BACK.

HI, PAW.

GET UPSTAIRS.

HUH?

I SAID GET UPSTAIRS

AND STUDY YOUR ARITHMETIC.

GEE, BARN, PAW ASKED ME TO GO RIGHT HOME AND STUDY.

WELL, THIS'LL ONLY TAKE A FEW MINUTES, OPE

AND IT MIGHT BE IMPORTANT TO YOU.

WELL, I GUESS IT'LL BE OKAY.

NOW, HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF A VOCATIONAL SCHOOL?

NO.

THAT'S A SCHOOL

WHERE THEY TEACH YOU A TRADE

AS OPPOSED TO A PROFESSION

WHERE YOU HAVE TO GO TO COLLEGE.

SEE? NOW, SIT DOWN.

NOW, WHAT I HAVE HERE IS AN APTITUDE TEST.

I ALREADY HAD THREE TESTS TODAY, BARNEY.

WELL, THIS ONE'S DIFFERENT.

NOW, YOU COMFORTABLE?

YEAH.

PERFECTLY RELAXED? I THINK SO.

OKAY, HERE WE GO.

"IF YOU HAD A CHOICE, WHAT WOULD YOU DO:

READ A BOOK OR BUILD A BOAT?"

TAKE YOUR TIME, NOW.

I THINK I'D BUILD A BOAT DURING THE AFTERNOON

AND READ A BOOK WHEN I WENT TO BED.

UH, WELL, SUPPOSE YOU ONLY HAD TIME

TO DO JUST THE ONE THING.

WELL, IF IT WAS SATURDAY...

ONE THING, OPE.

LET'S NARROW THIS DOWN, NOW.

WELL, I GUESS I'D READ A BOOK.

GOOD. YOU'D READ A BOOK. OKAY.

READ A BOOK ABOUT WHAT?

MAYBE ABOUT BUILDING A BOAT?

ALL RIGHT, WE'LL GO ON TO THE NEXT ONE HERE.

"IF SOMEBODY WERE TO PRESENT YOU

"WITH A GIFT, WOULD YOU PREFER

AN ELECTRIC MOTOR..."

NOW, LISTEN CAREFULLY.

"...OR A CHEMISTRY SET?"

NOW, THAT'S A SIMPLE, DIRECT QUESTION

RIGHT ON THE LINE. NOW, THINK, OPIE.

WHAT SIZE CHEMISTRY SET?

WHAT DIFFERENCE WHAT SIZE?! IT'S A CHEMISTRY SET! IT HAS CHEMICALS IN IT!

JOHNNY PAUL HAS NUMBER-ONE SIZE

AND IT DOESN'T HAVE ALL THOSE CHEMICALS

WHERE YOU CAN MAKE BOMBS THAT SMELL LIKE ROTTEN EGGS.

THIS ONE MAKES THE BOMB.

THE ONE IN THE RED BOX?

WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?!

WELL, I GUESS I'D TAKE THE ELECTRIC MOTOR.

HUH. GOOD. NOW, YOU'D TAKE THE ELECTRIC MOTOR?

IS THAT MOTOR AC OR DC?

COME ON, OPE!

WHAT'S GOING ON?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

TAKING A TEST, PAW.

UH, I WAS JUST, UH, GIVING HIM A VOCATIONAL TEST

IN CASE HE DON'T GO TO COLLEGE.

I SEE.

UH, OPE, WHY DON'T YOU JUST RUN ON HOME

AND GET ON YOUR HOMEWORK?

I HAVEN'T FINISHED.

YOU'RE FINISHED. COME ON, OPE.

OKAY, PAW.

BARNEY?

UH, I'LL HANDLE THIS, OKAY?

I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP THE BOY, ANDY

IN CASE HE CAN'T QUITE...

WELL, YOU KNOW, IN CASE HE DON'T GO TO COLLEGE.

HE'S GOING TO COLLEGE.

OH, WELL, FINE, I'M ALL FOR THAT

BUT, I MEAN, IF HE'S FALLING BEHIND...

HE'S NOT GONNA FALL BEHIND.

WELL, GOOD, GOOD.

NO QUESTION THE BOY HAS POTENTIAL.

YOU KNOW, IF I WAS IN YOUR PLACE

I'D RECOMMEND...

DON'T RECOMMEND ANYTHING.

FINE, FINE, WELL, I'LL GET OUT ON PATROL.

DO THAT.

I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT.

TONIGHT?

YEAH. AUNT BEE INVITED ME OVER FOR SUPPER

IN CASE YOU WANTED TO TALK ABOUT IT.

OPIE, YOU HAVEN'T EVEN TOUCHED YOUR CAKE.

I DON'T FEEL LIKE ANY, AUNT BEE.

BUT IT'S THE KIND YOU LIKE.

OH, I THINK I'LL GO UP AND STUDY.

THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

GO ON UPSTAIRS AND STUDY.

OKAY, PAW.

I JUST HOPE HE'S ALL RIGHT.

HE'S BEEN STUDYING SO HARD.

NO FOOTBALL OR ANYTHING.

OH, THAT'S GOOD FOR HIM.

CAN'T GET GRADES IF YOUR MIND'S ON FOOTBALL.

WELL, I'M WONDERING IS THIS STUDYING SO IMPORTANT?

YES.

I HAPPENED TO BE TALKING

TO MR. FOLEY IN THE GROCERY STORE

AND YOU KNOW WHAT HE TOLD ME?

WHAT?

HE TOLD ME EINSTEIN WAS A DROPOUT.

WELL, THAT WAS SOME TIME BACK, AUNT BEE.

IT WAS A LITTLE EASIER TO GET BY THEN.

AND BESIDES, WHO KNOWS HOW FAR HE MIGHT HAVE GONE

IF HE HADN'T BEEN A DROPOUT?

IT JUST SEEMS TO ME

THERE SHOULD BE A HAPPY MEDIUM SOMEPLACE.

ALL WORK AND NO PLAY MAKES JACK A DULL BOY.

OH, HE GETS ALL THE PLAY HE NEEDS AT RECESS.

IT'S A PLANNED CURRICULUM, AUNT BEE.

I MEAN, THE SCHOOL BOARD WORKS OUT A PROPER BALANCE

BETWEEN MIND AND BODY.

I SUPPOSE SO.

I THINK YOU'RE ON THE RIGHT TRACK, ANGE.

THAT'S GOOD TO KNOW.

ANGE, HAVE YOU GIVEN ANY THOUGHT

TO WHEN HE GETS TO COLLEGE?

WHAT HE'S GOING TO STUDY?

WELL, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKES

LET'S LET HIM GET IN COLLEGE FIRST.

WELL, I DIDN'T MEAN TO UPSET YOU.

COLLEGE.

PEOPLE HAVE ALWAYS SAID I SHOULD HAVE GONE.

I HAD A REAL BENT TOWARD CHEMISTRY, THEY SAID.

I GOT A's ALMOST ALL THE TIME

IN HIGH SCHOOL.

AND YEARS LATER, WHEN THAT MOVIE CAME OUT

ABOUT MADAME CURIE

WELL, BY THAT TIME, IT WAS TOO LATE.

JUST THINK, AUNT BEE.

YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN MADAME CURIE.

WELL, SHE WAS EXCEPTIONAL.

AND FRENCH.

YEAH.

WELL, I BLEW MY CHANCE AT THE BIG BALL OF WAX

RIGHT IN HIGH SCHOOL.

MY MIND WANDERED.

I COULD SIT AND STARE AT THE SAME PAGE FOR HOURS.

MY MIND JUST WANDERED.

WANDERED TOWARD WHAT?

OH, GIRLS, MOSTLY.

I WASTED A LOT OF TIME.

WELL, NOT WASTED.

I HAD A GOOD CONNECTION, TOO--

THE F.B.I.

YEAH, A DIRECT LINE.

MY UNCLE KNEW A MAN

WHO USED TO DO A LOT OF THEIR PLUMBING IN WASHINGTON.

OF COURSE, THEY ONLY TOOK COLLEGE GRADS.

AS PLUMBERS?

AS F.B.I. MEN.

WELL, I'M DUE OVER AT THELMA LOU'S.

THANKS FOR THE SUPPER, AUNT BEE.

IT WAS DELICIOUS, AS USUAL.

IT WAS NICE HAVING YOU, BARNEY.

AHH.

LISTEN, I'LL BE OVER THERE ALL EVENING, ANGE,

IF YOU WANT TO DISCUSS IT SOME MORE.

NO, I THINK WE GOT IT ALL SETTLED.

YEAH, WELL, I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

OKAY. I'LL SEE YA.

OH, HI.

HI.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

IT'S OPIE. I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT HIM.

WHAT'S HAPPENED NOW?

WELL, I'M AFRAID

I'M PARTLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS.

EVER SINCE I BROUGHT YOU THAT MESSAGE ABOUT HIM--

ABOUT HIS ARITHMETIC-- AND WE TALKED ABOUT COLLEGE

WELL, HE'S BEEN DOING WORSE.

WORSE?!

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH HIM?!

I'VE MADE HIM STUDY HARDER

AND CUT OUT FOOTBALL, AND EVERYTHING.

WELL, MAYBE THAT'S IT.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

YOU'RE CARRYING IT A LITTLE TOO FAR.

TOO FAR?!

IF HE'S NOT DOING WELL AT HIS SCHOOLWORK

THEN HE'LL HAVE TO STUDY HARDER, THAT'S ALL.

DON'T BE A HYSTERICAL PARENT.

I'M NOT HYSTERICAL.

IF HE'S NOT CUTTIN' THE MUSTARD

HE'S GONNA HAVE TO WORK HARDER!

BUT NOT LETTING HIM PLAY FOOTBALL

AND PRESSURING HIM... WELL, CHILDREN HAVE NERVES, TOO.

I TOOK THE LIBERTY OF TELLING HIM

HE COULD GO OUT AND PLAY FOOTBALL

THIS AFTERNOON.

YOU SHOULDN'T DO THAT.

I'M HIS FATHER.

I'M AWARE OF THAT.

I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP THE BOY.

IT'S WRONG WHEN ONE PERSON TELLS HIM TO DO ONE THING

AND ANOTHER PERSON TELLS HIM TO DO SOMETHING ELSE.

I TOLD HIM TO STUDY.

I'M SORRY IF I'M ENCROACHING ON YOUR TERRITORY, MR. TAYLOR

BUT DO YOU REALIZE THAT IF YOU PUSH A CHILD TOO HARD

IT CAN DO A LOT MORE HARM THAN A POOR GRADE?

AND ANYWAY, I DON'T THINK YOUR WAY'S BEEN TOO DARN SUCCESSFUL.

HI, OPE.

HI, PAW.

HOW YOU DOING?

OKAY, I GUESS.

I, UH, UNDERSTAND YOU PLAYED FOOTBALL TODAY.

YES, PAW. MISS CRUMP SAID I COULD.

I KNOW.

HOW'D YOU DO?

NOT TOO GOOD.

WE LOST.

YOU LOST?

YEAH. I FUMBLED A LOT.

OH.

LATELY, I DON'T PLAY TOO GOOD.

UH...

OPIE, UH, I THINK

THAT YOU'RE PROBABLY AS GOOD A FOOTBALL PLAYER

AS YOU EVER WERE.

I THINK THE REASON

THAT YOU'RE NOT PLAYING TOO GOOD RIGHT NOW

IS BECAUSE YOU GOT, UH, YOU GOT TOO MUCH ON YOUR MIND...

AND I'M, I'M AFRAID THAT I'M TO BLAME FOR THAT.

SO, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT WE'LL DO.

I'LL JUST QUIT PUSHING YOU SO HARD, OKAY?

OKAY.

AND YOU GO AHEAD AND...

BE A LITTLE BOY...

AND DO THE BEST YOU CAN.

AND, UH...

TRY NOT TO FUMBLE SO MUCH.

OKAY.

OKAY.

PAW?

HMM?

THANKS.

SO YOU THINK YOU GOT THINGS PRETTY WELL UNDER CONTROL, HUH?

I THINK SO.

WE WORKED OUT A KIND OF A MIDDLE-OF-THE-ROAD PLAN.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

CERTAIN AMOUNT OF PLAY, CERTAIN AMOUNT OF STUDY, WITHIN LIMITS.

HI! OH, HI!

I COULD HARDLY WAIT TO COME OVER.

I HAVE SOMETHING I WANT TO TELL YOU.

WELL, HOW'S OUR PROBLEM PUPIL DOING?

WELL, NOW, HE'S NOT A PROBLEM PUPIL,

AND HE NEVER HAS BEEN.

AS LONG AS YOU ASK, I MUST TELL YOU,

HE'S MAKING VERY GOOD PROGRESS.

WE HAD A TEST THIS MORNING, AND HE MADE A B-PLUS.

NO KIDDING-- A B

MAYBE THAT'LL FIRE HIM UP TO MAKE SOME A's.

THAT'S USUALLY THE WAY IT WORKS.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.

WHAT?

KID STARTS STUDYING TOO MUCH,

GETS AN "A" IN SOME SUBJECT, THAT COULD SPELL TROUBLE.

TROUBLE?

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, BARNEY?

WELL, IT COULD START A WHOLE CHAIN OF EVENTS.

IF A KID GETS AN "A" IN ONE SUBJECT,

HE'LL WANT MORE A's.

START STAYING UP LATE AT NIGHT, STUDYING,

STRAINING HIS EYES.

BEFORE YOU KNOW IT, HE'LL NEED GLASSES.

PROBABLY START LOSING WEIGHT, TOO.

UH, YOU WANT TO GET HELEN A CUP OF COFFEE?

GET STOOPED SHOULDER FROM LEANING OVER A DESK TOO MUCH.

AND LOSE INTEREST IN OTHER THINGS,

LIKE SPORTS AND GIRLS AND THINGS LIKE THAT.

THEN, EVENTUALLY, HE BECOMES AN INTROVERT,

WINDS UP BEING A COMPLETE MISFIT.

NOW, I'M NOT SAYING THAT'S ACTUALLY GONNA HAPPEN.

ALL I'M--