Original subtitles

STARRING ANDY GRIFFITH...

WITH RONNY HOWARD...

ALSO STARRING DON KNOTTS.

HI, PA. WANT A NEWSPAPER?

THANKS, I GOT ONE.

I MEAN, THIS ONE.

HOWIE AND I PUT ONE OUT

ON THE PRINT MACHINE HE GOT FOR HIS BIRTHDAY.

YOUR OWN NEWSSHEET, HUH? HAS IT GOT ANY HOT SCOOPS?

SURE, THERE'S THE SCORE OF OUR BASEBALL GAME

AND ALL ABOUT KAREN FOLKER

FALLING DOWN ON THE ELM STREET PLAYGROUND.

NO KIDDIN'?

YOU WANT ONE, PA?

OH, YOU BETTER KNOW I DO.

THE WAY THINGS ARE TODAY

A MAN'S GOT TO KEEP HIMSELF UP

ON HOT SPOTS ALL OVER THE WORLD.

PRETTY NEAT. HOW MUCH?

THREE CENTS.

THINK BARNEY'LL WANT ONE, TOO?

ASK HIM WHEN HE GETS BACK FROM THE BARBERSHOP.

GOT CHANGE FOR A QUARTER?

NO.

OH.

BUSINESS A LITTLE SLOW, HUH?

EVERYBODY IN THE CLASS PROMISED TO BUY ONE.

FOR THEM, IT'LL BE A PENNY APIECE.

THAT'S THE STUDENT RATE.

MM-HMM, NOT MUCH HAPPENIN' OUTSIDE THE CLASS.

THAT'S WHERE YOU COULD CALL IT A LITTLE SLOW.

HOW MANY DID YOU SELL?

WELL, IF BARNEY BUYS ONE, THAT'LL MAKE TWO.

YOU COULD CALL THAT A LITTLE SLOW, COULDN'T YOU?

MAYBE PEOPLE IN MR. FOLEY'S MARKET'LL TAKE SOME.

THEN I'LL HAVE CHANGE FOR YOU, PA.

OKAY, BYE.

BYE.

HI, ANDY.

HI, BARNEY.

I'M SORRY I WAS SO LONG.

FRED HENRY COME IN THE BARBERSHOP

AND GOT TO GABBIN' WITH FLOYD

AND YOU KNOW HOW FLOYD IS.

JUST IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO MOVE HIS SCISSORS

AND HIS JAWBONE AT THE SAME TIME.

TOOK FOREVER TO GET MY TRIM.

WHAT DID FRED HENRY HAVE TO SAY?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

HE WENT ON AND ON

ABOUT THE WIDOW SAUNDERS OR SOMETHING.

TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I WAS READING THE GEOGRAPHIC

AND I DIDN'T PAY A WHOLE LOT OF ATTENTION TO HIM.

GOT BETTER THINGS TO DO WITH MY TIME

THAN LISTEN TO THE TWO OF THEM CHIT-CHAT,

I'LL TELL YOU THAT.

YEAH.

WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH THE WIDOW SAUNDERS?

IT SEEMS SHE'S BEEN STEPPIN' OUT

WITH THAT DISH TOWEL SALESMAN THAT COMES THROUGH FROM RALEIGH.

THURSDAY NIGHT THEY WERE OUT AT THE HALF MOON ROADHOUSE

BOTH SITTIN' ON THE SAME SIDE OF THE BOOTH

EATIN' A NEW YORK CUT STEAK.

NO, KIDDIN'. NEW YORK CUT, HUH?

YEAH.

'COURSE I TURNED A DEAF EAR TO THE WHOLE THING.

I GET THAT GEOGRAPHIC IN MY HANDS

I JUST DON'T HEAR ANYTHING.

HMM.

SAY IT WAS A SALESMAN, HUH?

YEAH, A BIG FELLA, 'BOUT SIX FOOT,

DRIVES A FAST-BACK, WIRE-WHEELED COUPE.

HE DIDN'T GET HER IN TILL 1:00 IN THE MORNING.

NO KIDDIN'.

I THINK HE'S GOT HIS EYE

ON THAT INSURANCE MONEY.

FRED SAYS IT COME TO $6,500.

$6,500!

YEAH, 'COURSE SHE DON'T HAVE ALL OF IT LEFT.

MM-HMM.

SHE SPENT $97 ON NEW SLIPCOVERS

FOR THE LIVING ROOM FURNITURE.

HERE'S WILBUR, BARELY COLD IN THE GROUND

AND HER AND HER BOYFRIEND SITTIN' UP

TILL ALL HOURS OF THE NIGHT

ON SLIPCOVERS HE'S PAYING FOR.

I TOLD FLOYD THAT HANKY-PANKY DIDN'T SURPRISE ME NONE.

SHE'S THE TYPE, YOU KNOW.

DARK-HAIRED WOMAN.

NO SEMPER FIDELI FOR HER.

YOU REMEMBER THAT TALK ABOUT THEIR HIRED MAN

ABOUT FOUR YEARS BACK?

MM-HMM.

YOU KNOW THE WAY I HEARD...

WHAT WAS THE ARTICLE ABOUT?

HUH?

IN THE GEOGRAPHIC?

AFRICA.

HMM.

IT WAS ABOUT AFRICA.

WELL, IT'S BETTER TO GO AHEAD AND READ

THAN IT IS TO WASTE YOUR TIME

LISTENING TO GOSSIP.

OH, YEAH, OTHER PEOPLE'S AFFAIRS

ARE THEIR OWN PRIVATE BUSINESS, NOT MINE.

I WANT NO PART OF IT.

WELL, DID YOU EVER!

SUCH GOINGS-ON, SUCH GOINGS-ON.

HUH WHAT IS IT?

SOMETHING IN THE PAPER?

I NEVER WOULD HAVE BELIEVED IT.

I CERTAINLY WOULDN'T HAVE BELIEVED IT

OF HER AND NOT WITH HIM!

LET ME SEE IT, LET ME HEAR -- WHAT'S THE STORY?

YOU READY? JUST LISTEN TO THIS.

"KAREN FOLKER SCRAPED HER KNEE

AT THE ELM STREET PLAYGROUND

CHASING BRUCE NEWDELL

AND IT TOOK TWO BANDAGES.

TROY BOWDEN FORGOT TO BRING

HIS LUNCH TO SCHOOL YESTERDAY

BUT TOMMY GRIEF GIVE HIM HIS PEAR."

WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?

LET ME SEE, WHAT DOES IT SAY?

RIGHT THERE IN THE MAYBERRY SUN.

LOOKY THERE, HOWIE PRUITT AND OPIE TAYLOR, EDITORS.

AW!

KIDS PUTTIN' OUT THEIR OWN PAPER.

THAT'S SOMETHING, ISN'T IT?

YEAH.

"MYRA LAMBERT GOT A PART IN THE SCHOOL PLAY,

AND SHE WILL BE A RAINDROP."

THAT'S CUTE.

THAT REALLY IS. IT'S DARN CUTE.

THEIR OWN PAPER.

DID IT ALL THEMSELVES, TOO.

YEAH. YOU KNOW WHAT IT IS?

CUTE. IT'S DARN CUTE.

NOT VERY COMMERCIAL, I'M AFRAID, THOUGH.

NO? NO.

OPIE'S HOPING THAT YOU'LL BUY ONE.

WELL, SURE, I WILL, IF IT'LL HELP OUT.

IT'LL DOUBLE THE CIRCULATION.

OH, HI, BARNEY.

SAY, I'M SELLING THESE NEWSPAPERS...

YEAH, I'LL BE GLAD TO TAKE ONE.

GOT CHANGE FOR A QUARTER? NO.

AW, NOTHIN' HAPPENIN' IN THE MARKET, EITHER, HUH?

IF THEY'RE NOT MOVIN' THERE MUST BE A REASON WHY.

MAYBE YOU'RE NOT GETTING THE RIGHT KIND OF COPY.

COPY, THAT'S NEWSPAPER TALK FOR STORIES.

YOU KNOW ABOUT NEWSPAPERS, BARNEY?

YOU KIDDIN'?

IN CENTRAL HIGH, I HAD MY OWN SPORTS COLUMN.

"PICKUPS AND SPLASHES FROM FLOOR AND POOL" BY BARNEY FIFE.

YEAH?

YEAH, THEY USED TO CALL ME "SCOOP" FIFE.

ALWAYS HAD PRINTER'S INK IN MY VEINS.

GUESS I ALWAYS HAD A NOSE FOR NEWS.

I DON'T KNOW.

IF SOMETHING'S GONNA HAPPEN, I'D JUST SEEM TO SMELL IT OUT.

AND I'D BE RIGHT THERE.

NO FOOLIN'.

YEAH, ALWAYS HAD A NOSE FOR NEWS.

Andy: THAT'S RIGHT, OPE.

ACTUALLY, BARNEY'S NOSE CAME FIRST,

AND THEN HE KIND OF GREW AROUND IT.

SORRY.

ACTUALLY, I CAN SPOT YOUR TROUBLE RIGHT OFF.

YOU WANT TO INCREASE YOUR CIRCULATION, RIGHT?

WHAT'S CIRCULATION?

CIRCULATION IS HOW MANY PEOPLE TAKE YOUR PAPER.

TO INCREASE YOUR CIRCULATION...

TO INCREASE YOUR CIRCULATION

YOU GOT TO WIDEN YOUR SCOPE.

YOU GOT TO BELT YOUR READERS

WITH EVERY HUMAN INTEREST STORY

ABOUT EVERY JOHN DOE FROM HERE TO TIMBUKTU.

JUST COVER MAYBERRY, OPIE.

JUST WRITE ABOUT ALL OF MAYBERRY.

AND THE WAY YOU DO THAT...

THE WAY YOU DO THAT...

THE WAY YOU DO THAT...

IS YOU GET STORIES THAT'LL INTEREST MORE PEOPLE.

THAT WAY YOU'LL SELL MORE PAPERS, SEE?

YEAH, YOU TAKE YOUR MAYBERRY GAZETTE.

NOW THEY GOT STORIES IN HERE

ABOUT PEOPLE FROM ALL WALKS OF LIFE.

WHAT BARNEY'S TRYING TO SAY IS

IF YOU WANT TO SELL MORE PAPERS YOU GOT TO WRITE ABOUT

THE WHO SCHOOL AND THE WHOLE TOWN.

YOU SEE, KAREN FOLKER,

NOW, SHE MAY BE HOT COPY FOR THE FIFTH GRADE

BUT UPTOWN, SHE DON'T MEAN A THING.

DO YOU THINK WE OUGHT TO

MAKE OURS LIKE THE BIG PAPER?

YOU WANT TO SELL PAPERS

YOU GOT TO DO IT LIKE THEY DO IN THE BIG TIME.

THE MAIN THING...

THE MAIN THING, OPE...

IS TRY NOT TO GET DISCOURAGED.

JUST STICK IN THERE AND DO THE VERY BEST YOU CAN.

OKAY, WE'LL TRY.

THANKS, PA. THANKS, BARNEY.

WELL, WELL...

I DON'T REMEMBER YOU HAD A COLUMN IN THE SCHOOL PAPER.

SURE.

"PICKUPS AND SPLASHES FROM FLOOR AND POOL" BY BARNEY FIFE.

WELL, IT WASN'T IN THE ENTIRE YEAR.

HMM, HOW MANY TIMES WAS IT IN?

WELL, ACTUALLY...

JUST THAT ONCE.

IT WAS AHEAD OF ITS TIME. IT WAS TOO CONTROVERSIAL.

IS THAT WHAT THEY SAID, OPE?

WE SHOULD MAKE OUR PAPER LIKE THE BIG ONE?

YUP, WE GOT TO WIDEN OUR SCOPE.

BUT WE CAN'T PUT OUT A WHOLE BIG PAPER.

JUST PRINTING A LITTLE ONE

WE RAN OUT OF D's AND E's.

WE GOT TO MAKE OURS LIKE PART OF THE PAPER.

THE BEST PART.

WASHINGTON ROUNDUP.

INTERNATIONAL DATELINE.

SOCIAL SECURITY IN ACTION.

MY FOLKS NEVER READ THOSE.

HERE'S WHAT THEY LIKE TO READ.

MAYBERRY AFTER MIDNIGHT.

AUNT BEE READS THAT, TOO.

THE FIRST THING.

"A LITTLE BIRD TELLS US THAT ALL THE NOISE

"COMING FROM THE E.W.s EVERY NIGHT

ISN'T FROM PRIZEFIGHTS ON THE RADIO."

"WHAT LOCAL LADY IS DRYING HER TEARS

ON EMBROIDERED DISH TOWELS?"

THAT'S WHAT WE GOT TO DO, HOWIE.

SOMEHOW, WE GOT TO FIND OUT

A WHOLE LOT OF STUFF LIKE THAT TO PRINT.

OH, NO, CLARA.

YOU DIDN'T MISS A THING.

IT WAS A VERY ORDINARY LUNCHEON.

THE WAY THAT MRS. FOSTER BRAGS ON HER FOOD.

AND WHEN WE SAT DOWN TO LUNCHEON

THE CHICKEN A LA KING TASTED LIKE WALLPAPER PASTE.

AND YOU KNOW THAT SILVER SERVICE?

IT'S PLATE. MM-HMM.

I PEELED BACK A PIECE OFF THE SPOON.

AS FOR THE DESSERT...

GENTLEMEN.

HELLO, PREACHER.

NICE DAY, ISN'T IT?

UH-HUH.

HE'S A FINE MAN, YOU KNOW THAT?

TOWN'S LUCKY TO HAVE HIM.

BUT THOSE SERMONS OF HIS DO GO ON.

WELL, HE'S GOT A LOT THAT NEEDS TO BE SAID.

OF COURSE, NOW I WILL ADMIT

SOMETIMES HE CAN BE DRY AS DUST.

YOU SAID IT EXACTLY, ANDY.

"DRY AS DUST."

MM-HMM.

REMIND ANDY TO PICK UP THE DRY CLEANING

ON HIS WAY HOME, WOULD YOU, BARNEY?

YEAH, I WILL.

OH, AUNT BEE.

DON'T LOOK NOW, HERE COMES HAROLD GRIGSBY

AND THAT NEW WIFE OF HIS.

YEAH.

JUST IMAGINE.

HE'S OLD ENOUGH TO BE HER FATHER.

MAY AND DECEMBER.

IT'S A GOOD DEAL FOR HER, THOUGH.

HAROLD OWNS HALF THAT SAW MILL.

IT'S EASY TO SEE WHAT MAY SEES IN DECEMBER.

SANTA CLAUS.

THEY SAY HE'S TERRIBLY JEALOUS

IF ANYBODY LOOKS AT HER.

MM-HMM, HE'S GOT GOOD REASON TO BE.

A NIFTY BLONDE LIKE THAT.

BLONDE, RIGHT OUT OF A BOTTLE.

GENUINE BLONDE, RIGHT OUT OF A BOTTLE.

NICE DAY, YOU KNOW THAT?

IT SEEMS A LITTLE WARM TO ME.

WELL, THE WEATHER'S BEEN CHANGING SO MUCH LATELY.

IT MUST BE THE BOMB.

WELL...

HI, PA.

HI, OPE. WHATCHA GOT THERE?

ANOTHER PAPER?

HOWIE AND I ARE DELIVERING.

WE'LL TAKE A COUPLE OFF YOUR HANDS.

STILL THREE CENTS OR HAS THE WAGE

THESE ARE FREE, PA.

WE'RE GIVING THEM AWAY AS SAMPLES.

NEXT TIME EVERYBODY WILL BUY THEM.

OH, WELL, IN A CASE LIKE THAT

WE'LL DEFINITELY TAKE TWO.

SURE, SURE, PRICE IS RIGHT.

HERE'S ONE FOR YOU, TOO, AUNT BEE.

OH, THANK YOU.

YOU SURE THESE ARE NOT YOUR LAST ONES?

I CAN GET MORE OUT OF HOWIE'S GARAGE.

WELL, BYE.

OKAY, BYE.

BYE, OPIE.

SEE YA, OPIE.

YOU GOT TO GIVE THE BOYS CREDIT.

THEY REALLY STUCK TO IT.

AWFUL LOT BETTER THAN A LOT OF BOYS

THAT HANG AROUND TRYING TO GET INTO TROUBLE.

THEY DESERVE A LOT OF CREDIT.

STICK-TOO-IT-IVENESS, THAT'S WHAT COUNTS.

THAT'S RIGHT.

WELL, I GUESS I BETTER

GO CHECK PARKING.

WELL, I RECKON.

ALTHOUGH, ON A DAY LIKE THIS IT SURE IS A TEMPTATION...

HUH?!

WHAT IS IT?

"BARNEY FIFE SAYS SUE GRIGSBY

IS A BLONDE FROM A BOTTLE!"

WHAT?

"MRS. FOSTER'S CHICKEN A LA KING, WALLPAPER PASTE."

GOOD HEAVENS!

"SHERIFF TAYLOR SAYS THE PREACHER IS DRY AS DUST."

WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO!

NOW, WHY WOULD HE PUT THINGS LIKE THIS IN THE PAPER?

GUESS HE'S OUT TO WIDEN HIS SCOPE.

WE BETTER GO GET THEM YOUNG'UNS

AND GET THESE PAPERS BACK

OR THIS TOWN WILL BE TOO HOT TO HANDLE.

COME ON!

OPIE, EXACTLY WHERE DID YOU DELIVER THESE PAPERS?

JUST ON WILLOW AVENUE, ELM AND MAPLE.

JUST ON WILLOW, ELM AND MAPLE.

WHAT'S GOING ON? ANYTHING I CAN PUT IN THE PAPER?

NO! YOU'VE PUT IN ENOUGH ALREADY!

I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW --

THERE'S NOT TIME FOR THAT NOW.

NOW, YOU GET HOWIE

AND DON'T LET ANOTHER ONE OF THOSE PAPERS OUT OF YOUR HAND.

WE'VE GOT TO GET THESE THINGS BACK.

IF JUST ONE OF THESE GETS OUT--

WHATEVER GAVE HIM THE IDEA TO DO THIS?

WELL, WE'D BETTER HURRY!

YOU TAKE WILLOW AVENUE, YOU TAKE ELM,

AND I'LL TAKE MAPLE.

ELM?

Woman: BEE!

HOW ARE YOU?

OH! SOMETHING FOR ME?

NO. NO, NOT EXACTLY

I-I WAS JUST PASSING BY, AND, UH...

OH, THE CHICKEN, THE CHICKEN A LA KING--

IT WAS SO DELICIOUS

WOULD YOU GIVE ME YOUR RECIPE?

OH, REALLY! YOU LIKED IT THAT MUCH?

OH, I'VE NEVER TASTED ANYTHING LIKE IT.

THERE'S BEEN TALK ABOUT IT EVER SINCE.

WELL, I'D BE GLAD TO.

SAY, I'VE GOT A BETTER IDEA.

I'VE GOT A WHOLE CASSEROLE LEFT.

YOU KNOW, THE GIRLS ARE WATCHING THEIR WEIGHT

AND NONE OF THEM WANTED SECONDS.

WHY DON'T YOU AND ANDY COME BY FOR SUPPER

TOMORROW NIGHT?

OH, THAT'S AWFULLY SWEET OF YOU, BUT...

I INSIST.

WELL, UH, ALL RIGHT.

TOMORROW NIGHT THEN,

CHICKEN A LA KING TREAT.

TA-TA!

TA-TA!

AAH!

HELLO, BARNEY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, DEPUTY?

WELL, JUST, UH-UH...

YOU COME TO SEE SOMEBODY?

THOUGHT I WASN'T HOME?

OH, OH, NO!

NOW, HAROLD, IT'S NOTHING LIKE THAT.

WHO YOU TRYING TO FOOL? I GOT EYES!

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.

YOU SO MUCH AS LOOK SIDEWAYS AT MY WIFE

YOU'LL WISH YOU HADN'T.

IT WAS NOTHING LIKE THAT.

WHAT ARE DO YOU DOING HERE?!

WELL, UH, UH, THE THING IS...

YOU BETTER, I...

YOU GET OUT OF HERE!

YOU BETTER GET OUT!

UH, PREACHER?

OH. HELLO, ANDY.

UH...

[ CLEARS THROAT QUIETLY ]

NOW...WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

UH, WAS, UH...

WAS MY BOY, WAS OPIE OVER HERE EARLIER?

YES, HE WAS.

I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE, ANDY.

IT'LL SAVE ME A TRIP COMIN' TO SEE YOU.

I'M VERY SORRY ABOUT THIS, PREACHER.

I WANTED TO ASK YOU TO TEACH IN OUR SUNDAY SCHOOL AGAIN.

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANTED TO ASK ME?

I KNOW YOU HAD A CLASS FOR THREE YEARS

AND YOU STILL FILL IN.

THERE'S NO QUESTION THAT YOU'VE DONE YOUR SHARE,

BUT IT WOULD HELP OUT.

WELL, LISTEN, COULD WE TALK ABOUT IT SOME OTHER TIME?

I'M KIND OF IN A RUN.

OH, OF COURSE!

BUT I'M CONVINCED YOU'RE THE RIGHT MAN

BECAUSE YOUR LESSONS CERTAINLY WOULD NEVER BE

AS, UH, "DRY AS DUST."

UH...

IS THIS WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR?

NOW, ABOUT THAT SUNDAY SCHOOL JOB...?

I'M...I'M DEEPLY SORRY ABOUT THIS, PREACHER.

WELL, LET'S JUST SAY THAT THE PRESS MISQUOTED YOU

AND LET IT BE FORGOTTEN.

BECAUSE, YOU SEE, I FEEL THAT I REALLY CAME OUT AHEAD ON THIS.

JUST FOR THIS

I GOT YOU HOG-TIED FOR A WHOLE MONTH OF SUNDAYS.

21, 22, 23, 24.

YOU BOYS REMEMBER

HOW MANY OF THESE YOU PASSED AROUND?

NOT EXACTLY,

BUT IT WAS A STACK ABOUT THAT BIG.

WE DIDN'T MEAN TO DO ANYTHING WRONG, PA.

OPIE, YOU DON'T PUT STORIES LIKE THAT IN THE PAPER.

BUT, PA, THAT'S WHAT'S IN THE BIG PAPER.

WELL, I KNOW, BUT THAT'S...

WELL, THAT'S DIFFERENT.

WE DIDN'T MAKE ANY OF IT UP.

IT WAS ALL THE THINGS PEOPLE REALLY SAID.

WELL, JUST BECAUSE SOMEBODY SAID SOMETHING

DOESN'T MEAN IT HAS TO BE PRINTED.

YOU DON'T CIRCULATE STORIES

THAT ARE MEAN AND UNKIND ABOUT PEOPLE.

THERE ARE TOO MANY OTHER STORIES TO PUT IN-- NICE STORIES.

WHEN WE PUT IN THE NICE KIND OF STORIES

NOBODY WANTED TO BUY THE PAPER.

LET ME PUT IT ANOTHER WAY.

YOU ARE NOT TO DO IT.

NOW, WE'LL HAVE NO MORE DISCUSSION.

YOU CAN GO BACK TO YOUR LITTLE CLASS PAPER

OR GO OUT OF BUSINESS OR WHATEVER YOU WANT TO DO

BUT POSITIVELY NO MORE OF THIS.

IS THAT CLEAR? DID YOU GET 'EM ALL?

I GOT ALL I COULD FIND.

WELL...

WE'LL JUST HAVE TO WAIT NOW.

IF THE FRONT ROOM DON'T FILL UP WITH LAWYERS

I GUESS WE GOT AWAY WITH IT.

WELL...

THERE IT IS. 8:30 AND NO PHONE CALLS.

I GUESS WE GOT AWAY WITH IT.

YEAH, MAYBE WE'RE GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.

YEAH.

I THINK WE GOT OFF SCOT-FREE.

I GOT THAT EXTRA DUTY IN SUNDAY SCHOOL.

AND DON'T FORGET WE HAVE A WHOLE DINNER

OF MRS. FOSTER'S CHICKEN A LA KING.

OH, I DREAD IT.

I ALMOST GOT A LOAD OF BUCKSHOT FROM HAROLD GRIGSBY.

YEAH.

BUT AT LEAST IT'S OVER.

MAYBE THE BOYS LEARNED A LESSON OUT OF THIS.

WELL, MAYBE ALL OF US COULD LEARN SOMETHING FROM THIS.

WHAT?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ALL OF US?

WELL, WE'RE RESPONSIBLE

FOR ALL THIS LOOSE TALK GOING AROUND TOWN.

IF WE WANT THE BOYS TO BEHAVE BETTER,

WE'D BETTER SET THEM A BETTER EXAMPLE.

Aunt Bee: YES, OPIE?

JUST WANTED TO SAY GOOD NIGHT TO EVERYBODY.

GOOD NIGHT, OPIE.

I'M AWFUL SORRY ABOUT THINGS, PA.

WELL...LOOKS LIKE EVERYTHING'S

GOING TO WORK OUT ALL RIGHT.

GUESS IT WAS KIND OF DUMB OF US TO PRINT UP

TWO WHOLE PAGES OF THAT STUFF.

WELL, I SURE WISH... TWO PAGES?!

WE WENT AHEAD AND PRINTED UP

NEXT WEEK'S PAPER 'CAUSE WE HAD SO MUCH MORE STUFF.

THERE'S ANOTHER ONE?

WE DIDN'T GET IT OUT.

WE BUNDLED IT AND THREW IT IN THE TRASH.

I EVEN SAW THE TRUCK COME PICK IT UP,

SO NOBODY'LL EVER GET TO READ IT.

OH...WELL...

THANK HEAVENS FOR THAT, HUH?

WELL, COME ON, OFF TO BED.

GOOD NIGHT, EVERYBODY.

GOOD NIGHT.

HMM!

IMAGINE THEY HAD A WHOLE 'NOTHER PAGE OF THAT STUFF?

YEAH.

GOOD THING NOBODY GETS TO READ IT.

BOY, YOU'RE NOT KIDDING. NO TELLING WHAT KIND OF GOSSIP

THOSE BOYS MIGHT HAVE PICKED UP AROUND TOWN.

WELL, I GUESS I BETTER... I BETTER GO.

I GOT THE DUTY.

I'LL, UH, SEE YOU IN THE MORNING, BARN.

GOOD NIGHT, AUNT BEE.

GOOD NIGHT, ANDY.

WELL, GOOD NIGHT.

WELL, ALL'S WELL THAT ENDS WELL.

I GUESS I BETTER BE GOING, TOO.

I GOT TO RETURN GOOBER'S CAR TO HIM.

GOOD NIGHT, BARNEY.

YEAH, WELL, I'LL, UH, SEE YOU TOMORROW, AUNT BEE.

BARNEY?

WHAT, UH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

OH, WELL, I JUST GOT TO WORRYING,

YOU KNOW, THAT MAYBE THAT OTHER PAGE

WASN'T BURNED PROPER.

OH.

SO, I THOUGHT I'D COME DOWN AND MAKE SURE.

WOULDN'T DO FOR THAT TO GET OUT.

NO TELLIN' WHAT'S IN IT.

YEAH, YEAH.

AUNT BEE!

IT'S JUST US, IT'S JUST US.

SORRY.

WHAT, UH...WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WELL, I WAS JUST PASSING BY.

OH, YOU PROBABLY WANTED TO BE SURE

THAT THE PAPERS WERE PROPERLY DESTROYED.

THAT'S IT, EXACTLY.

MM-HMM.

SAY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, ANDY?

UH...THE SAME AS, UH, BOTH OF YOU.

WELL, DID YOU FIND ANYTHING?

WELL, NOT YET, BUT THEY OUGHT TO BE

RIGHT AROUND HERE SOMEWHERE.

EVERYBODY LOOK.

HEY!

HUH? IS THAT IT?

YEAH, I THINK. LET'S SEE.

YES, YES, THAT'S IT.

THAT'S IT.

WELL...GOOD.

WE'LL GO AHEAD AND GET RID OF THESE.

YES, SIR, AND THE QUICKER THE BETTER.

YES.

HERE IT IS, PA.

THE NEW, REVISED EDITION OF THE MAYBERRY SUN.

NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.

OPIE, DON'T TELL ME YOU WENT AND PRINTED UP ANOTHER PAPER.

IT'S JUST A CLASS PAPER LIKE YOU SAID WE COULD DO.

YOU SURE? UH-HUH.

THERE'S NOTHING ABOUT GROWN-UPS AT ALL, HONEST.

WELL, I GOT TO MAKE DELIVERIES.

REMEMBER, YOU OWE ME 6 CENTS.

FOR A MINUTE THERE...

YEAH.

LET'S SEE WHO FORGOT THEIR LUNCH BOX TODAY.

"CINDY AMES HAD A BIRTHDAY PARTY

AND DID NOT INVITE HER BEST FRIEND, DIANA."

"A LITTLE BIRD TELLS US SALLY TOMS

"DOES NOT HAVE NATURALLY CURLY HAIR.

HER MOTHER ROLLS IT UP IN CARDBOARD."

"BETTY PARKER LETS BOBBY WILSON CARRY HER BOOKS,

BUT DOES HE KNOW SHE WRITES SUGAR NOTES TO HECTOR STILES?"

WELL, HE TOLD THE TRUTH.

HE'S NOT WRITIN' ABOUT GROWN-UPS.

NO, NO, HE'S NOT.

SURE CAUGHT OUR STYLE GOOD, THOUGH, DIDN'T HE?