Original subtitles

STARRING ANDY GRIFFITH...

WITH RONNY HOWARD...

ALSO STARRING DON KNOTTS.

ANGE? HUH?

HERE'S JANUARY THROUGH MAY, 1939.

HUH. WELL, THROW IT IN THE BOX.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "THROW IT IN THE BOX"?

AREN'T YOU KEEPING THOSE IN ORDER?

NO, WHY SHOULD I?

WELL, ANDY, THESE ARE GOVERNMENT RECORDS.

THEY'RE JUST OLD, DEAD FILES. THEY'RE GONNA BE SETTING

IN THE BASEMENT OF THE FIREHOUSE.

WELL, THEY'RE STILL LEGAL DOCUMENTS.

THERE'S A PROPER WAY TO HANDLE THEM,

AND THERE'S AN IMPROPER WAY.

YOU'RE A NEAT FELLA, AREN'T YOU, BARN?

YEAH, AS A MATTER OF FACT, I AM,

WHEN IT COMES TO LEGAL DOCUMENTS.

OR WHEN IT COMES TO ANYTHING FOR THAT MATTER.

MY MOTHER WAS THE SAME WAY.

NEATNESS COUNTS.

MAKE ORDER ORDER OF THE DAY.

HMM.

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT I'D DO IF I WAS YOU?

WHAT? PUT 'EM IN ORDER.

I WILL.

HEY. HEY, LISTEN TO THIS.

"SEPTEMBER 23, 1941, 2:00 P.M.,

"OTIS CAMPBELL BOOKED FOR INTOXICATION

AT THE MAYBERRY GARDEN CLUB FLOWER SHOW."

I DON'T SEE ANYTHING SO STRANGE ABOUT THAT.

HE'S BEEN STEWED

AT EVERY IMPORTANT FUNCTION WE'VE HAD IN THIS TOWN.

YEAH, BUT LISTEN...

"SENTENCE SUSPENDED

BECAUSE IT WAS DEFENDANT'S FIRST OFFENSE."

LET ME SEE THAT. YEAH.

WELL, SO THIS IS WHERE IT ALL STARTED, HUH?

YEAH, RIGHT THERE AT THE FLOWER SHOW.

PROBABLY PASSED OUT

IN SOMEBODY'S POPPIES OR SOMETHING.

BOY, THERE'S A LOT OF WATER GONE UNDER THE BRIDGE SINCE THEN.

GOOD BIT OF 3.2, TOO.

I BETTER KEEP THIS FILE OPEN.

WHAT'S THE NAME OF THAT?

"SINNERS LOSE ALL THEIR GUILTY STAIN."

OH, YEAH, YEAH.

Both: * ...LOSE ALL

THEIR GUILTY STAINS *

* LOSE ALL THEIR GUILTY STAINS

* LOSE ALL...

ANGE? THEIR GUILTY * -- WHAT?

HERE'S ONE FOR YOU. AN ASSAULT CASE.

ASSAULT? YEAH.

WHO WAS INVOLVED?

YOU'D NEVER GUESS IN A MILLION YEARS.

NO, I... WHO? GUESS.

OH, I CAN'T GUESS.

GUESS. UH --

FLOYD LAWSON AND CHARLIE FOLEY.

FLOYD AND OLD MAN FOLEY?

YEAH.

YOU'RE KIDDIN'. NO.

WELL, WHO ASSAULTED WHO?

IT JUST SAYS THEY WAS BOTH ARRESTED

ON AUGUST 9, 1946.

WELL, I'LL BE DOGGED.

11:25 A.M.

I CAN'T IMAGINE EITHER ONE ASSAULTIN' ANYBODY.

TWO OF THE GENTLEST FELLAS I'VE EVER KNOWN.

WELL, THIS WAS... LET'S SEE...

THAT'S 19 YEARS AGO.

THEY COULD'VE BEEN A COUPLE OF HOTHEADS

IN THEM DAYS.

YEAH.

HOW DID THE CASE COME OUT?

WELL, LET'S SEE...

WELL, IT DON'T SAY.

IT DON'T SAY?

NO, LOOK AT IT.

IT'S JUST BLANK.

CASE NEVER CAME TO TRIAL.

NOTHIN' RESOLVED, NO VERDICT, NO NOTHIN'.

JUST SAYS THE BOTH OF 'EM WAS ARRESTED

AND THAT WAS THE END OF IT.

I'LL BE DOGGED. HUH.

WELL...

COULDN'T HAVE BEEN TOO IMPORTANT.

JUST THROW IT AWAY OR FILE IT.

WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU'RE JUST GONNA PASS IT OFF AND FORGET ABOUT IT?

WELL, SURE, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW, BUT WE OUGHT TO DO SOMETHING.

WHY? BECAUSE AN ASSAULT WAS COMMITTED.

AN ARREST WAS MADE AND NOTHING EVER HAPPENED.

THE CASE WAS NEVER PROPERLY DISPOSED OF.

WELL, THAT WAS 19 YEARS AGO.

WELL, SO WHAT?

WHETHER IT WAS 19 YEARS AGO OR 29 YEARS AGO,

IT STILL BEHOOVES US TO SETTLE IT PROPERLY IF WE CAN.

WELL, YEAH, BUT THIS HAPPENED BEFORE WE EVER TOOK OFFICE.

THIS HAPPENED DURING SHERIFF POINDEXTER'S TIME.

THAT DOESN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.

THE PEOPLE INVOLVED ARE STILL AROUND.

AND I THINK WE AT LEAST OUGHT TO TRY AND SEE WHAT HAPPENED.

WELL, HOW YOU FIGURE ON DOIN' THAT?

IT'S VERY SIMPLE.

I'LL GO TO THE PRINCIPALS IN THE CASE.

OH, NO... I'LL GO TO FOLEY AND I'LL GO TO FLOYD.

NO, BUT... I'LL TALK TO 'EM.

I OUGHT TO DO IT RIGHT NOW.

YOU COMING WITH ME?

UH... WELL...

YOU GOING TO THE BARBERSHOP FIRST?

YEAH.

WELL... I'LL GO WITH YOU.

I KNEW ONCE YOU THOUGHT ABOUT IT

YOU'D SEE IT MY WAY.

IT'S NOT BECAUSE OF THAT.

I NEED A HAIRCUT.

OH, GOOD MORNIN', BARNEY.

MORNIN', ANDY.

YOU SEE THE PAPER THIS MORNING?

THERE'S A LITTLE ARTICLE.

"ROBERT GRIBBLE AND EMMA LARS

ANNOUNCE THEIR COMING NUPTIALS."

THAT'S INTERESTING.

THE REASON ANDY AND ME ARE HERE...

EVER SEE WHAT'S WRITTEN

IN THE CEMENT OUTSIDE THE SHOP?

NO.

GO OUT AND TAKE A LOOK. YOU, TOO, BARNEY.

SEE WHAT'S WRITTEN IN THAT CEMENT.

WE'RE NOT HERE TO LOOK AT CEMENT.

WHAT'S OUT THERE?

IT SAYS, "BOBBY GRIBBLE HATES EMMA LARS."

SOME KID WROTE THAT 11 YEARS AGO

WHEN THAT SIDEWALK WAS FIRST LAID.

NO KIDDIN'.

YEAH, 11 YEARS AGO

BOBBY GRIBBLE HATED EMMA LARS.

NOW THEY'RE ANNOUNCING THEIR COMING NUPTIALS.

UH... AIN'T LIFE FUNNY?

FLOYD!

CAN'T YOU JUST SEE 'EM WAY BACK IN SCHOOL?

HIM DUNKING HER PIGTAILS IN THE INKWELL

AND HIDING HER PENCILS AND MAKING FUN AND...

OH, BOY, SHE'LL GET EVEN WITH HIM NOW.

YOU CAN BET ON THAT.

FLOYD, THERE'S SOMETHING WE HAVE TO DISCUSS HERE.

WHAT'S THAT, BARNEY?

AUGUST 9, 1946.

AH... BOBBY GRIBBLE AND EMMA LARS...

YEAH... CAN, CAN I SEE THAT?

OH, YES, YES...

FLOYD, PAY ATTENTION HERE.

NOW, I'M TALKING ABOUT ASSAULT.

ASSAULT?

YES, ASSAULT.

WERE YOU OR WERE YOU NOT INVOLVED IN AN ASSAULT CASE

WITH MR. FOLEY ON AUGUST 9, 1946?

I... YEAH, SEEMS TO ME

I DO REMEMBER SOMETHING ABOUT THAT.

ANGE...

PLEASE.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S HAVE IT.

GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST.

HOW'D THIS COME UP, ANDY?

WE WAS GOIN' THROUGH SOME PAPERS

AT THE COURTHOUSE

AND THIS THING BETWEEN YOU

AND MR. FOLEY CAME OUT.

WHAT DID IT SAY?

IT DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.

THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT.

THE CASE WAS NEVER PROPERLY SETTLED.

AND WE WANT TO GET IT CLEARED UP.

OH, I SEE.

ALL RIGHT, LET'S HAVE IT.

NOW, HOW ABOUT THIS CASE

BETWEEN YOU AND MR. FOLEY?

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW

BOBBY AND EMMA WERE GOING TOGETHER.

OH, YES, HE'S BEEN GOING...

EVER SINCE HE BROKE OFF WITH ANDREW BEASLEY'S GIRL.

WHAT HAPPENED IN THIS CASE

BETWEEN YOU AND MR. FOLEY?

WELL, ACTUALLY, BARNEY, UH, EH...

I DON'T REMEMBER.

YOU DON'T REMEMBER?!

HOW COULD YOU FORGET A THING LIKE THAT?

YOU WERE ARRESTED, WEREN'T YOU?

ARRESTED?

IT'S ON THE BOOKS.

WELL, I DON'T RE...

I DON'T REMEMBER BEING ARRESTED.

YOU MEAN, ME, ARRESTED?

LIKE A COMMON CRIMINAL?

DON'T PUSH HIM, BARNEY.

FLOYD, I DIDN'T COME IN FOR THIS.

I COME IN TO GET A HAIRCUT.

OH, ALL RIGHT...

NOW, JUST A SECOND.

I'M GOING TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.

IF YOU WON'T TALK, MAYBE FOLEY WILL.

BUT YOU JUST REMEMBER THIS.

I GAVE YOU YOUR CHANCE.

SAY, ON YOUR WAY OUT

TAKE A LOOK AT THAT SIDEWALK.

SEE IF IT DON'T SAY

"BOBBY GRIBBLE HATES EMMA LARS."

...AND NOW THEY'RE ANNOUNCING THEIR NUPTIALS.

LIFE'S FUNNY, YOU KNOW THAT?

ISN'T IT?

YEAH, BARNEY, THAT WAS QUITE A DAY.

YEAH, BUT YOU DO REMEMBER, THOUGH?

I REMEMBER SOME OF IT, BUT NOT EVERYTHING.

YOU SAID YOU WERE GETTING A HAIRCUT

AND YOU FELL ASLEEP.

I ALWAYS FALL ASLEEP WHEN I GET A HAIRCUT.

BUT THAT DAY, WHEN I WOKE UP

I FOUND THAT HE'D SHAVED ME.

YEAH, BUT YOU NEVER ASKED FOR A SHAVE, RIGHT?

RIGHT, BUT FLOYD WAS JUST STARTING IN BUSINESS

AND HE WANTED TO RUN UP A LITTLE BILL.

YEAH, I GOT YOU.

ANYWAY, WHEN I PROTESTED,

ONE WORD LED TO ANOTHER.

FIRST THING YOU KNOW

HE PUNCHED ME RIGHT IN THE NOSE.

WHAT'S FUNNY ABOUT THAT?

WELL, IT WASN'T REALLY A PUNCH.

CAN YOU IMAGINE FLOYD PUNCHING ANYBODY?

IT WAS MORE OF A LITTLE BOOP.

ANYWAY, I GUESS HE HAD THE RIGHT

BECAUSE I CALLED HIM A CROOK.

YEAH, BUT HE PUNCHED YOU, THOUGH.

HE PUNCHED YOU-- YOU'RE SURE ABOUT THAT?

OH, ABSOLUTELY, AND GOOBER IN THE GARAGE

HE WAS A LITTLE BOY THEN, WAS THERE

SAW THE WHOLE THING.

GOOBER, HUH.

OKAY, MR. FOLEY, THE CASE

IS COMING PRETTY CLEAR NOW.

JUST ONE MORE THING, IF YOU'LL COOPERATE

I THINK WE CAN WRAP THIS UP.

AW, I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT BARNEY, FLOYD.

HE GETS A LITTLE EXCITED

ABOUT THINGS SOMETIMES, YOU KNOW.

YOU KNOW, I THINK HIS TROUBLE IS

HE'S NOT MARRIED.

NOW, IF HE WAS MARRIED,

THESE LITTLE THINGS WOULDN'T BOTHER HIM.

OH, HEY, HERE HE COMES.

OH, BARN, EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?

GOT THE CASE ALL SOLVED?

COULD BE, COULD BE.

WHAT YOU GOT THERE, BARNEY?

INTERROGATION OF...

CHARLES FOLEY, BY DEPUTY FIFE

CONCERNING ASSAULT CASE OF AUGUST 9, 1946.

SUBJECT CHARLES FOLEY, STATES THAT ON DAY IN QUESTION

HE WAS IN FLOYD LAWSON'S BARBERSHOP GETTING A HAIRCUT

AND FELL ASLEEP.

HEY, YEAH, THAT CHARLIE WOULD...

ALWAYS FALLS ASLEEP IN THE CHAIR.

SUBJECT FURTHER STATES THAT WHEN HE WOKE UP

HE HAD NOT ONLY A HAIRCUT, BUT A SHAVE --

A SHAVE HE HAD NOT REQUESTED.

WAIT A MINUTE-- THAT'S NOT TRUE.

WHEN SUBJECT PROTESTED, WORDS WERE EXCHANGED

AND SUBJECT WAS PUNCHED IN THE NOSE.

WELL, WHO'S "SUBJECT"?

FOLEY. FOLEY SAID I PUNCHED HIM IN THE NOSE?

HE DID. AW, NO, BARNEY,

THAT ISN'T THE WAY IT HAPPENED.

NOW, HE ASKED FOR THAT SHAVE.

I REMEMBER THAT DISTINCTLY.

OH, YOUR MEMORY'S COMING BACK NOW, HUH?

WELL, GOOD.

BESIDES, IF HE SAYS

I PUNCHED HIM IN THE NOSE,

HE'S TELLING AN OUTRIGHT FIB.

YOU GOT A STATEMENT TO MAKE, I'M READY TO TAKE IT.

BARNEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?

NOW STOP THIS.

NO, NO, NO, PLEASE, NO, NO.

NO, I JUST WANT TO SAY ONE THING.

NOW, CHARLIE FOLEY IS A NICE PERSON

BUT HE'S A CHEAPSKATE.

NOW, YOU KNOW THAT YOURSELF.

LEAVE ME OUT OF THIS.

I MEAN, AS MANY TIMES

AS YOU'VE GONE IN HIS STORE

HAS HE EVER OFFERED YOU A PIECE OF FRUIT?

NOT SO FAST, I'M TRYING TO GET THIS DOWN.

AND HIS MEMORY-- IT NEVER WAS TOO GOOD.

I MEAN, IF HE SAYS I PUNCHED HIM.

FLOYD, YOU WANT TO FINISH ME, SO I CAN GO.

WE'RE CERTAINLY GETTING TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT STORIES.

WELL... WELL, MINE'S THE RIGHT ONE.

WELL, HERE WE ARE, BARNEY.

SAY, CHARLIE, DID YOU TELL BARNEY

THAT COCK-AND-BULL STORY HE WROTE DOWN THERE?

THAT WAS NO COCK-AND-BULL STORY.

THAT WAS THE TRUTH.

YOU MEAN, IT WAS THE EXACT OPPOSITE.

IT WAS NOT THE EXACT OPPOSITE...

YES, IT WAS, CHARLIE.

BOYS, BOYS...

NOW, WAIT, WAIT A MINUTE, BOYS,

BOYS, WAIT A MINUTE.

ANDY, JUST A SECOND.

NOW, THE REASON I ASKED MR. FOLEY

AND GOOBER TO COME OVER HERE

WAS SO WE COULD REENACT THIS CASE

JUST AS IT HAPPENED 19 YEARS AGO.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO THAT FOR?

WELL, LOOK AT THE DIFFERENCE

IN THEIR STORIES.

I FIGURED IF WE COULD

JUST GO THROUGH THE WHOLE THING

STEP BY STEP, JUST AS IT HAPPENED

WE COULD CLEAR IT UP ONCE AND FOR ALL,

GET IT OFF THE BOOKS.

NOW, IS THAT AGREED?

WELL, I WISH YOU'D JUST FINISH ME UP

SO I CAN GET OUT.

NOW, FIRST THING WE OUGHT TO DO

IS ESTABLISH WHERE EVERYBODY WAS.

YOU HAVE A PIECE OF CHALK?

YEAH, RIGHT ON THE SHELF.

ALL RIGHT, WE'LL

START WITH YOU, GOOBER.

NOW THIS IS IMPORTANT.

WHERE WERE YOU WHEN THE ARGUMENT BEGAN?

YOU MEAN, WAY BACK THAT OTHER TIME?

YES, WAY BACK THAT OTHER TIME.

I DON'T KNOW, I WAS JUST FIVE YEARS OLD.

ALL RIGHT, IF YOU WERE WAITIN' FOR A HAIRCUT--

YOU MUST'VE BEEN SITTIN'

OVER THERE, RIGHT?

I RECKON. OKAY, GO, SIT, SIT.

ALL RIGHT, NOW.

YOU HAD A DIRECT VIEW OF THE WHOLE THING.

I WAS PROBABLY READIN' A COMIC BOOK.

I ALWAYS READ A COMIC BOOK WAITIN' FOR A HAIRCUT.

ALL RIGHT, THEN, TAKE A COMIC BOOK.

CAN I HAVE ANOTHER? I'VE READ THIS.

GOOBER, THIS IS JUST PRETEND.

IT DON'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE IF YOU READ IT.

BUT I READ IT TWICE.

THERE, NOW, ALL RIGHT.

NOW, MR. FOLEY, AS I UNDERSTAND IT

YOU ARRIVED AT THE BARBERSHOP,

CAME IN THROUGH THAT DOOR, AND WENT DIRECT

TO THE BARBER CHAIR. IS THAT RIGHT?

YES, I GUESS SO.

ANDY, WOULD YOU MIND GETTIN' UP

AND LETTIN' MR. FOLEY SIT DOWN?

BARNEY, I WANT YOU TO STOP THIS

AND STOP IT RIGHT NOW.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

RAKIN' UP SOMETHIN' HAPPENED YEARS AGO

AND NOBODY CARES.

I CARE, I SHOULD THINK YOU WOULD, TOO.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND YOUR ATTITUDE.

YOU'RE THE SHERIFF.

YOU'D THINK YOU'D BE THE ONE TO CARE.

WANNA KNOW THE TRUTH?

I DON'T EVEN CARE SOME.

ALL I ASKED FOR WAS A HAIRCUT.

OW! OW! HE HIT ME!

HE HIT ME, BARNEY!

ANDY, DID YOU SEE IT?!

NO, I DIDN'T SEE IT.

GOOBER, YOU SAW IT.

NO, I WAS READIN' THIS COMIC BOOK.

WELL, HE DID HIT ME!

AND I WANT HIM ARRESTED.

YOU SEE? YOU SEE?

I WANT HIM ARRESTED, ANDY, RIGHT NOW.

MR. FOLEY, WHY IN THE WORLD DID HE HIT YOU ANYWAY?

BECAUSE HE'S A MEAN, VICIOUS PERSON.

LOOK AT MY NOSE. IS IT BLEEDIN'?

NO. IT PROBABLY BROKE AND IT'LL BLEED LATER.

WHAT DID YOU SAY

TO GET HIM MAD ENOUGH TO HIT YOU?

I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.

MAYBE IF YOU'D TALK TO HIM.

NO, I WON'T TALK TO HIM AGAIN

UNTIL I GET HIM IN A COURT OF LAW!

MR. FOLEY...

I'VE GOT HIM COLD. I GOT THREE WITNESSES.

Y'ALL SAW THE WHOLE THING.

I DIDN'T.

I WAS TALKIN' TO BARNEY.

BARNEY AND GOOBER MUST'VE SEEN IT.

WHEN THEY GET ON THE WITNESS STAND,

THEY'LL HAVE TO TELL THE TRUTH!

THERE THEY ARE.

BARNEY, TELL THE TRUTH.

YOU SAW HIM HIT ME IN COLD BLOOD.

NO, I WAS TALKIN' TO ANDY.

DON'T GIVE ME THAT!

GOOBER WAS THERE.

HE PROBABLY SEEN THE WHOLE THING.

HOW ABOUT IT?

I DIDN'T SEE NOTHIN'.

I WAS READIN' A COMIC BOOK.

YOU'RE A LIAR. I AM NOT.

YOU SAW HIM HIT ME ON THE NOSE.

LOOK AT THAT NOSE.

LOOK LIKE IT'S BEEN HIT.

I NEVER SEEN YA GET HIT.

YOU'RE A LIAR.

I AM NOT. SEE WHAT YOU STARTED?

YOU'RE NOT TRYIN' TO SAY THIS IS ALL MY FAULT?

...FOR 19 YEARS!

OOH! HE HIT ME, ANDY!

RIGHT ON THE NOSE!

HIT ME... OOH! OOH!

IT'S BLEEDIN'...

HI, AUNT BEE, OPE.

HI, PAW.

HI, ANDY.

WHAT'S FOR SUPPER?

WELL, YOU'LL SEE.

WHAT'S THAT? OH, ANDY,

THAT'S A POULTICE

FOR MR. FOLEY'S NOSE.

IT'LL HELP TAKE DOWN THE INFLAMMATION.

WELL, I ATE SOME OF IT.

WELL, IT WON'T HURT YOU.

OH.

YOU KNOW ALL ABOUT THE FIGHT, DO YOU?

YES, DISGRACEFUL.

WHY'D FLOYD HIT HIM, PAW?

OH, THAT'S A LONG STORY, OPE.

GEE, EVERY TIME SOMETHING GOOD HAPPENS

YOU ALWAYS SAY IT'S A LONG STORY.

OPIE, TAKE THIS TO MR. FOLEY

AND TELL HIM TO PUT ON A THIN LAYER AT BEDTIME.

OKAY, AUNT BEE.

YOU MIGHT HAVE TO MAKE ONE UP FOR GOOBER.

FOLEY PUNCHED HIM.

FOR HEAVEN'S SAKES, WHAT'S HAPPENING TO THIS TOWN, ANYWAY?

BARNEY.

BARNEY! YEAH.

SOMETHING HAPPENED 19 YEARS AGO

AND BARNEY STIRRED THE WHOLE THING UP

AND NOW EVERYBODY'S MAD ALL OVER AGAIN.

WELL, WHY WOULD HE DO A THING LIKE THAT?

'CAUSE HE'S A NUT.

MORNIN', FLOYD. MORNIN', ANDY.

WANT ME TO FINISH YOUR HAIRCUT?

NO, FLOYD, I JUST WANTED TO TALK TO YOU.

WHAT ABOUT?

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR NOSE?

I GOT PUNCHED, ANDY, PUNCHED.

DID FOLEY DO THAT?

NO, WASN'T FOLEY.

OTIS PUNCHED ME.

OTIS! WHAT FOR?

WHEN HE COME IN, WE STARTED TALKING ABOUT FOLEY.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

HE TOOK FOLEY'S SIDE

SAME AS HE DID 19 YEARS AGO.

AND ONE WORD LED TO ANOTHER AND... HE PUNCHED ME.

HE'S A DISTANT KIN TO FOLEY, YOU KNOW.

YEAH, I KNOW, I KNOW.

I'M THINKING ABOUT HAVING HIM ARRESTED!

YOU THINK I SHOULD, ANDY?

WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN?

ABOUT TEN MINUTES AGO.

BOY, I STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW IT HAPPENED.

I WENT INTO THE GARAGE TO GET SOME GAS

AND NOBODY WAS AROUND.

SO I HONKED THE HORN A COUPLE OF TIMES

AND THEN GOOBER CAME OUT OF THE OFFICE

AND HE HIT ME RIGHT IN THE NOSE.

OH, I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE, ANDY.

GILLY'S SWEARING OUT A WARRANT.

LET'S GO, GILLY, WE'LL TALK LATER.

BUT YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S ABOUT.

YEAH, I HEARD GOOBER HIT YOU.

WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT SOME OTHER TIME.

WELL, DID YOU EVER HEAR ANYTHING LIKE THAT?

WONDER WHAT GOT INTO HIM?

BARNEY. YES.

THIS THING HAS GONE FAR ENOUGH

AND I WANT IT STOPPED RIGHT NOW.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, ANDY?

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

FLOYD AND FOLEY HAVE GOT

THIS WHOLE TOWN DIVIDING INTO TWO CAMPS

AND WE'RE GOING TO WIND UP

WITH A FULL-SCALE WAR ON OUR HANDS

AND I WANT IT STOPPED.

WELL, UH, SEE, ANDY, THAT'S NOT OUR FAULT.

NO, THAT'S NOT OUR FAULT, IT'S YOUR FAULT.

YOU STARTED THE WHOLE BLAMED THING.

ARE YOU SERIOUS?

YOU MEAN BECAUSE I WAS TRYING

TO GET TO THE BOTTOM OF A CASE

BECAUSE I WAS PURSUING MY DUTY AS A POLICE OFFICER?

I WAS TRYING TO BE NEAT...

OH, SHUT UP!

HI, PAW.

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?

I GOT IN A FIGHT AT SCHOOL

AND MISS CRUMP SENT ME HOME.

I GOT TO HAVE A NOTE BEFORE I CAN GET BACK IN.

WHO DID YOU FIGHT WITH? JOHNNY PAUL.

I THOUGHT JOHNNY PAUL

WAS YOUR BEST FRIEND.

HE AIN'T ANYMORE.

HE SAID SOMETHIN' AND I HAD TO HIT HIM.

WHAT DID HE SAY?

WELL, HE SAID FLOYD WAS A CROOK.

HE SAID HE CHARGED HIS UNCLE, MR. FOLEY,

FOR A SHAVE HE NEVER WANTED.

AND HE SAID YOU'RE SIDING WITH FLOYD.

GET IT!

SHERIFF'S OFFICE.

YEAH. HI, OTIS.

WHAT?!

LAMAR TUTTLE?

WELL, WELL, WHAT...? JUST A MINUTE.

WHAT HAPPENED?

OTIS GOT IN AN ARGUMENT

WITH LAMAR TUTTLE.

LAMAR PUNCHED HIM IN THE NOSE.

LAMAR TUTTLE?

YEAH, LAMAR'S FLOYD'S COUSIN.

THIS IS IT.

YOU GO GET FLOYD AND MR. FOLEY

AND BRING 'EM IN HERE.

I'LL CALL YOU RIGHT BACK, OTIS.

WELL, HOLD YOUR HEAD BACK.

IN JUST A FEW MINUTES, I'LL GET FLOYD...

DO IT RIGHT NOW, AND TRY TO DO NO MORE DAMAGE ON THE WAY.

DAMAGE?! WHAT...?

NOW!

OPIE, GO HOME, GET CLEAN CLOTHES,

COME BACK, AND I'LL GIVE YOU A NOTE.

OKAY, PAW.

H-HELLO. SHERIFF'S OFFICE.

WELL... WHA... BETTY ANN, BETTY ANN,

TALK A LITTLE SLOWER.

I CAN'T UNDERSTAND YOU.

WHO PUNCHED YOU?

NOW, I'LL TELL YOU WHY WE'RE HAVING THIS LITTLE HEARING.

WE'RE HAVING THIS HEARING

SO WE CAN SETTLE THIS THING BETWEEN YOU TWO FELLOWS

ONCE AND FOR ALL.

HOW CAN YOU HAVE A HEARING

WITHOUT YOUR MATERIAL WITNESS...

NOW, WHAT STARTED OUT AS A LITTLE, INSIGNIFICANT THING

HAS GOTTEN BLOWN UP ALL OUT OF REASON.

PEOPLE ARE FIGHTING ALL OVER TOWN

AND SOME OF 'EM DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE ANOTHER.

GOOBER OUGHT TO BE HERE.

I SAY, GOOBER OUGHT TO BE HERE.

YOU EXPECT THIS HEARING TO BE OFFICIAL,

YOU OUGHT TO HAVE YOUR MATERIAL WITNESS.

I OUGHT TO GO GET HIM.

GO GET HIM.

I WILL.

MAYBE IT'S A GOOD THING BARNEY LEFT.

MAYBE NOW WE CAN SETTLE THIS THING LIKE FRIENDS.

FRIENDS, HUH?

DO FRIENDS PUNCH YOU IN THE NOSE?

DO FRIENDS CALL YOU A CROOK?

WELL, YOU ARE A CROOK! WHAT?!

WAIT A MINUTE.

NOW, LET'S NOT START

THE WHOLE THING ALL OVER AGAIN.

YOU'VE BOTH KNOWN ONE ANOTHER MUCH TOO LONG

TO TALK TO EACH OTHER LIKE THAT.

NOW, I MEAN IT.

YOU'VE BEEN FRIENDS FOR 20 YEARS.

MORE THAN FRIENDS. YOU'VE BEEN NEIGHBORS.

YOU MUST HAVE SEEN ONE ANOTHER

THROUGH A LOT OF TROUBLE IN THAT TIME.

NOW, YOU'RE NOT KIDS, EITHER ONE OF YOU.

AND YOU BOTH KNOW THE VALUE OF OLD FRIENDS.

AND THE FIRST LAW OF FRIENDSHIP IS TO BE READY TO FORGIVE.

I KNOW YOU'RE BOTH SORE ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY.

BUT I DON'T BELIEVE ANYTHING THAT'S HAPPENED

COULDN'T BE MADE RIGHT BY A WARM, FORGIVING HANDSHAKE.

DO YOU?

WELL, DO YOU?

YOU KNOW, CHARLIE, THAT'S JUST ABOUT THE SAME THING

THAT SHERIFF POINDEXTER SAID TO US 19 YEARS AGO.

THAT'S RIGHT, IT WAS.

WELL, WHAT HAPPENED THEN?

WELL... WE SHOOK HANDS, DIDN'T WE, CHARLIE?

THAT'S RIGHT. WE DID.

AND THEN I INVITED HIM OVER FOR A FREE SHAVE.

THAT'S WHAT HAPPENED.

WELL, IF IT WORKED THEN

I DON'T SEE ANY REASON WHY IT COULDN'T WORK NOW.

DOES THAT MEAN I GET A FREE SHAVE?

OH, WHAT DID I TELL YOU, ANDY.

HE'S A NICE FELLOW.

BUT HE ALWAYS WAS A CHEAPSKATE!

WELL, I GOT HIM, HERE HE IS.

HEY, ANDY.

HEY, GOOBER.

DID YOU TAKE A RECESS?

NO, THE CASE IS CLOSED.

THE CASE IS CLOSED?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

JUST WHAT I SAID, THE CASE IS CLOSED.

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FOR?

THE DOCUMENT.

WHAT DOCUMENT?

THE DOCUMENT THAT CLOSES THE CASE.

DID THEY AGREE TO DROP CHARGES?

DON'T MESS UP THE PAPERS, IT'S NOT THERE.

HUH? OH.

IT'S NOT THERE, EITHER.

WELL, WELL, WHAT DID YOU DO WITH IT?

WELL, ACTUALLY, BARNEY, I DON'T HAVE A PAPER.

SEE, WE JUST TALKED IT OVER LIKE FRIENDS.

THEY SHOOK HANDS, AND THAT WAS THAT.

THEY SHOOK HANDS!

YOU MEAN THEY DIDN'T SIGN ANYTHING?

NO.

WELL, THEN THE CASE

STILL ISN'T CLOSED.

IT'S AS OPEN AS IT EVER WAS.

YOU KNOW, ANDY, BARNEY'S A WONDERFUL FELLER

BUT SOMETIMES I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND HIM, DO YOU?

YEAH. HE'S A NUT.

OH.

WHERE YOU RECKON HE'S RUN OFF TO?

OH, I DON'T...

HE'S GONE TO THE BARBERSHOP, COME ON!

OH, THAT'S A GOOD HAIRCUT, FLOYD.

OH, THANK YOU, BARNEY.

VERY GOOD.

UM...

A DOLLAR. MM-HMM.

$1.50.

AND $1.75.

IT'S $2 EVEN.

$2?

I THOUGHT A HAIRCUT WAS $1.75.

WHAT'S THE OTHER TWO BITS FOR?

WELL, FOR TONIC. YOU SAID YOU WANTED TONIC.

I SAID I DIDN'T WANT IT DRY. I WANTED WATER.

BUT I USED TONIC.

WATER'S NO GOOD FOR THE HAIR. IT DRIES UP YOUR SCALP.

WELL, I'M NOT GONNA PAY FOR IT.

THE HECK YOU'RE NOT! YOU GOT IT ON YOUR HEAD!

WELL, I DIDN'T ASK FOR IT!

WHAT'S GOING ON?

FLOYD USED TONIC ON MY HAIR, AND I DIDN'T ASK FOR IT.

SO I'M NOT GONNA HIM THE QUARTER.

HE DID ASK FOR IT. HE ALWAYS GETS TONIC.

BUT I DIDN'T ASK FOR IT THIS TIME!

I DIDN'T ASK FOR IT BY NAME, DID I?

SO WHAT? GIVE HIM THE QUARTER.

ANDY, I'M NOT GIVING HIM THE QUARTER!

HE CAN PULL THAT ON SOME PEOPLE.

HE'S NOT PULLING IT ON ME.

GIVE HIM THE QUARTER.

IT'S NOT THE MONEY. IT'S THE PRINCIPLE.

GIVE HIM THE QUARTER.

YOU WANT TO FINISH THAT HAIRCUT YOU STARTED

THE OTHER DAY?

IT'S BAD. WATER'S BAD FOR YOUR HAIR.