Original subtitles

STARRING ANDY GRIFFITH...

WITH RONNY HOWARD...

ALSO STARRING DON KNOTTS.

MORNING, ANGE.

Shh. Morning.

What's the matter?

NOTHING. OTIS IS TRYING TO GET A LITTLE EXTRA SLEEP.

OH, WELL, NOW I BELIEVE I'VE HEARD JUST ABOUT EVERYTHING.

A PRISONER IN CUSTODY.

WHAT ARE WE RUNNING HERE, THE MAYBERRY MOTOR LODGE?

BARNEY, YOU'RE MAKING A BIG THING OUT OF NOTHING.

WHY DON'T WE PUT A "DO NOT DISTURB" SIGN ON THE CELL?

Otis: SHUT UP OUT THERE. WILL YOU HOLD IT DOWN?

I'M TALKING TO THE SHERIFF!

NEXT THING YOU KNOW,

HE'LL BE WANTING MAID SERVICE.

HEY, BARNEY!

I'M TALKING TO THE SHERIFF!

LISTEN, WE OUGHT TO PUT OUR FOOT DOWN.

HEY! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?

THAT'S WHAT THEY DO IN THE BIG HOUSE TO THE SCREWS!

I'M NO SCREW! YOU STOP IT!

YOU GONNA MAKE ME? YEAH!

YEAH? YEAH!

HOLD IT, HOLD IT, HOLD IT!

NOW, STOP FIGHTING, BOTH OF YOU.

HE STARTED IT! I DID NOT!

LOOK, OTIS, YOUR SENTENCE WAS UP AT 8:00.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO ON HOME?

YOU GONNA MAKE ME? YEAH!

YEAH? YEAH!

YEAH? YEAH!

ALL RIGHT, I SAID STOP FIGHTING, BOTH OF YOU.

I GOT TO GO ON PATROL.

OTIS, WHY DON'T YOU JUST GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD

THAT YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A PRISONER?

YOU WANT A CUP OF COFFEE?

IF YOU DON'T MIND.

OKAY.

Floyd: HI, OTIS.

HI, FLOYD.

THAT YOU, FLOYD?

YEAH. GOOD MORNING.

IT'S ME, BARNEY.

YOU WANT SOME COFFEE?

NO, THANK YOU. I HAD MY CUP.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE SO EARLY, FLOYD?

I WAS ON MY WAY TO THE SHOP.

OH-HO, AND I SAW YOU COME IN LAST NIGHT,

AND, OH, BOY,

YOU MUST HAVE BEEN FEELING PLENTY GOOD, HUH?

YEAH, I GUESS.

YEAH, YOU WANT

TO COME IN FOR A SHAVE AND A WITCH

YEAH, I'LL BE IN.

MM-HMM. ALL RIGHT.

JUST WAIT A SECOND HERE.

OH, THERE'S ONE HAIRCUT AHEAD OF YOU, OTIS.

ONE OF THOSE BOYS FROM BACK IN THE HILLS.

OH?

YEAH, I NEVER KNOW HOW LONG THAT'S GONNA TAKE.

I JUST HAVE TO KEEP CUTTING TILL I SEE SCALP.

HOW'S 10:00?

FINE.

WHAT IN THE WORLD HAPPENED?

NOTHING. I JUST FELL DOWN.

WELL, YOU'RE RUBBING YOUR KNEE.

OH, YEAH, STINGS A LITTLE BIT.

THINK MAYBE I SPRAINED IT.

WELL, WHAT'D YOU DO, TRIP OR SOMETHING?

NO. JUST WENT DOWN.

YOU BETTER FILL OUT A FORM, OTIS.

A FORM?

AN "ACCIDENTAL INJURY

OCCURRING ON COUNTY PROPERTY" FORM.

GOT TO BE FILLED OUT IN TRIPLICATE.

WHAT FOR, BARN?

I'VE ALWAYS HAD TROUBLE WITH THIS KNEE.

BOY, I'D SURE HATE

TO HAVE TO FILL OUT A FORM EVERY TIME I FELL DOWN.

WOULDN'T LEAVE ME MUCH TIME FOR DRINKING.

HE'S GOT A POINT THERE.

'CAUSE I, I SAW HIM COME IN LAST NIGHT.

OHH! OH-OH-OH-OH!

I'M TELLING YOU, BARNEY,

I HAVE ALWAYS HAD TROUBLE WITH THIS KNEE.

IT'S AN OLD FOOTBALL INJURY.

GOT IT PLAYING FOOTBALL WITH MY WIFE.

PLAYING FOOTBALL WITH HIS WIFE.

ALL RIGHT, STOP KIDDING AROUND.

YOU'RE A WITNESS. I WAS?

YEAH. SIGN RIGHT THERE.

ALL RIGHT.

PLAYING FOOTBALL WITH HIS WIFE.

OH, YOU'RE A CAUTION, OTIS.

FILL THAT OUT.

OH. DO I HAVE TO FILL ALL THESE OUT?

WELL, ALL EXCEPT THE LAST FEW LINES.

THAT'S FOR THE NOTARY.

WHERE WE GOING TO GET A NOTARY?

OVER AT THE BANK. MARY PLEASANT'S A NOTARY.

NOW, GET ON OVER THERE.

PLAIN NUISANCE.

MUCH MORE OF THIS KIND OF TREATMENT, BARNEY,

AND I'M WARNING YOU, I'M GOING TO DO MY DRINKING

OUTSIDE OF YOUR JURISDICTION.

PLAYING FOOTBALL WITH HIS WIFE!

DID YOU HEAR THAT, BARNEY?

MR. SCHWAMP.

ANDY.

BARN.

ANGE, DID YOU SEE THAT COPY

OF THE ACCIDENT REPORT I LEFT ON YOUR DESK?

YEAH. I DON'T SEE ANY POINT IN FILING IT, THOUGH.

IT WASN'T ANYTHING SERIOUS.

OH, BOY!

FIRST, I GOT TO ARGUE WITH THE PRISONER.

NOW YOU'RE BUCKING ME.

IF YOU WANT TO FILE IT, YOU FILE IT.

THERE'S A RIGHT WAY AND A WRONG WAY OF DOING THESE THINGS.

IF YOU WANT TO FILE IT...

ONCE WE START LETTING...

OH, HERE HE COMES.

I HAD HIM GET IT NOTARIZED.

MARY PLEASANT'S ON VACATION.

SHE AND DIXIE BELL EDWARDS WENT ON A HUNTING TRIP.

WHERE'D THEY GO?

OH, THEY WENT DOWN TO GREAT DISMAL SWAMP

TO HUNT BLACK BEAR.

WELL, HOW LONG THEY GONNA BE GONE?

TWO WEEKS.

EH, I'LL SEE YOU, BARN.

WAIT A MINUTE, OTIS.

YOU BETTER GO INTO MT. PILOT

AND FIND A NOTARY PUBLIC.

OH, COME ON!

NOW, OTIS, ARE YOU DEFYING THE LAW?

AM I, ANDY?

WELL, OTIS, IF I WAS YOU, I'D JUST GO AHEAD AND DO

WHAT BARNEY SAYS.

YEAH. SEE?

YOU GO INTO MT. PILOT AND FIND A NOTARY PUBLIC

AND GET THAT BACK TO ME, AND THAT'S AN ORDER.

GOSH, ALMIGHTY, IT'S GETTING SO A FELLA CAN'T FALL DOWN

WITHOUT MAKING IT A STATEWIDE ISSUE!

ACCIDENT, HUH?

YEAH.

COUNTY PROPERTY.

VERY INTERESTING.

WELL, MR. CAMPBELL, HOW'S THE PAIN?

IT'S ALL RIGHT. IT DON'T HURT MUCH.

OH, THAT'S SO TYPICAL OF A KNEE INJURY.

NUMBNESS WHERE YOU'VE GOT MULTIPLE CONTUSIONS,

TORN CARTILAGE,

AND PROBABLY ALREADY FORMING CALCIUM DEPOSITS.

I GOT ALL THAT IN HERE?

UNQUESTIONABLY.

NOW, YOU, UH... PROBABLY TRIPPED OVER SOMETHING

AS YOU WERE LEAVING THE CELL.

HMM, MIGHT HAVE BEEN OR COULD HAVE MAYBE SLIPPED.

OBVIOUSLY GROSS NEGLIGENCE

ON THE PART OF THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE.

MR. CAMPBELL, I'D LIKE YOUR PERMISSION

TO START LEGAL ACTION.

AGAINST ANDY AND BARNEY?!

OH, NO! THOSE BOYS ARE MY FRIENDS.

OH, BUT YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

NO, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

IT WOULDN'T BE AGAINST THEM.

IT WOULD BE AGAINST THE COUNTY.

AND FOR A SMALL SUM.

AS A MATTER OF FACT,

YOU WOULD BE DOING YOUR FRIENDS A SERVICE.

YEAH

WELL, AS SOON AS I START LEGAL ACTION,

THE COUNTY WILL BE AWARE

THAT THIS JAIL IS NOT UP TO STANDARDS.

YOU KNOW WHAT THEY'LL DO?

THEY'LL FIX IT UP, AND YOUR FRIENDS

WILL HAVE A PLACE THEY CAN BE MIGHTY PROUD OF.

HEY, I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT.

NEW COTS, TOO, HUH?

PRECISELY.

I'D SURE LIKE TO DO SOMETHING NICE FOR THE BOYS, ALL RIGHT.

THEY'VE BEEN MIGHTY NICE TO ME.

THEN WE'LL PROCEED.

YEAH. IT'LL BE MY WAY OF SAYING THANKS.

HERE YOU GO. THERE IT IS.

HERE.

"OCCUPANT."

YEP.

"OCCUPANT."

YEP.

"OCCUPANT."

MM-HMM. PESKY THINGS.

WHAT'D YOU DO LAST NIGHT?

I HAD A DATE.

WITH HELEN?

NO. JUANITA.

JUANITA?

YEAH. JUANITA AT THE DINER.

MY JUANITA?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOUR JUANITA?

SHE'S EVERYBODY'S JUANITA.

WHAT YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I DIDN'T HAVE A DATE WITH JUANITA.

I WAS OVER AT HELEN'S.

I HAD YOU GOING PRETTY GOOD, HUH?

WHAT'D Y'ALL DO?

WELL, WE WATCHED A LITTLE "TV."

MM-HMM. LIGHTS OUT.

OH, HERE'S THIS THING FROM OTIS.

OH.

MUST HAVE DROPPED IT IN THE SLOT ON HIS WAY HOME.

OH. HE GOT IT NOTARIZED ALL RIGHT.

YEAH.

YOU KNOW, YOU JUST HAVE TO KEEP AFTER THAT OTIS.

THAT'S THE ONLY WAY YOU GET RESULTS.

WELL, ANYWAY, WE GOT A RECORD OF THE ACCIDENT NOW.

IT'LL PAY OFF IN THE LONG RUN.

I BELIEVE I'LL JUST MAKE OUT A SEPARATE FOLDER FOR THIS FORM.

YOU KNOW A NEIL BENTLEY?

NO, I DON'T BELIEVE SO.

SEE, THIS WAY, WE'LL ALWAYS BE ABLE

TO GET OUR HANDS ON THIS ANYTIME WE NEED IT.

LIKE RIGHT NOW.

OUR FRIEND OTIS CAMPBELL AND NEIL BENTLEY

ARE SUING US FOR $5,000.

$5,000?

THAT'S WHAT WE UNDERSTAND, FLOYD.

THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY.

YES, IT IS.

NOW, FLOYD, YOU WERE THE ONLY ONE IN THE ROOM

AT THE TIME OF THE ACCIDENT,

AND WE'D LIKE TO GET YOUR SIDE OF THE STORY

'CAUSE YOU'RE LIABLE TO BE THE STAR WITNESS.

STAR WITNESS?

OH. OH. OH, THIS IS A THRILL.

NOW, FLOYD, LISTEN --

WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER ABOUT OTIS' FALL?

I'LL HAVE TO DROP A LINE TO MY SISTER.

FLOYD, THE CHARGE IN THIS CASE IS GOING TO BE NEGLIGENCE.

OH, NEGLIGENCE, YEAH.

WELL, I'LL TESTIFY TO THAT.

YEAH, THERE WAS NEGLIGENCE ALL RIGHT.

YEAH, I'LL BACK YOU UP ON THAT, TOO.

THERE WAS LOTS OF...

FLOYD... NO, FLOYD, YOU DON'T QUITE UNDERSTAND.

THEY'RE GOING TO TRY TO PROVE THAT WE WERE NEGLIGENT.

OH, THEY ARE?

YEAH.

NOW, WHEN YOU CAME IN, BARNEY WAS IN THE BACK ROOM

AND OTIS WAS STILL IN HIS CELL, RIGHT?

THAT'S CORRECT, YES.

BARNEY ASKED ME IF I WANTED A CUP OF COFFEE

AND I SAID, "NO."

I'D HAD A CUP AT BREAKFAST, SEE, AND AS A GENERAL RULE,

I DON'T HAVE ANOTHER CUP UNTIL, OH, SAY, 10:00.

I... I LIKE THAT MIDMORNING CUP OF COFFEE, DON'T YOU?

YEAH.

NOW, DID YOU SEE OTIS COME OUT OF HIS CELL?

WELL, I WAS WRITING IN MY LITTLE NOTEBOOK

AT THE TIME, SEE, BUT, UH, I SAW THE WHOLE THING

OUT OF THE CORNER OF MY EYE... THE WHOLE THING.

WHAT HAPPENED?

HE FELL DOWN.

OKAY.

WE KNOW HE FELL DOWN, FLOYD.

THE QUESTION IS, HOW DID HE FALL DOWN?

DID HE TRIP OR DID HE SLIP

OR DID HE WALK INTO SOMETHING OR

WELL, UH, JUST LET ME THINK ABOUT THAT BE-BECAUSE, UH...

LET ME THINK, NOW.

YEAH. YEAH. WHAT?

HE FELL DOWN.

FLOYD...

HOW DO YOU DO...

SHERIFF TAYLOR?

I'M NEIL BENTLEY, MR. CAMPBELL'S LAWYER.

I WAS TOLD I COULD FIND YOU HERE.

OH.

UH, THIS IS FLOYD LAWSON.

HOW DO YOU DO, MR. LAWSON?

HOW DO YOU DO?

OH, OTIS' LAWYER.

WELL, THIS IS INDEED A PLEASURE.

UH, UH, SHERIFF TAYLOR, UH,

WHAT I HAVE TO DISCUSS IS, NATURALLY

OF A VERY PRIVATE NATURE.

OH, YOU CAN TALK IN FRONT OF FLOYD.

OH, YES, GO RIGHT AHEAD.

WE'RE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER.

I'M THE STAR WITNESS.

THAT'S RIGHT.

YOU SAID YOU WERE COMING DOWN HERE

FOR SOME PRELIMINARY DISCUSSIONS.

YES.

NOW, WHETHER YOU'RE AWARE OF IT OR NOT, SHERIFF,

MR. CAMPBELL SUFFERED A VERY SEVERE INJURY.

THAT'S WHAT WE UNDERSTAND.

THAT'S BEAUTIFUL FABRIC.

I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR A SUIT LIKE THAT.

FLOYD... OH.

GO AHEAD.

IT OCCURRED TO ME WE MIGHT BE ABLE

TO SAVE A LOT OF TIME AND LEGAL COMPLICATIONS

IF WE COULD WORK THIS THING OUT WITHOUT GOING TO COURT.

YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT A SETTLEMENT.

PRECISELY.

I'M SURE YOU COULD POINT OUT TO THE COUNTY

THAT IT WOULD BE... SMART, UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES.

I SEE.

IS THAT SHARKSKIN?

NO.

FLOYD...

WHAT CIRCUMSTANCES ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WELL, SHERIFF TAYLOR, THE FACT IS

THAT MR. CAMPBELL SUFFERED A VERY SERIOUS INJURY

DUE TO THE OBVIOUS NEGLIGENCE ON THE PART

OF THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE UPON HIS RELEASE

AND I ESTIMATE, CONSERVATIVELY,

THAT HE'LL BE INCAPACITATED FOR AT LEAST SIX MONTHS,

IN WHICH TIME HE'LL BE COMPLETELY UNABLE

TO FOLLOW HIS USUAL PURSUIT.

MR. BENTLEY, MR. CAMPBELL'S USUAL PURSUIT

IS TO TAKE A BOTTLE AT ONE END, TIP IT UP,

AND PUT HIS MOUTH ON THE OTHER END.

NOW, I DON'T SEE HOW A BAD KNEE

IS GOING TO INTERFERE WITH THAT.

HE TOLD US HE GOT THAT BAD KNEE

FROM PLAYING FOOTBALL WITH HIS WIFE.

PLAYING FOOTBALL WITH...

SAY, THAT'S NICE.

DID YOU GET THAT AT MT. PILOT?

FLOYD...

NOW, WHAT-WHAT IS THIS NEGLIGENCE?

WELL, VERY OBVIOUS--

A SLIPPERY FLOOR LEADING TO MULTIPLE CONTUSIONS...

UNQUESTIONABLE BONE DAMAGE.

MMM.

MMM-MMM.

NOW, LET ME... LET ME JUST, UH,

SEE IF I CAN GET ALL THIS STRAIGHT NOW.

YOU'RE GOING TO SUE US FOR $5,000... RIGHT?

RIGHT.

MMM. BUT YOU WOULD PREFER A SETTLEMENT, RIGHT?

PRECISELY.

YOU SEE, SHERIFF, MY CLIENT IS SUFFERING SO TERRIBLY

THAT I JUST HAD TO ADVISE HIM TO SUE FOR $5,000 --

A NOMINAL SUM CONSIDERING THE SEVERITY OF HIS INJURY.

AND YOU KNOW HOW MESSY IT IS GOING TO COURT.

SO, I URGE YOU TO URGE THEM TO SETTLE.

I UNDERSTAND.

WELL, I'VE GOT TO RUN.

UH, DO THINK ABOUT IT, WON'T YOU?

BYE-BYE.

BYE-BYE.

ISN'T THAT A NICE MAN?

SARAH, GET ME THE COUNTY LEGAL DEPARTMENT.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING, ANDY?

THIS PROVES JUST ONE THING.

WHAT'S THAT, FLOYD?

IF YOU WANT A GOOD SUIT, YOU GOT TO GO TO MT. PILOT.

AND THE COUNTY LEGAL DEPARTMENT SAYS WE COULD BE LIABLE, HUH?

YEAH. MR. ROBERTS, THE HEAD ATTORNEY UP THERE,

IS GOING TO COME DOWN HERE ONE DAY NEXT WEEK...

SEE IF HE CAN GET AT THE TRUTH.

I CAN'T UNDERSTAND OTIS DOING THIS.

SHARPER THAN A SERPENT'S TOOTH.

YEAH.

SHARPER THAN A SERPENT'S TOOTH.

YEAH.

YEAH.

HEY...

LOOK AT THAT.

HUH?

YEAH.

LET'S GO OVER THERE.

OTIS?

OH, HI, ANDY. HI, BARN.

I DIDN'T SEE Y'ALL COMING.

I SEE YOU'RE STILL LIMPING.

I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE DOING THIS, OTIS

BUT I WANT YOU TO KNOW

NEXT WEEK, THERE'LL BE A LAWYER HERE

FROM THE COUNTY LEGAL DEPARTMENT.

WELL, THAT'S FAST ACTION.

I'LL LET YOU KNOW WHEN

AND YOU BETTER HAVE SOME GOOD ANSWERS.

HEY, LOOK, ANDY, THIS AIN'T AGAINST YOU.

IT'S AGAINST THE COUNTY.

YOU'RE NOTHIN' BUT A DOUBLE-CROSSER, OTIS.

MR. CAMPBELL, WILL...

YOU KNOW WHAT THE COUNTY'S GONNA DO TO THE JAIL

AFTER THIS THING IS ALL OVER?

WILL YOU PLEASE STOP TALKING?

LET'S GO, BARN.

YOU FELLAS SOUND MAD.

I'M ONLY DOING IT JUST BECAUSE OF YOU.

YEAH, THANKS A LOT!

SEE YA SATURDAY NIGHT, FELLAS.

NOT IF WE CAN HELP IT!

HEY, ANDY...

YOU KNOW SOMETHING?

OTIS IS THE ONLY ONE THAT REALLY KNOWS WHAT HAPPENED,

AND HE'S COMING BY SATURDAY NIGHT.

WELL, WHAT OF IT?

WELL, I THINK I GOT AN ANGLE...

A WAY OF GETTIN' HIM TO TALK.

HOW?

YOU JUST LEAVE THAT TO ME.

YEAH, THIS'LL WORK, ALL RIGHT.

THEY DO IT IN THE MOVIES ALL THE TIME.

HI, BARNEY.

HI, OTIS.

I JUST BEEN, UH,

GETTIN' EVERYTHING READY FOR YOU.

OH.

WELL, I SUPPOSE YOU'LL WANT

TO HOLD ONTO THIS, ALL RIGHT.

OH, NO, NO, YOU-YOU KEEP THAT.

YOU JUST HOLD ONTO THAT TONIGHT

IN CASE THAT KNEE STARTS BOTHERING YOU, YOU KNOW.

OH, BLESS YOUR HEART, BARNEY.

MIGHTY NICE OF YOU.

OH, THEN... YOU'RE REALLY NOT MAD AT ME, EH?

OH, NO, THESE THINGS HAPPEN.

WHY DON'T YOU, UH...

WHY DON'T YOU GO AHEAD AND HAVE A DRINK?

WELL, HERE, BARNEY.

OH, NO, NO, THANKS, BUT Y GO AHEAD.

I'LL GET YOU A CUP.

THERE WE GO.

THERE YOU ARE.

OH, I NEVER DRINK ALONE

WHEN THERE'S ANOTHER MAN IN THE HOUSE.

IT'S IMPOLITE.

GO AHEAD.

WELL...

HAVE A SIP.

JUST A SIP.

MMM.

BOTTOMS UP.

WANT TO SIT DOWN?

OTIS, WE'RE PRETTY GOOD FRIENDS, AREN'T WE?

OH, SURE.

THIS IS ONE FRIENDSHIP I HAVE ALWAYS CHERISHED.

HOW'S THAT?

I SAID THIS IS ONE FRIENDSHIP I HAVE ALWAYS CHERISHED.

WELL, THEN, OTIS,

LET ME WARN YOU

YOU'RE HEADIN' FOR A LOTTA TROUBLE

WITH THIS LAWSUIT.

UH, WHAT DO YOU MEAN, BARN?

LOOK, OTIS, I WANT YOU TO TELL ME THE TRUTH--

THE PLAIN, UNVARNISHED TRUTH ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND.

I'M DOING YOU A FAVOR SUING YOU.

A FAVOR?!

COME ON, OTIS, COME CLEAN!

NOW, HOW DID YOU FALL?

I DON'T KNOW.

I... MAYBE I SLIPPED OR TRIPPED OR SOMETHING.

ALL I KNOW IS I HURT MY KNEE.

YOU DON'T EXPECT ME OR SHERIFF "TRAYLOR"

TO BELIEVE THAT, DO YOU?

TAYLOR.

THAT'S WHAT I SAID, "SHERIFF TRAYLOR."

Otis: BELIEVE ME, BARNEY, I WOULDN'T LIE TO YOU.

YOU'RE TOO OLD A FRIEND, A CHERISHED FRIEND.

YOU KNOW YOU'RE MY CHERISHED FRIEND, DON'T YOU?

Barney: RIGHT. AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING, OTIS?

YOU'RE MY CHERISHED FRIEND, TOO.

SOAK YOUR KNEE IN THIS PAN OF WARM WATER.

IT'LL EASE THE PAIN.

WE USED TO DO THIS IN THE BOY SCOUTS.

YOU'RE A REAL PAL, BARNEY.

THERE'S NO SENSE LISTENING TO THAT, ANDY.

IT'S... JUST NOTHING.

I WAS JUST STARTIN' TO GET INTERESTED.

DO YOU MIND?

WELL, DON'T YOU BELIEVE ME?

IT'S JUST SOMETHIN' I, YOU KNOW, TRIED,

AND IT, UH... IT DIDN'T WORK.

MM-HMM.

I WANT TO HEAR IT.

OTIS, I KNOW THE PAIN YOU MUST BE HAVING.

THERE'S NOTHING HURTS WORSE THAN A TORN CALCIUM.

A TORN CALCIUM?

WELL, I DON'T PRETEND TO BE A DOCTOR, ANDY.

NOW, THIS IS A WASTE OF TIME LISTENING TO THIS.

I CAN TELL YOU EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED.

IT WAS JUST A TRICK.

IT WAS ALL PART OF MY... PLAN.

UH-HUH. I WANT TO HEAR THE PLAN.

HERE, LET'S GET YOUR KNEE

RIGHT DOWN IN THAT WATER THERE.

STEADY, BARN.

LOOK, I'LL HOLD YOUR KNEE AND YOU HOLD ME.

HOW'S THAT?

HE MADE ME TAKE A SIP, ANDY.

I SEE.

I GUESS THIS IS WHY MY LAWYER'S SUING FOR $5,000.

AND YOU DESERVE EVERY PENNY OF IT...

VERY APPARENTLY.

I MEAN, A CROOKED LAWYER MIGHT HAVE TRIED FOR TEN.

ANYTHING I CAN DO TO HELP, OTIS,

YOU JUST COUNT ON YOUR OLD FRIEND, BARNEY...BARNEY.

I HOPE IT WORKED BETTER IN THE MOVIES.

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND, ANDY.

HE MAD ME TAKE A DRINK WITH HIM.

I WAS JUST TRYING TO LOOSEN HIS TONGUE.

I SEE.

IT'S JUST THAT I WASN'T USED TO THAT STUFF

AND I... I GUESS I GOT A-AN IMMEDIATE LIVER REACTION.

WHAT ELSE DID YOU TALK ABOUT?

NOTHING. NOTHING.

I GOT AHOLD OF MYSELF

SNAPPED OUT OF IT... WENT RIGHT ON HOME.

THAT'S THE ABSOLUTE TRUTH.

HMM.

Both: * YOU'RE THE FLOWER OF MY HEART *

* SWEET ADELINE... *

* SWEET ADELINE *

GOOD.

CAMPBELL...

LETDO THE TALKING.

OH, SURE, YOU HANDLE EVERYTHING.

GOOD AFTERNOON, EVERYBODY.

HI, ANDY. HI, BARNEY.

DID YOU GET HOME ALL RIGHT SATURDAY NIGHT?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

WE WERE SITTING IN THAT CELL...

SIT DOWN, OTIS.

THE CASE PAPERS, COUNSELOR.

GEE, ANDY, YOU STILL MAD AT ME?

MAY WE BEGIN, PLEASE?

MR. CAMPBELL, I SHOULD LIKE TO HEAR YOUR ACCOUNT

OF THE ALLEGED ACCIDENT.

SIR, IF YOU DON'T MIND

I... I'D LIKE TO GUIDE MY CLIENT THROUGH THIS INTERROGATION.

THIS IS NOT AN INTERROGATION, AND I DO MIND.

GO AHEAD, MR. CAMPBELL.

I WANT TO FIND OUT WHAT CAUSED YOU TO FALL.

THAT'S THE BIG ISSUE HERE.

OH, ISN'T IT RATHER OBVIOUS?

LOOK AT THAT SLIPPERY FLOOR IN THAT CELL--

A CLEAR CASE OF NEGLIGENCE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, SLIPPERY FLOOR?

I'VE BEEN AROUND HERE FIVE...

BARN, BARN, DON'T, DON'T, DON'T...

I'LL SHOW YOU EXACTLY HOW IT HAPPENED.

IF YOU WOULD, PLEASE.

SEE, I WAS ALL READY TO LEAVE, AS I USUALLY DO.

I REACHED UP AND GOT THE KEY,

I PUT IT IN THE DOOR, UNLOCKED IT, OPENED THE DOOR,

AND I CAME OUT JUST AS CALM AS COULD BE WHEN...

HEY, THAT'S HOW IT HAPPENED.

NOW I REMEMBER.

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU SAY.

YEAH, I TRIPPED OVER MY COAT--

I CAN SEE IT JUST AS CLEAR NOW--

AND MY FEET GOT ALL TANGLED UP IN IT.

SIR, MAY I HAVE A PRIVATE TALK WITH MY CLIENT?

WELL, WHAT'S THE MATTER?

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT'S THE MATTER, OTIS.

I THINK YOU JUST BLEW YOUR LAWYER'S CASE.

MAY I ASK FOR A POSTPONEMENT OF THIS HEARING

ON THE GROUNDS THAT MY-MY CLIENT DOESN'T KNOW

WHAT HE'S SAYING?

WELL, I DO SO.

I'M TELLING YOU

JUST EXACTLY WHAT HAPPENED, AND THAT'S THE TRUTH.

WELL...

MR. BENTLEY...

GOODBYE.

OH, UH...

MY CARD, IN CASE YOU EVER NEED MY SERVICES.

GOOD-BYE.

BYE-BYE.

MR. CAMPBELL, I GATHER YOU'RE DROPPING YOUR SUIT.

WELL, I GUESS I AM.

I JUST THEN REMEMBERED THAT I TRIPPED OVER MY COAT.

I WAS JUST TRYING TO DO THESE FELLAS A FAVOR.

SHERIFF, I GUESS THAT ABOUT WRAPS IT UP.

OTIS, WHAT IS THIS FAVOR YOU KEEP TALKING ABOUT?

WELL, MR. BENTLEY SAID IF I SUED YOU,

THE COUNTY WOULD COME ALONG AND FIX THIS PLACE UP

SO YOU'D HAVE SOMETHING TO BE PROUD OF.

OH, BROTHER, WHAT A DUMB THING.

DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA THE TROUBLE YOU CAUSED US?

YOU'RE THE ONE THAT STARTED THIS WITH YOUR DUMB FORM.

YOU WANT TO PIPE DOWN, OTIS?

YOU GONNA MAKE ME? YEAH.

HOLD IT, HOLD IT!

HE STARTED THE WHOLE...

I DID NOT. HE STARTED IT.

YOU KNOW, I WAS ON TO THAT LAWYER RIGHT FROM THE START.

WERE YOU, BARN?

OH, HE WAS NOTHING BUT A CROOK.

IS THAT SO?

YOU KNOW, HE COULD WIND UP GETTING HIMSELF DISBARRED.

DISBARRED? WOULD THEY DO THAT TO HIM?

I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED.

THEY WOULDN'T ALLOW HIM TO PRACTICE AGAIN?

THAT'S RIGHT.

YOU MEAN TAKE AWAY HIS MEANS OF LIVELIHOOD?

SURE.

HUH.

I WONDER IF HE'D BE INTERESTED IN SELLING THAT SUIT.