Original subtitles

STARRING ANDY GRIFFITH...

WITH RONNY HOWARD...

ALSO STARRING DON KNOTTS.

WELL, THAT BEATS ME.

HOW'D YOU GET THAT EGG IN THAT BOTTLE?

THE MOUTH OF THE BOTTLE

IS A GOOD QUARTER INCH SMALLER THAN THE EGG.

HOW'D YOU GET IT IN THERE?

SCIENTIFICALLY, PAW.

WELL, I KNOW IT'S SCIENTIFICALLY,

BUT HOW'D YOU GET IT IN THERE?

WELL, IT'S THE ATMOSPHERE, PAW.

FIRST, I HEATED UP THE BOTTLE.

THEN, I MADE THE EGG ALL SLIPPY WITH BUTTER.

I PUT THE EGG ON TOP, AND WHEN THE BOTTLE COOLED,

THE ATMOSPHERE PUSHED THE EGG DOWN.

WELL, I'LL BE DOGGED. THAT'S AMAZING.

MAKE A WISH, PAW.

OPE, I --

COME ON, PAW. MAKE A WISH.

OH, ALL RIGHT.

OKAY.

WHAT IS THAT, A RUBBER WISHBONE?

NOT REALLY. I MADE IT RUBBER BY SOAKING IT IN VINEGAR.

WHERE ARE YOU GETTING ALL THESE TRICKS?

THEY'RE NOT REALLY TRICKS, PAW.

THEY'RE FACTS OF SCIENCE.

SEE?

"20 SCIENTIFIC TRICKS A BOY CAN DO AT HOME

"BY SEYMOUR SCHRECK,

AUTHOR OF FILLING THE GARAGE ON A RAINY DAY."

YOU CAN KEEP IT FOR A WHILE AND READ UP ON IT.

I MIGHT DO THAT SOMETIME.

HERE. BETTER GET THE LUNCH DISHES HOME TO AUNT BEE.

OKAY.

AND THANKS FOR THE SCIENTIFIC DEMONSTRATION.

SAVE ME A TRIP TO THE WORLD'S FAIR.

THAT'S OKAY, PAW. BYE.

BYE.

SO LONG, PAW.

HOW YOU DOIN', BARNEY?

ANDY.

ASLEEP? NO.

NO, I WAS JUST WATCHING TRAFFIC.

HOW DO YOU WATCH TRAFFIC WITH YOUR EYES CLOSED?

THEY WEREN'T CLOSED.

JUST HAD 'EM SQUINCHED UP

SO THEY COULDN'T SEE ME LOOKING.

OH.

WELL, I'LL BE DOGGED. IT'S THE DARLINGS.

YEAH, CHARLENE'S GOT A BABY.

LOOKS LIKE.

HOWDY, SHERIFF.

HEY THERE, CHARLENE. HELLO, BOYS.

MR. DARLING, GLAD TO SEE YOU.

WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THIS?

WELL, WE GOT US AN ADDITION

TO THE THIRD GENERATION.

WELL, CONGRATULATIONS.

AIN'T SHE JUST PRETTY AS A PEACH?

OH, SHE IS.

HER NAME'S ANDELINA.

WE NAMED HER AFTER YOU, SHERIFF.

'CAUSE YOU DONE SO MUCH TO HELP US.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT!

HELLO, THERE.

OH, YOU WANT TO TAKE MY FINGER?

GO AHEAD.

SHE'S A DARLING, ALL RIGHT.

JUST STRONG AS A BULL.

CAN SHE HOLD MY FINGER FOR A SECOND?

SURE, DEPUTY.

GO ON.

GRAB ON.

GO ON.

SHE WON'T TAKE MY FINGER.

WELL, I GUESS YOU JUST GOT ONE OF THOSE FINGERS

BABIES DON'T TAKE TO.

YOU BOYS MUST BE PRETTY PROUD TO BE UNCLES.

OH, THEY'RE TOO CHOKED UP TO SAY ANYTHING.

OH. WELL, COME ON IN OUT OF THE SUN.

COME ON, CHARLENE, MR. DARLING.

GET IN HERE.

COME ON, BOYS.

THAT'S A TIME.

BRING THAT THING ON IN HERE.

JABBER RIGHT AWAY, DON'T THEY?

YEAH.

WELL, CHARLENE, WHERE'S YOUR HUSBAND?

DUD'S IN THE MOUNTAINS.

POSSUM SEASON.

WITH ANOTHER MOUTH TO FEED,

HE'S GOT TO KEEP HIS NOSE TO POSSUM HOLE.

IS DUD IN POSSUM NOW?

MM-HMM. HE HAD TO MAKE A CHANGE.

HE WAS IN BEAVER,

BUT WADIN' IN AND OUT OF THEM CRICKS AND SWAMPS

JUST KEPT HIS HEAD STUFFED DAY AND NIGHT.

OH.

COOCHIE COOCHIE COO. CUTE.

WELL, MR. DARLING,

IT MUST BE A GREAT FEELING TO BE A GRANDFATHER.

'TIS. 'TIS.

GIVES YOU A FEELING OF IMMORTAL-LIKE

TO KNOW THAT DARLING BLOOD

WILL BE FLOWING THROUGH THEM MOUNTAINS

FOR YEARS TO COME.

THAT'S RIGHT.

MIGHTY NICE OF YOU

TO BRING LITTLE ANDELINA INTO TOWN TO SHOW US.

OH, THIS AIN'T "TO SHOW" TRIP.

IT'S GOT A PURPOSE.

OH?

IT'S A BETROTHING.

A BETROTHING?

WE'RE HERE TO FIND A YOUNG BOY

TO PLEDGE HIS HAND AND HEART TO ANDELINA.

YOU'RE KIDDING.

THAT'S WHAT EUROPEAN ROYALTY USED TO DO.

THE MINUTE THE BABY WAS BORN,

THEY'D PICK A MATE FOR IT.

THEY GOT IT FROM US.

WELL, THAT KILLS ME.

THREE-MONTH-OLD BABY GETTING ENGAGED.

HERE I AM 35 AND ONLY KEEPING STEADY COMPANY.

HAVE YOU GOT ANY CANDIDATES?

OH, NOT AS YET

BUT WE'LL FIND A YOUNG'UN SOMEWHERES.

THEY, UH, STILL HAVING BABIES, AIN'T THEY?

WELL, YEAH.

THEY SOUND SERIOUS.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

THEY WON'T FIND ANYBODY

AND THEY'LL GO ON BACK HOME.

YOU KNOW, SHERIFF, UH, WE WAS KIND OF HOPING

THAT, UH, WELL, THAT YOU'D HELP SPREAD THE WORD.

YOU KNOW, THE, UH, YOUNG FELLA

THAT GETS ANDELINA HERE

COMES INTO A PRETTY GOOD DOWRY.

AN 8x10 COTTAGE ON THE BACK 20.

ALL IT NEEDS IS A ROOF, SOME FRESH MUD ON THE FLOOR.

IT'D BE A REAL PARADISE.

AND A COW COMES WITH IT.

A COW COMES RIGHT WITH IT, HUH?

AND TWO ACRES OF SIDE HILL

WITH GOOD, STRONG BOULDERS.

WELL, THAT SOUNDS

LIKE A GOOD DEAL, MR. DARLING

WOULDN'T YOU SAY, BARN?

YEAH.

I MEAN, A COW AND EVERYTHING

AND THEM BOULDERS.

BUT NOW, DON'T... DON'T BE DISAPPOINTED

IF YOU GET TURNED DOWN A FEW TIMES.

IF WORSE COMES TO WORSE,

WE'LL WRITE TO THAT EUROPE

AND BRING IN AN OUT-OF-TOWNER.

ANYWAYS, WE, UH...

WE GOT THE LITTLE GIRL.

THAT'S HALF THE BATTLE.

TOOK MY FINGER.

WELL...

HOWDY, SHERIFF.

THIS IS A SURPRISE.

AIN'T IT.

WELL, UH, COME ON IN, WON'T YOU?

BOYS.

HI, SHERIFF.

CHARLENE...BOYS.

WELL, UH,

WHAT BRINGS YOU OUT THIS WAY

SO LATE AFTER SUPPER?

WE FINISHED LOOKIN' FOR THE DAY,

SO WE THOUGHT WE'D COME BY

AND PICK WITH YOU A LITTLE BIT.

OH, WELL, I CAN'T THINK OF ANYTHING

I'D RATHER DO.

UH, SET DOWN.

BOYS.

CHARLENE.

WELL, DID YOU HAVE ANY LUCK

FINDING ANYBODY FOR ANDELINA TODAY?

WELL, WE COME ACROSS ONE YOUNG'UN

BUT HE HAD A BIG WART ON THE END OF HIS NOSE.

OH. WELL, THAT WOULDN'T DO.

OH, UH, YOU ALL REMEMBER MY AUNT BEE.

OF COURSE.

THE BABY. OH.

OH, ISN'T SHE BEAUTIFUL?!

OH, SHE'S A LITTLE ANGEL.

A LITTLE ANGEL.

OH, MAY I TAKE HER OVER TO MRS. JONES?

SHE LOVES BABIES. MAY I?

OH, SURE.

I'LL TAKE VERY, VERY GOOD CARE.

HERE WE GO TO MRS. JONES.

SHE'S JUST ADORABLE.

WELL, WHAT WOULD YOU ALL LIKE TO PLAY?

WE HEARD A NEW ONE.

IT'S CALLED "WET SHOES IN THE SUNSET."

THAT'S TOO SLOW, PA.

WELL, HOW ABOUT "TOE SACK FULL OF LOVE"?

YOU KNOW, I HAVEN'T HEARD CHARLENE SING

IN A LONG TIME.

WELL, SING THAT LOVE SONG

THAT I LIKE SO WELL.

THAT MAKES YOU CRY, PAW.

WELL, I'LL FIGHT IT.

* THERE IS A TIME

* FOR LOVE AND LAUGHTER

* THE DAYS WILL PASS

* LIKE SUMMER STORMS

* THE WINTER WIND

* WILL FOLLOW AFTER

* BUT THERE IS LOVE

* AND LOVE IS WARM

* THERE IS A TIME

* FOR US TO WANDER

* WHEN TIME IS YOUNG

* AND SO ARE WE

* THE WOODS ARE GREENER

* OVER YONDER

* THE PATH IS NEW

* THE WORLD IS FREE

* THERE IS A TIME

* WHEN LEAVES ARE FALLING

* THE WOODS ARE GRAY

* THE PATHS ARE OLD

* THE SNOW WILL COME

* WHEN GEESE ARE CALLING

* WE NEED A FIRE

* AGAINST THE COLD

* THERE IS A TIME

* FOR US TO WANDER

* WHEN TIME IS YOUNG

* AND SO ARE WE

* THE WOODS ARE GREENER

* OVER YONDER

* THE PATH IS NEW

* THE WORLD IS FREE

* THERE IS A TIME

* FOR US TO WANDER

* WHEN TIME IS YOUNG

* AND SO ARE WE

* THE WOODS ARE GREENER

* OVER YONDER

* THE PATH IS NEW

* THE WORLD IS FREE

* THE PATH IS NEW

* THE WORLD IS FREE

WELL, I BELIEVE THAT'S THE PRETTIEST THING

I EVER HEARD.

I'M ALL WASHED, PAW.

OH, OP.

YOU REMEMBER MR. DARLING, CHARLENE AND THE BOYS.

HI.

HEY, I PLUMB FORGOT YOU HAD A YOUNG'UN, SHERIFF.

HE'S TALLER THAN A STORK ON A STILT.

HE'S GOT HIS PAW'S PRETTINESS, TOO.

DID YOU WASH YOUR ARMS? YEAH, PAW.

THAT'S A TIME.

SAY GOOD NIGHT TO EVERYBODY.

NIGHT, EVERYBODY.

GOOD NIGHT.

NICELY MANNERED.

PAW? HMM?

IS IT OKAY

IF I DON'T KISS YOU IN FRONT OF COMPANY?

OKAY.

GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT, PAW.

PRETTY NICE YOUNGSTER YOU GOT THERE.

THANK YOU.

LOTS OF BEHAVIOR, TOO.

WHAT DO YOU THINK, CHARLENE?

OH, HE'S A FINE BOY.

HE'S PERFECTLY MANNERIZED.

HOW OLD IS HE, SHERIFF?

10.

WELL, THAT AIN'T SO BAD, CHARLENE.

YOUR MA WAS 17 WHEN I WAS 30.

OF COURSE I WAS HER SECOND HUSBAND, YOU KNOW.

HER FIRST HUSBAND GOT RUN OVER BY A TEAM OF HOGS.

NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, MR. DARLING. HOLD ON.

ARE YOU TRYING TO SAY...?

THAT'S RIGHT.

YOUR OPIE AND OUR ANDELINA'S BEING PLEDGED.

THE DARLINGS AND THE TAYLOR.

ONCE TWAIN SHALL BE AS ONE.

NO, MR. DARLING!

ABSOLUTELY NOT!

I KNEW YOU'D GET EXCITED AT THE IDEA.

WHY, YOUR FACE IS SO FULL OF PRIDE RIGHT NOW

IT'S AS RED AS A TOMATO.

IT'S CRAZY. IT'S JUST CRAZY.

NOW, WE GOT SOME PAPERS HERE.

THEY'S MADE UP BY OUR PREACHER

SO THEY'RE ALL LEGAL.

YOU CAN SEE IT ACCOUNTS FOR THE COW,

THE TWO ACRES OF SIDE HILL WITH GOOD, STRONG BOULDERS,

THE HOUSE WITHOUT THE ROOF...

MR. DARLING...

IF YOU WANT A ROOF,

YOU GOT TO PUT THAT ON YOURSELF.

THIS CAN'T ALL BE ONE WAY.

IF YOU'LL JUST SIGN IT RIGHT HERE...

OPIE'S ONLY 10 YEARS OLD!

WE'RE WILLING TO OVERLOOK THAT.

THERE'S STILL TIME TO GET HIM PLEDGED.

OPIE AND ANDELINA ARE GOING TO BE SUCH A PERFECT COUPLE.

THEY'LL JUST BE SO SWEET TOGETHER.

NO, CHARLENE.

SHERIFF...

TAKE THE ADVICE OF A WORLDLY PERSON.

ONCE IN A MAN'S LIFE

HE FALLS INTO A POT OF RICHES.

NOW, THAT'S HAPPENING TO YOU RIGHT NOW.

THERE'S GRACIOUS IN GIVING

AND THERE'S GRACIOUS IN TAKING.

NOW, YOU'VE BEEN GIVING ALL YOUR LIFE.

IT'S TIME TO DO SOME TAKING.

BE GRACIOUS.

MR. DARLING...

NO MORE COURTING FOR TONIGHT.

I CAN SEE YER'S ALL CHOKED UP.

NOW, WE'LL, WE'LL LEAVE THE SIGNING TILL TOMORROW.

ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY ON THE TRUCK!

CHARLENE, GO SEE IF MISS BEE'S BACK WITH THE BRIDE.

SON, I JUST CAN'T TELL YOU

HOW GLAD I AM THAT WE'S GONNA BE KIN.

SAY GOOD NIGHT TO YOUR DADDY-IN-LAW, ANDELINA.

WELL, THEY CAN'T BE SERIOUS, ANDY.

I MEAN, AS LONG AS YOU'VE MADE YOUR POINT

AND TAKEN YOUR STAND,

THEY GOT TO FORGET ABOUT IT AND HEAD BACK TO THE HILLS.

THE OLD MAN'S PRETTY STUBBORN.

IT'S HARD TO SAY NO TO A MAN

THAT WON'T TAKE NO AS PART OF THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE.

GOT TO BE FIRM.

YEAH.

YOU KNOW, A FEW YEARS BACK

A SIMILAR THING HAPPENED TO ME.

YEAH?

MAYBE I NEVER TOLD YOU ABOUT IT.

THE GIRL'S NAME WAS HALCYON LORETTA WINSLOW.

PRETTY NAME.

UGLIEST GIRL YOU EVER SAW IN YOUR LIFE.

WHAT HAPPENED WAS HER FATHER GOT IT IN HIS HEAD

THAT I SHOULD MARRY HALCYON.

YOU KNOW, HE SAW MY PICTURE IN THE PAPER.

YOU REMEMBER WHEN I WON THAT CHURCH RAFFLE?

FOUR FREE HAIRCUTS?

OH, YEAH.

PICTURE WAS ALL OVER THE FRONT PAGE.

YOU KNOW HOW THAT AFFECTS PEOPLE.

THEY GO CRAZY.

AND RIGHT AWAY HE SAW "CIVIL SERVANT."

SECURITY, RIGHT?

YEAH.

AND HE SAW "UNMARRIED."

AND AT THE TIME, I WAS ONLY THREE-O.

THIRTY?

RIGHT.

HE SAW IN ME AN UNTAPPED SOURCE OF LIFETIME HAPPINESS

FOR HIS UGLY DAUGHTER.

SO, NEEDLESS TO SAY

THEY GOT MY PHONE NUMBER FROM THE BARBER

AND, WELL, THE REST IS HISTORY.

I DON'T BELIEVE I EVER HEARD OF IT.

YOU DIDN'T?

MNH-MNH.

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU, IT'S LIKE A TALE OUT OF TWO CITIES.

FIRST, I ONLY SAW THE OLD MAN FOR ABOUT A WEEK.

HE MADE ME A TERRIFIC OFFER:

THIRD INTEREST IN A PRUNE-PITTING OPERATION.

A LOT OF MONEY IN THAT.

WELL, YOU GOT TO LIKE IT.

FULL USE OF THE COMPANY CAR,

AN INTEREST IN THE FAMILY HOME

AND A BEAUTIFUL HILLSIDE PLOT IN THE MT. PILOT CEMETERY.

THAT BURIAL PART ALONE'S WORTH A FORTUNE.

WELL, YOU KNOW ME.

WHEN OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS,

OLD BARN'S GOT TO AT LEAST TAKE A PEEK

AND SEE IF THERE'S ANYBODY ON THE STOOP.

YEAH.

WELL, ANYWAY, THE OLD MAN MADE A DATE

FOR ALL OF US TO MEET DOWN AT KLEIN'S COFFEEHOUSE

FOR AN AMERICAN CHEESE AND GARNI.

YEAH. FINALLY MET HER, HUH?

OH, BOY.

NOT TOO PRETTY?

BEASTO MARISTO.

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU

THAT CHEESE SANDWICH STUCK RIGHT THERE

FOR ABOUT THREE DAYS.

HOW'D YOU FINALLY GET OFF THE HOOK?

WELL, FIRST OF ALL, I PAID FOR MY OWN CHEESE SANDWICH.

WIPE OUT ANY OBLIGATION.

RIGHT. AND THEN I TOOK THE OLD MAN TO ONE SIDE

AND I TOLD HIM STRAIGHT OUT, "N-O," A FLAT NO DICE.

BUT HE KEPT AFTER ME--

LETTERS, PHONE CALLS,

DRIVING THAT COMPANY CAR BY, ALL SHINY AND NEW--

AND I HELD MY GROUND.

PRETTY SOON, HE GOT THE IDEA, AND THAT WAS THE END OF IT.

WHATEVER HAPPENED TO HALCYON?

WELL, YOU KNOW, SHE WENT EAST TO ONE OF THEM SCHOOLS

WHERE THEY TRIM YOU DOWN, CLEAR YOUR SKIN,

MAKE YOU WALK AROUND WITHA BOOK ON YOUR HEAD.

YEAH? YEAH.

DON'T TELL ME SHE TURNED OUT TO BE BEAUTIFUL.

NO, SHE'S STILL UGLY, SINGLE, AND PITTING PRUNES.

WELL...

IT'S TAKEN A WHILE,

BUT I GATHER YOU'RE SAYING IF I KEEP A FIRM NO,

THE DARLINGS WILL GO HOME AND FORGET IT.

TOUCHE. MMM.

HI, PAW.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

WHAT YOU WEARING YOUR SUNDAY SUIT FOR?

THIS AIN'T MY SUNDAY SUIT, PAW.

THAT'S BRAND-NEW.

LOOK AT THAT-- THAT'S TROPICAL WORSTED.

WHERE'D YOU GET THAT?

I WAS WALKING DOWN THE STREET.

MR. DARLING AND MISS CHARLENE TOOK ME

INTO WEAVER'S DEPARTMENT STORE.

NEXT THING I KNEW, I WAS IN THIS SUIT.

THEY TOLD ME IT WAS MINE TO KEEP.

NOW, THAT DOES IT.

I'M GOING TO PUT A STOP TO THIS.

IT'D BE A SHAME TO GIVE THIS BACK.

BARN!

COME ON.

CHARLENE, WHERE'S AUNT BEE?!

SHE'S OUT IN THE KITCHEN MAKING SANDWICHES.

HERE, WANT ONE?

CHARLENE, WHAT'S GOING ON?!

IT'S AN ENGAGEMENT PARTY.

HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO TELL YOU?

THERE'S NO ENGAGEMENT!

THERE'S GOT TO BE AN ENGAGEMENT

IF THERE'S GOING TO BE A MARRIAGE.

NOW, LOOK, CHARLENE...

LOOK, MR. DARLING...

WHAT IS THIS THING ANYWAY?

IT'S A EGG IN A BOTTLE.

NOW, LOOK...

I AIN'T NEVER SEEN 'EM FIXED LIKE THAT AFORE.

I THINK I'LL PASS IT UP FOR THE TIME BEING.

WILL YOU SIT DOWN?!

NOW, LOOK, MR. DARLING...

I'M TRYING TO TALK TO YOU

ABOUT THIS MARRIAGE!

ROUGH, AIN'T IT?

IT AFFECTS ME THE SAME WAY.

PAW?

GO SIT DOWN, OPIE!

NOW, LOOK, MR. DARLING, THIS AIN'T GONNA WORK.

WE'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT!

OF COURSE WE'RE GONNA DO SOMETHIN' ABOUT IT.

WE'RE GONNA DRINK A LITTLE

AND WE'RE GONNA PLAY A LITTLE

AND THEN WE'RE GONNA EAT ALL THAT FOOD WE BRUNG

AND THEN WE'RE GONNA

HAVE THE A-SIGNIN' OF THE AGREEMENT.

THERE YOU GO.

PAW, I DON'T WANT TO MARRY HER.

MR. DARLING...

DON'T THEY MAKE A NICE

THEY'S MATCHED TOGETHER

LIKE A RACY TEAM OF BUGGY MULES.

HEY, OPE, LISTEN...

YOU'RE ON DUTY!

ONE OF THE BOYS JUST SAID THIS WAS MULBERRY SQUEEZINS.

THAT'S ALL IT IS.

MULBERRY SQUEEZINS.

Darling: WHERE'S THE GROOM?

HE'LL BE BACK IN A MINUTE.

HOW ABOUT ME JOINING THE BOYS IN A NUMBER?

WHAT'LL IT BE, SHERIFF?

HOW 'BOUT THAT "EVO WALKER" THE BOYS DO SO GOOD?

WELL, JUST HANG ON TO SOMETHING.

A-ONE, TWO, ONE, TWO...

* NOW, EVO WALKER WAS BORN IN KENTUCKY *

* AND RAISED BY HIS DADDY ON A HILLSIDE FARM *

* HE TOOK UP FIDDLE PLAYIN' JUST FOR FUN *

* THAT'S THE LAST WORK THAT EVO WALKER DONE *

* EVO WALKER WAS A MIGHTY FINE FIDDLE PLAYER *

* EVO WALKER WAS A MIGHTY FINE FIDDLE PLAYER *

* WELL, EVO WALKER, HE LEFT KENTUCKY *

* 'CAUSE EVO'S DADDY SAID "DURN YER HIDE *

* "YOU WON'T PLANT CORN AND YOU WON'T MAKE HAY *

* SIT ON THE PORCH AND YOU PLAY THAT THING ALL DAY" *

* EVO WALKER WAS A MIGHTY FINE FIDDLE PLAYER *

* WELL, EVO WALKER, HE WALKED AND HE FIDDLED *

* AND HE WALKED AND HE FIDDLED AND HE FIDDLED TILL HE DIED *

* BUT I'VE HEARD TELL WHEN THE WIND IS DOWN *

* AND THE MOON SHINES BRIGHT AND THE LEAVES ARE BROWN *

* YOU CAN HEAR OLD EVO FIDDLIN' ALL A... *

* ROUND

OH, NOW, THAT WAS SOME KIND OF FINE

I'M HERE TO TELL YOU.

AND LOOKIT THERE--

THE BOY'S A-GETTIN' EAGER.

NOW'S AS GOOD A TIME TO SIGN THE AGREEMENT AS ANY.

Andy: WELL, I'LL GO ALONG WITH THAT.

ANDY, WAIT A MINUTE!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, ANDY?

BARN, STAY OUT OF THIS.

NO, I WILL NOT!

I'VE KNOWN THIS LITTLE BOY

EVER SINCE HE WAS A BABY.

HE'S LIKE MY OWN SON

AND HE'S NOT GOING TO GET ENGAGED TO ANYBODY

AND ANYBODY WHO SAYS OTHERWISE IS GONNA HAVE TO RECKON WITH ME.

WELL...

SORRY FOR THE INTERRUPTION, MR. DARLING.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

NOW, IF YOU JUST SIGN RIGHT THERE.

SIGN ON THEM TWO LINES RIGHT THERE.

I'LL TELL 'IM.

SHE'S MY CHILD.

YOU JUST SIGN ON THEM TWO LINES RIGHT THERE.

OKAY.

OKAY, OPE.

UH, JUST A MINUTE.

WITNESS ALL YE HERE

THE SIGNING IS ABOUT TO TAKE PLACE.

GO AHEAD, BOY.

IN THE NAME OF THE...

BARNEY, GO IN THE KITCHEN.

NOW... NOW, WAIT.

EEBUM-SHOOBUM

SHOOBUM-SHOOBUM.

WHAT'S THAT?

OH, NOTHING.

THAT'S JUST... SOMETHING WE SAY.

OKAY.

OKAY.

THERE YOU ARE.

WELL...

THERE SHE IS, BOY.

SHE'S DONE AND DONE.

PAW, THEM SIGNATURES DISAPPEARED.

DID YOU SEE THAT?

LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

YOU GOT WITCHERY IN YOUR HOUSE.

WELL, JUST A LITTLE ON MY MAMA'S SIDE.

DON'T HOLD IT AGAINST ME.

DON'T TOUCH ME! IT MIGHT BE CATCHY.

WELL, OPE?

THAT DISAPPEARING INK WORKED SWELL, DIDN'T IT, PAW?

IT'S JUST TERRIBLE!

WHY DID YOU DO IT, ANDY

IT'S OVER, BARN.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT'S OVER?

MAYBE YOU BETTER GO UPSTAIRS.

I'LL TAKE HIM HOME.

BARN, THIS ISN'T LIKE YOU.

WELL, I DON'T CARE.

OH, GOOD. GOOD. EXTRA GOOD.

WASN'T THAT GOOD, ANDELINA?

OH, SHE LIKED THAT. DID YOU SEE HER CHUCKLE?

WELL, MR. DARLING, I CAN'T TELL YOU

HOW MUCH I APPRECIATE YOU COMIN' BACK LIKE THIS

AND NOT HOLDING THAT AGAINST ME.

WELL, SHERIFF, ME AND THE BOYS -- WE GOT TO TALKIN'

AND WE DECIDED THAT SINCE THERE'S SOME WITCHES

LIVES UP AROUND OUR PLACE THAT WE VISIT WITH

AND TALK TO AND EVERYTHING, EVEN GO TO CHURCH WITH,

THERE AIN'T NO REASON THAT WE CAN'T ASSOCIATE WITH YOU.

WELL, NOW, THAT'S JUST ABOUT THE NICEST THING

I EVER HEARD OF.

NOW, THAT DON'T MEAN THAT YOU'RE GONNA GET

TO MARRY YOUR SON OFF TO MY GRANDDAUGHTER.

OH, WELL, I UNDERSTAND THAT.

LET'S SEAL IT WITH A SONG.

HOW ABOUT "WILL YOU LOVE ME WHEN I'M OLD AND UGLY"?

OH, NO, PAW, THAT'N MAKES THE BABY CRY.

OH. WELL, HOW ABOUT "STAY ALL NIGHT, STAY A LITTLE LONGER"?

WELL, HANG ON.

A-ONE AND A-TWO AND A-ONE.

* STAY ALL NIGHT, STAY A LITTLE LONGER *

* DANCE ALL NIGHT, DANCE A LITTLE LONGER *

* TAKE OFF YOUR COAT AND THROW IT IN THE CORNER *

* CAN'T SEE WHY YOU DON'T STAY A LITTLE LONGER *

* I GOT A GAL, HER NAME IS SALLY *

* SHE LIVES DOWN THE SHINBONE VALLEY *

* NUMBER ON THE GATE, NUMBER ON THE DOOR *

* THE NEXT HOUSE OVER IS THE GROCERY STORE *