Original subtitles

STARRING ANDY GRIFFITH...

WITH RONNY HOWARD...

ALSO STARRING DON KNOTTS.

CEN...TEN-A-LY.

MNH-MNH. CENTENNIAL.

CEN-TEN-NIAL.

SURE IS A LONG WORD, HUH, PAW?

YES. IT'S A MIGHTY GOOD WORD, THOUGH.

IT MEANS MAYBERRY IS CELEBRATING ITS 100th ANNIVERSARY.

YOU SEE, OPE, THE WORD "CENTENNIAL"

COMES FROM THE LATIN WORD "CENTUS,"

WHICH MEANS A HUNDRED IN THE LATIN LANGUAGE.

NOW, THAT WAS A LANGUAGE THAT WAS USED

BY VERY INTELLIGENT PEOPLE A LONG TIME AGO.

AND WHEN THEY WANTED TO SAY A HUNDRED,

WHY, THEY JUST SAID "CENTUS" INSTEAD, YOU SEE?

WHY DIDN'T THEY JUST SAY A HUNDRED?

WELL, THEY DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT THAT WORD YET.

THEY DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT A HUNDRED?

THEY DON'T SOUND LIKE THEY WERE VERY INTELLIGENT.

BARNEY'S RIGHT, THOUGH. THAT'S RIGHT.

WHENEVER "CENT" IS A PART OF A WORD,

IT USUALLY MEANS A HUNDRED OF SOMETHING OR OTHER.

THAT'S RIGHT.

LIKE, UH..."CENTURY."

NOW, THAT MEANS A HUNDRED YEARS, YOU SEE.

THAT'S RIGHT.

"CENTIPEDE," THAT'S A BUG WITH A HUNDRED LEGS.

COME ON, ANGE, DON'T MAKE UP JOKES

NOT WHILE I'M TRYING TO TEACH THE BOY SOMETHING.

"CENTIPEDE" DOES MEAN A BUG WITH A HUNDRED LEGS.

WELL, IT'S NOT LATIN. IT COULDN'T BE.

YOU KNOW THEM SCHOLARS AND ROMANS WITH ALL THEIR UPBRINGIN'

AIN'T GOING TO BE GOING AROUND TALKIN'

ABOUT CRAWLY LITTLE BUGS -- NOT IN THE LATIN LANGUAGE.

ANYWAY, "CENTENNIAL" MEANS A HUNDRED YEAR ANNIVERSARY

AND THAT'S WHAT WE'RE HAVING.

MR. MASTERS IS PUTTIN' ON A BIG PAGEANT AND EVERYTHING.

YOU GOING TO TRY OUT, BARN?

OH, WELL, I GUESS SO.

I MEAN, IT'S MORE OR LESS EXPECTED OF ME.

A THING LIKE THIS -- A COMMUNITY PROJECT

FOR THE WHOLE COMMUNITY AND EVERYTHING.

THOSE OF US WHO HAVE HAD SPEECH TRAINING

I THINK IT'S UP TO US TO HANDLE THE SPEAKING PARTS

AND PUT THIS THING OVER.

YOU'VE HAD SPEECH TRAINING?

WELL, YOU REMEMBER --

FROM ELEANORA POULTICE, MY VOICE TEACHER.

OH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

SHE'S THE ONE I REALLY GIVE ALL THE CREDIT TO TODAY

FOR MY DICTION.

PETER PIPER PICKED A PECK OF PICKLED PEPPERS.

MISS POULTICE?

YEAH.

MUST BE HARD TO WORK INTO CONVERSATION, THOUGH.

SHE SELLS SEASHELLS BY THE SEASHORE.

NOW, THERE'S A LITTLE TWISTER

THAT TAKES MONTHS TO GET STRAIGHT.

SHE SELLS SEASHELLS BY THE SEASHORE.

HOW MUCH WOOD WOULD A WOODCHUCK CHUCK

IF A WOODCHUCK COULD CHUCK WOOD?

HOW MUCH WOOD WOULD A WOODCHUCK CHUCK

IF A WOODCHUCK COULD CHUCK WOOD?

WITH STURDY THREATS AND LOUDEST BOASTS

HE THRUSTS HIS WRISTS AGAINST THE POST

AND STILL INSISTS HE SEES A GHOST.

GOSH.

BARNEY SURE IS GOOD, AIN'T HE, PAW?

HE SURE IS.

I BETCHA HE CAN EVEN SAY "RUBBER BABY BUGGY BUMPERS"

FOUR TIMES REAL FAST.

BUT THAT'S AN OLD ONE, PAW.

HE CAN PROBABLY SAY THAT ONE EASY, HUH, BARNEY?

OH, YEAH.

HELLO, EVERYBODY.

Opie: HI, AUNT BEE.

Andy: HI, AUNT BEE.

WELL, HOW'D YOU LIKE YOUR LUNCH, HUH?

OH, IT WAS GOOD. GOOD.

OPIE, DID YOU GET MY BAKING POWDER?

OH, YES, MA'AM.

GOOD. WE'LL GO HOME

AND TRY IT OUT ON A PAN OF BROWNIES.

OH, BOY.

DON'T FORGET TRYOUTS TONIGHT.

NO, I'LL BE THERE.

GOSH, AUNT BEE, YOU GOING TO TRY OUT FOR A PART?

NO, I DO THE SEWING WORK ON THE COSTUMES.

WELL, MAYBE OPIE'S GOT AN IDEA.

WHY DON'T YOU TRY OUT? ME AND BARNEY'S GOING TO.

THERE'S A GOOD WOMAN'S PART -- LADY MAYBERRY

FOUNDING MOTHER OF THE TOWN.

BE A WASTE OF TIME.

I'M CERTAIN MR. MASTERS HAS DECIDED ON CLARA EDWARDS

FOR THE PART.

BESIDES, SOMEBODY HAS TO DO THE SEWING.

COME ON, OPIE. SEE YOU LATER.

BYE, PAW. BYE.

MUST GET TIRESOME JUST DOING ALL THAT SEWING.

RABBER BUBBY GUPPY GUMPERS...

RUB-BER...

NOT THAT I COULDN'T DO A SPEAKING PART.

IT'S NOT THAT AT ALL, BECAUSE I COULD.

YES, MA'AM.

HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE FOR BROWNIES TO COOK?

30 MINUTES.

YEARS AGO, I WAS IN ONE OF OUR CHURCH PLAYS,

AND I REMEMBER MY MOTHER AND FATHER BOTH

SAYING I WAS THE BEST ONE IN IT.

AFTER THEY COME OUT, DO THEY HAVE TO COOL OFF

BEFORE WE CAN EAT THEM?

I LIKE TO EAT THEM HOT.

I EVEN HAD MY NAME IN THE CHURCH PUBLICATIONS.

DID I EVER SHOW THAT TO YOU?

OPIE, COME ON.

COME ON, I'LL SHOW YOU.

YOU GOING TO PUT SOME CONVENTIONEER'S SUGAR ON 'EM?

CONFECTIONERS' SUGAR.

THAT'S WHAT I MEANT.

GEE, I HOPE THEY COME OUT NICE AND CHEWY.

NOW, LET'S SEE. HERE WE ARE.

"NEWS FROM THE ALTAR."

WHOSE NAME IS THAT

PLAYING ALICE IN THE LITTLE PRINCESS?

THAT'S YOUR NAME.

SO, YOU SEE, I HAVE BEEN ON THE STAGE.

UH-HUH.

DON'T YOU THINK WE OUGHT TO BE IN THE KITCHEN

IN CASE THEY GET READY EARLY?

I'M CERTAIN I COULD PLAY LADY MAYBERRY.

AFTER ALL, ONCE YOU'VE PLAYED A PRINCESS, WOULDN'T YOU SAY?

HUH?

OH, YES, MA'AM.

I THINK THEY'RE DONE.

THEY'RE PROBABLY COUNTING ON ME TO DO THE SEWING.

I'LL GET A PLATE READY.

THIS IS GOOD SOIL, MARY.

IT'S BOTTOMLAND.

WE CAN STOP HERE AND BUILD OUR HOME AND TILL THE FIELDS.

BUT WILL THE INDIANS LET US LIVE IN PEACE?

HERE COMES THE GREAT CHIEF. LET US SEE.

OH, JAMES, I FEAR HIM.

HE LOOKS SO WARLIKE IN HIS PAINT AND FEATHERS.

NOW, MARY, WE MUST NOT SHOW HIM FEAR.

WE MUST HAVE STRENGTH IF WE ARE TO CONQUER THE WILDERNESS.

I WILL TALK TO HIM.

GREETINGS TO YOU, GREAT CHIEF.

GREETINGS TO YOU, GREAT CHIEF.

HUH? IT'S YOUR TURN, BARNEY.

WHERE ARE WE?

SAY THAT LINE THAT COMES RIGHT BEFORE MINE AGAIN. OKAY.

GREETINGS TO YOU, GREAT CHIEF. HOW!

ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE.

LET'S RELAX FOR A WHILE.

THANK YOU.

I WANT TO HEAR MORE OF YOU IN A MINUTE.

THANK YOU, JOHN.

HEY, BARN, I KNOW HOW YOU CAN LEARN YOUR PART REAL GOOD.

HOW? SEE?

MR. MASTERS...

OH, HELLO, MISS BEE.

MAY I SPEAK TO YOU FOR A MOMENT?

YES, OF COURSE. EXCUSE ME.

YEAH?

I'D LIKE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THE PART OF LADY MAYBERRY.

OH, YES, OF COURSE. VERY IMPORTANT PART.

SHE'S THE LEADING CHARACTER

WHO ACTUALLY TELLS OUR STORY ABOUT THE FOUNDING

OF THIS COMMUNITY.

YES, I KNOW.

SO, NATURALLY, EVERYTHING ABOUT IT

MUST BE JUST RIGHT, YOU UNDERSTAND.

YES, OF COURSE.

AH, MISS BEE, THE COSTUME YOU MAKE FOR HER

WILL BE ALMOST AS IMPORTANT

AS THE WORDS SHE SPEAKS. HMM?

THE COSTUME... FOR CLARA EDWARDS.

SHE'LL BE PLAYING THE ROLE.

OH, BUT I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT.

AFTER ALL THE WONDERFUL SEWING JOBS

YOU'VE DONE FOR US IN THE PAST.

YES, MM-HMM.

THANK YOU.

HI, AUNT BEE.

OH, WELL, NOW, HOW'D IT GO TONIGHT?

OH, BOY.

WHY? WHAT'S THE MATTER?

MISS BEE, WE'RE IN TROUBLE.

BIG TROUBLE.

CLARA EDWARDS HAD TO DROP OUT OF THE PLAY.

OH?

YEAH, HER SISTER OVER IN SABERTON TOOK SICK,

AND SHE HAD TO GO OVER THERE TO BE WITH HER.

OPENING NIGHT A SCANT TWO WEEKS AWAY

AND OUR LEADING LADY IS LOST TO US.

WELL, WE'LL JUST HAVE TO FIND SOMEBODY ELSE, JOHN.

AH, YES, BUT HOW

IT'S NOT A SIMPLE PART.

IT REQUIRES SOMEONE OF GREAT WARMTH AND SYMPATHY.

OH, YOU'RE SO RIGHT.

THE LEADING LADY MUST HAVE WARMTH AND SYMPATHY.

REVEREND DARGOOD TOLD ME THAT IN MY DRESSING ROOM

WHEN I WAS DOING THE LITTLE PRINCESS.

HOW ABOUT MRS. AMBRISTER OVER AT THE LIBRARY?

OH, NO, SHE'S A LITTLE BITTY WOMAN. WELL...

NO, AND SHE DOESN'T HAVE THE VOLUME.

WE NEED SOMEONE WITH A VOICE STRONG ENOUGH TO FILL THAT HALL.

YES, THAT WAS ANOTHER THING HE INSISTED UPON.

WE ALL HAD TO BE HEARD

THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE RECTORY.

Masters: THERE'S NOBODY AROUND WHO CAN REALLY SPEAK UP.

WELL, THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS

TO FIND SOMEBODY WITH THEATRICAL EXPERIENCE

AND KNOW-HOW.

MOST IMPORTANT IS A WOMAN WHO IS GRACEFUL --

WHO CAN MOVE ABOUT FLUIDLY.

CARE FOR SOME COFFEE?

I'LL CLEAR THE TABLE.

Andy: AUNT BEE...

YES?

WHY DON'T YOU DO IT?

DO WHAT? DO THE PART.

THE PART? YEAH.

ME, LADY MAYBERRY?

OH, WHATEVER GAVE YOU A NOTION LIKE THAT?

I'LL GET THE COFFEE.

JOHN, WHAT DO YOU THINK?

IT MIGHT JUST BE THE ANSWER.

WELL, I SUPPOSE SHE MIGHT DO

BUT...I'D HOPED FOR SOMEBODY WITH A LITTLE MORE EXPERIENCE.

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU THE TRUTH.

SHE'LL GIVE YOU ALL SHE'S GOT.

YEAH. IS IT ENOUGH, THOUGH? IS IT ENOUGH?

MISS BEE, IT'S A VERY DEMANDING ROLE.

IT MUST ENCOMPASS THE DYNAMIC

AS WELL AS THE TENDER QUALITIES OF LADY MAYBERRY.

CAN YOU DO IT?

YES! YES, I CAN.

GENTLEMEN...I GIVE YOU THE NEW LADY MAYBERRY.

WELL, CONGRATULATIONS, AUNT BEE.

SAKES, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

THIS HAS ALL HAPPENED SO SUDDENLY.

I HAD NO IDEA I'D BE CALLED UPON.

WELL, IT'S GOODBYE, KITCHEN

HELLO, BROADWAY.

HI, JOHN. ANDY.

HEY, AUNT BEE, DID YOU SEE THIS IN THE GAZETTE?

NO. WHAT?

THERE'S OUR NAMES, BARN.

SAYS...SAYS, UH, "ASSUMING THE ROLE OF LADY MAYBERRY

IS MISS BEE TAYLOR."

"ALTHOUGH A NEWCOMER TO THE MAYBERRY STAGE,

"MISS TAYLOR IS REMEMBERED BY MANY WEST VIRGINIANS

"FOR HER OUTSTANDING PERFORMANCE

IN THE LITTLE PRINCESS IN THE EARLY '20s."

BUT HE DOESN'T SAY IT WAS A CHILD'S PART.

OH, I THINK EVERYBODY'LL JUST ASSUME THAT, AUNT BEE.

ALL RIGHT, PEOPLE.

EVERYBODY'S HERE NOW, SO LET'S GET STARTED, SHALL WE?

NOOGATUCK KNOWS THAT JAMES MERRIWEATHER WANTS PEACE.

WE WISH TO LIVE SIDE BY SIDE

WITH YOU, OUR BROTHERS, IN THIS BEAUTIFUL VALLEY.

FOR MANY MOONS

NOOGATUCK HAS SMOKED THE PEACE PIPE WITH YOU, MY FRIEND,

BUT NOW MANY PALEFACE COME, AND THEY BRING GUNS.

NOOGATUCK'S VALLEY GROWS SMALLER.

UH, CAN WE DO WITHOUT THE COUGHING?

TAKE SMALLER PUFFS.

CAN WE CONTINUE? JAMES, PLEASE.

MY FOLLOWERS COME ONLY IN FRIENDSHIP.

THEY BRING GIFTS.

THEY HELP YOU PLANT CORN.

OUR WOMEN GIVE CALICO TO YOUR SQUAWS.

IS ALL THIS NOT TRUE, NOOGATUCK?

EVERYTHING THAT LAUGHING FACE SAYS IS TRUE.

BUT TREATIES SAY THAT HE WILL NOT USE

THE LAND BEYOND RUNNING STREAM

WHERE THE BIG OAK... REACHES TO THE SKY. LOOK.

EVEN -- EVEN NOW YOU'VE BUILT YOUR LODGES.

THE PALEFACE IS NOT A MAN OF HIS WORD.

JOHN? HMM?

COULD WE CHANGE THAT LAST LINE?

IT JUST ISN'T COMFORTABLE.

I MEAN, IT'S JUST NOT NOOGATUCK.

POSSIBLY.

UH, WE'LL SEE WHAT THE AUTHOR SAYS.

DUANE?

CHANGE "PALEFACE IS NOT A MAN OF HIS WORD"?

WELL, I KIND OF AGREE WITH BARNEY.

IT FELT SO RIGHT TO ME.

IT'S A BEAUTIFUL LINE, DUANE.

IT'S JUST NOT INDIANISH ENOUGH.

HOW ABOUT...

..."PALEFACE SPEAKS WITH A FORKED TONGUE"?

OH, MARVELOUS!

THAT'S IT. OH, IT SINGS!

TRY THAT, BARNEY.

ALREADY YOU'VE BUILT YOUR LODGES.

PALEFACE SPEAK WITH FORKED TONGUE.

ALL RIGHT, NOW YOU BOTH SLOWLY RISE

BRINGING THE SCENE TO ITS CLIMAX.

JAMES?

NOOGATUCK, YOU HAVE MY PLEDGE.

WE WILL MOVE BACK ACROSS THE RUNNING WATER

WHERE THE BIG OAK REACHES TO THE SKY

AND WE WILL LIVE IN PEACE.

WE WILL LIVE IN PEACE,

AND THIS WILL BE CALLED... HAPPY VALLEY.

ALL RIGHT, NOW, THERE ARE A FEW SPOTS

I'LL GO OVER WITH YOU A LITTLE LATER.

LADY MAYBERRY, PLEASE.

OPENING THE SECOND ACT, NOW.

YOUR SOLILOQUY. YES.

AND YOU'LL MAKE YOUR ENTRANCE FROM THE WINGS.

NO, NO, NO.

THE OTHER SIDE.

THAT NEW LINE

FELT MORE COMFORTABLE?

OH, YEAH, MUCH. THANKS, DUANE.

I'D LIKE TO SEE YOU PROJECT A LITTLE MORE.

OH, OKAY. OH, AND, ANDY,

WHEN HE CALLS YOU "LAUGHING FACE,"

I'D LIKE TO SEE JUST THE FAINTEST SMILE.

OH, OKAY.

YEAH, THAT'S IT, THAT'S IT. JUST A TRACE. YEAH.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO WEAR THAT ALL THE TIME.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT, LADY MAYBERRY

YOUR ENTRANCE.

UH, LADY MAYBERRY,

YOU WENT PAST THE WINGS.

COME BACK.

DO I MAKE MY ENTRANCE NOW?

YES, IF YOU PLEASE.

IN, IN...

NOW, WHENEVER YOU'RE READY, MISS TAYLOR.

EVENTIDE.

THE GENTLE RUSTLING OF THE LEAVES.

THE BIRDS SEEKING THEIR NESTS.

OH, MY HAPPY VALLEY.

ENGLAND, YOU'RE SO FAR AWAY.

BUT, HARK! DO I HEAR THE DISTANT DRUMS OF WAR?

WILL THE NOBLE RED MAN RISE...

AGAIN...

IN ALL HIS FURY?

THERE LIES THE COURSE OF HISTORY.

ON THE ONE HAND, WE HAVE THE FOLLOWERS OF...

I FORGET HIS NAME.

JAMES MERRIWEATHER.

...JAMES MERRIWEATHER

WHO COME IN EVER-INCREASING NUMBERS.

AND ON THE OTHER HAND...

...WE HAVE NAUGATOOCK.

NOOGATUCK!

NOOGATUCK! WHOSE FAMILY HAVE ROAMED THESE LANDS

FOR GENERATIONS.

ANDY, SHE'S TERRIBLE.

YEAH. WHO WAS IT SUGGESTED SHE BE IN THE PAGEANT?

YOU WAS THE ONE THAT SAID IT.

I WAS AFRAID IT WAS.

WELL, JOHN, MAYBE IF YOU WORKED WITH HER A LITTLE BIT.

OH, NO! NO!

I WORKED WITH HER FOR THREE HOURS LAST NIGHT.

AS YOU MAY KNOW, I HAVE SOMETHING OF A REPUTATION

HERE IN THE NORTHERN PART OF THE STATE.

I KNOW, JOHN.

OH! BUT I CAN SEE IT CRUMBLING.

CRUMBLING BEFORE MY VERY EYES.

WELL, JOHN, YOU GOT TO GIVE HER A CHANCE.

I'LL BET EVEN TEX RITTER DIDN'T HIT IT RIGHT

THE FIRST TIME OUT.

OH!

OH, I JUST HATE TO SEE IT HAPPEN TO HER.

AUNT BEE'S SUCH A SWEET PERSON.

A DELIGHTFUL PERSON.

I ADORE HER...

BUT SHE CAN'T ACT.

NOW, THEN, WILL YOU TELL HER, OR WILL I?

WELL, I GUESS IT'D BE A LITTLE EASIER

COMING FROM ME.

THEN I'LL COUNT ON THAT.

MMM...YEAH.

GOOD.

WELL, THE THEATER...

HEARTBREAK ALLEY.

MMM.

EVENTIDE. THE GENTLE RUSTLING OF THE LEAVES.

THE BIRDS SEEKING THEIR NEST.

OH, MY HAPPY VALLEY.

ENGLAND, FAR AWAY.

SO FAR.

SO FAR? UH-HUH.

EVENTIDE. THE GENTLE RUSTLING OF THE LEAVES. THE BIRDS...

HI, PAW.

OH, HELLO, ANDY.

I WAS PRACTICING.

OH, HI. IT WAS SOUNDING PRETTY GOOD.

YEAH. ME AND JOHN MASTERS WAS JUST TALKING

ABOUT HOW HARD THAT OPENING SPEECH IS.

I DON'T THINK JOHN UNDERSTANDS

LADY MAYBERRY.

YOU DON'T?

NO.

OH, YOU MEAN YOU DON'T,

UH, CARE FOR HIM MUCH AS A DIRECTOR.

WELL, HE'S ALL RIGHT, BUT HE'S NO REVEREND DARGOOD.

OH. WELL, WELL, LISTEN,

IF -- IF YOU DON'T SEE EYE TO EYE WITH HIM,

WHY DON'T YOU JUST... FORGET IT?

FORGET IT?

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

I KNOW THAT YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING ON THE STAGE

THAT YOU DIDN'T FEEL WAS RIGHT

AND SO IF YOU CAN'T WORK IT OUT WITH HIM,

WELL, JUST LET HIM WORRY ABOUT IT.

LET HIM GET SOMEBODY ELSE.

I WOULDN'T GIVE UP THIS PART FOR ANYTHING IN THE WORLD.

IT'S GOING TO BE A THRILLING EXPERIENCE.

OH, YEAH.

OH, GOOD HEAVENS, LOOK AT THE TIME.

I'M GOING TO BE LATE FOR PRACTICE.

THANK YOU, OPIE.

WE'LL TALK ABOUT THIS LATER.

OH. OH, ABOUT SUPPER.

OH, WELL, WE'LL PICK UP SOMETHING AT THE DINER.

OH, I KNOW I'M NEGLECTING YOU BOTH,

BUT I JUST DON'T SEEM TO FIND THE TIME.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. WE'LL BE FINE.

I'M AFRAID IT'S GOING TO BE LIKE THIS

FOR THE NEXT TWO WEEKS, BUT...

THE PAGEANT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING,

ISN'T IT, ANDY? OH, YEAH.

OH, OH, ANSWER THAT FOR ME, WILL YOU, ANDY?

IF IT'S FOR ME, TELL HIM I'M ON MY WAY, HMM?

RIGHT.

OH, BOY, OH, BOY.

YEAH?

ANDY, WONDERFUL NEWS!

I'VE JUST HEARD THAT CLARA EDWARDS IS BACK IN TOWN.

THE ROLE OF LADY MAYBERRY IS SOLVED.

I ASSUME YOU'VE SPOKEN TO YOUR AUNT.

NO, JOHN, I DIDN'T GET AROUND TO TELLING HER.

I KNOW.

YEAH, I KNOW, I KNOW, I KNOW.

ANDY, I'M NOT UNSYMPATHETIC, BUT SHE MUST BE TOLD.

WELL, JOHN, I'LL FIGURE OUT SOME WAY OF TELLING HER.

BUT DO ME A FAVOR, JOHN.

DON'T SAY ANYTHING TO MISS EDWARDS RIGHT NOW, WILL YA?

WELL, YEAH.

WELL, YEAH, I KNOW. I-I WILL.

ALL RIGHT. THANKS.

GOODBYE.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO.

I'LL BE GLAD WHEN THAT PAGEANT'S OVER.

I'M GETTING TIRED OF EATING AT THE DINER.

YEAH.

YOU KNOW, I AM, TOO.

OH, GOOD HEAVENS. I'VE GOT A LIST A MILE LONG.

NOW, LET'S SEE.

I NEED LACE FOR MY COSTUME, PRACTICE AT 10:00.

THEN I HAVE TO PICK UP MY SHOES, I NEED THREAD,

THEN I BETTER GO TO THE GROCERY.

WE NEED BREAD AND BUTTER AND EGGS.

OH, THEN I HAVE TO GO TO THE LAUNDRY.

HOW AM I EVER GOING TO GET ALL THIS DONE?

WELL, THAT'S SHOW BIZ, AUNT BEE.

THAT'S SHOW BIZ.

OH, THAT MUST BE CLARA EDWARDS.

WANT TO GET THE DOOR, OPE?

SURE, PAW.

IS CLARA EDWARDS BACK?

MM-HMM. CAME IN YESTERDAY AFTERNOON.

I CALLED HER AND ASKED HER IF SHE'D MIND COMING OVER

AND HELPING OUT WHILE YOU'RE BUSY WITH THE PAGEANT.

SAID SHE'D BE GLAD TO. OH?

ISN'T THAT NICE OF HER?

MISS EDWARDS, IT CERTAINLY IS NICE OF YOU

TO HELP OUT LIKE THIS.

I'M GLAD TO DO IT, ANDY.

OH, BEE, I HEARD YOU WERE PLAYING LADY MAYBERRY.

I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU.

NOW, DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT OUR TWO MEN HERE.

I'M GOING TO TREAT THEM JUST LIKE THEY WERE MY OWN.

WELL, THAT'S VERY SWEET OF YOU, CLARA.

OH, IT'LL BE SO NICE TO HAVE SOMEONE TO COOK FOR.

WELL, WE'RE LOOKING FORWARD TO IT, HUH, OPE?

YEAH, BOY!

BOY, I CAN'T WAIT TO GET AHOLD

OF SOME OF THAT FINE APPLE PIE YOU MAKE.

WHY, WE'LL HAVE SOME EVERY NIGHT IF YOU LIKE.

PIE EVERY NIGHT?! WOW!

CLARA, YOU DON'T HAVE TO GO TO ALL THAT TROUBLE.

TROUBLE? WHY, I'LL ENJOY IT MORE THAN THEY WILL.

WELL, AUNT BEE, YOU BETTER RUN ALONG

IF YOU EVER EXPECT TO GET THAT STUFF DONE.

YES, I SUPPOSE SO,

AND I STILL HAVE TO WORK ON THAT OPENING SPEECH.

OH, THAT LOVELY OPENING SPEECH.

EVENTIDE. THE GENTLE RUSTLING OF THE LEAVES.

THE BIRDS SEEKING OUT THEIR NESTS.

OH, MY HAPPY VALLEY!

ENGLAND, YOU'RE SO FAR AWAY.

I DID REMEMBER.

WELL, I SUPPOSE I'D BETTER BE GOING.

YES, AND I'D BETTER GET INTO THAT KITCHEN.

WELL, NOW, NOW, DON'T WORRY WHEN YOU COME BACK.

WE'RE IN GOOD HANDS.

BYE, AUNT BEE.

GUESS IT DIDN'T WORK, HUH, PAW?

UH...

I GUESS NOT.

CLARA?

WHY, BEE!

I THOUGHT YOU WERE ON YOUR WAY TO PLAY PRACTICE.

UH, CLARA...

IS ANYTHING WRONG?

NO, NO, IT WAS, UM, JUST THAT SPEECH A MOMENT AGO.

YOU SAID IT SO BEAUTIFULLY.

IT SET ME TO THINKING.

WHAT ABOUT?

CLARA, YOU WERE THEIR FIRST CHOICE

AND RIGHTFULLY SO.

OH, BEE, YOU'LL BE SIMPLY WONDERFUL IN IT!

AND YOU'D BE MUCH BETTER.

CLARA, PLEASE TAKE BACK THE PART.

BUT YOU'VE WORKED SO HARD, BEE.

I COULDN'T TAKE IT AWAY.

I DON'T CARE!

I DON'T CARE ONE LITTLE BIT. I REALLY DON'T.

YOU MEAN IT?

YES, I MEAN IT.

Y I'M SURE.

OH, BEE!

HURRY. THEY'VE STARTED PLAY PRACTICE.

OH, BEE!

OH! OH!

THANK YOU, BEE!

HOW WOULD YOU BOYS LIKE A NICE APPLE PIE FOR DESSERT TONIGHT?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I THOUGHT YOU WAS GOING TO GO TO PRACTICE.

NO, CLARA EDWARDS IS GOING TO PLAY THE PART.

WELL, WHY AREN'T YOU GOING TO PLAY IT?

WELL, I HAVE MY REASONS.

O

I DON'T WANT ANYBODY

FUSSING AROUND IN MY KITCHEN.

I SEE.

AND YOU KNOW SOMETHING?

I THINK SHE'S A BETTER ACTRESS THAN I AM.

YOU'RE REALLY SOMETHING, YOU KNOW THAT, AUNT BEE?

COME ON, OPIE.

WE'LL START THE APPLE PIE.

AND I HEREWITH DEED THESE LANDS JOINTLY

TO JAMES MERRIWEATHER AND CHIEF NOOGATUCK,

KNOWING THAT THEY WILL RULE WISELY

AND THAT THEY WILL SHARE THE BOUNTY

OF THIS GREEN AND HAPPY VALLEY,

WHICH SHALL HEREIN AFTER BE CALLED MAYBERRY.

BOY, THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN NIGHT AND DAY,

ISN'T IT?

YEAH, BOY. THAT MISS EDWARDS IS A FINE ACTRESS.

WELL, AUNT BEE TRIED, BUT IT'S JUST ONE OF THEM THINGS.

EITHER YOU GOT IT OR YOU DON'T. I GUESS.

I MEAN, YOU GOT TO HAVE THE RAW TALENT TO START WITH.

OF COURSE, THAT CAN BE REFINED, THAT'S TRUE.

BUT -- HEY.

WHAT'S THAT FELLA DOING WEARING MY HEADDRESS?

HEY, FELLA! HEY!

BARNEY, COULD I SPEAK TO YOU PRIVATELY?

WAIT A MINUTE.

I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING WEARING MY HEADDRESS.

BARNEY, COULD WE TALK OVER IN THE CORNER?

THAT'S MY HEADDRESS!

BARNEY, I MEANT TO SPEAK TO YOU BEFORE THIS.

THERE'S A FEW ROUGH EDGES IN MY PERFORMANCE.

WE GOT TWO WEEKS. I KNOW I CAN DO THIS PART.

I MEAN, I FEEL NOOGATUCK. NOOGATUCK IS ME!

HEY, FELLA!

BARNEY! BARNEY!