Original subtitles

STARRING ANDY GRIFFITH...

WITH RONNY HOWARD...

ALSO STARRING DON KNOTTS.

OH, MORNIN', BARN.

MORNIN', ANDY.

WELL, I SEE YOU FORGOT.

FORGOT WHAT?

WHAT DAY THIS IS.

MAY 16th FIVE YEARS AGO-- WHAT HAPPENED?

SOMETHIN' HAPPENED TO YOU?

YEAH.

WELL, THINK.

UH...YOU MET THELMA LOU?

NO. THAT WAS IN 1960 AT WILTON BLAIR'S FUNERAL.

OH, YEAH, YEAH.

TRY AGAIN.

OH, YOU MOVED

INTO MISS MENDELBRIGHT'S BOARDIN' HOUSE?

NO.

AS FAR AS I CAN FIGURE,

THEY'RE THE HIGH SPOTS.

I WANT YOU TO TRY AND GUESS.

I CAN'T GUESS.

COME ON, GUESS!

BARNEY...

WILL YOU GUESS?

WELL...

I JOINED THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE.

MAN, YOU'D THINK THAT'D BE THE KIND OF A DAY

YOU'D REMEMBER RIGHT OFF THE BAT.

WELL, I HAD IT.

I WAS ABOUT TO COME OUT WITH IT.

WELL, IT'S OKAY.

JUST HAPPENED TO BE

A PRETTY IMPORTANT DAY IN MY LIFE.

OH, WELL, YEAH.

IT'S JUST THAT I'VE BEEN SO DARN BUSY.

IT'S ALL RIGHT. YOU DON'T HAVE TO APOLOGIZE.

WELL...I'M SORRY.

IT'S OKAY, BELIEVE ME.

THESE THINGS HAPPEN, I KNOW THAT.

I UNDERSTAND. SO LET'S JUST DROP IT.

OKAY.

I JUST HAPPEN TO BE THE ONLY DEPUTY YOU'VE GOT.

I DON'T THINK THAT'S A GIGANTIC THING TO REMEMBER.

BARN, I...

YOU WANT TO FORGET IT?

WELL, I...

LET'S CONSIDER THE SUBJECT CLOSED.

OKAY.

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW THIS, ANDY, BUT...

JOININ' THE SHERIFF'S OFFICE

WAS A PRETTY BIG DECISION FOR ME.

WELL, YEAH, IT WOULD BE.

YOU KNOW, I THINK I WAS ALWAYS MEANT TO BE A LAWMAN.

HMM.

AND LET ME SAY THIS, ANDY,

A BIG PART OF IT HAS BEEN WORKIN' WITH YOU.

GOOD.

WELL, DON'T GET OVEREMOTIONAL ABOUT IT.

BOY, YOU'RE REALLY A SENTIMENTAL ONE, AREN'T YA?

WELL, NOW, BARN...

FORGET IT, FORGET IT, FORGET IT.

ANY CALLS?

YEAH, ONE.

THERE'S A BENT LAMPPOST OVER ON THE CORNER OF MAPLE.

WELL, I'LL GET RIGHT ON IT.

SPEND FIVE YEARS IN THE PLACE, IT'S LIKE NOBODY EVEN NOTICED.

SARAH? GET ME AUNT BEE.

AUNT BEE? LISTEN, BARNEY'S PRETTY UPSET.

YEAH, I THINK WE BETTER HAVE THE PARTY A LITTLE EARLIER.

ABOUT, YEAH, ABOUT 4:00.

YEAH. WELL, I HAVE TO RUN OVER TO MT. PILOT

TO THE CIVIL SERVICE OFFICE

BUT I'M SURE I'LL BE BACK BY THEN.

YEAH. OKAY. BYE.

WELL, WHAT MADE 'EM DECIDE TO PUT SHERIFF'S DEPUTIES

UNDER CIVIL SERVICE ALL OF A SUDDEN?

THERE'S BEEN TOO MUCH HANDING OUT OF DEPUTY BADGES.

A LOT OF FELLAS HAVE TAKEN ADVANTAGE OF THE PRIVILEGE.

SO THE STATE FELT IT COULD CONTROL THE SITUATION BETTER

IF IT WAS PUT UNDER CIVIL SERVICE.

OH, I SEE.

WHAT ABOUT THESE NEW PHYSICAL REQUIREMENTS?

FIVE-FOOT-EIGHT, 145 POUNDS--

THAT'S JUST FOR NEW PERSONNEL, ISN'T IT?

OH, NO. ALL DEPUTIES.

WHAT ABOUT A MAN THAT'S BEEN IN FOR FIVE YEARS?

HE'LL STILL HAVE TO MEET THE REQUIREMENTS.

WELL, WHAT IF HE'S PROVED HE CAN DO HIS JOB REAL WELL?

SORRY. THERE ARE NO EXCEPTIONS.

WE'LL RUN THIS CHECK IN A WEEK.

I'LL, UH, CALL YOU.

HMM.

BARNEY WILL LOVE IT, WON'T HE, OPIE?

NEVER KNOW HOW I DID IT. I JUST DID IT.

I'LL GO WATCH FOR BARNEY. OKAY.

I THINK WE'D BETTER GET EVERYTHING IN THE BACK

BEFORE HE GETS HERE.

YES, WE WANT IT TO BE A REAL SURPRISE.

KEEP YOUR EYES PEELED, OPIE! Opie: I WILL.

OH, HE'S A SMART BOY. JUST AS SHARP AS THEY COME.

DIDN'T YOU SAY ANDY'D BE BACK BY NOW?

I KNOW, BUT THAT MEETING IN MT. PILOT

MUST HAVE HELD HIM UP.

OH, I HOPE HE ISN'T GOING TO BE LATE.

OH, IT'S A NICE THING YOU'RE DOING FOR BARNEY.

I WONDER WHERE HE'S BEEN.

DIDN'T YOU SAY HE WAS OUT ON PATROL?

WELL, I MEAN LAST MONDAY.

USUALLY GETS A HAIRCUT EVERY THIRD MONDAY.

YEAH, I ALWAYS ENJOY CUTTING BARNEY'S HAIR.

HIS EARS KIND OF WING OUT, AND IT GIVES YOU ROOM TO WORK.

HE'S COMING AROUND THE CORNER!

BARNEY'S COMING, EVERYBODY! HE'S COMING.

OH, AND ANDY ISN'T HERE. WE'LL HAVE TO START WITHOUT HIM.

COME ON, LET'S GET IN THE BACK ROOM.

GOOD TIPPER, TOO. NOTHING TIGHT ABOUT HIM.

COME ON.

Together: SURPRISE!

CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR FIFTH ANNIVERSARY.

CONGRATULATIONS, BARNEY.

OH, IT'S THE BEST OF EVERYTHING, BARNEY.

IT'S A GREAT DAY.

OH, I DIDN'T THINK ANYBODY REMEMBERED.

GOSH.

WHERE WERE YOU MONDAY?

WHAT?

OPIE, DON'T YOU HAVE

SOMETHING TO SAY TO BARNEY?

THIS IS FROM EVERYBODY.

IT'S A WATERPROOF WRISTWATCH.

OH, GOLLY. YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THIS.

ANDY WAS SUPPOSED TO BE HERE

BUT HE GOT HELD UP AT THE MEETING AT MT. PILOT.

STAINLESS STEEL, WOW.

YEAH, AND IT'S GOT WRITIN' ON THE BACK.

OH...

THAT'S NICE. IT'S...

IT'S NICE.

READ IT, BARNEY, READ IT. WHAT'S IT SAY?

"FIVE."

WE THOUGHT WE'D PUT FIVE ON IT

BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN IN FOR FIVE YEARS.

DO YOU LIKE IT, BARNEY?

DO I LIKE IT?

YOU'D JUST HAVE TO BE CRAZY

NOT TO LIKE A WATCH LIKE THIS.

THANKS. THANKS, ALL OF YA.

WELL, I... I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

OH.

Aunt Bee: READY?

Thelma Lou: MAKE A WISH.

Opie: COME ON.

HERE WE GO--

Opie: YOU GOT YOUR WISH.

Bee: NOW, BARNEY GETS THE FIRST PIECE.

THERE WE GO.

BETTER START WITH SMALL PIECES.

OH, ANDY, WE HAD TO START

WITHOUT YOU.

I'M SORRY.

THERE WAS A LOT OF TRAFFIC ON THE ROAD.

CONGRATULATIONS, BARN.

OH, THANKS.

YOU REALLY PLAYED IT COOL THIS MORNING,

YOU SON OF A GUN.

I WANTED TO SURPRISE YOU.

NEVER BE BALD, THAT BARNEY.

HE'S GOT A LOOSE SCALP.

THERE'S A LOT OF PLAY IN IT.

AND?

THANKS FOR YOUR PART OF THE WATCH.

OH, THAT'S OKAY.

DID YOU READ THE WRITING ON THE BACK, ANDY?

SHOW IT TO HIM.

SEE THERE?

"FIVE."

FIVE.

FIVE.

HERE'S YOUR CAKE.

YOU GONNA EAT ALL THAT CAKE?

A LOT OF CALORIES IN THERE.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

WHAT DO YOU WEIGH ANYWAY?

WITH OR WITHOUT MY GUN?

WITHOUT.

OH, IT VARIES-- 138, 138 1/2.

I'M UP AND DOWN.

RIGHT IN THAT RANGE, HUH?

YEAH, I LIKE TO KEEP IT TIGHT.

ANDY, HOW ABOUT A PIECE OF CAKE?

OH, NO THANKS, AUNT BEE.

I HAD A BIG LUNCH IN MT. PILOT.

HOW'D THINGS GO?

OH, FINE, FINE.

I WILL HAVE A BOTTLE OF POP, THOUGH.

OH, BOY.

BEST OF LUCK IN THE FUTURE.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER, BARN.

OKAY, OPE. BYE-BYE.

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY.

SEE YOU TONIGHT.

RIGHT.

YEAH.

MMM.

YEAH.

FIVE.

FIVE.

YEAH. YEAH.

YEAH.

YEAH, BOY.

WELL, I DON'T MIND TELLIN' YA THAT WAS QUITE A THRILL.

KIND OF MAKES A FELLA FEEL LIKE HE'S REALLY WANTED.

I'M SORRY YOU MISSED THE SURPRISE.

YEAH, I'M SORRY, TOO.

MUST'VE BEEN A PRETTY IMPORTANT MEETING.

MMM...YEAH.

ANY PROBLEMS?

BARN, I HATE TO GIVE YOU NEWS LIKE THIS

TODAY OF ALL DAYS, BUT...

YOU'RE GOING TO FIND OUT ABOUT IT SOONER OR LATER.

FIND OUT ABOUT WHAT?

FIVE YEARS.

FIVE YEARS...FOR WHAT?

TO GET TOSSED OUT?

WE STILL GOT A WEEK TO GO.

MAYBE WE CAN COME UP WITH SOMETHIN'.

FIVE-FOOT-EIGHT--

WHAT DO THEY WANT, A BASKETBALL TEAM?

IT'S THE RECORD THAT COUNTS.

YOU DON'T GET A WATERPROOF WRISTWATCH

IF YOU'RE NOT DOIN' YOUR JOB.

MAYBE WE CAN THINK OF SOMETHIN'.

AW, FORGET IT!

THERE'S PLENTY OF THINGS THIS KID CAN DO.

AS MATTER OF FACT, YOU KNOW WHAT?

THEY JUST MIGHT BE DOIN' ME A FAVOR

BECAUSE I'VE BEEN KIND OF GETTIN' THE FEELING

THAT-THAT MAYBE I BEEN

SORT OF A... A RUNT AROUND HERE ANYWAYS.

WELL, IT ISN'T AS IF HE WASN'T CLOSE.

WHAT IS IT-- LESS THAN AN INCH?

FIVE OR SIX POUNDS?

I KNOW.

I COULD PUT THAT WEIGHT ON HIM IN A WEEK.

I KNOW YOU COULD, AUNT BEE,

BUT THERE'S NO WAY TO MAKE HIM ANY TALLER.

TALLER...

OH, THIS IS A SHAME.

YEAH, IT SURE IS.

AUNT BEE?

YOU 'MEMBER, UH...

REMEMBER WHEN OLD ASA BASCOMB

HAD THAT, UH, PINCHED NERVE SOMEWHERE IN HIS BACK?

YES, I REMEMBER. LAST YEAR.

YEAH.

AND DOC HARVEY GAVE HIM THIS HARNESS

THAT HE HAD TO WEAR AROUND HIS HEAD TO KIND OF STRETCH IT.

I BELIEVE IT HAD WEIGHTS ON IT.

MM-HMM, I REMEMBER.

I 'MEMBER ASA TELLIN' ME ONE TIME

THAT WHEN HE GOT THROUGH WITH THOSE TREATMENTS

HE WAS ACTUALLY OVER A HALF INCH TALLER.

ANDY...

WITH YOU FATTENIN' HIM UP A LITTLE...

I CAN DO IT, I KNOW I CAN DO IT.

AUNT BEE, YOU KNOW, WITH ME STRETCHIN' HIM

AND YOU FATTENIN' HIM UP,

BARNEY'S LIABLE TO TURN OUT TO BE A MUCH BIGGER FELLA

THAN HE THINKS HE IS.

ANDY, YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?

STRETCH ME? THE ANSWER'S NO!

A BIG DEFINITE NO!

BUT IT'S WORTH A TRY.

WELL, NOT WITH ME, IT ISN'T.

YOU'RE DEALING WITH A DELICATE MECHANISM.

IT'S CRAZY! THE WHOLE THING'S JUST CRAZY!

IT MIGHT WORK. AND THE FEW EXTRA POUNDS--

AUNT BEE'S COOKING'LL TAKE CARE OF THAT.

I ADMIT THAT PART'S POSSIBLE

BUT YOU START STRETCHING THE HUMAN BODY

AND SOMETHING INSIDE'S GOT TO GIVE

AND IT MIGHT BE SOMETHING IMPORTANT.

YOU JUST DON'T START PUSHING THEM THINGS AROUND INSIDE THERE.

THE DOCTOR WOULDN'T HAVE HAD ASA USE THE THING

IF THERE WAS ANY DANGER.

NOW, IT'S WORTH A TRY. THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS TRY.

I DON'T KNOW, ANDY, I JUST DON'T KNOW.

Aunt Bee: COME ON, BOYS!

SUPPER'S READY.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU SAY?

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

COME ON.

THERE WE ARE.

MM...MM.

THERE WE ARE.

WE WILL SERVE OUR GUEST FIRST.

YEAH. MM...MM.

A LITTLE CORN...

GONNA BE GOOD.

DO THE JOB, I EXPECT.

YEAH...

ROLL.

AND...

A LITTLE BUTTER.

YOU'VE DONE FINE, BARN.

SOME MORE POTATOES, BARNEY?

JUST A LITTLE BIT MORE?

THEN I'LL GET THE DESSERT--

BANANA CREAM CHOCOLATE PIE.

NO DESSERT?

OH, IT'D BE SO HELPFUL.

IT'S NOTHING BUT SUGAR AND STARCH.

HE'S DONE FINE, AUNT BEE.

I EXPECT YOU PICKED UP A POUND EASY.

I'M GONNA GO ON HOME.

OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.

ASA'S COMING OVER WITH THAT CONTRAPTION.

WE'LL START THE STRETCHING.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT STRETCHING BUSINESS, ANDY.

I MIGHT WIND UP WITH A HIGH STOMACH OR SOMETHING.

WELL, THAT'S JUST ABOUT THE SILLIEST-LOOKING THING

I BELIEVE I EVER SAW.

WELL, YOU SEE, BARNEY,

IT'S BASED ON A SOUND PRINCIPLE.

WHEN YOU'RE WALKING ON YOUR FEET ALL THESE YEARS,

YOUR BODY KIND OF SETTLES ON YOU

LIKE, UH, WELL, LIKE A CAKE.

I HAVEN'T FELT ANY SETTLING.

THAT'S RIGHT, YOU DON'T FEEL IT.

IT JUST HAPPENS. TO EVERYBODY.

NOW, WHAT THIS THING DOES --

THIS WEIGHT PULLS YOU BACK TO WHERE YOU WAS.

NOW, LET'S, UH, TRY IT.

TURN AROUND.

OH, YOU PUT IT IN THE BACK, HUH?

THAT'S RIGHT.

THIS THING GOES UNDER THE CHIN HERE.

OH, AND THIS HOOKS.

NOW RELEASE THE WEIGHT.

OKAY.

READY? HERE WE GO.

YOU'VE GOT TO KEEP A STIFF CHIN.

ONE THING HE'S GOT TO GET USED TO--

SOMETIMES THE PRESSURE BLOCKS UP HIS EARS.

WHAT?

YOU SEE?

BARN? YOU ALL RIGHT?

CAN YOU TAKE SOME MORE WEIGHT?

HMM.

WELL, THAT'S ABOUT IT, THEN.

JUST A MATTER OF DOING IT THREE OR FOUR HOURS EVERY DAY.

BARN, LISTEN...

I GOT TO GO DOWN TO THE OFFICE.

I'LL BE BACK AS QUICK AS I CAN.

AUNT BEE'LL LOOK IN ON YOU, OKAY?

AND DON'T FIGHT IT. DON'T FIGHT IT.

HEY, BARN?

IF YOU GO ANYWHERE, DON'T GO FAR.

I'M NOT LYING. HE'S HANGING HIMSELF.

I STILL DON'T BELIEVE IT.

WHY WOULD HE DO IT IN FRONT OF YOU?

YEAH, A THING LIKE THAT'S PRIVATE.

HE DOESN'T KNOW THAT I SAW HIM.

I CAME BACK FOR MY MILK MONEY

AND I SAW HIM THROUGH THE WINDOW.

WELL, DO YOU WANT TO SEE HIM OR NOT?

HERE'S MY NICKEL.

AND HERE'S MINE.

NOW, DON'T MAKE ANY NOISE.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE SUPPOSED

TO STAND ON A BUCKET OR SOMETHING

AND KICK IT OUT FROM UNDER YOU.

HE'S NOT HANGING HIMSELF.

HE IS, TOO. HE IS NOT.

HE IS, TOO.

WHY DON'T YOU GO IN THERE AND ASK HIM IF HE'S HANGING HIMSELF?

I'M NOT GONNA ASK HIM.

HE'S HANGING HIMSELF IN YOU HOUSE.

GET OUT OF HERE! WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?

DIDN'T YOU EVER SEE A PERSON WITH HIS HEAD IN A HARNESS?!

BARNEY?

Barney: THEL?

YES. IN HERE.

A LITTLE PRIVACY WITH THE DOOR CLOSED.

OH. BARNEY, I BROUGHT YOU SOMETHING I THINK YOU CAN HANDLE

EVEN WHILE YOU'RE WEARING THAT THING.

HERE.

HEY, WITH A STRAW. I NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT.

WHAT IS IT?

DOUBLE-RICH VANILLA MALTED WITH TWO RAW EGGS.

MMM.

BOY, THAT'S THICK.

OH, I'M SORRY. THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

IT'S GOOD PRACTICE FOR PUCKERIN', IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

OH, BARNEY, I JUST KNOW YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT.

YOU KNOW, THEL, I'M BEGINNING TO THINK SO MYSELF.

WELL, I GOT TO RUN. I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

OKAY. BYE-BYE. BYE.

BYE.

AAAAH!

THREE...

FOUR...FIVE...

FIVE-FOOT-EIGHT.

I WOULDN'T HAVE BELIEVED IT.

I JUST WOULDN'T HAVE BELIEVED IT.

FIVE-FOOT-EIGHT.

YOU SHOT RIGHT UP, DIDN'T YOU? YEAH.

WHOO!

AND YOU STILL GOT TWO DAYS

TO PUT ON THAT EXTRA POUND AND A HALF.

LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE HOME FREE.

IT SURE DOES.

WELL, LET'S GO PUT THE WEIGHT ON.

RIGHT. NO PROBLEM.

WELL, LET'S FACE IT.

THEY'RE JUST BEING SHORTSIGHTED.

THEY HAND DOWN THESE DIRECTIVES

WITHOUT GIVING ANY THOUGHT TO THE FINAL OUTCOME.

THEY COULD EASILY WIND UP WITH A LOT OF SIX-FOOTERS

WITH NO OTHER LAW ENFORCEMENT QUALIFICATIONS.

NO ABILITY TO COPE WITH THE PUBLIC,

WITH CRIME, WITH RIOTS...

RIGHT, AND?

RIGHT, BARN.

INSTEAD OF...

I'M SORRY, AUNT BEE.

INSTEAD OF CAREFULLY

EXAMINING THEIR PRESENT PERSONNEL

AND REALIZING WHAT THEY ALREADY HAVE, RIGHT, AND?

RIGHT, BARN.

NOW, I FEEL...

THE POINT I'M TRYING TO MAKE IS THAT I FEEL...

MAYBE IT'S FROM EATING SO MUCH THIS PAST WEEK.

HMM.

HOLD YOUR BREATH AND TAKE FIVE SIPS OF WATER.

IT WORKED.

NOTHING LIKE THEM OLD HOME REMEDIES.

I GUESS IT'S JUST ONE OF THOSE THINGS THAT'S GONNA HAVE TO RUN ITS COURSE.

YOU BETTER EAT YOUR FOOD BEFORE IT GETS COLD.

I CAN'T EAT MY FOOD IF I HAVE THE HICCUPS, AUNT BEE.

WELL, MAYBE YOU COULD EAT A LITTLE IN BETWEEN 'EM.

WELL, I'LL KEEP YOUR FOOD WARM.

IT CAN'T LAST MUCH LONGER.

SHERIFF'S OFFICE.

OH, HELLO, FLOYD.

YEP. STILL GOT 'EM.

MM-MM. WE TRIED THAT, FLOYD.

YEAH, WE TRIED THAT, TOO.

HMM.

HEY, BARN, DID YOU EVER TRY

INHALING IN FRONT OF A ELECTRIC FAN?

NO, AND I'M NOT GOING TO.

THAT'S JUST ANOTHER VERSION OF THE SAME THING.

NEVER MIND, FLOYD.

THANKS ANYWAY.

IT'S TOO LATE ANYWAYS.

WE GO INTO MT. PILOT TOMORROW.

YOU MIGHT AS WELL JUST LOOK FOR ANOTHER...

NO, NO, NO. NO, NO, NO.

WE STILL GOT 24 HOURS TO COME UP WITH SOMETHING.

SO YOU'RE DOWN TWO AND A HALF POUNDS?

WELL, YOU CAN'T EAT...

I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

MORNING, BARN.

HOW'S YOUR HICCUPS?

WELL, THEY'RE GONE.

THEY STOPPED LAST NIGHT.

GOOD.

I SEE YOU'RE ALL DRESSED UP.

WELL, I THOUGHT I'D WEAR THIS.

HMM.

I PAID FOR THE UNIFORM MYSELF, SO I'M GONNA KEEP THAT.

WELL, I WISH I COULD THINK OF SOMETHING.

WELL, WHAT'S THERE TO THINK OF?

LET'S FACE IT, WE TRIED EVERYTHING

AND NOTHING WORKED, SO THIS IS IT.

THE PART I WAS WORRIED ABOUT--

THE HEIGHT PART-- WE WHIPPED THAT.

HICCUPS ARE GONE. YOU COULD EAT AGAIN.

WELL, IT'S TOO LATE NOW, SO I MIGHT AS WELL FORGET IT.

HERE'S A WHISTLE YOU...

YOU MIGHT NEED SOME TIME.

YOU'LL GET A LOT OF DISTANCE OUT OF THAT.

THE PEA IS RIGHT SOLID IN THERE.

AND A...GOOD HEAVY CHAIN.

WELL...

WAIT A MINUTE.

I WAS JUST READING WHAT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO WEAR

AT THESE WEIGH-INS.

WELL, I READ THAT.

IT'S THE STANDARD OUTFIT AND THOSE SHOES.

YEAH.

IDENTIFICATION TAG AND CHAIN.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, AN OUNCE?

I'M TWO POUNDS OFF.

WAIT RIGHT HERE.

WAIT RIGHT HERE.

YOU'RE OKAY, HANSON.

MR. BRONSON, THIS IS BARNEY FIFE.

WELL, HOW ARE YOU, DEPUTY FIFE?

FINE.

WOULD YOU PLEASE STEP UP ON THE SCALE?

WELL, THIS LOOKS LIKE IT'S GOING TO BE, UH, CLOSE.

CONGRATULATIONS.

THANKS. YOU KNOW, I'M STILL SHAKING.

WELL, IT'S OVER.

I GOT TO HAND IT TO YOU. THIS WAS A STROKE OF GENIUS.

IT WAS JUST A PURE STROKE OF GENIUS.

JUST GOING BY THEIR OWN RULES.

LIKE IT SAID RIGHT IN THE DIRECTIVE--

YOU'RE ALLOWED TO WEAR YOUR IDENTIFICATION TAG AND CHAIN.

AIN'T IT AMAZING WHAT IT TAKES

TO HOLD UP ONE OF THEM LITTLE TAGS?

Andy: HEY, BARN?

YOU CAN SNAP HER BACK ON.

YOU KNOW, I REALLY FELT UNDRESSED WITHOUT IT.

YEAH.

I CALLED AUNT BEE TO GIVE HER THE GOOD NEWS.

OH, YOU KNOW, I REALLY APPRECIATED

ALL THE TROUBLE SHE WENT TO.

YEAH. SHE WANTS ME TO BRING YOU HOME TO SUPPER TONIGHT.

KIND OF CELEBRATE.

OH, THAT'LL BE NICE.

YOU KNOW, IT'LL BE A PLEASURE TO EAT FOOD WHEN I DON'T HAVE TO.

I'LL TELL HER YOU'RE COMING.

GOOD. I DON'T MIND TELLING YOU, I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD --

THANK HER ANYWAYS.