Original subtitles

STARRING ANDY GRIFFITH...

WITH RONNY HOWARD...

ALSO STARRING DON KNOTTS.

MISS CLETA.

MIGHTY PRETTY BLACK OILCLOTH COAT.

WELL, IT'S JUST FINE, MR. STERLING.

I THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE THIS ONE HERE --

THIS PARTICULAR ONE. OH, I DO.

I WONDER, THOUGH,

COULD I HAVE IT MADE JUST A LITTLE BIT SMALLER?

WELL, IF IT'S FOR ME, IT'S FINE.

I GOT FAT WRISTS.

HI, ANDY. HI, ANDY. HOWDY, FRED.

WHAT'S THAT?

OH, IT'S A GIFT FOR MY NIECE'S GRADUATION --

A CHARM BRACELET.

OH. THAT'S PRETTY.

OH, I WONDER, COULD YOU HAVE IT MADE A LITTLE SMALLER?

SURE. I'LL HAVE IT FOR YOU FRIDAY.

FINE. THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

SEE YOU, FRED. SEE YOU LATER.

HEY, LOOK HERE.

OH, YES.

YEAH, IT'S PRETTY. LOOKY THERE. MM-HMM.

WHY DO THEY HAVE TO BE UP TO ANYTHING, BARNEY?

WHY COULDN'T THEY JUST HAPPEN TO BE

IN THE JEWELRY STORE TOGETHER?

OH, COME ON, THELMA LOU,

PUT TWO AND TWO TOGETHER.

READ THE HANDWRITING ON THE WALL.

BLOW AWAY THE SMOKE AND LOOK AT THE FIRE.

BARNEY, YOU'RE ALWAYS THROWING YOUR EDUCATION IN MY FACE.

CAN'T HELP MYSELF.

I'M JUST A STUDENT OF HUMANITY.

GUESS THAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A SHARPLY HONED LAWMAN

AND JUST AN ORDINARY JERK WEARING A BADGE.

WILL YOU STOP BEING SO DRAMATIC

AND JUST TELL ME WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

WELL, I THINK THEY'RE GETTING ENGAGED.

NO. WELL, WHY NOT?

THEY WERE IN THE JEWELRY STORE TOGETHER,

AND HE WAS KISSING HER.

NOW, WHAT DO YOU THINK? I DON'T KNOW.

LOOK, I KNOW ANDY.

I KNOW ANDY BETTER THAN ANDY KNOWS ANDY.

NOW, HE WOULDN'T KISS ANYBODY OUT IN PUBLIC

UNLESS HE HAD BEEN HIT BY A TRANSPORT OF EMOTION.

THEY WERE BUYING A RING.

LAY MIND FINALLY BEGINS TO CLICK, HUH?

YOU KNOW, I-I'M GETTING GOOSE BUMPS

JUST THINKING ABOUT IT.

WELL, ALL I CAN SAY IS, IT'S ABOUT TIME.

I'VE GOT TO CALL HELEN AND SEE IF THEY SET A DATE.

NOW, WAIT A MINUTE!

NOW, IF THEY HAD WANTED US TO KNOW,

THEY'D HAVE SAID SOMETHING.

OBVIOUSLY, THEY WANT TO KEEP IT A SECRET.

I KNOW IT'S TOUGH FOR YOU, BEING A WOMAN,

BUT FOR HEAVEN'S SAKES, DON'T TELL ANYBODY.

I'M SO HAPPY FOR THEM.

I ALWAYS HOPED IT WOULD BE HELEN.

WELL, I KNEW IT WOULD HAPPEN SOONER OR LATER.

NOW, BE SURE AND DON'T TELL ANYBODY, AUNT BEE.

LET IT COME FROM THEM.

TAKE IT EASY, NOW, AUNT BEE.

I DIDN'T MEAN TO UPSET YOU.

THERE YOU GO.

COULDN'T HAPPEN TO TWO NICER PEOPLE.

OH, COME ON, AUNT BEE.

DARN SILLY WOMEN.

YOU CRY AT THE DROP OF A HAT.

GET A BIT OF NEWS ABOUT SOME LOVED ONE, YOU --

YOU WOMEN JUST COME APART.

ALL RIGHT, MELVIN. ALL RIGHT.

THAT I CAN UNDERSTAND.

WE ALL WANT PRIVACY FROM TIME TO TIME.

BUT THAT DOES NOT GIVE YOU THE RIGHT

TO PUT UP QUARANTINE SIGNS.

ACCORDING TO THEM SIGNS AT YOUR PLACE,

YOU GOT CHOLERA, YELLOW FEVER, AND THE BUBONIC PLAGUE.

YOU GOT YOUR NEIGHBORS SCARED TO DEATH.

WELL --

WELL, I CAN SYMPATHIZE WITH YOU,

BUT IF YOU DON'T WANT MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS

OR YOUR SEPTIC TANK PUMPED OUT,

THERE'S A SIGN THAT YOU CAN GET THAT SAYS,

"NO PEDDLERS OR AGENTS."

WELL, SURE THAT'LL APPLY TO SEPTIC-TANK PUMPERS.

SURE.

NOW TAKE DOWN THEM "DISEASED" SIGNS, MELVIN.

ALL RIGHT.

WE'LL APPRECIATE IT.

GOODBYE, MELVIN.

HEAR A GOOD ONE AT LUNCH, DID YOU?

WELL, IF IT'S THAT GOOD, TELL ME.

YOU KILL ME. YOU KNOW THAT?

YOU SON OF A GUN.

WELL, YOU GONNA TELL ME, OR AREN'T YOU?

WHAT YOU KNOW, I DON'T HAVE TO TELL YOU.

YOU SON OF A GUN.

TALK ABOUT OLD MR. TRANSPARENT.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

OH, I'VE SAID TOO MUCH ALREADY.

YOU DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING.

SHERIFF TAYLOR.

OH, HELLO, ARTHUR.

WAIT A MINUTE, ARTHUR.

BARNEY, GO OUT THERE

AND MAKE MELVIN TAKE DOWN THEM "DISEASED" SIGNS.

CHECK.

YOU KILL ME.

OH, THERE WE ARE.

ONIONS GETTIN' TO YOU?

NO, NO, IT'S NOTHING.

YOU DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO UPSET YOUR AUNT BEE, DID YOU?

OH, NO, PA. I'VE BEEN REAL GOOD LATELY.

MM.

YOU KNOW, I THINK SHE'S GOT ONE OF THOSE ALLERGICS.

ONE OF THOSE ALLERGICS?

YEAH, LIKE JOHNNY PAUL JASON HAS.

YOU SEE, AT A CERTAIN TIME OF THE YEAR,

THE BUMBLEBEES STAND ON THE FLOWERS.

THEY GET A LOT OF THIS FLOWER DUST ON THEIR LEGS.

THEN THEY SPREAD IT ALL THROUGH THE AIR.

NOW, THE PEOPLE WITH ALLERGICS BREATHE THIS RIGHT IN.

I GUESS 'CAUSE THEY JUST DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER.

WELL, ANYWAYS, THEY GET ALL PUFFY, AND THEIR EYES RUN WATER.

AND JOHNNY PAUL JASON HAS THIS?

UH-HUH.

DURING APRIL AND MAY, HE'S NOT ALLOWED TO BREATHE.

WELL, HE HAS TO BREATHE TO LIVE.

HE GETS BY SOMEHOW.

PA?

HUH?

I DON'T THINK THAT'S ALLERGIC.

I DON'T, EITHER.

AUNT BEE, UH, ANYTHING WRONG?

Aunt Bee: NO, NO, NOTHING'S WRONG.

PA, SHE'S CRYING.

I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.

I WASHED MY HANDS AND FACE.

I EMPTIED ALL THE DIRT OUT OF MY PANTS CUFFS.

MY LIZARD'S OUTSIDE IN THE LIZARD HOUSE.

WELL, I'VE SEEN WOMEN GO THROUGH THIS BEFORE, OPE.

THEY GO THROUGH SPELLS.

SEE, WOMEN ARE A LOT MORE SENSITIVE

THAN US MEN ARE.

LITTLE THINGS WILL SET THEM OFF.

SHE COULD HAVE HEARD A SONG ON THE RADIO TODAY

THAT REMINDED HER OF, OH...

A ROWBOAT RIDE OR A DANCE WHERE SHE MET SOMEBODY NICE --

THINGS LIKE THAT.

THEY WORK DIFFERENT. YEAH.

CERTAIN SOUNDS SET THEM OFF, SMELLS.

I BET IT'S THE LIVER.

SHE LOOKED AT THE LIVER

AND GOT REMINDED OF WHEN WE HAD LIVER LAST WEEK.

OH. TO MAKE LIVER ROMANTIC,

I THINK YOU MIGHT HAVE TO STRETCH IT A LITTLE BIT.

I GUESS I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND IT, PA.

WELL, WHEN YOU GROW UP,

YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND IT, EITHER,

SO DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

IT'S THE LIVER.

SHE LOOKED RIGHT AT IT AND CRIED.

WELL, GOODBYE, ETHEL. I'LL SEE YOU TOMORROW.

OKAY. BYE.

REMEMBER TO HAVE YOUR MOTHER PUT SOMETHING ON YOUR STY!

OH, HI!

OH!

WELL, WHAT IS IT?

I'M SO HAPPY.

WELL, THAT'S WONDERFUL.

HOW ABOUT WALKING DOWNTOWN WITH ME, HELEN?

I WANT TO TRY SOME LINEN SHOES.

OH, I DO NEED SOME STOCKINGS.

OH. NO, I'M GOING DOWN TO THE JEWELER'S ON FRIDAY.

I CAN PICK THEM UP THEN.

AND BESIDES, I HAVE PAPERS TO GRADE.

FRIDAY?

MM-HMM.

THE JEWELER'S?

YES.

OH!

WELL, I CAN GO TODAY

IF IT'S REALLY THAT IMPORTANT.

WELL, THAT SURE SURPRISED ME.

ANDY AND HELEN -- TWO OF A KIND.

GOMER, I TOLD YOU I WAS TRYING TO THINK.

WILL YOU PLEASE NOT TALK?

JUST PUT THE GAS IN, OKAY?

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT, BARNEY?

WELL, FRIDAY'S THE DAY,

AND I THINK WE OUGHT TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

WHAT YOU WANT TO STOP THEM FOR?

LET THEM GO AHEAD.

WHO SAID ANYTHING ABOUT STOPPING THEM?

WILL YOU JUST TEND TO THE CAR?

YOU KNOW, A PARTY.

I THINK WE OUGHT TO GIVE THEM A SURPRISE PARTY.

ANDY AND HELEN -- MY, OH, MY, OH, MY.

WELL, IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO.

WE COULD ASK PEOPLE TO CHIP IN

AND GIVE THEM A NICE GIFT.

YEAH. YEAH, AND WE COULD GET PEOPLE TO BRING, YOU KNOW,

POP AND SANDWICHES AND STUFF LIKE THAT.

LET'S DO IT, BARNEY.

IF WE DON'T, WE'LL FEEL AWFUL

ON THEIR 20th WEDDING ANNIVERSARY. YEAH.

NOW, MARTHA'S HAM, SARAH'S TURKEY...

SHOULD WE LET LILLIAN BRING SOMETHING?

NO! BARNEY!

WELL, SHE'LL BRING MEATBALLS,

AND THEY'RE ALWAYS TERRIBLE.

THEY'RE 1% MEAT AND 99% BREAD CRUMBS.

PUTS THEM IN THE OVEN, AND THEY VULCANIZE.

RIGHT. THELMA LOU, THEY'RE AWFUL.

AT THE NAYLORS' ANNIVERSARY PARTY,

WELL, THE GUESTS COULDN'T REFUSE THEM,

BUT THEY DIDN'T EAT THEM.

WE FOUND THEM IN POTTED PLANTS,

BETWEEN MAGAZINE COVERS, IN THE FIREPLACE.

JAMES MASEFIELD HAD THREE IN HIS MACKINAW POCKET

WHEN HE WENT HOME.

WE'LL ASK HER TO BRING ROLLS.

WELL, WHAT ABOUT THE GIFT, AUNT BEE?

GOT ANY IDEAS?

WELL, LET'S SEE.

THEY'RE GOING TO LIVE HERE, NATURALLY.

AND ANDY'S ROOM IS, UH...

NO.

NO, IT'D BE TOO MUCH.

WHAT

WELL, ANDY'S ROOM IS CERTAINLY NO PLACE

TO BRING A NEW BRIDE.

IT'S LIKE AN ELEPHANT'S NEST.

AND I WAS THINKING IF WE COULD PAINT IT AND PAPER IT

AND PUT UP NEW CURTAINS, AND A BED WITH A CANOPY...

OH, AUNT BEE, WHAT AN IDEA!

A BED WITH A CANOPY.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, A "CANOPY"?

ERROL FLYNN AND OLIVIA de HAVILLAND

IN "THE DASHING PRINCE"?

OH, OH. A BED WITH A FRINGE ON TOP.

OH, ANDY WOULD HATE THAT.

THAT'S SO...KISSY-LOOKING.

BUT IT WOULD BE SO FEMININE AND SO BEAUTIFUL.

WELL, IT'S HIS ROOM.

THE BEDROOM IS USUALLY DECORATED FOR THE BRIDE.

I'VE DREAMED OF A ROOM LIKE THAT ALL MY LIFE.

I THINK IT'S A WONDERFUL IDEA.

WELL, COME ON, NOW!

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE CRYING ABOUT?

A COVERED BED! A BED WITH A LID ON IT!

COME ON!

CUT IT OUT.

OH, MY, MY, MY. HELEN AND ANDY. YEAH.

ISN'T THAT ONE FOR YOU? HELEN AND ANDY.

WELL, YOU NEVER KNOW.

YEAH, IT WAS A SURPRISE TO ALL OF US.

LOOK, FLOYD, NOW, HERE'S YOUR CARD.

YOU JUST WRITE DOWN YOUR NAME

AND THEN MAYBE "SINCERELY" OR "GOOD LUCK"

OR WHATEVER IS YOUR INDIVIDUAL WONT.

AND THEN ON THIS, YOU PUT HOW MUCH AFTER YOUR NAME.

ALL RIGHT, "ANDY, HELEN, CONGRATULATIONS.

MAY ALL YOUR TROUBLES BE LITTLE ONES."

I JUST THOUGHT OF THAT.

IT JUST OCCURRED TO YOU. YEAH.

HERE, NOW. PUT HOW MUCH YOU'RE GIVING HERE.

RIGHT, RIGHT.

$3.75?

YOU ONLY GAVE ME $2, FLOYD.

WELL, ANDY OWES ME A $1.75 FOR A HAIRCUT.

THAT'S GOT NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

NOW HERE -- PUT DOWN $2.

ANDY AND HELEN.

YEAH, WELL, AIN'T IT THE TRUTH.

YOUR BARBER IS ALWAYS THE LAST ONE TO KNOW.

OH, IT'S GOING TO BE A DREAM.

AN ABSOLUTE DREAM.

HI, AUNT BEE.

OH! OH, BARNEY, THANK HEAVENS.

FOR A MINUTE, I THOUGHT IT WAS ANDY.

OH, DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT HIM.

HE'S GONNA BE BUSY DOWNTOWN ALL DAY.

I DROPPED A FILING CABINET DRAWER THIS MORNING.

OH, BARNEY, YOU'RE A DEVIL.

HE'S GOT "J" TO "Z" TO KEEP HIM BUSY.

WELL?

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE ROOM SO FAR?

WELL, IT'S GONNA BE A BOUDOIR, ALL RIGHT.

IS THE PAINT STILL WET? OH, MY, YES!

NOW DON'T TOUCH IT, WHATEVER YOU DO.

WELL, YEAH.

WELL, KEEP OPIE OUT OF HERE.

OH, HE'S LONG SINCE GONE.

I SENT HIM OVER TO THE BELFASTS' TO SPEND THE NIGHT.

THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

OH, AND DOES HE KNOW YET ABOUT, UH...

YOU-KNOW-WHO AND YOU

WHO AND WHO?

"A" AND "H." OH, NO.

I THOUGHT IT BEST THAT "A" TELL HIM HIMSELF.

YEAH, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

IT'S GONNA BE A BIG THING, HAVING "H" FOR AN "M."

I HOPE THE SURPRISE WORKS.

BARNEY, YOU HAVEN'T SLIPPED UP ON ANYTHING, HAVE YOU?

OH, COME ON, AUNT BEE, DON'T BE SILL.

SUBTERFUGE IS MY BUSINESS.

YOU'RE TALKING TO A MAN WHO KEPT A STRAIGHT FACE

LOOKING AT A CRIMINAL

WHILE ANDY CREPT UP BEHIND HIM WITH A CLUB.

GOODNESS. I DIDN'T HEAR ABOUT THAT.

WELL, YOU KNOW ANDY.

HE DON'T LIKE TO BRING HIS WORK HOME FROM THE OFFICE.

WHAT TIME IS EVERYBODY GETTING HERE TONIGHT?

OH, EIGHT BELLS. NOW, LOOK.

THELMA LOU AND I ARE GONNA MAKE LIKE WE'RE TAKING

HELEN AND ANDY OUT TO DINNER, SEE?

THEN WE'RE GONNA STALL THEM TILL IT'S TIME TO GET HERE.

OH, BARNEY, THAT'S CLEVER.

WELL, I CAN'T TAKE THE CREDIT FOR THINKING IT UP.

IT WAS A SUGGESTION ON THE OUTSIDE OF THE DECORATION BOX.

WELL, WHAT AM I DOING STANDING HERE?

I'VE GOT A MILLION THINGS TO DO.

YEAH.

HI, ANDY.

BARNEY, DON'T EVER PULL A FILE DRAWER OUT THAT FAR AGAIN.

WELL, I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT, FELLA.

IT WAS A DUMB MISTAKE,

AND I SHOULDN'T HAVE DONE IT.

I WISH YOU'D DEFEND YOURSELF SO I COULD GET MAD.

WELL, I'M SORRY, AND I WANT TO MAKE IT UP TO YOU,

SO THELMA LOU AND I ARE GONNA TAKE YOU AND HELEN

OUT TO DINNER TONIGHT.

WELL, IT WASN'T THAT BIG A THING.

OH, NO, IT WAS A BIG THING,

AND WE'RE TAKING YOU TWO TO DINNER!

WHAT ARE YOU GETTING SO UPSET ABOUT?

WELL, FOR PETE'S SAKE, BE GRACIOUS ENOUGH

TO ACCEPT MY APOLOGY FOR DOING SUCH A BIG, DUMB THING.

I ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO TAKE US OUT TO DINNER.

WILL YOU LET ME BE THE JUDGE

OF HOW BIG AN APOLOGY I OUGHT TO MAKE?

WELL, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. DON'T GET SO SHOOK UP.

I'M NOT SHOOK UP.

BETTER GO PUT ON MY SUIT.

UH, NO.

WHY NOT?

WELL, UH...

I WAS TALKING TO THE GIRLS,

AND THEY BOTH AGREED THAT, ONCE IN A WHILE,

THEY LIKE TO GO OUT WITH US IN UNIFORM.

HMM. HELEN'S NEVER MENTIONED THAT TO ME.

SHE WOULDN'T.

WHY NOT?

WELL, IT'S A WHIM.

ARE YOU GONNA QUESTION A WHIM?

QUESTION A WHIM, AND YOU TAKE THE FUN RIGHT OUT OF IT.

WELL, WILL IT KILL THE WHIM IF I JUST TAKE A SHOWER

AND PUT ON SOME CLEAN SOCKS AND UNDERWEAR?

WELL, SURE, IT WILL!

IT'S NOT A WHIM ANYMORE IF YOU PUT ON CLEAN UNDERWEAR.

WELL, I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT,

BUT I GUESS A FELLA SHOULDN'T QUESTION

WHEN HE'S GETTING A FREE SUPPER.

THAT'S RIGHT.

DON'T LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH.

CAN YOU LET ME HAVE $5?

HEAVEN.

OH!

OH, BEE, IT IS HEAVEN ON EARTH!

IT'S MY DREAM ROOM.

Gomer: HELLO? ANYBODY HERE?

OH, PEOPLE ARE COMING. WE BETTER GET DOWNSTAIRS.

LOVELY.

BEAUTIFUL.

HI, AUNT BEE! SURPRISE!

OH, GOMER, THE SURPRISE IS NOT FOR ME!

WELL, I WAS JUST PRACTICING.

WHAT TIME ARE THEY GONNA GET HERE?

8:00, SHARP.

BARNEY AND THELMA LOU

ARE PRETENDING TO TAKE THEM TO DINNER,

BUT THEY'RE JUST GONNA STALL UNTIL IT'S TIME.

WELL, WHERE DOES EVERYBODY WANT TO EAT?

UH, WELL, ANYPLACE IS FINE.

WELL, BARNEY, YOU'RE THE HOST.

YOU PICK A PLACE.

THELMA LOU?

ANY PLACE YOU SAY, BARNEY.

WELL, IT'S ALL SETTLED, THEN.

GOOD. WHERE WE GOING?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW YET.

HOW ABOUT THE DINER, AS LONG AS YOU DIDN'T WANT US TO DRESS UP?

HE DIDN'T WANT US TO DRESS UP?

NOW, DON'T PUT THAT OFF ON ME.

THAT WAS YOUR WHIM, REMEMBER?

OH, THAT'S RIGHT. IT WAS.

WELL, THE DINER'S FINE WITH ME. SURE.

GOOD. IT'S JUST DOWN THE STREET.

UH, NO. WHY?

WELL, UH, TODAY'S FRIDAY,

AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S ON THE MENU --

CATFISH CASSEROLE. UGH.

WELL, WE DON'T HAVE TO EAT THE SPECIAL.

NO, THEY GOT A LOT OF OTHER STUFF --

STEAKS, CHOPS, MACARONI SURPRISE.

WHAT MADE YOU SAY "SURPRISE"?

THAT'S WHAT THEY CALL IT ON THE MENU.

OH. WELL, LOOK, BARNEY, YOU JUST PICK A PLACE,

AND WE'LL ALL GO ALONG. SURE.

IS THAT ALL RIGHT WITH EVERYBODY?

WELL, OF COURSE. YOU'RE THE HOST AND EVERYTHING.

WELL, THAT'S IT, THEN.

WELL, WHERE YOU WANT TO GO?

I DON'T KNOW YET.

HELLO, DEAR! AUNT BEE.

HELLO, EVERYBODY.

OH, LILLIAN.

I-I TOLD YOU YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO BRING ANYTHING.

I KNOW, BUT I KNOW HOW EVERYBODY LOVES MY MEATBALLS.

YES.

WELL, THEN HOW ABOUT SPAGHETTI?

GOOD. EVERYBODY LIKES SPAGHETTI.

LET'S GET IN THE CAR. NO!

WHY?

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU WHY.

BECAUSE, FOR 30-SOME-ODD YEARS,

I'VE BEEN TRYING TO KEEP MY WEIGHT DOWN!

WHAT?! OH, BARNEY!

I DON'T LIKE SPAGHETTI, ANYWAY.

THELMA LOU, WE HAD SPAGHETTI FOR LUNCH LAST WEEK,

AND YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED IT.

A LOT OF PEOPLE LIE AT LUNCH. WHAT OF IT?

NOW, LISTEN. THIS IS HOW WE'LL WORK IT.

EVERYBODY WILL GO INTO THE KITCHEN,

AND WHEN I GIVE THE SIGNAL,

EVERYBODY COME OUT AND YELL, "SURPRISE!"

OH!

WHAT'S THE SIGNAL GOING TO BE? OH.

HOW ABOUT IF I GO OUTSIDE, AND WHEN I SEE 'EM COMING,

I'LL DO MY HOOT OWL?

OH, DO YOU DO A HOOT OWL?

OH, THAT'S GOOD! THAT'S GOOD.

THEN THAT'S SETTLED! THAT'S SETTLED!

THAT'LL BE OUR SIGNAL. GOMER WILL HOOT.

WELL, I'M STARVING.

DRIVE US OVER TO THE MARKET,

AND I'LL GO IN AND GET A LOAF OF BREAD AND SOME BOLOGNA.

LOOK, I'M JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT A DECENT PLACE TO EAT.

WELL, I'VE HAD IT. YOU DO WHAT YOU WANT TO.

DROP HELEN AND ME OFF AT MY HOUSE,

AND WE'LL GET SOMETHING OUT OF THE ICEBOX.

NO!

It's almost 8:00.

OKAY, WE'LL GO OVER TO YOUR HOUSE

AND GET SOMETHING OUT OF THE ICEBOX.

WELL, DO I GET MY $5 BACK?

AH!

B-B-BEE -- BEE!

OH!

ANDY! OH!

Aunt Bee: OH, ANDY! HOOT! HOOT!

OH!

SURPRISE! SURPRISE!SURPRISE!

WELL, WHAT'S GOING ON?

WHO'S THE SURPRISE FOR?

AW, COME ON, BUDDY!

IT'S NOT A SECRET ANYMORE. WE ALL KNOW.

YOU ALL KNOW WHAT?

THAT YOU'RE ENGAGED

AND YOU PICKED UP THE RING TODAY.

COME ON! COME ON, YOU TWO!

I'VE GOT SOMETHING TO SHOW YOU!

COME ON! COME ON!

AUNT BEE...

AUNT BEE, I CAN'T --

THIS IS YOUR PRESENT.

WE ALL CHIPPED IN AND HAD IT DONE TODAY.

AUNT BEE...

UH, FOLKS, WOULD YOU LISTEN TO ME FOR A MINUTE?

UH...

THERE'S, UH...

THERE'S BEEN A MISTAKE MADE.

I KNEW IT. I TOLD YOU HE WOULDN'T LIKE IT.

IT NEEDED MORE BROWN AND GREEN, AND --

BARNEY, BARNEY, HOLD IT JUST A SECOND.

UH, THIS IS ALL VERY NICE, BUT, UH...

WELL, HELEN AND I AREN'T ENGAGED.

WHAT? WHAT

WE NEVER EVEN TALKED ABOUT IT.

Woman: OH, HE'S GOT TO BE KIDDING.

WELL, WAIT A MINUTE!

I SAW YOU KISS HER IN THE JEWELRY STORE

RIGHT ON MAIN STREET!

YOU'RE ENGAGED!

YOU STOP KIDDING ME AND TELL ME YOU'RE ENGAGED.

BARNEY, WE WERE JUST BUYING A BRACELET FOR MY NIECE.

BARNEY FIFE, HOW COULD YOU DO IT?!

HOW COULD YOU DO IT?!

UH, F

HOLD IT, HOLD IT!

A PARTY'S A PARTY, ANYWAY, AND YOU'RE ALL HERE,

AND THERE'S PLENTY OF FOOD AND POP HERE AND EVERYTHING,

SO WHY DON'T WE ALL GO DOWNSTAIRS AND HAVE A GOOD TIME?

HUH? WHAT DO YOU SAY?

GO ON BACK DOWNSTAIRS.

WE'LL BE DOWN, A-AND WE'LL ALL HAVE SOME FUN.

PRETTY, ISN'T IT? MM-HMM.

IT'S A -- IT'S A LOVELY CHOICE OF COLORS.

UH, HELEN...

YES?

I-I'M SORRY ABOUT ALL THIS.

IT MUST BE PRETTY EMBARRASSING FOR YOU.

WELL, IT IS A LITTLE BIT.

AND I'M SURE IT IS FOR YOU, TOO, ANDY.

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING --

I'M GONNA BE CAREFUL WHEN I KISS YOU FROM NOW ON.

PEOPLE MUST THINK A LOT OF YOU TO GO TO ALL THIS TROUBLE.

WELL, YOU, TOO, YOU, TOO.

I WANT TO GET SOMETHING STRAIGHT.

YOU KNOW, A WHILE AGO,

WHEN I SAID THERE'S BEEN A MISTAKE MADE,

WELL, I MEANT FOR NOW THERE'S BEEN A MISTAKE.

OH, I UNDERSTAND, ANDY.

NO, LET ME -- LET ME SAY IT. LET ME SAY IT.

JUST FOR RIGHT NOW, THERE'S BEEN A MISTAKE MADE.

I MEAN, WHO KNOWS?

MAYBE SOMETIME, WE MIGHT WIND UP GETTING TOGETHER.

AND I'D BE HONORED.

WELL, I'M NOT READY NOW, EITHER, ANDY.

I...STUDIED FOR SO LONG,

AND I'D REALLY LIKE TO TEACH FOR A WHILE.

I EXPECT WE'LL BOTH KNOW WHEN WE'RE READY.

NOW THAT'S WHAT I'M GONNA DO.

YOU'LL ALL GET YOUR MONEY BACK,

AND AUNT BEE WILL GET THE ROOM SHE'S ALWAYS DREAMED OF.

NOW, COME ON! COME ON!

THERE'S PLENTY OF SANDWICHES AND POP AND EVERYTHING,

AND LET'S HAVE A GOOD TIME.

COME ON.

OH, ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL?

WHAT A DUMB TRICK.

THIS IS THE DUMBEST TRICK.

BARNEY, DON'T YOU EVER CALL ME DUMB AGAIN.

I KNOW.

WHAT A DUMB TRICK.

SWELL PARTY, BUT WHAT A DUMB TRICK.

NOW WAIT A MINUTE! HOLD IT DOWN!

ALL RIGHT, HOLD IT DOWN, PLEASE!

ALL RIGHT, PLEASE. QUIET! QUIET!

NOW, I HAVE SOMETHING I WANT TO SAY.

NOW, I'M SORRY, BUT I LOST THE LITTLE BOOK

WITH YOUR NAMES IN IT.

WELL, NOW, THAT'S OKAY!

WAIT! THAT'S OKAY!

THAT'S OKAY BECAUSE I'M JUST GONNA TAKE YOUR WORD

FOR HOW MUCH YOU GAVE.

NOW, IT'S GONNA WORK OUT JUST FINE.

THERE WILL BE NO ARGUMENTS,

AND I'LL JUST TAKE YOUR WORD, OKAY?

ALL RIGHT, FLOYD, YOU'RE FIRST.

I GAVE $3.75.

NO, FLOYD, YOU GAVE $2.

I DIDN'T COUNT THAT $1.75 FOR THE HAIRCUT.

$2 CASH AND $1.75 OWED.

WELL, I GAVE $3.

NO, YOU GAVE A $1. NO, $3! $3!

NOW WAIT A MINUTE!