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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,343 --> 00:00:13,347 STARRING ANDY GRIFFITH... 2 00:00:13,381 --> 00:00:15,616 WITH RONNY HOWARD... 3 00:00:15,649 --> 00:00:18,352 ALSO STARRING DON KNOTTS. 4 00:00:23,157 --> 00:00:24,758 SHERIFF TAYLOR? 5 00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:26,360 OH, MORNING, MISS BIGGS. 6 00:00:26,394 --> 00:00:28,396 I WON'T WASTE WORDS, SHERIFF, BUT I JUST HAD 7 00:00:28,429 --> 00:00:30,464 THE MOST FRIGHTENING EXPERIENCE OF MY LIFE. 8 00:00:30,498 --> 00:00:32,133 WHAT IN THE WORLD HAPPENED? 9 00:00:32,166 --> 00:00:33,501 I WAS DRIVING ALONG HIGHWAY 6 10 00:00:33,534 --> 00:00:35,269 WITHIN THE SPEED LIMIT OF 35 11 00:00:35,303 --> 00:00:37,838 WHEN A CAR DOING AT LEAST 45, 50, PASSED ME 12 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,373 AND ALMOST RAN ME OFF THE ROAD. 13 00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:40,808 ALMOST RAN ME OFF THE ROAD, SHERIFF. 14 00:00:40,841 --> 00:00:42,510 IT WAS GOING SO FAST. 15 00:00:42,543 --> 00:00:44,645 TAKE IT EASY, MISS BIGGS. LET'S GET ALL THE FACTS NOW. 16 00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:46,247 DID YOU GET HIS LICENSE NUMBER? 17 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:48,382 WELL, IT WAS A WOMAN. THAT'S WHAT IT WAS. 18 00:00:48,416 --> 00:00:50,184 IT WAS A WOMAN DRIVING THAT CAR. 19 00:00:50,218 --> 00:00:51,452 GOOD. GOOD. GOOD. 20 00:00:51,485 --> 00:00:53,454 NOW, WHAT ABOUT THE LICENSE NUMBER? 21 00:00:53,487 --> 00:00:56,090 SHE WAS WEARING A GREEN HAT TRIMMED WITH PINK BABY ROSES 22 00:00:56,124 --> 00:00:58,759 AND A BEIGE CLOTH COAT WITH BUTTONS WITH FUR. 23 00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:01,362 LIKE MY SISTER TILLY HAS ON HER JACKET. 24 00:01:01,395 --> 00:01:03,264 -NO, MA'AM. 25 00:01:03,297 --> 00:01:04,732 THE TALL WOMAN WITH THE LONG TEETH. 26 00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:07,601 YOU KNOW, THAT ALL STARTED WITH A GUM CONDITION. 27 00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:09,537 YOU KNOW HOW SHE GOT THAT GUM CONDITION? 28 00:01:09,570 --> 00:01:11,839 WELL, DADDY TOOK DOWN TO THIS DENTIST IN NASHVILLE, 29 00:01:11,872 --> 00:01:13,107 AND HE WASN'T ANY GOOD. 30 00:01:13,141 --> 00:01:14,508 HE WASN'T ANY GOOD AT ALL. 31 00:01:14,542 --> 00:01:16,810 HE HAD AN OFFICE IN THE BACK OF A STORE. 32 00:01:16,844 --> 00:01:18,379 NOW, WOULD YOU TRUST A DENTIST 33 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,680 THAT HAS AN OFFICE IN THE BACK OF A STORE? 34 00:01:19,713 --> 00:01:21,615 NO, MA'AM. NOW -- 35 00:01:21,649 --> 00:01:24,118 AND POOR TILLY, SHE'S BEEN SUFFERING ALL THESE YEARS 36 00:01:24,152 --> 00:01:25,586 WITH THESE LONG TEETH. 37 00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:27,288 YOU KNOW WHAT THEY USED TO CALL HER IN SCHOOL? 38 00:01:27,321 --> 00:01:28,589 NO, MA'AM. 39 00:01:28,622 --> 00:01:29,857 -THE BEAVER. -OH, I'M SORRY. 40 00:01:29,890 --> 00:01:31,792 NOW, WHAT ABOUT THIS WOMAN'S SPEED? 41 00:01:31,825 --> 00:01:33,627 OH, THE WAY THAT WOMAN DROVE. 42 00:01:33,661 --> 00:01:36,464 WHY, THERE OUGHT TO BE A LAW AGAINST THAT. 43 00:01:36,497 --> 00:01:38,699 THERE IS, MISS BIGGS. THERE IS. AND WE'LL -- 44 00:01:38,732 --> 00:01:40,501 IMAGINE WEARING A GREEN HAT AND A BEIGE COAT. 45 00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:41,669 SHE'S GOT TO BE INSANE. 46 00:01:41,702 --> 00:01:43,671 PEOPLE CAN'T DRIVE THESE DAYS. 47 00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:45,173 OH, BARNEY, I JUST HAD THE MOST FRIGHTENING EXPERIENCE 48 00:01:45,206 --> 00:01:46,440 OF MY LIFE. 49 00:01:46,474 --> 00:01:47,808 I'LL TELL HIM ABOUT IT, MISS BIGGS. 50 00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:49,410 IT WAS A WOMAN SPEEDER. 51 00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:50,878 SHE WAS WEARING A COAT LIKE MY SISTER TILLY, 52 00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:52,313 YOU KNOW, TILLY THE BEAVER. 53 00:01:52,346 --> 00:01:54,448 YES, MA'AM. THANK YOU FOR COMING. 54 00:01:54,482 --> 00:01:55,816 BYE. 55 00:01:55,849 --> 00:01:58,319 WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT? 56 00:01:58,352 --> 00:02:00,721 A SPEEDER UP ON HIGHWAY 6. 57 00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:02,523 OH, YEAH? 58 00:02:02,556 --> 00:02:04,192 WANT ME TO TAKE THE SQUAD CAR AND GET OUT ON THE STRETCH 59 00:02:04,225 --> 00:02:05,259 AND JUST TAKE A LOOK 60 00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:06,527 NO. I NEED THE CAR. 61 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,229 I GOT TO GO UP TO THE MILLSTONE FARM. 62 00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:10,264 YOU KNOW, THAT AIN'T THE FIRST COMPLAINT WE'VE HAD 63 00:02:10,298 --> 00:02:11,565 ABOUT THAT STRETCH ON HIGHWAY 6. 64 00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:12,933 WE OUGHT TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT. 65 00:02:12,966 --> 00:02:14,535 WHAT CAN WE DO? 66 00:02:14,568 --> 00:02:16,870 WE OUGHT TO HAVE A CONSTANT HIGHWAY PATROL, 67 00:02:16,904 --> 00:02:19,307 SOMEBODY TO REGULARLY CRUISE THE AREA. 68 00:02:19,340 --> 00:02:20,874 WELL, WE ONLY GOT THE ONE CAR. 69 00:02:20,908 --> 00:02:22,676 I'D BE GLAD TO DO IT. 70 00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:25,646 SET UP A CHECKPOINT, NIP THIS SPEEDING RIGHT IN THE BUD. 71 00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:27,581 YEAH, BUT WE JUST GOT THE ONE CAR. 72 00:02:27,615 --> 00:02:30,218 JUST A FEW MILES OUT, SET UP A CHECKPOINT CHICKIE, 73 00:02:30,251 --> 00:02:31,752 AND JUST NAIL THEM. 74 00:02:31,785 --> 00:02:34,622 BARNEY, ARE YOU LISTENING? WE'VE ONLY GOT ONE CAR. 75 00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:37,558 BOY, IT'S THE SAME THE WORLD OVER. 76 00:02:37,591 --> 00:02:40,394 POLICE DEPARTMENTS ARE THE LOWEST-BUDGETED 77 00:02:40,428 --> 00:02:42,830 UNDERDOG PUBLIC SERVANTS OF THEM ALL. 78 00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:44,632 BUT IT'S THANK YOU, JOHNNY SHAFTO, 79 00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,200 WHEN THE GUNS BEGIN TO SHOOT. 80 00:02:47,635 --> 00:02:51,205 WELL, WE DO THE BEST WE CAN. I'LL SEE YA. 81 00:03:02,283 --> 00:03:03,817 HI, OPE. 82 00:03:03,851 --> 00:03:05,419 HI, PA. 83 00:03:05,453 --> 00:03:07,555 WHERE IS BARNEY? 84 00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:08,722 I DON'T KNOW, PA. 85 00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:10,891 HE AIN'T BEEN HERE SINCE I COME IN. 86 00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:13,427 IS THAT THE WOOD-BURNING SET YOU GOT FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY? 87 00:03:13,461 --> 00:03:16,364 UH-HUH. 88 00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:18,566 -IN A MINUTE, PA. 89 00:03:18,599 --> 00:03:20,568 I'M JUST NOW COMING AROUND THE TOP OF MY "E." 90 00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:22,670 YOU'RE FILLING THE OFFICE WITH SMOKE. 91 00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:24,805 I'LL BE FINISHED IN JUST A MINUTE, PA. 92 00:03:24,838 --> 00:03:26,874 LOOK. 93 00:03:26,907 --> 00:03:29,277 I'M GONNA PUT MY NAME AND THE DATE ON HERE. 94 00:03:29,310 --> 00:03:31,645 AND YEARS FROM NOW WHEN WE'RE ALL DEAD AND GONE 95 00:03:31,679 --> 00:03:32,913 AND MAYBERRY IS A BIG CITY, 96 00:03:32,946 --> 00:03:34,882 PEOPLE WILL KNOW THAT I BURNED MY NAME 97 00:03:34,915 --> 00:03:36,950 INTO A PIECE OF WOOD ON THIS HERE DAY. 98 00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:38,786 HMM. 99 00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:41,955 WILL IT SAY YOU MADE YOUR PA'S EYES ALL RED AND IRRITATED? 100 00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:43,724 GEE, PA, I'M SORRY. 101 00:03:43,757 --> 00:03:46,327 YOU BETTER TAKE YOUR WOOD-BURNING WORK ON HOME, OPE. 102 00:03:46,360 --> 00:03:47,861 I GOT A LOT TO DO TODAY. 103 00:03:47,895 --> 00:03:48,996 -OKAY, PA. -THERE YOU ARE. 104 00:03:49,029 --> 00:03:50,498 -DON'T BURN YOURSELF. -I WON'T. 105 00:03:50,531 --> 00:03:52,600 OKAY. 106 00:03:56,036 --> 00:03:58,406 -HI, BARNEY. -HI, OPE. 107 00:03:59,707 --> 00:04:00,974 HI, BARNEY. 108 00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:07,981 I JUST GOT RID OF OPIE AND HIS TOYS. 109 00:04:08,015 --> 00:04:09,550 NOW HERE YOU COME WITH YOURS. 110 00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:10,951 WHAT IS ALL THAT JUNK? 111 00:04:10,984 --> 00:04:13,787 I WENT TO THE WAR SURPLUS AUCTION IN MT. PILOT. 112 00:04:13,821 --> 00:04:15,356 THIS IS ONLY PART OF IT. 113 00:04:15,389 --> 00:04:17,024 JUST WAIT TILL YOU SEE. WAIT TILL YOU SEE. 114 00:04:17,057 --> 00:04:18,826 BARNEY, I'M UP TO MY EARS IN WORK. 115 00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:21,529 COME ON. COME ON OUTSIDE. I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING. 116 00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:23,731 COME ON. COME ON. COME ON. 117 00:04:23,764 --> 00:04:26,800 WHAT DO YOU GOT OUT THERE? MORE JUNK? 118 00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:29,403 WILL YOU RESERVE JUDGMENT JUST THIS ONE TIME? 119 00:04:29,437 --> 00:04:30,771 WILL YOU RESERVE JUDGMENT? 120 00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:34,875 ALL RIGHT, MEN! MOVE IT AWAY FROM THERE! 121 00:04:34,908 --> 00:04:36,544 COME ON! LET'S GO! BREAK IT UP! 122 00:04:36,577 --> 00:04:38,979 COME ON! 123 00:04:39,012 --> 00:04:41,482 WHAT IN THE WORLD IS THAT? 124 00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:43,717 IS THIS THE ANSWER TO OUR PROBLEMS OR ISN'T IT? 125 00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:45,319 HUH? 126 00:04:45,353 --> 00:04:47,588 THIS MECHANICALLY PERFECT RJ 300 MOTORCYCLE -- 127 00:04:47,621 --> 00:04:49,757 THAT'S OFFICIAL ARMY NOMENCLATURE -- 128 00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:51,759 IS, AS OF NOW, AN OFFICIAL PART 129 00:04:51,792 --> 00:04:54,094 OF THE MAYBERRY SHERIFF DEPARTMENT'S ROLLING STOCK. 130 00:04:55,829 --> 00:04:57,498 NOW I CAN COVER HIGHWAY 6. 131 00:04:57,531 --> 00:04:59,967 YOU KNOW, NAIL THEM SPEEDERS, CHECKPOINT CHICKIE. 132 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,502 NOW WAIT A MINUTE. 133 00:05:01,535 --> 00:05:02,936 YOU SAID YOURSELF WE DON'T PATROL ENOUGH 134 00:05:02,970 --> 00:05:04,905 BECAUSE WE ONLY HAVE THE ONE SQUAD CAR. 135 00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:06,674 I KNOW. 136 00:05:06,707 --> 00:05:09,076 WITH YOU BUSY WITH THE SQUAD CAR ON THE OTHER SIDE OF TOWN, 137 00:05:09,109 --> 00:05:10,711 -I CAN COVER HIGHWAY 6. -BARNEY. 138 00:05:10,744 --> 00:05:12,413 TO SAY NOTHING OF THE OTHER ODD JOBS 139 00:05:12,446 --> 00:05:14,014 THAT CAN BE TAKEN CARE OF AROUND TOWN. 140 00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:16,116 WHAT'S THE SIDECAR FOR? 141 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:17,785 ARE YOU KIDDING? 142 00:05:17,818 --> 00:05:20,087 THAT'S TO CARRY FIRE-FIGHTING EQUIPMENT, 143 00:05:20,120 --> 00:05:21,655 GUNS AND AMMUNITION. 144 00:05:21,689 --> 00:05:23,791 ROOM FOR ANOTHER DEPUTY IN CASE OF A RAID. 145 00:05:23,824 --> 00:05:26,860 GOING BACK AND FORTH TO THE STORE. 146 00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:28,529 UH-HUH. 147 00:05:28,562 --> 00:05:30,063 BESIDES, THAT'S THE WAY IT CAME. 148 00:05:30,097 --> 00:05:31,899 WELL, BARNEY, I DON'T THINK -- 149 00:05:31,932 --> 00:05:35,469 LOOK, I PROMISE I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE A BIG THING OUT OF THIS. 150 00:05:35,503 --> 00:05:37,938 IT'S JUST AN EXTRA VEHICLE TO GET ME AROUND 151 00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:39,840 WHEN YOU'RE BUSY WITH THE SQUAD CAR. 152 00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:42,643 NO FUSS. NO BIG DEAL. 153 00:05:42,676 --> 00:05:45,345 YOU WON'T EVEN KNOW I'M IN TOWN. 154 00:05:48,816 --> 00:05:50,984 I'LL KNOW ALL RIGHT. 155 00:06:12,172 --> 00:06:14,742 GET A HORSE, BARNEY. 156 00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:16,810 OH, WHY DON'T YOU... 157 00:06:25,753 --> 00:06:27,888 MOUNTED PATROL CHECKING IN. 158 00:06:30,858 --> 00:06:33,727 WELL, HOW YOU DOING, BARON VON RICHTHOFEN? 159 00:06:33,761 --> 00:06:35,529 COME ON, ANGE. 160 00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:38,566 I CAN EXPECT THAT FROM THEM IGNORANT LAYPERSONS OUTSIDE 161 00:06:38,599 --> 00:06:39,800 BUT NOT FROM YOU. 162 00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:42,670 WELL, YOU GOT TO ADMIT THAT THAT OUTFIT 163 00:06:42,703 --> 00:06:45,773 AIN'T EXACTLY WHAT YOU CALL INCONSPICUOUS. 164 00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:47,174 DO YOU HAVE TO WEAR ALL THAT? 165 00:06:47,207 --> 00:06:49,977 ANDY, EVERY PIECE OF EQUIPMENT AND WARDROBE 166 00:06:50,010 --> 00:06:51,612 HAS A SPECIFIC FUNCTION. 167 00:06:51,645 --> 00:06:52,880 HELMET -- ANTI-CRASH. 168 00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:55,516 GOGGLES -- ANTI-FOREIGN OBJECTS IN EYES. 169 00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:57,084 THAT IS, GRAVEL AND/OR BUGS. 170 00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:59,620 I SEE. 171 00:06:59,653 --> 00:07:02,155 WHAT'S THEM LEATHER GAUNTLETS FOR? 172 00:07:02,189 --> 00:07:04,558 TO PROTECT YOU FROM DOGS THAT THINK YOU LOOK FUNNY? 173 00:07:09,963 --> 00:07:12,065 I'M SORRY, BARNEY. I'M SORRY. 174 00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:14,635 I GUESS ALL THAT STUFF IS NECESSARY 175 00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:17,137 ON A HIGH-SPEED MOTORCYCLE LIKE THAT. 176 00:07:17,170 --> 00:07:19,673 GOOD-LOOKING HELMET. 177 00:07:19,707 --> 00:07:22,643 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 178 00:07:22,676 --> 00:07:24,478 WHAT DO YOU THINK? 179 00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:32,119 DON'T WEAR MY HAT, ANGE. 180 00:07:32,152 --> 00:07:33,854 WHAT? 181 00:07:33,887 --> 00:07:35,188 DON'T WEAR MY HAT. 182 00:07:35,222 --> 00:07:37,758 WELL, I WAS JUST TRYING IT ON. 183 00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,026 I CAN'T STAND TO WEAR A HAT 184 00:07:39,059 --> 00:07:41,094 AFTER IT'S BEEN ON SOMEBODY ELSE'S HEAD. 185 00:07:41,128 --> 00:07:43,597 OH. I'M SORRY. 186 00:07:43,631 --> 00:07:44,898 MY MOTHER WAS THE SAME WAY. 187 00:07:44,932 --> 00:07:46,233 SHE JUST COULDN'T STAND TO WEAR A HAT 188 00:07:46,266 --> 00:07:48,035 AFTER IT'S BEEN ON SOMEBODY ELSE'S HEAD. 189 00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:50,170 I REMEMBER THAT ABOUT YOUR MOTHER. 190 00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:53,173 I JUST WANTED A FEW DAYS TO PROVE TO YOU 191 00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:55,643 HOW VALUABLE THIS MOTORCYCLE CAN BE TO US. 192 00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:58,812 YEAH, WELL, ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. 193 00:07:58,846 --> 00:08:01,281 TO SHOW YOU THERE'S NO HARD FEELINGS, 194 00:08:01,314 --> 00:08:04,818 I'LL TELL WHAT YOU I'LL DO, I'LL TAKE YOU TO LUNCH. 195 00:08:04,852 --> 00:08:06,587 -TELL WHAT YOU I'LL DO -- -NO, NO, NO, NO. 196 00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:09,657 -I'LL GET THE TIP, TOO. -THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT. 197 00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:11,925 -I'M GOING TO DRIVE US THERE. -NO, YOU'RE NOT. 198 00:08:11,959 --> 00:08:15,696 BIG FELLOW, YOU'RE GOING SIDECAR EXPRESS TO THE DINER. 199 00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:17,631 WELL -- 200 00:08:20,568 --> 00:08:21,969 OH. 201 00:08:22,002 --> 00:08:23,103 WHAT'S THE MATTER? 202 00:08:23,136 --> 00:08:25,072 I DON'T KNOW. I JUST -- 203 00:08:25,105 --> 00:08:29,142 I DON'T HAVE A JACKET OR A HELMET OR GOGGLES OR ANYTHING. 204 00:08:29,176 --> 00:08:31,779 YOU'LL BE IN THE SIDECAR. WHO'S GONNA KNOW? 205 00:08:36,950 --> 00:08:39,587 -HOWDY, BOYS. -HI, SHERIFF. 206 00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:43,023 HEY. THAT'S NICE SIGN WORK. 207 00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:45,125 CHARLIE PHELPS COPIED IT OFF THE SQUAD CAR. 208 00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:46,727 THAT'S GOOD. 209 00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,862 SAY, SHERIFF, IF YOU FILL IT UP WITH WATER, 210 00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:50,864 YOU CAN TAKE A BATH ALONG THE WAY. 211 00:08:50,898 --> 00:08:53,634 I GUESS SO. 212 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:02,342 YOU READY?! 213 00:09:02,375 --> 00:09:04,177 LET HER RIP! 214 00:09:19,927 --> 00:09:22,863 ALL RIGHT! BEAT IT! BEAT IT! 215 00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:25,165 I'M WITHIN MY RIGHTS TO GIVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU 216 00:09:25,198 --> 00:09:27,100 A TICKET FOR LOITERING, ILLEGAL ASSEMBLY, 217 00:09:27,134 --> 00:09:28,936 AND TAMPERING WITH OFFICIAL EQUIPMENT. 218 00:09:28,969 --> 00:09:31,304 NOW BREAK IT UP AND BEAT IT! GO ON! 219 00:09:33,841 --> 00:09:34,975 BARNEY? 220 00:09:35,008 --> 00:09:36,109 NO-GOOD LOAFERS. 221 00:09:36,143 --> 00:09:37,845 BARNEY, IF YOU KEEP THIS CYCLE, 222 00:09:37,878 --> 00:09:40,213 I'M AFRAID YOU'RE IN FOR A LOT MORE OF THAT. 223 00:09:40,247 --> 00:09:43,016 NOW, WHY DON'T YOU MAKE LIFE EASIER FOR YOU AND ME 224 00:09:43,050 --> 00:09:44,284 AND JUST GET RID OF IT? 225 00:09:44,317 --> 00:09:45,853 NO! 226 00:09:45,886 --> 00:09:47,821 EVERY THINKING PIONEER AND INVENTOR 227 00:09:47,855 --> 00:09:49,923 HAS SUFFERED THE SAME KIND OF RIDICULE. 228 00:09:49,957 --> 00:09:52,225 IT'S RIGHT THERE IN YOUR HISTORY BOOKS, ANDY. 229 00:09:52,259 --> 00:09:53,827 TAKE ALEXANDER GRAHAM BELL, 230 00:09:53,861 --> 00:09:56,163 PEOPLE LAUGHED AT HIM RIGHT OVER THE TELEPHONE. 231 00:09:56,196 --> 00:09:58,031 WILBUR AND ORVILLE. 232 00:09:58,065 --> 00:10:00,033 PEOPLE PRACTICALLY LAUGHED THEM RIGHT OFF WRIGHT AIR FORCE BASE. 233 00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:03,370 THEY HAVE TO BE SHOWN! 234 00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:05,072 BARNEY? 235 00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,908 DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND JUST GET RID OF IT NOW. 236 00:10:07,941 --> 00:10:10,678 ANDY, YOU PROMISED. YOU PROMISED. 237 00:10:10,711 --> 00:10:14,114 ALL RIGHT. I PROMISED. 238 00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:16,917 BUT DON'T SPEND TOO MUCH TIME IN TOWN. 239 00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,652 GO WAY OUT ON HIGHWAY 6 240 00:10:18,686 --> 00:10:20,988 AND LOOK FOR A GREEN HAT WITH PINK ROSES ON IT. 241 00:10:21,021 --> 00:10:22,823 MOUNTED PATROL, WILCO AND OUT. 242 00:10:22,856 --> 00:10:24,357 WE'RE NOT TALKING ON THE RADIO. 243 00:10:24,391 --> 00:10:26,193 WELL, WE'RE GOING TO GET ONE ONE OF THESE DAYS. 244 00:10:26,226 --> 00:10:27,961 I'M GOING TO ANOTHER AUCTION NEXT WEEK. 245 00:10:27,995 --> 00:10:30,898 WELL, UNTIL WE DO, HOW ABOUT JUST SAYING, "OKAY, ANDY"? 246 00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:31,999 10-4. 247 00:10:56,924 --> 00:10:58,692 WHAT'S WRONG? 248 00:10:58,726 --> 00:11:00,260 LET ME SEE YOUR OPERATOR'S LICENSE, PLEASE. 249 00:11:00,293 --> 00:11:01,428 WHAT DID I DO? 250 00:11:01,461 --> 00:11:03,296 OPERATOR'S LICENSE. 251 00:11:06,233 --> 00:11:08,802 EDGAR J. MASTERS, HUH? 252 00:11:08,836 --> 00:11:11,872 NOW WILL YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHAT I DID WRONG? 253 00:11:11,905 --> 00:11:15,008 WELL, EDDIE, I WATCHED YOU DOING 40 MILES PER HOUR 254 00:11:15,042 --> 00:11:16,343 IN A 35-MILE ZONE. 255 00:11:16,376 --> 00:11:18,178 NOW, SUBTRACTING THE LATTER FROM THE FORMER, 256 00:11:18,211 --> 00:11:20,013 THAT WOULD LEAVE YOU WITH A VIOLATION 257 00:11:20,047 --> 00:11:21,481 OF ABOUT 5 MILES PER HOUR, RIGHT? 258 00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,116 RIGHT. I CAN'T DENY THAT. 259 00:11:23,150 --> 00:11:24,985 BUT WE'VE ALWAYS HAD AN UNDERSTANDING ABOUT IT. 260 00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:27,788 WE NEED THAT EXTRA 5 MILES AN HOUR TO GET OVER TURNER'S GRADE. 261 00:11:27,821 --> 00:11:29,757 -UH-HUH. -WELL, I'LL TELL YOU, EDDIE, 262 00:11:29,790 --> 00:11:32,960 I LET DO YOU 40 TODAY, YOU'LL DO 45 TOMORROW. 263 00:11:32,993 --> 00:11:36,229 I LET DO YOU 45 TOMORROW, YOU DO 50 THE DAY AFTER THAT. 264 00:11:36,263 --> 00:11:38,031 YOU DO 50 THE DAY AFTER THAT, 265 00:11:38,065 --> 00:11:40,433 YOU'LL DO 55 THE DAY AFTER THAT. 266 00:11:40,467 --> 00:11:42,269 THEN IF YOU CAN DO 55 -- 267 00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:44,404 ALL RIGHT. I GET THE IDEA. 268 00:11:44,437 --> 00:11:46,406 WELL, THIS IS INTENDED AS A WARNING. 269 00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:49,209 DON'T LET IT HAPPEN AGAIN OR YOU MIGHT RISK A CITATION. 270 00:11:49,242 --> 00:11:51,745 THIS IS MERELY TO LET YOU KNOW THAT FROM NOW ON 271 00:11:51,779 --> 00:11:53,847 THIS ROAD IS UNDER CONSTANT SURVEILLANCE. 272 00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:55,983 -YES, SIR. -OKAY, EDDIE, MOVE HER OUT. 273 00:11:56,016 --> 00:11:58,919 WAIT! HOLD IT! 274 00:12:06,059 --> 00:12:08,796 WELCOME TO CHECKPOINT CHECKIE. 275 00:12:14,835 --> 00:12:16,136 HEY, BARN. 276 00:12:16,169 --> 00:12:18,005 ANGE. 277 00:12:22,175 --> 00:12:24,377 MOUNTED PATROL CHECKING IN. 278 00:12:24,411 --> 00:12:27,014 HMM. 279 00:12:27,047 --> 00:12:29,282 YOU KNOW, ANGE, IT'S A GREAT FEELING 280 00:12:29,316 --> 00:12:31,118 WHEN YOU GET OUT ON THAT CYCLE 281 00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:33,153 AND GO RACING DOWN THE HIGHWAY. 282 00:12:33,186 --> 00:12:37,090 YOU KNOW, IT'S JUST ME AND THE WIND AND THE WHEEL. 283 00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:38,926 IT'S REALLY SOMETHING. 284 00:12:41,261 --> 00:12:43,063 YOU KNOW SOMETHING I FOUND OUT? 285 00:12:43,096 --> 00:12:45,866 IF YOU RIDE INTO THE WIND WITH YOUR MOUTH OPEN 286 00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:48,969 AND YOU PUT YOUR TONGUE UP ON THE ROOF OF YOUR MOUTH, 287 00:12:49,002 --> 00:12:50,537 IT'S IMPOSSIBLE 288 00:12:50,570 --> 00:12:52,439 TO PRONOUNCE A WORD THAT STARTS WITH THE LETTER "S." 289 00:12:56,977 --> 00:13:00,547 YOU DIDN'T LET ANYBODY SEE YOU RIDING AROUND ON THAT THING 290 00:13:00,580 --> 00:13:02,149 WITH YOUR MOUTH OPEN? 291 00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:06,386 NOBODY SAW ME. YOU THINK I'M CRAZY OR SOMETHING? 292 00:13:06,419 --> 00:13:08,088 WHERE YOU BEEN? 293 00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:10,290 I WAS OUT ON HIGHWAY 6. 294 00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:13,160 GAVE OUT 11 SPEED WARNINGS. 295 00:13:13,193 --> 00:13:15,128 WHO IS DOING ALL THE SPEEDING? 296 00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:16,830 -EL TRUCKOS. 297 00:13:16,864 --> 00:13:19,432 YEAH, EVERY ONE OF THEM WAS EXCEEDING SET SPEED LIMIT 298 00:13:19,466 --> 00:13:21,534 BY FROM 3 TO 5 MILES PER HOUR. 299 00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:23,036 I WARNED THEM. 300 00:13:23,070 --> 00:13:26,173 I WISH YOU HADN'T DONE THAT. 301 00:13:26,206 --> 00:13:28,441 ANDY, I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GONNA SAY -- 302 00:13:28,475 --> 00:13:31,578 "GIVE THEM THE EXTRA 5. LET THEM GO 40 IN A 35 ZONE." 303 00:13:31,611 --> 00:13:34,214 BUT YOU AND I BOTH KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN. 304 00:13:34,247 --> 00:13:37,317 YOU GIVE THEM 40, THEY'LL GO 45. YOU GIVE THEM 45 -- 305 00:13:37,350 --> 00:13:40,053 BARNEY, IT'S JUST THAT TRUCK DRIVERS HAVE A LITTLE TROUBLE 306 00:13:40,087 --> 00:13:41,288 GETTING OVER TURNER'S GRADE 307 00:13:41,321 --> 00:13:43,090 IF THEY DON'T GET A FAIR RUN AT IT. 308 00:13:43,123 --> 00:13:45,893 NOW, WE'VE ALWAYS TAKEN THAT INTO CONSIDERATION. 309 00:13:45,926 --> 00:13:48,896 I WISH YOU HADN'T JUMPED ALL OVER THEM WITH WARNINGS. 310 00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:52,199 ANDY, THAT STRETCH OF HIGHWAY IS POSTED WITH BIG 35s. 311 00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:55,635 NOW, IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO UPHOLD THE LAW, JUST SAY SO. 312 00:13:55,668 --> 00:13:57,604 NO. NO. IT'S JUST THAT I -- 313 00:13:57,637 --> 00:14:00,273 WELL, I WISH YOU'D DO THINGS IN MODERATION. 314 00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:03,610 NOW, WE'VE ALWAYS GIVEN THE TRUCK DRIVERS THE EXTRA 5 MILES. 315 00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:06,279 AND I WISH THAT YOU'D JUST GIVE IT TO THEM. 316 00:14:06,313 --> 00:14:08,581 ALL RIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN? 317 00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:10,951 YOU GIVE THEM 40, THEY'LL TAKE 45. 318 00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:12,552 YOU GIVE THEM 45, THEY'LL -- 319 00:14:28,668 --> 00:14:30,070 PA? 320 00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:31,905 HUH? 321 00:14:31,939 --> 00:14:33,140 YOU ASLEEP? 322 00:14:33,173 --> 00:14:36,376 NOW AND THEN. 323 00:14:36,409 --> 00:14:38,378 -ME TOO. -ANDY. 324 00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:40,580 THOSE TRUCKS ARE GOING TO KEEP THE WHOLE TOWN AWAKE. 325 00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:42,615 I EXPECT SO, AUNT BEE. 326 00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:45,218 THEY SURE ARE MAKING A TERRIBLE LOT OF NOISE, PA. 327 00:14:45,252 --> 00:14:47,020 HOW COME? 328 00:14:47,054 --> 00:14:49,156 I HAVE A FEELING IT'S THEIR WAY OF SAYING HELLO TO BARNEY 329 00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:50,323 AND HIS NEW MOTORCYCLE. 330 00:14:50,357 --> 00:14:52,059 GOODNESS. 331 00:14:52,092 --> 00:14:55,228 YEP. I EXPECT THINGS ARE GOING TO BE A LITTLE DIFFERENT 332 00:14:55,262 --> 00:14:56,529 FOR THE NEXT FEW DAYS. 333 00:14:59,399 --> 00:15:01,201 GOOD NIGHT, ANDY! 334 00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:12,079 YEAH, I EXPECT THINGS ARE GONNA BE A LITTLE DIFFERENT. 335 00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:55,088 GIVE ME THAT STICK! GIVE ME THAT STICK! 336 00:16:00,193 --> 00:16:02,095 DON'T YOU KNOW ENOUGH TO STICK YOUR HAND OUT 337 00:16:02,129 --> 00:16:03,263 WHEN YOU MOVE OUT IN TRAFFIC? 338 00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:04,431 WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU? 339 00:16:08,501 --> 00:16:10,370 WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?! 340 00:16:10,403 --> 00:16:12,372 JAYWALKING. YOU WERE JAYWALKING, AUNT BEE. 341 00:16:12,405 --> 00:16:14,007 NOW, I SEEN YOU. NOW WATCH IT. 342 00:16:14,041 --> 00:16:16,276 JAYWALKING?! 343 00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:22,249 HOLD IT! HOLD IT! 344 00:16:22,282 --> 00:16:23,350 NOW WE'RE NOT GOING TO GET ANYWHERE 345 00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:24,717 IF EVERYBODY TALKS AT ONCE. 346 00:16:24,751 --> 00:16:27,320 ANDY, YOU JUST GOT TO DO SOMETHING. YOU GOT TO. 347 00:16:27,354 --> 00:16:29,522 THAT BARNEY IS MAKING OUR LIFE MISERABLE 348 00:16:29,556 --> 00:16:31,491 SINCE HE GOT THAT DARN MOTORCYCLE. 349 00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:33,793 HE'S GONNA KILL SOMEBODY ONE OF THESE DAYS. 350 00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:36,329 HE'S A MENACE, ANDY. A MENACE. 351 00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:38,331 NOW WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT! 352 00:16:40,200 --> 00:16:42,635 THERE GOES THAT PHANTOM DEPUTY. 353 00:16:42,669 --> 00:16:43,703 WELL, DO SOMETHING. 354 00:16:45,138 --> 00:16:47,507 Y'ALL GO ON HOME. 355 00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:49,409 I'LL TAKE CARE OF THE MOTORCYCLE. 356 00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:52,412 GO ON. OH, JAY, GO ON HOME. 357 00:16:53,480 --> 00:16:56,216 ANDY, YOU GOT TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT BARNEY. 358 00:16:56,249 --> 00:16:57,584 I KNOW, AUNT BEE. 359 00:16:57,617 --> 00:16:59,786 LET ME HELP YOU HOME WITH YOUR GROCERIES. 360 00:16:59,819 --> 00:17:02,255 ANDY, THIS HAS GONE WAY BEYOND -- 361 00:17:02,289 --> 00:17:04,624 WILL YOU STOP TELLING ME TO TAKE IT EASY? 362 00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:06,693 YOU GOT TO TAKE IT AWAY FROM HIM. 363 00:17:06,726 --> 00:17:10,130 YOU KNOW THAT HE NEARLY RAN ME OVER WITH THAT SILLY THING? 364 00:17:10,163 --> 00:17:14,734 YOU KNOW, I'M IN MIND TO TAKE THE MOTORCYCLE AWAY FROM HIM 365 00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:17,204 AND LEAVE HIM WITH A SIDECAR 366 00:17:17,237 --> 00:17:18,471 AND FILL IT UP WITH SAND 367 00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:19,839 AND GIVE HIM A BUCKET AND A SHOVEL 368 00:17:19,872 --> 00:17:21,608 AND LET HIM PLAY IN IT ON WEEKENDS. 369 00:17:21,641 --> 00:17:24,711 YOU KNOW, I SAW IN A WAR PICTURE ONCE 370 00:17:24,744 --> 00:17:28,548 THESE NAZIS RIDING AROUND ON THEIR MOTORCYCLES. 371 00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:33,120 AND THESE GUERILLAS STRUNG A WIRE ACROSS THE ROAD SO HIGH 372 00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:36,423 AND WHEN THESE NAZIS CAME ROARING THROUGH 373 00:17:36,456 --> 00:17:38,358 ON THEIR MOTORCYCLES -- 374 00:17:38,391 --> 00:17:42,495 AUNT BEE, WE DON'T WANT TO KILL HIM. 375 00:17:42,529 --> 00:17:45,565 LIKE TO CAN HURT HIM A LITTLE, BUT WE DON'T WANT TO KILL HIM. 376 00:17:45,598 --> 00:17:46,799 YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING. 377 00:17:46,833 --> 00:17:48,835 I WISH WE HAD A PSYCHIATRIST IN TOWN. 378 00:17:48,868 --> 00:17:50,770 I BET BARNEY WOULD BE A REAL STUDY. 379 00:17:50,803 --> 00:17:52,505 YOU COULD GET HIM OFF THE MOTORCYCLE. 380 00:17:52,539 --> 00:17:55,575 MAYBE WE CAN GET THE DOCTOR TO RIDE ALONG WITH HIM. 381 00:17:55,608 --> 00:17:57,844 KIND OF A RIDE-ALONG PSYCHIATRIST. 382 00:17:57,877 --> 00:17:59,412 THAT'S NOT A BAD IDEA. 383 00:18:01,348 --> 00:18:04,684 THAT SMELLS FAMILIAR. 384 00:18:04,717 --> 00:18:07,420 OH, THAT'S OPIE. HE'S BURNING US A NEW HOUSE NUMBER. 385 00:18:07,454 --> 00:18:11,191 ON A SEPARATE PIECE OF WOOD, I HOPE. 386 00:18:11,224 --> 00:18:13,293 OH, I DON'T KNOW. 387 00:18:17,597 --> 00:18:20,233 HOLD IT. HOLD IT. HOLD IT. HOLD IT. 388 00:18:20,267 --> 00:18:22,469 HI, PA. LOOKS SWELL, DON'T IT? 389 00:18:22,502 --> 00:18:25,538 OH, OPE, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE BURNED IT RIGHT INTO THE HOUSE. 390 00:18:25,572 --> 00:18:27,907 YOU SHOULD PUT IT ON A SEPARATE PIECE OF WOOD. 391 00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,543 THAT WAY WE CAN NAIL IT UP IN A PROMINENT PLACE. 392 00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:32,812 DON'T YOU SEE, PA? THIS WAY IT'S PERMANENT. 393 00:18:32,845 --> 00:18:35,282 NOBODY CAN COME ALONG AND TAKE OUR NUMBER 394 00:18:35,315 --> 00:18:36,916 AND PUT IT ON ANOTHER HOUSE. 395 00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:39,786 I DON'T RECALL US HAVING A NUMBER THIEF AROUND FOR AGES. 396 00:18:39,819 --> 00:18:43,890 PUT IT ON A SEPARATE PIECE OF WOOD. 397 00:18:43,923 --> 00:18:47,460 I HAVE TO ADMIT, THOUGH, IT LOOKS KIND OF NICE. 398 00:18:47,494 --> 00:18:48,828 RIGHT PROFESSIONAL. 399 00:18:48,861 --> 00:18:50,530 YOU KEEP IT UP, I WOULDN'T BE SURPRISED 400 00:18:50,563 --> 00:18:52,365 IF YOU MAKE MONEY AT IT SOMETIME. 401 00:18:52,399 --> 00:18:54,667 -OH, YEAH. 402 00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:58,538 SOMEBODY WANTS HIS NAME DONE OR A "OUT TO LUNCH" SIGN 403 00:18:58,571 --> 00:19:01,441 OR A "DENTIST WILL BE BACK SOON" SIGN. 404 00:19:01,474 --> 00:19:03,643 HOW ABOUT A "LOOK OUT FOR THE DOGS" SIGN? 405 00:19:03,676 --> 00:19:06,213 IF I HAD A MEAN DOG, I'D BUY ONE. 406 00:19:06,246 --> 00:19:07,380 STAY RIGHT WITH IT. 407 00:19:08,581 --> 00:19:10,950 HI, ANDY! 408 00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,852 HI, BARNEY! 409 00:19:26,566 --> 00:19:28,235 GOOD MORNING, BARN. 410 00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:30,470 OH, HI, ANGE. WHAT YOU GOT THERE, OILCLOTH? 411 00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,339 YEAH. 412 00:19:32,372 --> 00:19:34,341 WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO, COVER SOME OF OPIE'S SCHOOLBOOKS? 413 00:19:34,374 --> 00:19:35,608 NO, ACTUALLY, THIS IS FOR YOU. 414 00:19:35,642 --> 00:19:36,876 HUH? 415 00:19:36,909 --> 00:19:39,579 WELL, I GOT TO THINKING, IF THE CYCLE 416 00:19:39,612 --> 00:19:43,250 IS GOING TO BE A PERMANENT PIECE OF OUR ROLLING STOCK, 417 00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:46,519 AND I'M GONNA HAVE TO RIDE IN IT ONCE IN A WHILE, 418 00:19:46,553 --> 00:19:50,457 I THOUGHT WE MIGHT JUST FIX HER UP A LITTLE BIT. 419 00:19:50,490 --> 00:19:53,993 THIS CUSHION'S ALL TORN AND STAINED AND EVERYTHING. 420 00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,862 AND, WELL, HERE. 421 00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:58,598 WHY DON'T YOU COVER IT UP AND GIVE ME A CLEAN PLACE TO SIT? 422 00:19:58,631 --> 00:20:01,834 YOU REALLY FOOL A GUY, YOU KNOW THAT? 423 00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:04,437 I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THE CYCLE 424 00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:05,738 UNTIL THIS VERY MINUTE. 425 00:20:05,772 --> 00:20:07,974 WELL, MY FACE DON'T LET ON. 426 00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:11,411 NOW COVER IT AROUND THERE GOOD AND SNUG. 427 00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:12,679 ALL RIGHT. 428 00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:14,414 DO IT RIGHT OR DON'T DO IT AT ALL. 429 00:20:14,447 --> 00:20:16,716 RIGHT. 430 00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:20,653 HEY, BARN 431 00:20:20,687 --> 00:20:23,256 DID YOU SEE THIS? 432 00:20:23,290 --> 00:20:24,357 WHAT? 433 00:20:24,391 --> 00:20:27,594 DOWN HERE WHERE THE CUSHION WAS. 434 00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:30,630 KIND OF A PLAQUE OR INSCRIPTION OR SOMETHING. 435 00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:31,931 LOOKEE THERE -- 436 00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:34,734 "FIRST MOTORCYCLE TO CROSS THE MARNE RIVER. 437 00:20:34,767 --> 00:20:40,607 BATTLE OF CHATEAU TIERRY, JUNE 12, 1918." 438 00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:41,974 FOR PETE'S SAKE. 439 00:20:42,008 --> 00:20:44,677 "PASSENGER, BLACK JACK PERSHING. 440 00:20:44,711 --> 00:20:48,415 DRIVER, CORPORAL NATE JACKSON, A.E.F." 441 00:20:48,448 --> 00:20:50,583 GENERAL PERSHING? THAT'S REALLY SOMETHING! 442 00:20:50,617 --> 00:20:52,585 THEY PROBABLY DID THIS RIGHT IN COMBAT 443 00:20:52,619 --> 00:20:54,621 AS SOON AS THEY GOT ON THE OTHER SIDE. 444 00:20:54,654 --> 00:20:56,022 MORE THAN LIKELY. 445 00:20:56,055 --> 00:20:58,325 WHAT THEY PROBABLY DID WAS TO HEAT A BAYONET 446 00:20:58,358 --> 00:20:59,959 AND BURN IT IN HERE FOR POSTERITY. 447 00:20:59,992 --> 00:21:01,828 YEAH. YEAH. 448 00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:04,764 I KNEW THERE WAS SOMETHING SPECIAL ABOUT THE CYCLE 449 00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:07,500 THE FIRST TIME I THREW A LEG OVER HER SADDLE. 450 00:21:07,534 --> 00:21:10,002 YOU DON'T HAVE AN ORDINARY CYCLE THERE, BARN. 451 00:21:10,036 --> 00:21:11,504 YOU GOT A MONUMENT ON YOUR HANDS. 452 00:21:11,538 --> 00:21:13,306 YEAH. 453 00:21:13,340 --> 00:21:15,342 YOU KNOW, IT PROBABLY OUGHT TO BE ON DISPLAY SOMEPLACE 454 00:21:15,375 --> 00:21:17,577 LIKE THERE IN THAT SMITH BROTHERS INSTITUTION 455 00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:20,680 IN WASHINGTON, D.C., RIGHT ALONG WITH LINDY'S SPIRIT OF ST. LOUIS 456 00:21:20,713 --> 00:21:22,014 AND ALL THEM OTHER THINGS. 457 00:21:22,048 --> 00:21:27,320 BARN, IT REALLY SHOULD BE, YOU KNOW THAT? 458 00:21:30,089 --> 00:21:32,892 YOU MEAN YOU THINK I ACTUALLY OUGHT TO GIVE IT TO 'EM? 459 00:21:32,925 --> 00:21:34,361 NOT TO THEM. 460 00:21:34,394 --> 00:21:37,397 YOUR FIRST LOYALTY IS TO YOUR TOWN. 461 00:21:37,430 --> 00:21:38,898 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 462 00:21:38,931 --> 00:21:41,501 WE GOT A LOT OF WORLD WAR I VETERANS RIGHT HERE -- 463 00:21:41,534 --> 00:21:44,837 AL, BURT STEVENS, THE MILO BOYS. 464 00:21:44,871 --> 00:21:46,639 ACTUALLY, THIS CYCLE BELONGS 465 00:21:46,673 --> 00:21:48,875 OVER AT THE NATIONAL GUARD ARMORY. 466 00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:51,344 WE GOT THE CANNON FROM THE CIVIL WAR, 467 00:21:51,378 --> 00:21:53,413 THE JEEP FROM WORLD WAR II. 468 00:21:53,446 --> 00:21:55,682 THIS CYCLE BELONGS RIGHT BETWEEN THEM. 469 00:21:55,715 --> 00:22:00,953 KIND OF A SHAME TO RETIRE IT FROM POLICE DUTY. 470 00:22:00,987 --> 00:22:04,357 IT'S ONLY BEEN ON THE JOB A LITTLE OVER A WEEK. 471 00:22:04,391 --> 00:22:09,462 AL, BURT, THE MILO BOYS. 472 00:22:09,496 --> 00:22:12,999 IT'S THEIRS, BARN. 473 00:22:13,032 --> 00:22:14,801 YEAH. 474 00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:17,770 IT BELONGS TO THE WORLD ALL RIGHT. 475 00:22:17,804 --> 00:22:20,773 KIND OF LIKE GIVING UP AN OLD FRIEND. 476 00:22:20,807 --> 00:22:23,910 IT'S FOR THE BEST. 477 00:22:23,943 --> 00:22:26,479 WHY DON'T YOU JUST RUN IT OVER THERE? 478 00:22:26,513 --> 00:22:28,881 NO. 479 00:22:32,485 --> 00:22:33,686 YOU DO IT, WILL YOU, ANGE? 480 00:22:47,133 --> 00:22:49,469 DON'T LOOK BACK. 481 00:22:59,912 --> 00:23:01,047 HI, PA. 482 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:02,749 DID YOU FIND OUT WHERE BARNEY WENT? 483 00:23:02,782 --> 00:23:05,184 YEAH, HE WENT OVER TO THE ARMY SURPLUS AUCTION 484 00:23:05,217 --> 00:23:06,853 IN MT. PILOT AGAIN. 485 00:23:06,886 --> 00:23:08,521 GEE, I HOPE HE BRINGS BACK SOMETHING INTERESTING. 486 00:23:08,555 --> 00:23:10,457 BITE YOUR TONGUE. 487 00:23:12,892 --> 00:23:15,194 HELLO? SHERIFF'S OFFICE. 488 00:23:15,227 --> 00:23:18,998 WHAT?! YOU'RE NOT SERIOUS! 489 00:23:19,031 --> 00:23:22,469 WHERE'D YOU SAY? HIGHWAY 6? 490 00:23:22,502 --> 00:23:23,770 I'LL BE RIGHT THERE. 491 00:23:23,803 --> 00:23:25,605 WHAT IT IS, PA? 492 00:23:25,638 --> 00:23:28,441 BARNEY BOUGHT SOMETHING AT THE ARMY SURPLUS AUCTION AGAIN. 493 00:23:28,475 --> 00:23:29,909 I'LL PUT A STOP TO THIS. 494 00:23:47,694 --> 00:23:49,929 DADBURN IT, BARNEY. YOU'VE GONE TOO FAR THIS TIME. 495 00:23:49,962 --> 00:23:51,130 NOW, COME OUT OF THERE! 496 00:23:51,163 --> 00:23:52,899 WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS, SHERIFF? 497 00:23:52,932 --> 00:23:55,167 I'M MAJOR HOBART, 22nd DIVISION. 498 00:23:55,201 --> 00:23:58,538 WE'RE ON OUR WAY TO A MILITARY DISPLAY, AND WE'RE LATE NOW. 499 00:23:58,571 --> 00:24:01,841 OH, I'M SORRY, MAJOR. 500 00:24:01,874 --> 00:24:04,611 I THOUGHT YOU WAS MY DEPUTY. 501 00:24:04,644 --> 00:24:06,679 HE BOUGHT THIS WORLD WAR I MOTORCYCLE, 502 00:24:06,713 --> 00:24:08,881 AND I THOUGHT HE MIGHT HAVE BOUGHT A TANK. 503 00:24:08,915 --> 00:24:10,750 AND WELL... I'M SORRY! 36618

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