Original subtitles

STARRING ANDY GRIFFITH...

WITH RONNY HOWARD...

ALSO STARRING DON KNOTTS.

HOW ABOUT LUNCH?

IT'S JUST 11:00.

I KNOW, BUT I'M HUNGRY.

LET'S WAIT A LITTLE WHILE.

HEY, MISS MATTENITE.

THAT AIN'T MISS MATTENITE.

IT IS, TOO.

MY GOODNESS, SHE'S FELL OFF A LOT, AIN'T SHE?

YEAH, SHE LOST A LOT OF WEIGHT.

DOCTOR MADE HER.

YEAH?

SAID HER ANKLES WAS TOO SKINNY

TO HOLD UP ALL THAT HEFT.

SEEMS LIKE RIGHT AFTER THEY GET MARRIED,

THEY LET THEMSELVES GO, DON'T THEY?

YEAH.

WHAT DO YOU SAY -- LUNCH?

IN A LITTLE BIT.

HEY, MRS. DEVEREAUX.

BOY, THAT MRS. DEVEREAUX SURE IS UGLY, AIN'T SHE?

BARNEY, SHE CAN'T HELP IT.

SHE'S JUST UGLY AS HOMEMADE SOAP.

YOU THINK CHARLIE DEVEREAUX IS SO GOOD

WELL, HE'S NO PRIZE.

BUT I DON'T KNOW.

IN A MAN, YOU DON'T SEEM TO NOTICE IT SO MUCH.

LUNCH?

NOT NOW.

HEY, CECE.

WELL, THAT CECIL GURNEY BEATS EVERYTHING,

YOU KNOW THAT.

YEAH?

HE HAS TWO SETS OF FALSE TEETH,

AND HE WON'T ADMIT IT.

CECE? YEAH?

HE AIN'T GOT FALSE TEETH.

NO? YOU JUST OFFER HIM

THE FIRST BITE OUT OF AN APPLE

AND WATCH HIM TURN YOU DOWN.

OH, COME ON.

YEAH... LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

HERE COMES THAT VIOLA SLATT.

WELL, WHAT ABOUT IT?

OH, SHE'S THE BIGGEST GOSSIP IN THIS TOWN.

SHE'LL YAK YOUR HEAD OFF.

ONCE SHE GETS STARTED,

YOU NEVER HEAR THE END OF IT.

ALL RIGHT, BOYS, BREAK IT UP, BREAK IT UP!

BACK OFF, COME ON, GET OUT OF THERE!

BREAK IT UP, BOYS, BREAK IT UP!

ALL RIGHT, WAIT A MINUTE!

ERNEST T. BASS?

ONE AND THE SAME, BASS IS THE NAME.

WHAT'S GOIN' ON?

I'M ABOUT TO FIND OUT, SERGEANT.

HE TRIED TO GET IN FRONT OF THE LINE!

HE CAME UP HERE LIKE HE OWNED THE SIDEWALK!

ALL RIGHT, BOYS, GET BACK IN LINE

I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT.

BEHAVE YOURSELVES!

ERNEST T., THIS IS A SOLDIERIN' LINE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I'M A-JOININ' UP.

FORWARD MARCH! LEFT, FACE!

NOW CLEAN YOUR GUN!

JUMP IN THE TRUCK!

HUT-TWO, HUT-TWO... HOW'S THAT SOUND?

IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU'RE MAKIN' TROUBLE!

THE ARMY'S NO PLACE FOR YOU, ERNEST T.

WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO ON HOME?

GO ON HOME?

Sergeant: NOW WAIT A MINUTE, SHERIFF.

DON'T SEND HIM HOME.

HE CAME DOWN HERE TO JOIN UP.

WE'LL TAKE ANY ABLE-BODIED MAN.

YUP, THAT'S ME, "ABLE-BODIED MAN."

IT'D BE TO THEIR HONOR TO GET A MAN

WHAT COULD CHIN HISSELF 20 TIMES WITH JUST ONE HAND;

WHAT COULD DIP INTO A BARREL OF WATER

AND PICK OUT A WATERMELON WITH HIS JAWS;

AND WHAT COULD CHUCK A FULL-GROWN SICK JACKASS

ACROSS HIS SHOULDERS AND TOTE HIM FIVE MILES TO THE DOCTOR.

ALL RIGHT, FELLA, WAIT YOUR TURN.

UH, SERGEANT, COULD I SPEAK WITH YOU FOR A MINUTE?

UH, I KNOW IT'S IMPORTANT FOR YOU

TO GET AS MANY BOYS AS YOU CAN,

BUT I REALLY BELIEVE

YOU'D BE MAKIN' A MISTAKE IF YOU TAKE THIS ONE.

HE'S CURIOUS.

HE'S A TROUBLEMAKER, IS WHAT HE IS.

HE'S A NUT.

A WHILE BACK, HE WAS GOIN' WITH A GIRL

UP HERE IN THE MOUNTAINS.

SHE MARRIED SOMEBODY ELSE AND HE GOT MAD AT HIM

AND BUSTED EVERY WINDOW IN THE HOUSE.

HE EVEN KIDNAPPED THE GIRL.

WELL, HE'S A WRONG ONE. HE'S A NUT.

SOUNDS LIKE HE'S GOT A LOT OF SPIRIT.

THAT'S WHAT WE WANT.

JUST TRYIN' TO SAVE YOU SOME TROUBLE, IS ALL.

THANKS, SHERIFF, BUT WE KNOW

HOW TO HANDLE GUYS LIKE THIS.

OKAY.

LUNCH?

HEY, SHERIFF?

I'M GONNA GET ME ONE OF THEM GREENY UNIFORMS,

LOT OF BRASS BUTTONS,

AND ONE OF THEM HATS WITH A BIG BADGE IN FRONT.

* AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME *

NYAH!

ALL RIGHT, ERNEST T.

HEY! HEY!

HUT, MARCH, HUT!

ONCE AGAIN, INHALE.

EXHALE.

RESPIRATORY OKAY.

TURN AROUND, PLEASE.

THAT RIGHT SHOULDER'S

A LITTLE HIGHER THAN THE LEFT ONE.

I CAN FIX THAT FOR YOU, DOC.

HEY, HEY!

COME ON!

SETTLE DOWN!

COME ON, SETTLE DOWN.

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO, BASS?

JUST TRYIN' TO HEP.

CAN'T DO ENOUGH FOR OUR BOYS IN KHAKI.

I'LL TAKE CARE OF THE MEDICAL PROBLEMS,

IF YOU DON'T MIND.

NEXT MAN.

ERNEST T. BASS.

SPEAKIN'.

OPEN, PLEASE.

UH, HOLD ON THERE, MR. MEDICO.

YOU PLANNIN' TO PROD INSIDE MY MOUTH

WITH THAT THERE STICK?

THAT'S RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT, YOU ARE WELCOME IN THERE

BUT YOU LEAVE YOUR STICK OUTSIDE.

DO AS YOU'RE TOLD, BASS, AND OPEN UP.

ALL RIGHT, BUT IT AIN'T GOIN' TO BE AS NICE

AS IT WOULD BE IF I HAD MY GOLD TOOTH IN THERE.

OH, YOU'VE LOST YOUR TOOTH?

NO, NO, AIN'T BOUGHT IT YET.

SAVIN' UP FOR IT, THOUGH.

BASS, SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND OPEN IT.

OPEN YOUR MOUTH!

MR. BASS, YOU HAVE ALL OF YOUR TEETH.

WHERE WERE YOU PLANNING TO PUT THE GOLD ONE?

RIGHT HERE IN FRONT, SEE, THESE THREE HERE.

I WAS GOIN' TO KNOCK THEM OUT, PUT THE GOLD ONE IN THE CENTER

LEAVIN' SPACE ON EACH SIDE.

THAT'D STAND OUT THAT WAY, ESPECIALLY WHEN I'M DANCIN'.

I SHOW MY TEETH WHEN I'M DANCIN'.

ALL RIGHT, BASS, THAT'S ENOUGH!

NOW, HOLD IT DOWN, YOU GUYS.

YOU STAND HERE AND LET THE DOCTOR EXAMINE YOU.

COME ON, YOU FELLAS, BREAK IT UP!

SAY "AH."

AH.

COULD YOU STRETCH THAT OUT A BIT?

AHHH...

AHHH...

UH, NO, THAT WAS JUST FOR THE THROAT.

OH, WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO SAY FOR THE EARS?

HUSH.

HU...

...SH.

JUST STAND THERE QUIETLY, MR. BASS.

UH, IF YOU'LL REPEAT THE NUMBERS YOU HEAR

AFTER ME, PLEASE.

GOT THAT?

OH, I GOT IT.

: 77.

: 77.

42. 42.

93.

93.

28. 28.

32.

32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 39, 50!

THAT'S FINE.

BASS! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE STANDING OVER THERE.

IF I'D HAVE DID THAT, I MIGHT NOT HAVE HEARD HIM.

NEXT MAN.

BOY, WAS THAT SHERIFF EVER RIGHT ABOUT YOU.

OKAY, BUDDY, OUT!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, OUT?

OUT. WE'RE TURNING YOU DOWN.

I AIN'T IN?

I AIN'T... I AIN'T GONNA GET MY UNIFORM?

THAT'S RIGHT.

OH, YOU'RE GONNA BE SORRY.

OH, I'M GONNA GET YOU.

I'M GONNA GET YOU ALL.

I'M GONNA GET YOU, YOU AND YOU!

I'M GONNA GET YOU!

I'M GONNA GET YOU!

I'M GONNA GET YOUR STICK, TOO!

I'LL GET EVERY ONE OF Y...

AND I'M GONNA GET THAT SHERIFF, TOO.

OH, I'LL GET YOU ALL!

YOU'RE GONNA BE SORRY! I'LL GET YOU.

OH, I'LL GET YOU, GET YOU, GET YOU!

I DON'T KNOW HOW THEY DO IT FOR 80 CENTS.

I DON'T, EITHER, I'LL TELL YOU.

THREE VIENNA SAUSAGES, HEAVY ON THE TOMATO PUREE,

SLICE OF BREAD AND BUTTER ON A PAPER DISK.

AND MORE THAN AN AMPLE PORTION OF SUCCOTASH.

DON'T LEAVE OUT THE SUCCOTASH.

WHEN YOU GET A GOOD MEAL LIKE THAT

AND AS GOOD A SERVICE AS OLIVE GIVES,

YOU DON'T MIND LEAVING A GENEROUS TIP.

DID YOU LEAVE A TIP?

WELL, YEAH, A QUARTER.

I DID, TOO.

A QUARTER?

YEAH.

WELL, DIDN'T YOU SEE ME PUT A QUARTER DOWN?

THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FOR THE BOTH OF US.

I'LL BE DOGGED.

OH, WHAT THE HECK, IT'S JUST A QUARTER.

WELL, NO, ANDY, THAT'S JUST THROWING MONEY AWAY.

LOOK, I'LL JUST RUN BACK OVER THERE,

PUT MY HAT DOWN ON ONE OF THE QUARTERS AND GET IT BACK.

BARNEY, THAT'S NOT NECESSARY.

POOR OLD OLIVE'S A WIDOW WITH FOUR CHILDREN.

SHE CAN USE IT.

OH, YEAH, I FORGOT ABOUT THAT.

BLESS HER HEART.

LET'S JUST LET HER KEEP IT.

YOU'RE ALL HEART, YOU KNOW THAT, BARN?

HI, SERGEANT.

SHERIFF.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

ERNEST T. BASS IS WHAT'S THE MATTER.

WHAT DID HE DO?

WE TURNED HIM DOWN AND HE BUSTED A WINDOW.

I TOLD YOU.

SAID HE'D GET EVEN WITH ALL OF US, ESPECIALLY YOU.

I'D LIKE TO STICK AROUND,

BUT I'M DUE UP AT MOUNT PILOT.

LOOKS LIKE HE'S YOUR PROBLEM, SHERIFF.

THANKS.

DON'T MENTION IT.

WE'LL STAY ON A NUMBER TWO AMBER ALERT.

WHAT'S THAT?

ONE OF US AWAKE AT ALL TIMES.

LET'S GET AFTER HIM!

WAIT A MINUTE!

"IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT

"I DIDN'T GET MY UNIFORM, SHERIFF.

"I'M GOIN' TO BREAK

"EVERY WINDOW IN THE STATE TO GET EVEN.

ERNEST T. BASS, EX-SERVICEMAN."

COME ON!

[ ERNEST CACKLING MADLY ]

LOOK AT HIM GO.

HE'S A STRANGE ONE.

HE'S A WILD MAN.

HE'S A NUT.

IF YOU ASK ME,

WE'RE GOING ABOUT THIS THING ALL WRONG--

WAITIN' FOR ERNEST T. BASS TO DO SOMETHING!

RELAX, BARNEY.

RELAX, NOTHIN'!

YOU NEVER CAN TELL WHAT THAT NUT MIGHT DO.

WE OUGHT TO THROW A DRAGNET OVER THE WHOLE TOWN.

IT'S NOT NECESSARY, BARNEY.

WE OUGHT TO GO AFTER HIM WITH BLOODHOUNDS AND TEAR GAS.

YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT A SILLY LITTLE RUNT

WITH A ROCK IN HIS HAND, NOT JOHN DILLINGER.

NOW, WILL YOU RELAX?

ANDY, I'M A MAN WITH POLICE ADRENALINE.

CALL IT WHAT YOU WILL

BUT THE INNER MAN IS EVER READY,

AND THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT.

DARN, DARN!

HE THINKS HE CAN SHAKE US UP

BY NOT DOING ANYTHING, HUH?

IF HE THINKS HE'S GONNA GET ON OUR NERVES

WITH ALL THIS SUSPENSE, HE'S GOT ANOTHER THINK COMIN'.

WELL, TRY NOT TO GET SHOOK UP.

I AIN'T SHOOK UP.

COURTHOUSE, SHERIFF TAYLOR.

YEAH, WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE.

RIGHT.

OKAY.

THANKS, MERLIN.

WELL?

MERLIN GRACEY SAW A FELLA

BREAK A STREETLIGHT IN FRONT OF MISS MINGUS' HOUSE.

NOT SO FAST.

BUT WE CAN NAIL HIM IF WE HUSTLE.

I DOUBT IT. ERNEST T. AIN'T ABOUT TO BREAK A STREETLIGHT,

THEN STAND AROUND LOOKING FOR HIS ROCK.

LET'S WAIT TILL A FEW MORE CALLS COME IN

AND FIND OUT WHAT DIRECTION HE'S HEADED.

SHERIFF'S OFFICE.

RIGHT, HANNAH LOU, WE'LL GET HIM.

JUST BROKE TWO PANELS

OUT OF HANNAH LOU SMITH'S GREENHOUSE.

HE'S COMING THIS WAY.

WE'LL WAIT FOR HIM AT THE CORNER OF PINE AND MAIN.

SHERIFF'S OFFICE.

UH-HUH.

OKAY. RIGHT, RICHIE.

HE'S COMING CLOSER -- HE JUST BROKE THE WINDOW

OF THE RICH FERRER'S HARDWARE STORE.

YOU GO OUT THE FRONT, I'LL GO AROUND THE BACK.

COME ON, DEPUTY, COME ON, DEPUTY!

IF I'D SEEN YOU WAS COMIN', I'D HAVE KNOWED WHAT TO DO

I'D HAVE RIS BOTH ARMS AND I'D HAVE WOVE AT YOU.

YOU AIN'T VERY FAST ON YOUR FEET, IS YOU?

ALL RIGHT, YOU STAND STILL, ERNEST T. BASS!

IF A DUCK STANDS STILL, YOU CAN CATCH HIM BY THE BILL.

IN THE NAME OF THE LAW, I ORDER YOU TO SURRENDER.

SURRENDER?

THAT'S IT, I'LL TELL YOU WHAT I'LL DO, DEPUTY.

I'LL GIVE YOU A CHANCE TO CATCH ME.

COME ON, COME ON, COME ON!

COME ON, DEPUTY, COME ON...

LET ME OUT! YOU GOT NO BUSINESS PUTTIN' ME IN...

YOU MIGHT AS WELL MAKE THE BEST OF IT.

BE QUIET!

YOU MIGHT AS WELL MAKE THE BEST OF IT.

WHAT ARE YOU FIXIN' ON DOIN'

NOW YOU GOT ME ALL CLANKED UP IN HERE?

WE HAVEN'T FIGURED THAT OUT YET!

TRY TO GET SOME SLEEP, OR SOMETHING.

BARNEY WILL BRING YOU BREAKFAST IN THE MORNING.

MAYBE.

[ SCREECHING LIKE A MONKEY ]

HIGH STRUNG, YOU KNOW THAT?

HE'S A NUT.

OH, GOOD MORNING, BARNEY.

HI, OLIVE. NICE DAY, HUH?

I'LL SAY.

SAY, YOU AND ANDY LEFT AN EXTRA QUARTER YESTERDAY.

I'M SURE IT WAS A MISTAKE.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? THAT WAS YOUR TIP.

TWO QUARTERS? BUT YOU NEVER --

OLIVE! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DEALING WITH --

A COUPLE OF PIKERS?

YOU GOT YOURSELF A HALF A "C" TIP. ENJOY IT.

APPRECIATE IT.

LET'S SEE, I'M NOT TOO HUNGRY THIS MORNING.

I'LL JUST HAVE, UH, ORANGE JUICE, A BOWL OF CEREAL,

STACK OF WHEATS, THREE EGGS OVER.

MAKE SURE THEY AIN'T RUNNY, NOW.

RIGHT.

BACON ON THE CRISPY SIDE, WHITE TOAST, BUTTERED,

HASH-BROWN POTATOES, AND COFFEE -- COFFEE NOW.

IT DOES MY HEART GOOD TO SEE A THIN PERSON EAT.

THANK YOU.

YEAH!

YOU WANT TO PASS ME THAT SUGAR, FELLA?

HERE YOU GO.

BASS!

ONE AND THE SAME.

HOW'D YOU GET OUT?

THAT'S FOR ME TO KNOW, YOU TO FIND OUT.

YOU GET ON YOUR FEET!

WHO GOT THE SPARE KEY OUT OF THE DESK FOR YOU?

ASK ME NO QUESTIONS, I'LL TELL YOU NO LIES.

YOU'RE GOING RIGHT BACK IN THAT CELL.

I'M JUST GOIN' TO GET RIGHT OUT AGAIN.

ALL RIGHT, REACH!

I'M SORRY YOU HAD TO SEE THIS, OLIVE.

ALL RIGHT, COME ON, MOVE, MOVE!

OUT THAT DOOR, THERE! COME ON!

ALL RIGHT, YOU WON'T GET OUT THIS TIME, BASS.

HELLO, SARAH? THIS IS DEPUTY FIFE.

GET ME SHERIFF TAYLOR'S HOUSE.

ANDY, DID YOU LET ERNEST T. BASS OUT TO HAVE BREAKFAST?

ANDY: 'Course not.

WELL, HE GOT OUT SOMEHOW.

I PICKED HIM UP AT THE DINER.

YOU BETTER COME AND GET ME.

LOCK THE CELL AND DOUBLE-CHECK IT.

AND TAKE BOTH SETS OF KEYS.

DON'T WORRY, I DOUBLE-CHECKED HER ALREADY.

I'LL SEE YOU IN A MINUTE.

IF YOU CAN GET OUT OF HERE NOW, YOU'RE A MAGICIAN.

ALAKAZAM...

A-ROO!

NOW, CUT THAT OUT!

HOW'D HE GET OUT?

I DON'T KNOW.

MAYBE HE IS A MAGICIAN.

COME ON.

WELL, HE CAN'T JUST DISAPPEAR INTO THIN AIR.

MAYBE HE GOT ENOUGH REVENGE

AND WENT ON BACK TO THE MOUNTAINS.

I WISH WE COULD COUNT ON THAT.

YOU SURE YOU LOCKED THAT CELL DOOR?

WELL, ANDY, I GAVE IT A TRIPLE SECURITY CHECK,

AND I LOCKED THE KEYS IN THE FILING CABINET.

HMM, WAIT A MINUTE.

NEW WINDOW FOR THE COURTHOUSE.

BOY, IF HE'S IN TOWN,

HE WON'T BE ABLE TO PASS THAT UP.

LET'S FOLLOW A WAYS AND SEE IF HE SHOWS.

YEAH.

HOLD IT! HOLD IT!

DON'T DO THAT, ERNEST T., PLEASE!

THAT'S THE NEW GLASS FOR OUR COURTHOUSE.

I'LL HANDLE THIS, ANDY.

I'M GONNA BREAK THAT GLASS!

YOU STAND BACK, BASS, JUST STAND BACK!

I'M GONNA BREAK THAT GLASS!

NO, YOU AIN'T!

YES, I AM!

DROP THAT ROCK AND GET OVER HERE!

WELL, ARE YOU JUST GONNA STAND THERE

AND LET HIM GET AWAY?

ALL RIGHT, SMART GUY!

WHAT THE...?

IT'S LOCKED.

AND THE KEYS ARE IN THE FILING CABINET.

HOW YOU KEEP GETTIN' IN AND OUT OF HERE?

COME ON, BASS, SPEAK UP!

I AIN'T TALKIN', I AIN'T TALKIN'.

THE MORE YOU'RE ASKIN', THE MORE I'M BALKIN'.

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO WITH HIM?

I DON'T KNOW.

DAD BURN YOU, ERNEST T.!

GOT YOU KIND OF NERVOUS, DIDN'T I?

YOU AIN'T KIDDING, BUDDY.

NOW, I KNOW YOU'RE MAD 'CAUSE THE ARMY WON'T TAKE YOU.

YEAH, AND IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT.

AIN'T YOU HAD ENOUGH REVENGE NOW?

I JUST WHETTIN' MY APPETITE, IS ALL.

AND I'M GONNA KEEP ON GETTIN' OUT OF HERE

TILL YOU THE GET THE ARMY TO GIVE ME MY UNIFORM.

IT WOULDN'T WORK, ERNEST T.

SUPPOSE YOU WAS IN THE ARMY RIGHT NOW.

NOT BEING ONE TO FOLLOW RULES,

YOU'D BE IN AND OUT OF TROUBLE THE WHOLE TIME.

I WASN'T FIXIN' ON GOIN' IN NO ARMY.

WHAT?

NO, I'M JUST GONNA GET ME MY UNIFORM

GO ON HOME AND STAY.

LET ME GET THIS CLEAR IN MY MIND.

YOU MEAN ALL YOU WANT IS A UNIFORM?

Ernest T.: IS ALL.

Barney: WELL, WHAT FOR?

GIRLS.

AND LOVE.

YOU KNOW WHAT IS THE TRUTH, SHERIFF?

AS CLEVER AND AS GOOD-LOOKIN' AS I AM, I...

I JUST... I JUST CAN'T GET A GIRL.

YOU CAN'T, HUH?

OH, THERE'S THREE OR FOUR GIRLS

BACK UP ON THE MOUNTAINS WOULD BE MINE

IF I HAD A UNIFORM.

YOU OUGHT TO SEE THEM FLIT AROUND JELSIC STURM

WHEN HE COME BACK HOME WITH HIS UNIFORM.

"JELSIC, WALK WITH ME. JELSIC, DANCE WITH ME.

JELSIC, KISS MY MOUTH."

GIRLS.

THAT'S WHY YOU WANT A UNIFORM?

YEAH, I COULD'VE BEEN HITCHED BY NOW

IF I ONLY HAD ONE.

I GOT EVERYTHING ELSE BUT.

I GOT LOOKS, BRAINS, PERSONALITY.

I KISS GOOD.

THE ONLY THING STANDING 'TWIXT ME AND SWEET ROMANCE

IS A UNIFORM.

I WONDER WHERE WE CAN FIND A SMALL-SIZED UNIFORM.

NO, NO...

NOW, ANDY, LISTEN.

I HAD THIS MADE IN RALEIGH.

THIS IS GENUINE WHIPLASH CORD.

ANDY...

MUCH OBLIGED, SHERIFF.

YOU'RE MORE THAN WELCOME, ERNEST T.

FORWARD MARCH!

CLEAN YOUR GUNS!

JUMP IN THE TRUCK.

THERE GOES A HAPPY MAN.

THERE GOES A HAPPY NUT.

HEY, ANDY, COME HERE A MINUTE.

WHAT?

COME HERE. I WANT TO SHOW YOU SOMETHING.

WHAT'S THAT?

THAT IS ERNEST T. BASS'S KEY.

AN OLD FORK?

THAT'S WHAT HE USED TO GET IN AND OUT OF HERE.

WHAT'D YOU DO THAT FOR?

GIVE ME THE FORK.

OH, COME ON. WAIT A MINUTE.

WATCH HOW THIS SLIPS IN THERE. SEE THAT?

OH, COME ON, BARNEY.

DON'T THROW ME OFF.

SEE HOW THAT PRESSES AGAINST THE TUMBLERS?

YEAH, WATCH THIS.

WILL YOU -- WAIT A MINUTE.

WAIT A MINUTE. I GOT IT.

THIS IS IT.

YOU SATISFIED?

NOW GIVE ME THE KEYS.

WHERE'S THE KEY?

UH, WELL, IT'S IN THE FILING CABINET.

WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST WE DO NOW?

HELP!

HELP!

HELP!

WELL, YELL, ANDY.

HELP!

HELP!