Original subtitles

STARRING ANDY GRIFFITH...

WITH RONNY HOWARD...

ALSO STARRING DON KNOTTS.

Man: LATEST REPORTS ON THE DARING HOLDUP

INDICATE THAT THE FOUR BANDITS HAVE SPLIT UP.

STATE POLICE ARE MOVING IN ON TWO OF THE GANG

HOLED UP IN AN ABANDONED BARN NEAR ROUTE 43,

ABOUT FIVE MILES FROM THE COUNTY LINE. HOWDY, BARN.

SHH!SHH!SHH!

HERE IS A BULLETIN JUST HANDED ME.

TWO OF THE HOLDUP GANG HAVE BEEN CAPTURED.

HOORAY!

POLICE CHIEF BENSON HAS STATED

THE PAIR WILL BE TAKEN FOR TEMPORARY CUSTODY

TO THE JAIL OF THE MAYBERRY COURTHOUSE.

AND NOW BACK TO... WHAT WAS THAT?

HE SAID MAYBERRY. THEY'RE BRINGIN' 'EM HERE.

DO YOU HEAR THAT, ANDY?

THEY'RE BRINGIN' 'EM HERE.

I'M GOIN' OUT TO THE FILLIN' STATION

AND TELL WALLY.

YOU BETTER RUN ON, TOO.

GEE, PA, CAN'T I STAY?

NO, YOU'LL JUST BE UNDERFOOT. NOW, GO ON.

Gomer: OPIE, YOU CAN GO WITH ME.

Opie: OKAY.

WELL, WELL, WELL!

SO WE'RE GONNA HAVE VISITORS.

LOOKS LIKE.

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING--

THOSE TWO HOODS ARE IN FOR A BIG SURPRISE

WHEN THEY GET HERE.

THEY'RE GONNA COME IN HERE EXPECTIN' TO FIND

SOME SMALL-TOWN, TWO-BIT LOCKUP --

A RINKY-DINK CLUBHOUSE.

WELL, THEY'RE GONNA FIND OUT DIFFERENT.

WHAT DO YOU GOT IN MIND?

I'M GONNA SHOW 'EM

WE'RE ON OUR TOES OUT HERE,

THAT THE MAYBERRY JAIL MATCHES ANY BIG-TIME PEN

THEY'VE EVER SERVED TIME IN.

BARNEY, THERE'S NO NEED...

FIRST OF ALL,

WE'RE GONNA GET RID OF ALL THESE EXTRA FRILLS.

WE GIVE 'EM JUST WHAT THEY GET IN THE BIG HOUSE:

ONE COT, ONE BLANKET, ONE CRACKED MIRROR, PERIOD.

WELL, I GUESS

WE COULD TAKE SOME OF THAT STUFF OUT--

THE DOILIES NEED WASHIN'.

I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING ELSE.

I SAID THIS BEFORE AND I REPEAT IT NOW.

WHAT WE REALLY NEED AROUND HERE

IS AN EXTRA DEPUTY.

WELL...

NOW, ANDY, THINGS LIKE THIS COME UP ALL THE TIME.

WE NEED EXTRA HELP.

WHO YOU GOT IN MIND?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

I'LL LOOK AROUND, FIND A GOOD, SHARP CANDIDATE.

BUT DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT IT, NOW.

HE'S GONNA BE MY ASSISTANT.

YOU LET ME WORRY ABOUT IT.

WELL, THESE PRISONERS WILL PROBABLY JUST BE HERE OVERNIGHT.

ANDY, PLEASE.

MY PROBLEM.

HOWDY, BARN.

ANDY.

WHAT'S UP?

NOTHING...

EXCEPT OUR NUMBER THREE MAN IS HERE TO REPORT FOR DUTY.

YOU GOT SOMEBODY?

WHO'D YOU GET?

DEPUTY! FRONT AND CENTER!

HUT!

HUT... HUT...

HALT, STOP THERE.

HEY, ANDY.

HEY, GOMER.

PRETTY SHARP, HUH?

YEAH.

UH, GOMER, WOULD YOU EXCUSE US JUST A MINUTE?

BARNEY?

GOMER?

WORKIN' 'ROUND THE JAILHOUSE?

NOT GOMER.

OH, ANDY, NOW, LOOK--

I KNOW HE'S GREEN

AND HE'S RAW,

BUT I CAN BRING HIM ALONG.

I'VE GOT HIM ON A CRASH PROGRAM.

HE'S LEARNED A LOT FROM ME ALREADY.

NOT GOMER.

ANDY, WATCH THIS, JUST WATCH.

DEPUTY, TEN-HUT!

WHISTLE!

TICKET BOOK!

PEN-CIL!

HUH?

NICE, BARNEY, VERY NICE.

NICE, GOMER, VERY NICE.

SHERIFF?

Andy: OH, MORNIN', LIEUTENANT.

GOT SOME CUSTOMERS FOR YOU.

GOOD.

PLAINCLOTHES MEN ARE COMIN' OVER FROM MEMPHIS

TO PICK 'EM UP.

BE HERE THIS AFTERNOON

OR IN THE MORNIN'.

FINE.

I DON'T THINK THEY'LL GIVE YOU ANY TROUBLE.

THEY'RE PRETTY BUSHED.

BRING THEM IN.

ALL RIGHT, BRING 'EM IN.

RIGHT OVER HERE.

HEY THERE, HOW ARE YE?

DON'T FRATERNIZE WITH THE PRISONERS!

THEY'RE ALL YOURS, SHERIFF.

THAT DOES IT.

NOT QUITE, SHERIFF.

BARNEY...

PLEASE, ANDY.

NOW, MEN, THERE ARE A FEW THINGS

WE OUGHT TO GET STRAIGHTENED OUT

RIGHT AT THE START TO AVOID ANY GRIEF LATER ON.

NOW, HERE AT THE ROCK WE HAVE TWO BASIC RULES.

MEMORIZE THEM SO THAT YOU CAN SAY THEM IN YOUR SLEEP.

THE FIRST RULE IS:

OBEY ALL RULES.

SECONDLY, DO NOT WRITE ON THE WALLS

AS IT TAKES A LOT OF WORK

TO ERASE WRITING OFF OF WALLS.

AS WE TELL ALL MEN WHEN THESE GATES SHUT BEHIND 'EM

YOU'RE STARTING A NEW LIFE.

IF YOU'RE WISE, YOU'LL BEGIN REHABILITATION...

BARNEY?

NOW, BARNEY, I GOT TO GO OUT

AND LOOK FOR THE TWO THAT'S STILL LOOSE.

NOW, PROMISE ME YOU'LL STAY AWAY FROM THE PRISONERS.

YOU GOT NOTHIN' TO WORRY ABOUT.

MAKE GOMER STAY AWAY FROM 'EM, TOO.

ANDY, I TOLD YOU

THE MAYBERRY JAIL IS GONNA BE RUN

AS SECURE AS THE BIG HOUSE ITSELF.

HI, BARN, HOW'S EVERYTHIN'?

SMOOTH AS CLOCKWORK.

I FINALLY GOT THROUGH TO 'EM

THAT AROUND HERE ORDERS IS ORDERS.

OOPS, TIME FOR MEALTIME FORMATION.

THAT'S THE ONLY WAY TO HANDLE 'EM--

STRICT ROUTINE.

OH.

WHERE'S GOMER?

I GOT HIM STATIONED OUTSIDE.

COME HERE, I'LL SHOW YOU.

I THOUGHT YOU SAID

YOU HAD HIM STATIONED OUTSIDE.

I DO... YOU GIVE UP?

YEAH.

I GOT HIM UP THERE

MANNIN' THE BLOCKHOUSE LOOKOUT.

LOOK.

THAT'S YOUR LOOKOUT, HUH?

WHAT HE GOT: EYES IN THE BOTTOM OF HIS FEET?

Barney: GOMER! GOMER, ATTENTION UP THERE!

FOR PETE'S SAKE, GOMER!

HEY, ANDY! HEY, BARN!

I DROPPED MY GUN.

GOMER, YOU GOT TO BE MORE CAREFUL.

DROPPIN' YOUR GUN LIKE THAT, YOU COULD HURT SOMEBODY.

WELL, I DIDN'T MEAN TO.

WELL...

LOOK AT ALL THIS CHRISTMAS MESS, BARNEY.

YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO CLEAN THIS UP.

I WILL!

RIGHT NOW THERE'S MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO.

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE WATCHIN'.

WHY, I'VE BEEN,

AND I'VE SEEN SOME REAL SIGHTS.

PETE DOOLEY'S TRUCK SPLASHED MUD

ALL OVER MISS FLETCHER,

AND I SEEN VIOLA McCONCKER

SNEAK OUT BY HER BARN

AND HAVE A DIP OF SNUFF

AND SULA SOLLY AND HER LITTLE BOY...

THAT'S FINE, THAT'S FINE, GOMER, THAT'S FINE.

WHY DON'T YOU CLEAN UP THESE LIGHT BULBS HERE?

WE CAN USE 'EM NEXT CHRISTMAS.

AND TAKE THAT GUN OUT OF YOUR MOUTH.

I DON'T GET IT, DOC,

YOU GOIN' ALONG WITH THAT HICK DEPUTY

AND THE MARCHING AND THE WHISTLE

AND ALL THAT JERKY STUFF.

JUST PLAYIN' IT SMART, TINY.

LET HIM THINK HE'S A BIG SHOT.

LEAD HIM ON FAR ENOUGH,

AND THAT HICK DEPUTY'S GONNA BE

OUR FREE PASS OUT OF HERE.

UH-HUH.

YOU'RE SURE, NOW?

OKAY, I'LL GET RIGHT UP THERE.

I GOT TO GO UP TO CARTER FRENCH'S PLACE.

SAID HE SAW TWO MEN.

LOOK, BARNEY...

DON'T GIVE IT A THOUGHT, ANDY.

EVERYTHING IS A-OKAY.

YES, SIR, THEY SURE RUN THIS PLACE

TIGHTER THAN EVEN THE STATE PEN.

HUH?

OH, OH, SURE.

EXCEPT FOR ONE THING...

WHAT?

THE SHAKEDOWN.

WE'VE BEEN HERE FOR HOURS --

NOT ONE SHAKEDOWN.

SHAKEDOWN?

YOU KNOW-- ALL PRISONERS OUT

WHILE THE SCREWS MAKE A SURPRISE INSPECTION

OF THE MATTRESSES

FOR GUNS AND KNIVES AND THINGS.

OH, WELL, GUESS YOU CAN'T EXPECT THEM

TO KNOW THOSE THINGS OUT HERE IN THE STICKS.

CAN'T EXPECT THEM TO KNOW ABOUT A SHAKEDOWN.

ALL RIGHT, SHAKEDOWN!

SHAKEDOWN.

LET'S GO, EVERYBODY OUT.

COME ON, MOVE!

LET'S GO.

SHAKEDOWN TIME.

IT'S SHAKEDOWN TIME

FOR GUNS AND KNIVES.

NOT THAT I'D THINK YOU BOYS WOULD BE FOOLISH ENOUGH

TO TRY ANYTHING HERE AT THE ROCK

BUT WE DON'T TAKE NO CHANCES.

YES, SIR, YOU GOT TO GET UP PRETTY EARLY IN THE MORN...

DOC?

TINY?

GUYS?

GOMER!

SARAH!

SARAH, MAYDAY, MAYDAY.

COME ON, SARAH.

OH, UH, NOTHING, SARAH.

NO, NO, I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT "PAYDAY."

HI, ANDY.

HOW'D THEY GET LOOSE?

UH, WHILE I WAS CONDUCTING MY SHAKEDOWN AND...

I TOLD THEM NOT TO LEAVE.

IT WAS THEIR FAULT.

A CLEAR CASE OF DISOBEDIENCE

AND IT OUGHT TO GO RIGHT ON THEIR RECORDS.

BARNEY, WE CAN'T HAVE THIS.

IT'S A GOOD THING I WAS STILL OUT THERE.

THEY COULD HAVE GOT CLEAN AWAY.

WELL, IT WON'T HAPPEN AGAIN

I PROMISE YOU THAT.

YOU SEE THAT IT DON'T.

SO THAT'S THE WAY IT'S GOING TO BE, HUH?

ALL RIGHT, JUST FOR THAT, NO MORE MR. NICE GUY.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO TOUCH THIS KEY!

ONLY AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL.

SMART ALECKS.

THERE'S GOMER'S GUN.

NOW, BARNEY, I'M NOT GOING TO HAVE TIME

TO GO AFTER THE OTHER TWO

IF I HAVE TO KEEP CATCHING THESE SAME TWO

OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

Andy: WELL, GENTLEMEN, THIS IS IT.

YOU KNOW, SHERIFF, COMING DOWN HERE,

WE GOT THE IDEA THAT IF THE MAYBERRY JAIL

LOOKED LIKE JUST ANOTHER SMALL-TOWN LOCKUP,

THOSE OTHER TWO MIGHT BE TEMPTED

TO COME INTO TOWN

TO TRY AND SPRING THEIR BUDDIES LOOSE.

AND YOUR JAIL SURE DOES LOOK LIKE AN EASY MARK, SHERIFF...

NO OFFENSE INTENDED.

YOU MEAN, YOU WANT TO USE OUR PLACE

AS KIND OF A... KIND OF A TRAP?

WELL, WE'D HAVE THE EDGE ON THEM

BETWEEN US AND YOUR DEPUTIES.

YOU DO HAVE SOME HELP, DON'T YOU?

WELL, NOW, ABOUT THAT...

WELL, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THE OTHER TWO

WILL TRY TO BUST THEIR BUDDIES LOOSE?

BECAUSE IT'S THEIR WAY.

SEE, THEY TRIED IT A COUPLE OF TIMES BEFORE.

THEY REALLY OPERATE LIKE A TEAM.

OH, WELL.

WELL, LET'S GIVE IT A TRY.

SEE-- THEY'RE STILL THERE.

GOOD.

I TOLD YOU YOU DIDN'T HAVE

NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING, I'VE BEEN THINKING.

WE'RE WASTING YOU DOWN HERE.

WHERE WE REALLY NEED YOU IS UP ON THE ROOF.

ON THE ROOF? GOMER'S ON THE ROOF.

I KNOW, BUT LIKE YOU SAY, HE'S GREEN

AND HE COULD REALLY LEARN A LOT

WITH A TRAINED MAN UP THERE WITH HIM.

WELL, I KNOW...

AND WHEN I NEED YOU, YOU BE READY.

YEAH, THIS OUGHT TO DO.

MORLEY AND I CAN COVER FROM HERE

IF YOU'LL TAKE THE OTHER SIDE OF THE STREET.

FINE.

EVERYTHING SET INSIDE?

ALL SET.

ALL RIGHT.

YOU SURE THE BOYS ARE IN THERE, HUH?

I WALKED BY ABOUT AN HOUR AGO-- THEY'RE THERE.

THE JOINT'S A PUSHOVER.

JUST TWO RUBES HANGING AROUND IT.

WELL, LET'S GO.

WAIT.

LET'S CASE IT.

ALL RIGHT.

I THINK THIS FINISHES UP ALL THE LIGHT BULBS.

SOMETHING'S GOING ON, I CAN JUST SMELL IT.

OH, THAT'S JUST WIND BLOWING FROM THE DINER.

THEY GOT CORNED BEEF AND CABBAGE ON TUESDAYS.

That's them!

That's who?

The other two crooks.

They're trying to bust out their buddies.

Shazam!

We better call the police.

We ar the police, you and me.

That's right, we are, aren't we?

I'm going to need my bullet.

This is our chance.

I'm going down and take 'em.

You cover me.

YOU KNOW, MAYBE WE SHOULD SPREAD OUT A LITTLE,

MOVE DOWN TO THE CORNER DOWN THERE.

RIGHT.

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!

ALL RIGHT, GET THEM UP.

NOW, GET YOUR ARTILLERY ON THE CRATE THERE.

DON'T TURN AROUND.

MARCH.

ON THE MOVE.

NOW, GET IN HERE.

COME ON, COME ON.

LOOK, CALL THE SHERIFF.

HE'LL IDENTIFY US.

MOVE!

MOVE.

GET YOUR HANDS UP.

KEEP THOSE HANDS UP AND GO ON IN THERE.

ALL RIGHT, SIT DOWN, YOU.

Barney: YOU, BACK ON THE COT.

GO ON, MOVE, MOVE.

HE'S GOT YOU, PETE.

Doc: NO SENSE TRYING TO TALK HIM OUT OF IT.

THIS BIRD IS SHARP.

FACE IT-- HE'S GOT US ALL.

FREEZE, OPEN THE DOOR.

HUH?

INSIDE, YOU.

WELL, DEPUTY, I HOPE YOU REALIZE WHAT YOU'VE DONE.

INSTEAD OF CAPTURING TWO MORE,

YOU'VE NOW LOST ALL FOUR.

HOLD IT RIGHT THERE!

GOMER!

RUN!

MACHINE GUN! THEY GOT A MACHINE GUN!

DON'T SHOOT.

ALL RIGHT, HOLD YOUR FIRE UP THERE AND COME ON DOWN.

WELL, I'LL BE.

WHAT HAPPENED?

GREAT WORK, BARN, YOUR SCHEME WORKED.

DIDN'T EVEN HAVE TO FIRE A SHOT.

THE LIGHT BULBS DID THE TRICK.

LIGHT BULBS?

I'LL EXPLAIN IT LATER.

FIRST WE BETTER NOTIFY THE STATE POLICE.

GREAT WORK, BARN.

NOW, MEN, I HOPE THIS HAS TAUGHT YOU A LESSON.

YOU OLD TIMERS KNOW THIS, SO THIS IS FOR THE NEW ARRIVALS--

HERE AT THE ROCK, WE HAVE TWO BASIC RULES...

SEE THAT?

THAT'S GOOD.

READY? MM!

OH, HI, ANDY.

WHATCHA DOIN'?

OH, JUST KEEPING OURSELVES RAZOR-SHARP

SO WE'LL BE READY AND FIT FOR THE NEXT EMERGENCY.

YOU WANT TO SHOW ANDY WHAT I SHOWED YOU?

YEAH. OKAY.

WATCH THIS, ANDY.

GO AHEAD.

GO!

IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO HANDLE ONE OF THESE THINGS,

YOU GOT NO BUSINESS CARRYING ONE!