Original subtitles

STARRING ANDY GRIFFITH...

WITH RONNY HOWARD...

ALSO STARRING DON KNOTTS.

MORNING, MIZ TARBUCKS.

MIZ TARBUCKS.

SHE'S GETTING GRAY FOR A WOMAN HER AGE, AIN'T SHE?

YEAH. SHE'S BEEN HAVING A LOT OF TROUBLE WITH ARTHUR LATELY.

OH, YEAH?

LIKE WHAT? WHAT KIND OF TROUBLE

OH, YOU KNOW.

NO, I DON'T KNOW.

WHAT? WHAT KIND OF TROUBLE?

OH, I-I REALLY OUGHTN'T TO SAY ANYTHING...

WELL, YOU CAN TELL ME. I'M YOUR DEPUTY.

WELL, IT-IT...

WAIT A MINUTE. SHE'S LOOKING THIS WAY.

OKAY. SHE WENT IN THE DRUGSTORE.

GO AHEAD.

WELL... HE WANTS THE WHOLE FAMILY

TO MOVE OUT OF TOWN.

FOR PETE'S SAKE, WHY?

HE CLAIMS PEOPLE TALK ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE TOO MUCH.

WHERE DID HE EVER GET AN IDEA LIKE THAT?

BEATS ME.

Barney: DOG-GONE THAT KID.

THEY KNOW THEY'RE NOT ALLOWED TO RIDE BIKES ON THE SIDEWALK.

OH, DEAR...

THERE, THERE, MRS. RODENBACH. WE'LL GIVE YOU A HAND.

OH, THERE OUGHT TO BE A LAW AGAINST RIDING ON THE SIDEWALK.

THERE IS.

DID YOU SEE WHO THE BOY WAS ON THE BICYCLE?

NO, I DIDN'T. IT ALL HAPPENED SO FAST.

EDITH BLESSING JUST LEFT

AND WE WERE TALKING ABOUT MRS. TARBUCKS.

MY, HASN'T SHE GOTTEN GRAY?

WELL, YOU KNOW WHY, DON'T YOU?

BARN!

OH, I-I'M SORRY.

DID YOU SEE HOW OLD THE BOY WAS?

NO. IT WAS JUST WHOOSH, AND HE WAS GONE.

IF IT HAPPENS AGAIN, TRY TO REMEMBER THE FOLLOWING THINGS:

AGE OF THE BOY, COLOR OF HIS HAIR

NEW OR OLD BICYCLE, WHETHER OR NOT HE WAS WEARING GLASSES

THINGS LIKE THAT.

I'LL CERTAINLY TRY.

WE'D APPRECIATE IT.

OF COURSE, A REALLY SOUND SAFETY PROCEDURE

WOULD BE TO GIVE EACH AND EVERY CITIZEN IN THIS TOWN

A COURSE IN POLICE IDENTIFICATION.

OF COURSE, YOU KNOW US TRAINED PROFESSIONALS--

WE HAVE PHOTOGRAPHIC MINDS.

OH, WELL, I'M CERTAINLY GLAD YOU WERE HERE.

NOW YOU KNOW WHO IT WAS.

WELL, GOLLY, IT ALL HAPPENED SO FAST.

JUST WHOOSH AND HE WAS GONE.

HIYA, TAYLOR.

HI, ARNOLD.

HEY, YOU GOT YOUR NEW

INTERCONTINENTAL FLYER, HUH?

UH-HUH. YESTERDAY.

BOY, IT'S A BEAUTY.

WOW! IS THIS REAL CHRONE?

THERE'S AN "M" IN THERE, TAYLOR.

I KNOW. CHRONIUM.

HOW MUCH DID IT COST?

SEVENTY DOLLARS.

SEVENTY DOLLARS?

GOSH, YOU MUST HAVE BEEN SAVIN' UP FOR IT

SINCE YOU WAS A KID.

MY DAD BOUGHT IT FOR ME.

FOR YOUR BIRTHDAY OR SOMETHING?

OH, NO. I SAVE MY BIRTHDAY FOR SOMETHING BIG.

WHAT'S BIGGER THAN AN INTERCONTINENTAL?

JILLIONS OF STUFF:

A PONY, A BOAT, ALL KINDS OF STUFF.

COME ON, TAYLOR.

HOP ON THE RACK, AND I'LL GIVE YOU A RIDE.

I CAN'T. I GOT TO GET THIS GARAGE CLEANED OUT.

MY PAW. WHO SAYS?

WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU DON'T?

I DON'T GET MY QUARTER

THIS WEEK.

A QUARTER?

FOR A JOB LIKE THIS?

OH, NO. BESIDES THIS

I TAKE OUT THE ASHES, KEEP THE WOODBOX FILLED

AND SET THE TABLE EVERY NIGHT.

OH, BOY, DID YOUR OLD MAN SEE YOU COMING.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

HE'S TAKING ADVANTAGE OF YA.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

THEY OWE IT TO YA.

YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO WORK FOR YOUR ALLOWANCE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK "ALLOWANCE" MEANS?

I DON'T KNOW.

IT MEANS MONEY THE KID IS ALLOWED TO HAVE.

OH?

AND WITHOUT WORKING FOR IT.

IT'S FOR BEING A KID.

ARE YOU SURE?

SEEMS TO ME MY PAW WOULD HAVE TOLD ME IF THAT'S SO.

THEY FIGURE

WHAT THEY DON'T TELL YA, IT WON'T HURT YA.

NOT MY PAW. HE TELLS ME EVERYTHING STRAIGHT.

OKAY. SO I'M WRONG

BUT WHO'S CLEANING THE GARAGE FOR A QUARTER

AND WHO'S RIDING A $70 BIKE?

WAIT A MINUTE, ARNOLD.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I TOLD YOU --

KIDS AREN'T SUPPOSED TO WORK FOR THEIR ALLOWANCE.

MY PAW IS AWFUL BUSY.

MAYBE HE HASN'T HEARD THIS NEW STUFF.

MAYBE.

IF I WAS YOU, I'D JUST COME RIGHT OUT AND TELL HIM.

OKAY, I'LL ASK HIM.

MY PAW IS REAL GOOD ABOUT THINGS LIKE THIS.

HE'LL SIT RIGHT DOWN WITH ME,

AND WE'LL TALK THE WHOLE THING RIGHT OUT IN THE OPEN.

BOY, YOU DO EVERYTHING THE HARD WAY.

WANTED POSTERS CAME IN, ANDY.

OH, GOOD.

FILE 'EM, WILL YOU, BARN?

YEAH.

LET'S SEE WHAT WE GOT HERE.

"HENRY 'SHOPPING BAG' LEONETTI-- GRAND LARCENY. $4,000 REWARD."

"MAX 'THE TONGUE' RASMUSSEN-- GRAND THEFT AUTO.

REWARD-- $1,500."

"BENJAMIN SCHUSTER, ALIAS BENJY SCHUS

"ALIAS BENNY SHUTE-- FORGERY.

REWARD-- $3,000."

YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS, ANGE?

WHAT?

8,500 AMERICAN SILVER CARTWHEELS RIGHT IN OUR HANDS.

ONLY ONE SMALL HITCH.

WE DON'T KNOW WHERE THEY ARE.

RIGHT.

HI, PAW. Both: HI, OPE.

HI, BARNEY.

I THOUGHT YOU WAS SUPPOSED

TO BE CLEANING OUT THE GARAGE.

I WANTED TO HAVE A TALK WITH YOU.

MUST BE PRETTY IMPORTANT

FOR YOU TO BREAK OFF IN THE MIDDLE OF A CHORE.

IT'S PREYING ON MY MIND, PAW.

OH, WELL, YOU DID RIGHT TO COME IN.

SET DOWN.

OKAY.

READY?

READY.

THIS: ARE THERE RULES

FOR HOW A PAW SHOULD TREAT HIS SON

IF HE'S A KID?

UH, WELL...

OF ALL THE QUESTIONS TO COME UP WITH

IF THAT DON'T TAKE THE CAKE.

BARNEY, OPIE AND I USUALLY KEEP THESE LITTLE TALKS TO OURSELVES.

OH, SURE.

OH, I UNDERSTAND THAT.

OH, I... I GOT PLENTY TO DO IN HERE ANYWAYS.

ARE BARNEY'S FEELINGS HURT, PAW?

OH, I DON'T THINK SO.

I THINK I CAN, UH, SPEAK FOR MY OWN FEELINGS, ANDY.

WHY DO YOU ASK THAT, OPE?

I DON'T KNOW.

I HEARD YOU WERE KIND OF SENSITIVE.

SENSITIVE

Andy: BARN...

BOY, THAT'S A NICE THING TO GET STARTED AROUND.

IF THERE'S ANYTHING THAT UPSETS ME

IT'S HAVING PEOPLE SAY I'M SENSITIVE.

IF IT'S ONE THING I'M NOT, IT'S SENSITIVE.

YOU TALK ABOUT BEING MISUNDERSTOOD.

BARNEY, YOU'RE A LITTLE FLUSHED.

THAT'S SPIRIT! I'M A VERY SPIRITED PERSON!

THERE'S A BIG DIFFERENCE, YOU KNOW.

GO ON AND HAVE YOUR LITTLE TALK.

IT DON'T MEAN NOTHING TO ME ANYWAYS.

I'm sorry I hurt Barney's feelings, Paw.

He's very spirited.

Is that like sensitive?

Well, kind of.

WHAT'S THIS ABOUT RULES FOR PAWS AND SONS?

THIS, FIRST:

HMM...

THE 75-CENT RULE.

THE 75-CENT RULE. I DON'T, UH...

I DON'T BELIEVE I EVER HEARD OF THAT ONE.

WELL, THAT'S WHAT I FIGURED.

MM-HMM.

WHAT IT IS, PAW, IS THAT NOWADAYS

KIDS GET 75 CENTS A WEEK ALLOWANCE INSTEAD OF 25 CENTS.

75 CENTS?

THAT'S A LOT OF MONEY,

AND IN A YEAR'S TIME

THAT'D COME TO... LET'S SEE, THERE'S 52 WEEKS IN A YEAR...

IT COMES TO AROUND $40 A YEAR.

THAT'S A AWFUL LOT OF MONEY FOR A YOUNG 'UN.

THEY GET IT, PAW.

THEY DO, HUH?

AND THEY DON'T HAVE TO WORK FOR IT LIKE I DO.

HUH. WELL, WHO IS THIS,

THIS "THEY" YOU KEEP TALKING ABOUT?

OH, ARNOLD WINKLER AND EVERYBODY.

ARNOLD WINKLER.

I DON'T BELIEVE I KNOW HIM, DO I?

THEY'RE NEW FROM RALEIGH.

OH, I SEE, AND THE RALEIGH RULES SAY, UH

SAY "75 CENTS AND NO WORK," HUH?

I GUESS.

YOU WANT IT STRAIGHT, DON'T YOU?

UH-HUH.

OKAY. HERE IT GOES.

THERE ARE NO RULES FOR PAWS AND SONS.

UH, IT'S AS SIMPLE AS THIS:

EACH, UH, EACH MOTHER OR FATHER RAISES HIS BOY OR GIRL,

AS THE CASE MAY BE,

THE WAY THAT, UH, HE THINKS IS BEST

AND I THINK IT'S BEST

FOR YOU TO GET A QUARTER AND WORK FOR IT.

YOU SEE, WHEN YOU GIVE SOMETHING--

IN THIS INSTANCE, CLEANING THE GARAGE--

AND YOU GET SOMETHING IN RETURN LIKE A QUARTER,

WHY, THAT'S THE GREATEST FEELING IN THE WORLD.

YOU DO FEEL GOOD AFTER WORKING, DON'T YOU?

UH-HUH. GOOD AND TIRED.

WELL, AS, UH, AS YOU GET BIGGER

WELL, YOU'LL BE DOING MORE AND MORE WORK

FOR MORE AND MORE RETURN

AND THAT GOOD FEELING WILL GET BIGGER.

YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN?

I THINK SO.

GOOD.

I'M NOT GONNA GET THE 75 CENTS.

RIGHT.

AND I HAVE TO WORK FOR THE 25.

RIGHT. ALL CLEAR TO YOU?

YEAH. THE BIGGER YOU GET, THE TIRED-ER YOU GET.

WELL, UH, YOU JUST...

YOU JUST THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A WHILE.

DO I HAVE TO?

DON'T YOU WANT TO THINK ABOUT IT?

II MAKES ME KIND OF SAD.

WELL, THE THING TO DO WHEN YOU'RE FEELING SAD

IS TO SHOOT FOR THE GOOD FEELING.

CLEAN THE GARAGE.

RIGHT.

SO LONG, PAW.

SO LONG, SON.

SO LONG, BARNEY.

SO LONG, OPE, AND THAT COMES TO $39 EXACTLY.

OH.

KIDS... WHAT DO THEY KNOW ABOUT LIFE, HUH?

WELL... I TELL YOU ONE THING--

A WHOLE LOT MORE THAN WE GIVE 'EM CREDIT FOR.

YEAH. THAT'S TRUE... BUT THEY NEED GUIDANCE.

YEAH. THAT'S TRUE.

AND THIS TIME YOU REALLY MUFFED IT.

HOW'S THAT?

WELL, NOT BEING EMOTIONALLY INVOLVED WITH THE CHILD,

I THINK I CAN BE PRETTY DOGGONE OBJECTIVE.

OH.

YOU BEEN AT THE MAGAZINE SECTION

OF THE SUNDAY PAPER AGAIN, AIN'T YA?

I SKIMMED THROUGH IT.

AND, UH, ON THE SUBJECT OF CHILD REARING, IT SAID...?

THERE'S A DEFINITE TREND TOWARDS STRONGER DISCIPLINE.

LIKE WHAT?

LIKE A GOOD CLOUT ONCE IN A WHILE.

HAVE YOU EVER KNOWN THE MAGAZINE SECTION

OF THE SUNDAY PAPER TO LIE?

DID YOUR FATHER EVER HIT YOU?

WELL, HE COULDN'T. I WAS A LOT BIGGER THAN HE WAS.

I THOUGHT AS A CHILD YOU WERE SICKLY.

WELL, HE WAS SICKLIER.

NOW, ANDY, THE WAY I'D TALK TO A SON OF MINE...

WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A MINUTE.

JUST DON'T START OFF ON THAT IMAGINARY CHILD OF YOURS AGAIN.

LOOK, ANDY, I'M ONLY TRYING --

ALL THE THEORIES IN THE WORLD DON'T MEAN A THING

UNTIL YOU GOT A CHILD OF YOUR OWN.

THERE AIN'T NO USE TALKIN' ABOUT IT

'CAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE GONNA DO

UNTIL YOU'RE FACED WITH IT.

WHAT ARE YOU DRIVING AT?

JUST THINK ABOUT IT

AND WHEN IT CLEARS UP IN YOUR MIND, DO ME A FAVOR.

WHAT'S THAT?

DON'T BE SENSITIVE ABOUT IT.

...AND HE SAID, "WELL, WHEN YOU'RE SAD,

SHOOT FOR A GOOD FEELIN'."

I SAID, "CLEAN THE GARAGE," AND HE SAID, "RIGHT,"

AND HERE I AM.

I KNEW HE'D PULL THAT ONE, TAYLOR.

HOW?

BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL THE SAME.

TAYLOR, I'VE NEVER KNOWN A KID YET

WHO COULD WIN IN A MAN-TO-MAN TALK.

I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.

MY PAW AND I, WE DECIDE A LOT OF THINGS TALKING THAT WAY.

HE'S VERY GOOD AT EXPLAINING.

I KNOW-- AT EXPLAINING WHY YOU'RE WRONG.

BUT HAS HE EVER EXPLAINED TO YOU WHY YOU'RE RIGHT?

NOT THAT I REMEMBER.

LOOK, TAYLOR, I LIVED IN RALEIGH.

I'VE BEEN AROUND.

HECK, I LEFT HOME WHEN I WAS SEVEN.

YOU DID?

WENT TO SUMMER CAMP FOR TWO WEEKS.

TAKE IT FROM ME, TALKING IS A WASTE OF TIME.

YOU HAVE TO TAKE ACTION.

ACTION?

SURE.

WHAT KINDA ACTION?

TEMPER TANTRUMS.

WHY?

TO SCARE 'EM; SHAKE 'EM UP A LITTLE BIT.

HAVE YOU EVER HELD YOUR BREATH?

SWIMMING UNDER THE RAFT.

NO. I MEAN AT HOME, TO GET SOMETHING YOU WANT.

SOUNDS KIND OF SPITEFUL.

LISTEN, IT WORKS.

YOUR FACE GETS KINDA RED, AND YOUR JAWS GET TIGHT

AND, OH, BOY, DO THEY GET SCARED.

THEY THINK YOU'RE GOING TO GET SERIOUSLY SICK

OR MAYBE EVEN BUST A VESSEL.

GEE.

OH, YEAH. THERE'S ALL KINDS OF 'EM:

KICKING A TABLE LEG, UH, ROLLING AROUND ON THE FLOOR,

KICKING YOUR FEET, PRETENDING YOU CAN'T STOP CRYING.

GOSH, I DON'T KNOW...

OH, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, TAYLOR.

HEY, ARNOLD.

TAKE IT EASY, ARNOLD.

I DIDN'T MEAN TO SAY NOTHIN' WRONG.

I'M SORRY, ARNOLD, I'M SORRY.

GET THE IDEA?

AND IT WORKS?

EVERY TIME.

HEY!

STOP THAT BIKE!

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO RIDE A BIKE ON THE SIDEWALK.

OH, I'M SORRY, SIR. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

WELL, NOW YOU KNOW.

BIKE RIDING ON THE STREETS ONLY.

CITY STATUTE 249-A, SECTION ROMAN NUMERAL V.

I WON'T DO IT AGAIN, SIR. I PROMISE.

ALL RIGHT. SEE THAT YOU DON'T.

OH, WATCH IT.

DOGGONE IT, I WARNED HIM

AND HE DELIBERATELY RODE ON THE SIDEWALK AGAIN.

IS THAT TRUE? DID YOU HEAR OFFICER FIFE WARN YOU?

YES, SIR.

WHAT'D YOU DO IT AGAIN FOR?

BECAUSE I WANTED TO.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?

ARNOLD WINKLER.

WILL YOU LET GO OF MY BIKE?

YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO HOLD MY BIKE LIKE THAT.

YOU JUST SIMMER DOWN THERE, YOUNG FELLOW.

YOU'RE THE ONE THAT'S BEEN RIDING AROUND ON THE SIDEWALK

KNOCKING FOLKS OVER, AIN'T YA?

I'LL TELL MY DAD ABOUT THIS. THEN YOU'LL BE SORRY.

GO AHEAD. TELL HIM AND SEE IF WE CARE.

NAAAH!

NAAAH!

UH, BARN, LET'S TRY TO KEEP THIS

ON AN ADULT LEVEL.

YOUNG MAN, I'M GONNA HAVE

TO TAKE THIS BIKE AND HOLD IT.

MY BIKE? YOU CAN'T TAKE MY BIKE! IT'S MY BIKE!

THAT WON'T DO YOU ANY GOOD.

THAT WON'T DO YOU ANY GOOD.

YOU CAN'T TAKE MY BIKE. IT'S MY BIKE, AND NO ONE'S TAKING IT!

NOW, YOU LISTEN HERE, YOUNG FELLA -- WHEN AN OFFICER GIVES YOU A WARNING

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO MIND,

BUT I EXPECT YOU'LL KNOW WE'RE NOT FOOLING

WHEN WE TAKE THIS BIKE AND KEEP IT FOR A WEEK OR TWO.

YOU'LL SEE! I'LL TELL MY FATHER!

GOOD, GOOD. YOU TELL HIM TO COME RIGHT ON DOWN, AND WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT.

YEAH. NOW GET ON OFF OF THERE.

NOW GO ON HOME.

YOU'LL SEE!

I'M GONNA TELL MY DAD!

COCKY LITTLE DEVIL, AIN'T HE?

YEAH. IMAGINE HIM TALKING TO US LIKE THAT.

ARROGANT LITTLE CUSS --

THINKS HE CAN MAKE UP HIS OWN RULES.

YEAH. WELL, TAKE THE BIKE AND IMPOUND IT, WILL YA?

YEAH.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

NO RIDING ON THE SIDEWALK.

HOW'S IT COMING?

GOOD. COMING RIGHT ALONG.

GOT A NICE FEEL TO IT.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT --

WHEN YOU'RE FINISHED WITH IT, TELL ME WHAT IT IS,

AND I'LL GIVE YOU 50 CENTS FOR IT.

OH, ANDY, I PUT THE BIKE IN THE SHED.

GOOD.

HI, PAW. OH, HI, SON.

PAW, COULD I TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING I DON'T UNDERSTAND?

SURE. COME ON IN.

OH, UH, THAT'S NICE -- VERY NICE.

I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND IT, PAW.

WHAT?

NONE OF THE OTHER GUYS WORK FOR THEIR ALLOWANCE.

I THOUGHT WE HAD THIS ALL THRASHED OUT BEFORE.

WE DID.

WHY BRING IT UP AGAIN?

'CAUSE.

'CAUSE WHY? JUST 'CAUSE.

SON, THAT 'CAUSING' CAN GO ON AND ON

IF YOU GIVE IT ITS HEAD.

NOW WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT?

I DON'T WANT TO WORK FOR MY ALLOWANCE.

OPIE, I'M VERY BUSY RIGHT NOW.

LIKE I SAY, WE BEEN THROUGH ALL THAT BEFORE.

I STILL DON'T WANT TO WORK FOR MY ALLOWANCE.

FINE.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO.

OH, BOY!

NO WORK, NO ALLOWANCE.

THAT'S NOT FAIR!

DON'T RAISE YOUR VOICE TO ME.

NOW YOU GET ON OUT OF HERE.

I GOT THINGS TO DO.

WHAT ARE YOU DOIN'?

OPIE, I ASKED YOU WHAT YOU'RE DOIN'.

I WAS HOLDING MY BREATH.

GOOD. GOOD LUNG EXERCISE.

OPIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING NOW?

I'M CRYING AND I CAN'T STOP.

OH, THAT'S A SHAME.

WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' NOW?

I WAS HAVING A TANTRUM.

OH.

WELL, DON'T GET YOUR CLOTHES ALL DIRTY.

SHERIFF.

YES, SIR. YOU THE BOY'S FATHER?

THAT'S RIGHT, SIMON WINKLER.

ANDY TAYLOR.

WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT?

249-A, SECTION ROMAN NUMERAL V.

PASSENGER CARRYING WHEELED VEHICLE

MAKING PASSAGE AND/OR TRANSCENDING AREA

DESIGNATED FOR PEDESTRIAN TRAFFIC ONLY.

SUSPECT DULY WARNED, FLAUNTED SAID WARNING

AND IGNORING SAME, REPEATED OFFENSE WITHIN A 24-HOUR PERIOD.

ALL RIGHT. SO HE RODE HIS BIKE ON THE SIDEWALK.

I WAS THERE, MR. WINKLER. ARNOLD WAS GIVEN WARNING,

AND CONTINUED TO RIDE HIS BICYCLE ON THE SIDEWALK.

THE OFFENSE WAS CLEARLY DEFINED UNDER NORMAL WEATHER CONDITIONS.

THERE WAS PLENTY OF ROOM. I WASN'T HURTING ANYBODY.

PEOPLE ARE COMING IN AND OUT OF STORES

ON MAIN STREET EVERY MINUTE.

YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN SOMEBODY'S WILL WALK IN FRONT OF YA.

EVERYBODY'S AGAINST ME.

THERE, THERE.

CAN'T EVEN HAVE A LITTLE FUN.

NOW YOU SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE.

YOU GOT THE BOY ALL UPSET.

WAS IT SUCH A CRIME?

IT SEEMS YOU PEOPLE WOULD HAVE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DO

THAN GO AROUND, FRIGHTENING CHILDREN.

NOW LOOK HERE, MR. WINKLER, ARNOLD WAS WARNED

AND CONTINUED TO RIDE HIS BICYCLE ON THE SIDEWALK.

WE'RE GONNA IMPOUND THAT BICYCLE

UNTIL HE LEARNS TO USE IT ACCORDING TO REGULATION.

FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE.

CAN'T YOU SEE THIS IS A VERY SENSITIVE CHILD?

OBVIOUSLY, YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HIM.

ARNOLD'S A GOOD BOY. YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND HIM.

OH, I THINK I UNDERSTAND HIM.

HE'S A GOOD BOY, REALLY.

A LITTLE HIGH-SPIRITED, PERHAPS,

BUT WEREN'T WE ALL AT HIS AGE?

I WASN'T.

THE LAW'S THE LAW. IF WE DON'T TEACH

CHILDREN TO LIVE IN SOCIETY TODAY,

WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO THEM WHEN THEY GROW UP?

FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE. THE BOY'S NOT A CRIMINAL.

I DIDN'T SAY HE WAS.

WHAT HE DOES AT HOME IS NONE OF OUR BUSINESS,

BUT WHEN HE GETS OUT ON THE STREET

HE'S GONNA HAVE TO ANSWER TO US.

I CAN SHOW YOU IN THE STATUTE BOOK.

THE MINIMUM PUNISHMENT FOR THIS OFFENSE

IS IMPOUNDING THE BICYCLE FOR ONE WEEK.

WELL, YOU CAN'T DO IT.

I DEMAND YOU RETURN THAT BIKE AND NOW!

NOW YOU LOOK HERE.

YOU'RE THAT BOY'S FATHER.

YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS ACTIONS.

HE'S TOO YOUNG TO BE LOCKED UP,

BUT IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA TAKE RESPONSIBILITY

MAYBE I OUGHT TO LOCK YOU UP.

YOU EVER THINK OF THAT?

YEAH. WELL, MY DAD AIN'T SCARED OF THAT. ARE YOU?

MAKE THEM PUT YOU IN JAIL. THAT'LL SHOW 'EM!

GO ON, DAD.

SHOW THEM THEY CAN'T PUSH ME AROUND.

GO ON. PUT HIM IN JAIL. HE WON'T CARE!

HOW'S THAT?

MY DAD'LL SHOW YA.

HE'S TOUGH.

YOU, UH...

YOU WANT ME TO LOCK YOUR FATHER UP?

HE AIN'T AFRAID OF YA!

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE MY BRAND-NEW BIKE.

I JUST GOT IT.

YOU'D RATHER I PUT YOUR FATHER IN JAIL?

I WANT MY BIKE!

SHERIFF, THERE WON'T BE ANY NEED TO IMPOUND THAT BIKE.

HOW'S THAT?

I'D LIKE TO HAVE IT. I WANT TO SELL IT.

SELL IT? YOU'RE GONNA SELL MY BIKE?

THAT'S RIGHT, ARNOLD.

BUT IT'S MY BIKE! YOU CAN'T SELL MY BIKE!

BE QUIET, ARNOLD.

BARNEY, YOU WANT TO GO GET THE BICYCLE?

10-4.

NO, NO, NO, NO!

I WON'T LET YOU! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!

ARNOLD, BE QUIET.

MR. WINKLER, WOULD YOU LIKE TO CONTINUE

THIS FATHER AND SON DISCUSSION IN QUIET?

I SAY, WOULD YOU LIKE TO CONTINUE THIS IN QUIET?

THERE'S A REAL NICE WOODSHED OUT BACK.

WOODSHED?

MM-HMM.

A GOOD OLD

REAL NICE ONE.

MM-HMM.

COME ON, ARNOLD.

NO, I WANT MY BIKE!

I WANT MY BIKE! I WANT MY BIKE!

IS ARNIE GONNA GET SPANKED, PAW?

DON'T YOU THINK HE DESERVES IT?

I DON'T WANNA SAY.

AFTER ALL, HE IS ONE OF MY OWN KIND.

HI, PAW.

HI, SON.

CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A MINUTE?

SURE.

WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND?

WELL, I'VE BEEN DOING A LOT OF THINKING.

GOOD FOR THE HEAD.

AND I WAS WONDERING IF, BY ANY CHANCE,

YOU MIGHT NEED A PERSON TO CLEAN THE GARAGE

AND DO ODD JOBS AROUND.

YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY YOU SHOULD ASK AT THIS TIME.

THERE HAPPENS TO BE A RECENT VACANCY IN THAT DEPARTMENT.

OH, BOY!

WELL, WHAT PERSON DID YOU HAVE IN MIND?

OPIE TAYLOR. UH-HUH.

I'M SORRY ABOUT THE WAY I ACTED, PAW.

WHAT'S DONE IS DONE.

WELL, LET'S SEE.

UH, CLEANING OUT THE GARAGE,

HAULING OUT THE ASHES, SETTING THE TABLE.

THAT OUGHT TO BE WORTH ABOUT, OH, SAY, UH...

25 CENTS A WEEK, OKAY?

SOUNDS FINE TO ME, PAW.

GOOD.

OPE.

YEAH, PAW?

IT WAS KIND OF HARD FOR YOU TO APOLOGIZE, WASN'T IT?

KIND OF.

WELL, SUPPOSE WE MAKE THAT, UH, 27 CENTS A WEEK.

THAT'S A DOLLAR MORE A YEAR.

YEAH.

WHAT YOU GONNA DO WITH ALL YOUR MONEY?

SAVE UP FOR A BELL.

A BELL?

UH-HUH. THEN SAVE UP FOR A BIKE TO PUT UNDER IT.