Original subtitles

STARRING ANDY GRIFFITH...

WITH RONNY HOWARD...

ALSO STARRING DON KNOTTS.

BOY, WHEN THAT DYNAMITE GOES OFF

IT MAKES A RACKET, DON'T IT?

AH, BUT, GENTLEMEN, THAT NOISE IS THE SOUND OF PROGRESS.

DOESN'T IT MAKE YOU PROUD TO KNOW

THAT MAYBERRY'S GOING TO HAVE ITS OWN UNDERPASS?

BY JOLLY, BOYS, THOSE EXPLOSIONS

ARE CHANGING THE FACE OF THIS TOWN.

Andy: HOWDY, HUDGE.

SHERIFF.

HELLO, HUDGE.

WELL, HOWDY, MAYOR.

EH, FLOYD, CAN YOU TAKE ME FOR A HAIRCUT?

FLOYD AIN'T BACK THERE, HUDGE.

HE'S OUT TO LUNCH. WE ALL WAITIN' FOR HIM.

LUNCH?

MM-HMM. YOU KNOW FLOYD. TAKES A HOUR OR MORE.

SAYS IF HE COMES BACK TO WORK RIGHT AFTER EATIN'

IT ALL GOES DOWN TO HIS LEGS.

WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' WITH THAT GOAT IN HERE?

HUH?

YOU JUST DON'T BRING A GOAT INTO A BARBERSHOP.

IT SEEMS TO ME YOU'D KNOW THAT.

MAYOR'S RIGHT, HUDGE.

YOU REALLY OUGHTN'T BRING HIM INSIDE.

WHY DIDN'T YOU LEAVE HIM HOME ANYHOW?

WELL, I THOUGHT HE MIGHT LIKE IT.

AND I BEEN PROMISIN' TO BRING HIM UPTOWN.

WELL, BESIDES, I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE HIM HOME

ALL BY HISSELF.

ALL THAT BLASTING'S MADE HIM AWFUL JITTERY.

IT'LL BE OVER IN ANOTHER DAY OR TWO.

ANIMALS WANDERING AROUND ALL OVER TOWN.

I AM TRYING TO MAKE SOMETHING

OUT OF MAYBERRY.

WHY, WITH THAT NEW UNDERPASS

WE COULD BE A REAL METROPOLIS--

IF SOME FOLKS WOULD JUST STOP TURNING

MAIN STREET INTO A FARMYARD.

NOW YOU JUST MARCH HIM OUT OF HERE.

WELL, LEAVE ME TELL YOU SOMETHIN'.

FOLKS IS SAYIN' THE MAIN REASON

THAT UNDERPASS IS GOIN' IN IS TO BRING THE HIGHWAY

PAST YOUR BROTHER'S FILLIN' STATION.

THAT IS A LIE.

THAT IS AN OUTRIGHT LIE.

MAY HEAVEN STRIKE ME IF THAT'S NOT A LIE.

COME ON, JIMMY.

COME ON.

I'LL SEE YOU, HUDGE.

YEAH.

COME ON, JIMMY.

HERE.

NOW, JIMMY, YOU STAY. YOU STAY RIGHT HERE.

LOOK, I GOT ME SOME ERRANDS TO RUN.

YOU STAY UNTIL I GET BACK.

THAT OLD BUZZARD.

MAYBE NOW YOU'LL BELIEVE ME WHEN I TRY TO TELL YOU

THAT COMIN' UPTOWN IS NO BIG DEAL.

WHAT -- WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' IN HERE?

WHAT IN THE WORLD?

GET, GET OUT OF HERE.

COME ON, GET OUT OF HERE. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

COME ON. COME ON. GET OUT OF HERE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN HERE? COME ON, GET OUT OF HERE.

COME ON, GET, GET, GET!

GOATS.

THAT'S GOOD, BARNEY.

YOU GETTIN' GOOD ON THAT PIECE.

WELL, I BEEN WORKIN' ON IT NIGHTS.

THAT'S GOOD.

ANY PHONE CALLS?

NO, JUST OLD MISS VICKERS.

EVERY TIME A BLAST GOES OFF

SHE CALLS ASKIN' IF IT'S YANKEE CANNONS

COMIN' DOWN THE ROAD.

SHERIFF'S OFFICE.

YES, MISS VICKERS.

NO, MA'AM, THAT'S JUST BLASTIN' ON THE UNDERPASS.

YES, MA'AM, WE'RE STILL HOLDIN' ON TO RICHMOND.

I DON'T BELIEVE I CONVINCED HER.

HUH. POOR OLD SOUL.

YEAH.

SHERIFF. SHERIFF, HE'S GONE.

HE'S GONE.

WHO'S GONE?

JIMMY, MY GOAT.

I LEFT HIM OUT FRONT AND TOLD HIM TO STAY PUT

AND WHEN I GOT BACK, HE WAS GONE.

I CAN'T IMAGINE WHERE HE'S GONE TO.

HE WAS IN HERE JUST A MINUTE AGO.

JIMMY WAS HERE?

I'LL BE DOGGED, BARNEY.

HE LIKED YOUR FRENCH HARP PLAYING.

HE MUST BE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD SOMEWHERE.

HUDGE, YOU GO AROUND THAT WAY

AND ME AND BARNEY WILL CHECK UP

THROUGH THE ALLEY.

I SURE HOPE HE DON'T DO NO DAMAGE.

YOU KNOW THAT FOOL GOAT WILL EAT ANYTHING

HE CAN GET HIS TEETH INTO.

SEE ANYTHING, ANDY?

NO.

HEY, OTIS?

LISTEN, MAYBE YOU CAN HELP US.

OH, I'M AFRAID NOT.

HOW WOULD I KNOW

ABOUT ANYBODY SELLING MOONSHINE, HUH?

WE'RE NOT LOOKIN' FOR A STILL, OTIS.

WITH ALL THE EXPLOSIONS GOING ON,

I WAS OUT GETTIN' SOME TRANQUILIZERS... YOU'RE NOT?

NO, WE'RE NOT, OTIS.

HAVE YOU SEEN A BIG BILLY GOAT

GREY HAIR WITH LONG WHITE WHISKERS?

OH, NO, NO, I HAVEN'T SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THAT.

BUT I WILL. I WILL.

HI, PA.

OH, HI, SON. YOU SEEN MR. HUDGINS AROUND?

OH, HUDGE MUST HAVE CAUGHT HIM BY NOW, ANDY.

CAUGHT WHO? YOU AFTER A CROOK?

NO, WE'RE LOOKING FOR MR. HUDGINS' GOAT.

OH. I SAW A GOAT BACK IN THE HARDWARE STORE,

BY THAT OLD SHED.

OH, GOOD. THANKS, OPE.

COME ON, BARN.

WELL, YOU CHECK BACK OF THE STORE

I'LL CHECK THE OTHER END OF THE ALLEY.

THINK HE MIGHT HAVE GONE IN THIS SHED?

I DON'T KNOW. TAKE A LOOK.

JIMMY?

YOU IN HERE, JIMMY?

WHAT'S THE MATTER, BARN?

SOMETHIN' WRONG?

LOOKY THERE.

WHAT'S THAT?

THAT'S JIMMY'S ROPE.

HE'S BEEN HERE, ALL RIGHT.

HE HAS?

YEAH. AND WHAT'S MORE, HE HAD LUNCH HERE.

LUNCH?

YOU MEAN HE ATE DYNAMITE?

HUDGE SAID HE'D EAT ABOUT ANYTHING

AND HE SURE DID.

ANDY, ARE YOU...

ARE YOU SAYING THAT...?

SOMEWHERE WANDERIN' LOOSE AROUND MAYBERRY IS...

A LOADED GOAT.

A GOAT FULL OF DYNAMITE?

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO?

WELL, THE MAIN THING IS TO STAY CALM.

THAT'S RIGHT, NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.

NO SENSE GETTIN' IN A PANIC.

JUST STAY CALM AND COOL AND...

THERE HE GOES!

NO, NO, THAT'S JUST BLASTIN' ON THE HIGHWAY.

NOW, REMEMBER, WHEN WE DO CATCH UP WITH HIM, EASY DOES IT.

TREAT HIM EXTRA GENTLE.

JIMMY--

HEY, HEY, JIMMY... JIMMY, YOU GET...

WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU?

I AIN'T EVER GONNA BRING YOU UPTOWN AGAIN.

OH, I HATE TO DO THIS

BUT I AM GONNA GIVE YOU A GOOD KICK

JUST TO TEACH YOU A LESSON.

HUDGE!

DON'T KICK THE GOAT.

HUH?

THAT GOAT ATE ITSELF FULL OF DYNAMITE.

DYNAMITE?

YEAH, ONE SWIFT KICK AND BLOOEY.

BARNEY, GO UP TO THE HIGHWAY CREW

AND BRING BACK THEIR BLASTIN' ENGINEER.

MAYBE HE CAN HELP US.

EATIN' DYNAMITE.

NOW AIN'T THAT THE WAY IT ALWAYS IS?

FIRST TIME HE COMES UPTOWN

HE FIGURES HE'S GOT TO DO EVERYTHING.

WELL, I GOTTA ADMIT, SHERIFF.

IT'S SURE A NEW ONE ON ME.

HEY, YOU'D BETTER KEEP THAT ON.

YOU GOT ANY IDEA HOW MUCH DYNAMITE'S IN HIM?

OH, PROBABLY QUITE A BIT.

HE'S GOT A VERY HEALTHY APPETITE.

IS THERE ANYTHING WE CAN DO?

WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE YOU A DOING

ABOUT ALL YOU CAN DO.

THE MORE HAY HE EATS, THE BETTER.

IT COULD KIND OF CUSHION HIS INSIDES.

YOU THINK HE COULD GO OFF?

FRIEND, I'VE BEEN WORKING WITH EXPLOSIVES

FOR 20 YEARS, AND I'VE LEARNED

THERE'S ONLY ONE THING YOU CAN BE SURE OF--

AND THAT'S THAT THERE'S NOTHING

YOU CAN BE SURE OF.

WELL...

GOOD DAY, GENTLEMEN.

NO SMOKIN'!

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH YOU?

ARE YOU CRAZY?

THAT GOAT IN THERE ATE ITSELF FULL OF DYNAMITE.

DYNAMITE!

SO, NO SMOKIN' OR OPEN FIRES

OR RADIO TRANSMISSION

WITHIN A HUNDRED FEET.

DYNAMITE?

I-UH...

A-A-A GOAT FULL OF DYNAMITE?

MM-HMM. AND LOTS OF IT.

HE HAS ALWAYS HAD A GOOD APPETITE.

WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST PICK HIM UP AND JUST...

THROW HIM OUT OF TOWN?

WELL, WE CAN'T DO THAT, MAYOR.

SAFEST THINGS IS JUST NOT JOSTLE HIM--

KEEP HIM EXTRA QUIET.

ONE WRONG MOVE AND EVERYTHING GOES BLOOEY.

IS IT POSSIBLE-- I...

I MEAN, COULD A-A GOAT...

BLOOEY?

MR. BURTON HERE SAYS ANYTHING'S POSSIBLE.

OH, MY.

ANYTHING MORE WE CAN DO?

ANYTHING, ANYTHING AT ALL.

WELL, TO PREVENT ANY CHAIN REACTION

WE COULD STOP OUR BLASTING.

BUT THAT'D DELAY THE UNDERPASS...

AND I PROMISED MY BROTHER

IT'D BE FINISHED BY...

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT-- STOP THE BLASTING.

WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF THE GOAT DID GO OFF?

THESE WALLS ARE PRETTY THICK.

MOST OF THE DESTRUCTIVE FORCE WOULD GO STRAIGHT UP.

STRAIGHT UP?

BUTOFFICE IS UP THERE.

THERE'S NOTHING ELSE I CAN TELL YOU, SHERIFF.

I'LL HAVE TO BE GETTING BACK.

I'D BETTER EVACUATE SOME OF MY IMPORTANT PAPERS.

BUT I'LL TELL YOU WHAT OUGHT TO BE DONE.

THAT ANIMAL SHOULD BE DESTROYED IMMEDIATELY.

HOW WOULD YOU PROPOSE WE DO THAT?

YOU'VE GOT A LOT OF GUNS HERE -- SHOOT HIM.

SHOOT HIM?

SHOOT HIM-- WITH A GUN.

ALL RIGHT.

THERE YOU ARE, MAYOR.

YOU DO IT.

HMM?

YOU DO IT.

OH, BUT, I-I-I'VE...

MAYOR, WHEN YOU SHOOT THAT GOAT

HE'S GOING TO FALL DOWN, AIN'T HE?

YES.

AND WHEN HE FALLS DOWN, BEING FULL OF DYNAMITE

WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN?

BLOOEY.

SO LONG, MAYOR.

WELL, UH...

WELL, I'D...

SURELY THERE MUST BE A MORE HUMANE WAY OF DOING THIS

BUT IN THE INTEREST OF PUBLIC SAFETY

I WANT THAT GOAT OUT OF HERE.

I WANT HIM OUT OF THIS TOWN.

WH-- WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, SHERIFF?

JIMMY DIDN'T MEAN NO HARM.

IT'S LIKE I SAY.

HE'S GOT A HEALTHY APPETITE-- THAT'S ALL.

HUH. HATE TO SEE ANYTHING HAPPEN TO HIM.

HE'S BEEN LIKE A FRIEND TO ME.

YOU BETTER GO ON HOME, HUDGE.

LEAVE IT TO US.

WE'LL TRY TO THINK OF SOMETHING.

ALL RIGHT.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, ANDY?

I DON'T KNOW.

I SUSPECT THE MAYOR'S RIGHT, THOUGH.

WE GOT TO GET HIM OUT OF TOWN.

I SURE DON'T KNOW HOW.

WE'LL JUST HAVE TO GENTLE HIM OUT.

I GOT TO GO GET SOME MORE HAY.

YOU COME ALONG, TOO, AND GET SOME MORE PILLOWS

AND THINGS TO PAD THE PLACE.

INNKEEPER!

INNKEEPER!

INNKEEPER!

I WONDER IF IT'S A HOLIDAY.

* I'LL GET A LITTLE REST...

* OOP-DEE, DOOP-DEE DO.

* BEE-DOO-BEE

OH.

OH... BOY.

IT'S GONNA FEEL SO GOOD.

OH...

OH, BABY'S SLEEPY.

WHOA! WHOA!

WHOO!

WOW, THAT'S A NEW ONE.

FIRST TIME I EVER FELL OFF A BED ONTO THE WALL.

OH, BOY.

OH, BOY.

WHOO...

OH, THE HECK WITH IT.

I THINK I'LL JUST WAIT

FOR THE WORLD TO TURN AROUND A LITTLE MORE.

UNCLE NAT?

WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE?

WELL, YOU'RE NOT UNCLE NAT.

YOU'RE A GOAT.

WHAT ARE--

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE, ANYWAY?

OKAY, THIS IS MY CELL

AND I DON'T SHARE MY CELL WITH ANYBODY!

THIS IS A DECENT PLACE OF DETENTION

AND IT'S NOT A MENAGERIE

AND IF YOU DON'T WANT A ROPE ON THAT THROAT

THEN YOU GET.

ALL RIGHT, PAL.

TO EACH HIS OWN.

OH, IT'S-- HE LOOKS MAD. OHH!

Otis: OH, WATCH OUT, ANDY.

OTIS, WHAT'D YOU DO?

THAT'S A MAD GOAT.

WHAT'D YOU DO, OTIS?

HE WAS IN MY CELL, ANDY.

WHAT IS THIS, THE MIDDLE AGES?

IMPOUNDING HUMAN BEINGS WITH ANIMALS?

OTIS, THAT GOAT'S A DANGEROUS WEAPON.

HE'S FULL OF DYNAMITE.

HUH?

YES, HE ATE A CASE OF DYNAMITE.

YOU WOULD HAVE TO SHOW UP TODAY, OTIS.

ABOUT ONE LOADED GOAT AT A TIME IS ALL WE CAN HANDLE.

DYNAMITE?

THAT GOAT'S FILLED WITH DY...?

Andy: BARNEY, WATCH HIM!

CAREFUL, BARNEY, THE GOAT'S MAD.

WHAT HAPPENED?

OTIS KICKED HIM OUT OF THE CELL, AND HE GOT MAD.

WHY DIDN'T SOMEBODY TELL ME?

WHY DIDN'T SOMEBODY GIVE ME WARNING?

WHY DIDN'T YOU TIE SOMETHING RED ON HIS TAIL? THAT WAY, HE --

SHUT UP, OTIS. JUST SHUT UP.

YOU KNOW WHAT'LL HAPPEN IF THAT GOAT BUTTS AGAINST ANYTHING?

BLOOEY!

YOU KNOW WHAT'LL HAPPEN IF HE BUTTS AGAINST YOU

WITH ALL THAT ALCOHOL IN YA-- YOU'LL BOTH BLOW UP.

OHH. OHH.

WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO, ANDY?

I DON'T KNOW.

JUST EASY-- JUST TAKE IT EASY.

HOW WE GONNA CALM HIM DOWN?

LOOK AT HIM -- HE'S LIABLE TO CHARGE THIS DESK ANY MINUTE.

JUST STAY CALM, BARN, STAY CALM.

DARN THAT STUPID GOAT FOR COMING IN HERE IN THE FIRST PLACE.

IF WE EVER GET OUT OF THIS ALIVE

I'M GOING TO TAKE THAT CY HUDGINS PERSONALLY

AND I'M GOING TO...

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU GOT YOUR FRENCH HARP ON YOU?

HUH?

HAVE YOU GOT YOUR FRENCH HARP ON YOU?

AT A TIME LIKE THIS YOU WANT ME TO PLAY THE FRENCH HARP?

HAVE YOU GOT YOUR FRENCH HARP ON YOU OR AIN'T YA?

YEAH.

GOOD, GOOD. PLAY.

PLAY?

PLAY.

ARE YOU HAVIN' A SPELL?

BARNEY, PLAY.

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO PLAY?

PLAY THE ONE YOU BEEN PRACTICIN' ON-- PLAY.

GOOD. GOOD.

KEEP PLAYIN'.

KEEP PLAYIN,' BARNEY.

JUST KEEP PLAYIN.'

SEE THERE?

HE DON'T LOOK SO MAD ANYMORE.

ANDY, WHAT DO...

KEEP PLAYIN.'

EASE DOWN OFF THE DESK.

EASE DOWN.

THAT'S GOOD.

KEEP PLAYIN'.

NOW, WORK YOUR WAY TO THE DOOR.

THAT'S RIGHT.

THAT'S GOOD.

THAT'S GOOD.

NOW...

HERE WE GO.

NOW START WALKIN'.

PLAY GOOD; PLAY EXTRA GOOD.

YOU MAY GO DOWN IN HISTORY

AS THE FIRST MAN TO EVER LEAD

A LOADED GOAT OUT OF TOWN.

WATCH IT, BARNEY. WATCH IT, BARNEY.

A CLINKER MIGHT SET HIM OFF.

YOU WANT TO GET THAT STUFF TOGETHER IN THERE, BARN?

SARAH, GET ME MR. BURTON OVER AT THE BLASTING.

I SURE AM GLAD IT'S OVER. I'M ABOUT PLAYED OUT.

YEAH, THAT'S PROBABLY THE FIRST TIME

A DEPUTY EVER GOT CHAPPED LIPS IN THE LINE OF DUTY.

UH, MR. BURTON? SHERIFF TAYLOR.

YOU CAN START UP YOUR BLASTIN' AGAIN.

YEAH, WE GOT JIMMY STAKED OUT IN A NICE FIELD WAY OUT OF TOWN.

YEAH, I'M SURE HE'LL BE FINE.

MUCH OBLIGED.

RIGHT. BYE.

HE'S A NICE FELLA.

MIGHT AS WELL GET THIS STUFF OUT OF HERE.

YEAH.

YES. YES, HUDGE.

AND I'LL JUST STAND BY HERE

IN CASE ANY OFFICIAL CALLS COME IN WHILE THEY'RE GONE.

WELL, I SURE HOPE NOTHING HAPPENS TO THEM.

YOU SUPPOSE THAT WAS -- WAS...

IT COULD ONLY BE THEM.

THEY'VE STOPPED BLASTING ON THE HIGHWAY.

IT WAS THEM...

BOTH OF THEM...

SNUFFED OUT JUST LIKE THAT.

PROBABLY JIMMY, TOO.

TWO BRAVE, BRAVE PUBLIC SERVANTS,

WHO GAVE THEIR ALL IN THE LINE OF DUTY.

OH, I DON'T DENY WE HAD OUR DIFFERENCES,

BUT NOBODY CAN DOUBT THAT SHERIFF ANDREW TAYLOR

WAS A FINE MAN -- COURAGEOUS, LOYAL, DEDICATED.

LITTLE FELLA WAS NICE, TOO.

INDEED, YES.

DEPUTY FIFE WILL ALSO GO DOWN

IN THE ANNALS OF MAYBERRY HISTORY

AS A MAN OF UNSWERVING DEVOTION TO DUTY,

OF UNCHALLENGED CHARACTER, OF THE HIGHEST IDEALS.

WHAT MORE CAN I SAY?

WHAT MORE?

UH.

WELL...

DO YOU WANT TO RUN THROUGH THAT PART AGAIN

ABOUT BEING LOYAL AND COURAGEOUS?

DON'T LEAVE OUT ABOUT MY UNCHALLENGED CHARACTER.

MUCH OBLIGED, MAYOR!