Original subtitles

STARRING ANDY GRIFFITH...

WITH RONNY HOWARD...

ALSO STARRING DON KNOTTS.

WONDERFUL SERMON, PASTOR.

JUST WONDERFUL.

THANK YOU, SHERIFF.

I DON'T BELIEVE THAT MY MESSAGE

WAS REACHING DEPUTY FIFE, HOWEVER.

YOU APPEARED TO BE NODDING.

OH, WELL, IT'S MY FAULT IF BARNEY WAS SNOOZING A LITTLE.

SEE, I HAD HIM OUT TILL 4:00 THIS MORNING

ON A CHICKEN STAKEOUT.

WE GOT A TIP THAT BUZZ JENKINS

HAS BEEN LIFTING A FEW FRYERS

FROM AL'S POULTRY HEADQUARTERS.

OH, DEAR. OH, DEAR.

DO YOU KNOW BUZZ?

THAT'S WHERE I'M HAVING SUPPER THIS EVENING.

OPIE, YOU STOP ROUGHHOUSING

IN YOUR SUNDAY SUIT.

NOW, BOYS WILL BE BOYS, YOU KNOW.

HE THINKS BLUE SERGE GROWS ON TREES.

OPIE, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

SAME THING HE DOES EVERY TIME HE WEARS THAT SUIT--

HE'S PULLING HORSEHAIRS OUT OF THE LAPELS.

OPIE, QUIT THAT!

YOU WANT YOUR SUIT TO GET SOFT?

WELL, I GOT TO RUN. I'M DUE OVER AT THELMA LOU'S.

OKAY, BARN. WE'LL SEE YOU AT SUPPER.

CAN I SEE YOU, ANDY?

EXCUSE US, PASTOR.

EXCUSE US.

CAN YOU LEND ME 50 CENTS?

I PROMISED THELMA LOU

I'D PICK UP A SUNDAY PAPER

THEN GET HER A COUPLE OF FROZEN SUNNY JIM BARS.

THANKS.

GOOD SABBATH, PASTOR.

BLESS YOU, DEPUTY.

WELL, WE BETTER GO ON, TOO.

SEE YOU SUNDAY, PASTOR.

GOOD SABBATH TO YOU.

GOOD SABBATH.

HE'S THE BEST PREACHER WE EVER HAD.

LET'S GO, OPE.

IN A MINUTE, PA.

JOHNNY PAUL AND ME ARE TRADING.

HE GIVE ME THIS PENNY THAT WAS RUN OVER BY A TRAIN

FOR A HORSEHAIR.

LEAVE THEM HORSEHAIRS BE.

WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH THEM ANYWAY?

JOHNNY PAUL SAYS IF YOU PUT A HORSEHAIR IN STAGNATION WATER

IT WILL TURN INTO A SNAKE.

NO MORE TRADING ON SUNDAY.

COME ON.

ALL RIGHT, THERE YOU GO.

THERE YOU ARE, AUNT BEE.

WHAT YOU WANT WITH A MASHED PENNY?

I'LL FIX IT UP, EVENTUALLY BUY SOMETHING.

SHERIFF.

YES, SIR?

YOU A SHERIFF TAYLOR, AREN'T YOU?

YES. SOMETHING I CAN DO FOR YOU?

WELL, I HOPE SO.

MY NAME IS TUCKER-- MALCOLM TUCKER.

MY CAR BROKE DOWN ABOUT TWO MILES OUT OF TOWN.

OH, THAT'S A SHAME.

I HAVE A BUSINESS ENGAGEMENT

IN CHARLOTTE IN THE MORNING.

I HAVE TO GET THAT CAR FIXED.

I'LL DROP THE FAMILY OFF HOME,

THEN RUN YOU OVER TO WALLY'S FILLING STATION.

GET RIGHT ON IN THERE.

IT'S ONLY FAIR TO WARN YOU, THOUGH,

THE STATION JUST BARELY IS OPEN.

WALLY, THE OWNER--

HE DON'T EVEN SHOW UP ON SUNDAY.

IF IT'S OPEN, THERE'LL BE SOMEONE THERE.

DEPENDS ON HOW YOU LOOK AT IT.

GOMER PYLE'S IN CHARGE.

GOOD. HE'LL FIX IT.

I WOULDN'T COUNT ON IT.

WELL, NOW, HERE'S WHAT YOU DO.

YOU DRIVE THE CAR UP HERE TO THE PUMP

AND I'LL FILL HER UP WITH GAS.

I TOLD YOU, I'VE GOT PLENTY OF GAS.

COULD BE YOUR GAUGE.

SOMETIMES SHE'LL TELL YOU "F" WHEN YOU REALLY

GOT YOURSELF A "E."

"E" MEANS IT'S EMPTY, "F" MEANS IT'S FULL.

I KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.

GOMER, IF MR. TUCKER SAYS HE'S GOT GAS

WHY, HE'S GOT GAS.

NOW, LOOK, ALL I WANT YOU TO DO

IS COME WITH ME AND LOOK AT MY MOTOR.

I'D BE HAPPY TO LOOK AT YOUR MOTOR.

I'M SURE IT'S A SIGHT TO BEHOLD.

BUT I DON'T KNOW NOTHING... GOMER CAN'T HELP YOU, MR. TUCKER.

HE'S NOT A MECHANIC.

WALLY'S THE MAN YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SEE.

THAT WALLY-- WHEN IT COMES TO MOTORS,

HE'S SURE GOT A GREEN THUMB.

THEN LET'S FIND WALLY.

NOT ON SUNDAY.

WHAT?

WHY DON'T YOU JUST FIGURE

ON STAYIN' OVER, MR. TUCKER?

IT'S NIGH IMPOSSIBLE

TO GET ANYTHING DONE HERE ON SUNDAY.

I TOLD YOU, I CAN'T STAY.

MY BUSINESS IS URGENT.

NOW, PLEASE, TAKE ME TO WALLY.

IT WON'T DO YOU ANY GOOD.

WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.

I'LL SEE YOU, GOMER.

LOTS OF LUCK TO YOU AND YOURS.

WHY DO THEY LEAVE A BOY LIKE THAT IN CHARGE?

IT'S JUST A PART-TIME JOB.

HE'S SAVING UP MONEY FOR COLLEGE.

HE'S STUDYING TO BE A DOCTOR.

HOWDY, WALLY.

ANDY.

WALLY, THIS HERE IS MR. TUCKER.

WATCH YOUR FOOT.

I'M GOING TO ROCK FORWARD.

MR. TUCKER'S CAR BROKE DOWN.

HE NEEDS SOME MECHANICAL WORK.

UH-HUH. UH-HUH.

WHERE'S YOUR CAR NOW?

ABOUT TWO MILES OUT OF TOWN ON HIGHWAY 43.

WHAT DID SHE SOUND LIKE BEFORE SHE STOPPED ON YOU?

WELL, IT CHOKED UP.

IT SEEMED TO ME LIKE IT WASN'T GETTING ANY GAS.

HE'S GOT GAS IN THE TANK, THOUGH.

LOTS OF GAS.

DID IT SOUND SOMETHING LIKE THIS?

FIRST, IT RAN SMOOTH,

THEN IT KIND OF CHH-CHH-CHH-CHH!

THEN IT RAN SMOOTH AGAIN.

THEN ANOTHER CHH-CHH-CHH-CHH!

THEN WHOOSH-CHRR-PTT-PTT!

THEN SHE DIES?

YES, THAT'S IT.

UH-HUH, YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF A CLOGGED FUEL LINE.

HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?

FROM THE SOUND.

YOU'LL FIX IT FOR ME, THEN?

BE HAPPY TO. FINE, FINE.

JUST AN HOUR'S WORK.

WE'LL TOW HER IN TOMORROW MORNING, GET RIGHT ON IT.

DID YOU SEE MOON MULLINS YET? YEAH, AT BREAKFAST.

NOW, DON'T TELL ME. LET ME FIND IT.

TOMORROW MORNING?!

I'VE GOT TO GET THAT CAR FIXED NOW!

TODAY! THIS MINUTE!

I'VE GOT TO BE IN CHARLOTTE.

CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND THAT?

I COULDN'T DO IT.

WE'RE CLOSED ON SUNDAY.

YOU REFUSE TO HELP ME, THEN?

IF IT WAS AN EMERGENCY...

IT IS AN EMERGENCY!

MR. TUCKER, IF...

NOW, WE KNOW IT'S THE FUEL LINE,

AND YOUR BOSS SAYS

IT'S A COMPARATIVELY SIMPLE REPAIR.

HE'S A WONDERFUL MAN.

HE CAN TAKE A MOTOR APART

AND PUT IT TOGETHER RIGHT 'FORE YOUR EYES.

SEEN HIM DO IT ONCE.

I SAID, "HEY, YOU TOOK THAT MOTOR APART

AND PUT IT TOGETHER RIGHT 'FORE MY EYES."

YOU KNOW WHAT HE SAID?

SAID, "COULD DO IT AGAIN IF YOU WANTED TO."

HE WOULD, EXCEPT IT WAS GETTIN' DARK.

NOW, THINK.

SOMEBODY, BESIDES WALLY, CAN FIX MY CAR.

NOW, WHO?

WHO?

WHO?

MY COUSIN GOOBER, THAT'S WHO.

HE KNOWS ABOUT MOTORS?

HE HOPPED UP AN OLD V-8 ENGINE AND PUT IT ON HIS ROWBOAT.

THAT THING WILL DO 80.

THAT'S FAST ON WATER.

WHAT'S HIS NUMBER?

THREE-SEVEN-ONE-J.

I'LL PHONE HIM.

HE AIN'T HOME.

WHERE IS HE?

ON SUNDAY, HE'S ALWAYS OUT ON HIS BOAT.

HEY! HEY, COME BACK HERE!

HELLO, SARAH?

GET ME SHERIFF TAYLOR, QUICK!

BY RIGHTS, I OUGHT TO ARREST YOU

FOR STEALING THAT TRUCK.

BUT I WON'T BECAUSE I REALIZE

YOU GOT A PROBLEM.

YOU PROBABLY JUST WASN'T THINKIN'.

HERE'S THE KEYS, GOMER.

THANKS, ANDY.

I'LL KEEP THEM IN MY POCKET

FROM HERE ON IN.

NOW, MR. TUCKER, WHY DON'T YOU

JUST COME ON HOME WITH ME

'FORE YOU GET IN ANY MORE TROUBLE?

I'M WILLING TO FORGET IT THIS TIME

BUT NEXT TIME I MIGHT NOT BE SO WILLING.

I AM ENTITLED TO MAKE ONE PHONE CALL

UNDER THE LAW, AM I NOT?

YOU'RE NOT UNDER ARREST.

YOU CAN MAKE ALL THE PHONE CALLS YOU WANT.

IT WON'T DO YOU ANY GOOD, THOUGH.

THE MENDELBRIGHT SISTERS VISIT BY PHONE

EVERY SUNDAY AFTERNOON.

EVERYBODY KNOWS ABOUT MAUDE AND CORA,

AND THEY LET THEM USE THE PHONE

FOR A GOOD THREE OR FOUR HOURS.

OH, FOR PETE'S SAKE.

MAUDE LIVES HERE AND CORA LIVES IN MOUNT PILOT.

THEY'RE IN THEIR 80s.

IT'S KIND OF HARD FOR THEM TO GET ABOUT.

NOW, COME ON HOME WITH ME, MR. TUCKER.

NO MECHANICS, ONE GAS STATION OPEN,

PEOPLE ALLOWED TO USE THE PHONE ALL DAY LONG...

I'VE BEEN IN TOWNS IN MY TIME,

BUT THIS BEATS THEM ALL.

So first, my right foot started tingling

and then my left foot began tingling.

Oh, I've had that.

You know what it is? No.

Would you like to know? If you'd like to tell me.

Your foot's asleep.

Oh, I declare.

That's what I said.

I TOLD YOU.

THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

WASTING VALUABLE TIME ON DRIVEL.

TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE'S FEET FALLING ASLEEP.

IT'S PROBABLY MAUDE.

CORA, TOO. I WONDER WHAT CAUSES THAT?

I DON'T KNOW.

I HAVE THAT EVERY NOW AND THEN.

MAYBE I OUGHT TO GO SEE THEIR DOCTOR.

Aunt Bee: SUPPER'S READY, BOYS!

OPIE! SUPPER!

COME ON, SIT DOWN

AND HAVE SOMETHING, MR. TUCKER.

I AM NOT HUNGRY, THANK YOU.

I KNOW FOR A FACT

YOU AIN'T EAT A BITE ALL DAY.

I AM NOT HUNGRY, THANK YOU.

YOU'RE THE DOCTOR.

AREN'T YOU GOING TO EAT ANYTHING, MR. TUCKER?

NO. NO, THANK YOU.

CHICKEN LEG, MR. TUCKER?

NO, THANK YOU.

HOW ABOUT SOME NICE, CLEAR CHICKEN BROTH?

THANK YOU, NO.

You mean the daughter who went north to college?

No, no, no, Maude.

She went west.

The one with her father's nose.

Oh, of course. Moosey.

What about her?

Her feet fell asleep, too.

OUTRAGEOUS! SHEER IDIOCY!

I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS IS HAPPENING TO ME!

A PUBLIC UTILITY BEING TIED UP LIKE THIS!

YOU PEOPLE ARE LIVING IN ANOTHER WORLD!

EASY, MR. TUCKER.

THIS IS THE 20th CENTURY.

DON'T YOU REALIZE THAT?

THE WHOLE WORLD IS LIVING IN A DESPERATE SPACE AGE.

MEN ARE ORBITING THE EARTH.

INTERNATIONAL TELEVISION HAS BEEN DEVELOPED.

AND HERE, A WHOLE TOWN IS STANDING STILL

BECAUSE TWO OLD WOMEN'S FEET FALL ASLEEP!

I WONDER WHAT CAUSES THAT.

OH!

And the doctor says my feet fall asleep

because my high-button shoes are too tight.

What doctor is that?

The one who fixed my teeth.

He certainly should know.

LADIES, LADIES, EXCUSE ME A MOMENT.

Who's that, Cora?

I don't know.

I think someone's listening.

NO, WAIT, LADIES, PLEASE.

JUST A MOMENT.

HELLO, HELLO.

BOTH: Hello. Hello?

Who is this?

HELLO.

LADIES, JUST LISTEN A MOMENT.

MY NAME IS MALCOLM TUCKER.

Who?

MALCOLM TUCKER.

Of the Buffalo Tuckers?

NO. I'M FROM CHARLOTTE.

TUCKER ENTERPRISES.

AND I HAVE...

I knew Charlotte Tucker.

She married that man who fell down a lot.

She married that lens grinding man from Hutchinson, Kansas.

* NO PLACE IS SO DEAR TO MY CHILDHOOD *

* AS THE LITTLE BROWN CHURCH IN THE VALE *

* THERE'S A CHURCH IN THE VALLEY BY THE WILDWOOD *

* THE LOVELIEST SPOT IN THE VALE *

* NO PLACE IS SO DEAR TO MY CHILDHOOD *

* AS THE LITTLE BROWN CHURCH IN THE VALE *

* OH, COME, COME, COME, COME

* COME TO THE CHURCH IN THE WILDWOOD *

* OH, COME TO THE CHURCH IN THE VALE *

* NO PLACE IS SO DEAR TO MY CHILDHOOD *

* AS THE LITTLE BROWN CHURCH IN THE VALE *

* NO PLACE IS SO DEAR TO MY CHILDHOOD *

* AS THE LITTLE BROWN CHURCH IN THE VALE *

Gomer: HEY, MR. TUCKER.

YES, BOY? WHAT IS IT?

WELL...

EASY, GOMER. GET SOME BREATH.

MY COUSIN GOOBER'S BACK

AND HE'S GOING TO FIX YOUR CAR.

WE ALREADY TOWED IT INTO THE FILLING STATION.

GOOD. NOW WE'RE GETTING SOMEPLACE.

YOU TELL HIM TO HURRY IT UP.

SURE WILL.

NOW GOMER'S GOT YOU ALL KEYED UP AGAIN.

I'M NOT KEYED UP.

YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK I'M GOING TO DO?

WHAT?

I'M GOING TO GO HOME, HAVE ME A LITTLE NAP,

THEN GO OVER TO THELMA LOU'S

AND WATCH A LITTLE TV.

MM-HMM.

YEAH, I BELIEVE THAT'S WHAT I'LL DO.

GO HOME...

HAVE A NAP...

THEN OVER TO THELMA LOU'S FOR TV.

HMM.

YEP, THAT'S THE PLAN.

RIGHT HOME...

A LITTLE NAP...

FOR THE LOVE OF MIKE, DO IT! DO IT!

JUST DO IT!

GO TAKE A NAP!

GO TO THELMA LOU'S FOR TV!

JUST DO IT!

WHAT'S THE HURRY?

I'LL SEE YOU, AND.

MR. TUCKER.

DID YOU EVER TRY TO PEEL AN APPLE

WITHOUT BREAKING THE PEELING?

NO.

MR. TUCKER.

MY CAR READY?

NO.

GOOBER THINKS YOU NEED A NEW SET OF SPARK PLUGS.

WELL, CHANGE THEM.

THEY'RE $1.15 APIECE.

FINE. FINE.

SHE'S AN EIGHT-CYLINDER.

SHE'LL TAKE EIGHT.

GO DO IT.

ONE FOR EACH CYLINDER?

GO, BOY, GO. DO IT.

WE HAVE YOUR PERMISSION?

YES. YES.

DIDN'T WANT YOU TO SAY WE'D OVERCHARGED YOU.

GO DO IT.

RIGHT.

GOOBER SAYS, "HEY," ANDY.

HEY TO GOOBER.

LOOKIT THERE.

CONGRATULATIONS.

THERE SHE IS.

RUNS SMOOTH AS SILK.

FINE. FINE.

NOW, WHAT DO I OWE YOU AND GOOBER?

AH, IT'S NO CHARGE.

WHAT? WHAT ABOUT THE SPARK PLUGS?

YOU DIDN'T NEED NEW ONES AFTER ALL,

SO WE JUST BLOWED OUT THE FUEL LINES.

SHE RUNS GOOD AS NEW.

THAT'S MIGHTY NICE OF YOU BOYS.

Tucker: WELL, I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

GOOBER DEEMED IT A REAL HONOR

TO GET UNDER THAT FINE A MACHINE.

THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

YOU WORKED HARD.

OH, WE WAS GLAD TO DO IT.

WE DID TAKE ONE LIBERTY THOUGH.

OH?

I TOOK GOOBER'S PICTURE BY YOUR CAR WITH THE HOOD UP.

IT'S KIND OF A WAY TO REMEMBER.

NOW LOOK, GOMER,

I INSIST YOU TAKE THIS FOR YOUR TROUBLE.

IT WASN'T NO TROUBLE.

TAKE IT.

IT WASN'T NO TROUBLE.

'SIDES, WE KEPT YOU WAITING AROUND HERE

LONGER THAN YOU WANTED TO STAY.

SO HAVE A NICE TRIP

AND LOTS OF LUCK TO YOU AND YOURS.

ANDY, WOULD YOU GIVE ME A HAND?

Andy: MR. TUCKER'S CAR IS READY, AUNT BEE.

HE'S LEAVING.

OH.

OH, WHAT A SHAME.

WE WERE GOING TO HAVE ICE CREAM.

SOUNDS WONDERFUL.

BUT I REALLY DO HAVE TO BE GOING.

THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING.

NO, WAIT, JUST A MINUTE.

NOW, DON'T GO JUST YET.

JUST 'CAUSE YOU LOST A LITTLE TIME,

DON'T GO TRYING TO MAKE IT UP.

AIN'T NO USE BREAKING YOUR NECK.

DON'T GO DOING THAT WITH YOUR NECK THERE.

I'LL WATCH IT, SHERIFF.

HEY, MR. TUCKER, YOU AREN'T GOING TO LEAVE, ARE YOU?

I HAVE TO, SON.

AH, RATS. IF YOU WERE STAYING

I WAS GONNA GET TO SLEEP ON THE IRONING BOARD

BETWEEN TWO CHAIRS.

SOUNDS TERRIBLE.

NO, IT AIN'T.

THAT'S ADVENTURE SLEEPING.

Aunt Bee: MR. TUCKER.

DON'T GO JUST YET.

THERE YOU ARE.

OH, THANK YOU.

NOW, THERE'S TWO CHICKEN LEGS AND A PIECE OF CAKE.

THEY'RE HOMEMADE.

THEY'RE BETTER THAN YOU'LL GET ON THE ROAD.

I COULDN'T...

TAKE THEM, MR. TUCKER.

HERE YOU ARE, MR. TUCKER.

WHAT'S THIS?

IT WILL PROTECT YOU IN YOUR TRAVELING.

IT'S A PENNY THAT WAS RUN OVER BY A TRAIN.

IT'S LUCKY.

THANK YOU, SON.

THE BEST TO YOU.

AND IF YOU'RE EVER BY THIS WAY AGAIN

BE SURE AND STOP BY.

HOPE YOU GOT MORE TIME, THOUGH.

WE DON'T LIKE TO SEE FOLKS

HURRYING THROUGH LIKE THIS.

IS SOMETHING WRONG?

HMM?

NO, NO. I BETTER BE ON MY WAY.

LISTEN TO THAT MOTOR.

SLICK, AIN'T SHE?

SOUNDS LIKE IT'S FALLING APART.

HUH?

YOU AND GOOBER DID FINE

TO GET THAT MOTOR STARTED.

BUT THERE IS DEFINITELY SOMETHING WRONG IN THERE.

DON'T YOU HEAR IT, SHERIFF?

LISTEN.

SOUNDS STRANGE.

DON'T YOU THINK MAYBE I SHOULD WAIT UNTIL MORNING

AND LET WALLY LOOK AT IT?

Gomer: SHE'S SMOOTH AS SILK.

NO, WAIT, WAIT A MINUTE.

YEAH, I HEAR IT.

THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG IN THERE.

YOU KNOW, I WOULDN'T TRUST HER FOR THE HIGHWAY.

IT WILL BE GETTING DARK AFTER A WHILE.

YOU BETTER STAY OVER AND LET WALLY TAKE A LOOK AT IT.

OPIE, SHOW MR. TUCKER WHERE HE CAN BED DOWN.

OH, I GET TO SLEEP ON THE IRONING BOARD.

THERE AIN'T NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS CAR.

OH, HE'S RIGHT, GOMER.

THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.

SURE DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.

OF COURSE, I DON'T FIX THEM.

I JUST PUT IN THE GAS.

I'LL SEE YOU, SHERIFF.

I'LL SEE YOU, GOMER.

OH, GOMER.

YEAH?

LOTS OF LUCK TO YOU AND YOURS.

* GO TELL AUNT RHODY

* GO TELL AUNT RHODY

* GO TELL AUNT RHODY

* THE OLD GRAY GOOSE IS DEAD

YOU KNOW WHAT'D BE A GOOD IDEA?

WHAT?

WE ALL WENT UPTOWN AND GOT US A BOTTLE OF POP.

YEAH, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

WE ALL WENT UPTOWN AND GOT A BOTTLE OF POP.

YOU THINK MR. TUCKER WOULD LIKE TO GO?

WHY DON'T WE ASK HIM

IF HE'D LIKE TO GO UPTOWN AND GET A BOTTLE OF POP?

MR. TUCKER?

THEN LET'S ME AND YOU GO.

WHERE?

UPTOWN AND GET A BOTTLE OF POP.