Original subtitles

STARRING ANDY GRIFFITH...

WITH RONNY HOWARD...

ALSO STARRING DON KNOTTS.

HEY, THAT WAS SOME EATS, HUH, ANGE?

THE BEST.

YOU KNOW YOU CAN EAT MORE THAN ANYBODY?

WHAT'S EVERYBODY WANNA DO?

LET'S GO FOR A RIDE, HUH?

GOOD.

PEGGY, I WANT TO TELL YOU SOMETHING.

HEY, ANGE? HUH?

YOU DRIVE, HUH?

YOU DRIVE.

DO ME A FAVOR-- YOU DRIVE.

COME ON. YOU KNOW.

COME ON.

ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY.

EVERYBODY IN THE CAR. LET'S GO.

THELMA LOU, YOU SIT IN THE BACK.

IN THE BACK-- HERE WE GO.

EVERYBODY IN THE CAR. LET'S GO. HERE WE GO.

OKAY, THEN. I'LL DRIVE, BARN.

YEAH. YOU DRIVE.

OKAY. HERE WE GO.

THIS WHAT YOU HAD IN MIND?

BEAUTIFUL LAKE.

TREES... QUIET.

OH, YEAH. TH-THIS IS

ONE OF MY VERY, VERY FAVORITE PLACES HERE.

JUST THOUGHT I'D BRING YA UP HERE AND SHOW IT TO YA

'CAUSE YOU'RE-YOU'RE NEW HERE IN TOWN.

YOU BRING ALL THE NEW GIRLS UP HERE?

I WANT TO SEE THE LAKE.

OH.

DO YOU?

DO I WHAT?

BRING ALL THE NEW GIRLS UP HERE?

UH, NO.

NO, NOT, UH...

NOT ALL OF 'EM.

WHAT'S THAT?

JUST A HAWK.

BUT IF WE STAND UP CLOSE TOGETHER LIKE THIS

AND HOLD ON TO ONE ANOTHER

WE MIGHT BE TOO HEAVY FOR HIM TO CARRY OFF.

WANT TO HEAR ME TALK TO HIM?

YEAH. ALL RIGHT.

BARNEY, BARNEY!

BARNEY, NO!

ANDY'S GONNA TALK TO THE HAWK.

THAT'S HIS PROBLEM. NO.

NO. NOW, LISTEN TO THE HAWK TALK.

HAWK TALK!

ALL I NEED'S A GOOD WIDE BLADE OF GRASS

HOLD IT LIKE THAT, BETWEEN MY THUMBS--

NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT JUST A SECOND--

AND BLOW.

NOW, WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE.

THERE'S LADIES PRESENT.

WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE.

THERE'S LADIES PRESENT.

THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.

YOU HEAR THAT, MR. HAWK?

YOU CHARACTER.

BARNEY, DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO?

I'M GONNA TAKE MY SHOES OFF AND GO WADING.

HEY, GREAT IDEA.

EVERYBODY GET DOWN HERE AND GET YOUR SHOES.

OH, BOY. OH, YEAH.

I HAVEN'T BEEN WADIN' IN I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG.

I HAVEN'T, EITHER. NOT SINCE I WAS LITTLE.

COME ON, BARN.

I DON'T WANNA TAKE MY SHOES AND SOCKS OFF

IN FRONT OF...EVERYBODY.

GO AHEAD, BARN.

BOTH THE GIRLS HAVE A BROTHER.

COME ON, BARNEY.

Andy: COME ON, THELMA LOU.

TAKE 'EM OFF, BARN.

NOW, LET'S EASE... LET'S SEE HOW WARM IT IS.

OOH.

OH, HAVE YOU EVER SKIPPED ROCKS?

NO, NO.

MMM, WATCH THIS.

WATCH, WATCH.

LET'S SEE, NOW.

FIVE. PRETTY GOOD.

OH, HERE. TRY ONE, TRY ONE, TRY ONE.

ALL RIGHT. WATCH HERE.

JUST WATCH.

IT SKIPPED MAYBE THAT FAR.

WATCH THIS ONE.

READY? READY, READY, READY, READY?

Both: THREE, FOUR, FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT.

WELL, I'M AN OLD HAND.

I'LL SHOW YOU.

LET ME FIND A ROCK. RIGHT HERE.

OW!

OW!

OH, JUST A CRAWFISH, A LITTLE CRAWFISH.

COME ON, GANG!

WATCH THE CRAWFISH, BARN.

HAVE FUN?

SURE DID.

TOMORROW NIGHT?

UH-HUH.

NO. NO, I'M ON DUTY AT THE HOSPITAL TOMORROW NIGHT,

BUT I CAN THE NIGHT AFTER.

GOOD.

THEN, A DATE.

OKAY.

I'LL SEE YA, PEGGY.

GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT.

GO GET YOUR OWN GIRL.

CAN'T HAVE YOUR PAPER TILL YOU PAY YOUR BILL.

OH, ANDY.

THOUGHT I'D CATCH YA BEFORE YA LEFT.

YOU LEFT YOUR COMPACT IN THE SQUAD CAR LAST NIGHT.

WELL, THANK YOU.

YOU, UH, GOT COMPANY?

NO. WHY?

WELL, WHO BELONGS TO THAT NEW JOB OUT YONDER?

IT'S MINE, BELIEVE IT OR NOT.

YOURS? UH-HUH.

WELL, WHERE'D YOU GET IT?

MY FATHER SENT IT TO ME.

YOUR FATHER SENT IT TO YOU? UH-HUH.

JUST LIKE THAT? UH-HUH.

UH, I DON'T, UH, I DON'T MEAN TO PRY,

BUT YOUR DADDY MUST BE PRETTY WELL-TO-DO

TO JUST UP AND SEND YOU SOMETHIN' LIKE THAT.

AS MATTER OF FACT, HE IS.

HE OWNS THE R & M GRAIN ELEVATORS IN RALEIGH.

HE DOES?

HOW COME YOU NEVER MENTIONED IT?

I'VE ONLY BEEN HERE TWO WEEKS AND YOU NEVER ASKED ME.

I GUESS I DIDN'T, DID I?

WELL, I GOT TO GET BACK TO THE OFFICE.

I'LL SEE YA.

OKAY. BYE-BYE.

OH, ANDY?

YEAH?

WE GOT A DATE TOMORROW NIGHT.

I REMEMBER. BYE.

BYE-BYE.

A BRAND-NEW CAR FROM HER FATHER.

FOR HER VERY OWN?

YEAH. YOU OUGHT TO SEE IT, BARN.

MUST HAVE SET THE OL' MAN BACK A PRETTY PENNY.

AND YOU SAY HE OWNS

THE R & M GRAIN ELEVATORS IN RALEIGH, HUH?

YEAH.

YEP. PRETTY BIG OUTFIT.

IT WON'T WORK. THEY TELL ME...

WHAT WON'T WORK?

YOU AND PEG. THAT'S WHAT WON'T WORK.

ANDY, I HATE TO HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS,

BUT YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO GIVE HER UP.

FORGET ABOUT HER. NIP IT. NIP IT IN THE BUD.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKIN' ABOUT?

YOU WANT ME TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YA, HUH?

ALL RIGHT, I WILL.

ANDY, SHE IS ONE OF THE RICH, AND THEY ARE DIFFERENT.

OH, COME ON...

NO, NO, NO. THEY ARE.

THEY'RE DIFFERENT.

FROM THE MINUTE THEY'RE BORN

WITH THAT SILVER SPOON IN THEIR HANDS...

MOUTH. RIGHT.

LIFE IS DIFFERENT.

THEY HAVE A-A COUPLE OF NURSES

AND THEY HAVE A NANNY.

TWO NURSES AND A GOAT?

NO, NO, NO, NO.

NO, I MEAN, THIS KIND OF NANNY

TAKES 'EM TO THE PARK AND TALKS FRENCH.

OH.

THEN, AS THEY GROW UP

THEY HAVE EVERYTHING THEY WANT--

THE BEST TRICYCLES, THE BEST BICYCLES.

YOU EVER SEE A RICH KID'S BICYCLE?

NO.

SOLID CHROMIUM

WITH AT LEAST SIX OR SEVEN RED REFLECTORS.

WELL, I'LL BE DOGGED.

THEN, AFTER THE BICYCLE AGE,

THEY GO OFF TO WHAT THEY CALL A REFINISHIN' SCHOOL.

A FINISHIN' SCHOOL. RIGHT.

WHILE THEY'RE THERE, THEY PLAY WITH THE SAME KIND OF KIDS.

LOT OF REFLECTORS? RIGHT.

NEXT, THEY START PARTYIN' AROUND

WITH THE HARVARDS AND THE YALES--

YOU KNOW, FELLERS CALLED FREDDY AND BINKY AND BOBO.

THEN, THEY GET TIRED OF THE HARVARDS AND THE YALES

SO, THEY GET ON SOME STEAMER, YOU SEE.

THEY GO OFF TO EUROPE

AND AFTER ABOUT A YEAR OR SO, THEY GET TIRED OF EUROPE.

NOW WHAT DO THEY DO?

COME BACK TO AMERICA?

EXACTILIOSO.

NOW, BY THE TIME THEY'RE 20 OR SO,

THEY'VE SEEN EVERYTHING,

THEY'VE DONE EVERYTHING,

AND THEY ARE BORED STIFF.

NOW, WHAT'S NEXT?

I DON'T KNOW.

I'LL TELL YA WHAT THEY DO.

THEY MAKE A COMPLETE TURNABOUT.

THEY GO THE OTHER WAY.

THEY LOOK FOR THE ORDINARY GUY, BUT JUST FOR KICKS.

NOW, THEY GET AN ORDINARY JOB...

KICKS? RIGHT.

AND... OH-OH, OH.

OH!

OH!

AND YOU THINK PEGGY GOES AROUND WITH ME...

RIGHT, RIGHT, RIGHT.

TO HER, YOU ARE JOE ORDINARY --

JUST A TOY TO ENJOY FOR A WHILE.

OH-HO!

OH, I SEE.

I SEE.

IT'S THE TRUTH.

I'M JUST GIVIN' YA FAIR WARNING.

OH, RIGHT, BARN.

NOW, I'M JUST TELLIN' YA THIS AS A-A FRIEND --

YOU KNOW, A PAL, A BUDDY.

RIGHT, BARN. THANKS.

THEN YOU'RE GONNA STOP SEEIN' HER, RIGHT?

WRONG.

THAT POOR BLIND FOOL.

HE DON'T KNOW IT,

BUT HE'S HEADED RIGHT FOR HEARTBREAK ALLEY.

AIN'T GONNA LISTEN TO ME, HUH?

GONNA GO RIGHT AHEAD AND TAKE PEGGY OUT.

EXACTILIOSO.

ALL THE WAY TO THE CAPITAL.

55 MILES TO A RESTAURANT. HMPH.

BARN, I'VE TAKEN HER TO THE WIENIE BURGER.

I'D LIKE TO TAKE HER SOMEPLACE NICE.

I THINK IT'S THE KIND OF THING SHE'D ENJOY

AND I'D LIKE TO DO THAT FOR HER.

ANDY...

YOU KNOW, ANDY...

I'VE KNOWN YOU SINCE WE WAS JUST KIDS.

WE'VE BEEN THROUGH A LOT.

MADE SECOND-CLASS SCOUT SAME MONTH.

I RAN SECOND TO YOUR FIRST

IN THE COUNTY PENMANSHIP CONTEST,

IF YOU RECALL.

YEAH. I STOOD UP FOR YOU WHEN YOU FIRST GOT MARRIED.

I'M THE BOY'S GODFATHER.

LITTLE OPE.

YEAH. I GUESS YOU'RE JUST ABOUT THE BEST FRIEND

A GUY EVER HAD.

ANDY...

DON'T GET HURT.

A COCKTAIL BEFORE DINNER?

PEG?

MAY I SUGGEST A SAZERAC?

I'D LOVE ONE.

SIR?

UH, YOU GOT ANY DRAFT BEER?

YES, SIR.

AND, UH, WITH YOUR DRINKS, AS A STARTER,

MAY I RECOMMEND THE SPECIALTY OF THE HOUSE,

ESCARGOT BOURGUIGNON?

PLEASE.

SIR? WHAT'S THAT?

ESCARGOT. SNAILS.

YOU'VE HAD THEM, HAVEN'T YOU?

UH, NO.

I'VE STEPPED ON QUITE A FEW OF 'EM IN MY TIME,

BUT I NEVER HAVE EATEN ONE OF THEM.

WELL, TRY IT. BRING HIM SOME.

VERY GOOD.

WHAT WAS THAT DRINK YOU ORDERED?

A WHAT?

SAZERAC? OH, IT'S NICE.

IT'S SORT OF A NEW ORLEANS DRINK.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO NEW ORLEANS?

NO, NO.

ME AND BARN STARTED OUT FOR THERE ONE SUMMER.

OLD MODEL "A" I USED TO HAVE.

BURNED OUT A BEARING ABOUT DEQUEEN JUNCTION

I GUESS IT WAS.

SOLD IT FOR $12.

WHAT A SHAME.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

THEY PROBABLY WOULD NEVER LET US CAMP OUT

IN NEW ORLEANS ANYHOW.

WELL, YOU'D LIKE NEW ORLEANS.

IT'S A LOT LIKE PARIS IN A LOT OF WAYS.

OH?

YOU BEEN OVER THERE, HAVE YOU?

MM-HMM. WHEN I FINISHED HIGH SCHOOL.

OH.

SAZERAC FOR THE LADY.

THANK YOU.

BEER FOR THE GENTLEMAN.

AND THE ESCARGOT.

BOURGUIGNON.

ANDY...

AND THEN YOU DIG THE SNAIL OUT WITH YOUR FORK.

I BELIEVE I'LL JUST LET THE SNAILS GO BY.

YOU DANCE, ANDY?

OH, I TWO-STEP A LITTLE,

BUT WHEN THEY START IN ON THAT, I GENERALLY SIT DOWN.

YOU KNOW WHY YOU WERE MISERABLE?

I'LL TELL YOU WHY YOU WERE MISERABLE.

BECAUSE RICH IS RICH AND POOR IS POOR.

OIL AND WATER DO NOT MIX.

THE SILK PURSE AND THE SOW'S EAR DO NOT...

UH, UH...

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

BARN, LET'S JUST DROP IT.

OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.

UH-OH. HERE COMES MISS GOT-ROCKS NOW.

HUH?

PEGGY. HERE COMES PEGGY.

I'M GOING IN THE BACK ROOM.

YOU MAKE UP SOME EXCUSE.

UH...

HI, BARNEY. ANDY HERE?

UH, NO.

UH, HE, UH...

HE WAS CALLED OUT ON A 612.

612

UH, WELL, UH, THAT'S AN OFFICIAL CODE.

UH, I CAN TELL YOU THIS MUCH --

IT, UH, IT'S, UH, TWO THREES AND TWO SIXES.

I HAVEN'T SEEN HIM OR HEARD FROM HIM, PEG.

YES, I WILL, MM-HMM.

GOOD-BYE.

ANDY, SHE'S BEEN CALLING FOR THE LAST TWO DAYS.

I KNOW, I KNOW.

ANDY, THERE'S ONLY ONE THING TO DO:

CLEAR THE AIR.

FACE HER AND HAVE IT OUT WITH HER.

TELL HER YOU WANT TO WRITE FINISH LA GUERRE

TO THE WHOLE THING.

UH, IT AIN'T THAT SIMPLE, BARN.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

WELL, AT LAST.

OH, HI, PEG.

I BETTER LEAVE.

WHAT IS IT? WHAT'S BEEN GOING ON?

UH, NOTHING.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

YOU HAVEN'T RETURNED A SINGLE ONE OF MY CALLS.

UH, I KNOW, PEG. I THINK IT'D BE BET-

WELL, YOU COULD HAVE CALLED.

IT DOESN'T TAKE BUT A MINUTE OUT OF YOUR DAY.

WELL, UH, I'VE HAD A WHOLE LOT ON MY MIND, PEG,

AND THERE'S BEEN A WHOLE LOT TO DO.

IT'S JUST BEEN RUSH, RUSH, RUSH, BUSY, BUSY...

GO GET SOME COFFEE.

IT'S OBVIOUS YOU'VE BEEN AVOIDING ME, ANDY.

AVOIDING YOU?

NO, I HAVEN'T BEEN AVOIDING YOU.

WELL, IT LOOKED LIKE YOU WERE.

MAYBE IT WAS MY IMAGINATION.

WELL, I EXPECT THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT IT WAS.

WELL, GOOD. THEN I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT AT 7:00.

UH...

WE DO HAVE A DATE, DON'T WE?

PEGGY, C

SOMETHING'S COME UP

AND I JUST HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF IT.

OF COURSE, ANDY.

I'LL CALL YOU LATER ON IN THE WEEK.

DON'T PUT YOURSELF OUT!

THAT'S THE WAY TO DO IT, BABY.

GIVE HER THE OLD HEAVE-HO.

SHUT UP!

BOY! FIRST HE TELLS ME TO STAY, THEN HE TELLS ME TO GO

AND THEN HE BLOWS UP.

TRY AND HELP SOME PEOPLE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WHY SHOULDN'T I BE HERE?

I DON'T KNOW. I JUST THOUGHT...

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT YOU THOUGHT.

YOU THOUGHT THAT BECAUSE OF ALL THE PLACES I'VE BEEN,

I COULDN'T POSSIBLY ENJOY A LITTLE SPOT LIKE THIS.

WELL... AND YOU THOUGHT BECAUSE MY FATHER HAS A LOT OF MONEY,

THAT WE COULDN'T ENJOY DOING THINGS TOGETHER.

YOU SEE, I'VE BEEN DOING A LITTLE THINKING, TOO, SHERIFF,

AND I'VE COME TO A VERY INTERESTING CONCLUSION.

YOU HAVE?

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE?

YOU'RE A SNOB.

A SNOB?! YOU CERTAINLY ARE.

JUST BECAUSE MY FATHER'S RICH, YOU'RE SNUBBING ME.

OH, WELL, NOW, JUST...

IT'S TRUE.

I WANT TO GO OUT WITH YOU,

BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO OUT WITH ME.

THAT'S NOT...

IT'S TRUE. YOU THINK THAT NOTHING CAN MEASURE UP

TO PARIS, NEW ORLEANS, WHEREVER.

THE OTHER NIGHT WHEN WE CAME OUT HERE WITH THELMA LOU AND BARNEY,

WAS ONE OF THE NICEST EVENINGS I'VE HAD IN A LONG TIME.

YOU MEAN THAT, DON'T YOU?

I CERTAINLY DO.

SEE THAT LITTLE ISLAND RIGHT OVER THERE?

MM-HMM.

FIVE SKIPS.

THERE WE WERE, JUST THE TWO OF US

SKIPPIN' ROCKS ON THE LAKE.

YEAH.

THAT'S GOOD. YEAH, THAT'S GOOD.

I'M REALLY GLAD IT WORKED OUT, ANDY.

I REALLY AM.

I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHIN' FOR YOUR OWN GOOD, THOUGH.

YOU STILL OUGHT TO PLAY THE FIELD.

KNOW WHAT I MEAN? WHAT?

DON'T NAIL YOURSELF DOWN TO ONE GIRL.

KEEP MOVIN' AROUND.

TAKE, FOR INSTANCE, NOW,

I HAD A DATE WITH THELMA LOU LAST NIGHT, RIGHT?

RIGHT.

WATCH THIS.

SARAH, GET ME THE DINER.

YOU KNOW, ONE NIGHT, THELMA LOU,

NEXT NIGHT, SOMEBODY ELSE.

YOU KNOW, KEEP THEM GUESSIN'.

UH, JUANITA?

HI. BARN.

HOW YOU DOIN'?

WELL, I JUST WAS WONDERIN' WHAT YOU WERE GONNA BE DOIN'

AFTER WORK TONIGHT.

WELL, I THOUGHT YOU AND I COULD GET TOGETHER

AND MAYBE MAKE A LITTLE BEAUTIFUL MUSIC.

HEY, BARN, HERE COMES THELMA LOU!

LISTEN, I'VE GOT TO GO.

IT'S AN EMERGENCY-- POLICE BUSINESS.

SOMETHING JUST CAME UP. GOOD-BYE!

OH, HOWDY, THELM--

WHY, AUNT BEE, I DECLARE, FROM ACROSS THE STREET,

I'D HAVE SWORE YOU WAS THELMA LOU.

YOU'RE FUNNY, YOU ARE.

IT'S JUST TOO BAD YOU'RE NOT TWINS.

YOU SHOULD SEE THE KATZENJAMMER KIDS.