Original subtitles

STARRING ANDY GRIFFITH...

WITH RONNY HOWARD...

ALSO STARRING DON KNOTTS.

WHOA, NOW, COME ON.

GIDDYAP.

HEY, WRANGLER, TIME TO EAT.

COME ON TO THE CHUCKHOUSE.

WHOA, WHOA, WAIT A MINUTE THERE, TEX.

CAN'T TAKE A HORSE IN THE KITCHEN.

TIE HIM UP THERE AT THE HITCHIN' POST.

OH, YEAH.

THAT SHOULD TIE HIM. NOW WE GO.

ALL RIGHT, TEX

MARCH RIGHT OVER THERE, AND EAT A WHOLE LOT.

OH, THERE'S BARN.

I'LL GET IT.

OKAY.

IS THE SUN A LITTLE HOT FOR YOU?

WHAT?

OH, SORRY, PAW.

HI, EVERYBODY.

HOWDY, BARN. HAVE SOME COFFEE.

THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK.

CAN I HAVE A LUMP OF SUGAR TO TAKE OUT TO BLACKIE?

WHO'S BLACKIE?

THAT'S MY HORSE.

YOUR HORSE?

YEAH. HE'S TIED UP OUT OUTSIDE.

ARE YOU KIDDIN' ME?

HOW LONG YOU HAD A HORSE?

OH, NOT LONG.

WELL, AIN'T THAT SOMETHING.

ANDY, YOU NEVER SAID ANYTHING.

YOU GOT THE BOY A HORSE.

IS IT A FULL-SIZE HORSE OR JUST A PONY?

HE'S BIG LIKE COWBOYS HAVE

AND HE'S BLACK ALL OVER WITH A WHITE SPOT ON HIS NOSE

AND HE'S GOT A SILVER SADDLE AND A LONG TAIL.

AND YOU SHOULD SEE HIM JUMP OVER FENCES.

JUMPS OVER FENCES.

WELL, ANDY, AIN'T HE KIND OF YOUNG?

I MEAN, THAT'S QUITE A RESPONSIBILITY

TAKING CARE OF A BIG ANIMAL LIKE THAT.

WHERE DO YOU KEEP HIM ANYWAYS?

BARN, ACTUALLY...

LET'S GO OUTSIDE AND HAVE A LOOK.

WAIT TILL YOU SEE THE WAY HE'LL NUZZLE UP TO ME.

I GOT KIND OF A WAY WITH THESE CRITTERS.

IN A SENSE, I'M A MASTER, YOU KNOW?

WELL, THERE FELLER...

BLACKIE.

BLACKIE!

BLACKIE, COME ON, BOY.

COME ON.

HE'S TIED UP AT THE HITCHIN' POST.

HUH?

HITCHIN' POST, RIGHT THERE.

ACTUALLY, BARN, BLACKIE'S A LITTLE ON THE INVISIBLE SIDE.

INVISIBLE, HUH?

YOU MEAN, THERE AIN'T NO HORSE.

Aunt Bee: COME ON IN, OPIE.

FINISH YOUR BREAKFAST.

COMIN'.

WHY'D YOU LET THE BOY LEAD ME ON LIKE THAT?

OH, COME ON, BARN...

NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT, IT'S ALL RIGHT.

I CAN TAKE A JOKE AS GOOD AS THE NEXT FELLA.

I JUST DON'T THINK

YOU OUGHT TO LET THE BOY GET STARTED IN THAT DIRECTION.

I'M, UH... I'M SORRY.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

WHY DON'T WE JUST, UH... JUST FORGET IT.

OKAY.

NOW YOU SEE, BLACKIE, WHAT A MESS YOU GOT ME INTO?

HI, PAW.

OH, HI, OPE, WHAT YOU GOT THERE?

THESE LETTERS CAME FOR YOU AT THE HOUSE.

AUNT BEE THOUGHT YOU MIGHT WANT 'EM.

OH. WHILE YOU'RE HERE

HOW'D YOU LIKE THE TOP EXECUTIVE TRAINING JOB

OF TAKING THE TRASH OUT BACK HERE?

GEE, I CAN'T RIGHT NOW, PAW.

I TOLD MR. McBEEVEE I'D BE RIGHT BACK.

WHO? MR. McBEEVEE.

YOU DON'T KNOW HIM. HE'S NEW AROUND HERE.

I JUST MET HIM THIS MORNING.

OH.

OH, NEWCOMER IN TOWN, EH? WHERE'S HE LIVE AT?

I MET HIM IN THE WOODS.

WHAT'S HE DOIN' IN THE WOODS?

WELL, MOSTLY HE WALKS AROUND UP IN THE TREETOPS.

HE WALKS IN THE TREE...?

MM-HMM. I SUPPOSE HE'S INVISIBLE, TOO.

NO. MR. McBEEVEE'S EASY TO SEE.

ESPECIALLY HIS HAT.

HE WEARS A GREAT BIG, SHINY, SILVER HAT.

THAT DOES IT!

LADY, YOU GOT A LITTLE SOMETHING TO EAT

FOR A COUPLE OF HUNGRY HOBOS?

WELL, LUNCH IS A LITTLE LATE TODAY.

YOU CAN BOTH WAIT IN THE OTHER ROOM.

DIDN'T OPIE COME WITH YOU?

NO, HE'S OUT IN THE WOODS PLAYING SOMEWHERE.

THERE HE IS.

ONLY HE CAN SLAM A DOOR LIKE THAT.

Opie: PAW

PAW, LOOK WHAT I GOT.

IT'S A REAL HATCHET.

WELL, I'LL BE DOGGED, LOOKEE THERE.

THE BLADE'S GENUINE STEEL.

YES, SIR, AND THE HANDLE'S GENUINE WOOD.

WHERE'D YOU GET IT?

FROM MR. McBEEVEE.

IT'S NOT SHARPENED, PAW

SO IT WON'T BE DANGEROUS.

UH, YOU SAY, UH...

MR. McBEEVEE GIVE IT TO YA?

UH

YEAH.

HE SAID I COULD KEEP IT, TOO.

UH...

OPE, UH, A HATCHET

IS A MIGHTY FINE THING TO HAVE

AND IT'S EXTRA SPECIAL FUN

THINKIN' THAT YOUR FRIEND MR. McBEEVEE

GIVE IT TO YOU.

'COURSE NOW, I IMAGINE

IF YOU WAS TO THINK REAL HARD

YOU MIGHT REMEMBER THAT IT COME FROM SOMEPLACE ELSE.

MAYBE YOU JUST PICKED IT UP ALONG THE ROAD.

MORE'N LIKELY, IT COME

FROM MR. EDINGER'S CARPENTER SHOP.

NO, PAW, I GOT IT FROM MR. McBEEVEE.

YOU, UH... YOU DID GET THIS IN THE WOODS?

UH-HUH.

WELL, SOMEBODY PROBABLY LEFT IT THERE FOR A REASON

WHICH MEANS THAT THEY'LL BE COMIN' BY TO PICK IT UP.

NOW, YOU DO KNOW WHERE YOU GOT IT?

GOOD. THEN -- THEN YOU JUST TAKE IT BACK

AND PUT IT RIGHT WHERE YOU GOT IT.

DO I HAVE TO TAKE IT BACK?

UH, IT SEEMS LIKE THE BEST IDEA.

NOW, YOU JUST SKEDADDLE RIGHT ALONG. HURRY BACK.

IT'S A GOOD IDEA YOU STOPPED HIM.

SOONER OR LATER, HE'S GOT TO FIND OUT

HE'S LIVING IN A REAL WORLD,

AND THERE JUST AIN'T ANY MR. McBEEVEES.

Aunt Bee: LUNCH IS READY.

MR. McBEEVEE!

MR. McBEEVEE!

WELL, OPIE, ME LAD, WHAT IS IT?

I BROUGHT YOUR HATCHET BACK.

WELL, NOW, IS THERE SOMETHIN' WRONG WITH IT?

MY PAW TOLD ME I SHOULD BRING IT BACK.

OH, WELL, NOW

HE'S PROBABLY THINKIN' THAT IT'S TOO DANGEROUS FOR YA

AND HE MAY BE RIGHT AT THAT, TOO, YOU KNOW.

PARENTS USUALLY ARE.

IT'S A PITY THAT I CAN'T SPARE ANYTHING ELSE FOR YA.

I NEED THESE. THESE ARE ME EXTRA HANDS.

I HAVE 12 EXTRA HANDS.

WELL, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

THANKS JUST THE SAME.

WELL, I GUESS I'D BETTER BE GETTIN' HOME.

HEY, WAIT, WAIT, NOW.

I CAN'T LET YOU GO NOW WITH THAT LONG FACE ON YOU.

DID -- DID I EVER SHOW YOU THE TRICK THAT I LEARNED

FROM THE HEATHEN CANNIBALS

TO MAKE SMOKE COME OUT OF ME EARS?

CAN YOU REALLY?

OH...

THAT'S BETTER NOW.

LOOK.

I THINK I HAVE SOMETHIN' HERE THAT YOU CAN USE.

THIS IS AN OLD, OLD QUARTER THAT'S JUST BEGGIN'

TO BE TURNED INTO GUM AND ICE CREAM.

I COULDN'T TAKE MONEY.

WELL, YOU EARNED IT.

WELL, THE BERRIES YOU PICKED FOR ME

AND THE FRESH SPRINGWATER

AND THE APPLES YOU BROUGHT FOR ME.

AND BEIN' THAT YOU CAN'T TAKE THE HATCHET

YOU TAKE THE COIN.

GEE, THANKS!

HEY, WAIT!

I'LL SEE YA LATER.

PROBABLY TOMORROW.

I HAVE TO WORK FOR MY PAW THIS AFTERNOON.

ANYTIME, MY BOY, ANYTIME AT ALL.

BYE, MR. McBEEVEE.

GOOD-BYE.

I'M GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

I'VE BEEN DOIN' SOME THINKIN'.

'BOUT WHAT?

THIS MAY SURPRISE YOU

BUT I BELIEVE THERE IS A MR. McBEEVEE.

WHAT?! I KNOW, I KNOW.

THIS MORNING I WAS SURE THE BOY MADE IT ALL UP

BUT HE GAVE YOU A NAME. HE GAVE YOU A LOCATION.

HE GAVE YOU AN ACTUAL QUOTE FROM THE MAN HISSELF.

THAT'S PRETTY HARD FOR AN EIGHT-YEAR-OLD BOY TO MAKE UP.

OH, I DON'T KNOW, BARN...

WELL, I KNOW, I KNOW

AND I FIGURED IT OUT BY SIMPLE LOGIC.

OH, HI, PAW. HI, BARN.

Andy: HI, OPE.

OPIE.

I CAN HELP YOU WITH THAT TRASH NOW.

OH, GOOD, GOOD.

JUST TAKE IT RIGHT OUT THERE IN THE BACK.

I THINK I KNOW WHAT'LL TURN THE TRICK FOR US.

WE'LL CALL INTO PLAY

ONE OF THE BASIC TOOLS OF OUR PROFESSION.

WHAT'S THAT?

THE EYEWITNESS IDENTIFICATION.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I CAN GET OPIE TO GIVE US A DESCRIPTION OF THIS FELLA.

I'M GOING TO PROVE I KNOW YOUR BOY BETTER THAN YOU DO.

OH, BARNEY...

SAY, OPE, UH...

UH, SIT DOWN HERE FOR A SECOND, WILL YA?

J-J-JUST SIT DOWN THERE.

ATTABOY.

A

GOOD, GOOD.

YOU KNOW, OPE, I WAS JUST GONNA, UH...

JUST GONNA PRACTICE FILLIN' OUT AN IDENTIFICATION FORM

AND I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU COULD HELP ME OUT

BY, UH, OH, GIVIN' ME A DESCRIPTION OF SOMEBODY.

OKAY.

GOOD. JUST ANYBODY AT ALL, UH...

LET'S SEE, WHO COULD IT BE, UH...?

SAY, I HAVE AN IDEA.

HOW ABOUT MR. McBEEVEE?

OKAY. GOOD, GOOD.

I'LL JUST GET THE FORM HERE

AND WE'LL JUST, UH, START RIGHT IN, OKAY?

ALL RIGHTEY.

FIRST, UH, HEIGHT.

HOW TALL IS HE?

OH, 'BOUT AS TALL AS PAW.

UH-HUH. AND WEIGHT.

IS HE FAT, OR IS HE SKINNY, OR...?

HE'S JUST ORDINARY.

"AVERAGE."

NOW, COLOR OF EYES?

I DON'T REMEMBER.

PROBABLY BROWN.

"BROWN." UH-HUH.

DOIN' FINE, HEY, ANDY?

GETTIN' A LINE ON HIM.

NOW, COLOR OF, UH, HAIR?

I DON'T KNOW. HE ALWAYS WEARS HIS HAT.

OH, THE HAT, YEAH, WELL, UH, W-WE'LL GET BACK TO THAT.

UH, DOES HE HAVE ANY, UH, ANY PECULIARITIES?

DOES HE WALK WITH A LIMP, OR...?

HE JUST WALKS REGULAR.

"JUST REGULAR." UH-HUH.

YOU HEAR THAT, ANDY?

JUST REGULAR. YES SIRREE.

I MEAN, HE DOESN'T, UH...

HE DOESN'T FLY OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT?

COURSE HE DOESN'T FLY.

NO TROUBLE FINDING HIM. BETTER AND BETTER.

UH, THE ONLY THING IS

WHEN HE WALKS, HE SORTA JINGLES.

HE JINGLES?

LIKE HE HAD RINGS ON HIS FINGERS

AND BELLS ON HIS TOES.

WELL, UH, COURSE

HE DON'T REALLY HAVE RINGS ON HIS FINGERS

AND BELLS ON HIS TOES, NOW DOES HE, OPE?

NO. IT JUST SOUNDS THAT WAY.

THAT'S RIGHT.

THE JINGLIN' IS REALLY FROM ALL THE THINGS

HANGIN' ON HIS BELT.

WHAT THINGS?

HIS HANDS-- HIS 12 EXTRA HANDS.

HE HAS 12 EXTRA HANDS, AND THEY... JINGLE.

AND HE MAKES SMOKE COME OUT OF HIS EARS.

YOU CAN PUT THAT DOWN.

"SMOKE COMES OUT OF HIS EARS."

HE LEARNED IT FROM THE CANNIBALS.

"...AND FROM CANNIBALS."

DO YOU WANT TO ASK ME ABOUT HIS SILVER HAT?

NO. I THINK THAT DOES IT.

YEAH. I'D SAY THAT DOES IT, OPE.

AND HE'S A REAL NICE MAN.

HE EVEN GAVE ME THIS QUARTER.

WAIT A MINUTE...

YOU TRYIN' TO TELL ME THE FELLA YOU JUST DESCRIBED

GIVE YOU THAT QUARTER?

HE TOLD ME IT WAS ALL RIGHT, THAT I COULD HAVE IT

BECAUSE I EARNED IT.

WHERE'D YOU GET THAT QUARTER?

LIKE I SAID, PAW, FROM MR. McBEEVEE.

WHY DON'T YOU GO AND ASK MR. McBEEVEE?

HE'LL TELL YA.

ALL RIGHT. LET'S JUST DO THAT.

HELLO, TRAVERS?

McBEEVEE HERE. I'M ALL SET.

I NEED CHARLIE TO HELP ME WITH THE STRINGER LINE.

HE'S WHERE?

ALL RIGHT, I'LL GO GET HIM. BYE.

MR. McBEEVEE?

HE'S RIGHT AROUND HERE, PAW. YOU'LL SEE.

MR. McBEEVEE?

MR. McBEEVEE?

MAYBE HE MOVED TO ANOTHER TREE.

MR. McBEEVEE?

IT'S ME, OPIE.

PLEASE COME DOWN, MR. McBEEVEE.

PLEASE.

MY PAW'S HERE.

I WANT YOU TO TELL HIM ABOUT THAT QUARTER.

LET'S GO HOME.

WELL, ANDY...

I DIDN'T EXPECT TO SEE YOU TWO.

GO ON UP TO YOUR ROOM. I'LL BE THERE IN A MINUTE.

ANYTHING WRONG?

AFRAID SO.

WHY

WELL, IT LOOKS LIKE OPIE'S

GETTIN' HISSELF IN THE HABIT

OF STRETCHIN' THE TRUTH A LITTLE OUTTA SHAPE.

OPIE LYING? OH, I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

SURE LOOKS LIKE IT.

WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

I AIN'T GOT MUCH CHOICE.

LOOKS LIKE TO ME HE'S IN FOR A WHIPPIN'.

OH, ANDY.

OPE, UH...

'MEMBER THE FUN YOU WAS HAVIN' THIS MORNIN'

GALLOPIN' AROUND THE BACK YARD ON...BLACKIE?

WE WAS BOTH ENJOYIN' THAT LITTLE GAME.

COURSE, NOW -- NOW THE TRUTH IS

TH-THERE NEVER WAS ANY REAL BLACKIE.

THAT'S JUST SOMETHIN' THAT YOU MADE UP.

AIN'T THAT RIGHT?

WELL, ABOUT, UH...

ABOUT THIS MR. McBEEVEE...

MAYBE THE SAME THING HAPPENED THERE.

MAYBE YOU, UH, MADE HIM UP, TOO,

JUST FOR FUN, AND...

TH-THERE'S NOTHIN' WRONG WITH THAT.

WHAT'S WRONG IS USIN' A MR. McBEEVEE

TO GET OUTTA WORK

AND TO EXPLAIN THINGS THAT SEEM TO COME FROM NOWHERE.

OPE, THEY, UH, THEY COMES A TIME

WHEN YOU HAVE TO STOP THE PLAYACTIN'

AND TELL THE TRUTH.

AND THAT TIME'S NOW.

RIGHT NOW.

OPE, I WANT YOU TO BE MAN ENOUGH

TO TELL ME THAT MR. McBEEVEE IS JUST MAKE-BELIEVE.

THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY AND IT'LL ALL BE FORGOTTEN.

BUT IF YOU DON'T

THEN SOMETHIN' ELSE IS GONNA HAPPEN.

I BELIEVE YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, DON'T YOU?

YES, PAW.

ALL RIGHT

TELL THE TRUTH.

JUST GO AHEAD AND SAY RIGHT OUT

MR. McBEEVEE IS JUST MAKE-BELIEVE.

WELL?

GO AHEAD.

MR. McBEEVEE IS JUST...

SAY IT.

I CAN'T, PAW.

MR. McBEEVEE ISN'T MAKE-BELIEVE.

HE'S REAL.

OPIE...

DON'T YOU BELIEVE ME, PAW?

DON'T YOU, PAW?

I BELIEVE YOU.

WELL, WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE BOY

MAKING UP AN IMAGINARY CHARACTER?

WELL, WHAT ABOUT THE HATCHET AND THE COIN?

WELL, STILL, THAT'S NOT REA...

ANDY?

NO... I DIDN'T SPANK HIM.

OH, WELL, THAT'S GOOD.

JUST NOT NECESSARY.

HE LEARNED HIS LESSON.

A GOOD TALKIN'-TO IS THE BEST THING --

MAKIN' HIM STAY IN HIS ROOM.

I DIDN'T DO THAT EITHER.

WELL, WHAT DID YOU DO?

I TOLD HIM I BELIEVED HIM.

YOU TOLD HIM YOU BELI...

BUT, ANDY, WHAT HE TOLD YOU'S IMPOSSIBLE.

WELL, A WHOLE LOTTA TIMES I'VE ASKED HIM TO BELIEVE THINGS

THAT TO HIS MIND MUSTA SEEMED JUST AS IMPOSSIBLE.

OH, BUT ANDY, THIS SILVER HAT AND THE JINGLIN'

AND THE SMOKE FROM THE EARS, WHAT ABOUT ALL THAT?

OH, I DON'T KNOW, BARN.

I GUESS IT'S A TIME LIKE THIS

WHEN YOU'RE ASKED TO BELIEVE SOMETHIN'

THAT JUST DON'T SEEM POSSIBLE --

THAT'S THE MOMENT THAT DECIDES

WHETHER YOU GOT FAITH IN SOMEBODY OR NOT.

YEAH, BUT HOW CAN YOU EXPLAIN IT ALL?

I CAN'T.

BUT YOU DO BELIEVE IN MR. McBEEVEE?

NO. NO. NO.

I DO BELIEVE IN OPIE.

MR. McBEEVEE.

HELLO

McBEEVEE AT YOUR SERVICE.

WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU, MISTER?

YOU WALK AROUND IN THE TREES --

SILVER HAT AN-AN-AND YOU JINGLE AND...

YOU CAN MAKE SMOKE COME OUT OF YOUR EARS, CAN'T YOU?

UH-HUH.

MR. McBEEVEE, I CAN'T TELL YOU

HOW GLAD I AM TO MEET YOU.

WELL, ARE YA, NOW?

I CERTAINLY AM.

I DIDN'T CATCH THE NAME.

OH, I'M ANDY TAYLOR, OPIE'S DAD.

OH, ARE YA, NOW?

THAT'S A WONDERFUL BOY.

OH, HE'S A FINE BOY.

HEY, BARN? GUESS WHO I JUST MET.

WHO? MR. McBEEVEE.

HE WAS RIGHT OUT THERE IN THE WOODS,

RIGHT WHERE OPIE SAID HE WAS.

YOU SEEN HIM WITH YOUR OWN EYES?

YOU BETTER KNOW I DID -- SHINY SILVER HAT AND EVERYTHING.

I NEVER WAS AS GLAD TO SHAKE HANDS WITH ANYBODY IN MY LIFE.

YOU SHOOK HANDS WITH HIM?

I SURE DID.

SEE, WHERE WE WENT WRONG, BARN --

OH, ANDY, YOU KNOW SOMETHING? YOU BEEN WORKING TOO HARD.

NO, NOW, LISTEN -- YOU BEEN WORKING TOO HARD, ANDY.

JUST TAKE IT EASY. WHEN -- WHEN OPIE SAID --

JUST SIT DOWN THERE AND RELAX, NOW.

I'M GONNA MAKE A PHONE CALL,

AND YOU JUST TAKE IT EASY WHILE I MAKE IT.

JUST LET YOUR MIND GO BLANK. DON'T EVEN THINK OF ANYTHING.

HELLO, SARAH? THIS IS BARNEY FIFE.

UH, I WONDER IF YOU COULD GET ME DOC HARVEY, WOULD YOU?

THERE JUST AIN'T NO JOB MORE DEMANDING

THAN THE HIGH SHERIFF.

I ALWAYS DID SAY THAT.

HELLO, DOC? UH, THIS IS BARNEY FIFE.

I WONDER IF YOU COULD COME OVER TO THE OFFICE.

UH, WELL, NO. IT'S JUST FOR A -- FOR A REGULAR CHECK-UP.

It's an emergency. Hurry.

JUST RELAX. JUST -- JUST LET YOUR MIND GO BLANK.

DON'T EVEN THINK. JUST LET HER GO.

YOU KNOW, DON'T EVEN THINK OF ANYTHING.

JUST -- JUST LET YOURSELF GO. JUST -- JUST RELAX.

HE'S A REAL NICE FELLA.

OH, YEAH. HE'S A -- HE'S A...

NICE. NICE.

HE'S COMIN' OVER TO THE HOUSE TO EAT SUPPER TONIGHT.

SUPPER? UH-HUH.

WONDERFUL. IF HE GETS THROUGH IN TIME.

OH, HE'LL GET THROUGH.

WHY DON'T YOU COME, TOO?

OH, YES, I WILL. I'LL COME.

I'LL EVEN WEAR MY -- MY SHINY HAT.

I HAVE A SHINY HAT. I DO.

YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

NO, NO, NO! NO, I'LL GET THAT.

YOU JUST -- JUST RELAX AND LET ME ANSWER THE PHONE.

AND JUST -- JUST LET THE MIND GO BLANK.

HELLO? BARNEY FIFE. THE SHERIFF'S OFF--

UH, WELL, UH, YEAH, HE'S HERE,

BUT, UH, HE'S NOT TAKING ANY CALLS RIGHT NOW.

TELL THE SHERIFF THAT I CAN MAKE IT TO HIS HOUSE

FOR SUPPER TONIGHT.

Y-Y-YOU'LL BE THERE FOR SUPPER.

I DIDN'T GET THE NAME.

B-B-- UH...

UM...McBEEVEE?

UH-HUH.

UH-HUH.