Original subtitles

Narrator: STARRING ANDY GRIFFITH...

WITH RONNIE HOWARD.

ALSO STARRING DON KNOTTS.

HI, BOYS.

WELL, HI, MARY.

WHAT IN THE WORLD BRINGS YOU AROUND HERE

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY? WANT SOME COFFEE?

OH, NO, THANK YOU, ANDY.

I HAVE TO RUN OUT TO THE POWELL PLACE

AND I WANTED TO CHECK ON THE ROAD.

OH, IT'S FINE, IT'S ALL CLEAR

NOW THEY'VE FINISHED THE CONSTRUCTION.

IS THERE SOMEBODY SICK UP THERE?

NO, BUT IT SEEMS TO BE THAT TIME OF THE YEAR

AND NEARLY EVERYBODY'S GOT A COLD,

SO I WANT TO DROP OFF SOME MEDICATION.

THANK YOU, ANDY, I'LL SEE YA. SEE YA BOTH.

UH, MARY...

IF YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT THE ROAD

AND YOU'D LIKE TO HAVE SOMEBODY DRIVE YOU...

YOU LOOKING FOR A RIDE TO THE POWELL PLACE?

I'LL BE GLAD TO DRIVE YOU.

NO, I THINK I CAN MAKE IT FINE.

BYE.

UH, MARY.

UH...

UM...

UH...

ARE, UH... ARE YOU...

ARE YOU DOING ANYTHING SPECIAL TONIGHT?

WHY, NO, AS A MATTER OF FACT I'M NOT.

WELL, HOW ABOUT IF I WAS TO TAKE YOU TO THAT MOTION PICTURE

OVER AT THE GRAND -- THEY SAY IT'S A GOOD ONE.

UH, WELL, UH... I'M AFRAID I'VE ALREADY SEEN IT, ANDY.

OH, WELL, HOW ABOUT IF I WAS TO COME OVER TO YOUR HOUSE?

WHY, THAT'S A WONDERFUL IDEA!

WE CAN WATCH TELEVISION AND PLAY SOME RECORDS.

AND MAYBE I'LL EVEN MAKE YOU A PIZZA PIE.

HEY, THAT SOUNDS SWELL.

IT SURE DOES!

I'LL CALL THELMA LOU -- WE'LL MAKE IT A FOURSOME.

UH, WELL, BARNEY, WE JUST GOT IT UP

AND, WELL, WE'RE NOT SURE WHAT WE'RE GOING TO DO

AND I IMAGINE YOU AND THELMA LOU GOT YOUR OWN PLANS.

OH, HECK NO, WE AIN'T GOT NO PLANS!

WHATEVER YOU KIDS WANT TO DO IS FINE WITH US.

SWELL.

BARNEY, I'D JUST LOVE TO HAVE YOU AND THELMA LOU COME OVER.

THE FOUR OF US WOULD HAVE A LOT OF FUN.

DON'T YOU THINK, ANDY?

YEAH, BOY!

WELL, SURE! YOU KNOW, LIKE THEY SAY, THE MORE THE MERRIER!

I'LL GIVE YOU A TREAT -- I'LL BRING OVER MY NEW BONGO DRUM.

I JUST LEARNED "LA CUCARACHA."

All: * I WAS SEEING NELLIE HOME

* AND 'TWAS FROM AUNT DINAH'S QUILTING PARTY *

* I WAS SEEING NELLIE HOME

YEAH!

* I WAS SEEING NELLIE HOME

* I WAS SEEING NELLIE HOME *

* AND 'TWAS FROM AUNT DINAH'S QUILTING PARTY *

* I WAS SEEING NELLIE HOME *

YEAH.

PRETTY GOOD, HUH?

UH-HUH, PRETTY GOOD.

I DON'T BELIEVE THAT BONGOS FIT IN TOO GOOD

WITH "BRINGING NELLIE HOME," THOUGH.

WELL, HECK, I WAS JUST TRYING TO PEP IT UP A LITTLE!

ANY RULE SAYS YOU HAVE TO SING SONGS THE SAME WAY

FOREVER AND EVER, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKES?

WELL, I THINK IT WAS A NICE TOUCH, BARNEY.

YOU DO WANT TO HEAR "LA CUCARACHA"?

UH, BARN?

HEY, BARN? BARN?

DON'T YOU BELIEVE WE'VE HAD ENOUGH MUSIC?

WELL, IF THAT'S THE WAY YOU FEEL.

I WAS JUST TRYING TO LIVEN UP THE EVENING.

BARNEY?

OH, YOU GOT A REQUEST?

YES -- TAKE ME HOME. IT'S GETTING RATHER LATE.

LATE

IT'S JUST THE SHANK OF THE EVENING.

WHAT'LL MARY AND ANDY THINK IF WE RUN OFF LIKE THIS?

IT'S PERFECTLY ALL RIGHT, BARN. RIGHT, MARY?

WELL, WHATEVER THELMA LOU THINKS.

THERE'LL BE OTHER EVENINGS.

YEAH, WE OUGHT TO DO THIS MORE OFTEN!

YOU KNOW, THE FOUR OF US OUGHT TO GET TOGETHER A LOT.

YEAH, WE OUGHT TO DO THAT A LOT.

HERE'S YOUR COAT.

WELL, GOOD NIGHT, MARY, AND THANK YOU FOR A LOVELY EVENING.

OH, YEAH, IT WAS JUST SWELL.

GOOD NIGHT, MARY.

GLAD YOU ENJOYED IT.

AIN'T YOU COMING, ANDY?

UH... WELL, NO

I THOUGHT I'D STAY ON A WHILE.

WELL, WHAT FOR?

BARNEY!

WELL, I'M GONNA TAKE THE BONGO DRUM.

THINGS ARE LIABLE TO BE KIND OF DULL.

WELL, UH... ACTUALLY, MARY PROMISED TO SHOW ME

SOME SLIDES THROUGH THE MICROSCOPE.

REMEMBER, YOU PROMISED?

UH... WELL, WELL, IF YOU'D LIKE...

OH, I LOVE TO LOOK AT THEM SLIDES.

NIGHT, BARN.

WHAT'S INTERESTING ABOUT LOOKING THROUGH A MICROSCOPE?

BARNEY.

SOME FUN -- LOOKING AT GERMS.

NOW, WHAT YOU BEEN FUSSIN' ABOUT?

HERE'S THAT PIZZA PIE I PROMISED YOU.

WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT?

NOW, AIN'T YOU THE PERFECT HOSTESS?

I OUGHT TO COME UP HERE MORE OFTEN.

ALL RIGHT.

YOU KNOW SOMETHING I HAVEN'T DONE IN A LONG, LONG TIME?

WHAT'S THAT?

GONE ON A PICNIC. YOU LIKE PICNICS?

OH, I LOVE PICNICS.

I KNOW THE PERFECT SPOT, AND I BET YOU'VE NEVER BEEN UP THERE.

WHERE'S THAT?

UP PAST FRANKLIN WOODS.

NO, NO, I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER BEEN THERE.

OH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL UP THERE.

THERE'S A LITTLE LAKE, LITTLE BERRY PATCH.

OH, GEE, THAT SOUNDS WONDERFUL.

FINE, I'LL TAKE YOU UP THERE SOME TIME.

GOOD, AND WE CAN TAKE OPIE, TOO.

YEAH, WE COULD.

YOU KNOW, UH... OPIE'S BEEN UP THERE A LOT LATELY.

I IMAGINE HE'S TIRED OF IT.

OH?

WELL, WHATEVER YOU SAY.

YEAH, AND BESIDES, HE'S GOT THIS FRIEND

AND HE GOES OVER THERE A LOT.

OH.

THANK YOU.

EXCUSE ME, I WONDER WHO THAT COULD BE.

HI, KIDS.

ANDY.

BARNEY, WHAT ARE YOU DOING BACK?

WELL, AFTER I TOOK THELMA LOU HOME

I JUST DIDN'T FEEL LIKE GOING HOME MYSELF.

EVER HAD ONE OF THEM NIGHTS

WHEN YOU JUST DIDN'T FEEL LIKE GOING HOME?

YOU KNOW, TOO WIDE

JUST ONE OF THEM NIGHTS.

OH, PIZZA!

LOOKS LIKE "MOZ-ARELLA," TOO.

THAT'S MY FAVORITE-- MOZ-ARELLA.

MMM! I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO LOOK THROUGH THE MICROSCOPE

AT SOME GERMS -- WHY DON'T YOU GO GET IT, MARY?

MARY?

ANDY.

UH, YOU STAYING IN THIS EVENING?

OKAY IF I COME OVER?

FINE, FINE.

ABOUT... ABOUT 7:30.

BYE.

HEY! YOU GOT A DATE WITH MARY?

THAT'S GREAT. I'LL CALL THELMA LOU.

HEY, LISTEN, TONIGHT LET'S HAVE THE PIZZA

WITH THE PEPPERONI, OKAY?

I JUST LOVE THAT, TOO, DON'T YOU, WITH PEPPERONI?

BARNEY, YOU CAN'T MAKE IT.

I CAN'T?

YOU WAS GOING TO STRAIGHTEN UP THE FILES, REMEMBER?

AW, DOGGONE, WHY DIDN'T I DO THAT SOONER?

I COULD HAVE JOINED YOU.

IT'S MUCH MORE FUN WITH A GROUP.

YEAH, I KNOW, BUT WE'LL TRY AND MANAGE.

HAVE A GOOD TIME.

* IF YOUR HEART BELONG TO ANOTHER *

* AND YOU'D NEVERMORE BE MINE *

* I WISH I WAS A RED ROSY BUSH *

* ON THE BANKS OF THE SEA *

* EVERY TIME MY TRUE LOVER PASSED *

* SHE WOULD PLUCK A ROSE

* OFF OF ME

* I WISH I HAD A LITTLE GOLDEN BOX *

* TO PUT MY TRUE LOVE IN

* I WOULD TAKE HER OUT AND I'D KISS HER TWICE *

* THEN I'D PUT HER BACK AGAIN **

OH, THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.

PRETTY LITTLE SONG, AIN'T IT?

YEAH.

IS IT HARD TO PLAY THE GUITAR?

NO, NOT TOO HARD.

LET ME... LET ME SHOW YOU A CHORD OR TWO.

OKAY.

NOW, OF COURSE, YOU HOLD IT LIKE THAT.

AND I'LL TEACH YOU THE CHORD OF "C" FIRST.

PUT THAT FINGER THERE, THAT FINGER THERE,

THAT FINGER THERE.

THAT'S RIGHT.

NOW, AND YOU PLAY THE LAST FIVE STRINGS.

HELLO?

OH, OH, IT'S BARNEY.

OH.

YEAH, BARN?

HEY, ANDY, YOU KNOW THAT LETTER WE GOT FROM

THE STATE ATTORNEY'S OFFICE LAST MONTH?

I CAN'T FIND IT.

WELL, TRY LOOKING UNDER "S" -- "S" FOR "STATE ATTORNEY."

RIGHT.

NOW, WHERE WERE WE HERE?

LET ME GET YOUR FINGERS BACK AGAIN.

DID I MOVE THEM?

MM-HMM, A LITTLE.

THERE, THERE... AND THERE.

NOW, WE GOT THAT ONE. HOLD THAT.

HELLO?

BARNEY?

YEAH, BARN?

WELL, TRY LOOKING UNDER "A" FOR "ATTORNEY."

RIGHT.

SORRY.

I UNDERSTAND.

OKAY. NOW, YOU MOVED THEM AGAIN.

THERE YOU ARE.

NOW...

THAT'S HARD TO HOLD.

YEAH!

WELL, IF IT'S NOT UNDER "S" AND IT'S NOT UNDER "A"

I WOULDN'T KNOW WHERE IT IS.

WELL, I GOT A THEORY -- SINCE THE LETTER

CAME FROM RALEIGH, MAYBE IT'S UNDER "R."

WELL, LOOK!

BARNEY IS HAVING TROUBLE FINDING A LETTER.

OH.

NOW... NOW, WE'LL PLAY THE LAST FIVE STRINGS.

UH... MAYBE I OUGHT TO MAKE SOME COFFEE.

ALL RIGHT.

HERE IT IS, PIPING HOT.

GOOD, LET'S JUST SET AND LET IT COOL OFF A LITTLE BIT.

ALL RIGHT.

UH... I GUESS I'D BETTER SEE WHO IT IS.

YOU'LL NEVER GUESS WHERE I FOUND THIS.

IT WASN'T UNDER "A" OR "S" OR "R" -- ANYPLACE LIKE THAT.

YOU KNOW WHERE IT WAS?

IT WAS BEHIND THE FILE ON THE FLOOR.

CAN YOU BEAT THAT?

OOH, COFFEE!

BOY, I SURE AM IN LUCK.

NO PIZZA TONIGHT, HUH?

WELL, I'LL GO OUT AND GET SOME LATER.

WHAT'LL BE TONIGHT -- MOZZARELLA OR PEPPERONI?

YOU NAME IT, IT DOESN'T MATTER TO ME.

I JUST LIKE PIZZA.

OH, YOU KNOW, ANDY

I SURE DID HAVE A GOOD TIME

OVER MARY'S LAST NIGHT, DIDN'T YOU?

YEAH, SURE I DID.

SHE'S A GREAT, LITTLE GIRL.

I SURE DO ENJOY HER COMPANY.

SO I NOTICED.

UH... BARN?

YEAH?

THERE'S SOMETHIN' I WANNA TALK TO YOU ABOUT.

YEAH?

YOU KNOW, FOR ABOUT A WEEK NOW

WE'VE BEEN SPENDIN' A LOT OF TIME TOGETHER, RIGHT?

YEAH.

I MEAN, IT'S BEEN

MARY AND ME, AND YOU AND THELMA LOU

OR MARY, AND ME AND YOU AND, UH...

WELL, I WAS THINKIN'.

YEAH?

DON'T YOU THINK WE OUGHT TO SPEND SOME TIME ALONE?

DO YOU, UH...

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

OH, SURE I UNDERSTAND, ANDY, OF COURSE.

SARAH, GET ME 2-4-7.

YOU SHOULD HAVE MENTIONED THIS SOONER.

THELMA LOU? BARN.

YEAH.

LISTEN, WE CAN'T MAKE IT OVER TO MARY'S TONIGHT.

ANDY AND I WANNA SPEND SOME TIME ALONE.

RIGHT... OKAY.

YOU CALL MARY.

WHAT DO YOU WANNA DO?

NO, BARN.

THAT... THAT'S NOT WHAT I HAD IN MIND.

THAT'S NOT WHAT I HAD IN MIND AT ALL-L-L.

YOU SEE, WHAT I HAD IN MIND

WAS I WANT TO SPEND SOME TIME ALONE WITH MARY.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

SEE, I WANNA SPEND

SOME TIME ALONE WITH MARY.

I... I WANNA... I WANNA TALK TO HER.

THERE'S A FEW THINGS THAT I WANNA SAY TO HER IN PRIVATE.

HMM

ARE YOU KIDDIN'?

SON OF A GUN, OF COURSE I FOLLOW YOU.

GOOD.

THEN, WE'LL BE ALONE TONIGHT, RIGHT?

SURE, PAL.

GOOD, GOOD, GOOD.

WELL, I'M GOING OVER TO FLOYD'S

AND GET A HAIRCUT.

SURE, YOU DO THAT.

OH... THAT SON OF A GUN.

I SHOULD'VE GUESSED.

HE'S GONNA POP THE QUESTION TONIGHT.

OUR SHERIFF'S GONNA GET HISSELF HITCHED.

ANDY AND MARY? REALLY, BARNEY?

THEY'RE GETTIN' MARRIED?

OH, ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL?

CERTAINLY GOT HIMSELF A NICE GIRL.

YEAH...

YOU KNOW, IT'S GOING TO BE LIKE

WATCHING MY OWN KID GET MARRIED.

OH...

GOLLY, THELMA LOU, I JUST HOPE I DON'T CRY.

ANDY

MY ANDY?

YEAH, YEAH, HE'S ASKING HER TONIGHT.

WELL, WHY ALL THE SECRECY? WHY DIDN'T HE TELL ME?

WELL, YOU KNOW ANDY -- TIGHT-LIPPED.

THE ONLY REASON HE TOLD ME IS

HE KNEW HE COULDN'T HIDE IT FROM ME.

CAN'T KEEP ANYTHING FROM OLD EAGLE-EYE BARNEY.

ANDY GETTING MARRIED!

YEAH, HE'S TAKING THE PLUNGE.

OH, BARNEY, I HOPE I DON'T CRY AT THE WEDDING.

NOW, DON'T YOU START, AUNT BEE.

IF YOU DO, I'M A GONER.

ANDY!

HOWDY, THELMA LOU.

BARN?

OH, HOWDY, AUNT BEE, IS THAT LUNCH?

SOMEBODY SURE IS IN A JAW-KISSING MOOD TODAY.

OH, HOWDY, BARN -- ABOUT READY FOR LUNCH?

IT JUST GOT HERE.

HEY, LISTEN, BEFORE WE START

WANT TO GO ACROSS THE STREET

AND GET A COUPLE OF ROOT BEERS?

MARY SAID IT'S THAT TIME OF THE YEAR.

MAYBE THEY'RE ALL COMING DOWN WITH COLDS.

MMM-MMM, THANK YOU.

OH, THAT WAS A FINE SUPPER, MARY.

THANK YOU.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR COFFEE

IN THE LIVING ROOM BY THE FIREPLACE?

WELL, NOW, THAT'S ANOTHER GOOD IDEA.

IT SURELY IS.

HERE, LET ME HELP YOU.

A WHOLE EVENING WITHOUT ANY INTERRUPTIONS.

YOU KNOW, HOW IT GOT TO BE THAT WAY?

NO.

I JUST UP AND TOLD BARNEY.

OH.

I'M GLAD.

I'M GLAD, TOO.

A WHOLE EVENING... ALONE TOGETHER.

JUST THE TWO OF US.

FOLKS! FOLKS, LET ME HAVE YOUR ATTENTION.

LET ME HAVE YOUR ATTENTION.

NOW, HERE'S THE PLAN, SEE?

THE WAY I FIGURE, ANDY AND MARY

HAVE PROBABLY JUST ABOUT FINISHED THEIR SUPPER, SEE,

SO WE'LL GIVE THEM ANOTHER HOUR.

THAT WILL GIVE ANDY ENOUGH TIME TO POP THE QUESTION.

AND THEN WE'LL ALL MARCH IN AND WE'LL YELL "SURPRISE!"

OH, THIS IS THE NICEST, QUIETEST EVENING

I'VE SPENT IN I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG.

IT'S REAL PEACEFUL MUSIC, ISN'T IT?

MM-HMM.

REAL NICE.

OH, ANDY, WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT BEAUTIFUL FULL MOON.

MM-HMM! AIN'T THAT SOMETHING?

WELL, IT'S KIND OF A SHAME TO WASTE THAT.

WANNA TAKE A DRIVE?

THAT'S A WONDERFUL IDEA.

AND WE CAN TAKE MY CAR AND PUT THE TOP DOWN.

WHY DON'T WE DO THAT?

OKAY!

THIS WAY, FOLKS!

ALL RIGHT, STAY CLOSE, EVERYBODY!

OKAY!

OKAY, EVERYBODY IN ALL RIGHT?

OKAY, FOLLOW ME!

QUIET, QUIET, QUIET... SHH.

NOW, I'M GOING TO COUNT THREE

AND THEN WE'LL ALL CRASH IN AND YELL "SURPRISE."

ONE...

TWO...

All: SURPRISE!

SURPRISE!

SURPRISE!

ANDY?

MARY?

WELL, THERE'S NOBODY HERE.

NO SIGN OF THEM.

THAT'S FUNNY.

BARNEY, ARE YOU SURE ANDY WAS COMING HERE TONIGHT?

YOU'RE SURE YOU GOT THIS WHOLE THING RIGHT, NOW?

WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT A MINUTE!

HOLD IT!

ALL RIGHT, THEY AIN'T HERE.

BUT THEY WERE HERE, WEREN'T THEY?

DO YOU THINK I MADE THIS UP?

THINK I'M SOME KIND OF A DUMBBELL OR SOMETHING?

WANNA HEAR A LITTLE MUSIC?

OH, SURE.

MMM... THAT'S NICE.

YOU KNOW, IT SEEMS

LIKE WE'RE A MILLION MILES AWAY FROM EVERYONE.

MM-HMM.

YOU KNOW, I'M SORRY WE DIDN'T DO THIS BEFORE.

WELL, WHOSE FAULT IS THAT?

MINE, MY FAULT, ALL MY FAULT.

I TAKE ALL THE BLAME.

OF COURSE, EVERYTHING COME OUT ALL RIGHT.

I JUST HAD TO WORK MY WAY

UP THROUGH A FEW PIZZA PIES TO GET UP HERE.

YUP.

AND HERE WE ARE.

YUP.

HERE WE ARE.

A MILLION MILES AWAY FROM EVERYONE.

YEAH...A MILLION MILES AWAY.

Barney : BE QUIET, BE QUIET.

WHAT WAS THAT?

WHAT WAS WHAT?

I THOUGHT I HEARD A VOICE -- LISTEN.

: HERE THEY ARE!

All: SURPRISE!

CONGRATULATIONS!

OH, LOOK WHAT WE HAVE HERE FOR YOU.

COLESLAW AND POTATO SALAD AND...

PHANTOM FIFE STRIKES AGAIN.

( banjo music playing, everyone chatting )

EVERYBODY GOT ENOUGH POTATO SALAD?

COME ON, SPEAK UP NOW! LET'S FINISH EVERYTHING!

WE'RE ONLY GOING TO HAVE TO THROW IT OUT, YOU KNOW!

WELL...

MARY, I'VE BEEN TRYING FOR SOMETIME

TO COURT YOU.

WOULD IT BE ALL RIGHT

IF I WENT AHEAD AND COURTED YOU IN PUBLIC?

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

I SAY, DO YOU MIND IF I GO AHEAD

AND COURT YOU IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY?

NO.

WOULD IT BE ALL RIGHT IF I WAS TO KISS YOU?

YOU MIGHT JUST AS WELL

BECAUSE I DON'T THINK ANYBODY'D NOTICE AT ALL.

FINE.

Barney: ANYONE ELSE FOR POTATO SALAD?

WHO WANTS POTATO SALAD?