Original subtitles

STARRING ANDY GRIFFITH...

WITH RONNY HOWARD.

ALSO STARRING DON KNOTTS.

ANY LUCK?

I CAN'T BUDGE HER.

DOGGONE IT, THELMA LOU,

IF YOUR COUSIN JUST MET ANDY ONCE,

I KNOW SHE'D LIKE HIM.

I KNOW IT.

BUT KAREN SAYS

THAT SHE DIDN'T COME ALL THE WAY FROM ARKANSAS

FOR MAN-HUNTING.

SHE'S HERE ON A VACATION AND THAT'S THAT.

HAVE YOU SPOKEN TO ANDY?

WELL, NO.

TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH, I'M AFRAID TO.

AFRAID TO

WELL, ANDY SAYS

HE'S BEEN BURNED BY ME AND THEM BLIND DATES.

WHEN WAS THAT?

OH, ONCE I GOT HIM TO GO OUT

WITH THIS GIRL VISITING FROM DETROIT-- MELINDA KIEFER.

SO WHAT IF SHE HAD FAT KNEES AND TALKED A LOT.

IT WAS JUST A DATE.

THAT WAS JUST ONCE?

WELL, NO-- ANOTHER TIME I ARRANGED A DATE WITH A GIRL

THAT HE CLAIMS LOOKED JUST LIKE BENJAMIN FRANKLIN.

HE'S KIND OF LOST FAITH IN ME AND BLIND DATES

AND I KNOW WHAT'LL HAPPEN IF I BRING IT UP.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT KAREN LOOKS LIKE.

BARNEY, THERE'S ONLY ONE WAY TO DO THIS

AND THAT'S JUST THROW 'EM TOGETHER.

WELL, HOW'LL WE DO THAT?

WELL, I'LL JUST HAPPEN TO GET KAREN

OVER TO THE COFFEE SHOP AROUND 3:00

AND YOU JUST HAPPEN TO GET ANDY OVER THERE AROUND 3:00.

A-AND LET NATURE DO THE REST, HUH?

THAT'S RIGHT.

THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. LET'S DO THAT.

BUT BARNEY, BE CAREFUL

HOW YOU MANEUVER ANDY OVER THERE.

DON'T EVEN HINT THAT IT'S TO MEET MY COUSIN.

ARE YOU KIDDING? I KNOW JUST HOW I'LL WORK IT.

I'LL SAY, "ANDY..." YOU KNOW, REAL CASUAL-LIKE...

"HOW ABOUT GOING OUT AND GETTING A CUP OF COFFEE?"

HE'LL SAY, "WHAT FOR?"

AND I'LL SAY, "JUST TO RELAX AND TALK."

THEN HE'LL PROBABLY SAY "WHY CAN'T WE DO THAT HERE?"

AND I'LL SAY, "LET'S GET AWAY FROM THE OFFICE FOR A WHILE."

AND HE'LL KEEP THINKING UP EXCUSES

AND I'LL KEEP GIVING HIM REASONS.

BEFORE HE KNOWS IT, HE'LL BE THERE.

GOOD.

DON'T WORRY-- YOU'RE TALKING TO "SUBTLE" BARNEY FIFE.

HE WON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING TO HIM.

HEY, AND?

HMM?

WHAT DO YOU SAY WE MOSEY OVER TO THE COFFEE SHOP

AND HAVE A LITTLE CUP OF COFFEE, HUH?

WHAT FOR?

OH, JUST TO... RELAX AND TALK.

WE CAN DO THAT HERE.

YEAH, BUT, UH, YOU KNOW

SORT OF GET AWAY FROM THE OFFICE FOR A LITTLE WHILE.

WELL, WHAT FOR?

WELL, UH...

ANDY... LET'S GO OVER TO THE COFFEE SHOP

AND HAVE A CUP OF COFFEE.

WHY?

TO MEET THELMA LOU'S COUSIN FROM ARKANSAS!

WHAT?

THELMA LOU'S COUSIN IS IN TOWN FROM ARKANSAS.

I PROMISED I'D GET YOU TO THE COFFEE SHOP AT 3:00

AND IF I DON'T, THELMA LOU'LL BE MAD AT ME.

OKAY.

IT AIN'T OFTEN I ASK YOU TO DO ME A FAVOR,

BUT THE ONE TIME I DO

YOU'D THINK YOU'D BE A LITTLE MORE COOPERATIVE.

ALL I ASK IS A SIMPLE THING...

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

OVER TO THE COFFEE SHOP TO MEET THELMA LOU'S COUSIN.

YOU COMING?

YOU SON OF A GUN.

YOU WAS GOIN' TO DO IT ALL THE TIME, WASN'T YOU?

GIVE ME THE SUGAR, WILL YA, ANDY?

HELP YOURSELF.

NO KIDDING. WAIT'LL YOU SEE HER.

SHE'S REALLY ATTRACTIVE.

THAT'S WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT BENJIE.

BENJIE?

THE ONE THAT LOOKED LIKE BENJAMIN FRANKLIN.

OH, NO, NO, REALLY, THIS ONE'S REALLY ATTRACTIVE.

OOH-OOH-OH, FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE, LOOK WHO'S HERE.

IT'S THELMA LOU AND HER ATTRACTIVE COUSIN.

WELL, FOR GOODNESS' SAKE, LOOK WHO'S HERE--

BARNEY AND ANDY!

IMAGINE RUNNING INTO YOU TWO.

YEAH, THIS IS A SURPRISE, ISN'T IT?

WELL, IT CERTAINLY IS.

OH, I'M SORRY.

YOU TWO HAVEN'T MET, HAVE YOU?

KAREN,

THIS IS SHERIFF TAYLOR.

ANDY, MEET MY COUSIN-- KAREN WORTH.

HELLO.

HOW ARE YOU? NICE TO SEE YOU.

THANK YOU.

SAY, AS LONG AS WE'RE ALL HERE TOGETHER,

WHY DON'T WE TAKE A BOOTH?

HEY, THAT'S A PEACH OF AN IDEA, THELMA LOU.

ALL RIGHT. LET'S DO THAT.

COME ON, KAREN.

WELL, OBVIOUSLY THESE TWO HAVE A LOT TO TALK ABOUT,

SO LET'S, UH, GO OUTSIDE.

BARNEY...

I'VE GOT SHOPPING TO DO.

WELL, I'LL DRIVE YOU.

BARNEY... THELMA LOU...

DO YOU GET THE FLEETIN' FEELIN'

THAT WE'RE BEING THROWN TOGETHER?

WELL, THE THOUGHT DID SORT OF ENTER MY HEAD.

YEAH. BARNEY'S ABOUT AS SUBTLE

AS A PIG SQUEALING FOR HIS SUPPER.

IF YOU'D RATHER NOT...

OH, NO...

AS A MATTER OF FACT, I RATHER WOULD.

BESIDES, YOU KNOW, THEY'VE GONE TO SO MUCH TROUBLE

TO GET US TOGETHER,

I'M AFRAID IT'D BREAK THEIR HEARTS

IF THEY THOUGHT THEY'D FAILED.

YEAH.

DO YOU THINK WE OUGHT TO GET MARRIED

BEFORE OR AFTER THE COFFEE?

WELL, I BELIEVE IN LONG ENGAGEMENTS MYSELF,

SO LET'S MAKE IT AFTER.

AFTER.

WELL HUH?

WELL?

WELL YEAH?

WELL?

WELL, WHAT?

WHAT HAPPENED?

WHAT HAPPENED?

WHAT HAPPENED?

WHAT HAPPENED WHEN?

AT THE COFFEE SHOP.

AT THE COFFEE SHOP?

BETWEEN YOU AND KAREN.

OH, OH, OH... WE HAD COFFEE.

AND AND

AND WHAT?

WELL, WHAT HAPPENED AFTER YOU HAD THE COFFEE?

WE GOT MARRIED.

OH, GOOD! I KNEW YOU TWO'D--

YOU GOT MARRIED? AW, COME ON, ANDY.

BOY, YOU'RE FUNNY, YOU ARE.

YOU OUGHT TO GO ON THE RADIO

AND BE AN ALL-NIGHT DISC JOCKEY.

AT LEAST THEN I COULD TURN YOU OFF.

NOW, SIMMER DOWN, BARNEY.

YOU'LL BE HAPPY TO KNOW THAT WE HIT IT OFF JUST FINE

AND WE GOT A DATE FOR TOMORROW.

NO KIDDING! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE HER?

PICTURE SHOW? A DANCE?

MAYBE YOU'LL GO FOR A NICE, LONG DRIVE, HUH?

AS A MATTER OF FACT

I FIGURE ON TAKING HER OUT TO FINNEGAN FLATS

AND DO A LITTLE CROW-SHOOTING.

YEAH, FINNEGAN FLATS... CROW!

OH, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, ANDY!

NOW, BARNEY...

YOU CALL THAT A PLACE TO TAKE A WOMAN?

BOY, YOU'RE SOME LOVER.

WELL, IT HAPPENS THAT I HAD IT ALL PLANNED

TO GO DO A LITTLE CROW-SHOOTING

AND I ASKED HER IF SHE'D LIKE TO COME ALONG

AND SHE SAID FINE.

COURSE, IF YOU THINK IT'S WRONG

I CAN CALL THE WHOLE THING OFF.

NO, NO, NO, I GUESS THAT'S ALL RIGHT FOR A STARTER.

JUST GO RIGHT AHEAD AS PLANNED.

GO AHEAD AS PLANNED?

YEAH. WELL, I APPRECIATE THAT.

WELL, SINCE YOU APPROVE, THEN,

I GUESS I'LL GO OUT AND GET SOME SHOTGUN SHELLS.

YEAH, WHY DON'T YOU DO THAT?

LOOKS LIKE I'M GOING TO HAVE TO GUIDE THE KID ALL THE WAY.

YOU LIKE HIM, HUH?

MM-HMM.

AND YOU ALREADY MADE A DATE?

MM-HMM.

OH, THAT'S WONDERFUL.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING? MOVIES

OR JUST A DRIVE IN THE MOONLIGHT?

WE'RE GOING OUT TO SHOOT CROWS.

SHOOT CROWS?!

WHY NOT? YOU KNOW ME WHEN IT COMES TO SHOOTING.

I COULDN'T BE MORE PLEASED.

THEN YOU TOLD HIM YOU'RE A SKEET CHAMPION?

NO, DEAR. IT DIDN'T COME UP.

BUT IT PROBABLY WILL TOMORROW.

BUT CROW

WELL, WE'LL JUST GET EVERYTHING HERE.

HERE, LET ME HELP YOU WITH SOME OF THESE THINGS.

OH, NO, WE CAN'T HAVE YOU COMING WAY OFF UP HERE

IN THE MIDDLE OF THE COUNTRY CARRYING ANYTHING.

OH, FOR CRYING OUT LOUD. I CAN CARRY SOMETHING.

LET ME TAKE THE BASKET.

WELL, NOW, THAT THERMOS IS LEAKING A LITTLE.

DON'T GET ANYTHING ON THAT PRETTY DRESS.

NO, I WON'T. RIGHT OVER HERE.

YOU KNOW, ANDY, THIS IS SOME

OF THE PRETTIEST COUNTRY I'VE EVER SEEN.

YEAH.

SEE THAT ROCK RIGHT OVER THERE THAT LOOKS LIKE AN EAGLE?

OH, MM-HMM.

YEAH, WE CALL THAT EAGLE ROCK.

OH, I SEE.

COME ON OVER HERE.

ALL RIGHT.

NOW, THIS IS A GOOD PLACE RIGHT HERE.

OH, THIS IS FINE.

YEAH.

AND YOU... SIT RIGHT DOWN HERE

ON THAT STOOL RIGHT THERE.

ANDY, YOU DON'T HAVE TO FUSS OVER ME LIKE THAT.

WELL... THERE'S USUALLY

SOME PRETTY GOOD CROW-SHOOTING AROUND HERE.

OH, REALLY?

YEAH.

I SURE AM GLAD YOU COULD COME ALONG.

I SURE AM GLAD YOU ASKED ME.

YOU LIKE TO WATCH SHOOTIN', DO YA?

I LOVE IT.

MOST WOMEN DON'T LIKE TO BE AROUND SHOOTIN'.

WELL, THAT SURE ISN'T TRUE OF ME.

ANDY, YOU SEE --

COVER YOUR EARS.

ANDY, I...

HUH.

I MISSED HIM JUST THE LEAST LITTLE BIT THERE.

YES, YOU SURE DID.

I GUESS I WASN'T LEADING HIM ENOUGH.

WELL, I'LL GET THE NEXT 'UN.

SURE, YOU WILL.

COVER YOUR EARS.

I HAD THE GUN RIGHT ON HIM.

I'M GONNA HAVE TO GET ME SOME NEW SIGHTS.

MM.

I HOPE THIS NOISE DIDN'T BOTHER YOU.

NO.

I'M GETTING USED TO IT.

YOU SURE DO GET USED TO THINGS FAST

DON'T YOU?

YOU KNOW, I-I ALWAYS DID THINK THIS WAS...

THIS WAS PRETTY COUNTRY

BUT... IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME A-SAYING IT

YOU SURE DO MAKE IT LOOK A WHOLE LOT PRETTIER.

THANK YOU, ANDY.

YOU, AN EXPERT WITH A GUN, DIDN'T EVEN GET TO SHOOT?

DIDN'T YOU TELL HIM?

I TRIED TO TWO OR THREE TIMES,

BUT I JUST NEVER GOT AROUND TO IT.

BESIDES, IT DIDN'T MATTER.

NO?

NO, IT WASN'T NECESSARY.

I LIKED THE DAY JUST AS IT WAS.

HE DIDN'T TREAT ME LIKE A CRACK SHOT.

HE TREATED ME LIKE A LADY.

AND I LIKED IT.

REALLY?

WHAT'S MORE, I'M GOING TO HIS HOUSE FOR SUPPER TONIGHT.

WONDERFUL!

WELL, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M GOING TO CALL BARNEY AND GIVE HIM A PROGRESS REPORT.

WELL WELL?

WELL, WHAT?

WHAT HAPPENED WITH YOU AND KAREN?

YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENED WITH ME AND KAREN.

I TOOK HER CROW-SHOOTIN'.

I KNOW YOU DID. AND...?

WE HAD A GOOD TIME.

YOU DID?

VERY NICE. VERY, VERY, VERY NICE.

I KNEW YOU WOULD, I JUST KNEW YOU WOULD.

YOU THINK MAYBE YOU AND KAREN MIGHT, UH...

WHOA, NO, NO.

NOW, NO, IT'S A LITTLE TOO EARLY FOR THAT.

WELL...

I'LL HAVE TO TALK TO HER A LITTLE BIT.

FIND OUT A LITTLE BIT ABOUT HER.

OH, I TALKED TO HER A LITTLE.

FOUND OUT A LITTLE BIT ABOUT HER.

AND THEN TONIGHT WHEN I HAVE HER OVER FOR SUPPER...

SUPPER, GOOD, GOOD.

AFTER SUPPER WE'LL GO IN THE LIVIN' ROOM.

ME AND AUNT BEE WILL TALK TO HER A LITTLE BIT MORE.

SEE HOW SHE MEASURES UP.

BUT SO FAR SHE MEASURES UP PRETTY GOOD, HUH?

OH, YOU BETTER KNOW IT.

MORE COFFEE, MISS KAREN?

NO, THANK YOU, AUNT BEE.

MAYBE YOU'D LIKE TO GET UP FROM THE TABLE

AND GO IN YONDER?

THAT'D BE FINE.

ALL RIGHT. COME ON, OP.

WELL, THANK YOU, GENTLEMEN.

OPIE, MAYBE YOU BETTER GO UP

AND GET READY TO GO TO BED, HUH?

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT.

SIT DOWN HERE.

PAW?

HUH?

CAN MISS KAREN READ ME A STORY?

OPIE, I'D LOVE TO.

OPIE, YOUR PAW AND I'D LIKE TO TALK WITH MISS KAREN.

SHE'LL DO IT ANOTHER TIME.

MAYBE SHE'LL COME AGAIN.

SURE HOPE SO. SHE'S NICE.

THANK YOU, OPIE.

GOOD NIGHT. GOOD NIGHT, PAW.

SLEEP TIGHT. OKAY.

GOOD NIGHT, AUNT BEE.

GOOD NIGHT. SEE YOU IN THE MORNIN'.

OKAY.

GOOD NIGHT, OPIE, AND PLEASANT DREAMS.

OKAY.

HE SURE IS A CUTE LITTLE GUY, ISN'T HE?

OH, WE'RE PROUD OF HIM.

UH...

DO YOU LIKE LITTLE BOYS?

OH, I LOVE 'EM,

ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY'RE AS CUTE AS THAT ONE.

OH, WELL, MUCH OBLIGED.

AUNT BEE, THAT WAS AS GOOD A GOOSEBERRY PIE

AS I EVER PUT IN MY MOUTH.

KAREN, MAYBE YOU'D LIKE

ANOTHER PIECE OF PIE?

OH, NO. NO, I COULDN'T, REALLY.

I JUST ATE TOO MUCH DINNER.

DO YOU BAKE PIES YOURSELF?

YES, I DO.

NOT GOOSEBERRY?

OH, YES. NOT AS GOOD AS AUNT BEE'S.

YOU KNOW, THAT'S ANDY'S FAVORITE.

OH, REALLY?

THAT'S A MYSTERY I'M READIN'.

OH, REALLY?

YOU LIKE 'EM?

I LOVE 'EM-- THE SCARIER, THE BETTER.

OH, AIN'T IT A SIGHT?

UH... DO YOU LIKE MUSIC?

YES, I DO.

ANDY, PLAY US A LITTLE SOMETHING.

OH, AUNT BEE...

I'M SURE KAREN WOULD LOVE IT.

OH, WELL...

OH, NOW, GO ON.

OH, AUNT BEE,

SHE DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS OLD COUNTRY GUITAR.

HE PLAYS AND HE SINGS WELL, TOO.

WELL, IT'S NOT GOOD, BUT IT'S LOUD.

I'D REALLY LOVE TO HEAR SOMETHING.

WELL, LET ME SIT OVER HERE, CLOSE TO THE CROWD.

ALL RIGHT.

WELL, NOW, LET'S SEE. WHAT'LL I PLAY?

PLAY SOMETHING LIVELY.

PICK A LITTLE OF "SOURWOOD MOUNTAIN."

I KNOW THAT ONE.

YOU DO?

YEAH, WELL, PARTS OF IT.

* CHICKENS GROW ON OLD SOURWOOD MOUNTAIN *

* HEY, DE-OLE, DE-LITTLUM DAY *

* SO MANY PRETTY GIRLS, I CAN'T COUNT 'EM *

* SO MANY PRETTY GIRLS, I CAN'T COUNT 'EM *

* HEY, DE-OLE, DE-LITTLUM DAY *

* OLD MAN, OLD MAN, I WANT YOUR DAUGHTER *

* OLD MAN, OLD MAN, I WANT YOUR DAUGHTER *

* HEY, DE-OLE, DE-LITTLUM DAY *

* BAKE ME BREAD AND TOTE ME WATER *

* BAKE ME BREAD AND TOTE ME WATER *

* HEY, DE-OLE, DE-LITTLUM DAY *

* MY TRUE LOVE'S A BLUE-EYED DAISY *

* MY TRUE LOVE'S A BLUE-EYED DAISY *

* HEY, DE-OLE, DE-LITTLUM DAY *

* IF I DON'T GET HER, I'LL GO CRAZY *

* IF I DON'T GET HER, I'LL GO CRAZY *

* HEY, DE-OLE, DE-LITTLUM DAY... *

BARNEY!

OH, THELMA, HAVE I GOT NEWS FOR YOU.

WHAT?

BABY, YOU AND I HAVE DONE IT.

WHAT?

WE HAVE JUST SENT A ROMANTIC SPACESHIP INTO ORBIT.

YOU MEAN ANDY AND KAREN?

HOW WONDERFUL.

YEAH. I JUST HAD A LONG TALK WITH THE BOY

AND HE IS PLEASED, VERY PLEASED.

ISN'T THAT NICE?

HI, BARNEY.

WHAT ARE YOU TWO GOIN' ON ABOUT?

WELL, MA'AM, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU REALIZE IT OR NOT

BUT YOU HAVE HOOKED A MIGHTY BIG FISH.

I WHAT?

I GUESS IT'S NO SECRET, SO I'LL TELL YA--

KAREN, YOU HAVE PASSED MUSTER.

BARNEY, DON'T YOU HAVE TO GO?

NO, I AIN'T IN NO RUSH.

PASSED MUSTER?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT?

WELL...

KAREN AND I HAVE THINGS TO DO.

WHY DON'T WE MEET YOU LATER?

NO, WAIT A MINUTE. GO AHEAD, BARNEY.

WELL, ANDY LIKES YOU. HE LIKES YOU A LOT.

TOLD ME SO THIS MORNIN'.

TOLD ME ALL ABOUT LAST NIGHT AND HOW WELL YOU TWO HIT IT OFF

WHAT ALL YOU HAD IN COMMON--

YOU LIKE SINGIN'

AND BEING ABLE TO MAKE GOOSEBERRY PIE

AND LIKIN' CHILDREN.

YOU ANSWERED EVERY QUESTION JUST RIGHT.

I DID? YOU MEAN, I WAS BEING AUDITIONED?

YEAH.

BARNEY, WHY DON'T YOU GO ON PATROL?

I WANT TO TELL KAREN EVERYTHING. NO, THIS IS IMPORTANT.

KAREN,

ANDY WANTED TO FIND OUT ALL ABOUT YOU

AND HE SURE DID.

AND HE LIKES WHAT HE FOUND OUT.

YOU'RE A LUCKY GIRL.

OH, I KNOW.

HELLO?

WHY, HELLO, ANDY.

KAREN? SHE'S RIGHT HERE.

ANDY WANTS TO TALK TO YOU.

LUCKY ME.

HELLO?

TOMORROW AFTERNOON?

WELL, I'M JUST THRILLED TO PIECES

THAT YOU'D ASK ME FOR A DATE, ANDY,

BUT I JUST WON'T BE ABLE TO MAKE IT.

WHAT? NO, NO, NO, NO.

JUST A MINUTE. WHAT IS IT?

I KNOW WHAT HE'S INVITIN' YOU TO,

AND YOU CAN'T TURN HIM DOWN.

OH, I CAN'T?

NO, NO. HE WANTS YOU TO COME TO THE SKEET SHOOT

AND YOU GOTTA COME.

TO THE WHAT?

THE SKEET SHOOT. DON'T YOU SEE?

HE WANTS YOU TO BE THERE

SO'S HE CAN SHOW OFF IN FRONT OF YOU WITH HIS SHOOTIN'.

THAT'S AS GOOD AS SAYIN' YOU'RE NUMBER ONE WITH HIM.

OH, I SEE.

I'M SORRY, ANDY.

UH, WHERE WAS IT YOU SAID YOU WANTED TO TAKE ME?

OH... WELL, OF COURSE, I JUST LOVE SHOOTING.

I WOULDN'T MISS IT FOR ANYTHING IN THE WORLD.

Man: PULL.

PULL.

MISSED THEM BOTH, ANDY.

YEAH, HE'S SHOOTIN' BEHIND THEM.

THIS CONTEST IS GOING TO BE A SHOO-IN FOR YOU.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

ARE YOU KIDDING?

YOU SEEN THAT MISERABLE SHOOTIN'.

AIN'T NO WAY FOR YOU TO LOSE.

YOU'RE GONNA WIN THAT BIG CUP EASY, PAW.

WELL...

Man: PULL.

PULL.

MISSED AGAIN. THAT WRAPS THEM UP.

ON THE FIRIN' LINE NEXT: SHERIFF ANDY TAYLOR.

WISH ME LUCK.

WHERE'S KAREN?

HUH?

SHOOTIN' AGAINST SHERIFF TAYLOR

IS MISS KAREN MOORE.

KAREN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

THEY TOLD ME THAT ANYONE COULD ENTER THE CONTEST

SO I ENTERED.

BUT THIS IS A SKEET SHOOT.

WHY, YOU'LL HURT YOUR EARS.

WHAT'S YOUR COUSIN TRYIN' TO DO?

WHY DON'T WE JUST WATCH AND SEE?

Announcer: LEAD-OFF MAN WILL BE SHERIFF TAYLOR.

ALL RIGHT, ANDY, STEP UP. LET'S GO.

Man 2: COME ON, ANDY, YOU CAN DO IT.

Man 3: YOU SHOW 'EM, SHERIFF.

PULL.

PULL.

MISS MOORE. NEXT, PLEASE.

IT'S STILL NOT TOO LATE TO BACK OUT, KAREN.

AIN'T NO USE TO MAKE A FOOL OF YOURSELF.

PULL.

Woman 1: GOOD ONE, KAREN.

PULL.

SHE GOT 'EM BOTH. SHE ACTUALLY HIT 'EM.

MY GOODNESS, THAT GIRL CAN DO EVERYTHING.

YEAH, SHE CAN DO EVERYTHING.

PULL.

PULL.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.

THE OTHER DAY WHEN WE WAS SHOOTIN' CROWS

YOU DIDN'T EVEN TOUCH THE GUN.

WELL, YOU DIDN'T OFFER, REMEMBER?

I BELIEVE IT'S YOUR TURN, SHERIFF.

PULL.

PULL.

Man: MISS. WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH PAW? HE USUALLY DON'T MISS.

I'LL TELL YA WHAT'S THE MATTER --

IT-IT'S A TRICK.

ANDY'S JUST THROWIN' THE CONTEST

SO'S NOT TO MAKE HER FEEL BAD.

WHY, ANDY WOULDN'T DELIBERATELY LOSE.

I'M SURPRISED AT YOU, BARNEY.

LOSIN' TO A WOMAN... JIMINY.

IT'S THE END OF AN ERA.

ANDY, PLEASE.

FOLKS, THIS IS THE FINAL PAIR OF DOUBLES.

PULL.

MISS.

MISS MOORE, PLEASE.

Woman 2: SHE'S WONDERFUL, ISN'T SHE?

Man 4: SHE'S GOOD.

PULL.

FINAL SCORE:

23 HITS FOR SHERIFF TAYLOR

25 FOR MISS MOORE-- A PERFECT SCORE.

QUIET! QUIET!

QUIET! SETTLE DOWN!

HERE YOU ARE, MISS MOORE...

AND CONGRATULATIONS.

THAT WAS MIGHTY GOOD SHOOTIN'.

WELL, I'LL SEE YOU LATER, ANDY.

CONGRATULATIONS. CARRY THAT FOR YA?

I'LL TAKE THAT.

YOU BEEN HUMILIATED ENOUGH.

NOW, BARNEY...

I HOPE YOU'RE SATISFIED, MISS CITY SLICKER.

TRYIN' TO MAKE A FOOL OUT OF ANDY

IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE TOWN.

I WAS JUST TRYIN' TO SHOW ANDY

HOW MUCH WE HAVE IN COMMON.

YOU DID WANT TO KNOW ALL ABOUT ME,

DIDN'T YOU? NOW YOU KNOW.

BUT DO YOU KNOW SOMETHIN'?

I DON'T THINK I TRULY KNOW ALL THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT YOU.

LET'S SEE, NOW-- YOULIKE MUSIC.

WELL, I...

DO YOU LIKE OPERA, MODERN, CLASSICAL?

I COULDN'T... AND BOOKS--

DO YOU LIKE FICTION OR NONFICTION?

WHO'S YOUR FAVORITE AMERICAN AUTHOR?

I, UH... OH, AND PLEASE

JUST TELL ME ONE THING:

DO YOU THINK YOU COULD EVER MAKE A LIVIN'

AT ANYTHING BESIDES SHERIFFIN'?

I HOPE YOU DON'T MIND MY ASKIN' YOU ALL THESE QUESTIONS,

BUT THESE ARE THINGS I REALLY HAVE TO KNOW

SO I CAN EVALUATE YOU PROPERLY.

YOU KNOW, PASS MUSTER.

WHAT ARE YOU TRYIN' TO DO HERE?

IT'S ALL VERY SIMPLE.

WHEN MR. TAYLOR GAVE ME THE THRILL AND HONOR

OF OKAYING ME AS WORTHY OF HIS ATTENTIONS,

I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE AWFULLY NICE

IF I COULD AWARD HIM THE SAME THRILL.

I'LL TELL YOU, MR. TAYLOR,

I'LL CONSIDER ALL OF YOUR QUALITIES

AND I'LL LET YOU KNOW IF YOU MADE THE GRADE.

WELL, OF ALL THE UNMITIGATED GALL.

YEP.

I SURE HAD IT.

YOU?

EVERYTHING THAT SHE DISHED OUT, I HAD COMIN'.

WELL, I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT'S GOIN' ON HERE.

WELL, BARNEY, LET'S JUST PUT IT LIKE THIS:

I JUST COME IN SECOND IN ANOTHER CONTEST--

THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES.

MAYBE SECOND AIN'T SO BAD.

HEY, KAREN, WAIT UP!

I STILL CAN'T GET OVER IT.

HOW COME YOU DIDN'T TELL ME YOU WAS

THE WOMAN SKEET SHOOTING CHAMPION OF ARKANSAS?

SHE WANTED TO, BUT YOU NEVER LET HER GET AROUND TO IT.

WELL, SHE SURE TOLD ME GOOD WHEN SHE DID.

I HOPE YOU WEREN'T TOO ANGRY, ANDY.

OF COURSE NOT. THAT'S WHY I ASKED YOU

TO COME OUT AND DO A LITTLE TARGET PRACTICE WITH US.

I LIKE TO WATCH A CHAMPION AT WORK.

DON'T YOU, BARN?

YEAH, SURE.

I KNOW HOW YOU ARE WITH A SHOTGUN,

BUT HOW ARE YOU WITH A PISTOL?

PRETTY GOOD.

WOW!

NOW, THAT'S WHAT I CALL SOME KIND OF FINE SHOOTIN'!

WELL, THANK YOU, ANDY. HOW ABOUT THAT, BARN?

YEAH. OF COURSE, IT AIN'T TOO DIFFICULT

WHEN YOU'RE JUST STANDING THERE TAKING CAREFUL AIM LIKE THAT.

OF COURSE, IT'S ANOTHER STORY

WHEN YOU GOT TO MAKE A QUICK DRAW.

SHOW IT TO US, BARNEY. SHOW US A QUICK DRAW.

PLEASE, BARNEY. YEAH!

YOU OUGHT TO SEE. YEAH.

REAL GOOD? YEAH.