Original subtitles

(whistling sprightly tune)

Starring Andy Griffith...

with Ronny Howard.

Opie, what in the world are you doing?

Coloring,

What?

The house, the rug. or yourself?

Huh?

Look.Look at the mess

you've just made.

Where?

Where?! Why, this room looks as if a cyclone had hit it

I declare, Opie, I don't know what I'm going to do with you.

What's he done now, Aunt Bee?

Oh, 'What's he done, what's he done?"

This boy is far and away the sloppiest, messiesl boy

I ever saw in all my born days.

He hasn’t got the faintest notion of order

or putting things back where they belong,

Opie, you ought to be ashamed of yourself,

making a mess like that.

Now, you know betler than that.

How do you think it makes me feel

having your Aunt Bee say

you‘re the sloppiest, messiest boy she ever saw?

Why you ough.“

-Andy.7 -Ma'am?

Andy, I take it all back.

He's not the sloppiest, messiest boy I've ever seen,

He's the second sloppiest, messiest.

What?

Well, he can't be the first

as long as you‘re around.

Me?

Yes, you.

Look. Look at the mess that you’ve made,

Gosh, Paw, you're catching it, too.

Yeah.

Wasn't for me, this house wouldn't be ft to live in.

This isn't a living room.

This is a combination closet, warehouse,

waste paper basket, and storeroom.

And if you think your bedrooms upstairs are any better,

you're very much mistaken.

And as for you, young man,

the next time you take a peanut butter and jelly sandwich

to your room and you don't finish it, would you mind

instead of under your pillow?

Oh, so that's where it went.

(telephone ringing)

Oh, never mind, never mind.

I'll answer it, I'll... I'll answer it.

Hello?

Long distance?

Long distance.

Hello?

Oh! Oh, hello, Edgar.

Cousin Edgar.

Hello.

How are you?

What?

Oh, of course.

Of course, Edgar.

As soon as I can.

Of course!

Oh, Edgar, what are kinfolk for?

The first thing in the morning.

Right. Bye, Edgar.

What's the matter

with Edgar?

It's Maude.

She slept with her neck in a crane,

the window was open, and she got the bursitis,

Oh, the bursitis.

The poor thing. She suffers with it so bad.

Well, the doctor said it wasn't too bad.

She just has to stay in bed for a couple of days.

Uh-huh.

Itold him I'd go over and help out.

Well, of course, you can,

So, itl leave the first thing in the morning

I might stayjust as long as I...

Oh, my goodness.

What's the matter?

Oh, heavens, well, what's this plaoe

going to look like when I get back?

How are you two going to manage while I'm gone?

And who's going to feed you?

And who's going to tell Opie when to take a bath?

And who's going to see to it that you get

two green vegetables and one yellow?

And who's going to do the shopping for you?

And who‘s going to cook the Sunday dinner? And who,..?

(car horn honking)

-Oh, dear! -Oh, Barneys ready

-to drive you to the bus station. -Oh, my goodness.

0h, who's going to do the dishes?

0h, me and Opie'll do the dishes. Don't worry.

-Now, hurry up-- you‘ll miss the bus. -I am, I am right now,

-Andy, see that Opie takes a bath every night. -Yes'm.

And Opie, see that your father

hangs up his clothes when he comes home from work.

-|'|l do it. —Andy, don't let him

take any food up to his room.

-All right. -And if he does, look under his pillow.

-Yes‘m. —Now, Opie, I want you

to change your socks every morning.

I want you to brush your teeth,

and I want you to wash your hands after every meal

and eat all of your care.”

Maybe I'd better not go, hmm?

Aunt Bee, you've got to go,

Yes, I suppose so.

Well...

Good-bye, Andy.

Bye.

Good-bye, Opie, darling.

I can't go.

| just can't go.

Oh, Aunt Bee, please. Golly!

Oh, dear...

oh, dear.

Now, come on.

Oh, you poor boys.

Have a good trip.

Bye, Andy.

Bye, Opie.

Bye, Aunt Bee.

Have a good trip!

as

-Bye! -Bye!

(car pulls away)

Boy, she sure does go on, don't she, Paw?

Yeah, well, that‘s ‘cause she loves us, Opie,

and she womes about us.

Wanting us to be healthy and comfortable

and well taken care of.

Yeah, but it sure is going to be nice

to be a messer—upper again for a couple of days.

No, you ain‘t. and no, lain‘t.

Come on.

No, sir. We're going to be nice and neat and orderly,

just like Aunt Bee wants us to be.

We are?

Yes, sir.

And we're going to start right here in the kitchen

and wash these dishes, just like I promised Aunt Bee,

Why/2 She ain‘t going to be here

to yell at us.

Well, now, you are looking at it wrong.

See, that‘s like saying you milk a cow

to get strong fingers.

That's the wrong way to look at it.

We ain‘t going to be nice and neat and orderly

to please Aunt Bee.

We‘re going to be nice and neat and orderly

because that‘s the right way to do things.

Now, I'll wash them, and-and you put them away.

All right?

(humming)

Right over there.

Now, get that one all ready.

(whistling)

There you are, here‘s anothern.

Opie?

Don't you think it might be a good idea

if you was to dry them before you put them away?

| wave them a little before I put them in~

like this.

That ain't good enough.

Vlfipe them.

(chuckles)

That there really is hard to get clean,

l betterjust save it till I get more time.

Yeah, boy, Aunt Bee really

is going to be pleased when she sees how clean

and spic and span everything is.

I thought we wasn't going to be doing 't to please Aunt Bee.

Oh, well, there's no harm

in killing two birds with one stone, is there?

No, but it I‘m going to be nice and neat and orderly,

I sure would like to have a good reason.

I told you the reason.

Not with your sleeve.

0h.

And not with your handkerchief, either.

Here, look here— see that?

Great invention.

Dish towel. Try that,

(chuckles)

(humming)

(plate breaking)

Opie!

I couldn't help it, Paw.

It just kind of slipped away from me.

Well, all right, but next time you break one

I surely would appreciate it if you'd break it

before I go to all the trouble of washing it.

Okay, Paw, I'll try.

(telephone ringing)

(sighs)

Hello.

Yeah. Yeah.

All right. All right.

I'll be there.

Opie. .

I got to leave. Somebody“ ,

somebody knocked down the stop sign...

the stop sign over at Spring Street,

and I got to go over there and fix it.

What about the dishes, Paw?

Well, I'll... I‘ll get them first chance I get,

I tell you what you can do.

You can kind of pick up your room a little bit

before you go to school.

Okay, Paw.

Okay, don't be late, now,

I won‘t, Paw.

5;? viéaa

Hey, Opie!

Jimmy?

Yeah. Ready to go?

In a minute. I'm in my room.

Come on up!

Opie?

Yeah.

I'm under here.

Boy, you‘re the littlest ghost I ever saw!

Just a minute, Jimmy.

I've got to make up my bed.

What are you doing?

Fixing up my room.

Why?

'Cause it's messy, I guess.

Looks okay to me.

Me, too, but I guess

grownups see things we don‘t.

Can I help you?

Sure. You know,

cleaning up your room can be fun.

Hey, that looks good enough.

Let‘s get the blanket.

(grunts)

Hey, Opie, look at this!

Aw, that ain't nothin'!

Look at this!

That ain't so good!

I'll show you how!

I can do it better this time.

Watch this!

Opie, come on, let's get a little breakfast.

Okay, Paw.

(sighs)

Let's go.

Would you look at this place?

Just look at it!

What‘s the matter with it, Paw?

What‘s the matter with it?

Looks like a bunch of pigs been through here.

No, Paw. Just us.

That's right. Just us pigs. You and me.

Ain't that a shame?

Aunt Bee gone just a couple of days

and this place looks worse than a pigpen.

What should we do, Paw?

Well, we got to do something.

We gonna have to tidy up

and pick up and polish

and sweep and vacuum and dust and put things away and...

Only let's not do it right now,

Good!

Let's get some breakfast first.

It really don‘t look so bad, Paw.

-You‘ll get used to it. -(chuckles)

Would you look at this kitchen?!

Pigs been in here, too, Pavf?

It surely does look like it.

We gonna have to get busy in here, too.

We gonna have to sweep and mop and pick up

and wash these dishes and put 'em away

and wash the pots and the pans...

Only let's not do it right now,

Good!

Let's get some breakfast first.

Okay, Paw.

All right, now, you get some dishes

and set the table, and I'll whip up

a batch of bacon and eggs.

Paw, there ain't no plates to set the table with.

0h.

Well, you know what

you're going to have to do, Opie?

What, Paw?

Go over to Mrs. Edwards‘ and borrow some dishes.

How many?

Well, let's see... get two big plates

and a cup and a saucer and a glass...

and-and-and-and get some knives and forks and spoons

and—and two frying pans—

one for the bacon and one for the eggs.

(phone rings)

Wait, wait a minute.

Hello?

Long... long distance?

It‘s long distance.

Must be Aunt Bee calling from Mt. Pilot.

(clears throat)

(yelling): Hello!

Hello, Andy?

It‘s me, Aunt Bee, calling from Mt. Pilot.

It's Aunt Bee calling from Mt. Pilot.

Hello!

I‘m fine, just fine,

He's fine, just fine,

He's standing right here beside of me.

You want to talk to him?

Come here, Opie.

Say hello... say hello to yourAunt Bee.

Hi, Aunt Bee! How are ya?

Fine, just fine,

Here's Paw again.

Hello?

Hello, Andy.

Is everything all right?

Is everything in order?

In order? Uh, well,

of course, everything‘s in order.

Mm-hmm. lcan imagine.

The living room is a mess

with papers and clothes and toys,

and the kitchen‘s even worse.

The sink is piled high with pots and pans.

And... Come on. now, tell the truth.

That‘s what it‘s like, isn't it?

Uh, well... well, no, Aunt Bee.

Everything‘s just-just fine and dandy.

Mm-hmm,

Well, Andy, I called to tell you Maude‘s feeling much better,

and I‘ll be coming home bythe afternoon bus.

Oh, well, that's fine, Aunt Bee.

We certainly are looking...

This aftemoon?

Yes. Why?

Oh, n-nothing.

We'll meet you at the bus station. Bye,

Bye.

(groans)

Opie, Aunt Bee's coming in this afternoon.

She is?!

Yeah.

I told her everything was in order,

Can you imagine what she's going to say

when she sees the place looking like this?

Uh-huh. She'll say, "Land sakes alive, look at this house!

"Just look at it!

If it wasn't for me, this house wouldn‘t be fit to live in."

(chuckles): Yeah.

We wouldn't want her to say that, would we?

No.

All right. Let's get busy, then.

You get your room, I’ll get the kitchen,

and we‘ll both get the living room.

Okay, Paw.

Okay. Oh, and, Opie.

Yes, Paw?

Now, it the underside of your pillow looks like

a peanut butter and jelly sandwich,

don‘t just scrape it off; change it.

lwill, Paw.

That‘s a mighty fine job you did on your room, Opie.

Sure is, Paw.

We really did it, didn't we?

Sure did, Paw.

Yeah, this place looks neat as a pin.

Sure does, Paw.

It makes you feel good, don't it?

Kind of a warm feeling

right in the middle of your stomach,

lightness around your heart,

your head two or three feet above your shoulders.

You know why you‘re feeling that way, don‘t you, how

‘Cause I‘m pooped.

Naw, we feel good ‘cause we know how happy

it’s going to make Aunt Bee when she sees what we done.

Yeah. Boy, is she going to be happy

when she finds out

we can get along pretty good without her.

Yeah, Boy. she‘ll look around

she‘ll see this place and how clean...

What did you say?

I said how happy she'll be

when she finds out

we can get along without her.

Yeah, that's what I thought you said,

What's the matter, Paw?

I think we made a terrible mistake, son.

We did, Paw? How?

Well, let's see... how can I explain it to you?

Oh, oh... which one would make you feel worse—

it I was to say to you

"Opie, do this and do that"~ ‘cause I needed your help?

Or it I was to say to you, "Opie, I don't need you"?

Paw, you do, too, need me.

Well, of course I do.

The point is, you want to be needed, see?

And so does Aunt Bee, and so does everybody else,

And see, that's where we made our big mistake—

by getting this place all spic and span,

we're going to give Aunt Bee the feeling

that she ain‘t needed.

You, uh... you know what we got to do, boy?

We got to mess this place up again?

That's right. We got to let them pigs back in here.

Okay, Paw. Here goes.

Whewl You know, it‘s near 'bout as tiring

to mess a place up as it is to un-mess it.

Yeah, but it sure is a lot more fun.

Ain't it? We better get on down

to the bus station. Aunt Bee‘s about due in.

(sighs)

(chuckles)

Yes, sir, we surely did a mighty finejob,

Ain‘t it a dinger, Paw?

Yes, sir.

MISS EDWARDS: Hi, Andy.

Well, hey, Miss Edwards. How are you?

-Morning, Opie. -Hi!

I'm just fine, Andy.

Oh, I stopped by to see when Bee’s coming back, Andy.

Well, now, ain't that a coincidence?

We was just on our way to the bus station to meet her.

Why don't you stop by this evening and say hello to her?

I'll do that.

-You'll excuse us? We'll be late. -Sure.

OPIE: Bye.

(car starts)

0h!

Oh! Did you ever see such a house?

(clucks tongue): Poor Bee.

(sighing): Well...

All right.

Come on, young'un.

0h, Aunt Bee, we surely did miss you.

We surely did.

Yes, sir, Aunt Bee, we surely did miss you.

Did you miss us?

Oh, terribly, and I worried about you, too,

but your paw told me over the phone

how well you were managing.

Well, I‘m glad.

| only hope I can get the door open.

Oh, Aunt Bee, before you go in,

I didn’t get too much time to clean up.

Oh, now, stop worrying,

We'll clean it up with a mop and a pail

and a bulldozer.

Well...

I'm sorry, Aunt Bee.

We really should have taken time to, uh...

Why... it looks fine.

Just fine.

Wonderful, the way you've managed.

Why, the house looks as good...

better than I could have done myself.

Well, that ain't our fault.

We went through...

on, now, don't be modest, Opie.

You and your Paw did a finejob,

Well, lguess I could have stayed

at cousin Edgar‘s a little longer,

seeing as how well

you got along without me.

We... we didn't really get along

without you, Aunt Bee.

Oh, yes. Yes, you did, Andy.

The house looks just beautiful,

(voice breaking): Makes me very happy.

I'm... I'm so proud of you boys.

I'm... I'm so proud and happy that...

I could...

Aunt Bee, we didn‘t get along that good.

Really, we didn‘t.

We're kind of surprised, too.

l... I mean...

(clattering)

What was that?

What was what?

That noise.

What noise?

What noise?

Andy, you heard that as well as I did.

It sounds as if it‘s coming from Opie's room.

Well, Aunt Bee, don't go up therejust yet,

Why not?

Well, Opie‘s room might be a mess,

and he might be trying to pick it up

before you see it.

Well, what would he do that for?

What am I here for?

Opie, you stop whatever that is you're doing!

Opie, you keep a-going!

Ah! Thought you could get it out of there

without my seeing it, did you?

No, I thought I could...

You thought you'd try to put something over on me.

Well, you can't, young man!

Why, just look at this room!

(dishes clattering)

Your father, he‘s trying to clean up the kitchen.

Aha! Caught you red-handed, too, didn‘t I?

Oh, l-l guess you did, Aunt Bee.

Look at this place!

Just look at it!

Well, I'm sony, but when you called to say

you was coming in this afternoon,

me and Opie just had time to do the parlor.

Oh, and you thought you'd clean up the rest behind my back?

Well, Andy Taylor, a body‘d have to get up

mighty early in the morning to put one over on Bee Taylor.

Yes, sir, a body surely would.

Land sakes alive!

Look at this room!

Just look at... I don't know what to do

with the two of you.

You're helpless, absolutely helpless.

If i wasn't for me, this house wouldn't

be fit to live in.

Well, it's a good thing I didn‘t stay

with Maude a little longer.

I wouldn't have been able to get into the house.

I just don't know when or where to begin.

(knocking on door)

Come in.

Yoo—hoo! Bee!

Hello, Bertha.

Hello, Bee.

Hello, Andy.

Hey, Miss Edwards.

Oh, it‘s so good

to have you home again, Bee,

Oh it's good to see you, Bertha.

Come on over here and sit down.

Well...

how did you find the house

when you got home, Bee?

The house? Oh, Bertha, you wouldn‘t believe it.

It looked as if it hadn't seen a dust mop or a broom

since the day I left.

What?

Oh, worse. It looked as it it had been

taken care of by somebody

who would be more at home in a pigpen.

Well...

Well!

(door slams)

Well, what did I say that was wrong?

(whistling sprightly tune)