Original subtitles

(whistling sprightly tune)

Starring Andy Griffith...

with Ronny Howard.

Also sfam‘ng Don Knotrs.

Well, ‘here it is,

Mr. Mayor‘ gentlemen,

I certainly appreciate you

giving me this chance

to speak before the town council,

and I hope you decide to give me your permission

to make my picture here in Mayberry.

I'd like to starl filming next week,

How long you figure on being here, Mri Harmon?

A week, maybe ten days.

Sounds pretty good,

Mayor?

Uh,.. well, uh.,. Floyd?

Well...

Orville?

Mmm... Mayor?

Why don’t you step outside for a spell?

We'll have us a quick meeting. Mr, Harmon.

Be glad to.

Thank you. gentlemen.

Won‘t be long— just a minute or two,

(door closing)

(all arguing)

I don‘t like this nary a bit!

Me, neither.

How do we know that we can trust him?

How do we know they ain‘t coming here to laugh at us?

Oh. no. I'm against this.

Me, too.

Well. I'm with you boys.

Now, all those opposed...

Now, wait a minute, Mayor.

We ain‘t giving this thing a fair chance.

How do we know they’re coming here to laugh at us?

Why, a motion picture being made right here in Mayberry,

it might be a good thing for the town.

Well, that's just what I‘ve been thinking,

Might be a good thing for the town.

Now, all those in favor...

Hold on, there. I still say

what are they making this movie for?

Yeah. How do we know they ain't making it

so‘s they can laugh at us?

Well, what would they laugh at, Floyd?

At the way we talk or look

or our little fat mayor.

Are you going to allow that, Andy?

Are you going to let them make a picture here

and laugh at your little fat mayor?

Well, I ain't. All those opposed...

Now wait a minute, Mayor.

Ain‘t we a»piokin’ our peaches 'fore theyre fuzzed up good?

Huh?

Now, let me do this-«

let me take this Mr. Harmon

on a tour of the town.

I can show him the way we work and live and talk,

and like that, and I can watch him.

And if he's got a idee to poke any fun at us,

well, I can know it right quick.

No, sir. Once and for all, no. No, sir.

Now, all those opposed...

Just a minute, Mayor.

Andy's got an idea here.

Yeah.

Reckon we got nothing to lose.

ANDY: Might be worth a try.

Well, that’s what I say.

Might be worth a try.

I‘m so glad you all see it my way,

Well, now, that‘s what makes you such a good mayor—

you think for yourself.

No kidding, Andy, they really going to make a picture

right here in Mayberry?

They sure are.

I'm going to get the place kinda picked up a little

before Mr. Harmon gets here.

Mr. Harmon come all the way from Hollywood, did he?

He did.

Boy, I’d sure like to get out there someday.

Me, too.

Help me tie these on, will you?

Oh, yeah.

You know Gordon Bellfield, don't you?

Yeah.

He went out there last summer on his vacation.

Did he?

Yeah.

Took one of them guided tours.

You know, that goes right bythe movie stars’ homes.

-Huh. -On a bus.

You know what happened?

No.

The bus stopped right in front of Gary Cooper‘s house.

-It did? -Yeah.

So they all got out

and went over to the front yard and looked.

And you know what they saw?

No.

Gary Cooper's newspaper.

Right there in the front yard.

-That right? »Yeah.

So they all looked at it for a while,

and then this woman that sat

right next to Gordon on the bus...

Yeah.

She went over and picked it up.

She did?

Yeah.

Then Gary Cooper's maid

come out of the front door

and walked over to where they was standing.

You know what she said?

What?

"Get off the grass."

Is that right?

Yeah.

Gordon heard her.

He was standing right there.

They all stopped and looked and turned

and she looked back at them.

Well, then what happened?

Oh, they all got back on the bus

and drove off and the maid went back in the house.

(whistling)

Gary Cooper‘s maid.

Hmm. Tours sure do sound fascinating,

Yeah, I got to get out there someday.

Yeah.

Maybe they‘ll have a sheriff's convention sometime

and we can go.

Yeah.

It'd be fun. wouldn't it?

Yeah.

Barney, again?

They sure don't make 'em

like this anymore, do they?

Sorry, Andy.

Might know the key would be all the way

in the other door.

ANDY: See if I can reach it.

BARNEY: Is that going to reach?

AN DY: It'll reach it the broom's long enough

and my arm’s long enough, yes.

Let me turn it over.

Be caretul.

Right. Let's see...

Now, let mejust lift it.

Be real careful.

I’m being as careful as I can.

Careful. That's it.

(sneezes)

Barney!

BARN EY: Sorry, Andy.

The dust got right in my nose.

ANDY: | see it did.

Oh, uh... howdy, Mr. Harmon.

Oh, hello, Sheriff. Hi.

BARNEY: Howdy,

This is marvelous.

Courthouse and the jail all in the same room.

It's convenient.

It's marvelous.

Well, uh... all set

to take that tour around town.

It's a nice day for it, I'll say that,

Beautiful day...

just beautiful,

Well, uh... are we all set to go?

Uh...

Mr. Harmon, would you do us a favor?

Why, of course.

Uh, you, uh...

you see that key right down there?

Uh-huh.

Uh...

Oh, you mean that you're...

Yeah.

Oh, for Pete's sake.

We had a little lock trouble.

Yeah, it's a good thing you come along,

l... I wonder ifyou wouldn't mention this

any more than you have to.

Oh, of course not.

Appreciate that.

I'd like for you to meet

my able deputy, Barney Fife.

-How are you, Barney? -How do you do?

This is Mr. Harmon, the movie producer.

I'm gonna take him

a little tour around town, Barney,

So you're a movie producer from Hollywood,

You know Gabby Hayes?

HARMON: Oh, sure, I know Gabby.

I'll be darned.

As a matter of fact

I saw Gabby just before I left Hollywood,

You did? What did he say?

Well, uh... I said, "Hiya, Gabby."

And he said, "HoWs the picture business?"

Is that what he said?

Oh, that Gabbys a funny duck, ain‘t he?

(laughing)

Well, we might as well

get started, Mr. Harmon.

Fine. Well, nice to have met you, Barney,

Oh, pleasure's all mine.

I'll see you, Barney.

All right.

"HoWs the picture business?"

Uh“, Mr. Harmon, uh...

Excuse me for being nosy,

but, uh, how come you keep looking

through your hands like that?

Oh, well, it gives me an idea of what the scene

might look like through the camera lens,

In other words,

my hands serve as a viewfinder.

on, I'll be dogged.

I've always had one, too,

and never did know it.

Well, ldeclare, I do believe

| see my Aunt Bee and my boy Opie coming,

and they look just as clear..,

Hi, Andy.

Howdy, Aunt Bee. Howdy, Opie.

Hi, Paw.

I'd like for you to meet Mr. Han'non, here.

How do you do?

Mr. Harmon's a Hollywood movie producer

coming right here to Mayberry to make a motion picture.

-Oh, how do you do? -Yeah.

Really?

A movie with cowboys and horses

and shootin' and killin'?

No, son, I'm afraid it's not that kind of movie.

You mean there's another kind?

Of course there is, Opie.

This picture...

is Rock Hudson going to be in it?

Well, no.

He's your favorite, ain't he, Aunt Bee?

Tell the truth,

old Rock kinda does it for you, don't he?

Oh, hush, Andy.

Hey, what would you do

if Mr, Harmon could work it out

to where you could actually meet Rock Hudson?

Oh, what do you think I'd do?

I'd faint.

(laughing)

It's a beautiful town, Aunt Bee.

-We like it. -J ust beautiful.

-Hey, Paw, —Hmm?

what's he doing?

Oh, he's trying to see

how Mayberry will look on the movie screen.

Scat! That ain't for children.

Maybe there's something I missed,

Huh?

Oh, you want to look through mine?

You met Floyd up in the Mayor‘s office,

Oh, yeah. Hi, Floyd.

How are you, sir?

Floyd's been barbering folks around here

since most of us was just young 'uns.

-Really? -Yeah.

You're the only barber in town, Floyd?

Oh, yes... (mumbles)

| always did want to be a barber.

Even when l was just a I'ttle tiny kid

| used to practice on cats.

Cats?

Yeah, I'd catch 'em in the alley,

-then I'd clip them. -Oh?

We had the baldest cats in the county.

(laughing)

That's a fact.

And folks still say

that Floyd ain't much with people,

but he‘s a great cat barber.

Oh, now, hold it.

(giggleS)

That's right.

And to this day, he'll forget hisself

and stroke you a few times

'fore he commences cutting.

(giggleS)

Are you wanting a haircut, Mr. Harmon?

Not today, thanks.

You don't have to tip him.

Just arch your back and purr at him.

0h. .

Well, maybe later.

It's been very good talking to you, Mr. Lawson.

Oh, thank you, now,

I'll see you, Floyd.

Yeah, all right, Andy.

Ahl This is Orville Monroe's place of business.

You met Orville upstairs, too.

Orville's also our TV repairman.

Folks claim he charges less to bury you

than he does to fix your set.

Yes? 0h.

I'm sorry to disappoint you, Orville.

We didn't bring you any business,

I hope we're not interrupting you.

Well, I do have a customer in the back room--

Mrs. Bartlett.

Ethy Bartlett?

I didn‘t know.

Yep. Her picture tube went on the blink.

You know how she is

when she misses her wrestling matches,

Uh, Mr. Monroe...

(car approaching)

Oh, good.

Here's them new TV antennas I ordered.

Well, here we are,

right back where we started~

the old oak tree.

You seen about all we got

to offer in Mayberry.

Well, it's very interesting,

Many/s the time

I've clumb up this old oak tree

when l was a young ‘un.

You figure on using it in the picture?

I should say so... the tree and the people.

You like the people, do you?

You wouldn't figure on poking fun?

Poking fun?

I should say not.

Why, they/re charming, natural.

They're very nice people.

I could never poke tun at them.

That's good, that’s good.

'Cause if you did, I don't imagine

Aunt Bee would come to see your picture,

even it you had Rock Hudson in it.

(both laughing)

Oh, howdy, Andy.

Floyd, what in the world‘s going on?

Every day for the past week another store‘s gone berserk.

Everybodys getting gussied up for the big movie.

Oh, I don't know it my fingers

are going to hold out or not after all these haircuts.

I've given more haircuts in this past week

than I done since I was in shop.

You want a trim, Andy?

Come on, Floyd, finish my Cary Grant.

BARNEY: I Custer and his men were surrounded J‘

J' The enemy had his horses grounded I

I Then he fought, fought, fought, yes, he I

-J‘ Fought, tought, fought J‘ -Bamejfl

I And he fought and he fought.., J‘

Barney, come out here.

I want to tell you something.

And I want to show you something,

Deputy Barney Fife reporting for inspection, sir.

Barney, what in the world have you got on?

Uniform of the day, sir!

Barney, at ease.

Vlfill you relax?

Oh, Barney, be serious,

Barney, I want you to tell me what you got on.

Where in the world did you get that thing?

The mayor sent it over.

Don't you like it?

He sent one over for you, too.

No, sir.

I'll not put one of them things on,

But, Andy, the mayor sent word

there‘s to be a special meeting oi the town council

and he expects you to show up in your new uniform,

No, sir.

Now, I don‘t mean to be cantankerous,

but I'll not put one of them things on,

and | wish you'd take yours off, too...

Smokey Bear.

(door shuts)

Sheriff, you're late.

I'm sorry, Mayor.

Well, that‘s all right.

Sit down, Andy, and I'll tell you

why we called this special meeting.

Now, this motion picture company

is going to be here tomorrow morning early.

Now, here's the reception they‘re going to get from us,

As soon as they arrive, the drum and bugle oorps

will give them a rousing welcome

and then our ladies, with their homemade pies,

they'll make their presentation,

and then Juanita will sing "Flow gently, Sweet Afton."

Your daughter's going to sing?

Anything wrong with that?

Oh, oh, nothing,

Juanita's got a lovely voice.

And then I'll make the welcoming address

and I'll tell them how proud we are

to have them in our fair city,

and that will lead up to the climax

of cutting down the old oak tree.

You're going to cut down the oak tree?!

That‘s right, we‘re cutting it down.

Well, what in the wortd for?!

You got no right to do such a thing.

We got a perfect right

it the majority of the council votes for it.

Now, all those in favor of the program we have planned...

Wait a minute, Mayor.

What in the world are y‘all doing?!

You‘ve changed yourselves, your stores, your clothes,

you've given Barney and me

ndiculous-looking uniforms to put on,

and now you goin' out down

the oldest oak tree in the entire town?!

Why, you've all gone out of your minds!

Andy, Andy. There‘s no time to dilly-daily.

Now, that motion picture company's

going to arrive here tomorrow morning early.

We want to have everything right, right?

-Right. —Right.

Now, let's get to the voting.

All those in favor, signify with the usual sign.

Opposed? -Mayor...

Ayes have it. Pipe down, Andy.

Aunt Bee?

Opie?

Anybody home?

AUNT BEE: Be down in a minute, Andy.

Home kind of early, ain‘t you?

I couldn't stay in town any longer.

Felt like a stranger.

I had to get back where things are normal

The way the citizens of this town are acting

you would not believe your eyes.

I'll tell you the tnrth, Aunt Bee,

it's a pleasure to be back in my own home

where nothing‘s changed,

(clearing throat)

Aunt Bee, when | tell you some of the th...

Aunt Bee, not you and Opie, too!

Paw, are you going to wear your new uniform tomorrow?

No, I am not.

He's not going down there looking like that, is he?

(loud clamoring)

Come on, everybody,

Hurry up now.

Hurry Up, everybody,

Come on, come on.

It‘s your big day. Now come on.

Come, all of you, up in here.

Hurry it up. Come on. A big day for everybody.

I sure wish you‘d have wore your new uniform,

You‘re a sight.

Serve you right if they don't put you

in this picture at all.

Barney, ltell you the tmth—

you're all making a big mistake.

Oh, let me give you a hand there, Mayor.

Pies... pies over here.

No, don't, don't!

No! No!

Pies over there.

Where is the band?

Get the boys over here.

Drum and bugle over here.

Drum and bugle over there

Get over there.

Good grief, it's over there!

No, no, no!

That's all right.

Now, where's my daughter? Where's my daughter?

Here.

Back there with the pies.

Now, sweetheart, when you sing,

give them your very best.

Mr. Mayor, here they come!

They're comin‘!

Drum and bugle, drum and bugle.

Come on, come on. Come with me.

Come on.

(band playing fanfare music)

Now, honey, now.

(off-key): J' Flow gently, sweet Afton J‘

J‘ Among thy green braes J‘

J' Flow gently J‘

I I'll sing thee J‘

J‘ A song in thy praise I

I My Mary's asleep I

I By the munnuring stream J‘

J' Flow gently, sweet Afton J‘

J' Disturb not her dream. J‘

-That was beautiful, baby. (applause)

That was fine.

Sit down now.

And now, Mr. Harmon, I want to tell you

that we figure it's a privilege

to have you in our fair city.

The welcome that you've just experienoed

is just a sample token

of how we feel about your big motion-picture-making company

coming here to make your movie in our town.

And, now, as a final gesture

of our cooperation,

we‘re about to remove

the last remaining unsightly landmark.

We‘re about to cut down that oak tree.

Okay, boys, cut her down.

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute, What are you doing?

Well, we're cutting down the tree

tor your picture.

Why?

Well, because it's full of tree gurglers

and it's an eye sore.

It‘s rig ht in the middle of the road.

It's in our way here, and besides,

we want everything nice for your picture.

Okay, boys.

No! Wait a minute.

I don't want this tree cut down.

You don't?

Of course not.

What's gotten into you people anyway?

Well, what do you mean?

What have you done to the town?

And to yourselves?

This isn't the Mayberry

that I wanted to photograph.

I could have built a set like this in Hollywood.

And look at all of you.

You mean, you‘re agin' us cutting down the Oak?

Of course I am.

This tree is part of the picture,

and so are all of you.

But the way you were when I first met you,

when I walked around the town with the sheriff.

The way you were

when you were natural, genuine, real—

that‘s what I wanted in my picture.

Well, you're still going to make your movie

in our town here, aren‘t you, Mr. Harmon?

Well, of course I am.

I‘d like to start shooting

as soon as the company gets here.

But would you mind getting the town back the way it was?

And get that saw away from that tree.

Get that saw away from that tree.

Get out of those tn'ck-or-treat outfits.

Now, get a-moving along, folks.

Let‘s go home and change

and kind of natural ourselves up a bit.

Now, let's get...

Go on now. Break it up. Break it up.

BARNEY: Break it up, everybody,

We tried to tell ‘em, didn’t we, Andy?

We sure did, Mayor.

You reckon it'd be all right

it I saved this just to wear on Decoration Day?

| lspect.

Aunt Bee...

I got to admit you do look right smart,

Really, Andy?

Yes, sir.

And you know something else?

| 'spect Rock Hudson

would like you just like that.

Oh... Andy.

Orville.

Howdy, gentlemen.

-Floyd. -Andy.

I'm telling you, boy...

Yes, sir, Opie, everything's back to normal in Mayberry.

(whistling sprightly tune)