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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,074 --> 00:00:09,573 Hey, come on. 2 00:00:09,576 --> 00:00:11,653 Yeah, come on. Yeah. Yeah. 3 00:00:11,655 --> 00:00:13,689 Gonna have to circle back to that. 4 00:00:16,424 --> 00:00:17,726 Come here, Pepper. 5 00:00:17,728 --> 00:00:18,894 Come eat your, uh... 6 00:00:20,765 --> 00:00:21,964 Fire! 7 00:00:21,966 --> 00:00:24,242 Wake up! Fire! 8 00:00:24,245 --> 00:00:25,467 Really? Nothing? 9 00:00:26,604 --> 00:00:28,820 "When Clowns Fall Down" is on TV! 10 00:00:28,823 --> 00:00:31,472 Oh, "Clowns" is on! Oh! There's a fire! 11 00:00:31,475 --> 00:00:34,076 Ray, DVR the clowns, and let's get out of here! 12 00:00:34,079 --> 00:00:35,577 Dylan, out! Dad, take this! 13 00:00:35,579 --> 00:00:37,613 - Ray? - Wow, what's gotten into him? 14 00:00:37,615 --> 00:00:38,981 I suppose you don't really know 15 00:00:38,983 --> 00:00:40,520 how you're gonna react to an emergency 16 00:00:40,523 --> 00:00:41,555 until you're in one. 17 00:00:41,558 --> 00:00:42,590 You know what I mean? 18 00:00:42,593 --> 00:00:45,220 I wonder how I'd react in an emergency. 19 00:00:45,222 --> 00:00:47,523 - This is one! Get out! - Yes, sir! 20 00:00:47,525 --> 00:00:49,412 Oh, I'm a follower. 21 00:00:49,415 --> 00:00:51,115 Now! 22 00:00:51,118 --> 00:00:55,129 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com -- 23 00:00:55,132 --> 00:00:58,534 Well, we found our culprit... These cheap, old lights. 24 00:00:58,536 --> 00:00:59,618 They're brand-new. 25 00:01:00,604 --> 00:01:03,272 To us. I don't know... 26 00:01:03,274 --> 00:01:06,071 when the raccoon I fought for them purchased them. 27 00:01:06,074 --> 00:01:08,043 Please don't judge us. Money's been really tight. 28 00:01:08,045 --> 00:01:09,411 We've had to buy our house, 29 00:01:09,413 --> 00:01:11,380 pay for hospital bills, so you know what? 30 00:01:11,382 --> 00:01:13,215 We could really do without the light-shaming. 31 00:01:13,217 --> 00:01:15,317 That's much longer than it usually takes her 32 00:01:15,319 --> 00:01:17,186 to go on the offensive. That's respect. 33 00:01:17,188 --> 00:01:19,810 Well, I'm sorry you lost all your presents. 34 00:01:19,813 --> 00:01:21,390 Don't worry. 35 00:01:21,392 --> 00:01:23,892 No, those are fake presents until we could afford real ones. 36 00:01:23,894 --> 00:01:27,062 They were just boxes full of newspaper and sawdust. 37 00:01:27,064 --> 00:01:28,730 Or, in your parlance, fuel. 38 00:01:28,732 --> 00:01:30,966 You don't talk to our insurance, do you? 39 00:01:30,968 --> 00:01:34,269 DiMeooooos! 40 00:01:34,271 --> 00:01:36,071 Oh, thank God. 41 00:01:36,073 --> 00:01:37,469 Were you out clubbing? 42 00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:39,341 And does that look really work for you? 43 00:01:39,343 --> 00:01:42,657 Hey, last week, I convinced three sturdy... 44 00:01:44,381 --> 00:01:45,414 Not the time. 45 00:01:47,141 --> 00:01:48,851 Mom, Dad, our presents. 46 00:01:48,853 --> 00:01:51,153 No child should have to bury her presents. 47 00:01:51,155 --> 00:01:53,589 Aww, don't worry, Dylan. I can... 48 00:01:53,591 --> 00:01:55,576 You can what?! What can you do, Kenneth? 49 00:01:55,579 --> 00:01:56,758 Please, tell me. 50 00:01:56,761 --> 00:01:58,941 You can bring back my presents? Is that what you do?! 51 00:01:59,930 --> 00:02:03,065 Look, I'm sorry. It's been a very hectic night. 52 00:02:03,067 --> 00:02:05,968 I was gonna say I can bring you my presents. 53 00:02:05,970 --> 00:02:07,269 I don't want to overhype, 54 00:02:07,271 --> 00:02:10,105 but I gave a pretty penny to the estate of Steve Jobs... 55 00:02:10,107 --> 00:02:11,440 Whoa! 56 00:02:11,442 --> 00:02:13,639 Okay, okay, all right. Well, I don't want to be a one-upper, 57 00:02:13,641 --> 00:02:16,111 but our presents were... one better. 58 00:02:17,848 --> 00:02:19,047 VR headsets for Ray 59 00:02:19,049 --> 00:02:22,117 and movie-editing software for JJ, 60 00:02:22,119 --> 00:02:24,019 and a My Little Pony... 61 00:02:24,021 --> 00:02:25,537 for Jimmy. 62 00:02:25,540 --> 00:02:27,389 And a... 63 00:02:27,391 --> 00:02:29,491 dirt bike for Dylan! 64 00:02:29,493 --> 00:02:32,828 Wow, Mom. They're gone, but you sure take care of us. 65 00:02:32,830 --> 00:02:35,831 I know I do, I do, I do, I do, I do. 66 00:02:35,833 --> 00:02:38,133 Say, Maya, d-did you happen to get me 67 00:02:38,135 --> 00:02:39,201 that book I wanted 68 00:02:39,203 --> 00:02:41,503 called "This is Questionable Behavior"? 69 00:02:41,505 --> 00:02:45,073 I didn't, but I did get one called "A Victimless Crime." 70 00:02:45,075 --> 00:02:47,743 Is it by the same guy who wrote "But To What End"? 71 00:02:47,745 --> 00:02:49,811 No, it's by the woman who wrote 72 00:02:49,813 --> 00:02:52,147 "What They Don't Know, Won't Hurt Them." 73 00:02:52,149 --> 00:02:53,682 Wow, I read a lot of books, 74 00:02:53,684 --> 00:02:55,092 but I've never heard of any of these. 75 00:02:55,094 --> 00:02:56,427 Yeah, I know 'em. 76 00:02:57,120 --> 00:03:01,522 Excuse me, I was told you're the hero who saved the family. 77 00:03:01,525 --> 00:03:03,158 Oh, uh... 78 00:03:03,160 --> 00:03:05,294 Wow, I-I guess I am a hero. 79 00:03:05,296 --> 00:03:08,130 Uh, I mean, I've been heroic a few other times, 80 00:03:08,132 --> 00:03:09,364 but only in dreams. 81 00:03:09,366 --> 00:03:10,899 One time, I stopped a group of guys 82 00:03:10,901 --> 00:03:12,801 from robbing a bank full of girls I like. 83 00:03:12,803 --> 00:03:14,269 "Exhausting." 84 00:03:14,271 --> 00:03:15,537 I know. 85 00:03:15,539 --> 00:03:17,406 Eh, still gotta do my walk-behind. 86 00:03:17,408 --> 00:03:19,074 I just got up 'cause I heard the dog bark. 87 00:03:19,076 --> 00:03:21,643 But I suppose if a boy wakes up his family 88 00:03:21,645 --> 00:03:23,912 and gets everybody out safely, he's a hero. 89 00:03:23,914 --> 00:03:25,141 Baba-booey! 90 00:03:25,144 --> 00:03:26,247 Go, Sox! 91 00:03:26,250 --> 00:03:27,388 I'm sorry about her. 92 00:03:31,188 --> 00:03:32,588 What is this? 93 00:03:32,590 --> 00:03:34,823 A-A surprise for me? 94 00:03:34,825 --> 00:03:37,459 "Merry Christmas to my Big Buddy." 95 00:03:37,461 --> 00:03:38,894 Isn't this exciting? 96 00:03:38,896 --> 00:03:41,830 JJ told me you want to coach, and we have an opening. 97 00:03:41,832 --> 00:03:44,466 Coach Cox took a leave of absence for some... 98 00:03:44,468 --> 00:03:45,667 troubling reasons... 99 00:03:45,669 --> 00:03:46,535 Oh. 100 00:03:46,537 --> 00:03:47,803 Writing a novel. 101 00:03:47,805 --> 00:03:49,338 Oh, okay. 102 00:03:49,340 --> 00:03:51,039 I can't believe I'm gonna coach! 103 00:03:52,402 --> 00:03:54,843 Your girls' basketball team. 104 00:03:54,845 --> 00:03:56,078 Hard pass! 105 00:03:56,080 --> 00:03:57,512 Oh, you heard him, girls! 106 00:03:57,514 --> 00:03:59,047 Harder passes! 107 00:03:59,049 --> 00:04:00,315 Ow! 108 00:04:00,317 --> 00:04:04,519 No, I'm passing. I can't coach girls' basketball. 109 00:04:04,521 --> 00:04:06,888 What's wrong? You're not sexist...? 110 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:11,226 Yup. 111 00:04:11,228 --> 00:04:13,219 I'm a sexist. 112 00:04:13,222 --> 00:04:14,863 I'm a big, ol' sexist. 113 00:04:14,865 --> 00:04:16,965 And there will be no more talk of this. 114 00:04:16,967 --> 00:04:19,329 The man has s-spoken. 115 00:04:21,604 --> 00:04:24,008 Okay, fine, I'm no sexist. 116 00:04:24,011 --> 00:04:26,341 I just have a very complicated relationship 117 00:04:26,343 --> 00:04:28,076 with girls' basketball. 118 00:04:28,078 --> 00:04:29,368 Okay, dude. 119 00:04:29,371 --> 00:04:33,882 Watch what happens when I Google "Kenneth Clements basketball." 120 00:04:33,884 --> 00:04:35,784 Yeah, did you mean "Kendall Clements"? 121 00:04:35,786 --> 00:04:36,938 That's my sister. 122 00:04:36,941 --> 00:04:39,820 I was good at basketball, but she was great. 123 00:04:39,823 --> 00:04:41,923 And she and my other sister, Kiki, 124 00:04:41,925 --> 00:04:44,084 just loved rubbing my nose in it. 125 00:04:44,087 --> 00:04:46,428 If I scored 20, Kendall would score 40. 126 00:04:46,430 --> 00:04:47,963 If I scored 50... 127 00:04:47,965 --> 00:04:50,165 Okay, I never scored 50. What's that look? 128 00:04:50,167 --> 00:04:52,901 Are you a long-lost third witch sister I don't know about?! 129 00:04:55,839 --> 00:04:58,340 I wanna coach, but girls' basketball, 130 00:04:58,342 --> 00:05:00,676 that's Kendall's world. 131 00:05:00,678 --> 00:05:02,678 I just can't go there. 132 00:05:05,582 --> 00:05:07,673 Okay, I think our story's coming up. 133 00:05:07,676 --> 00:05:09,351 This is going to be huge for me. 134 00:05:09,353 --> 00:05:12,688 Thanks, Grant. Sounds like those elephants had a Hanukkah 135 00:05:12,690 --> 00:05:14,157 they'll never forget. 136 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:15,891 And now, a story about a family 137 00:05:15,893 --> 00:05:20,629 that narrowly avoided having a nightmare before Christmas. 138 00:05:20,631 --> 00:05:22,364 Picture a hero. In your mind, 139 00:05:22,366 --> 00:05:24,433 he's probably not a little guy, is he? 140 00:05:24,435 --> 00:05:28,136 And he probably doesn't have wild, unkempt hair 141 00:05:28,138 --> 00:05:29,971 or drink out of the toilet. 142 00:05:29,973 --> 00:05:31,139 What? One time! 143 00:05:31,141 --> 00:05:33,342 Dylan put ghost pepper in my toothpaste. 144 00:05:33,344 --> 00:05:36,878 But last night, the DiMeo family spelled "hero" 145 00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:38,313 "D-O-G." 146 00:05:38,315 --> 00:05:40,282 Dog hero? What a fun angle. 147 00:05:40,284 --> 00:05:41,478 Is the news always this good? 148 00:05:41,481 --> 00:05:42,880 But that's not what happened. 149 00:05:42,883 --> 00:05:44,119 Don't believe me? 150 00:05:44,121 --> 00:05:47,889 Listen to what this boy had to say about little Pepper. 151 00:05:47,891 --> 00:05:49,157 He's a hero. 152 00:05:49,159 --> 00:05:50,692 Dolph?! 153 00:05:54,379 --> 00:05:55,931 No, I am a hero! 154 00:05:55,933 --> 00:05:57,146 I saved you guys! 155 00:05:57,149 --> 00:05:59,468 Ray, it doesn't matter. 156 00:05:59,470 --> 00:06:02,170 Seriously, look, who cares what they say about... 157 00:06:02,172 --> 00:06:03,572 Shut up, I'm on TV! 158 00:06:03,574 --> 00:06:05,821 It stinks because our parents worked so hard 159 00:06:05,824 --> 00:06:07,242 to get us all these great presents 160 00:06:07,244 --> 00:06:08,610 even though money's been tight. 161 00:06:08,612 --> 00:06:10,594 VR headsets, dirt bikes, 162 00:06:10,597 --> 00:06:12,981 my brother's "Harry Potter" fan fiction in hardback, 163 00:06:12,983 --> 00:06:14,549 one of those robot vacuums. 164 00:06:14,551 --> 00:06:16,918 Hey, my lie is famous. 165 00:06:20,758 --> 00:06:23,158 Hey, Dolph, you missed a spot. 166 00:06:23,160 --> 00:06:25,594 Okay, Dylan. You can mock me all you want, 167 00:06:25,596 --> 00:06:28,230 but I've decided not to let Pepper getting all the credit bug me. 168 00:06:28,232 --> 00:06:30,232 I'm not gonna get jealous of a dog. 169 00:06:30,234 --> 00:06:31,833 I have to rise above it. 170 00:06:31,835 --> 00:06:33,902 It's either that or I let it drive me insane. 171 00:06:33,904 --> 00:06:36,938 Ooh, that sounds more fun. Let's do that. 172 00:06:38,409 --> 00:06:40,075 Yay! Pizza's here! 173 00:06:41,378 --> 00:06:43,912 Mrs. DiMeo? Hi, I'm Candy Kensington. 174 00:06:43,914 --> 00:06:45,313 I'm from the Newport Beach chapter 175 00:06:45,315 --> 00:06:47,349 of the charity Santa's Purpose. 176 00:06:47,351 --> 00:06:48,884 We're doing our Jinglethon fundraiser 177 00:06:48,886 --> 00:06:50,152 at Lafayette this week. 178 00:06:50,154 --> 00:06:52,854 Why not "Santa's Cause"? 179 00:06:52,856 --> 00:06:55,023 Oh, wow, yeah, um... 180 00:06:55,025 --> 00:06:56,282 That's much snappier. 181 00:06:57,294 --> 00:06:59,094 Anyhoo, um, may I? 182 00:06:59,096 --> 00:07:01,463 So, part of our mission is, uh, 183 00:07:01,465 --> 00:07:04,633 bringing the joy of Christmas to less fortunate families. 184 00:07:04,635 --> 00:07:06,435 Oh, no, no, we're not in need of charity. 185 00:07:06,437 --> 00:07:07,881 - We thought you were food! - I'm starving! 186 00:07:07,883 --> 00:07:09,438 Oh, shush! 187 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:11,373 Well, we heard your family's story, 188 00:07:11,375 --> 00:07:12,674 and we were just heartbroken. 189 00:07:12,676 --> 00:07:15,811 So we've decided to replace all of your gifts! 190 00:07:15,813 --> 00:07:17,078 - What? - No way! Okay, bring them in! 191 00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:18,547 Whoa! 192 00:07:18,549 --> 00:07:20,449 - Is that a dirt bike? - Right over there. 193 00:07:20,451 --> 00:07:24,337 Oh, my gosh, VR goggles! This is the best Christmas ever! 194 00:07:24,340 --> 00:07:26,235 Mom! Can I ride this in the house? 195 00:07:26,238 --> 00:07:27,222 Uhh... 196 00:07:27,224 --> 00:07:28,356 Ooh! 197 00:07:28,358 --> 00:07:31,026 Oh, my God, Jimmy. What have I done? 198 00:07:31,028 --> 00:07:33,962 You defrauded a charity at Christmas. 199 00:07:33,964 --> 00:07:35,501 Well... 200 00:07:35,504 --> 00:07:37,415 anything can sound bad if you say it. 201 00:07:39,515 --> 00:07:43,295 - Whooo! - Whoa! 202 00:07:43,298 --> 00:07:44,622 Okay, yeah! 203 00:07:44,625 --> 00:07:45,590 Bad bird! 204 00:07:45,592 --> 00:07:47,592 - Oh, look out for that panther! - Ah! 205 00:07:47,594 --> 00:07:50,412 Ohh, Jimmy, I feel so awful. 206 00:07:50,415 --> 00:07:51,630 Why did I lie? 207 00:07:51,632 --> 00:07:53,550 We've got to give these gifts back. 208 00:07:53,553 --> 00:07:54,966 Oh, do we? 209 00:07:54,968 --> 00:07:56,101 Think of the kids. 210 00:07:56,103 --> 00:07:57,202 Darling, no matter what, 211 00:07:57,204 --> 00:07:59,471 the kids cannot find out what happened. 212 00:07:59,473 --> 00:08:00,772 You lied to us? 213 00:08:01,907 --> 00:08:03,574 We're losing our presents? 214 00:08:04,645 --> 00:08:06,545 You know... 215 00:08:06,547 --> 00:08:08,881 you should really try these while we still have them. 216 00:08:10,216 --> 00:08:12,616 JJ, I'm all for surprises, 217 00:08:12,619 --> 00:08:15,087 but if I'm blindfolded, it's hard for us to talk. 218 00:08:15,089 --> 00:08:17,456 It's no problem, man. I can talk for him. 219 00:08:17,458 --> 00:08:19,057 Anything to get those five stars. 220 00:08:19,059 --> 00:08:19,958 What do you want me to read, baby? 221 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:20,992 No, man! 222 00:08:20,994 --> 00:08:22,260 Watch the road! 223 00:08:22,262 --> 00:08:23,373 Can we just sit in silence? 224 00:08:23,376 --> 00:08:24,796 Whatever you say, boss, all right? 225 00:08:24,798 --> 00:08:26,498 Anything to get those five stars, baby. 226 00:08:27,397 --> 00:08:28,734 We are here. 227 00:08:30,404 --> 00:08:32,558 It's The Cheesecake Factory, isn't it? 228 00:08:32,561 --> 00:08:35,107 Oh, you know how I love cheesecake. 229 00:08:35,109 --> 00:08:37,075 Hi, Kenneth! 230 00:08:37,077 --> 00:08:38,412 Wha... 231 00:08:38,415 --> 00:08:41,446 This Cheesecake Factory sounds a lot like my terrible sisters! 232 00:08:41,448 --> 00:08:43,170 Yo, DiMeo. Is it true? 233 00:08:43,173 --> 00:08:45,150 Did your dog carry JJ to safety with his teeth? 234 00:08:45,152 --> 00:08:46,365 No, of course... 235 00:08:47,388 --> 00:08:48,795 You know what? 236 00:08:48,798 --> 00:08:50,122 Yes. Yes, he did. 237 00:08:50,124 --> 00:08:51,556 Pepper is a great dog. 238 00:08:51,558 --> 00:08:53,759 My family is safe. That's what's important. 239 00:08:53,761 --> 00:08:56,061 Hey, Blake, what would you do 240 00:08:56,063 --> 00:08:58,997 if I told you the real hero is actually here... 241 00:08:58,999 --> 00:09:01,266 ...right now? 242 00:09:01,268 --> 00:09:02,381 Come here, Pepper! 243 00:09:03,971 --> 00:09:05,370 Oh, my gosh! 244 00:09:09,309 --> 00:09:11,977 It is so nice to meet you, JJ. 245 00:09:11,979 --> 00:09:13,269 And, Kenneth, you looking good. 246 00:09:13,272 --> 00:09:15,847 What did you do, fall in the Fountain of Youth? 247 00:09:15,849 --> 00:09:17,886 Oh, you're so sweet, Kiki. 248 00:09:17,889 --> 00:09:20,218 Anybody want cookies? Fresh from the oven. 249 00:09:20,220 --> 00:09:23,021 Sure. Sounds great! 250 00:09:23,023 --> 00:09:25,257 I hope you get stuck in the oven. 251 00:09:25,259 --> 00:09:26,553 What are we doing here? 252 00:09:26,556 --> 00:09:29,961 "Make your peace with them so you can coach like you want. 253 00:09:29,963 --> 00:09:31,997 They seem lovely." 254 00:09:31,999 --> 00:09:33,698 Oh, lovely, huh? 255 00:09:33,700 --> 00:09:35,133 Watch. 256 00:09:35,135 --> 00:09:37,969 Ladies, I have some exciting news. 257 00:09:37,971 --> 00:09:40,839 I was offered the, uh, job 258 00:09:40,841 --> 00:09:43,775 of girls' basketball coach. 259 00:09:50,551 --> 00:09:51,683 Basketball? 260 00:09:51,685 --> 00:09:54,319 You don't even know anything about basketball! 261 00:09:54,321 --> 00:09:57,722 I played at a high level in high school and college! 262 00:09:57,724 --> 00:10:00,158 All right, Broken Stereo. 263 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:02,027 "Why do they call you 'Broken St... '" 264 00:10:02,029 --> 00:10:04,331 Dude, don't set them up like that, man! 265 00:10:04,334 --> 00:10:07,186 Because he can't play. 266 00:10:07,189 --> 00:10:10,268 Because he sucks at basketball! 267 00:10:10,270 --> 00:10:12,704 Kendall, I-I said "broken" 268 00:10:12,706 --> 00:10:15,123 because when the radio don't play, he can't... 269 00:10:15,126 --> 00:10:16,334 Y-You don't get it? 270 00:10:16,337 --> 00:10:17,742 You know what? Never mind. He sucks! 271 00:10:17,744 --> 00:10:18,894 - High five, up top! - Yeah! 272 00:10:18,897 --> 00:10:20,764 You see, JJ? 273 00:10:46,773 --> 00:10:49,708 Hello, darlings. Did you have a wonderful day? 274 00:10:49,710 --> 00:10:51,676 Great, sad it's done. 275 00:10:52,646 --> 00:10:54,746 Well, do I have good news for you. 276 00:10:54,748 --> 00:10:56,615 We're volunteering at the Jinglethon. 277 00:10:56,617 --> 00:10:57,716 What? Why? 278 00:10:57,718 --> 00:10:59,117 Do you want to give the presents back? 279 00:10:59,119 --> 00:11:02,153 You keep the presents' name out of your filthy mouth! 280 00:11:02,155 --> 00:11:05,891 Well, we can't pay for them, so we're donating our time. 281 00:11:05,893 --> 00:11:09,361 After all, time is money, except we have it. 282 00:11:09,363 --> 00:11:10,959 Kenneth the coach. 283 00:11:10,962 --> 00:11:13,665 What you gonna teach them how to do, Kenneth? Lose? 284 00:11:13,667 --> 00:11:16,355 Yeah, like, how to get beat? 285 00:11:16,358 --> 00:11:18,870 Kendall, it's the same thing! 286 00:11:18,872 --> 00:11:20,238 They're synonyms! 287 00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:21,973 I didn't even want to come here. 288 00:11:21,975 --> 00:11:23,608 Is there nothing else we can talk about? 289 00:11:23,610 --> 00:11:25,510 Actually, um... 290 00:11:25,512 --> 00:11:30,916 Yeah, there is something I need to tell you. 291 00:11:30,918 --> 00:11:32,651 I went to the doctor last week... 292 00:11:32,653 --> 00:11:33,485 Yeah? 293 00:11:33,487 --> 00:11:35,872 He saw something on my X-ray, 294 00:11:35,875 --> 00:11:38,576 and it was bad. It was really bad. 295 00:11:38,579 --> 00:11:39,639 What was it? 296 00:11:40,694 --> 00:11:43,428 Your jumpshot, sucka! 297 00:11:47,234 --> 00:11:50,635 I'm-live for a long time, you Good Halloween House. 298 00:11:50,637 --> 00:11:51,903 "Why do you call him 'Good'..." 299 00:11:51,905 --> 00:11:53,605 What did I say about teeing them up? 300 00:11:53,607 --> 00:11:56,641 'Cause he got big ol' butterfingers! 301 00:11:56,643 --> 00:11:58,643 You don't even play, Kiki! 302 00:11:58,645 --> 00:12:00,045 Kendall's the good one! 303 00:12:00,047 --> 00:12:01,146 Stop dancing! 304 00:12:01,148 --> 00:12:03,715 And I'm not bad at basketball. 305 00:12:03,717 --> 00:12:05,083 Rejected! 306 00:12:05,085 --> 00:12:06,418 In your face! 307 00:12:06,420 --> 00:12:08,587 That's it! We're settling this on the court. 308 00:12:08,589 --> 00:12:11,022 If I win, you two shut up forever. 309 00:12:11,024 --> 00:12:13,979 If you score once, we'll shut up. 310 00:12:13,982 --> 00:12:15,237 Deal. 311 00:12:15,319 --> 00:12:17,162 Deal. 312 00:12:17,164 --> 00:12:19,798 Deal, British Airways. 313 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:21,201 "Why do they call..." 314 00:12:21,204 --> 00:12:22,795 Dude, stop! 315 00:12:25,445 --> 00:12:28,885 Right, we are here for one reason only... 316 00:12:28,888 --> 00:12:30,955 To work off the presents we took. 317 00:12:30,957 --> 00:12:33,124 Right? We will not take anything. 318 00:12:34,157 --> 00:12:35,223 I brought that. 319 00:12:35,226 --> 00:12:38,527 - Hey! Welcome, DiMeos. - Hello, Candy. 320 00:12:38,530 --> 00:12:40,864 We could use plenty of help here in the donation center, 321 00:12:40,867 --> 00:12:44,268 but I do have a solo task for one of you. 322 00:12:44,270 --> 00:12:45,603 Although I wish it could be you. 323 00:12:45,605 --> 00:12:47,268 Isn't that right, you little life saver? 324 00:12:47,271 --> 00:12:48,606 I'll do it. 325 00:12:48,608 --> 00:12:50,474 Perfect. 326 00:12:50,476 --> 00:12:52,777 Ooh, I'm gonna get you a bell. 327 00:12:56,349 --> 00:12:58,045 I just got a $500 donation! 328 00:12:58,048 --> 00:12:59,583 Score one good deed for the DiMeos! 329 00:12:59,585 --> 00:13:00,748 $500? 330 00:13:00,751 --> 00:13:02,286 That means we've reached this hour's goal. 331 00:13:02,288 --> 00:13:03,768 Hey, listen up, everybody. 332 00:13:03,771 --> 00:13:06,524 Maya wins the hourly incentive. 333 00:13:06,526 --> 00:13:10,895 Two box seats to the Ducks game, valued at $600. 334 00:13:12,832 --> 00:13:14,701 You've gotta be kidding me... 335 00:13:14,704 --> 00:13:15,943 You're right. 336 00:13:15,946 --> 00:13:18,269 Bring the whole family... Five box seats! Yay! 337 00:13:20,106 --> 00:13:22,640 Good job. 338 00:13:31,084 --> 00:13:33,451 Yeah! 339 00:13:33,453 --> 00:13:34,719 How's my butt taste? 340 00:13:34,721 --> 00:13:36,053 I don't know, Kiki! 341 00:13:36,055 --> 00:13:37,688 It's her butt I'm tasting, okay? 342 00:13:49,235 --> 00:13:51,302 Did anyone taste my butt? 343 00:13:52,739 --> 00:13:55,940 - How do you like your new Santa? - He's great! 344 00:13:55,942 --> 00:13:57,441 You and I don't have any beef. 345 00:13:57,443 --> 00:13:58,442 Just Dylan. 346 00:13:58,444 --> 00:13:59,877 Yeah, it was Dylan messing with me, 347 00:13:59,879 --> 00:14:01,112 and I'm not crazy. 348 00:14:01,114 --> 00:14:03,114 I don't have a feud with a dog. 349 00:14:04,117 --> 00:14:05,850 Good talk. 350 00:14:09,970 --> 00:14:11,122 Hey, no! 351 00:14:11,124 --> 00:14:12,423 Those could have chocolate. 352 00:14:12,425 --> 00:14:14,625 Wah! 353 00:14:20,266 --> 00:14:22,166 Ray, did you eat that whole cake? 354 00:14:22,168 --> 00:14:23,901 That was for all the volunteers. 355 00:14:23,903 --> 00:14:25,669 No, it was the dog. 356 00:14:26,973 --> 00:14:29,040 Pepper? Did you set me up? 357 00:14:29,042 --> 00:14:30,841 Are you blaming the hero dog? 358 00:14:30,843 --> 00:14:32,009 It was him! 359 00:14:32,011 --> 00:14:34,178 And I saved the family, not Pepper! 360 00:14:34,180 --> 00:14:36,414 He was probably barking at a squirrel or something 361 00:14:36,416 --> 00:14:37,882 'cause he's just a dumb dog! 362 00:14:39,018 --> 00:14:41,886 That Dolph kid hates the hero dog! 363 00:14:47,497 --> 00:14:50,098 Good news, I've raised thousands of dollars for these people. 364 00:14:50,101 --> 00:14:51,328 You know, our debt is paid. 365 00:14:51,330 --> 00:14:53,182 We can now go home, put on our goggles, 366 00:14:53,185 --> 00:14:54,832 and kill some giraffes! 367 00:14:54,834 --> 00:14:57,310 We're supposed to be setting them free. 368 00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:58,451 Oh. 369 00:15:00,046 --> 00:15:02,980 Mrs. DiMeo, before you go, just one more thing. 370 00:15:04,109 --> 00:15:06,242 Jinglethoners, television audience, 371 00:15:06,245 --> 00:15:09,013 we all know about the DiMeo family tragedy, 372 00:15:09,015 --> 00:15:10,448 yet they persevered, 373 00:15:10,450 --> 00:15:13,084 and they all showed up to volunteer today. 374 00:15:13,086 --> 00:15:15,152 So, as a thank-you, 375 00:15:15,154 --> 00:15:18,856 we are going to give the DiMeos all of today's proceeds! 376 00:15:23,329 --> 00:15:25,896 No, no! Please, stop giving us things. 377 00:15:25,898 --> 00:15:28,076 You don't get it! We're liars! 378 00:15:28,079 --> 00:15:29,800 The presents that burned under our tree 379 00:15:29,802 --> 00:15:31,362 were collectively worth $7. 380 00:15:31,365 --> 00:15:33,404 Don't judge her. 381 00:15:33,406 --> 00:15:35,673 The stuff showed up, and, yeah, we kept it! 382 00:15:35,675 --> 00:15:37,865 Would you have done anything different? 383 00:15:37,868 --> 00:15:39,693 Well, somebody call Heaven. 384 00:15:39,696 --> 00:15:42,113 We just found a bunch of new Christmas angels. 385 00:15:42,115 --> 00:15:44,154 Yeah. 386 00:15:44,157 --> 00:15:46,683 Oh, yeah, go on, then. Waa-waa-waa. 387 00:15:46,686 --> 00:15:48,419 We don't care. Go on. Boo all you want. 388 00:15:50,623 --> 00:15:52,022 That's actually quite hurtful. 389 00:15:52,024 --> 00:15:54,654 Out, out, out. Out through the grotto. Out. 390 00:15:57,568 --> 00:15:58,600 Wait, where's the dog? 391 00:15:58,603 --> 00:15:59,968 Oh, I left him with this old couple. 392 00:15:59,970 --> 00:16:01,389 They said they'd drop him home later. 393 00:16:01,391 --> 00:16:02,703 Oh, he's back there somewhere. 394 00:16:02,705 --> 00:16:04,371 I'm sorry, I can't stop lying! 395 00:16:04,373 --> 00:16:05,420 Weirdos! 396 00:16:06,909 --> 00:16:08,642 You've seen a choir before. 397 00:16:08,644 --> 00:16:09,843 Let's go! 398 00:16:09,845 --> 00:16:11,745 JJ, what are you doing here? 399 00:16:11,747 --> 00:16:14,018 "Kenneth needs elec-tro-lytes." 400 00:16:14,021 --> 00:16:15,453 Well, I've got no questions. 401 00:16:15,967 --> 00:16:17,498 Quick, come on, come on, come on. 402 00:16:18,854 --> 00:16:22,055 Look, we're hiding from a mob of Santa-loving DiMeo haters, 403 00:16:22,057 --> 00:16:23,957 and I'm sorry I got us into this stupid mess. 404 00:16:23,959 --> 00:16:26,226 I just saw the chance to give you everything you've always wanted, 405 00:16:26,228 --> 00:16:28,287 and then I couldn't say no. 406 00:16:28,290 --> 00:16:30,432 - ♪ Silent night ♪ - "That's ridiculous, Mom. 407 00:16:30,435 --> 00:16:33,700 Sure, we're hiding like hunted criminals, 408 00:16:33,702 --> 00:16:35,702 - ♪ Holy night ♪ - but we have each other. 409 00:16:35,704 --> 00:16:37,451 That's what matters." 410 00:16:37,454 --> 00:16:38,739 - ♪ All is calm ♪ - RAY: JJ's right. 411 00:16:38,741 --> 00:16:40,073 This Christmas more than ever. 412 00:16:40,075 --> 00:16:41,708 Our house could've burned down. 413 00:16:41,710 --> 00:16:43,276 - ♪ All is bright ♪ - We could've died! 414 00:16:43,278 --> 00:16:45,445 And Ray saved us. 415 00:16:45,447 --> 00:16:47,581 I know, but you guys are being sweet, 416 00:16:47,583 --> 00:16:49,745 and songs about America always get me. 417 00:16:49,747 --> 00:16:50,874 - ♪ Round yon Virgin ♪ - It's "Silent Night." 418 00:16:50,876 --> 00:16:52,686 - ♪ Mother and Child ♪ - It wouldn't kill us expose her to church. 419 00:16:52,688 --> 00:16:54,688 - No. - That's why I'm torturing you. 420 00:16:54,690 --> 00:16:56,189 I couldn't handle that it was you, 421 00:16:56,191 --> 00:16:57,791 but you did save us. 422 00:16:57,793 --> 00:16:59,159 You're a hero, Ray. 423 00:16:59,161 --> 00:17:02,651 Wow. I honestly don't care what anyone thinks now. 424 00:17:02,654 --> 00:17:04,357 ♪ Sleep in heavenly peace ♪ 425 00:17:04,360 --> 00:17:06,566 All right, Kenneth needs his electrolytes. 426 00:17:07,670 --> 00:17:09,670 The coast is clear. 427 00:17:09,672 --> 00:17:12,239 Pepper, you found them. 428 00:17:13,154 --> 00:17:14,307 Traitor. 429 00:17:17,780 --> 00:17:19,568 "Get up." Why? 430 00:17:19,571 --> 00:17:21,839 Kendall's just gonna knock me back on my butt. 431 00:17:23,052 --> 00:17:25,886 "Think of all the times I tried something 432 00:17:25,888 --> 00:17:29,322 and I failed first and wanted to quit, 433 00:17:29,324 --> 00:17:32,059 but you made me keep going." 434 00:17:32,061 --> 00:17:34,027 Yeah, well, I'm not like you. 435 00:17:34,029 --> 00:17:35,295 I hate failure. 436 00:17:37,066 --> 00:17:40,167 "You worry about me next year. 437 00:17:40,176 --> 00:17:43,177 I worry about you. 438 00:17:45,541 --> 00:17:49,509 I want you to have something when I'm gone." 439 00:17:50,713 --> 00:17:52,334 And you think coaching is it? 440 00:17:53,816 --> 00:17:55,015 Me, too. 441 00:17:55,017 --> 00:17:56,149 I can do this. 442 00:17:56,151 --> 00:17:57,551 It's only 50 to zero. 443 00:17:57,553 --> 00:17:58,752 51. 444 00:17:58,754 --> 00:18:01,529 In no universe was that a 3, Kendall! 445 00:18:01,532 --> 00:18:03,294 Ms. Kensington, we're very sorry. 446 00:18:03,297 --> 00:18:04,329 Well, you should be. 447 00:18:04,332 --> 00:18:05,565 But, thanks to your family, 448 00:18:05,568 --> 00:18:07,761 donations are pouring in like never before. Look at that. 449 00:18:07,763 --> 00:18:09,651 $100 from Christmas Carly... 450 00:18:09,654 --> 00:18:12,132 "Hope this helps after you got scammed by those monsters." 451 00:18:12,134 --> 00:18:13,174 Oh, that's us. 452 00:18:13,177 --> 00:18:15,143 $200 from DanTheMan45... 453 00:18:15,146 --> 00:18:18,171 "Save X-Mas! Can't let the DiMeos win!" Aww. 454 00:18:18,173 --> 00:18:19,706 "Get well soon, Beth"? 455 00:18:19,708 --> 00:18:22,209 Oh, I think that might've been a medical GoFundMe. 456 00:18:22,211 --> 00:18:23,610 - Oh. - Anyhoo, you know, 457 00:18:23,612 --> 00:18:25,932 I always wanted people to give out of love, 458 00:18:25,935 --> 00:18:28,276 but it turns out, disgust works even better. 459 00:18:28,279 --> 00:18:30,617 So, in a weird way, we did a good thing. 460 00:18:30,620 --> 00:18:33,299 Even though everyone thinks that we're awful. 461 00:18:33,302 --> 00:18:35,088 Who cares what everyone thinks? 462 00:18:35,090 --> 00:18:36,590 I know I don't anymore. 463 00:18:36,592 --> 00:18:39,960 Hold on. What if we could do even more good 464 00:18:39,962 --> 00:18:42,562 by seeming even more bad? 465 00:18:42,564 --> 00:18:44,931 All right, here we go. 466 00:18:44,933 --> 00:18:46,299 Boom, baby! 467 00:18:47,302 --> 00:18:49,069 Oh, Canada. 468 00:18:50,472 --> 00:18:52,404 I don't know! 469 00:18:52,407 --> 00:18:55,096 I'm out of material. You've usually given up by now. 470 00:18:56,751 --> 00:18:58,378 Girls, what are you doing here? 471 00:18:58,380 --> 00:19:00,146 It's 4:00. Time for practice. 472 00:19:00,148 --> 00:19:01,648 Oh, it's 4:00? 473 00:19:01,650 --> 00:19:02,924 I've been losing for two hours? 474 00:19:03,938 --> 00:19:06,852 You've been playing for two hours without scoring a point? 475 00:19:06,855 --> 00:19:09,656 That's amazing! How do you not quit? 476 00:19:09,658 --> 00:19:13,260 Yeah, I mean, I can relate to the failure, but not the persistence. 477 00:19:13,262 --> 00:19:15,849 Well, girls, failure is part of the process. 478 00:19:15,852 --> 00:19:18,164 But this is worth it, so I'm not gonna give up. 479 00:19:19,101 --> 00:19:21,034 I knew we should've played to 20, Kendall. 480 00:19:21,036 --> 00:19:23,357 "We"? Y-you don't do anything, Kiki! 481 00:19:23,360 --> 00:19:24,571 Oh, so we just gonna act like 482 00:19:24,573 --> 00:19:26,306 I don't work part-time at a law firm? 483 00:19:37,219 --> 00:19:38,985 What? That's right! 484 00:19:38,987 --> 00:19:40,365 Yes! 485 00:19:40,368 --> 00:19:43,315 Whose house? Good Halloween House's house! 486 00:19:43,318 --> 00:19:45,759 Girls, consider that your first practice. 487 00:19:45,761 --> 00:19:47,127 Pick this up again tomorrow? 488 00:19:47,129 --> 00:19:48,612 - Yes. - Thank you, coach. 489 00:19:48,615 --> 00:19:50,163 Nice job, Kenneth. 490 00:19:50,165 --> 00:19:51,965 Thanks. Feels good to get one. 491 00:19:53,235 --> 00:19:54,896 Wait, I got one, right? 492 00:19:54,899 --> 00:19:57,103 You didn't give me one because of the speech, right? 493 00:19:57,105 --> 00:19:58,705 Merry Christmas, Kenny. 494 00:19:58,707 --> 00:20:00,006 Kendall, I need closure! 495 00:20:00,008 --> 00:20:01,775 Honey, what you need is a scented candle, 496 00:20:01,777 --> 00:20:03,710 'cause what you did is stink up the place. 497 00:20:03,712 --> 00:20:05,545 - Take it easy. - That's our coach. 498 00:20:05,547 --> 00:20:07,580 I like coaching. 499 00:20:07,582 --> 00:20:09,683 Hello, Jinglethon. 500 00:20:09,685 --> 00:20:11,518 We just wanted to rub it in your face 501 00:20:11,520 --> 00:20:14,854 that we took Santa's Purpose for all they're worth. 502 00:20:14,856 --> 00:20:17,657 Yeah, and they are never gonna see that money again 503 00:20:17,659 --> 00:20:19,659 because Christmas is a sham! 504 00:20:19,661 --> 00:20:22,028 And if you people here and watching at home 505 00:20:22,030 --> 00:20:24,531 really cared about helping others, 506 00:20:24,533 --> 00:20:26,700 that money thermometer would be full. 507 00:20:29,304 --> 00:20:31,571 And, yeah, we have a hero dog. 508 00:20:31,573 --> 00:20:33,701 Here, Pepper, you want a treat? 509 00:20:33,704 --> 00:20:36,475 Too bad! 510 00:20:49,291 --> 00:20:52,692 When you heard that they were volunteering, 511 00:20:52,694 --> 00:20:54,094 is this what you pictured? 512 00:20:54,096 --> 00:20:56,296 Yeah, me too. 513 00:20:59,263 --> 00:21:03,596 - Synced and corrected by VitoSilans - -- www.Addic7ed.com -- 36182

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